Forever in Love
by MrsCTG
Summary: Sequel to Forbidden Lust: A lot has changed for our favourite couple. Ana's dealing with her darkest demons, choosing to leave her past behind before she marries the love of her life. But can she? Can she really bury Brody, Carla and Stephen Morton once and for all? And what happens when she makes a decision that will affect her future with Christian forever more? No cheating.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hello, guys! I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. (:

The story picks up on the 28th September, three weeks before Ana and Christian's wedding. I received a lot of messages asking if the sequel would cover the wedding. My answer? Of course it does! I couldn't marry these two and not write about it!

Like Forbidden Lust, there will be romance, passion, drama and tears. But once again, this isn't and will never be a cheating story. That I can promise you.

I hope you enjoy the latest instalment…

* * *

**Chapter One - The Return.**

* * *

Anastasia's POV

"Are you on your way?"

"This is the fourth time you've phoned me asking where I am, Anastasia."

"And this is the fourth time you've brushed me off!" I spin on my heel and start pacing the porcelain floor of the lobby, puffing my cheeks out and rolling my eyes knowing full well he can't see me. "Everyone else has seen him, Christian! You told me I couldn't go in there without you."

He sighs heavily through the phone and I can just picture him running his hands through his hair in frustration, frustration with me because I keep bugging him. I can't help it though, Megan gave birth three hours ago and while we've only been here for forty-five minutes, they've all seen the baby and I haven't. I'm starting to get crabby.

Although to my fiancé's credit, he _did _only land at Sea-Tac an hour ago. Christian's been in New York all week. He wanted me to go with him but I still have so much to do for the wedding, the mere thought of being away for seven days gave me palpations. So I sent him off alone, promising that I'd be naked and waiting for him when he got home, ready for all kinds of rough and dirty sex. _So much for that plan. _

"Traffic's a bitch. Taylor's driving like a bat out of hell though, even if I am struggling to see why. The baby won't change over the next hour, Ana."

"That's not the point." I whine like a spoilt toddler. "I've missed you."

This should win him over. To say it's been torture this past week is an understatement. We've spoken over the phone four to five times a day, plus the occasional Skype date but it's not the same. Even the phone sex yesterday afternoon refused to quench my thirst for him, nothing will until I get my man back in my arms, where he belongs.

"How much?"

"You have no idea," I groan unashamedly, biting my lip when I hear his responding growl. This feels totally inappropriate considering where I am but still, he turns me on regardless.

"How can you expect me to come to the fucking hospital when all I want to do is take you to bed?"

Well fuck if that didn't drench my panties. I can practically hear his grin through the phone and it's doing _nothing _to calm me down. Seeing the baby is growing more and more unappealing by the second.

"We're being supportive, Christian. There's plenty of time for sex."

"Anastasia, we've been apart all week. There aren't enough hours in a day for what I need to do to you."

"Leave that thinking in the car. Infant ears and all." I turn when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Kate leans into Elliot's side as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, dropping a kiss to her temple. "I promise this is the last time I'll call you. Just don't be long."

"Why don't you just go up there?" Kate asks me when I hang up.

"No, I want to wait for Christian. How's Megan?"

She grins and tilts her head to the side, shifting from foot to foot in giddy excitement. it's contagious. Megan's due date isn't for another week but I'm delighted the little one decided to come early, I'd had these awful visions of her waters breaking during the ceremony or something. At least this way they can maybe come to the wedding now, it wouldn't be the same for Christian if Dylan wasn't there.

"Glowing. Dylan's proud as hell."

"I don't know why," Elliot scoffs and shakes his head. "It's all diapers, vomit and shit for him from now on. Where's the fucking fun in that?" Kate swings her arm out and socks him in the stomach, her eyes narrowing into slits.

"Ass. Go fetch the car."

"You're leaving?" She bows her head and fluffs the roots of her hair with her fingertips, a nervous habit she's picked up over the years.

"I'm umm…I'm meeting Ethan for dinner."

_Oh. _It sickens me that this is awkward, it sickens me that thinking about _Ethan _is awkward but that's just the way it is now. I still haven't seen him since he decided to accost me outside work and I'm not sure I want to either. Not only would it cause problems between me and Christian, I'm still pissed at him for saying the things he did. That's a friendship that'll never be the same again.

"I know you don't want to see him, and I don't blame you, Steele. But he _really _misses you. Isn't there any way you can-"

"No, Kate, there isn't." I sigh and rub my forehead with my fingers. "This isn't the time to discuss this. I don't want Christian walking in on this conversation. Not today. "

"I get it, Ana. My brother's a dickhead. I don't even know why I'm giving him the time of day."

"Because he's your brother and you love him." I reach out, stroking her arm through the fabric of her royal blue sweater dress. "It doesn't mean I have to like him right now, though. Even if I do miss him sometimes."

Kate nods her head sadly, a soft smile on her lips as she leans into kiss me on the cheek. "Like I said, I get it. I just need to knock some damn sense into his thick skull. Preferably with a sledgehammer."

"You know where I am if you need any help with that."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Christian Grey bursts through the double doors like the place is on fire. He's still in his suit. His hair is a mess, his shirt is crumpled and his tie looks dishevelled - _He looks so breathtakingly beautiful, I can hardly bear it. _He spots me in a nanosecond, a salacious smirk spreading across his face as he saunters towards me.

"Miss Steele,"

"Mr Grey." He holds his hand out, pulling me into his hold when I take it. _Fuck, he smells good. _"I was starting to think you were a no show."

"When have I _ever _not showed up for you?" I don't even get the chance to respond because he's kissing me like we've been apart for a month, not a week. I fist my hands in his hair and tilt my face, allowing him to slant his mouth over mine so he can deepen the kiss. It's rough, it's wet and it's sloppy. It's everything I've missed. He could make me come just by doing this. "I missed you so fucking much." He pants when he breaks away from me.

"Ditto." I grin and swipe my thumb across his lips, wiping away the remnants of my peach lip-gloss. "How was your trip?"

"Long and tedious. I'll tell you everything later." He bends to kiss me again, but this time it's soft and chaste, calming the throb in-between my thighs somewhat. "Don't we have a baby to go and drool over?"

Christian knocks on the door to Megan's room three times. The walls are a pale yellow with neutral yet bright artwork adorning the walls. Balloons surround the room and a beautiful bouquet of flowers sit on the nightstand beside Megan's bed. But right there in the centre of it all is a brand new Mommy cradling her newborn son, swaddled in a soft, pale blue blanket. Dylan's standing at the side of the bed, snapping pictures of his beautiful family on his iPhone, grinning like the proud Father he clearly is, and rightfully so, too.

Christian pulls him in for one of those, manly slap on the back hugs, clasping his shoulder roughly and offering his congratulations when I lean into kiss Megan on the cheek. Her hair is pinned into a bedraggled ponytail and her eyes are dark and puffy. She looks beyond exhausted but she's still gorgeous none the less. She's beaming.

"This," Megan shifts the position of her arms and peels the blanket away from her baby's face slightly. "Is Henry. Henry, this is Ana and Christian, your most favourite babysitters."

Then I see him. The most beautiful baby I think I've ever laid eyes on in my life. He waves his little fist in the air as he yawns the biggest yawn, snuggling his face into the comfort of his warm blanket as his Mommy strokes the super soft skin of his cheek, pulling back his tiny stocking cap slightly. I can't take my eyes off him. I feel Christian behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder as he says something to Megan but I can't hear him. I'm too enamoured with this gorgeous little boy to focus on anything else.

"Was it horrible?" I ask her, leaning in to stroke a finger down Henry's tiny button nose. Megan snorts and chuckles quietly, rocking the blue bundle in her arms softly.

"Nothing will get me doing _that _again."

"She was amazing." Dylan rounds the bed and stretches his arm out above his wife's head, placing his other hand at the back of Henry's neck, holding them both the best he can right now.

"He's so beautiful," I gush.

"He's definitely something. We couldn't be happier for you, could we, baby?" I shake my head and move into Christian's hold, grasping the hand that's loosely draped over my shoulder.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Everyone else has had a turn."

Megan shifts again, turning to the side as she hands over the most precious thing in her life. I can't remember the last time I actually held a baby, but as soon as she places Henry in my arms it all comes flooding back. I gently rock him, grinning when he wraps his tiny hand around my ring finger, grasping for dear life. I don't even realise I'm walking around the room with him until I look up, catching Christian's eye as Dylan fluffs Megan's pillows and bends down to whisper something in her ear.

He's so small and perfect. I can't believe how amazing childbirth actually is, one minute you're walking around like a whale and the next, you have a gorgeous baby in your arms. How the hell does that happen? It's incredible. Henry yawns again and stretches his little legs out. Then he opens his eyes and I literally have to hold my breath. He's looking right at me, blinking softly as his fist bumps his chin. I can't believe he's looking at me, I know he's not actually looking at _me _but still, it doesn't change how amazing this feels.

"Look at him, Christian. Isn't he gorgeous?" My man peers over my shoulder and reaches into the blanket, one of his long fingers stroking Henry's tiny ones. "Do you want a turn?"

"No, I'm fine. I haven't held a baby since Mia. Even then my Mom sat beside me with her hands stretched out the whole time in case I dropped her."

"You'll be fine, I'll show you."

I can't help but smile at how uncomfortable he looks in this moment. His large hand wraps around Henry's little butt as his other arm supports his head and neck. I don't know what he's so worried about, the second the baby stops wriggling I can tell he's a complete natural. I don't think I've ever wanted him more. There's something incredibly sexy about a man holding a child, it's so alluring.

I glance across the room to see Dylan perched on the side of Megan's bed, kissing her knuckles as she leans into him, rubbing her now much flatter stomach. I almost feel like I'm intruding, they look so in love right now, so happy. Do all couples feel like this after having a baby? Does it feel as amazing as it looks?

My heart drops into my stomach as I drink our friends in, whispering softly and sharing sweet kisses as Christian cradles their baby in his strong arms. Their whole world has been rocked upside down but for the absolute better, they have a son now. A tiny person made from their love for each other, another human being depending solely on them.

_Oh god. I feel…I'm feeling it. _

"Christian," I take a step closer, placing my hand on the back of Christian's at Henry's cute butt. "Christian?"

"Hmm?" He's completely enamoured with him. I don't think he's stopped grinning since I placed the baby in his arms.

"I think I'm ready."

"Huh?" He lifts his head and looks at me, still stroking Henry's cheek. "Ready for what? You want to head home?"

"No." I laugh quietly. "I mean this," I take a deep breath and move closer to the beautiful scene in front of me, my breathing shaky and my legs wobbly. "I think I'm ready for this."

Christian frowns for a second, raking over me from head to toe. Then he freezes. His arms stop rocking Henry, his eyes widen and his jaw drops. It's all clicked into place for him, my words washing over him like a tidal wave.

"You mean? You mean…I don't know what you mean?" I giggle and lean into kiss the side of his mouth, glancing down at the now sleeping baby in his arms.

"I feel ready, I've felt ready for a while but I wasn't one hundred percent sure. Not until now."

"I need you to say it, baby. I won't believe you until I hear you say the words."

Taking another deep breath, I tuck a tendril of hair behind my ear and lean on my tip toes so only Christian can hear what it is I'm about to say. Not that Dylan and Megan are listening, they're too immersed in each other to care what the hell we have to talk about.

"I'm ready to have your baby, Christian Grey."

* * *

Christian's POV

As soon as the wheels hit the tarmac, my thoughts instantly drift to Ana who I pray to fucking God is where she said she'd be. _Naked and in our bed, spread legged and wet for me. _That's what her last text message said and I'll be damned if I wait another second longer to get my hands on her. Watching her pinching her sweet nipples as she circled her clit with the pad of her thumb during our Skype session did _nothing _to calm the need I have for her, _the hunger. _

This is the first time I've left her for a business trip and I've fucking hated every second of it, not touching her every day has sent me into a head spin. Not being able to smell her and feel her soft skin against mine. Missing out on the way she stretches as she wakes, pushing her delectable ass into my dick. _Fuck, I've just missed _her. _Period. _

Taylor loads my luggage into the trunk of the SUV as I turn my phone back on, grinning when I see a stream of texts from Ana filing through. _One of these better be a dirty picture._ Although what she tells me isn't exactly what I had in mind. Megan's given birth, and while I'm thrilled for two of my closest friends, spending the evening at the hospital isn't exactly how I envisioned my first night home. Being balls deep inside my hot as fuck fiancée is more like it.

"Northwest Hospital, Taylor."

I quickly fill him on why we're going when I see his eyes widen through the rear view mirror. It's impossible, but I quickly realise it's because he thinks something's happened to Ana. After all, the last time we rushed to Northwest was because…No, I don't even want to think about that. I _can't _think about that. Not now.

As soon as my girl's soft, sweet voice drifts through the phone I sink back into the leather upholstery, closing my eyes as the weight of being without her for a week washes away from me completely. She's close to me, I'll be back with her soon.

I could really do with a shower and a change of clothes but I know I won't have time for that. Ana's adamant I get to the hospital as soon as possible and if I'm being honest with myself, I'm pretty pumped to meet the baby, too. I couldn't deny the pang of jealousy that shot through me when I read Ana's message but how can I not be happy? My best friend just became a father for the first time, something he's wanted ever since he met his college girlfriend eight years ago.

Something I can totally and utterly relate to.

My heart slams against my rib cage when I see her waiting for me outside of what I presume is Megan's recovery suite, arms folded across her chest as she rocks back and forth on the heel of her knee length boots. She checks her watch, releases a breath and tucks a lock of hair behind her hair. She's wearing it down and loose, the way I love it. Dressed in a pair of tight jeans with an oversized off the shoulder sweater, she turns and bites her lip when I push through the double doors, completely ignoring the young, gawping Nurse in salmon coloured scrubs as she stumbles past me with a slack jaw and wide eyes.

"I was starting to think you were a no show."

Her lips are warm and soft, coated in a fruity sheen of gloss that tastes strangely erotic. I palm her ass, pushing her into me and when she presses her tits into the fabric of my dress shirt, I talk myself out of pushing her into an empty room and fucking her senseless, something I've wanted to ever since I left her last Sunday morning.

_Fuck, she's so beautiful. _My screensaver is Ana on both my phone and my laptop, I have an entire folder dedicated to her on my Blackberry, I must scroll through that thing countless times a day. I even had a small photo printed for the sleeve in my wallet last week. But nothing, _nothing _compares to this. Seeing my baby in the flesh, feeling her skin and holding her close to me. It's like everything else is meaningless, I closed on a multi-million deal whilst in New York, I actually closed during the first forty-eight hours but what the fuck does that matter? It's all materialistic bullshit compared to the amazing woman in my arms. Something I never thought I'd hear myself saying in a million years.

""You mean? You mean…I don't know what you mean?"

If it wasn't for the three-hour old baby in my, arms. I'd be on the fucking floor right now. I look at my future wife, willing for her to make solid eye contact with me. I can read her when she looks at me, I've always been able to see right through her but now all I feel is vulnerability. My throat tightens as blood rushes to my ears, if she's saying what I think she is I don't know what I'll do. I've been waiting for this moment for what feels like a fucking lifetime.

"I feel ready, I've felt ready for a while now but I wasn't one hundred percent sure. Not until now."

"I need you to say it, baby. I won't believe you until I hear you say the words."

Ana takes a small step forward, smiling down at a sleeping Henry with nothing but adoration. A visual of her cradling our child creeps to the forefront of my mind. A little girl who looks the spit of her Mother, with chestnut curls, porcelain skin and sapphire blue eyes, nothing could be more beautiful than that. Everything seizes to exist the second she leans into my ear, her breath tickling my neck as she heavily exhales.

"I'm ready to have your baby, Christian Grey."

I don't remember leaving the hospital, I don't even remember handing Henry back to his Mother. The short ride to Escala is a blurry haze, Taylor's talking to me but I can't hear him. The only words I can focus on are Anastasia's as they play on repeat in my head over and over again. But the second the elevator doors open into the foyer, reality hits me in the face with the force of ten men.

She wants my baby. She's ready for a baby. _Our _baby.

Ana's flat on her back within seconds, sprawled across the table as the weight of my assault knocks the vase of Peonies onto the floor with a loud smash. I fist her sweater at the neck and pull hard and fast, tearing the useless cashmere away from her body before she can even react.

"Christian-" My right hand curls around her jaw, pulling her face to me so I can shut her up with a vigorous kiss. I kiss her like I've never fucking kissed her before, driving my tongue into her mouth as our teeth clash roughly. My left hand fists her hair and I tug at the roots, she gasps and throws her head back, lifting her legs so she can wrap them around my waist the best she can from the awkward position I have her in.

I feel like I'm on fire. She's yanking at my tie, her fumbling fingers struggling to unbutton my shirt. I try to help her but she won't let me, swatting my hands away and tilting her head so I can fuck her mouth. In the end she gives up, ripping at my shirt, sending the small buttons flying in every other direction, clattering against the floor. She wants this just as much as I do, and what makes it even better is the fact that she wants this for the same reason I do.

I know I can't make her pregnant right now. She's still on the pill as far as I'm aware and knowing Ana as well as I do, she wouldn't stop taking precautions without talking to me first. But knowing the woman I love wants to have my baby, wants to give me a family, well that drives me to unadulterated insanity all on it's own.

I toss her boots over my shoulder, not even bothering to check where they land. My slacks are at my ankles and Ana's jeans are tangled below her knees. As soon as I feel the snap of her panties, I drive into her with one smooth thrust._ Holy mother fucking hell_! Her palms flatten against my cheeks, holding my face still as I swivel my hips in a figure of eight, her eyes rolling into the back of her head when I grind against her G-Spot repeatedly.

"The cameras," She gaps. "Christian the cameras are on-"

"Don't think about the fucking cameras. Look at me, Ana," I roughly grasp her jaw and yank her face back to mine when she cranes her head to the wall behind us. "Just look at me. Feel me, baby." The surveillance room is empty but I'll delete this footage before anyone can view it, I just don't tell her that.

My cock slides in at out of her wet heat at a slow yet hard pace. I release her chin, lean down to kiss her and curl my hands underneath her shoulder blades so I can hold her still, I don't want her moving. I need to possess her right now, I need to fuck her and I need to fuck her good. The love I feel for my fiancée' is beyond overwhelming but this isn't soft and romantic. It's rough and raw. It's all consuming.

An hour ago, this would have just been sex after being apart for a week. I've been without her body for seven days. 168 hours and it's fucking killed me, her sweet pussy has been on my mind every minute of every day but it's different now. This _feels _different. I'm marking her, possessing her as mine in a way no-one ever can or ever will.

"I can't wait to have your baby,"

_Oh fuck._ I was dangerously close before, but now I'm hanging on by a thread. A flimsy as fuck thread that's about to snap at any second.

"Don't say that, Ana." I growl into her mouth, swivelling my hips again. "I can't…I can't take it."

"It's true, I can't help it. Thinking about you making me pregnant _right _now?" She pushes herself up onto her elbows and bites her lip as she locks eye contact, circling her hips and meeting me thrust for thrust. "It just makes me want to fuck you harder."

I do something I don't think I've ever done before. I blow before her. Burying my face in her neck, she fists a hand in my hair and bites down on the wing of my shoulder as I freeze completely, spurting thick streams of cum inside her. I'm totally and utterly paralysed, my toes curl and my palms flatten at the side of her head. I'm vaguely aware that she's coming on my pulsing cock but the edges of my vision are blurred and jaded, all I can feel is my own ecstasy, it's all I can focus on.

"You're such a devious little minx," Ana grins and pushes my perspiration soaked hair back, scratching my scalp with her fingernails. She's flushed and breathless with her tits poking out the cups of her bra, but she's still so fucking gorgeous. My dick twitches inside her but I don't think I'd be able to handle another round of that for at least half an hour. _Well, twenty minutes at least. Okay, ten minutes. _

"You started it, Grey. You can't expect me to lay there and take it like a gormless moron." She winces as I pull out of her, cum seeping down her thighs and onto the table.

"Damn that's hot."

"What?" Ana stands and wobbles slightly, blowing a strand of hair out of her face as she tucks her breasts back into her bra.

"Our cum mixed together like that. Turns me the fuck on."

"You could go again after _that?"_ I grin and pull my jeans back up, winking at her when I catch her checking out the package.

"You have met me, right?"

"Yeah, but still. You fucked the hell out of me."

"I'll do it again if you don't put your damn jeans back on." I cup her face, kiss her gorgeous lips and bend to pull her pants back up into place, popping a swift spank on her ass when I'm done. "Come on, we've got some CCTV footage to delete."

* * *

We're sat in bed, half naked whilst eating Macaroni and Cheese out of bowls, listening to Michael Bublé singing about going home. Quite a fitting song choice when I think about it. This is what I've missed the most, the intimacy. I've never been one for needing company, I quite happily lived on my own for fuck knows how long but since Ana came into my life, I can barely function if she's not near. Even when we're discussing trivial shit, it soothes me.

"Why now?"

"Why now, what?" She pops a forkful of pasta into her mouth and chews slowly, kicking one leg over the other.

"Well, you said seeing Henry swayed it for you. But what if you hadn't? Would you have still been honest with me about feeling ready?"

Ana cocks her head to the side, her thick hair falling down her shoulder as her lips flatten into a thin line. It's not aggressive though, I can tell she's really thinking about her answer and I love her for that. She wouldn't be my Ana if all she gave me was some cock and bull story.

"I can't pin-point a time where it all fell into place for me," She starts. "I guess it just…clicked one day. Seeing Henry wasn't what pushed me to tell you, it was seeing Dylan and Megan together. They looked so happy, so complete. I want that for us."

I couldn't love her anymore if I tried. Here she sits in our bed, completely naked and bare faced, telling me how she truly feels. Something I've been desperate for ever since she was attacked. I've needed my Ana back.

"But you _do_ want a baby? You're not just saying this because you think it's what I want to hear?"

"God no!" She mumbles through a mouthful of food, swallowing rapidly so she can finish. "I want a baby because I want a family with you, Christian. It just feels so right and natural." Then she looks at me and frowns, an adorable 'V' forming in the middle of her brows. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

Now it's my turn to frown, all wide-eyed and perturbed.

"Are you joking? Did that performance in the foyer not prove to you just how much I _do _want this?"

"I know that, but-"

"Baby," I stop her. Setting my half full bowl onto the nightstand. "I've wanted a child with you for as long as I can remember. Or have you forgotten my incessant nagging? That fight we had that lead me to hiding out at GEH like a pathetic dickhead? How I refused to communicate with you for more than ten seconds at a time?"

She giggles but I struggle to find the funny side. I still cringe whenever I think about those two god awful days of not talking to her. I acted like a fucking asshole and she didn't deserve it one iota, she just wasn't ready. I pushed her and she wasn't ready.

_But she's ready now. _

"It's a big step though, having children. It won't be easy."

"Now who's having second thoughts?" I joke.

"No, I'm not at all. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't one-hundred percent sure. I could never do that to you." She stabs at her Macaroni with the tines of her fork. "I just don't want you to think this will be effortless. Having a baby can add a massive strain to a relationship, Christian. And what with the wedding,"

"Hey," I clasp her jaw in-between my finger and thumb, bringing my face close to hers so I can press our foreheads together. "I'm not saying this needs to happen now. We don't need to fall pregnant straight away." Ana snorts and laughs, stuffing the last of her pasta into her mouth before placing the bowl on the bed next to her.

"You do realise, as soon as I come off the pill it's a strong possibility? Especially with how often we go at it."

"Well, when are you thinking of stopping?"

"I don't know." She shrugs like we're discussing shoes. "Tomorrow?" I splutter and cough on my water, banging my chest with my fist to catch my breath. I expected her to say soon, but I never dreamt it would be _this_ soon.

"Do you not think that's a good idea?"

"Are you kidding?" Pushing her down, I roll on top of her and kick her legs open with my knee. "Do you have any idea how fucking happy that makes me? Fuck, just thinking about it.."

Her breathing hitches when my hardening cock angrily pokes her inner thigh. What the fuck will I be like when she actually does stop taking her birth control? I can barely take it _now. _She still smells of hard sex, even though we've showered I can still smell it. That paired with the uncontrollable desire I have for her? It's a heady combination.

So I do the one thing I so desperately want. I throw her legs over my shoulders and devour her pussy like the starved man I am, nipping her clit and tossing her into a quick, body shattering climax before flipping her over and fucking her hard, gripping the headboard for leverage. Why does something tell me it wont be long before I'm knocking her up?

* * *

Anastasia's POV

It's a strange feeling. Knowing the next time I have sex I could fall pregnant. But oddly enough, it's not a daunting one. I thought I'd be terrified once the novelty of Christian smothering me wears off but I'm not, I can't even _begin _to explain why or how, I just know I don't feel scared anymore.

This morning marks the first morning of me not taking my pill. After showering, the first thing I did was reach into the overhead cupboard at the vanity for the wash bag housing my trusty birth control. I've taken it every morning on and off for the past nine years but today was a first. It felt strangely liberating.

I'm applying my mascara when Christian leisurely strolls into the bathroom, his finger scrolling down his tablet as he leans against the doorjamb dressed in only his dark gray slacks, his button and belt still undone.

"Did you know your tits can shrink?"

"Excuse me?"

"It says here that the female's breasts can shrink once she comes off the pill. It's fucking mind-boggling."

"Are you researching the side effects or something?"

I laugh loudly when I realise he's doing just _that._ He said something about looking into the medical facts last night but I thought he was dicking around. But watching him now, engrossed in his iPad as he continues to read whatever page he's currently on does something to me. He couldn't look anymore adorable if he tried. _And hot. Just look at those abs…_

"Did you know that?"

"I don't think that applies to me, Christian. My boobs have always been above average, I wouldn't worry."

"Thank fuck for that," He exhales and shakes his head, almost as if he's ridding himself of a disturbing image. _Me flat-chested most probably. _"I almost shit myself when I read thatarticle."

"Why _are _you reading it?" I turn back to the mirror, teasing the tendrils of hair framing my face as I fiddle with my chignon for the tenth time this morning.

"I'm just interested that's all." He says, pushing himself off the door and walking towards me. "I want to know how this decision affects your body, baby. I want to know it all, every little thing."

"The only thing I'm worried about is the cramps. That was the reason why I started taking birth control in the first place, after all. I've heard they return with a vengeance." Christian flips the cover on his tablet and sets it on the counter beside me before wrapping his arms around my waist, nuzzling his nose into the back of my hair.

"Does that mean I'll have a grumpy little diva on my hands? Challenging me everyday?" I smirk at him through the glass. "It actually sounds quite hot."

"Oh yeah, like that do you, Grey?"

"I like it when you fight me. It turns me on like fuck." His hands splay across my stomach underneath my black tie belt. "Just how grumpy are we talking, though?"

"Hopefully I won't be." I try to shrug out of his hold so I can finish getting ready but he's adamant about keeping me locked down. I still haven't eaten breakfast yet and I'm vastly running out of time. "Baby, it's eight-ten-"

"I read about ovulation while you were in the shower." He cuts in, completely ignoring me. "That shit's fucking fascinating."

"You were what?" I ask him, stunned.

"Ovulation. Actually, turn around real quick."

"Why?" Christian has his hands on my shoulders but I don't budge, I'm concentrating on him through the mirror too much.

"I want to check if there's a change in your cervical mucus," My jaw drops to the floor as my eyes pop the fuck out of my head. Christian spins me around and bends to his knees, reaching for the hem of my Donna Karan jersey dress but I grab his wrist before he can hike it up.

"Whoa, Christian, what are you doing!"

"It'll only take a minute, baby. If it's clear and stretchy then it means you could be fertile, I just want to feel." His fingers creep into the side of my panties but I clench my thighs together in the hopes of stopping him. Not only will I be wet there anyway after this, but this is all getting a little too scientific for my liking.

"Christian, come here." I tell him in a soft tone, raking my fingers through his hair when he stands back up. "This isn't how I want this to go."

"What do you mean?"

He almost looks hurt that I've stopped him during his little 'check up'. I love that he's so excited about this and I adore him for wanting to be as prepared as he can be, but I don't want to turn this into some sort of clinical trial. We're a passionate, happy and loving couple. The last thing I want to do is turn sex into a chore. Plus, I've _literally _only just come off the pill. I doubt there would be all that much to look at this early on.

"I want this to happen naturally. I don't want ovulation charts and scheduled sex, I want us to carry on as normal. And as for giving me a vaginal exam first thing in the morning? You're my fiancé, not my Gynaecologist."

"But-" I press a finger to his lips, smirking when he furrows his brow in protest.

"It'll happen for us when it's meant to be, Christian. We'll get our baby when the time is right."

At that he grins wide, his beautiful gray orbs dancing with delight. I can't remember the last time I saw him this happy. Was it when I agreed to be his wife? I think so. But this feels different, he _looks _different. I actually resent myself for waiting this long to be honest, but I wasn't ready before whereas now I am. I'm stronger now and I feel stable enough to bring a child into the world. Christian Grey's child.

"Does that mean I get to fuck you silly every day and night?" I kiss the corner of his mouth and stroke the stubble on his unshaven cheek.

"Oh, yeah," I snort. "Like you've never done that before?"

* * *

"Kate, I'm working. Can't this wait an hour?"

"No, Anastasia, it can't. I'll be with Heather then, you need to make a decision now." I tap my pen against the desk and puff my cheeks out, clucking my tongue as I struggle to come up with a solution.

"Why are _you _meeting my wedding planner for lunch?"

"Because I'm your Maid of Honor and it's my job, plus you're always so damn busy! And stop trying to change the subject!" I roll my eyes and pull the receiver away from my ear, pulling a mocking face as I scowl at the phone. "The colour scheme is pink and white, right?"

"Yes, that hasn't changed."

"So go with something pink and white!" She half yells into the phone. "I thought you'd already made a decision on the flowers, anyway?"

"I did," I sigh and rub my forehead with my fingertips. "But once I'd chosen the centrepieces it all just clashed." I can hear her blowing a bubble with her gum then popping it. "How about white and pink roses?"

"Roses? Really? I thought you were more of a peonies kinda' girl?"

I blush as I think about the vase of peonies that were knocked off the foyer table last night when Christian took me hard and fast. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at them again without thinking of desperate, ravenous sex whilst being recorded on CCTV.

"I don't know, lately I've just gone off them."

"Okay, Roses it is. What shade of pink?"

"Soft. And soft white too. Nothing garish."

"Got it." I can hear her tapping against something. I'm presuming it's the keypad of her Tablet as she rapidly takes notes. Although she really doesn't need do, I trust her with everything she's doing for my wedding. "Have you decided on which dress for Bethany yet?"

"The second one. Definitely."

The first dress was beautiful enough but I can't stop thinking about the second option. It's a gorgeous sleeveless dress with a delicate organza overlay, a soft pink sash cinching the waist. Bethany's face as she tried it on was priceless, her little fingers toyed with the fully lined skirt and her grin was the biggest I've ever seen it. I should have said yes right there and then.

"Has Christian said anymore about the catering?"

"Not yet," I sigh again, sinking into my chair. "I'll go over it again with him tonight. I really want his input."

"I'll tell her. Anything else you want me to throw her way?"

"Nope." I say, popping the 'p'.

"Sure? You've only got three weeks to go, Anastasia. We all need to pull our fingers out our asses and stop fucking around."

I bite my lip to stifle a laugh. Kate's like a god damn Drill Sergeant with this wedding planning, I would even go as far as saying she's worse than Heather. She actually reminds me of Christian when she's like this but I'd never tell her that. She'd punch me in the face. Not to mention how hilarious I find it when she calls me 'Anastasia'.

"I'll bear that in mind. Can I go now?"

"You're such a smartass." I sense her smile through the phone. "I'll call you when I wrap up with her, okay?"

"Looking forward to it already."

If it's not Kate it's Olivia. And if it's not Olivia, it's Fran. Although Fran's actually quite mellow, except for when it comes to my Bachelorette, she's hell bent on organising that. Christian and I both decided Vegas is off the table. Not only is it tacky and completely inappropriate for a couple about to get married, Blake and Liv are in a really weird place and I've made a vow to avoid drama the best I can, tears and tantrums are _not _how envision my final night as a free woman going.

She's temporarily living at Kate's which is hilarious. She called me two nights ago at one in the morning, begging me to talk to her so she could drown out the sound of Kate and Elliot fucking. I laughed so loud I woke Christian, who of course can't even spoon me without getting a hard on. So poor Olivia had live sex shows from both sides of the phone, although I remained surprisingly quiet when Christian lazily slid his cock inside me from behind, only moaning when he lifted my leg and swivelled his hips, hitting my sweet spot with a swift thrust. I don't know who hung up first, me or Olivia.

Logan strolls across the office floor, bypassing various people who all want a piece of him. I expect him to go straight to his office but he doesn't, heading straight for me instead as he shuts off his phone and stuffs it into the pocket of his pinstriped suit jacket. He looks tired and thrown together. He's always had a rough and rugged look about him but this is something else entirely. _When was the last time he slept?_

"Are you available?"

"Nothing that can't wait. What can I do for you?"

"I need conference room three reserving for two-thirty. Can you get onto it?"

"Sure." I tell him, already dialling reception before he can even finish.

"I need you to sit in with me. Whatever else I gave you to do today, fucking scratch it. Send any calls through."

He disappears into his office without another word, and while I should be perturbed by his brusque instructions, I'm not. This is how he's been for the past four weeks. Yet with me he's slightly softer, he isn't anything like he used to be but he's far from disrespectful. I overheard two blow up dolls gossiping in the archive room last week, apparently Sarah has left him or some shit of that description but I paid no notice. I refuse to believe anything until I see him without his wedding band.

"You skipping out on lunch with me or something?" Fran chirps down the phone.

"Huh?"

"Your fiancé has just walked in looking hot as fuck. And now he's staring at me, yep _right _at me."

"Christian?" Why would Christian be here? I quickly scroll through my phone for any missed calls or messages but there's nothing. He didn't say anything about meeting me, did he?

"Unless you've any other sex gods hiding in your closet? Yes, it's Christian."

"Ask him what he wants?"

A muffled stretch of silence looms as she pulls the phone away from her ear. I vaguely hear Christian's voice in the background but I can't make out anything else, my leg bounces and I chew on my thumbnail nervously. I can't remember the last time he visited me at work, maybe never? Every worse case scenario springs to mind. Is Grace okay? Is it Mia or Elliot? No it can't be Elliot, Kate would've said something.

"He said he needs to see you."

"Now? Is it important?"

"He says so. Did I ever tell you you're a lucky bitch, Ana? I mean holy shit balls-"

"Yes, yes, yes, he's amazing I know." I wave a hand in the air and bounce in my seat. "Is the conference room free right now?"

"Has been for the past hour."

"Tell him to meet me there."

I shut down my email server, file away the pile of manuscripts I was sifting through this morning and scurry across the department floor. All five conference rooms are three corridors away, but right now it feels like I'm crossing the Sahara. I bypass the copy room and the break room, panting heavily by the time I finally reach the third room on the left, frowning when I see the shutters are already drawn to a close. _Odd. _

Christian is perched on the end of the table, arms folded and ankles crossed. He's wearing one of my favourite suits, an all gray number that has me weak at the knees whenever I see him in it. His hair's in it's usual 'just fucked' state, but it's more unruly somehow. More sexier.

"Jesus, Christian!" My shoulders sag as I turn and close the door, releasing a relieved breath when I see he's still in one piece. "Where's the fucking fire?"

I don't know how he does it, but before I can even blink, he has me pinned against the door with his tongue down my throat. _Fuck. Me. _His hands fist my hair and the pin securing my chignon falls loose, tendrils of hair tickling the nape of my neck. After a beat, I curl my hands around his wrists and tilt my head to the side, groaning like a wanton whore when his lips leave my neck and glide across my jaw all the way to my neck. _Shit, I hope no-one heard that!_

"It's right here, baby." He breathes when he comes up for air, grinding his evident arousal into my quivering core. Every inch of my body feels amplified, revved up and ready to fall the floor with my legs spread wide. "Fuck, come here."

Christian smashes our lips together once more, only this time he lets one hand drop and snakes it underneath my knee length dress. I know exactly what he's about to do and I'm powerless to stop it. I don't _want _to stop it. He's ignited something inside of me and when he does this, there's no going back. _Despite the fact I'm at work with a building full of people. Anyone of them could walk in here and catch us. _

"Christian," I fight for breath, scraping my nails across the skin at the back of his neck as his hands grope my breasts through my shift dress. He's uncontrollable. "Christian, I'm at work-"

"So?" His teeth nip my ear lobe. "I was at work too. That didn't stop me from wanting this," Another nip. "I can't stop fucking thinking about you, Ana. About this."

My head's thrown back now, lolled to the side as he holds me upright. I'm panting like a race horse, unable to catch my breath and when he slides his knee in-between my legs and presses the weight of my body down onto it, a fierce throb shoots through me.

"Aaah,"

"Knowing you're off that damn pill, knowing the next time I fuck you could make you pregnant? It's been fucking driving me crazy." God damn it! His words alone will be the death of me. "So there I was, sat in my office like the good little boy I am when all of a sudden I thought," His tongue slides up the side of my neck, flicking against the shell of my ear. "Why wait?"

And with that he loses the one ounce of control he had left. I hold my breath when I feel his fingers at my sex, fully expecting him to rip my panties off me but he doesn't. Instead he wraps one arm around my waist, buries his face in my neck and shoves the tiny scrap of lace to the side. Thrusting two, thick digits inside me.

"Oh, fucking god!" I close my eyes and bite down on my lip hard. But that doesn't stop the sex crazed moans seeping through my lips.

"Quiet, baby. Do you want everyone to hear you?"

"N…No. No."

My arms curl around his neck, pulling him close to me. He willingly melts into my hold, sliding his fingers in and out of me at a furious pace. He still has his knee between my legs and when he lifts it, he pushes his palm into my clit and I cry out, one arm leaving his neck and flying to the side for the door handle, needing it for leverage as he finger fucks me in the conference room.

"Hear that?" Christian breathes into my ear. "That's how much you want me. How much you want this." Sure as shit, a squelching noise resonates off the four walls as my arousal coats his palm. I don't think I've ever been this desperate in my life. "You're such a dirty girl, Anastasia Steele."

"You make me dirty," I groan unashamedly. "Make me come. I need to come."

With that he stops and withdraws his fingers. I want to fucking cry. I can smell myself when he lifts his hand to his mouth, swiping his tongue across the tip of his middle finger. _And he says I'm the dirty one? _

"Fuck, you taste good. I think I might go in for more."

He drops to his knees, spreads my legs and tells me to grip his hair and not let go. I soon see why. His mouth covers my sex whole, kissing my swollen lips like he's kissing my mouth, his tongue swirling and flicking against my clit at a torturously slow pace. What the fuck is he doing? Two minutes ago he was eating me alive and now he's taking his sweet old time? _I don't think so. _

"Christian," I growl. "What are you doing?"

He doesn't reply, he just continues with his torment on my sex with lazy yet powerful swipes of his tongue. My nipples are hard and needy, straining against the confines of my bra and suddenly all I can think about is ripping the damn thing off me. My fingers tug at the soft, draped neck and I tug. I'm fully aware of how much Christian paid for this dress and the last thing I want is to actually _rip_ it, but my skin feels like it's on fire! I can imagine just how flushed I must look right now, pressed up against the door with my leg hooked over my Fiancé's shoulder as he fucks me with his tongue. _His sinful, sinful, tongue. _

"Lock the door," He breaks contact for a second and looks up at me.

"W…What?" I stutter.

"Lock. The. Door." Christian comes back up to my level, flattening his palms at the side of my head and bending so that our lips are almost touching. I can smell myself on him. "Unless you want someone to walk in and catch us?"

I can't lie and say I don't find the thought of that _insanely _hot, but if anyone were to physically catch us I'd be mortified, something I'd never be able to live down. Christian slowly unbuckles his belt and pops the button of his slacks, pulling out his thick, heavy cock. I can't take my eyes off of him, I so desperately want to look down but I don't.

So without breaking eye contact, I reach behind me and twist the lock as smoothly as I can. My breathing is laboured and my chest is heaving, if I thought my nipples were uncomfortable before they're a hell of a lot worse now. Christian smirks like the arrogant, sexy bastard he is and clasps my jaw between his thumb and finger, tilting my head up slightly.

"Good girl."

Then he attacks, diving in for what he came here for in the first place. My feet dangle in the air for several seconds before hooking around his waist as Christian lifts me and slams me into the hard surface of the door behind me. He knows I don't have spare panties hanging around the office so instead of tearing them off me, he hooks his finger in and slides them across the wet lips of my sex.

It amazes me how strong he is when he fucks me like this. He can effortlessly hold me for minutes on end whilst trying to keep himself upright, I know I'm not heavy but I can't be light either! The thick, bulbous head of his cock glides across my sodden flesh for what feels like hours and I whimper loudly in frustration. He's still staring at me, his grey orbs piercing through my blues in what I can only describe as awe. Or is it love? It could very well be both it's that intense.

My fingers curls around the nape of his neck as he softly thrusts, teasing me without giving me any real penetration. I open my mouth to ask him if something's wrong, but then it hits me. This is the first time we'll have sex without a barrier between us. We've never used condoms and most probably never will either, but I've always been on birth control. There's never been a chance of any mistakes happening, no unexpected visitors or surprises. _Until now. _Now there's nothing stopping us from starting a family, there's nothing between us. I bite my lip and nod my head softly, telling him that it's okay. Telling him that I want this.

He grinds the head of his cock against me once more before slowly pushing inside. My head falls back and my fingers tighten at the back of his neck, leaving imprints on his overly sensitised skin. I hear his quiet yet feral growl bit other than that it's silent, where he was fast and rough with me before, he's now slow and methodical. He's taking his time.

"God, I love you. I love you so fucking much, Anastasia."

"I love you, too." I mewl into his ear, rocking my hips and meeting him thrust for thrust. This is so erotic, so sensual. I fully expected a fast, hard fuck but that's the complete opposite of what this is. "The chair. Sit in the chair."

Christian sheds his jacket as he sits in the large, black swivel chair at the head of the table. His cock is still planted deep inside me and when he shifts to loosen his tie, he hits the spot that can make me quiver right from the center of my core.

"Ride me, baby. Take me."

I tuck my knees at the side of his legs and place my hands on his shoulders as I begin to move, rocking back and forth and up and down with the occasional clench of my muscles. I so desperately want to be naked with him, I want to feel our sweaty chests sliding against each other as we fuck but we're already taking a huge risk, shedding clothes will just intensify that risk further.

Christian must sense my distress because he squeezes my ass, snakes his hands underneath my dress and pushes it up, his hands splayed across my bare back above the lace of my panties. Just the feel of his hands on me drives me wild, so I pick my speed up, using his shoulders for leverage as I bounce on my man's cock in the middle of the conference room.

How the fuck am I supposed to sit in here this afternoon now? How can I liaise with a potential author and take notes when all I'll be able to think about is how I had mind-blowing sex not even an hour earlier? Logan will sit in this very chair, the chair where Christian's half naked ass had been. The chair where I rode my fiancé until I could barely see straight.

"Does that feel good?" His breath is hot and heavy on my ear, caressing my skin like a silk glove. "Does my cock feel good inside you, Ana?"

"Y…Yes." I gasp for breath, burying my face in the crook of his neck when my stomach quivers. The first sign of my impending orgasm creeping in. "You feel good. So, so good."

"I'm gonna' come so fucking hard," Christian growls and squeezes my ass, aiding my movements and making me push harder against him. "Are you ready, baby?"

All I can do is nod my head as the shaking in my legs start. My torso locks and my hands tighten around his neck, thrusting into his hair as he pummels into my sex like a jack hammer, I bite down on the strip of exposed skin at his collar to keep me from crying out but that just spurs him on even more.

"Fffffuckkk' He spits through gritted teeth as the first spurt of hot, cum shoots into me. " Mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, _mine." _Christian's hands push at my back, crushing me against him as he comes hard and heavy with ragged breaths puffing at my cheek. He throbs and pulses for the longest time, groaning like a tortured animal into my ear as he slowly starts to wane, dwindling inside of me.

There's so much I want to say, so much I want to tell him but I don't. Right now, no words are needed. What we've just done speaks volumes all by itself so instead of talking, I wrap my arms around him and just hold him close to me as we both start to calm. Slowly, we start to calm.

* * *

"Is Taylor here?"

"Outside in the car. Why?"

"Does he know what you came here for?" I'm on the floor near the door trying to find the bobby pins that fell from my hair earlier. It's a wild and frizzy mess after Christian tugged on it whilst riding out his orgasm.

"He doesn't ask those sort of questions, Ana. He doesn't have the right to."

"I know that but still, the man isn't an idiot."

I groan aloud, slapping my thighs before standing up. How far can those damn things bounce? I have a hair tie in my purse but I _really _didn't want to walk out there with what I've got going on, it won't take a genius to figure out what I've been doing as soon as they see me. Christian fixes his tie, tucks his shirt back into his pants and runs a hand through his hair. Just like that he's the epitome of perfection again.

"I'm sure I'll think of something." He stalks towards me, cups my face and plants a soft, tender kiss on my lips. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" I frown.

"I'm just checking you're not having second thoughts about the whole baby thing, that's all." I tug on his tie and pull him down to me, forcing his arms around my waist so he's holding me.

"I would've stopped you if that was the case. I want this, Christian. I want it more than anything."

"I'm sorry I steamrolled you. I just couldn't wait until tonight to get my hands on you." He actually looks a bit sheepish. A small, embarrassed smile curls at the corner of his chiselled mouth and I lean on my tip-toes to kiss it.

"Never apologise for wanting me, Mr. Grey. Besides, did you _see _me putting up a fight?"

"No," He grins wide. "But then I didn't give you a lot of choice."

"You never do." I smooth a hand over his shirt and fix his collar. "Now get out of here, I have a meeting."

* * *

I feel like I've been staring at damn computer screens all day. I roughly rub my eyes with my fingers and blink several times to rid myself of this incessant stinging, the laptop is starting to burn my legs and I'm getting a numb ass. I need a break.

Picking up my phone, I check the time and plug it into the outlet at the side of the bed. I've been holed up here for the past two hours working on the wedding. Christian called me at work around four-thirty telling me he'd be home later than usual, not that I'm the least bit surprised. He ditched an afternoon of mergers and acquisitions for a quick fuck in a conference room, no wonder he's behind. Although if I'm honest, having him out of the apartment allows me the time to get some work done without him molesting me. I love his hands on me, but sometimes a girl needs some alone time to sort her shit out.

"Hey, Daddy."

"Can you see me?" I laugh as my father fiddles with his web cam, standing up and sitting back down again before finally pulling his chair back so I can see his face instead of just his chest. I've been trying to get him on the old Skype train for years now, but only lately has he relented and agreed to conform to modern technology. "Hey, baby. How's things?"

"Good. Planning for the wedding is keeping me busy."

"You look tired, Annie." He frowns and braces his forearms against his wooden desk, leaning forward as if he's trying to climb into the computer screen. "I hope you're not over exerting yourself, young lady."

"Oh yeah, Dad." I scoff and gesture to the various pillows hoisting me up and the bag of potato chips beside me on the bed. "I'm working real hard over here. Don't worry I'm a big girl. Plus, I have Kate and the Grey's helping me. Not to mention a wedding planner."

"How's Christian?"

I tell him about my fiancé being in New York all week but I don't dwell on how much I'd missed him. Ray loves Christian and always has done, but I know his lifestyle plays on his mind with his constant travelling and the amount of pressure he puts himself under. Dad's always told me never to settle for anything less than perfect, and I know how much he worries about me staying in Escala all by myself. Even though I have a hoard of security watching my every move, Luke even _lives _in the apartment's headquarters but that isn't good enough for my Daddy. My heart actually hurts when I think about him in Montesano worrying about me, I'm no longer that scared fourteen year old I once was but that means Jack shit to him.

I quickly fill him in on Megan giving birth to Henry, but again I don't go into too much detail. I'm not ready to tell him Christian and I are trying for a baby, I'm not ready to tell anyone but especially my Dad. I think me getting married is a big enough strain on him as it is, I know he already feels like he's losing me.

"I've invited Aunt Jen to the wedding."

"You did?" Ray sounds surprised. His eyes widen and his beer freezes mid air as he lifts the bottle to his lips. "Wow. I haven't seen her in years."

"I know. I was actually a little worried about it, I don't even know if she'll want to come."

"Why wouldn't she?" My Dad frowns. "Annie, that woman adored you."

"Exactly. _Adored. _Past tense." My fingers toy with the rich, silk comforter as I look down and away from the screen. "I haven't spoken to her in so long, Dad."

"That wasn't your fault, baby. You know she only stayed away because she couldn't-"

"Stand Mom yeah I know." I sigh and scratch the top of my head. "It doesn't stop it from hurting though. We were so close once, and when she cut contact it stung like a bitch." I slam my lips shut as I realise I said the word 'bitch' in front of my Daddy. I'm a twenty-four year old woman and I _still _worry about being scolded. "I still don't know why she didn't try to see me."

"Annie," Ray sighs and scrubs his forehead with his hand. "A lot happened when you were attacked. Stuff you still don't know about."

"Like what?" Suddenly I'm all ears. I push my wedding binder off my lap and sit up straighter.

"She came to see you at the hospital the night it happened."

"She did?"

"She _flew _for your Mother, Ana. I've never seen her react so violently before, I had to literally pin her to the wall to stop her from scratching Carla's eyes out."

"I'm surprised you didn't let her." I snort.

"I was tempted, believe me. But I knew that wouldn't solve anything, I just wanted to get you the hell out of there and back home to me." He shakes his head as if trying to rid himself of the painful memory. "You were sleeping when Jen came into your room, you were so exhausted and emotional."

"Daddy, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

A tear rolls down my cheek at the sound of my father's voice cracking. I remember feeling so out of it after being admitted, I knew they'd sedated me because I wouldn't stop screaming and fighting the nurses, at the time it mortified me but now I'm nothing but thankful. If my Dad gets this choked up just _talking _about it, what the hell was he like when it happened?

"No, you should hear it, Ana. I don't want you thinking Jen didn't care about you because she did, she loved you so much. _That's _why she couldn't stick around." I nod my head once, silently pleading with him to continue. "She stroked your hair, kissed your face and whispered into your ear. I didn't hear what she said but the woman was a mess, Annie. She was hysterical. Sometimes I think she was meant to be your Mother, it sounds ridiculous but I do. She was more maternal than that shrew ever was."

"I can't believe she came to see me. I know what happened to me hit her hard, but I never…" I trail off quietly, unsure of what to say next. "Do you think she'll come to the wedding?"

"I don't doubt it for a second, Annie. That woman loved you with everything she had, she just couldn't bear to see you in pain. None of us could."

"Is that why she never tried to make contact?"

"She walked out of that hospital and vowed to never look back. She disowned your mother but she never disowned you, she didn't even know I took you back home to live with me. That's how cut off she was."

"She never called you?"

"Not once." Dad shakes his head. "We were close when your mom and I were married but it's not like we were best friends or anything. I'm sure she just assumed you'd gone back to Carla."

"How?" I ask in disgust. "Who in their right mind would ever let me go back to that hell hole? Surely she knew _you _wouldn't let me."

"I don't know, Ana. The law tends to stick on the mother's side even when it's wrong. Plus the fact that I'm not your biological Father…"

That never even came up. Carla was frantic to take me home once I was given the all clear, she and Dad fought over me for what felt like days but it wasn't even a choice for me. I couldn't even look at my Mother, all I wanted was to go home to Montesano where I felt safe. It wasn't like I was a child either, the authorities could see how frightened I was but when Dad was close I seemed to calm instantly. Funny thing was, I didn't want Carla to suffer for what that bastard to me. I didn't want her getting into trouble but at the same time I couldn't be near her. I just wanted out.

"I'm even more nervous about her responding now. It's already been over a week since we sent the invitations out. What if she's moved?"

"Give her time, baby. She'll get in touch I know she will."

We quickly change the subject and move onto a much lighter topic of conversation before hanging up twenty minutes later. I must have fallen asleep because I jump when I feel strong hands pulling at my arms and legs.

"Shh, it's only me, baby."

"Christian?" I croak, my voice still thick with sleep.

"You fell asleep with the laptop on your legs. I'm just making you more comfortable."

"What time is it?" I push my messy hair out of my face and blink, adjusting to the light. Christian's stripping out of his pants and shirt, tossing his tie onto the nightstand before climbing in beside me in just his boxer shorts.

"Eleven-Thirty."

"Have you just got in?" I'm still woozy from abruptly jumping awake. My Fiancé opens the nook of his arm and nods for me to snuggle in, stroking his fingers up and down my spine once I do.

"I lost track of time," He peppers my forehead with soft kisses. "I left as soon as I realised how fucking late it was. I should've called."

"S'okay." I grumble through a yawn. "I was asleep so I wouldn't have answered anyway. Looks like I lost track of time, too."

I'm still wearing my tank top and yoga pants but I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Christian's skin is warm and soft against my cheek and before long, I feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest as he slowly drifts into sleep. I turn over, blindly fumble with the light switch and bathe the room in darkness before snuggling back into the warm wall of muscle that is the man I love.

* * *

Don't forget to check out the brand new Pinterest board for visuals!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - Old Faces Rearing Ugly Heads.  
**

Author's note- So, who's watched the movie? WOW is all I can say about that. Jamie was everything I thought he'd be and Dakota was incredible. I never thought I'd find it funny but there were points where I couldn't stop laughing. I won't give anything away for the people who haven't seen it yet but if you're contemplating watching it. DO IT! You won't be disappointed. This is the first time I've followed a book all the way to the big screen and I can honestly say it's the most beautiful film I've ever seen.

Enjoy this next one, guys.

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

I've heard Kate and Elliot fucking numerous times. Quiet lovemaking has never been their strong point but never - _never _have I actually caught them in the throes. _Not until today. _Twisting the key in the lock, I push through Kate's apartment whilst juggling my phone, car keys and a drinks holder carrying two Starbucks mocha frappuccinos, trying my damned hardest to avoid tripping over my own feet.

I catch them in my peripheral, Elliot rolling off the couch and reaching for the nearest cushion so he can cover his bare ass. _It's not his ass he should be worried about. _Kate screeches, smacks a hand over her eyes and attempts to cover her breasts with her other hand but it's to no avail. I've already seen everything. I mumble a pathetic excuse for an apology and carry on into the kitchen, tossing my keys onto the island. Well, that was mortifying. _Now you know how Kate felt when she caught you five seconds away from getting finger fucked whilst pinned to the wall. _

"Shit! I completely forgot you were coming," She tugs on the sash of her robe and runs a hand through her birds nest, her face flushed and her lips sore and swollen. "Sorry."

"Don't worry," I chuckle, handing her a tall coffee with blended milk and ice. "I'm engaged to a Grey remember? I've been there more than once."

"I know but still," Kate looks down, flushing a deep shade of red as she smiles sheepishly. Katherine Kavanagh embarrassed? _This is new. _"We must've lost track of time."

I wave her off and shrug my shoulders, flicking my cell onto loud mode just in case Christian tries calling. "You hungry?" She mumbles as she sips her drink.

"I could eat something. Want to order in?" Smirking wryly, she twirls a bedraggled strand of blonde hair around her finger.

"Unless you _want _me to cook something?"

"No I'm good," I snort. "Nothing heavy though, I've just worked out." I'm still dressed in my gym clothes to prove my point, tight pants and a tank top that sticks to me like a second skin. I've been on a total no carbs health kick for the past two weeks. For some reason I can't get the fear of being too fat for my wedding dress out of my head and it's pissing me off. I've always been healthy, but never have I been this obsessed about my weight.

Christian thinks I'm crazy. He even threatened to tape off the penthouse gym if he sees me losing too much weight, and then last night when he told me there wasn't all that much point in working out in case I get pregnant I almost had a meltdown. I know I'll get fat, but it'll be pregnant fat so it won't bother me all that much. _And I won__'__t need to fit into a super ass tight wedding dress either. _I just want to look my best for him. We'll only get one chance to do this and I don't want to look back at the best day of our lives with disgust because I hate the way I look. A few pounds off my ass and I'll be happy.

"Are you expecting me to go fucking jogging or something?" Kate points a finger at my all spandex attire with a frown.

"When was the last time you actually jogged?" I laugh.

"I don't need to." She smirks lewdly. "I have Elliot to keep me trim."

"So I've heard, _and _witnessed."

Elliot saunters into the kitchen dressed in dark jeans, a black tee-shirt and a leather jacket. Leaning in to kiss Kate on the cheek he reaches across the counter for his car keys. No-one can deny how hot he is. I can't say I pay all that much attention because of the _Adonis _I'm marrying, but tonight I'm really seeing it. I totally get why Kate's never been able to let him go, he has this serious bad boy edge and it's more than alluring. Just the way he carries himself is sexy.

"I thought you were staying in tonight?"

"I've got shit to handle at the yard. I won't be long." Kate pouts and furrows her impeccably shaped brows, wrapping her arms around her mid section. "Babe, you've had me all day. I've brushed off a fuck load of work so we could spend time together."

"Oh right. Don't bother doing me any fucking favours next time then, dick." I step backwards until I feel my ass bumping into the counter behind me, suddenly feeling the need to give them some space. I know firsthand how fiery Kate can get.

"Don't be like that. Haven't you got girly wedding shit to talk about, anyway?"

"Hey!" I jump in, shooting Elliot a mock glare. "My wedding is not girly shit I'll have you know."

"One bitching woman at a time, _please._" He backs away with his hands held up in mock surrender, shaking his head with a sly grin. "I'll be an hour. Tops."

"Are you really pissed at him?" I whisper as he slopes out of the kitchen.

"No," She snorts. "I just like fucking with him."

* * *

An hour later, we're curled up on her couch with a cheap bottle of wine and a thick fleece blanket over our legs, an old re-run of _Friends _playing in the background. Kate has her tablet on her knee, scrolling through everything she and Heather made progress with during their lunch yesterday afternoon and I'm actually impressed. For once Heather wasn't pushy or bitchy, allowing Kate to make headway with the things _I _wanted. _Maybe it__'__s just me she__'__s a complete troll around._

I try to not dwell on the fact that Elliot was naked in this very same spot not even two hours ago but it's proving somewhat impossible. The cushion still feels warm from where his ass was imprinted when I walked in and when I curl my legs underneath myself I'm almost positive I'm sat in a wet spot. _Oh, how lovely…_

We tick off the wedding favours, the cars that'll drive us to Lakewold and the final choice for the flowers. A cushion is thrown at my head when I tell Kate she doesn't need to worry about throwing me a Bridal shower. It's not that I don't want one, I just feel that three weeks is too small a time frame to plan something _Kate _style.

"Don't even try pulling that shit, Steele. That's what I'm here for?"

"That is so not what you're here for. You've already done so much,"

"And I'm not finished yet." She slaps my shin and nudges me with her foot underneath the blanket. "Seriously don't worry about it. What kind of shitty maid of honor would I be if I didn't throw you a shower?"

I grin and shrug, turning my attention back to my make shift check list. It's basically a piece of paper with scribble for handwriting, it actually looks like my five year old flower girl wrote it out but I'm a scatty bride. I've made that many changes and amendments, I gave up trying to be neat and organised almost instantly.

"Are you sure you're okay with Blake escorting you down the aisle?"

"Sure. It's not like he can walk Olivia down is it?" She shrugs her shoulder and tops up her wine glass right to the brim. "She'll be fine with Dylan."

"Will you be fine with Blake though?" I shoot her a look and lean my head on my bent elbow. "You've been _more_ than frosty with him lately, Kate."

"I'll be fine." She mutters. "I don't agree with the way he's treated Liv but what can I do? He's one of Elliot's best friends. I can't exactly be a bitch around him."

"I think you should cut him some slack. He was devastated when Olivia ended things, he really does love her, you know."

"Oh yeah," She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "He was _really _in love with her when he threw her out on her ass."

"He didn't throw her out on her ass. They broke up. When you break up with someone, you move out. Liv didn't want to be there anymore than he wanted her to be there, all they did was fuck and argue. How is that even healthy?"

"What do you think me and Elliot do all day?" She smirks and I shake my head with a loud chuckle. "I still think he's treated her like shit. It's not her fault she fell out of love with him."

"It isn't Blake's fault either. If anything, he's the victim in this whole shit storm and you know it." Kate shrugs again, stretching her arms out over her head and flexing her fingers, effectively ending the conversation. "While we're on the subject of Groomsmen, I still need to find someone for Mia."

Kate freezes mid stretch before she shifts uncomfortably and clears her throat, clucking her tongue and pushing her hair out of her face. I see her scrawling something across her page but I haven't got a clue what it is. It looks like idle doodling more than anything. What the hell was that?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She replies a little too quickly.

"Why did you freeze just now? Have you and Mia had some sort of fight?"

"No, of course not. I love Mia."

"Then what is it? And don't brush me off with some bull shit story, either."

We stare at each other for several seconds, both unwilling to back off. Eventually she throws her pen down and sits up straight, tucking her legs underneath herself as she wiggles her fingers again. I cringe when I hear her knuckles crack. "Okay. I _really _didn't want to bring this up."

"Too late for that that." I frown as my heart pummels into my stomach. Why do I get the feeling this is bad? "Just tell me."

"So you know when I left the hospital Saturday night?" I nod. "Elliot and I headed back here so I could change before meeting Ethan for dinner. Well, you know me, an hour had passed and I still hadn't found anything to wear. I really wanted that cute black jacket, you know the cropped one that makes my waist look two sizes smaller? I could have sworn it was in my closet but could I fuck find…"

"Kate, you're rambling." I deadpan. She chews on her thumbnail and puffs her cheeks out, stalling for a few seconds more before continuing.

"Ethan showed up here thinking I'd bailed on him. I totally get why considering we haven't been getting on all that great but that's not the issue." She waves a hand in the air. "I told him to come in and wait while I finished changing, that's when Mia showed up."

"Here?"

"She and Elliot had planned to have dinner with Grace and Carrick at Bellevue, I guess my apartment was as good a place as any to meet."

I rub my forehead with the pads of my fingers and release a heavy breath. "Kate, I'm struggling to see what the problem is here."

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there." I wait some more while she drains half her glass, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Elliot lost his keys, then he couldn't find his fucking cell phone. I still wasn't ready to leave so Mia and Ethan were left to their own devices." She bites down hard on her lip. "When I came back they were sitting on the couch. Drinking fucking coffee."

Silence looms over us. I bring my knees to my chest and sit up straighter as we stare each other down. "Drinking coffee?" Kate nods as her eyes widen, she bites down on her lip again and knots her fingers together in her lap. Something she only does when she's nervous. "Fucking hell! Shall we call the story in now or what? This simply cannot happen again," Her face drops, she narrows her eyes and clucks her tongue, realising I'm mocking her. "Two people in the same room drinking coffee? It's downright _scandalous_!"

"You do realise sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, don't you?" I sink back into the couch and laugh quietly, draping the fleece blanket over my thighs. "It's not about the damn coffee."

"No? What is it about then."

"They were fucking flirting, Ana."

"Mia and Ethan?" I frown.

"Nooooo. Mia and Elliot."

"What happened to sarcasm being the lowest form of wit?"

"Don't act so dense then. Of course Mia and Ethan. You should've seen them! She was practically on his damn knee and he wasn't exactly pushing her off either. They were both giggling and swatting each other's legs like horny virgins." She rolls her eyes. "It was disgusting."

"Okay, I get how that could gross you out with you all being related somehow, but I don't see why you would think this would affect me?"

"Seriously?" I nod my head. "This most definitely _does _affect you, Ana. It wasn't all that long ago he was professing his undying love for _you. _And now what? He's putting the moves on your future sister-in-law? I love my brother but even _I _think that's weird."

"It's not weird, Kate. It's a little inappropriate but it's not weird. They're both adults, they know what they're doing." She roughly scratches the top of her head and sighs heavily. "I want Ethan to move on. He deserves to be happy and Mia is a beautiful woman. He'd have to be blind to miss her."

"How do you think Christian will react when he discovers his sister's screwing the guy who tried to make a pass at his fiancée?"

"He never made a pass at me, Kate."

"As good as!" She scoffs. "He basically told you to leave Christian, Ana."

"He acted like an ass I can't deny that. I'm disappointed with him and it'll take me a long time to get over that." I sigh. "But I can't dictate who Mia dates, Kate and neither can you. Have they seen each other since then?"

"No. Well, I don't think so."

"Does Elliot know?"

"Are you kidding? He looked ready to jump him when he saw him eye fucking his baby sister. Elliot's not all that shit hot on Ethan anyway, not after what happened with you."

"That's irrelevant. What happened shouldn't cloud his opinion for _your _brother, Kate."

"Elliot and Christian are thick as fucking thieves, Ana, you know that. I'm actually surprised he hasn't told him yet."

"I hope he doesn't." I huff. "It'll be better for everyone if this comes from me, I might be able to keep him calm."

Kate nods, shuffles underneath our shared blanket and reaches up to rub her eyes. "Ana, you don't think Christian will hurt Ethan do you?" She sounds genuinely worried, so I pull her hand away from her face and squeeze it tightly.

"If he was going to hit him, it would have been that night at Canlis. Plus I'd never let him touch Ethan, Kate. What kind of friend would I be if I did?"

"A friend in your own right. I wouldn't blame you for not stopping him if he wanted to."

"Now you're just being stupid. Christian's a hot head but he isn't aggressive, not like that anyway."

Just then my cell vibrates in my lap, alerting me to a text message. I quickly turn it over and read the first line, seeing that it's from Christian my heart rate speeds up. If Elliot's gotten to him before I've had the chance I'll be seriously pissed. But when I swipe my thumb across the screen to read it, I literally sag with relief.

**You said you****'****d be home by nine? I****'****m getting lonely here without you. I****'****ve even resorted to sniffing my shirt that you insist on sleeping in, it smells like you now.  
**

I'm grinning and shaking my head as I tap out my response. Kate leans forward to spy on our conversation, twisting the screen to face her and laughing when she reads Christian's text. She'll think he's joking around but I know he isn't, I've seen him nuzzling his nose into my clothes on more than one occasion.

**Aww, is my bad boy CEO feeling all neglected? As long as you stay out of my underwear drawer I think we****'****re good. And don****'****t worry, I****'****ll be home soon.  
**

**Don****'****t tempt me. I****'****ve already fondled your bra more than once. I****'****ll be waiting for you, Mrs. Grey.  
**

He's only started calling me that since returning from New York. I'm sure he's only doing it to test the waters, but whenever I see or hear 'Mrs. Grey' my breath hitches and a lump the size of a tennis ball lodges in my throat. In three weeks that will be my name. My title. I couldn't me more ecstatic if I tried.

* * *

"What else have you been doing with this shirt?" I lift the garment to my nose and inhale sharply, the scent of Christian lingering even after I've slipped it over my head. "It smells like you?"

He smiles that beautiful boyish smile, his hair all mussed up and sexy as he sprawls out on the love seat in the TV room, dressed in sweatpants and a plain cotton t-shirt. "I wore it for a while. I _wanted _it to smell like me."

"You did?" I grin, sauntering towards him and tapping his ankle to make room for me. "Well I'm glad." Christian passes me my tea and sits up slightly so that his back is leant against the armrest of the couch, hooking his arm over the back as he looks at me with heavy eyes and a lop sided smirk.

"Are you going to tell me why you went to Kate's in your gym clothes?" My lips freeze mid blow over the rim of my cup. "And before you ask, Sawyer wasn't reporting back to me. Elliot called."

"Elliot told you what I was wearing?" He nods and rubs his fingers over his lips. "Are you pissed that I was working out again?"

"No." Christian snorts, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. "I just don't like the thought of you walking around in those fucking pants, Ana. Your ass looks fucking unreal."

"I wasn't walking around, Christian." I roll my eyes. "I only went to the coffee house and Kate's. I've been holed up in her apartment for the majority of the evening, so the only person to see my ass was my best friend."

I know he isn't actually angry at me for leaving the apartment in spandex pants and a tank top. It's no different to when I've been out running with him and Taylor, but a small part of me loves how protective and possessive he is over me. I belong to him, my body belongs to him. The knowledge of that never fails to give me a thrill. It's only when he lifts my leg into his lap to rub my feet that I recall what he's just said. Elliot. He's spoken to Elliot. _Oh fuck. _

"Did he say anything else?"

"Elliot? No, nothing important. Why?"

"No reason." I mumble quietly and sip my tea, my eyelids fluttering when he presses the pad of his thumb into my instep.

"Why don't I believe you?" I know I look guilty as hell, although I have _nothing _to feel guilty about. This isn't even my issue. "Something you need to tell me, baby?"

"If there was something I needed to tell you, I would tell you." Christian scowls and presses his knuckles into the ball of my foot. He won't drop it now. I've piqued his interest and he's always been able to tell when I'm lying. I'm a shocking liar.

"Do you want to try that again?"

"You're like a dog with a bone, you know that?" He nods his head and smirks smugly, lifting my leg to press a soft kiss to my ankle. "Kate mentioned something tonight, that's all."

"Go on."

"Ethan and Mia were at her apartment the night Henry was born. They were meeting Kate and Elliot for dinner and somehow ended up alone." Christian tenses when Ethan's name leaves my lips. His jaw clenches and I can see his chest heaving from here. "Nothing happened between them before your mind runs away with itself, but apparently they _were_ flirting."

He doesn't say anything for a good two to three minutes. His deft fingers are still working wonders on my foot and he's still yet to look at me. This is what I was worried about. I can't bear it when he closes up on me like this, I think I'd rather him scream and shout till he's red in the face. The silence is nauseating.

"He can't have my fiancée, so he's moved in on my baby sister?" His voice is deathly quiet, it's barely above a whisper but I can detect the sinister edge lingering there. "Fucker's got balls I'll give him that."

"You don't know anything's happened between them yet, Christian. Kate said they _were _only talking, just sitting a little too close that's all. I don't want you going after him."

"Who said I was going after him?" He drops my left leg and picks up my right, diverting all his attention to my other foot. "I promised you I wouldn't hit him, Ana. I don't break my promises to you."

"But that was before. What about now? I know how protective you are over Mia."

"Of course I am. She's my sister and I love her, I don't like any of the fuckers she brings home but this is Ethan. I despise him for a whole other fucking reason." He rubs his eyes and purses his lips. "I won't be able to bite my tongue if I see him with Mia, baby. Especially if I find out he's using her to get over you."

"I think we're all jumping to conclusions here. This is all based on what Kate and Elliot saw at her apartment, it's most probably just a flash in the pan."

"And what if it's not? What if she starts dating the asshole? I can't have him around my family, Ana." He bows his head and closes his eyes. I take that as my cue and crawl into his lap, straddling his thighs and cupping his face. "I just can't."

"You don't know anything yet. None of us do. Let's just wait and see what happens, okay? I'm sure it'll be nothing."

"I fucking hope so." He grumbles, cupping my derriere in his strong hands and squeezing gently. "I won't stand for that fucker being anywhere near you, Ana. I'll lose control before I allow him within three feet of you."

And somehow, I know he means every word.

* * *

I've never had family traditions. I suppose it was because I had a whore for a mother who couldn't stay married to one man for longer than five minutes. Thanksgivings were a wash out and Christmases were no better, until I went home to Ray that was. After that we made our own traditions. Lazing around on Christmas morning and refusing to get dressed before noon. We'd buy each other silly gifts and camp out in front of the TV, only moving to cook roast turkey, root vegetables and pumpkin pie. It was small and it was quiet, but it was perfect.

The Grey's on the other hand clearly lead an entirely different life. I can only begin to imagine how extravagant and lavish the holidays are for them, and it has nothing to do with their wealth either. They're all so close and tight knit, I can't see any one of them choosing to bow out on such an important tradition. Especially knowing how much having her children around means to Grace.

I watch as she busies herself in the kitchen, preparing yet another meal for her family. Ever since Kate and I came into her son's lives, she's insisted that we all meet for dinner at least once a week. Now that we have a wedding to plan it makes perfect sense, but I know she'd be more than happy to have her house full for no reason at all. Carrick supplies her with wine, kisses her cheek and offers his help every so often but she waves him off with a warm smile and a peck on the lips. It's clear to see how much he adores his wife, he dotes on her and I can only hope Christian and I have a love like this in twenty years time.

Mia's still upstairs fixing her hair. I haven't seen her yet and if I'm being honest, I'm kind of putting it off. I don't even know what I'll say to her. I won't be able to resist asking her about Ethan and I'm not all that sure I _want_ to know. Christian isn't here yet and I know as soon as he arrives, he'll be straight upstairs grilling his baby sister on her sex life. _The thought churns my stomach. _Who would actually want their brother knowing that kind of stuff?

At that moment she bounces into the kitchen, blowing on her freshly painted nails. No-one can deny just how beautiful Mia Grey is, her figure is trim yet curvaceous and her skin is flawless. Not a single imperfection in sight. Her dark hair effortlessly frames her slender face, thick and shiny with undertones of rich chocolate brown. _All _of the Grey siblings are gorgeous, anyone on the outside would think they are actually related by blood simply because of their incredible looks. They couldn't look any more different yet they're so weirdly similar, it's odd.

"I think Christian's just pulled up." She nods her head towards the door, leading to the living room window that looks out onto the driveway. "I'm sure I heard the R8."

"He's in the Audi?" Grace slides in beside me, making a start on the salad for the lasagne. "He rarely ever drives anywhere alone."

"He's been to Lakewold Gardens with Heather. We were supposed to go together but my four o'clock meeting ran late. He wanted Taylor to drive me here so that's why he has the R8."

My mouth dries when I picture him in that damn car. There's something so incredibly sexy about watching him drive, but watching him drive the Audi is on a different level entirely. He handles that car like it's his baby, and I guess in some ways it actually is. It's his toy, his pride and joy and whenever he takes it out he's practically giddy.

"Where is he now?"

"Talking to my dad I think."

I find myself leaving the kitchen and walking towards the foyer, swinging the door open and stepping out into the cool, crisp early evening air. My stilettos crunch against the gravel as I wrap my arms around myself, rubbing my skin to try and gain some warmth. It's still light out, but the breeze repeatedly hitting my bare flesh makes me shiver.

I find Christian around the corner behind the garage, leant against the hood of the R8 and talking to Carrick. _Holy fucking shit. _He's wearing jeans, a dark grey sweater and a tan coloured leather jacket that clings to his cut arms like a second skin. _And I thought Elliot looked like a bad boy in leather? _He looks like a freaking GQ model with his arms folded across his chest, his hair all unruly and sexy. All he needs is a pair of Ray-Bans framing his face and I'd be putty in his hands.

Carrick clasps Christian on the shoulder, looking down at him with a fond smile before turning around and disappearing behind the garage, no doubt heading back inside from the door in the yard. He must feel me looking at him because he lifts his head and spots me instantly - smiling at him like the love sick fool I am. A sly, salacious grin curls at the corner of his chiselled mouth as his smouldering eyes rake over me from head to toe.

Ever so slowly, he lifts one hand and curls his finger, beckoning me towards him like the seductive bastard he is. My feet move of their own accord, treading ground and crossing the driveway in record speed. _How can he do this to me time and time again? _It's like I'm drawn to him - like a moth to a flame - he reels me in every single time and I'm powerless to stop him, I don't ever _want _to stop him.

"How long have you been standing there?" Christian spreads his legs and pulls me into him, cupping the nape of my neck and dropping a soft, sensual kiss to my waiting lips.

"Not long. I like watching you." My voice is hoarse and thick with arousal, arousal for the man in front of me. His lips are hovering over mine, grazing my mouth as his tongue swipes across my lips - taunting me. "Are you coming inside?"

"In a minute." He breathes. "Right now I just want to kiss you."

"I'm not stopping you,"

His mouth closes in over mine, coaxing my lips into a hot, steamy, all consuming dance as his hands fist into the hair at the back of my head. I push into him, fisting the lapels of his jacket as we make out like horny teenagers in the middle of his parent's driveway. Christian moans into my mouth, yanking my head back so he can kiss my neck and throat. _He knows that__'__s my soft spot. _

"Okay," I pant. "This is more than kissing."

"So?"

"So, we're at your parent's house. Maybe we should wait." He lifts his head, smirks and nips my lower lip with his teeth, groping my left breast roughly.

"Are you cold?"

"Huh?" I breathe, my eyes fluttering to a close.

"Your nipples are so fucking hard." He growls into my ear. "I can feel them through your dress."

"It's because you're t…touching them. They're always hard when you touch them."

He rolls my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, teasing them into an erect frenzy before gently releasing me and shrugging out of his jacket. Draping it over my shoulders and pulling my hair out from underneath the collar.

"Damn it," I mutter.

"What?"

"I liked seeing you in this."

"Oh yeah?" He grins, tugging on the lapels and drawing me in for another kiss. "Do you have some sort of secret leather fetish I don't know about?"

"Hmm. Maybe?"

"You are one naughty girl, Anastasia Steele."

"Would you change me?"

"Not for a fucking thing."

**Christian's POV**

"Since when did I become your fucking chauffer? Where's your truck?"

"Says the guy who's carted everywhere by his bodyguard?" Elliot slides into the R8 and shuts the door, tossing his phone and keys onto the console. "It's getting valeted."

"Yeah. Looks like I'll be sure as shit sending this to the same place after you get out. Take off your fucking boots." I shift gears and pull out of my brother's construction yard, thirty minutes after the imbecile called me asking if I could pick him up. "Where's Kate?"

"At her Mom's. Quit bitching you big pussy. It's only a bit of dirt."

I offer a muffled grumble in response as I flick the radio on, _Kings of Leon _drifting through the fucking Manning has put me in a foul mood, not that I'm surprised. I told her I was more than capable of driving down to Lakewold myself but of course the bitch insisted on coming with, all I needed to do was settle the fucking payment for using the venue. Hardly a two man task.

Ana was disappointed she couldn't come too, she's only been a handful of times and I know she's desperate to go again. She looked so fucking happy walking down the brick walk - the same brick walk she'll be walking down before becoming my wife. The garden where we'll marry is beyond beautiful, it's perfect in fact. But nothing - _nothing _is more beautiful than seeing the love of my life smiling at me the way she did that day. I make a mental note to take her back at least a week before our wedding. Just us. Before all the madness starts.

"I need to ask," Elliot starts, tapping me on the arm. "What are you planning on saying to Mia? What's your approach?"

"My approach is to lock her in her fucking room until she can promise me she'll never speak to the bastard again," I tell him as I grip the steering wheel, my jaw clenching. "And then, I'll hunt Ethan fucking Kavanagh down and rip his arms off."

"Oh, nothing drastic then." Elliot rolls his eyes. "Ana will bite your balls off before you even _get _to him, Christian. Think of another fucking plan."

"What else is there? Are you suggesting we just sit back and let her date him instead? You know what that kid means for this family. Ell. What he means for my wife."

"What he means for your wife, or means _to _your wife?"

If we weren't driving at nearly 70MPH, I'd throw him out of the fucking car.

"What the _fuck _is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, don't get all testy. I didn't mean that, I just meant they were all close once. Kate told me Ana saw Ethan as the brother she never had. You can't just turn feelings as strong as that off, Bro."

"Oh yeah," I scoff. "Because he was really seeing Ana as a sister, wasn't he? Falling in love with her, pining over her, fucking other women whilst thinking about my…you know what it doesn't matter," I stop before I push myself too far. Just the mere thought of Ethan fantasising over my girl fucking sickens me. "If Mia starts something with him, he'll be around all the time. Not to mention how he'll be using our kid sister to get over Ana. Does that shit not bother you?"

"Of course it bothers me. I don't like the dick anymore than you do after what he did outside Ana's office, but he _is _my girlfriend's brother. Acting like an ass won't score me any favours, Christian."

"I'm not asking you to act like an ass. I'm just asking you to see my damn side, this bastard wants my fiancée, Elliot. He wants her and if he thinks he can get to her through Mia, he's got another thing coming."

Elliot scuttles off inside the house as soon as I pull up, telling me he needs to call Kate. My Dad must hear the unmistakable sound of the R8 humming to a stop because he sticks his head out of the garage not even ten seconds later, wiping his soiled hands on an old rag.

"What are you doing in that?"

"In what?"

"That," He points at the Audi and wags an eyebrow. He's always loved this fucking car. I planned on getting him one last year for his birthday but my mother shot me down, threatening to skin me alive if I ever followed through with it.

"I had a few errands to run. Is Anastasia inside?"

"Helping your mom," He nods. "When I offer my services I get a slap on the head, but Ana on the other hand…" He grins and shakes his head, wiping his knuckle before stuffing the cloth in the back pocket of his jeans. "I don't think I've ever seen Grace more enamoured with someone. Or _you _for that matter."

Fuck, am I blushing?

"Three weeks to go." He sucks in a breath. "How are you holding up?"

"It can't get here fucking fast enough. It hits home whenever I go over to Lakewold, I actually remember I'm getting married."

"That's what I felt like with your mother. It's like, you're aware of the commitment you're about to take but it doesn't feel real until you're standing at that alter. Watching the love of your life walking towards you. _That__'__s _when it hits home." He smiles fondly at the memory, widening his stance and folding his arms across his chest. "Anastasia…she's a sweetheart. You look wonderful together. I couldn't be anymore happier for you, Son."

The ball in my throat tightens as I swallow hard, emotion clogging my every thought. Dad slaps me on the shoulder and shoots me a smile. He always smiles, but this time it's different. It reaches his eyes. I've never doubted my father's love for me, he's always cared but I'll never forget how disappointed he was when I turned my back on him and decided to go ahead with developing my own company. He refused to acknowledge my success, even after I'd made my first million. He was bitter and albeit, a little envious. But standing here now, I can see how proud he is of me. And it's all because of my beautiful fiancée. Nothing is possible without her.

She's watching me. I can feel her. That undeniable zing is electrified whenever she's near, it's like every nerve ending in my body reacts to her presence. It's fucking crazy. I lift my head and spot her in the middle of the driveway, wearing a long sleeved, beige and black shift dress. She's so fucking gorgeous. Her hair is tucked behind her ear on one side exposing her silky, slender neck. Her make-up is minimal and her legs are tanned and smooth. _I am one lucky son of a bitch. _

Her mouth responds to mine when I kiss her, she presses her tits into my chest and when I reach down and grab the soft, fleshy globe I almost come in my pants. Her nipples could cut fucking glass. I still haven't fucked her in this car - _or on it. _Images of a naked Anastasia spread across the hood with her legs over my shoulders tease and taunt me. If we were in the garage at Escala, I'd be bringing that little fantasy to life. But we're not. So instead of ravishing the delectable little morsel in my arms, I take her hand and lead her back into the warmth of my parent's house.

If I was worried I'd have a raging boner for the majority of the evening, it sure as fuck disappears the second I spot my sister jogging up the staircase, throwing me an idle wave as she rambles down the phone. _If that__'__s that fucking Kavanagh__…_

"You go through, baby. I just need to speak with Mia."

"What are you going to do?" My sweet girl, she knows me so well. "You've got that look in your eye, Grey, and I don't like it."

"I'm not going to do anything, I promise." I reach for her face and cup her soft chin, pecking her lips with a tender kiss. "Fix me a drink and tell my mom I won't be long."

Ana nods and reluctantly lets me go, glancing over her shoulder as she sashays her sexy little ass down the hallway. I don't want her to fret over this, but at the same time something needs to be said.

Mia's bedroom is on the second floor next to Elliot's old room. I'm sure everyone expects it to be pink and full of girly shit, because that's how she comes across on a daily basis. But it couldn't be anymore different if she tried. It's the second largest bedroom in the house, of course she wanted the Master suite as soon as she hit thirteen but surprisingly my dad never relented.

It's contemporary and sleek. Black and white décor with soft grey walls, large Marilyn Munroe and Audrey Hepburn canvases decorate the space behind her bed and plush, silk cushions are scattered across the pale grey bedding. It's completely _Un-Mia _but at the same time I wouldn't expect anything less. It's clean, tidy and uncluttered. Everything my baby sister is.

I rap my knuckles against the door, slowly pushing it open when I don't hear a response. She's sat on her bed with her leg bent up as she flicks a paint brush across her toe-nails, holding a finger up when she sees me standing at the threshold of her room.

"Babe, I've gotta' shoot. I'll call you later?" _Babe? Who in the fuck is she calling babe? _"Kay…bye."

"Who was that?"

"Hello to you too, big brother. I'm well thank you, how are you?" Rolling my eyes, I bend down to kiss her on the cheek and ruffle her hair. Her responding shriek could make my fucking ears bleed. "It was Lily if you must know."

"Oh." I grunt, taking a seat on the ottoman at the foot of her bed. I never have liked that Lily bitch, way too loose and slutty for my liking. Plus, I fucking hate how she takes advantage of my sister's good nature. "Mimi, I need to talk to you."

"You do? What about?" She's ditched the nail painting now, diverting all her attention to the blackberry stuck to the palm of her hand. She doesn't even look up at me as she thrums away on the keypad, firing out message after message, one after the other.

"I kinda' need you to look at me, Mia-"

"One sec," I huff, frustrated as hell when she holds her fucking finger up at me again. _Since when did that become a thing? _"Okay, I'm all yours. What's up?"

"Are you dating Ethan Kavanagh?" _No point in skirting around the subject._ She looks up at me with wide, shocked eyes. She's probably trying to figure out how I even know about him, but deep down she won't be all that surprised. Not knowing me as well as she does. "Well?"

"Don't tell me. Elliot told you?"

"That's not the point. Just answer the question."

"Since when has it been any of your business who I date, Christian?" She petulantly folds her arms across her chest and twists to face me. "My private life is just that. Private."

"Don't get fucking smart with me, Mia. I. Want. To. Know."

"We've…_spoken_ on the odd occasion, that's all. He's a sweet guy."

Sweet guy? _Sweet guy? _I want to shake her to fucking death. My teeth grind as I drop my face into my hands, counting to ten in my head and then back again. "You've spoken? What about?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because you're my sister, and who you 'speak to' fucking concerns me." She scowls at my sarcastic finger marks but I don't give a fuck. She's purposely evading the question.

Mia purses her lips and shakes her head, shuffling up the bed and hugging a cushion close to her chest. I don't blame her for being pissed at me. I'd be pissed at me too, but she can't start something up with this kid. She just fucking can't.

"This is like Brad all over again," She starts with a breathless huff. "Why do you think I waited so long until I introduced you to him? You're totally over the top when it comes to who I date, Christian. Both you _and _Elliot. I'm not a fucking baby anymore."

"Watch your fucking language. I don't care how old you are, Mia. It doesn't change how protective I am over you, not to mention the imbeciles you bring home are beyond fucking moronic." I shake my head and take a deep breath. I should've known she wouldn't co-operate the way I wanted her to, she's a damn Grey after all. "Just tell me if you're seeing the dickhead or not? That's all I want to know."

"What's he done to offend you?"

"Nothing. I just don't like him."

"Well, what if I do?" She throws at me.

"Excuse me?" I bite back.

"What if I like him?"

"Do you?"

She shrugs her shoulders and pouts her lips. Fuck, for twenty-one she's so fucking immature. I don't know if it's because we've all babied her to the point where she can't think for herself, or if it's because she gets off on pissing me off, but the girl is a nightmare. She's spoilt, insensitive and a downright pain in the ass, but she's also sweet and funny with such a big fucking heart. I blame myself for carrying her through her adult years, she's wanted for nothing_. Look where the fuck that__'__s got me now._

"I'm not saying we're serious or anything, we just clicked. He's handsome and sweet, not to mention how he can make me laugh. I don't understand why you're so hell bent on getting this out of me, Christian. Even dad isn't this anal."

"Dad doesn't know him like I do, Mia. No-one knows him like I do."

"Excuse me? Are you hearing yourself right now? He's Kate's brother! How can _you _be the only person to know him?"

"You're not hearing me," I growl, growing more and more fucking frustrated by the second.

"You're not telling me anything! What's your big issue with him?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"I just can't," My voice is terse and stiff, barely making it's way through my gritted teeth.

I can't tell her. She wouldn't understand. Besides, Mia and Ana are so close now, what the fuck would this mean for their relationship? Would Mia hate Ana? Would she blame her for Ethan falling in love with her? Fuck, it doesn't even bear thinking about. No, I just need to keep my sister away from the jerk-off. Period. She'll get over it. I run a hand through my hair and turn to face her. She's got that devious look in her eye, the look I've grown so accustomed to over the years. The look that brings my father to his knees whenever she wants something. _I don__'__t fucking like it. _

"Well, you better find a way to be around him because I've invited him over for dinner tonight."

I literally do a double fucking take. She smirks at me with a glint in her eye, twirling a strand of hair around her long, elegant finger. My mouth dries and my breathing starts to quicken.

_Here. Ethan__'__s coming here. My parent__'__s house. Ana. _

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me. You can't just burst into _my _room and tell me who I can and cannot date. You're not my father, Christian!" She's all riled up now. This is where she reminds me so much of myself, she's stubborn and difficult. She doesn't back down and I fucking hate it. "He's coming with Kate."

"Over my dead fucking body!" I boom, jumping to my feet and moving forward so I'm towering over her. Mia actually flinches and cowers away, but her gaze doesn't waver once. "If you _think _I'm letting that bastard anywhere near this house you've-"

"I've what, Christian. You don't _own _this house remember! You can't dictate who can step over the fucking threshold!"

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that. Dad will toss the little asshole out as soon as he finds-"

"Dad already _knows._" She taunts, hissing through her teeth and clucking her tongue. "Mom too. If anything they suggested it! Maybe you should -"

I don't even let her finish. I'm too hell bent on hightailing it out of her room and barrelling down the stairs two at a time. Elliot's by the fridge, stuffing a handful of olives into his mouth as my mother bends and checks on the cooking lasagne. Ana turns to face me as soon as I burst into the kitchen, her eyes full of fear and trepidation. She can sense something's wrong, she's always been able to read me like a book. Setting her glass of Sancerre onto the island, she slowly slides off the stool and moves towards me, reaching for my face.

"Christian-"

My fingers curl around her wrist in a vice like grip before she can even make contact. She gasps and stumbles backwards slightly, rejection lancing through her veins. My stomach roils at the hurt on her face but I can't help it, I can't stand to feel her touch right now. She'll calm me down and I don't want that, I want to feel anger. I _need _to feel it.

"What's wrong, Bro." Elliot grumbles through a mouthful of food.

"Mia tells me Ethan is joining us this evening?" Anastasia tenses beside me, her lithe body growing rigid and stiff.

"Aaah-" My brother's mouth gapes open, a flash of guilt washing over his face and instantly I know he's in on it. They're all fucking in on it.

"You knew?" I spit. "You knew this entire time and you didn't fucking say anything to me?"

"Christian," Mom gasps, taking a step closer. "What on earth is wrong with you?"

"I knew fuck all!" Elliot defends himself, pushing himself off the counter with his foot. "I didn't know anything until five minutes ago. Kate told me."

"Kate knew? Did she say anything to you?" I turn to face my fiancée. Ana shakes her head and lowers her gaze to the floor, knotting her fingers together in front of her. She looks scared and upset. Upset because I'd rejected her touch and scared because I'm a completely different person right now. "Mia said it was your idea?"

"It was your father's actually. He thought It would be nice for Ethan to be here, he is Kate's brother after all. I just happened to agree with him."

"Christian, I think you need to calm down. Everyone's confused," My baby tugs on the sleeve of my sweater and tries to turn me around. "Have a drink and sit down."

"I don't want a fucking drink, Anastasia." I wretch my arm out of her hold.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey!" My mother storms forward with her hands on her hips, looking every inch the scolding parent. "I don't care who the hell you are in your world, but in this house you're _my _son and I won't tolerate that disgusting language from you, do you understand me? And show Ana some respect. In three weeks she'll be your wife. You _don__'__t _talk to your wife in such a way."

Disgust surges through me. I can only recall a handful of times where Grace Grey has reprimanded me like this, but I've never seen shame on her face like I'm seeing now. It fucking hurts. She tilts her head to the side and glances at Ana, smiling softly and nodding her head.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…" Her soft, dainty hand strokes my cheek as she hushes me, pecking my lips with a kiss that melts my heart. "I'm sorry-"

"Just calm down, please. We need to talk about this like rationale adults."

"I'm not feeling all that rationale right now, baby." I whisper in her ear, kissing her lobe and pulling her close to me. She feels so warm and small, she's so fragile. Not in strength but in weight, any sick fuck could hurt her if they wanted to badly enough. It's my job to protect her. I promised Ray I'd protect her.

"Try. For me, please?"

"Christian, they're already on their way." Elliot clasps a hand over my shoulder, squeezing gently and urging me out of Ana's hold. "I tried reasoning with Kate, really I did. She doesn't want Ethan here anymore than we do, she was damn near hysterical when I called her."

"Baby, I don't think there's an awful lot we can do. Maybe we should just brush this aside for now."

"Brush this aside? Ana, how the hell are we supposed to do that? Are you seriously suggesting we just sit back and eat fucking dinner with him like nothing's even happened?"

"What else are we supposed to do exactly?"

"Okay, that's enough." Mom taps my shoulder and tugs on Elliot's arm, pulling him away from me the best she can. That's one thing I've always loved about my mother. Even when she's trying to be stern and domineering, she's still so sweet and lovely. She hasn't got an evil or malicious bone in her body. "Stop with the whispering and talk to me. I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't want you involved, Mom."

"I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"

"There are things…Issues," Elliot cuts in for me, folding his arms across his broad chest. "Issues between Kate and Ethan, mom. We all think that it would be more than awkward to all be in the same room, right now. Maybe we should reschedule?"

"No."

All four heads turn to the left, catching the tornado that is Mia Grey as she stands in the doorway. Hip cocked against the jamb, eyes narrow and venomous, looking more than pissed. _Tough shit, Sissy. The feeling__'__s mutual. _

"Don't let them brainwash you, mom. They just don't like Ethan."

"Stay _out _of this, Mia."

"Or what?" She makes a beeline for me, stopping short of Ana as my girl wraps her arm around my waist, squeezing my hip through my sweater.

"I don't get you, Christian. Or _you_," Mia points a perfectly manicured finger at Elliot who actually has the gall to look dumbfounded. He'll be hiding behind mom next. "I don't know what you think you know, but Ethan and I aren't dating. That isn't why I invited him here tonight."

"No? Then what is the fucking reason?"

"He's Kate's brother!" She takes another step forward, curling her lavender coloured toes as her arms flail to the side. "Kate is a part of our family now just like Ana is. Don't you think we should start including him? Kate and Ethan are really close, mom. Don't listen to these two idiots, they aren't having issues at _all._"

Mom rubs the tips of her fingers across her forehead, looking as confused as she no doubt feels. She's got stories coming at her from all different directions. Who the hell is she supposed to believe? I'm still so fucking angry with Mia, she stirred the shit even though she _knows _I have an issue with Ethan. Yet at the same time, I completely believe everything she's just said.

My sister may be spoilt and careless sometimes, but she loves fiercely. Her family are everything to her and I have no doubt in my mind that if she knew the real truth behind my hatred for Kavanagh, she'd be on my side completely. She'd hate herself for putting Ana in this awkward as fuck situation, and she'd hate herself for hurting me even though right now it's completely unintentional. She thinks I just don't like Ethan because the fucker dared to move in on her.

Is she right about Kate being part of this family? Absolutely. Just because she's not becoming a Grey anytime soon doesn't make her any less family. Elliot loves her more than he's ever loved anyone. My mom thinks the world of her and dad's always telling me how much he admires her spunk and tenacious soul. Not to mention she's Anastasia's best friend. They're more like fucking sisters. She's included every which way.

Which makes Ethan included. Kate may be on Ana's side when it comes to his unrequited love for her, but he _is_ her brother and I know first hand how fucking strong that bond is. I don't know what I'd do if Anastasia didn't click with Mia and Elliot, it would make my life so undeniably difficult. Which makes me realise just how much strain I must be adding to Kate and Elliot's relationship. How many fucking arguments have they had over this? How often do they come to blows? It's sickening. This whole situation is fucking sickening.

Ana is mine. She's mine. She belongs to _me. _I know that, she knows that. Maybe it's about time Ethan Kavanagh knows that.

"Mom I'm sorry. Mia's right, I'm acting like an idiot and I shouldn't be. He's Kate's family, which makes him our family." Bile rises as the words leave my mouth, burning the back of my throat. "He can come to dinner."

Dainty fingers entwine with mine, stroking my knuckles back and forth as Ana presses her body into mine. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to. She's simply letting me know she's here for me and I couldn't be more fucking grateful. She knows I'm bullshitting through my teeth, I have no genuine desire to be involved in anything _Ethan _related, but at the same time she understands why I'm doing it. Mia isn't the only one who loves fiercely.

"Do you mean that, Christian?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I owe you an apology, Mimi. I should've never spoken to you like that."

My sister leaps forward, wrapping her arms around my neck as she embraces me tightly. Ana moves to step out of the way but I don't let her, keeping our hands tightly locked as I reciprocate with a one-armed hug, kissing Mia on the cheek before she bounces back upstairs to change.

"Are you okay?"

I smooth my girl's hair out of her face and kiss the tip of her nose, stroking small circles on her lower back as she runs her hands up and down my leather clad biceps. "I will be. I'm sorry for snapping at you, baby. I was an asshole."

"Stop it." She leans up to kiss me, her lips warm and soft. "I'm really proud of you for stepping up like that, it couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't." I murmur. "But this has to stop somewhere, Ana. Too many people are involved." She nods her head and steps back, stretching her hand out for me to take.

"Set the table with me?"

I'd sweep up horse shit if it meant being with her. To feel her close to me. I push myself off the breakfast bar and take her hand but my mom has other ideas as she calls me back, asking for a moment alone. Kissing Ana on the cheek, I tell her to go on without me before closing the kitchen door. I know exactly what's about to happen.

"Care to explain?" She wipes her hand on a cloth and cocks an arched eyebrow, her lips pursing into a disappointed pout.

"I thought I had?"

"I don't mean that. I heard your mumbled excuse for an explanation but I want the truth. What do you have against Ethan, Christian?"

"Nothing. I don't even know him that well, mom. I was just being-"

"Don't lie to me. It's insulting."

"I'm not lying to you." God I sound pathetic even to my own ears. I feel like a teenager getting scolded for staying out past his curfew. "I promise you, mom, I'm not lying to you. Elliot told me Ethan and Mia were maybe thinking about starting something up and I don't know…I guess I just flipped."

She's staring me down, gazing right through me and while I'm doing my best to remain contrite, my mother isn't stupid. It'll take her all of five seconds to figure out something's wrong when we all sit down for dinner, pretending to be one big, happy fucking family. "She's still my baby sister. I'm still protective over her."

"And that's all it is?"

"Yes."

She doesn't believe me, I know she doesn't. I can see it in her eyes. But right now I haven't got the time nor energy to care, because less than forty seconds later Gretchen pushes the kitchen door open, announcing the arrival of Kate and Ethan at the front entrance.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three - Under Control.

* * *

Anastasia's POV

I can hear them in the hallway, the echo of their voices resounding off the walls. _They're here. _My chest constricts and my palms clam up, blood rushing from my toes to my face. Christian and Ethan are in the same house, and we're supposed to pretend like nothing's happened. _Lord help us. _

I silently count to ten, breathing long and deep through my nose when the double doors to the dining room push open ajar, a head of blonde hair slowly emerging - reminding me somewhat of a toddler creeping somewhere they shouldn't be. Kate leans her back against the door once inside, gnawing on her lower lip as her eyes bore holes into the side of my skull.

She looks phenomenal in her all black ensemble. Dark jeans, six inch Louboutins and a cute faux leather jacket that flares at the waist. _The cropped one that makes her look two sizes smaller. _Looks like she found it. Her hair is pin straight, curling at the swell of her breasts and her make-up looks gorgeous. Perfect, porcelain complexion with winged eye-liner and a swipe of ruby-red lipstick. Only Kate could make dinner with the Grey's look like a catwalk.

"I don't even know where to start,"

"Did you know?" I don't want to make accusations but I need to know. Kate is much like Christian. They both have this overwhelming need to protect me, effectively shielding me from the truth and leaving me in the dark completely oblivious to the truth. If she tells me she knew all along, I'll be more than disappointed.

"God no, Ana, I swear I didn't know." She pushes herself off the door and takes two steps forward. "The jerk was on the X-Box the entire time ignoring me. He only said something when I made a move to leave. I tried to reason with him honestly I tried, but in true Ethan style he didn't fucking listen to me."

"Who invited him?"

"Mia I think," She huffs. "But when Grace and Carrick caught on I think they encouraged it. I'm not blaming them though, this isn't their fault."

"I know," I sigh heavily and flop into the chair at the head of the table. "Christian lost it, Kate. I thought he was going to tell Grace everything."

"Did he?"

Her eyes widen, clearly as disturbed by the thought as I am.

"Almost. But no, he didn't." My fingers toy with the edge of a folded napkin, my eyes trained on their every move before I'm jumping out of the chair as if it's just caught fire. "Where _is _Christian?" I ask her, remembering that Ethan's somewhere in this house.

"He wasn't out there when we came in. He's probably talking himself out of _not _hitting my brother."

"I need to go to him,"

I'm out the door before she can even blink, the thought of Christian coming face to face with Ethan makes my head spin to the point where I fear I could collapse straight onto the marble beneath me. The hallway is deserted, the faint whiff of Mia's perfume the only evidence that someone was out here. My heels click against the floor as my heartbeat pounds through my ears. _I think I'm going to be sick. _

I want to sprint into the living room but my feet are unwilling to cooperate. It's like when you're trapped in the middle of a nightmare. You're being chased and all you want to do is run, your mind is screaming at you to run away as fast as you can before you're bludgeoned to death but you can't. Your feet are stuck to the ground and no matter how close they get or how terrified you feel, you just can't move.

The unmistakable croon of Frank Sinatra sounds from the room at the end of the hallway, the door wide open as laughter hits me in the face like a damn train. I know I can't make this obvious, I'm shitting kittens but if anyone sees me like this then it's game over. I press my back against the wall near the entry way and take a long deep breath before painting on the biggest smile I can muster, deciding that it's now or never. _Fake it until you make it. _

Christian is the first person I see. He's standing next to the grand piano, nursing a tumbler of something strong as he stares out the French doors and onto the deck. I can see how tense he is from here, the urge to touch him immediately takes over but I don't even get within three feet of him before Elliot's on me, curling his fingers around my arm and shaking his head. _Why doesn't he want me near him? _

"Not yet. Give him a minute," He's smiling as he talks, masking our conversation and making it look like banter between friends instead of what it really is. I fake a chuckle and nod my head, grinning as I make my way towards the centre of the room.

Grace is seated beside Carrick, sipping on a glass of wine as her husband whispers something in her ear. I know he's in here, I can feel his fucking eyes on me but I refuse to give him the satisfaction by so much as even glancing in his direction. This is torture already. All I want to do is be with Christian but his distance tells me that's not what he wants right now. Deep down I know he's not angry with me, he's just hurt and pissed off and creating space is his way of dealing with it.

I shift in my seat, turning my attention to Elliot and striking up a conversation about anything and everything. We could be talking about the Seahawks for all I care, I just need a diversion. I don't need anyone talking to me right now. Mia's right beside me, giggling and cooing in awe as Ethan talks about his trip to Mumbai. _It makes me feel nauseous. _Why is he here? Why didn't he just say no? This isn't the guy I used to know. _He _wouldn't do this, he would never put me in such a difficult and awkward position. Not only that, but does he have a fucking death wish? He's the only person I've ever witnessed crossing Christian Grey as brazenly as he is here and now. My fiancé's right. _He's got balls._

Elliot humours me, catching on to my evident discomfort but when I hear Ethan calling my name my entire body seizes up. I swallow hard and turn a little on the spot, fully aware that he's talking to me but not wanting to physically look at him one tiny iota.

"Ana? Ethan's talking to you," Mia flashes her infamous smile, totally oblivious to the shit storm surrounding her.

"Sorry," I manage to get past the lump in my throat. "What was that?"

"I said you look good. You lost weight?"

He lifts the goblet of wine to his lips, taking a sip as he eyes me over the rim. It's not dirty and it's not sleazy but it makes my skin crawl all the same, I see Christian moving in the corner of my eye, no doubt enraged that Ethan has dared to even breathe in my direction. I'm smiling but on the inside I'm a shrivelled bag of nerves. I can't ignore Ethan but I have no desire to talk to him. I'm still so hurt over what happened the last time we were around each other, he's a different person to me now yet here he is. Sitting in my in-law's living room and drinking their wine. _Flirting with their daughter. _

"Umm no, not really." I respond quietly. "A little maybe,"

"She's been working out for the wedding. Not that she needs to," Mia smiles brightly at me then Ethan, smoothing a hand over the mauve skirt of her dress.

"No, she really doesn't. You're perfect as you are."

That's when I feel him. He's must've made Elliot move at some point because now he's next to me, squeezing my shoulder as he settles into the corner of the couch, stroking the exposed strip of skin at the nape of my neck. Christian's staking his claim. I know it, he knows it and judging by the sour look on Ethan's face? Ethan _knows _it. I don't fight him, if anything it takes me a nanosecond to melt into his touch. _I need him. _

My shoulders sag with relief when Carrick questions Ethan about his plans for college. I don't think I could have handled another second of that. I entwine my fingers with Christian's and shoot him a small smile. I fully expect a blank expression or a scowl so I'm more than surprised when he winks at me, lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. We sit gazing at each other, stroking one another's skin until Gretchen announces dinner.

* * *

"Ana, sit next to me."

I want to laugh at Kate's immature way of making sure I'm next to her at the table. She all but tackles Christian to the ground but nothing, _nothing _will keep him away from me for the remainder of the evening. Not that I even _want_ to be away from him.

"Babe, what the fuck?" Elliot booms. "Why are you over there?"

"You sit with Ethan. We need to talk girl stuff over here," Kate glares at her boyfriend, narrowing her eyes as she dares him to argue. I know exactly what she's doing. She's trying to keep Ethan away from my end of the table and I couldn't love her more for it if I tried.

Christian doesn't argue either, he's caught onto Kate's plan just as quickly as I have so instead of causing a scene, he smoothly slides into the seat on my right side and takes my hand, linking our fingers together tightly. I don't know how he's physically doing this. He despises Ethan with every fibre of his being so sitting at this table must be sheer torture for him. Something tells me he's only doing this for Mia though. I don't know what was said when he talked to her earlier but judging by the way he held her in the kitchen before Kate and Ethan arrived, he's hurting for her.

Kate tries her best to engage in conversation with me but I can't relax. My eyes remain fixated on the plate of lasagne in front of me but it's not because I'm enjoying it, I can't even taste it. My movements are mechanical. Eat, drink, smile in all the right places. I didn't realise it would be this difficult. I thought when the time came to face Ethan again I would be able to just move on and forget any of this ever happened. I couldn't have been anymore wrong or naïve about the entire situation. Christian's just as tense, he hasn't let go of my hand once but he's as pensive as I am.

I don't know why I glance up but when I do, Grace is looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I swallow hard and muster up a smile but she sees right through me, mouthing something but I can't make out what. _Shit, does she know? _I straighten in my seat and square my shoulders, pushing my hair away from my neck. Christian runs his thumb over my knuckles and pulls my hand into his lap. It's like he can sense my discomfort. I feel trepidation oozing out of me in waves and the ball in my throat lodges.

I do a quick once over around the table, glancing at everyone in turn but thankfully everyone seems oblivious. I don't know how though. I don't think Christian and I have uttered more than three words during the entire dinner, surely they're picking up on _something. _I catch Ethan's eye as I land on Mia. He smiles softly and while part of me wants to reciprocate, I just can't. I hate him for doing this to me, knowing full well I wanted space from him until his feelings for me eventually waned.

No. He's doing this on purpose. Does he want Christian to snap in front of his family? Does he want _me _to snap? And what the fuck is he doing with Mia? I haven't looked in their direction but I can hear everything, she's laughing and giggling at everything he says and he's doing nothing to discourage her. I think he actually squeezed her hand at one point.

"Will you be joining the boys for Christian's bachelor party, Ethan?" Carrick asks innocently, reaching for the salad and piling another helping onto his plate.

"Nothing's been decided yet, dad." Christian mutters, frustration evident in his voice. "That's if I even have one."

"You don't want a bachelor party?" Mia shrieks in disbelief. "How is that even normal? You're getting married. _Married._"

"Yes, Mia, I am aware."

"You're having a bachelorette right, Ana?" I look up, clearing my throat as I gently place my fork down. I don't think I've even eaten half of what's there but now all the attention is on me, I couldn't eat another bite if I tried.

"Umm. I guess so."

"Of course she is," Kate beams brightly. "It's tradition."

"Mia's right, son." Carrick jumps in. "I thought you were all set on the idea?"

"I'm entitled to change my mind, aren't I?"

"Don't worry, dad." Elliot slaps Carrick's shoulder and offers him a very forced yet a very _Elliot _smile. "I've got it covered. I'll make sure he has one he'll never forget."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Grace frowns. "Just promise me the night won't end up with my son naked and tied to something."

"Which son, mom?" Elliot grins.

"Somehow I know it isn't you I should be worried about."

"No-one's getting naked," Christian murmurs, shooting Kate a warning glare. He's thinking about strippers, I can see straight through him. "You don't need to worry, mom."

"I vote a spa day," Mia raises her hand and tilts her head to the side, bouncing her leg excitedly. "That must be please you, Christian, surely?"

"Whatever Ana wants she can have. I draw the line at strippers though." _See, told you. _Christian reaches into his jeans and pulls his phone out, frowning as he glances at the screen and presses a button.

"Everything okay?" I whisper.

"Fine, baby. It's Ros but she can wait." He picks up his fork again, stuffing the phone back into his pocket but it's vibrating again before he can wrap his lips around the pasta covered tines. I hear a muffled 'fuck' as he pushes his chair back and rises, leaning down to kiss my cheek chastely. "I'll be two minutes."

Grace smiles and winks at her son as he briskly stalks out of the dining room, barking into the receiver before he's even at the door. I reach for my wine and take a long sip when Ethan's eyes lock with mine, completely unnerving me. I can't remember ever feeling this uncomfortable before in my life. I'm surrounded with people I love yet all I want to do is run out of this room and never look back.

One minute passes then two. I find myself glancing over my shoulder at the door expecting Christian to walk through at any minute but he doesn't. _Should I go to him? What if something's wrong at work? _My fingers knot in my lap as my teeth sink into my lower lip. I'm that dazed and out of it, I even smile at Gretchen as she clears my plate and refills my wine glass. She looks as surprised as I feel.

"Are you okay?" Kate leans in to whisper in my ear, reaching for my hand underneath the table.

"I'm fine." I lie. "I just need the bathroom, that's all."

I try my hardest to remain calm and nonchalant but as soon as my feet step over the threshold I'm jogging down the hallway, taking the stairs two at a time. My legs literally give way as soon as the bathroom door closes and I sink to the floor with my head in my hands, breathing heavily.

I don't even need the fucking bathroom but I couldn't physically stand that atmosphere for a second longer. Why the hell does he insist on staring at me like that? Is he deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable? If so then it's working.

I splash my face with cold water and run damp fingers through my hair, staring at my reflection in the mirror as I reach for a folded towel in the corner of the vanity and gently pat my forehead dry. I want nothing more than to find Christian and get the hell out of here but I don't know how we can without making a scene. Grace already thinks something's wrong but even if she didn't, I couldn't do that to his family without a reasonable explanation.

I don't know how long I stay in the bathroom for, but I'm sat on the toilet with my head in my hands when I hear a light rap on the door, startling the shit out of me. I quickly scramble to my feet and flush the chain, twisting the faucet on for effect as I smooth my hands over my dress and fix my hair. I'm practically praying for Christian to be on the other side of this door but my hope is soon cut short.

"What do you want?"

"I needed to check you're okay. You've been gone a while," He leans against the door jamb and shoves his fists into his pants pocket as he fixes me to the spot with his cool stare. "_Are _you okay?"

"What the fuck do you care?" I spit, shoving at his chest as I push past him. "Why are you even here, Ethan?"

"I wanted to see you. I…" He pauses and bows his head, his lips pressing into a hard line. "I've missed you."

"I told you I needed space." I completely ignore his previous statement and fold my arms across my chest. "Or don't you remember the last conversation we had?"

"Of course I do. It's all I can think about, Ana. I fucking hate the way we left things."

"Don't blame me for that,"

"I don't." He grumbles, taking a step towards me but I hold my hand out to stop him.

"And don't blame Christian either. He's done nothing wrong."

Ethan's eyes darken as I mention my fiancé. I can literally _see _the ire coating his green orbs and it shifts a part of me I didn't even know existed. Since when did he become that guy? We used to mock those guys and now he's one of them? "I beg to differ."

"Don't start." I huff. "I don't even know why I'm even up here giving you the time of day,"

"I think we both know why, Ana." He takes another step forward but this time I'm too paralysed to stop him. I don't want him anywhere near me but what he says next freezes my blood, fixing me to the spot. "You've missed me just as much I've missed you."

"Excuse me?" I choke. "You're delusional, Ethan. When will you realise you're not what I want. You never have been."

"He doesn't make you happy, Ana." I slap his hand away when he reaches in to touch my face, recoiling in disgust. "He controls you. He belittles you. I saw as much tonight."

"Again, excuse me?"

"The way he was holding onto you downstairs?" He grimaces. "You're not a fucking dog. Next thing you know you'll be on a leash and then what? You become his trophy wife?"

I hate him. I fucking _hate _him. How _dare _he talk to me like this? He's brazenly insulting the man I love and what's even more disgusting, I'm stood here taking it like the moron I am. How many more people will openly drag my relationship through the mud?

"I'm marrying him because I love him. I'm not prepared to become his trophy anything, that isn't why we're doing this. Not that it's any of your fucking business."

"What was with all the hostility downstairs then? Ana, you could barely even look at me."

"Exactly! I couldn't look at you because the sight of you _repulses _me, Ethan. You used to make me so happy, but now all I can think about is how you tried to fuck over my relationship."

"What relationship? You barely even know him."

"I know enough. And I know I love him more than I've ever loved anything or anyone in my life. What part of that can't you understand?" He bows his head in what I hope is shame. "Christian loves me."

"I love you,"

"Okay, that's enough. I'm leaving now." I turn to leave but a strong hand curls around my bicep, pulling me back. I shove at his chest as hard as I can and he stumbles backwards slightly. The feel of his skin on mine is like a hot branding iron burning into my flesh. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Why won't you just give me a chance, Ana? You're so fucking determined to push me out of your life like I meant fuck all to you when we both know that isn't true. We have a connection. You know it."

"Maybe we did once but it was never like that between us. I looked at you like a brother, I _trusted _you like a brother and you've gone and fucked it all up. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want you."

"And Mia? Do you want Mia, too? Or are you just using her?"

"It's not like that." He actually has the decency to look embarrassed.

"No? What _is _it like then? Because I'm struggling to understand what the hell it is you're doing with her."

"I like her. She's a nice girl."

"Nice? Since when did you ever want _nice_. And what the fuck happened to you wanting me? Do you want both of us or something?"

"Look, I'm not trying to be a dick here, okay. I like Mia, really I do but-"

"But what?"

"She isn't you. No-one is." Oh dear Lord give me strength. _Please _give me fucking strength.

"Ethan,"

"I love you. I want _you. _Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, baby."

"Well, that's just tough shit because you and me," I wildly wave a hand in between our bodies and snort loudly. "will never happen."

"You don't-"

"_Don't _tell me what I mean and what I don't mean. I want nothing more than for you to walk out of this house but I would never do that to Kate. Or Mia. For some unbeknown reason she likes you and I refuse to be the person who exposes you for what you really are."

Ethan takes another step forward and reaches for me but I move as far away from him as I possibly can without falling down the stairs. I don't want him touching me.

"So this is what we're going to do. I'll walk down those stairs and in about five minutes you'll follow. We're not going to make a scene and nothing that's been said here will be repeated. I fucking hate you for dragging Mia into this but there's nothing I can do about that, so you need to handle this with grace and respect. Understand?"

"Ana,"

"_Do _you understand?"

"Yes." He murmurs quietly.

"I don't know what your intentions are with Mia but if I ever find out you've hurt her or used her, it won't be Christian you'll need to worry about, it'll be me. Got it?" He nods his head once and folds his arms across his chest. "And you need to stop dragging Kate into this and making her feel like shit because none of it is her fault."

"I haven't-"

"Stop interrupting me. Just man the hell up and own up to your mistakes before you lose the one person who continues to stand by you despite all the shit you put her through." I spin on my heel and grip the rail firmly, placing one foot in front of the other.

"Oh and Ethan," I glance over my shoulder a final time. "I'm not your fucking baby."

* * *

Christian's POV  


"I've already been away for longer than I should have been, Ros. I'm getting married in three fucking weeks."

"I appreciate that, Christian but what the hell do you want me to do about it? These assholes aren't fucking budging and they've already made it clear that I'm just the little woman. They only want you."

"I don't give a fuck." I pinch the bridge of my nose and balance my phone between my ear and shoulder blade, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and twisting the cap off. "Since when have you let shit like that bother you? You're usually so quick to wipe the floor with chauvinist assholes like Brooks."

"Don't you think I've already tried that? I don't particularly enjoy running to you like a little fucking bitch, Christian but I'm all out of ideas."

Gretchen hovers close to me, bending forward and flashing her cleavage as she swipes a wet cloth over the breakfast bar. _I knew I should have taken this to dad's office. _I scowl at her with disgust and turn away, resisting the urge to fire her for acting like a provocative little slut.

"If I liked dick I'd even try fucking him if I thought it would make him sign. Don't tell Gwen I said that."

"Well, if that's the case then he doesn't want me, does he? Surely you can fucking think of something, Ros. You're usually all over this shit."

"So are you," She bites back. "I get that you're all loved up now and I'm happy for you, seriously I am,"

"I'm sensing a but here," I take another swig of water and pace the kitchen floor when I realise Gretchen is no longer trying to whore herself out in front of me.

"I don't want you taking your eye off the ball, Christian."

The old me would lose his shit and tell her that I don't give a fuck what she wants but I'm not that person anymore. Ros may work for me but she works fucking hard and I could never throw that back in her face, not only that but she's my friend. She's a good friend and knowing Ros the way I do, she's only stepping forward because she's concerned.

"And I won't - Anastasia may have me by the balls but I'd never let shit slip, you know that." I hear a heavy sigh. "Look, I'm not doing this to be difficult but I can't be away from Ana unnecessarily. Fly the bastards in on the jet, I'll put them up in whatever fucking hotel they want. I'll even hire live in strippers for the week if it'll keep them sweet. " Hiring a private sex service isn't usually my style but I'll willingly try anything to get the cocksuckers to Seattle. "Maybe they need reminding who the fuck owns them here."

"What if they don't agree?"

"Then we'll think of a plan B. If push comes to shove, I'll fly to fucking Denver but I'll be taking Ana with me."

Ana won't come. I'm sure as shit on that one but I refuse to be away from her for more than twenty-four hours. She's planning our wedding down to the very last detail and I'd feel like fucking shit if I had to leave her again, I promised I'd be in this with her every step of the way. I need the bastards to meet me halfway here, we're already treading on eggshells around Brooks but until Anastasia and I return from our honeymoon in six weeks I'm literally powerless.

"I'll arrange a conference call for tomorrow morning, first thing. I'm guessing you'll want to be there?"

"Of course." I growl. I may be more placid since meeting my fiancée but I'm not a fucking dickhead. I won't be made to feel like the sloppy shit in my own company. "I'll see you at 7am sharp."

Shit, that was a long fucking two minutes. I toss my empty water bottle into the trash and drag myself back to the dining room. With any luck they'll be on desert now which means it won't be long till' I can take Ana the hell away from here and Ethan Kavanagh.

It takes me at least twenty seconds to realise what the fuck is wrong with this picture. Mom tells me Ana has excused herself to use the bathroom but when I sit down and reach for my freshly filled wine glass I notice Ethan isn't here either. My blood runs cold and my fingers tighten around the crystal stem. If Ethan isn't here then where the fuck is he?

"How long has she been gone?" I whisper to Kate, leaning in as far as I can without looking obvious. Everyone else is already halfway through chocolate and raspberry tortes which pleases me somewhat, after coffee I'm getting us the fuck out of here.

"About ten minutes." Kate whispers back.

"And Ethan?" Her face pales as she blinks momentarily, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Five minutes give or take."

Five minutes. That's five minutes of alone time that fucker has been able to get with my girl and if it wasn't for my mother and sister sitting within ten feet of me I'd be ripping him from limb to fucking limb.

"I'm sorry." Kate whimpers. "I guessed that he was going to look for her but I didn't know what to do without looking obvious."

"If he's touched her," My voice trails off, unwilling to finish that sentence so instead I throw my napkin onto the table and push my chair back. "Excuse me again. I'm going to see what's keeping Anastasia."

"She did look a little pasty come to think of it," My dad counters. "I hope she isn't coming down with anything this close to the wedding."

"I'm sure she's fine." _But that little fucker won't be when I get my hands on him. _

The house is quiet.- too quiet. I check the bathroom at the end of the hall but it's empty so I carry on upstairs to the first floor. My feet hit the top step when I hear Ana's strained voice as she warns the person she's with to keep away from her. I instantly recognise the second voice as Ethan's and it takes every ounce of strength I have to resist pounding the bastard's face in until it's no longer recognisable. _I swear to God if he's touched her…_

Part of me wants to finish walking up these stairs but the other part of me - the bigger part of me needs to stay right where I am because something tells me Ana doesn't need my help. She remains strong, setting Ethan straight the best she can but when I hear him professing his fucking love for her I almost lose it. I've always known how he feels about her. The asshole is head over heels in love with my future wife and if it didn't sicken me before, it sure as hell sickens me now.

What does he think will happen here? Is he expecting Ana to fall into his arms and leave me? Does he think she'll call off our wedding and move out of Escala? I know it'll never happen, but my knees physically wobble as the scenario runs through my mind. _She's mine, she's mine, she's mine._

I take a step backwards and drop down three steps, enough for me to keep well hidden yet near enough so I can hear everything that's being said.

"I love you. I want _you_. Nothing will change how I feel for you, baby."

My fingers tighten around the hand rail and my teeth grind together almost painfully. I knew it. I fucking _knew _it. Why the fuck did I even agree to letting this asshole within an inch of my family? Everything was screaming at me to keep him at arms reach but the more rationale, reasonable part of me gave in. I love the affect my fiancée has had on my life but sometimes, just _sometimes _I wish I could be the asshole I once was.

I mean look at me now. Hiding behind a corner and letting the woman I love handle this all by herself. Don't get me wrong, I still want to smash the fucker's face in but instead of jumping in fists first I'm remaining calm and collected. _That won't be lasting much longer if Ana isn't back in my arms soon, though. _

Silence surrounds me in waves and my chest constricts as I start to fear the worst, but the familiar sound of stilettos against the stairs thumps through my ears before my girl barrels into me and stumbles backwards. I catch her by the arms, pulling her close and dragging her down the stairs to an isolated corner at the end of the hall. She's breathing heavily, the swell of her breasts rising and falling as her beautiful blue eyes scan my face.

"Did you hear all of that?"

"Some." I thread both hands into her hair, tilt her face up and meld our mouths together. I kiss her with all the love I feel for her right in this moment and I don't stop until I'm completely breathless. I pepper feather light kisses over her closed eyelids when I finally pull away and tuck her hair behind her ears. "Are you okay?"

"Surely I should be the one asking you that?"

"Did he touch you?"

"He tried but I pushed him away. I should've known he'd follow me."

"I want to fucking kill him," I spit through clenched teeth. "I want to rip him apart, Ana."

"I'm proud of you for refraining." She holds my face between her perfect little hands and leans up to plant as soft, tender kiss on my lips. "I kinda' needed to do that alone."

"I know. That's why I stayed down here, even if it was fucking torture." Ana buries her nose into my neck and inhales deeply, nuzzling my throat as she kisses my jaw. "Do you want to go?"

"No. It's like I told Ethan upstairs, I could never do that to Grace and Carrick without reasonable explanation. Tonight's already been one big mess."

"What about him?" I tip my chin towards the staircase in disgust.

"I think he gets it now. Well, he definitely gets it more than he did before." She links our fingers together and lifts my hand, rubbing her thumb over the finger where my wedding band will sit in less than three weeks. "I want him to see that we're not willing to hide away like we're the guilty parties in all this. That's what he wants."

"I can't make this a regular thing though, Ana. This is as far as it goes with him." I close my eyes and lean into her touch as she palms my cheek, tracing my lower lip with the pad of her thumb. "I need to tell Mia the truth."

"Really?"

"You've seen what she's like with him, baby. If we don't intervene she'll fucking fall in love with him. I know my sister and I know how easily she falls for flowers and bullshit." I can see the wheels turning in her head as she bites down on her lip, her eyes falling to my own mouth. "She won't blame you, Ana."

"Sure about that?" She sighs.

"I'm positive. She'll blame me more than she'll blame you."

"I don't want her to blame anyone, Christian. The only person in the wrong here is Ethan, and he's just walking around smelling of fucking roses." She rubs a hand over her forehead and releases a heavy breath. "I can't believe it's come to this."

"You sure you don't want to go home?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Come on, let's head back down before shit gets obvious."

* * *

My plan to get the fuck out of here is thwarted once my dad suggests drinks in the media room after dinner. Gretchen prepares a cheese board along with a tray of mixed fruit and Grace circles the room with a bottle of Prosecco and a bright smile, playing the perfect hostess.

I don't know why, but a small part of me thought Kavanagh would have the decency to make his excuses and piss off but he doesn't. Choosing to lick my dad's ass instead whilst manhandling my fucking baby sister like the oaf he is. _Fuck, I fucking hate him. _Anastasia distracts herself with Kate on the corner sofa, flicking through a tacky magazine filled with women's fashion and blow job tips. I choose to remain secluded, scrolling through unread emails on my phone and playing a light tune on the piano. Elliot tries drawing me into a conversation with dad about the Mariners game but I can't fucking concentrate with Ethan staring me down every five seconds. He's deliberately trying to goad me into a fight and while I want nothing more than to make him bleed, I won't fall for it. I won't be the bad guy in this colossal fuck up.

Still nursing the same tumbler of Armagnac, I kiss the tip of Ana's nose and head outside through the French doors. My feet pad along the wooden deck until I reach the garden furniture on the patio around the back of the house. How many nights have I spent out here alone? I've fucking lost count.

I'd often hide out here when I was a teenager, either needing space from my dad or because I'd started a brawl with Elliot. He would have a different chick out here every weekend, sucking him off while our parent's were upstairs putting Mia to bed. I remember the time he snuck Madison Perry in, the only girl he confessed to fucking more than once through high school and she ended up crawling into bed with me completely naked. She was hot but completely repulsive all at the same time, she kissed my shoulder blades and reached around to fist my cock but I caught hold of her wrist before she could make contact, twisting her arm back and making her cry out.

Oddly enough it just turned the bitch on more and before long she was practically begging me to fuck her, saying Elliot would never need to know. I didn't even bother throwing her out. I just threw on a pair of sweatpants and left her naked in the middle of my bed, leaving her to deal with the fallout while I hid out here with a bottle of dad's bourbon. I'd like to say his taste in women improved over the years but it fucking didn't, not until Kate that was.

"It's Ana isn't it?" I jump in the dark, my mother's voice reverberating through the cool, evening air. "Your issue with Ethan? It's because he's in love with Ana."

I don't say anything. I don't need to. Grace Grey would have caught onto the fucker drooling over my fiancee the second she walked through the door regardless of me telling her the truth or not. She silently walks towards me and sinks into the swing chair, kicking herself off with her foot.

"I saw the way he looked at her during dinner."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Well, I'm guessing Elliot already does?" I nod and she shakes her head in return, knowing full well how close I am with my brother. "I don't think your father knows and Mia is completely oblivious. More's the pity."

"I wanted to tell her, mom." I tip my head back and throw the fiery liquid down in one swallow, wincing through the burn. "I just didn't know how to."

"I don't want that boy sniffing around my daughter, Christian." She tells me with a bite to her voice I don't think I've ever heard before. "I don't want him sniffing around either of my daughter's."

"Fuck, neither do I." I growl. "I can't stand the asshole. I just don't know how to breach this subject to Mia without her hating me in the process. She may be gullible but surely you saw how doe eyed she is over him?"

"Of course I did. At first I just put it down to Mia being Mia, but when they started holding hands under the table…" She shakes her head and I fucking see red, slamming my empty glass onto the table.

"They were what?"

"I think Ana noticed. I saw her looking in their direction anyway."

"What do I do?" I almost cry. "How do I get this bastard away from my family without causing problems for Elliot and Kate? He's her fucking brother, mom."

"Does Kate know?"

"From the start. Ana tells her everything."

"No wonder she looked so upset when she came in." She sighs and folds her arms across her chest, staring into the darkness. "I thought she'd had a fight with Elliot or something."

"They probably did," I scoff.

"Do they have a past together? Ana and Ethan?"

"Fuck no," I almost boom. "Nothing's ever transpired between them but that doesn't stop the fucker from wanting her. Ana's never once had feelings stronger than friendship for him. He just won't catch the hint."

"You can't react over this, Christian." She leans into face me. "I know it must seem unbelievable right now but his feelings _will _disappear eventually, you just need to give it time. The poor boy must be so confused."

"Do you pity him or something?" I accuse.

"Of course I do." She responds, surprising the shit out of me. "He's in love with a woman who isn't available. A woman who was once his close friend, who was always there whenever he needed her. Surely you can relate to that, Christian?"

She's referring to my falling in love with Anastasia when she was still with Brody but that was fucking different. She was in a loveless relationship. He cheated on her and made her feel worthless until I came along and besides, Ana fell in love with me just as hard.

"Don't start, mom. It wasn't the same and you know it."

"Wasn't it? Was Ana not already taken? With your best friend might I add."

"What's your point? Or is this just an excuse to make me feel like shit?"

"No, baby." Grace reaches for my hand and squeezes my palm tightly in a way only a mother can. "You fell in love with a wonderful woman and she too fell for you, but the situations aren't all that different and you _know _it. The only difference is that Anastasia is happy with you, she can't reciprocate."

"Too fucking right she can't." Mom frowns at my language but I don't apologise. This bastard is trying to rip the woman I love away from me. I think I'm entitled to a few fucks here and there. "He wants what's mine and I don't think he'll stop until he gets her. He can't have her, mom." Fuck, I sound as pained as I feel.

"I know that, honey. God, I know that." Her dainty hand cups my cheek. "But you have to remember who it is you're marrying here, Ana is a stunning woman. Ethan won't be the only man to develop feelings for her."

"But he's the only one who has a front row seat," I spit. "I can keep all the other fuckers away from her. I can't keep _him _away."

"Just love your wife, Christian. Love her and protect her and cherish her. Don't let this drag you down."

"I'm not." I grumble, dropping my face into my hands.

"Then why are you out here with me when you could be inside with that beautiful girl?" I actually don't know how to answer that, so instead I lift my head and look at the woman who nurtured and raised me. Needing her guidance to get me through. "Go to her, honey. Don't let him win."

* * *

"You're quiet,"

Ana reaches over the console to squeeze my hand as I pull into the underground garage at Escala. I have been fucking quiet. I took my mom's advice and went back inside to my girl but that didn't stop Ethan staring at her like a fucking piece of meat the entire time. Pissed me the fuck off. As soon as Elliot made his excuses to leave I hightailed us the hell out of there. For once my mother didn't try and stop me.

"Just glad to be home, baby."

"Are you okay?" I nod softly, swinging the R8 into one of the designated bays before killing the engine.

"That was fucking painful."

"I know." My head drops back as deft fingers massage my scalp at the nape of my neck. Fuck, her fingers are magic. "I never want to be exposed to a night like that again."

"Mom knows," I blurt out and Ana's fingers freeze in my hair. "She's not stupid, Ana. She guessed almost instantly."

"What did she say? Did she…Does she think bad of me?"

"Fuck, no of course not." I reach for the hand around my neck and lift it to my lips, kissing each one of her knuckles in turn. "She doesn't even think bad of Ethan. She pities him I can tell."

Ana leans her head back and closes her eyes, the spotlights on the wall and ceiling illuminating her perfect profile from outside the car. She looks tired, drained even. Tonight really has been a shit load of fucking fun. My hand reaches for her jaw and I turn her to face me, her beautiful eyes low and heavy.

"You're mine," I tell her gruffly, my dick hardening when she swallows audibly and nods her head as soon as the words leave my mouth. I pull her towards me, catching her lips in a deep, heated kiss. "Tell me you're mine,"

"I'm yours." She pants. "I've always been yours."

"Fuck,"

My free hand threads into the hair at the back of her head. I slant my mouth over hers and kiss the shit out of her, angling my face so I can devour her in the way I so desperately need to. She whimpers into my mouth and shifts in her seat, her thighs rubbing together as arousal creeps in. I don't hesitate. In one fluid movement she's on my lap and straddling my thighs the best she can in such a tight and confined space.

We're pawing at each other like horny teenagers, groping as much flesh as humanly possible while our tongues battle for dominance. I completely forget myself, forget where I am and fist the hem of her dress, tugging it up until it's bunched around her breasts. Her skin is silky smooth, glowing underneath the dim lights of the garage. She grinds her hips and rocks into me and when I squeeze her tits with both hands her head flies back, almost hitting the steering wheel behind her.

"I need you now,"

"We can't," She gasps. "Someone might see."

"I don't give a fuck," I growl into her mouth and pinch her nipples hard. "I need to be inside you right now. Please don't deny me, baby."

When was the last time I begged for sex? I don't think I've _ever _begged for sex. But after all the shit we've been through tonight I need her to take control, I want her to want me. It's ridiculous, absolutely fucking insane but the jealous asshole tucked away inside of me is petrified she wants Ethan. What if she's having second thoughts? What if he's getting to her?

_No. No! She'd never do that to me. She'd never betray me.  
__How can I be so sure though?  
__What if she's realised she can have a better life with that asshole? A life where she isn't exposed to psychopaths and blood-thirsty paparazzi? _

But the second I feel her fingers tugging at my belt buckle all of that flies out the window. Her perfect little hand fists my dick as she tugs her panties to the side before impaling me with her hot, slick sex. _Fuck. _My teeth grit and my fingers dig into the flesh of her hips as her wet lips suction the head of my cock.

_This is what I needed. This is what I want. _

"Fuck me, Christian." Ana purrs into my ear, biting down on the fleshy lobe. "Take what's yours."

I don't need asking fucking twice. I thrust my hips repeatedly, hitting her sweet spot over and over again until I feel her muscles clench around my shaft. She's falling fast, her muscles tighten and her eyes flutter, moving close to me and pushing her tits against my chest. I love this part. The way she closes her eyes and throws her head back gets me like nothing else. Her mouth drops open in ecstasy and her legs tense for several seconds before shaking uncontrollably, her orgasm violently ripping through her.

"Who do you cum for?" I growl, the race towards my own climax rapidly coming to a finish.

"You. I cum for you, Christian."

"Only me?"

"Yes, fuck yes only you." Tiny whimpers leave her mouth as the pleasure subsides, leaving her spent and lifeless in my arms.

I'm so ready to come. I'm right fucking there but I don't want to do it here, I want her in our bed in our apartment, naked and spread legged on top of the sheets. I lift her off me, fumble with the zip of my pants and slap her bare ass, telling her to get the fuck upstairs.

The elevator ride is agonising. Ana's looking at me with hungry eyes and when she bites her lip I almost fucking lose it right there and then in the middle of the moving cart.

"Get your sweet ass in the bedroom and get naked. Understand?" She nods her head once and as soon as the elevator doors slide open, I take her hand and all but drag her through the foyer.

She doesn't hesitate, ripping her dress over her head and kicking her shoes off all of at the same time. She's so fucking perfect. I follow suit, ass naked and ready to fuck in less than ten seconds.

"Spread your legs."

I can't resist going in for a taste. I drop to my knees and throw her legs over my shoulders, lapping up her cream with my greedy tongue. Ana screams and fists a hand in my hair, her tits bouncing with every flick of my tongue. The whole night has been leading to this. Every stolen glance, every soft touch. I have half a mind to call that Ethan fucker and put him on speaker so he can listen to my girl as she explodes in my mouth. Screaming _my _name.

With that sweet image fresh in my mind I stand and drive into her. I fuck her hard and fast, threading our fingers together and pinning her hands above her head. She's so deliciously spread out, her flesh slick with sweat as her second orgasm creeps in.

"Say my name,"

"Christian," She chokes.

"Again."

"Christian! Oh _fuck,_"

"You're mine. Fucking cum for me."

She detonates, shattering into a thousand pieces as my name tears from her lips in a throaty growl. Control starts to slip and I feel everything blur as my girl leans up to kiss me, swiping her tongue across my sweaty top lip. I push her back and pull out of her, fisting my cock at the root as streams of cum mark her stomach and chest.

"You're mine, Anastasia."

* * *

Anastasia's POV

Fuck, is he cooking breakfast? The faint smell of bacon rouses me from my deep sleep, wafting through the air and hitting me straight in the face. I stretch my naked limbs and yawn, rolling out of bed and plucking my robe up off the ottoman as I go.

_What time is it? _

The alarm clock reads 6am and I groan out loud, cursing myself for not checking before getting up. It's _way _too early for this. I've only known Christian to attempt cooking once and that resulted in a stove going up in flames and Taylor bursting through the apartment with an extinguisher like something out of _Chicago Fire. _But that's not the scene I'm faced with this morning. Christian is sitting at the breakfast bar reading the newspaper as he sips on his coffee, dressed and ready to impress.

"Good morning, beautiful." He purrs, cupping my ass and giving it a shake. "Hungry?"

"That depends,"

"On?"

"On whether it's edible,"

"You wound me." Christian slaps a hand over his heart feigning hurt. "But don't worry, I haven't cooked anything."

"No? Then who-"

"Miss. Steele, good morning. Eggs and bacon good for you?"

"Gail!" I beam, making my way around the breakfast bar and wrapping my arms around her. She hesitates for a second before hugging me back but that's only because Christian is in the room. "When did you get back?"

"Early this morning. Jason collected me."

"And you're working?" I frown, shooting my fiancé a cold stare.

"Don't look at me," He defends himself. "She was already in here when I woke up."

"I wanted to jump straight back in. It's no trouble, Ana honestly."

She's been away for two weeks visiting her sister in Portland and with Christian also gone I've missed her like crazy. She's almost like the mother I've never had and I've grown to care for her as someone other than just staff. I don't care if Christian doesn't like it. Taylor may be his head of security but they're as close as he and Elliot are.

"Just eggs for me, Gail."

"_Just _eggs?" Christian eyeballs me over the rim of his coffee cup. "What do you mean just fucking eggs?"

"Chill out hot head," I roll my eyes. "I'll have fruit with it."

"I don't fucking like this, Anastasia."

"Like what?" I perch my butt on the stool beside him and reach for a banana from the fruit basket, peeling the skin back slowly and taking a bite.

"You're taking this healthy eating shit too far. You don't need to lose anymore weight."

"Christian, when _you_ need to fit your ass into a size four wedding dress _then _you can come to me and bitch about what I eat. But until then," I slap a hand over his mouth. "shut up."

"Size four? Ana, that's too fucking thin. Cut it out."

"I've always been a four! You know I'd love to see how you'd act if I gained twenty pounds, Christian. Somehow I don't think you'd have this blasé attitude." I grumble through a mouthful of banana as I cross one leg over the other. Not exactly all that ladylike, I know.

"I'd love you just-"

"Don't say I'd love you just the way you are," One finger points in his smug, smirking face. "that's bullshit and you know it, Grey."

"No, the only thing that's bullshit around here is you starving yourself to fucking death. I swear to god if you even lose so much as a cup size-"

"Oh, I should have _known _you'd be thinking about my bra size," Rolling my eyes, I wrap my hands around my freshly brewed tea and cock my head to the side, eyeing Christian as his gaze lands south and straight onto my chest. _Perve._

"Just don't be silly about this, Ana. You're perfect to me the way you are,"

"You have to say that, you're my fiancée."

Christian drains his coffee and smacks his lips, curling a hand around my jaw as he stands to his feet. "Stop it. I'll see you tonight."

Soft, butterfly kisses pepper my face and I melt into a pool of languid mush. I sit open mouthed as he stuffs his phone into his pocket and saunters out of the kitchen, nodding at Taylor as he stands waiting in the doorway with a stoic yet warm smile.

God, what he does to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four - Old Ghosts.

* * *

**Anastasia****'****s POV  
**

"Kate! This is gorgeous!"

I'm literally speechless walking through Grace and Carrick's living room at Bellevue. The entire house has been transformed into every bride's dream for my shower and it couldn't be anymore beautiful if I'd done it myself. Kate grins and claps her hands excitedly, tugging on my wrist and pulling me around the room pointing at every little detail.

She's a devil dressed in Dior. Her voice blared down my cell at ten-fifteen last night demanding that I clear my schedule because I'm having the - and I _quote - _'biggest fuck off bridal shower there ever was.' Christian had just cum inside me, collapsing onto my back and gliding his sinful tongue along the length of my spine, lapping up beads of sweat after fucking me every which way for more than an hour. I was so dazed and satiated I found myself agreeing without even acknowledging a single word, it wasn't until this morning that I realised just what she'd done. It seems Katherine Kavanagh has been plotting behind my back for weeks and everyone was in on it.

Pink and white balloons are everywhere I turn, wrapped in delicate tulle and finished with a feminine bow. The table at the far end of the room is laden with cupcakes and other sweet treats, personalised with a tiny 'I do' cocktail stick piercing the icing along with flutes of blush champagne, gold sugar trim rimming the glasses. A large banner hangs on the wall behind reading 'Miss to Mrs' but what really chokes me up is the table runner.

I don't know how she did it but it's made up of picture after picture after picture. Some are of me alone, but most of them consist of more memories than I could even begin to count. My entire life is documented on this thing and as my fingers trace each tiny photo, my throat swells and I blink hard, willing the threatening tears away. This must have taken weeks to put together.

"Where did you get this one?" I whisper, gazing down at a black and white 4x4 of Christian and I, cuddled together with cheesy grins on our faces. "Was this Olivia's birthday?"

"She found it on her phone. I think this is the only one that _wasn__'__t _taken by a pap." She snorts.

"Christian doesn't like having his picture taken. Although I don't know why, he's the most photogenic person I know."

"Hmm, I know." She murmurs. "Good looking bastard isn't he?"

"You have no idea,"

* * *

"No! Noooo." Kate jumps on the spot and waves her hands in the air like a performing seal, her feet bouncing against the carpeted floor. "Everybody _thinks _her celebrity crush is Ryan Gosling when in actual fact, I know it's George Clooney."

"George Clooney?" Fran frowns and scrunches her nose up. "Really, Ana?"

"Excuse me, but Oceans 11? Who the hell _didn__'__t _crush on him after watching that?"

"Okay, moving on." Olivia clears her throat and holds the card up higher, reeling off the next question in her very best telephone voice. "Ana's favourite thing about Christian? - and remember to keep it clean ladies. Mother in law is still in the room."

"Oh, I know!" Grace is the first to hold her hand up. "His hair. My boy has beautiful hair."

"He does," I agree. "But I wouldn't say it's my most favourite quality."

"His ass?" April in HR bellows.

"His eyes?" I don't even know who that was.

"Can't I just say what everyone is thinking?" Kate slurs over the rim of her champagne flute. "His penis." _Only Kate. Only fucking Kate would say that, fully aware Grace is listening in. _To her credit though she doesn't shy away or redden with embarrassment, instead she shakes her head with a quiet laugh and reaches for Kate's glass, tugging it away from her lips while patting her thigh. She isn't drunk, she's just excited. It's plain to see.

"Thank you, Kate but no." I call out, chewing on my lower lip.

"Ooh, his arms. That guy has some _serious _arms going on."

"Close," I grin.

"Look, I think we can _all _agree that everything about Christian Grey is damned perfect. Put us out of our misery, Ana."

"Okay," I flex my fingers and wiggle my toes. "His feet."

"His _feet_?" Kate's face drops making me laugh loudly. "Girl, that body is wasted on you."

"What's wrong with that? I've always loved his feet." I squeak as all attention turns to me.

"Wasted, Ana. _Wasted._"

"Okay, so while someone gets mouthy over here some water we'll continue. Elementary school?"

The room falls silent and I can literally hear the clogs turning. I don't think Kate knows this. Does _Christian _even know? I lean back in the armchair, take a long sip of champagne and make a mental note to ask him. Better still, I'll request the Mr &amp; Mrs game when the guys drop by later after their game of golf. I'm just about to rise and reveal the answer when I hear a voice that I haven't heard in over nine years, standing beside Mia in the doorway wearing a floral dress that hits her knees and hugs her curves.

"Beacon Avenue. Ms. Jackson was your favourite teacher and you hated Mr. Lewis because he'd only give you the easy books to read, you'd often come home crying after spending the day with him." I'm on my feet, clutching the stem of my flute tightly as I drink in the woman in front of me. The woman who practically raised me. The woman who I admired every day of my life. "Ana. Baby,"

"Jen," I whisper, stunned and open mouthed. "You're here…"

"Kate invited me," She knots her hands together in front of her and glances down at her feet nervously. She looks gorgeous. Just as gorgeous as I remembered her to be. Thick, chestnut hair. Big blue eyes and a figure most forty-six year olds would be envious of. "I hope…I hope that's okay."

"Of course it is," I take three steps forward, passing someone - anyone my drink as I move towards Jen. _Aunt Jen. _"I can't believe you're here."

I have my arms wrapped around her before I can even comprehend what it is I'm doing. She freezes for a moment, gasping audibly. She still smells exactly the same, light floral perfume and jasmine scented body lotion. I'm fighting back tears when she eventually relaxes and hugs me back, stroking the back of my head softly - just like she used to.

"God, I've missed you, Ana." She chokes. "Let me look at you…"

Pushing me back, she grips my biceps and examines me at arms length, her eyes scanning me from head to toe. The last time she saw me I was a scrawny fourteen year old with matted hair and bad fashion sense. Now I'm a twenty-four year old woman, engaged to a gorgeous billionaire and wearing a ring that probably cost more than the average person's yearly salary.

"You're so beautiful. You've always been beautiful but now…I just can't believe it." Chatter resumes behind me, my friends and family no doubt choosing to let us reconcile in private. Something I'm incredibly grateful for.

"How did…I don't understand how you can really be here."

"I started looking for Jen ever since you told me you'd invited her to the wedding," Kate slides in beside me and hooks an arm around my neck and shoulders, bumping her hip against mine. "Not an easy woman to find might I add, but then that's what megalomaniac fiancé's are for."

"Christian?" I gasp. "Christian knew you were coming?"

"I asked him to keep quiet," Jen admits in a whisper, nervously twisting a chocolate curl around her finger. "I so desperately wanted to surprise you."

"You have. I'm just a little stunned."

"We all knew how much this meant to you, Steele. It was a joint effort."

"I was so scared you'd reject me, Ana." Her chin wobbles as tears swim in her deep blue eyes. I take her hand and run my thumb over her knuckles, gazing down at her immaculate blood red manicure. "It's been so long and so much has happened. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to-"

"No never," I interrupt her. "I'd never reject you, Jen. I invited you to my wedding, remember?"

"I moved five years ago, not far but it meant I didn't receive your invitation, I didn't even know anything about it until your friend contacted me four weeks ago."

"Four _weeks_?" I screech. "You've all been in cahoots for a month?"

"What can I say," Kate shrugs with a wink. "We're incredible secret keepers."

"This is unreal." I breathe, running a hand through my hair. "We have so much to…God, I have so much to tell you."

"All in good time, sweet girl." She palms my cheek and squeezes tenderly. "Right now I just want you to enjoy the rest of your shower. We have plenty of time to talk."

I briefly introduce her to my friends and Grace who of course lives up to her name like always. She fawns over Jen like she's the second coming but I guess in many ways she is. I've wanted her back in my life for as long as I can remember, even before Christian and I got engaged I constantly thought about her. My wedding was just a feeble excuse for me to reach out to her, it finally gave me the courage to make the first move and stop living in the damn past.

The game is long forgotten but it takes Olivia all of five minutes to drag roll after roll of toilet paper into the living room, ready for the guests to create their own make-shift wedding gowns. I sip on champagne and nibble on a lemon drizzle cupcake with Jen glued to my side. She isn't afraid of mixing, but she's much like I am right now, she doesn't want to be away from me.

Grace stands with her hand on her hip and her thumb on the stopwatch as my friends bid to out-do each other. Fran practically tackles Claire from work to the ground while Mia and Kate trip over their own feet, Olivia squealing when her roll runs out ahead of everyone else. The floor is covered in toilet paper and the walls are shaking with girlish screams. My ears are ringing and I'm sure I'll have the headache from hell later but I couldn't be happier than I am right here in this moment. The only thing missing is Christian.

Gretchen circles the room with fresh champagne flutes and an iced tea for Jen, telling me she needs to keep a clear head ready for driving to her hotel later. I don't even need to think twice about this.

"You'll stay with us,"

"Oh no, Ana I couldn't possibly. You have so much to do with the wedding and everything else, I'm quite happy to-"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Jen. You're family. "I'll be offended if you say no."

"Are you sure Christian won't mind?"

"Of course not. He's the one who dragged you here after all,"

"He loves you, I could tell as much just by speaking with him on the phone."

"He's amazing," I gush. "I got so lucky finding him,"

"Oh no, baby. _He__'__s_ the lucky one." She reaches out to stroke my cheek, staring into my eyes like she's trying to read me. "There's so much I want to say, so much I need to apologise for, Ana."

"Later. It's like you said, we have all the time in the world to talk and to laugh and to cry. Right now, I'm just so happy you're here."

* * *

Christian and the boys make an appearance a little after one-thirty just as Mia is organising my gifts into a pile on the designated table underneath the bay window. He holds his hand up, offering the ladies his signature wave and his panty-dropping grin, making them all swoon in turn. I reach for him, kissing his lips soundly.

"Having fun?" He croons, tucking an errant curl behind my ear in the tender way only he can. "Fuck, you look gorgeous. Is this new?"

His fingers trace circles over my hip bones through my dress, palming my sides and pulling me into his hard body. He's still wearing the same clothes he played golf in this morning and I don't think I've ever wanted him more. Damn he looks hot in white.

"The best and yes, it's new."

"Well I approve, Miss. Steele. You look ravishing." My sex clenches when he looks me up and down like he wants to devour me right here in the middle of his parent's living room, but right now being ravished is the furthest thing from my mind.

"Jen's here," He glances down at me with a shy smile, something so rare coming from Mr. Confidence himself. "Nice touch, Grey."

"You wanted her here," He says it so blasé. Like he's constantly making a habit of roping in long distance relatives weeks before our wedding. "Kate struggled to reach her at the address you had so she came to me, I wanted to tell you but Jen-"

"Made you promise, I know." I fiddle with the buttons of his polo shirt and tilt my head to the side. "I've told her she can stay with us tonight. You don't mind, do you?"

"Baby, she can stay as long as she wants. Has seeing her made you happy?" His hand slides up my neck to my cheek, curling around my jaw soft yet possessive all at the same time.

"Very,"

"Then that's all that matters to me."

After resisting the urge to straddle him in public and kiss him until he can't breathe, I tug on his hand and pull him across the room to where Jen is still sitting on the couch. Her reaction to my fiancé is somewhat comical, her eyes widen and her jaw drops as Christian takes hold of her outstretched hand and drops a kiss to the her knuckles. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, just a soft giggle and a cough to clear her throat.

"Anastasia has told me so much about you, thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting me, Christian. If I had known Ana tried reaching out to me," She pauses and bites down on her lip. _So that's where I get it from. _"Well, let's just say I would've been here sooner."

"You're here now," I take her hand in mine and squeeze her palm, something she used to do for me whenever I became anxious. "That's all that matters."

"Christian!" Mia booms, barrelling across the room and heading straight for her brother. "We can play now you're here."

"Play what?"

"Mr &amp; Mrs, duh!" She slaps his bicep and rolls her eyes. "Come on, it was Ana's idea."

"Yours?" He turns to look at me.

"It's only a bit of fun. Why, what's wrong? Scared you'll lose?"

"Oh, baby." Christian smirks right back, curling his fingers around my wrist. "You should know by now, I never lose."

Christian wins the game with one question, grinning like the smug bastard he is and swinging me around the room. He nips my neck and whispers hotly into my ear, asking when he can claim his prize. Although I'm a sore loser, I can't help laughing when he cups my ass in his hands and shakes each cheek with a playful growl. I play dumb and pretend I'm oblivious to his undeniable sex appeal, but all of that flies out the window when he starts fiddling with my gifts, holding a bra up to his chest and squeezing the cups.

"What in the fuck," He gapes. "What the hell are _these_?"

"Panties," I smirk. "What do you think they are?"

"Where's the fucking rest of them?" He holds out the scrap of red lace and squints his eyes, fingering the missing piece like it's the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. "Fuck, are these crotchless?"

He looks so damn adorable. Christian Grey, twenty-eight year old billionaire rendered speechless by a pair of indecent panties. I pull them out of his hand and toss them back onto the pile, rolling my eyes when he discovers a vibrating bullet along with several other toys. I don't know what he was expecting here, this _is_ a bridal shower after all. Anything goes.

"On a scale of one to ten, how embarrassed were you opening this in front of my mother?"

He holds a up a curved, silicone body wand and wags an eyebrow, shaking the toy back and forth in front of my face and pressing each button, frowning when he realises it still needs batteries.

"Off the charts mortified if you must know."

"Thought so," He snorts with a loud laugh, dropping the offending wand back onto the table before pulling me into him and cupping my ass indecently, grinding his evident arousal into my core. "That's fucking turned me on. How much longer before we can get out of here?"

"Christian!" I swat his chest and pout, feigning annoyance. "One, that's rude and two, we can't anyway. Jen's coming back with us, remember?"

"What, so we can't?…" I bite down on my lip to suppress a giggle as his beautiful face falls, he looks almost crestfallen.

"I'm not saying we can't, I'm just telling you we can't sneak off for a quick fuck in the kitchen. This woman still sees me as a fourteen year old virgin, Christian," I tilt my head to the side and purse my lips. There's no need to elaborate further, he knows what I'm getting at.

"Understood," He sighs.

"Even if we were alone," I run my hands over his covered pecks and smooth the collar of his shirt. "We still wouldn't be able to sneak off. Kate would cut your damn balls off for dragging me away from my shower." Christian grimaces and squeezes my cheeks, leaning down to kiss first my nose then my lips.

"Duly noted."

* * *

Jen walks around the apartment in a state of awe, brushing her fingertips over every available surface as she goes. I remember feeling exactly the same way the first time Christian brought me here. I always knew it would be something spectacular but never did I envision this. It's _beyond _stunning - and now it's my home. My home with my fiancé.

"Gail is preparing the guest room for you and Taylor's taking your luggage up."

"Gail?" She glances over her shoulder briefly, not wanting to look away from the view as she stops in front of the floor to ceiling window in the great room. Seattle beneath her feet.

"She's Chris…our housekeeper. She's wonderful." Jen's eyes widen at the mention of staff and once again I'm reminded of the first time I met Gail. Feeling completely overwhelmed by this brand new lifestyle with this brand new boyfriend in this spectacular penthouse. "I know what you must be thinking,"

"You do?" She turns around and folds her arms across her chest, crossing one ankle over the other. I set my purse onto the floor beside the couch and flop down onto it, patting the empty spot beside me.

"This life I have with Christian, you must be dubious." Jen opens her mouth to speak but I hold my hand up with a soft smile, thankful when she catches the hint and lets me finish. "I was too at first. Coming here and seeing his world, it was crazy. He seemed so normal to me at first, so _ordinary._"

I shake my head with a scoff as the word leaves my lips. Life with Christian is anything but ordinary. I actually struggle to remember a day where my life didn't feel like something out of an _Oprah Winfrey _episode, but strangely enough I wouldn't change a thing. I'd choose an emotionally demanding future with Christian over a simple future without him.

"He may have all this around him," I wave my hand in the air, gesturing to our surroundings. "but it's just part of the package, Jen. He doesn't care for it anymore than I do but he can't get away from it. The security is a necessity and Gail…well she's needed just as much but she's more like family. She's really been there for me when my own mother…"

I freeze, slamming my mouth shut when her face snaps up in shock. This is the first time since her arrival that I've mentioned my mom and her stunned reaction is somewhat expected. She knots her fingers together in her lap and presses her lips into a hard line, glancing up at me with sad eyes.

_Wine. We need wine. _I gather two glasses and a bottle of Chardonnay as quickly as I can, not wanting for her to disappear back into that shell she's become so accustomed to over the past ten years. She takes a healthy gulp of her drink as soon as the glass is placed in her hand, wiping her mouth with her fingers but managing to avoid smudging her still perfect lipstick in the process.

"I should have been here for you, Ana. It should have been me."

"Jen,"

"No let me finish," She holds her hand up much like I did two minutes ago and releases a heavy breath, her leg bouncing anxiously. "I need to explain why I did what I did when that bastard hurt you. I need you to understand."

"Dad explained some of it to me." I tell her softly.

"What did he say?"

"That you were there at the hospital with me after it happened and that you lunged for my mom." Her face hardens instantly and her teeth grind together. I can see her fingers curling around her glass goblet as she tries to keep it together. I'm seeing it now, I can see just how much Jen hates her one and only sister and it's terrifying.

"I wanted to kill her. I wanted to rip her heart right out for letting it happen when _she _should have protected you, Ana." She inhales a deep breath and closes her eyes. "I knew there was something wrong about Morton the moment I met him. He was shady and reserved and he didn't want to know any of us, he only cared about your mother."

_Wrong. _I want to scream. He _did _care for someone else but not in the way he should have. He paid more attention to me and ignored Carla half the time, using her for sex whenever he needed it. I may have been an innocent but I wasn't naïve. I knew what they were doing when I heard disgusting grunting noises in the middle of the night, I hated him for touching my mother like that but on the other hand I knew she wanted it. She wanted to please him and she wanted to keep him satisfied, but it's only now I realise she was scared he'd leave her for another woman. _He did prefer them young after all. _

"I tried to tell her that leaving Ray wouldn't make her happy. I get that marriages fail and things don't always work out the way you want them to but she also had you to consider. You loved your daddy more than anything in the world." Jen takes my hand and I feel my eyes stinging with tears. Fuck, I can't cry yet. "She moved out anyway, not giving a shit about the consequences and took you with her. Moving you in with that…thing."

"I hated him." I start. "I hated him for taking my mom away from Ray. I hated him for breaking up our family."

"It takes two, baby." Blue meets blue when she raises her chin to look at me. "I'm not defending him either, that's the last thing I'm doing but she knew exactly what _she_ was doing when she jumped into bed with Morton, Ana. She wanted out and he was her god damn meal ticket."

"It took him a while."

"What did?"

I have a feeling she's nowhere near finished but I'm already zoned out. I'm back there now, back in that hell hole where I hated everything and everyone. I've only visited that dark place in my head once or twice and every time I break down, but I know I need to do this. I need to lay these fucking demons to rest once and for all and only Jen can help me do this. Other than Ray and Carla, she was there watching it all.

"He was nice to me at first but I think that was because he wanted to impress mom, make her see that he could be the perfect step-father. Then the touching would start,"

The words taste vile as they roll around in my mouth and my hands start to shake. I can feel Jen tense beside me but she doesn't make a move to stop me, she doesn't even touch me. It's like she knows I need to do this. I need to get this out.

"He'd start stroking my hair when we watched T.V together , telling me how pretty I was and how I must have all the boys at school right where I want them. I just thought he was being nice and making an effort, even mom smiled when he complimented me so I didn't think anything of it. I just thought he was being nice," A lone tear slides down my cheek but I don't wipe it away. I want to feel the pain in my chest, I want to remember how he made me feel so I can describe every soul destroying detail.

"Lucas came round almost every Wednesday night to study. You remember Luc, right?" Jen nods her head softly and takes another sip of her wine. I just stare down at mine, it tastes repugnant to me now. "One night he stayed that little bit later, we had this huge math test coming up and before we knew it, it was gone nine-thirty. Mom was working late so I knew she wouldn't berate me for it but as soon as Lucas left Morton came upstairs to me, bursting into my room like he owned the place."

My teeth grit together and I clench my knuckles into fists, my skin blanching into a pale side of white. I can still see him now, towering over me in his jeans and dark blue shirt, the top three buttons undone with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. It's like he was ready to fuck there and then. My stomach roils at the memory.

"He yelled at me for having a boy over so late with the bedroom door shut. At first he sounded like the typical parent, I kept telling myself Ray would've acted no different but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease as he stood over me, breathing heavily. He asked me if Lucas was my boyfriend and when I said no he laughed this…disgusting laugh. It was perverse. It made my skin crawl. Then he sat down on the bed beside me, snatched my workbook out of my hand and tossed it across the room. I thought he was going to hit me, he looked pissed as hell. I was so scared."

"Ana, you don't-"

"No, I do." I interrupt her. "I haven't even told Christian this. He knows what happened, of course he does but this…he doesn't know this." Jen sits up a little straighter, squaring her shoulders and nodding her head once, allowing me to continue.

"He slid a hand into my hair and pulled slightly, it stung but I didn't react. I was too scared to react." I take another deep breath and close my eyes. "Then he leaned in and whispered into my ear, telling me he didn't want Lucas near me anymore. I tried to argue but he pulled on my hair harder, he told me he knew the 'boy' wanted to fuck me and that he couldn't. He said the only person to fuck me…would be him."

Jen's hand flies to her mouth as she gasps loudly. She knew Morton was a perverted bastard but I don't think she realised just how depraved he truly was. She doesn't know he groomed me for months before eventually attacking me, she doesn't know he called me his 'special girl', telling me how much he loved me.

"I didn't know what to say. I froze. I was fourteen and my new step-father was telling me he wanted to fuck me. I remember running to the bathroom to throw up after he left, but not before he kissed me on the cheek and licked my ear. I could feel his lips on me for hours afterward, I could smell his breath and it made me sick."

"Did you tell…did Carla know about that?"

"I wanted to," I almost cry. "I wanted so badly to tell her but Steven would stop me every time, telling me if mom found out we couldn't be together. I didn't _want _us to be together but he scared the shit out of me every time he came near me. I was terrified."

A sob catches in my throat and I'm powerless to stop it. I can't cry though. If I cry I'll scream and I don't want Christian to hear me. He's in his office and I don't want him seeing me upset, I've told him that all this will be is a chance for Jen to explain her side of the story. If he knew I was out here reliving every disgusting detail…

"It went on for months. The hair stroking and the occasional whisper in my ear when mom wasn't looking. Then he'd start asking me if I was wet and if I wanted him yet. I felt physically fucking sick. It's like my discomfort turned him on, he enjoyed seeing me cringe away from him. It gave him a kick."

"The Doctor told us there were no signs of penetration," Jen spits out. "But did he…did he touch you when he-"

"No." I stop her. "Mom came in and stopped him."

"That's the one good thing she did," Her voice is laced with hatred, I've never seen this side of her before and it's scaring me. I knew something really bad must've happened to make her leave and never come back for me. "I remember the exact moment Ray called me and told me what happened. He was hysterical, rushing to the hospital to get to you but he couldn't…he was in pieces, Ana."

My throat constricts and my heart hammers in my chest. I can handle everything else but hearing how heartbroken my father was breaks me into a thousand pieces every time. I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle a sob but it escapes regardless.

"I wanted to, but I couldn't face going to the hospital straight away. It must have been a good three hours before I plucked up the courage to go. Even Ray got there before me. Carla tried telling me she didn't know, she was crying and snivelling like the pathetic woman she was but I couldn't handle it. I went for her, Ana. I wanted to _hurt _her. She had you, this beautiful, beautiful daughter and she didn't even protect you."

Her hands reach for my face, her thumbs swiping away the tears that are now falling fast and heavy down my face, blurring my vision almost completely.

"I told her. I _told _her to leave you with Ray when she left. I just knew there was something wrong about him but she didn't fucking listen to me, she was blind to everything around her and nothing mattered. Not even you."

"Why did you? Why didn't you stay…" I ask the question I've needed to ask ever since she got here this afternoon. "Why did you leave me?"

"Oh, baby, I didn't want to." She scoots in closer to me, cupping my face between her hands. "She was fighting Ray when he tried to take you away. You were still under sedation and she was all over you, telling you how much she loved you and how sorry she was but as soon as you woke up she changed. She could barely even look at you."

I remember. I remember her holding me before the EMT's came to the house. I remember her crying hysterically as she cradled me in her lap like a child. Then I remember her avoiding me like the plague, even when I asked her to hold me after the police grilled me for hours she wouldn't. She just walked away. I was crying and screaming for her but she walked away like I meant nothing.

"I don't remember you being there when I woke up?"

"I wasn't." She admits, regret and shame tainting her voice. "I couldn't face you, Ana. I couldn't bear seeing you broken like that. You were such a happy girl, so full of life. Walking into that hospital room and seeing you drugged because you were so traumatised, it _killed _me."

"Dad didn't tell me much more. I don't think he really understood himself."

"He wouldn't. He was so dedicated to fixing you he didn't see anything else, that's how it should have been. That's what you deserved." She swirls her wine glass and stares down into it. "I was terrified Carla would win. She practically ignored you but she still wouldn't let Ray take you back to Montesano. She kept telling the authorities he didn't have any rights, that he wasn't even your biological father."

That's why I hate her so much. I resent her for letting me down when I needed her most but the way she treated my dad was unforgivable. He was my hero. She _knew _that. Yet she ripped me away from him and when he came back for me, she tried ripping me away from him again. Raymond Steele may not be my blood, but he's more of a parent than she ever was.

"I was terrified she'd get you back. The thought of Morton getting off petrified me but the thought of you being exposed to another abusive boyfriend or husband sickened me. I couldn't…I just couldn't stick around to watch that."

"Didn't Ray ever get in touch and tell you what happened?" I ask her as I swipe my wet cheeks with the back of my hand.

"I changed all my numbers." She whispers. "It was disgusting of me, I know that. I'm no better than Carla for abandoning you the way I did, but I just couldn't stay. You must hate me.."

"I don't hate you, Jen." I take her hand in mine and the sobbing seizes. "I missed you every day. I can't lie and say you leaving didn't hurt me but I never once hated you. Never."

"There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you, Ana." She's crying now. Her eyes swimming with glassy tears as her chin wobbles in defeat. "You were like a daughter to me. You still are."

I collapse into her arms and bury my face into the crook of her neck. I feel fourteen again. I needed my mother's love and touch when I felt cheap and worthless but I needed Jen's touch just as much. She was always there. Every birthday, every Christmas, every spelling bee. She was _always _there until she wasn't. I felt like I lost another part of me when she didn't come back.

"I love you so much, Annie."

I break as my old nick-name resonates through my ears. Only she and Ray would call me that but it made me feel so special and loved, it was _my _name. Mine. Just for me. She strokes my hair and rocks me from side to side, humming a soft tune into my ear and all of a sudden I feel light. I feel so unbelievably light that I can't fight the slump of my shoulders as my eyelids start to droop.

* * *

The bed dips and I feel strong arms wrapping around my waist, a hard wall of muscle pressing into my back as soft lips trail along the length of my neck, rousing me from my sleep.

_Christian._

"What time is it?" I croak, my voice hoarse and heavy.

"Just after six. Gail's saved you some dinner if you're hungry?"

"Not really," I wriggle my toes and stretch my legs, stroking the hand that's covering my stomach. "Has Jen eaten?"

"A little." Christian kisses my neck and strokes the back of my head softly. "I think your talk took it out of her just as much as it took it out of you,"

"Did she tell you?"

"I didn't ask, baby." He whispers. "You fell asleep on her so I carried you to bed."

I'm only now realising that I'm no longer in my dress, a pair of shorts and a tank top covering my flesh instead. I must have been really out of it if he managed to undress me without waking me. Turning around in his hold, I see that he too has changed his clothes, opting for sweatpants and that tee-shirt that I love so much. His fingers trail down my cheek, brushing my lower lip as we stare at each other for what feels like the longest time.

"He's gone."

"Who has, baby?"

"Morton." I whisper. "It feels like he's finally gone."

Christian frowns slightly but it's only for a second. He knows what I'm saying, he knows Jen coming here has given me exactly what I needed. _Closure_. I wriggle in closer, resting my cheek on the arm that's stretched out underneath my neck.

"Telling you about him cleared everything away, it was like I had a fog hanging over me but you took that away instantly. But Jen…" I stop to release a small breath. "She's closed the one door I couldn't close. I've always wondered why she left and didn't come back, I thought it was my fault. I guess I just couldn't understand why she didn't want me anymore."

"And now?" He asks me, his breath hitting my lips.

"She _did _want me. She just couldn't handle seeing me so hurt and broken, that's why she left." I can see anguish washing over his face as he pictures me in that fucking hospital, so traumatised and weak. So alone.

"I wish I knew you then," He breathes. "I wish I was there to hold you and love you when you needed it most. I hate the thought of you hurting."

I slide my hands up to his face and run my fingers through his hair, relishing in the feel of his soft curls against my skin. Christian closes his eyes and covers my hand with his, his thumb stroking my wrist reverentially.

"You're here now. You make everything better." I catch his lips with mine, my tongue swiping across his lips in a sensual dance. Flashes of Morton's face run through my mind but it's not like before, it's like I'm seeing him for a final time. "Make everything better, Christian."

His mouth covers every inch of my body, gliding over my nipples as he tugs my tank top over my head. He doesn't need to wait, he knows I'm ready for him. I whimper when the thick head of his cock pushes into me, filling me all the way to the hilt. My legs clamp around his waist and my arms circle his neck, holding him close and tight. He hasn't even removed his pants, they're bunched at his ankles as he drives into me with deep precision.

We're silent as we move, our heavy breathing the only sounds to be heard. This isn't about getting off. This is about our connection, the connection we've only ever felt with each other. I'm so wet it's unreal, there's been no foreplay whatsoever but the love I feel for this man drives me to insanity more than any teasing ever could.

His face is buried in my neck and his arms are wrapped around me, one around my shoulders and one around my knee, holding me wide open for him. It takes me less than five minutes to reach my peak, I was so ready for him. _So ready. _A tear slides down my cheek when I cum hard around him, I shake and quiver as I cry silently into his mouth. Christian cups my face, kisses me harder and swipes my tears away as he blows with a quiet grunt. Giving me everything he has and more.

* * *

**Christian's POV**

Walking into the great room last night to my beautiful girl asleep on her Aunt Jen's lap all but broke me in half. I knew she'd been crying straight away, even with her eyes closed I could see how red and swollen they were. Jen was stroking her hair and gazing down at her with such adoration, such love. It fucking killed me.

Her eyes met mine and she smiled a small smile, nodding her head and telling me everything I needed to know. _She's okay. _Silently, I reached down for Ana and lifted her into my arms, carrying her towards our bedroom and placing her onto the bed so she could sleep some more.

Making love to her when she woke up was cathartic for the both of us. She needed me to show her how much I adore her, and I needed her be sure that she was really okay. Sex is like fucking therapy, it exposes our feelings without having to actually say anything to one another. A sob caught in the back of my throat when she came, crying softly and quietly with tears rolling down her beautiful face. She needed it, she needed to let go. Once and for all.

My biggest fear this morning was that the events of last night put a dampener on her bridal shower. She looked so fucking happy when I walked into to my parent's house, seeing her laughing with her friends and family as she flicked through old photos of her childhood, her smile so big I could have wept right there and then. So when she shook her head and kissed me in the shower this morning after I tentatively broached the subject, relief washed over me along with the water above our heads.

Which is why I'm doing this today. I couldn't risk anything ruining my girl's special day, she deserved it and so much more. But now I can't avoid it, I need to get this out and into the open before it gets any fucking worse.

My baby sister strolls into my office at noon sharp, dressed to kill in an all Chanel ensemble with large sunglasses framing her face. After planting a loud, lip smacking kiss on my face she dumps her purse and slumps down onto the couch.

"You sounded desperate on the phone. What's up?" She glances up at me, diving straight into the Chinese take-out I had Taylor deliver five minutes ago. "And why the hell are you here on a Sunday?"

"Getting as much shit done as I can before we leave for the honeymoon." I sigh. "I just need to talk to you about something."

"Sounds ominous. Should I be worried?"

_That depends Mimi. Are you planning on falling in love with Ethan fucking Kavanagh or what?_

She helps herself to a large portion of Kung-Pao chicken and settles back into the couch, kicking her heels off and making herself comfortable. I've sat through two conference calls already today, a 45 million dollar deal went south and I've fired an incompetent as fuck member of my legal team all before lunch. But here I sit, tugging at my tie sweating bullets because I'm shit scared to have this conversation with my sister.

"Have you spoken to Ethan since dinner at mom and dad's?" She freezes mid chew, eyeballing me as she reaches for her iced tea and takes a healthy sip.

"You got me here to talk about Ethan?"

"Yes." I tell her with no preamble. "And I don't intend on arguing with you over it, either. I just need to know."

She sighs heavily and tucks a dark curl behind her ear, chewing slowly and swallowing hard. "He called me Friday night but I missed it. He left a message."

"Saying?"

"Asking me to lunch. I messaged him back and told him I couldn't do yesterday because it was Ana's shower. I'll just meet him sometime next week." She shrugs with such nonchalance while I'm sat here gritting my teeth together and plotting his murder. When the fuck did this become my life?

_That cock sucking motherfucker…_

"Why do I get the feeling you don't _want_ me to meet him next week?"

"That's what we need to talk about,"

"I gathered as much." She huffs, leans back into the couch and waves a perfectly manicure hand at me, gesturing to continue. "Give it to me. What's wrong with him?"

I mull over my next sentence for a good two minutes before actually saying anything, not knowing how to fucking say what I need to say. This is my sister. My annoying, naïve as hell sister. She's a consistent pain in my ass but I love her. I've always loved her. I punched Tommy White in the face when he shoved her at school and I held her tight when her first boyfriend cheated on her, right before I hunted the little bastard down and ripped him to shreds. This is no different, I'm merely protecting her.

"Mia," I start. "You can't start something up with Ethan,"

"Why not?" She frowns and sets her lunch onto the coffee table, folding her arms across her chest. "What exactly do you have against him, Christian?"

"He's in love with Ana,"

Blurting it out wasn't fucking part of my plan but there's only so long I can stand her looking at me like that before I snapped. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops. She pales a good three shades lighter, her fresh spray tan doing nothing to hide the natural cream of her complexion right now. I want to reach for her but I don't, I need her to process this before I make a move and offer her comfort.

"He's _what _now?"

"He always has been, Mimi and even though it fucking kills me to admit it, I think he always will be."

She doesn't say anything. She just stares at me with wide, shocked eyes. I expect a lip wobble, a lone tear falling but it doesn't happen. She's just staring right through me like I'm not even here.

"He loves her?"

"Yes."

"Does Ana know?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god," Mia drops her face into her hands and groans loudly, banging her heel against the floor. "That's why…fuck it all makes sense now. That's why you didn't want him there, wasn't it? And Ana? Christian she looked like she wanted to be sick. How the hell didn't I _see _this?"

"Mia, stop." I reach for her hand and pull it away from her face, wrapping an arm around her as she drops her head onto my shoulder. "This isn't your fault. You didn't know because I didn't tell you, I didn't want you to know."

"So why are you telling me now?"

"Because I'm fucking scared you're about to fall in love with him."

"What?" She lifts her head and glares at me before jumping to her feet, her Manalo's pacing the floor as she scrubs a hand over her eyes. "I haven't even been on a date with him, Christian. Why the hell are you expecting me to fall in _love _with him?"

"I just know-"

"You know what? You know how naïve and pathetic I am when it comes to men?"

"No," I huff. "That's not what I'm getting at, Mia."

"What _are _you getting at then?"

"I just don't want you getting hurt. You defended him like fuck when I told you I didn't want the bastard near you,"

"So?!" She shrieks. "I wasn't defending Ethan, I was defending Kate's _brother! _I just couldn't figure out why you were so hell bent on hating him, Christian. I didn't defend him because I fucking love him!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know that?" I rise with a growl, suddenly feeling the need to intimidate my little sister because that's what I'm used to. This - her defiance against me? This I am not used to. "Kate told Ana you were fucking flirting, Mia and the next thing I know you're inviting him to dinner. I was-"

"Adding two and two together and getting five like you always do. I told you I wasn't dating him,"

"Okay, you're not dating him." I hold my hands up in defence with a dramatic as fuck sigh. "But that doesn't mean you won't."

"After what you've just told me? Christian I don't plan on ever talking to him again. The guy used me to get to my sister-in-law, do you really think I'm that desperate?"

"Of course I fucking don't but the bastard is sly, Mia. You've just said it yourself, he's been using you to get to Ana. Who knows what else he's capable of."

"Listen to yourself," She laughs and shakes her head as I frown in confusion. Since when did this become fucking funny? "Why are you talking like he's already won? You're a Grey, Christian. _We're _Grey's. Since when did we let anyone get the better of us?"

"This isn't a fucking business deal, Mia." I run both hands through my hair and puff my cheeks out. "We're not fighting with Coping Together benefactors or plotting against dad's shady clients after they've tried to fuck him over. This is my _fiancée._ The bastard is in love with my fiancée."

"Exactly! Ana is the most important thing in your world and he wants it. What the hell are you doing about it?"

"I'm keeping you the fuck away from him. He can only get to Ana through _you_."

"And Kate. Or have you forgotten about that?"

"Kate's on our side. She loves her dickhead brother but her loyalty lies with us."

"Wait a second," She holds her hand up, silencing me. "Kate knows? Was I the only person oblivious here?"

"It wasn't intentional, Mia. It's not like we all got fucking together and plotted behind your back, we were all shitting it. This whole situation is just so fucked up and I don't know what to do about it." I tug at my tie and give it a good yank, my throat suddenly feeling tight and constricted. "I don't give a shit about getting one up on him, I just want him away from my family."

Mia drops her gaze and bows her head for several seconds before making her way back to the couch, sinking down with a heavy thud like she's got the weight of the world on her shoulders. I look down at her, my mind flitting back to when she was just a child, loud and annoying as she pulled my hair and tried painting my face with mom's best lipstick. She may be this grown up twenty-one year old with a wise head and strong shoulders, but she will _always _be that little brat who I hated and adored all at the same time - and never did I envision being in a fucking situation such as this. She almost got herself involved with someone who prefers my fiancée over her. _Talk about rough. _

"I could have really liked him, you know?"

"What?" I literally do a double take.

"I fucking hate him now, but I thought he was genuine. How stupid can one person be,"

"Mia-"

"Don't tell me to stop blaming myself, Christian. I _don't _blame myself. I didn't fall in love with someone I shouldn't then lie and cheat about it, that was all him."

"Then what?" I sit down beside her and lean forward, hunching over my spread knees and balancing my weight on my elbows.

"I don't know," She whispers so quietly I barely heard her. "There was just something about him. Something endearing."

This is what I was fucking afraid of. She twists her chin to face me and for the first time today I see hurt shining behind those crystal clear orbs. She likes him, she might not want to _admit _that she likes him but she does, and it fucking sickens me. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me, her head flopping against my arm in defeat.

"I'm sorry, Mimi,"

"What are you apologising for?"

"I don't know," I kiss the crown of her head. "It just feels like the right thing to do, that's all."

"The right thing to do would have been you being honest with me from the start," She rears back to glare at me and that hurt expression is long gone, a scolding stare now in it's place and fixing me to the spot "What did you think you would achieve by keeping me in the dark?"

Time. Words. A fucking solution.

"I was an ass," I shrug and offer her a pathetic smile in the hopes she'll forgive me. I don't have to wait long.

"Does Ana know I'm here?"

"Fuck no," I snort through a chuckle. "She's aware that I wanted to tell you but other than that," I shake my head slowly. "No."

"I'll call her."

"Yeah?"

Mia reaches for an egg roll and takes a distracted bite, sighing heavily. She still looks devastated but I can see something else lurking there. Something darker. "I don't want her losing sleep over this, he's not worth that."

"She just doesn't want you blaming her. she's already lost a friend in Ethan and much as I hate to fucking admit it, he _was_ her friend." I mutter through clenched teeth. Just the thought of that bastard 'befriending' my baby pisses me the fuck off.

"She'd never lose me, Christian." She murmurs, still nibbling on that fucking egg roll. "She may be your fiancee but I loved her long before you decided to make the best decision of your life and propose,"

I smile because it's true. Asking Anastasia Steele to be my wife was the single most exhilarating moment of my entire twenty-eight years. Watching her face as realisation dawned on her when she saw me down on one bent knee was beautiful, and I just _know _the vision of her walking down the aisle to me will be even more breathtaking. Two weeks. Two weeks and everything will be exactly as it should be. _Mrs. Anastasia Grey._

Knocking her up before then wouldn't hurt either.

"Are we good?" I nudge her shoulder with mine and wiggle an eyebrow.

"S'pose."

"Is that a yes?"

A ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of her lips and I know I've got her. She'll be hurt and pissed off for a while but deep down I know it won't be aimed at me. I never thought I'd find myself saying this but I actually _pity _Ethan. Mia makes me look like a fucking pussy. She may come across as sweet and innocent with a head full of pink fluff and fucking unicorns but she has the ability to hit people where it really hurts and it's scary. I'd like to take all the credit but the truth is she's feisty and tenacious in her own right. I just rub off on her from time to time.

"You're a jackass. Do you know that?"

"Of course," I smirk and bump shoulders with her again. "Just remember we're one and the same, Mimi. Any trait of mine is yours and twice as vicious. We fight for the people we love and we fight fucking hard."

* * *

"You look like you need something stronger. Everything okay?"

Chilled beer travels down my throat as I tip my head back, my eyes trained on my girl the entire time as she curls up on the couch beside me and tucks her long legs beneath her sweet ass. I sat and watched in silence as she talked and giggled with Jen over Gail's chicken pot pie, her eyes twinkling whenever the wedding came up.

I couldn't fight the smile when Jen asked about her dress. Ana glanced up at me with an adorable blush and shook her head, leaning into her Aunt's ear and whispering something unintended for me to hear. Instead of grilling her for hints like I usually do, I squeezed her thigh and shot her a wink that made her blush all over again but for entirely different reasons. She's excited. She's excited for our wedding day and I couldn't be more fucking thrilled.

"Just a shitty day," I tell her, curling a strand of thick, chocolate hair around my finger. "Nothing for you to worry about."

"Christian, everything you do worries me. Tell me,"

I lean in to kiss her with a smirk on my face, literally fucking groaning as soon as our lips touch. "How was your day with Jen?"

"And now you're deflecting," She sips her tea with an eye roll and my cock twitches. "Don't make me force it out of you,"

"Oh yeah? How the hell are you planning on doing that?"

"I'll cut you off for a week,"

"Cut me off?" I frown.

"Sex," She smirks a fucking devilish smirk and sips her tea again like we're talking about the weather. "Better still, I'll cut you off until the wedding."

"Baby," I laugh loudly and shake my head. "I feel like we've had this fucking conversation before, look how that turned out."

I reach for her chest and circle her nipple with my thumb through the fabric of her tiny tank top. Ana shivers and her eyes flutter, I'm practically fucking giddy. There's nothing more satisfying than watching her respond to me in the way she does. It's like she's attuned to me. "You're doing it again,"

"Doing what?" I flick my tongue against the swell of her left tit but she swats my face away before I can sink my teeth in to her flesh.

"Deflecting. Stop it."

"You were the one who made this about sex,"

"I was joking, Christian." She huffs, sounding pissed off. "I just want you to talk to me."

"I didn't want to discuss this tonight, Anastasia. Not with Jen here."

"Jen?" She frowns. "What does Jen have to do with us talking?"

"I just don't want you anymore stressed out. After last night…"

My fingers trace her plump lips before moving to her jaw line, her eyes staring right into mine as I caress her skin like she's made out of glass. She's so fucking beautiful it actually hurts to look at her.

"Last night was last night, Christian. I've told you I'm okay now."

"Are you, though?"

"I needed to cry," She whispers and bows her head, her fingernails picking at the French polish on her toes. "It was the release I'd been waiting for and you know it. I'm okay, I promise I'm okay. So will you _please _just tell me what's bothering you because I know there's something."

There's no point in lying. This woman sees right through me and then some, she always has done. "Mia came to see me today."

"She did?"

"I asked her to," Ana's eyes widen a fraction as she realises what it is I'm getting at. Her fingernails continue with their slight scratching but other than that she doesn't move. "She knows everything."

"How did she react?"

"Like we thought she would," I sigh and reach for her hand, entwining our fingers together over the back of the couch. "She yelled at me, cursed a little. She didn't cry though, for some reason I thought she would."

"Did she…did she say anything about me?" My sweet, sweet girl. She's still convinced that Mia will blame her. She's so loving and giving, she loves my family and Mia is more like another sister to her.

"She's laying all the blame at Ethan's door, baby, like we knew she would. She's hurt and she's pissed off but not with you. Never with you."

"Really?" Her shoulders literally sag relief and it's all I can do not to crush her to my chest and never let her go. She's so vulnerable. "Ethan _will _twist this around on me, Christian. He'll make it sound like I chased him and led him on. You're sure Mia won't believe him?"

"Ethan can say whatever the fuck he wants, Ana. Blood is thicker than water and it's about time pretty boy realised that."

"I'm not blood,"

"You're as good as," I roll my eyes when I hear it, realising how weirdly perverted that sounded even to my own ears. "I just mean you're family. You're my family which makes you Mia's family."

Her thumb strokes my knuckles in lazy circles and my eyes drop to where our hands join, her ring twinkling when the light hits the diamond at just the right angle. "Why did you think this would stress me out?"

"Ana, you were fucking terrified Mia would blame you, and you still haven't told me what happened with Jen today. Did she call Ray?"

"No," She sighs and drops her head back, hitting the edge of the couch. " She picked up the phone at least five times but never got any further than unlocking it. She's shit scared, Christian."

"Were they ever?" I wag my eyebrows suggestively. "You know…"

"No. What?"

"Together?"

She looks at me for a second before bursting into a loud laugh, her eyes watering with hysterical tears as she shakes her head and waves an erratic hand in front of her face. "What!"

"It's a fair enough question, Ana. She must be nervous for a reason, that's all I'm saying."

"God, Christian, not because of that! Dad wouldn't even know what to do with Jen."

"What?" I scoff. "Why wouldn't he? She's fucking hot!"

It's a cliché saying and I hate it, but right now it fucking applies. If looks could kill I'd be stone cold on the floor and I know for a fact she wouldn't even bother resuscitating me. Her tongue rolls around in her mouth and her eyes narrow into slits. I awkwardly clear my throat, smirking as my hand reaches for her neck in the attempt to pull her in for a kiss but she shoves me away.

"Way to kill the mood, Grey."

"I didn't mean it like that," My voice is high and squeaky and I'm fully aware that I sound like a little bitch right now. "She reminds me of you, that's all. She has your hair."

"Why don't I just hand you a shovel? Then you can really dig yourself that hole,"

She's still glaring at me like I'm the devil but there's a glint in her eye now, humour lurking quietly. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that but it doesn't make it any less true. Granted, she isn't 'Ana' hot but no-one can say Jen isn't attractive. She has the same baby blue eyes and from the back you wouldn't be able to even tell Ana and Jen apart they look that similar. Despite all that I've heard about Carla, I haven't even seen a picture of her but something tells me Anastasia gets all her beauty from Jen and not her mother.

"All I'm saying is, I can understand if Ray finds her attractive."

"Well he doesn't,"

She circles the rim of her cup with her index finger as her lips curl into a sexy as fuck smirk. How long has it been since I was inside her? Twenty-four hours? More? I can't even fucking look at her without my dick jumping into action, ready to fuck her senseless. She must have had her hair up today because it's curled around her tits in soft, fluffy waves. Her face is void of make-up and her skin looks freshly moisturised.

Do all men fantasise about their wives like this? It sounds so fucking cheesy and pathetic but this woman is on my mind 24/7. I miss her even when she's sitting right next to me, close is never close enough with Anastasia Steele.

My eyes flicker to her stomach as I lift the beer bottle to my lips. She's so fucking tiny and slim, her muscles are taut and toned and there isn't one roll of fat in sight. What will she look like when she's pregnant? I mean those _really _early stages. Will I be able to tell? Will Ana be able to tell? My heart splits in fucking half when I picture her with this tiny pouch that will hold our baby - keep it safe and protected.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"You're staring at me with a huge grin on your face," I swipe my cheeks instinctively like I'm able to wipe the thing away but I can't. "What are you thinking about,"

"You. Pregnant."

If I thought I couldn't take anymore before, that sure as shit flies out of the window when Ana's hand drops to her stomach on pure, maternal instinct. Her perfect little hand strokes her skin over the thin cotton of her tank top and her eyes are following each and every glide of her hand. She feels it. She feels that urge now, that urge to become a parent to our child. It's something I never thought would happen in a million years.

"I don't think it's happened yet,"

"Baby, we've only been trying for a week." I set my now half empty Budvar onto the coffee table and stretch out on the couch, propping myself up onto my elbow and laying my hand over hers. "It could take months."

"Will you be disappointed if it does?"

"What? Of course not," I lift the hem of her top and press my lips to the skin just below her naval, my dick straining against the zipper of my slacks when she shudders. "It takes as long as it takes and besides, it just gives me an excuse to keep fucking your brains out." She shivers when I kiss her again but this time a soft little whimper escapes her lips. "Do you like that?"

"Yes," She breathes.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes,"

"Where's Jen?" I kiss her again but harder this time, my tongue laving at her quivering flesh.

"In the shower," She gasps. "She'll r..read for a while before coming back down,"

"That gives us what, an hour?" I waste no time in jumping to my feet, hooking her legs around my waist and making her squeal. Her arms circle my neck and her lips descend to mine, nibbling and sucking away like she wants to devour me. "I can work with that,"

* * *

**Visuals for this chapter are available on my Pinterest board - Forever in Love. **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five - Bad Day.

* * *

_Author's note: This chapter was meant for yesterday but for some reason FF didn't want to upload it. I don't know if it was a technical glitch on my behalf but I can only apologise for the delay. For some reason, the new chapter alert went out despite the upload failure, and I'd like to thank each and every one of my readers who pointed that out to me._

_It's late…But enjoy!_

_The saga continues…_

* * *

Anastasia's POV

On Monday morning I find Fran waiting for me with a tall latte and a devious grin on her face. She tosses her red mane over one shoulder and perches her tiny butt on the edge of my desk, eyeing me over the rim of her coffee cup. I haven't spoken to her since my bridal shower and I just know she's dying to get the dirt, digging for juice on Jen. Of course, Fran doesn't know a thing about Morton so the details are somewhat vague. She just presumes that we lost touch over the years and that's the way I intend to keep it.

"Is she sticking around for the wedding?"

"She plans to head home tomorrow morning but she's definitely coming back."

Firing up my computer, email after email filters through and they're all from Heather. I'm beginning to wish I'd just let Mia take over all correspondence when she asked me four weeks ago, but I felt like a lazy bitch who didn't want anything to do with her own wedding so I said no - but Heather Manning is starting to wear thin on me and I don't know how much more I'll be able to take of her before I explode.

"What about your Bachelorette?"

"I asked her," I sigh and take a sip of my coffee. "She gave me the whole, too old for that kind of thing spiel so I dropped it. Grace isn't all that hot on the idea, either."

"I think that's wise," She throws me a wink and a sinful smirk spreads across her face. It nerves the hell out of me. "She seemed excited though? About you getting married?"

"Are you kidding? She's more excited than _me_, I couldn't shut her up. She wants to head down to Lakewold with us we go next Thursday to help with the final arrangements." My breathing starts to quicken when I mull over those words. _Next Thursday. Final arrangements. _"Holy fuck. I'm getting married next week."

"You're only just realising this now?"

"You know what I mean," I press my feet into the carpeted floor and spin my chair from side to side, tilting my head back and staring mindlessly at the ceiling. "Where the hell did eight weeks go?"

"God knows," Fran sighs, picks one of my pens up and starts tapping it against her thigh. "Hey, thanks for letting Luke have last night off by the way,"

"I'm guessing he spent the night at your place?"

I smirk lewdly and cock a curious eyebrow, the overwhelming scent of caffeine invading my nostrils as I lift the cup to my lips. I remember reading somewhere that women trying to conceive should keep drinking coffee to a bare minimum, or completely cut it out altogether. Christian is already making notes of what I can and can't eat, sending Gail off with a proscribed list of foods specifically just for me. I love him, but if he shoves anymore Tofu in my face I'll kick him in a place that definitely _will _affect our chances of getting pregnant. Despite my internal tirade I find myself setting the coffee down on my desk without even thinking.

"Of course," She grins and swings her legs out. "I can hardly walk,"

"Nice. I thought he looked awfully pleased with himself this morning."

"He fucking should," She scoffs and rolls her eyes." That guy got more head than what most men get throughout an entire _life _span. If he wasn't walking on air this morning then I'm definitely doing something wrong."

By 11AM I'm flushed and cranky. I'm on manuscript number four, I have a boat load of unread emails pinging away every five fucking seconds and the copier is broken, the jerk in maintenance pissing me off by refusing to cooperate and throwing cheesy as fuck lines down the phone. I just _know_ he's one of those overweight perverts who's never been able to hold down a long term girlfriend, his right hand quickly becoming his best friend. I refrain from telling him to go fuck himself and hang up with a snarl.

Logan has been out of the office for the past four days and I'm rapidly starting to notice his presence. He's attending a conference in Florida and he won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. I want to believe that I'm pissed off purely because he's left me in the shit but that isn't really the issue at all, I'm merely frustrated because I couldn't go with him. He offered me the opportunity to tag along but almost a week away from home just isn't an option for me right now. Christian agreed to keep business trips to a minimum and I have to extend the same courtesy to him, our wedding is less than two weeks away and everything else needs to play second fiddle until I become Mrs. Grey.

Not that I'd have it any other way. I'm just in a sour faced mood because I didn't finish that coffee Fran made me this morning.

I'm responding to a potential illustrator when an email from my dad pops up, my fingers freezing mid tap. I remember telling him that the easiest way to reach me at work was via email but never has he _actually_ tried contacting me. There's no need, we either talk on the phone almost every night or we Skype. I circle the mouse and let the curser hover over the email with shaking fingers for a few seconds while I psyche myself up. There's no subject line.

There can't be a problem. I'd know about it by now if there was, surely? Christian, Sawyer or Taylor would've burst into SIP long before now if there was an actual serious issue at hand.

**I received a phone call from Jen this morning. Were you ever going to tell me she's staying with you? **

I sag with physical relief when I realise he's okay. He's not hurt. But that doesn't stop my teeth sinking into my lower lip nervously as I re-read those two sentences over and over again. _Is he mad with me? _On one hand, I'm relieved Jen finally plucked up the courage to call him but on the other hand, my mind's running away with itself.

What did they talk about?

Did she tell him about Morton and Lucas? _Shit, I hope not. That isn__'__t something I want in his head every time he closes his eyes at night. _

I contemplate calling him but quickly decide against it, I'm at work and a telephone brawl with my father isn't exactly on my agenda this afternoon. So I take the coward's way out and email him back, hoping and praying that I sound as contrite as I feel.

**I****'****m sorry. She wanted to be the first person to contact you. I****'****ll call you tonight and explain. I love you. **

I feel pathetic, I _sound _pathetic - but I don't have the time nor the strength to deal with Raymond Steele right now. I love him; God do l love him, but I'm fully aware that I get my stubborn streak from him and him alone, and stubbornness isn't something I can tolerate while I'm in this foul mood.

* * *

"Do you want me to come down? We can go for lunch?"

"Thank you, but no. I've got a ton of shit to get through before leaving tonight. Rain check?"

Even through the phone I can tell he's tugging at his hair and for some unknown reason it stirs something below the waistband of my La Perla panties. Just picturing him at his desk all mussed up and sexy, so powerful and strong as he rules his part of the world. So in control. Master of the Universe.

"Babe? You okay? You sound all breathless."

"I'm fine," I reply a little too quickly. "I just miss you,"

"You've got it _bad,__"_

"Are you complaining?"

He's grinning. I can practically hear it. Not that I can talk, I may have the phone wedged between my ear and my shoulder blade and I may be sifting through a mountain full of jumbled paperwork but I'm still grinning like the lovesick fool I am. I've shed my lightweight blazer and my hair is hanging down my back with a few strands stuck to my neck. _Why is it so damn hot in here? _

I'm quick to realise it's because I'm talking to my sex God of a fiancé. He could warm up a fucking igloo just by looking at me. Plus the fact that we were interrupted mid sex this morning isn't helping matters whatsoever, we had both forgotten Jen was in the apartment and hearing her soft voice as she knocked on the bedroom door, asking if we wanted coffee bringing just as Christian pulled me on top of him with his cock seated deep inside me, well it was like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over me. Neither of us got the finish we were hoping for and I've been horny as hell all morning.

"So I was thinking we could all go out for dinner tonight? Get Jen out of the apartment before she heads home."

"I need to call my dad, Christian." I huff. "I don't know if I'll be in the socialising mood once I have, why don't we just order in."

"Baby, don't sweat it. He's just pissed off because he heard it from Jen instead of you, he'll soon calm the fuck down once you've pitched him your side."

"You think?"

"I _know. _Trust me on this, Ana." I sink down into the chair behind me and rub my fingers across my forehead. It isn't even lunchtime, yet I feel like I've already worked a twelve hour day. My stomach is grumbling and my lips are dry, I don't think I've even had a damn drink since 9:30 this morning. "You're quiet and it's fucking worrying me."

"I'm fine, baby. Just swamped, that's all. Two called in sick this morning and with Logan away it's just another thing to deal with."

"Bastard better appreciate what you're doing for him," He grumbles lowly. "Don't let him take advantage of you."

_Here we go__…_

"What's that supposed to mean?" I toss a thick file back onto the desk when I discover it's the wrong one, sighing heavily and grumbling to myself in annoyance.

"You may be his assistant but you're not his fucking lap dog, Anastasia. Sawyer informed me you stayed late _twice _while I was in New York." _Fucking Sawyer! _"Why the fuck did _you_ stick behind after every other fucker has pissed off? Not to mention the security team who are paid to keep all members of staff safe?"

"First of all," I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose tightly. I can feel the start of a damn headache pounding at my temples which just frustrates me even more. "He doesn't treat me like a lap dog, if I offer to go above and beyond for him it's because I _want _to not because he makes me. You know what this job means to me, Christian. The security team didn't go home either and even if they had, the CCTV records through the night."

"Is that supposed to make-"

"I'm not finished!" I cut him off sharply, bowing my head when I notice several pairs of eyes peering over computer screens to look at me. "I'm sure Sawyer oh so conveniently failed to mention that I only stayed late because we were prepping for a presentation and Logan couldn't stick around. Sarah called-"

"I bet she did," He murmurs with such arrogant sarcasm all I want to do is reach through the phone and punch him in the face. "He shouldn't let his personal life affect his job, Anastasia."

"Oh yeah right, because you've never let Andrea take the brunt of your foul mouthed shit stick whenever we've had a fight, have you?" I snort derisively. "And _stop _calling me Anastasia!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you today?" He growls before pulling the phone away from his ear to grumble at someone close by. Is he in a meeting? Is he _seriously _having this discussion with me during a meeting?

"I've already told you that I'm busy, Christian and you're not helping me! You've done nothing but stifle me all day and it's starting to piss me off."

"I'm stifling you?" He asks, clearly appalled and I know I've gone too far. I don't even know where the hell that came from. "Well, I'll just fuck off then if I'm _stifling _you so much."

"Christian, I didn't-"

"Don't bother. I'll see you tonight."

I close my eyes and drop my head back when the line goes dead. Part of me is pissed off that he hung up without hearing me out but the other part of me understands completely. I acted like a neurotic bitch and then some. _All he did was ask me if I wanted to go for lunch. _

I quickly redial his number but it just rings and rings, eventually cutting to voicemail a good two minutes later. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm blaming everything and everyone for my vile mood but the truth is, I felt grumpy as hell before I even got in the shower this morning. It isn't because of Logan or Jen or Ray and it _definitely _isn't because of Christian, if anything he's been the only one keeping me sane and now I've gone and fucked that up, too.

I lean forward, bang my head against the desk and mumble profanity after profanity under my breath, only bothering to edge back into the real world when my phone rings for the third time in a row.

"Seattle Independent Publishing, Anastasia Steele speaking,"

* * *

"I'll be back here if you need me, Ma'am."

Sawyer points to the hallway leading to Taylor's office with his thumb and I roll my eyes. What's the worst that can happen in the confines of my own home anyway? I'm practically locked in. I refrain from throwing a sarcastic retort his way and smile instead, nodding my head and waving him off as I slide out of my shoes and flex my toes.

Jen won't be here. She called at lunch to tell me she's going grocery shopping with Gail and judging by the mildly warm temperature of the kettle, they've not long left. I'm just pleased she's out of this damn apartment and seeing some of Seattle because I'm doing a shit ass job of entertaining her so far. Christian was right about taking her to dinner tonight, she's been stuck inside all weekend and I promised we'd spend quality time together before she heads back home. _Quality time together my ass__…_

Would Christian even want to go now? Is he still pissed with me? I wouldn't blame him if he was, I snapped at him and it was totally uncalled for. His comments about Logan may have been true on some small level but they still hit a nerve and I don't know why, I know I've been pushing myself to the limit, and I _know _I'm letting my boss take advantage of me when he's going through what I'm _certain _is a vile and messy divorce but I don't know what the fuck else to do.

I've finally got the career I've always wanted and I'll be damned if I let opportunities pass just because I'm Christian Grey's fiancée. They all expect me to sit at home and play the perfect housewife, even _Christian _expects that of me but he knows he'd be playing with fire if that conversation ever came up. I'm marrying him, I'm ready to carry his child and play house but that doesn't mean I'm willing to throw away everything I've worked hard for on a whim.

I'm almost one hundred percent sure he's expecting me to take a step back once I'm pregnant but I don't know how to tell him that _won__'__t _be happening. I'd never sacrifice the health of our child for anything, if I were to suffer with complications of any sort I'd bow out and refuse to ever work again. But for now I'm still _me. _I'm still Ana.

Chilled wine fills the largest glass I could find when I hear the distant beep of the elevator arriving at the foyer. With a flick of my wrist, I check my watch and see it's barely even 6PM. Designer shoes tap against the marbled floor and the sound of keys jangling fills the air, Christian rounds the corner with his hands already pulling at his tie and a cold stare glazing those beautiful gray orbs.

He stops when he sees me, staring me down for a good thirty seconds before shaking his head and stalking out of the kitchen - but not before snatching my wine out of my hand mid swallow, throwing the glass back and drinking the whole thing in one gulp.

_Yep. Still pissed off._

I know I should let him cool off and I _know _I definitely shouldn't follow him into his office but the stubborn part of me wins out, my feet padding across the length of the room before I can even register the door slamming in my face. _Not like that will stop me. _

"You can't ignore me."

Nothing. Not even a glance in my direction.

"Christian?"

"Not now, Anastasia."

He tosses his now crumpled tie onto the desk and sinks down into the leather chair behind his knees with a heavy huff. He looks tired, drained and angry. His hair is a mess and his shirt is hanging out of his trousers, if I were the type I'd be accusing him of something along the lines of cheating right about now but I'm not, and I know he hasn't. This dishevelled god of a man is just a product of my bitching and nothing more. _I wonder how many heads have rolled at GEH today? _

"When, then? I need to talk-"

"You need to talk to me?" He lifts his head and looks me dead in the eye. I'm still grasping the door knob and I'm yet to take a single step into the room but I can't bring myself to break the gaze he has me locked in. It's way too intense. "Funny that. You didn't seem all that hot on the idea, earlier."

"Christian," I sigh and drop my head back. "I didn't mean what I said, you just caught me at a bad time that's all. I had the morning from hell and when you called…I don't know, I guess I just snapped."

He's just staring at me, boring holes into the front of my skull and fuck if it doesn't scare the shit out of me. I don't know where my head was at when I thought he'd just drop this without another word, _of course _he wouldn't. That's too simple and straightforward for Christian Grey.

"You don't think my morning was just as fucking shitty?" He asks me, jamming his finger against the power button on his laptop and firing it up. "You don't think I had a lot to deal with?"

I don't say anything, I just bow my head and stare at my bare feet as they shuffle against the floor. Why do I feel like a teenager getting scolded by her father right now?

"I'm working every hour of the fucking day because in less than two weeks we'll be out of the country on our honeymoon, Anastasia." _At least he__'__s confirmed we__'__re leaving the country. _"I have thousands of people relying on me for just about fucking everything and in two weeks, I wont be around to pick up the pieces when shit hits the fan."

"But Ros will-"

"_Let_ me fucking finish." His voice is low and cold, a sharp edge cutting the tip of his tongue as each word rolls out of his perfect mouth. "I don't enjoy leaving you alone in bed at the crack of fucking dawn and I don't enjoy having a ten minute only conversation with you over dinner but I do it. I do it because people rely on me so when I feel the need to call my fiancée for a few fucking seconds of normalcy, I don't expect her to accuse me of _stifling _her. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"Yes," It's only a whisper but it's all I can get out. I'm too afraid to speak any louder.

"See, I don't think you do." He's out of his chair now and heading straight for me. I swallow loudly as my grip on the door knob tightens, jumping out of my skin when his palm flattens against the cherry wood, slamming it shut behind me. "I don't think you realise that hearing your voice is like a fucking balm for me. I don't think you realise the affect you have on me just by telling me you love me,"

My heart drops into my stomach. His eyes are staring straight into mine and his chest is heaving with rapid breaths. _Is he turned on? Fuck that, am __**I **__turned on? _It takes less than a second for me to feel the all too familiar clenching deep in my core and one look at Christian I can tell he's trying to guess just how wet I actually am.

"You make all the shitty days better, Ana, you always have done and nothing - _nothing _even comes to close to how happy hearing your voice makes me."

I want to jump in with a witty remark about a few other things that have proven to make him happy but I don't. Somehow I don't think he'd appreciate any smart ass comments.

"I do reali-"

Christian's finger pressing against my lips shuts me the hell up instantly. He still looks angry and dare I say it - _hurt? _But he doesn't have that crazed look in his eyes anymore making my shoulders slump slightly.

"You keep interrupting me. Have I ever told you that I fucking hate it when you interrupt me?"

I don't even have time to answer before his lips crash down hard onto mine. His hands clumsily reach for my face and his fingers curl around each side of my jaw, one hand sliding into my hair and fisting roughly at the roots. I don't know when I started to respond but the metallic tang of blood coating my lip brings me back to the here and now. _He bit me? _I don't even pretend to act pissed off, it turned me on and he knows it.

My tongue attacks his with wet strong lashes and my hands reach for his in my hair. I don't know what I'm pulling at him for. I can't figure out if I want him to stop or give me more but I'm somewhat relieved when he tears his mouth away and pushes a tendril of hair out of my flushed face. _What in the hell? _

"Do you have any idea how much I want to fuck the ever loving shit out of you right now?"

A deer in headlights. I'm pretty sure that's _exactly _what my face resembles and the notion causes my cheeks to flush with embarrassment. Anyone would think I'm a virgin about to get laid for the first time.

"I uhh…I…"

"Because I do," His hand slides down to my cheek and he squeezes tenderly, the sensation shooting straight to my groin. "So fucking much."

He needs me. He needed me today when he called but I was too much of a selfish bitch to even realise, I made him feel like shit and for that I feel nothing but a mixture of shame and mortification. He _has _been working every hour of the damn day and I'm fully aware that it's all for me, he's never had to take time off before I came into his life. He's never had to worry about projects going south or staff needing something he can't provide because he isn't there.

I'm distracting him from the one thing that keeps him sane and for that reason alone, I break out of his hold and spin on my heel, my eyes already pooling with pathetic tears. I can't even give him hard, rough sex when he needs it the most. Christian doesn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around my stomach and kissing the back of my head softly, his erection is stiff against my lower back and his breathing is still heavy which only makes me feel shittier.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm fucking everything up," I choke back a sob, covering my mouth with my hand. "I don't know what's wrong with me!"

"Come here,"

Christian spins me around and crushes me to his chest, one strong hand cupping the nape of my neck as the other glides up and down my back in slow, soothing strokes. He smells so good, like a man. _My man. _I want nothing more than to be naked with him, tangled in bed sheets as he moves in and out of me but I can't do anything about it. My emotions are taking over and it's pissing me off. The most frustrating thing is that I don't even know why I'm feeling like _this._

"I didn't mean to yell at you earlier," I sniff into his shirt. "I upset you and you didn't even do anything wrong."

"I don't give a fuck about that, Ana. The only thing I care about," His hands pull me back and frame my face, his nose only mere inches away from mine. "is you. Talk to me."

"I wouldn't even know where to start, Christian."

"Try."

Picking up the phone on his desk, he speed dials Taylor and asks him to bring some wine through to us. I frown and tell him that I'm perfectly capable of going myself but he fixes me to the spot with just a stare, tugging on my arm and forcing me to flop down onto the couch beside him. After a bottle of Cabernet and two fresh glasses are placed onto the table I push my hair back and curl my feet up underneath me.

I want to ask why we're staying in here when we could talk in the bedroom or the living room but I don't, this may be his office but it's the one room throughout the entire apartment where I feel most closest to him and right now, that's what I need even though he's here with me. It just _screams _Christian Grey.

"I know you think I'm doing too much,"

"Did I say that?"

"You didn't need to," I mumble, taking a sip of my wine not even ten seconds after he fills my glass half way. "You don't like me working do you?"

"It's not that at all, Ana." He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. "You love your job and I'd never take it away from you, I just don't like you working stupid hours when you don't need to. It's not like we're strapped for cash is it."

"It's not even about the money, Christian." I growl louder than I wanted to. His comment about 'taking it away from me' stung more than I thought it would. Does he really think he could stop me from working even if he wanted to? "I do what I do because I love it. I'd do it for free it means that much to me."

"And I get that, I do honestly."

"I'm sensing a but here," I'm already on the defence and prepared to attack. He's got that look in his eye and I don't like it.

"You won't like it."

"I've already picked up on that. I suggest you just tell me, Christian because I'm already thinking the worst."

Long fingers curl around his wine goblet as he lifts the glass to his lips. My eyes drop to his perfectly sculptured mouth as he takes a sip and even though we're in the middle of…whatever _this _is - my body still reacts to him without my consent or control. It's damn annoying sometimes.

"Logan and Sarah are getting a divorce."

"How do you know that?"

"Ana, _everyone _knows that. You just don't like listening to gossip, and for that I love you, but it doesn't make the rumours any less true."

"I had my suspicions," I whisper quietly. "Ever since Bryce's launch I knew something wasn't right but I've never questioned him on it."

"Rightfully so. I'd hit the fucking roof if Andrea dared to ask me something as personal as that."

Christian grimaces and closes his eyes and I know it's because he's picturing a scenario which results in us legally separating. That will never happen. I don't care what shit is thrown our way, I don't believe in divorce and I never have done. I grew up in a broken home and it _sucked,_ my parents are most definitely better apart but it didn't make the ordeal any less tough.

If they had stayed married I would've never been exposed to bastards like Morton. I would know what it feels like to be loved by two parents unconditionally always, I wouldn't have bounced between two homes and had two birthdays with two cakes and two parties. I would have been whole. I'll never put our child through heartache like that.

"Did she cheat?" I ask him, my finger circling the rim of my glass.

"I don't know. I'm not privy to the details but I'd like to think not, no-one deserves that."

"Why are you telling me this now? What does their divorce have to do with me?"

"His whole world has crashed down around his fucking feet, Anastasia." He leans forward and sets his glass onto the table, hunching over and propping his elbows against his spread knees. "He'll hate everything and everyone for a long fucking time. But at the same time he'll need comfort, he'll need someone to make him forget, to take all the hurt away."

"A woman you mean?" Christian's eyes find mine as he twitches his nose and nods his head. I can sense the implication lingering but I don't think I want to even ask him if he's getting at what I think he's getting at. It's ludicrous on so many levels. "You think…"

"I know you would never react or respond, baby." He jumps in quickly. "I don't doubt your loyalty to me for a single fucking second."

"But you still think Logan will try something? With _me_?" I'm pretty sure my eyes are the size of saucers right now. "Christian, that's insane!"

"How is it? He's a man going through a messy split, he's lost the one woman who ever meant anything to him and he has no-one to turn to. Then there's you," My fiancé adjusts his position and turns to face me, his face animated and his eyes wide. "His beautiful, hot as fuck assistant who is the only person to be in constant contact with him every second of the fucking day. He gets a bit emotional, you're there, it doesn't take a genius to work out what I'm implying here, Anastasia."

"Oh, no I know full well what you're implying, Christian." I jump up and dodge the corner of the table as I move to stand in front of him. "You think my boss will try to fuck me!"

"I didn't say fuck," He growls and rises just as fast, ripping his jacket off and throwing it down onto the couch. "I never said he'd try to fuck you. I mean kiss or get a little too close, that's all I'm getting at."

"Why do you men always think with your damn penis!" I wave my hands out in front of me wildly, pointing to Christian's groin with a raised eyebrow to prove my point. He's hard as per usual. "A divorce doesn't make him a sex crazed jackass! He's _never _acted inappropriately toward me, Christian and you _know _that. He's the only person outside of our family and friends who knows what Brody did to me. He'd never-"

"Fuck, don't you think I want to believe that." He almost bumps into me as he pushes past and stalks towards the window, pressing his hand against the glass and resting his head on his forearm. "He's a good guy, Ana. He adores - _adored _Sarah and never have I once felt threatened by him as far as you're concerned. But love makes you do crazy fucking things, he's grieving for the marriage he thought would last forever and grief too makes you do crazy things."

"Like making a pass at your assistant?" I pout with folded arms across my chest. I don't think for a second that Logan would cross the line but the delirious side of me can totally grasp Christian's way of thinking. Losing the person you love more than life itself is enough to send the most normal of people to the brink of insanity. "This is why you don't want me working?"

"It's not that I don't want you working, baby, I just don't want you working _alone. _Not with Logan, not yet anyway." His shoulders are tense and the muscles in his arms are taut. "Can you understand that?"

"Yes," I murmur. "It's crazy but yes, I can. Even though I do think you're over exaggerating slightly."

"When it comes to your protection and keeping you safe, I could never over exaggerate." Christian glances over his shoulder and the corners of his mouth twitch into a soft, small smile. God, he's beautiful. "So please don't lock yourself in that damn office without Sawyer being there, baby. I need you to promise me that."

"I won't,"

"Say it. Tell me you promise me,"

"I promise." I rush out quickly, nodding my head even though he can't see me. I know he needs my confirmation. "I understand."

"Good," He breathes and drops his shoulders before turning to face me, jerking his chin and curling one long finger in a come hither motion. I don't waste any time in falling into his arms. "I still don't know what's gotten you so upset today but I want you to tell me."

"That's just it, I don't know." I kiss the side of his mouth not once, but twice, stroking the soft skin at the nape of his neck. "I woke up in a vile mood and I guess I've just felt worse throughout the course of the day. Every little thing has pissed me off."

"Has Jen said anything to upset you?"

"No she's been wonderful, everything I've needed her to be and more it's just…strange having her back in my life I guess, after all this time."

"I get that." Christian smoothes my hair back and taps the end of my nose affectionately making my face twitch. "But it doesn't mean I like you crawling back into that head space baby, you isolate yourself away and shut me out and I don't fucking like it."

"I know." My voice is quiet and timid, much like my body language as he continues to caress my face like I'm a porcelain doll. "I just want to be your wife, Christian. I'm tired of waiting."

At that he breaks into the biggest grin I think I've ever seen, his eyes wide and bright and his perfect teeth a flash away from blinding me. His fingers skim my engagement ring and when he lifts my hand to his mouth, his lips pressing against the diamond I melt into a puddle of mush right here in the middle of his office.

The fire in my sex ignites once more but this time I don't even bother trying to stamp it out, I need him now. I need to feel him all over me. Various stacks of perfectly piled paperwork fly across the room when he tosses me across his desk and spreads my legs, hiking my dress up and tearing my flimsy thong away from my body without a second thought.

"Twelve days," He grunts when he pushes into me, his hands gripping my hips to steady himself before starting a rough, punishing pace. "Twelve days and you're mine."

* * *

"Are you mad?"

"Mad? No. Disappointed maybe, but I'm not mad."

Fuck, that's worse! I can handle my father being angry with me, I can handle him screaming and shouting but I can't handle disappointed. Christian's hand skims across my bare shoulder blade but he remains quiet. We're curled up on the couch in his office, naked and sated after fucking on every available surface known to man. It seems somewhat inappropriate calling my dad after my fiancé has made me cum more times than I can count but if I didn't do it now then I never would.

"I thought you were all for me getting in touch with Jen again?"

"I was…I _am. _I just didn't expect to hear her voice when I picked up the phone this morning, Annie. I haven't spoken to the woman in over nine years, it was just a shock."

"I should have called first to warn you and I know that, but she really needed to do this herself, dad. Can't you understand that?"

"She sounded seconds away from breaking down," I can hear him muting the sound on the television, his old battered arm chair rustles in the background and I can just picture him with his feet up on the coffee table, a beer in his hand with ESPN blaring out loud enough for the neighbours to hear. Nostalgia can be a real bitch sometimes. "I've never blamed her for what happened, but that doesn't mean I wasn't pissed as hell when she walked out on you, Ana. It was…beyond inexcusable."

"She knows." I drop my head back and close my eyes when I feel deft fingers running through my hair, my chignon fell loose as soon as he threw me over his desk. "You were championing her not all that long ago, though. What changed?"

"Hearing her apologise." He sighs heavily. "I guess it just brought it all back, all the hurt and the betrayal. That headspace isn't one I enjoy revisiting all that often, Annie."

I can hear the pain in his voice and it kills me. When will all this be over? I thought reconnecting with Jen would give me some closure and where it most definitely has, what if my dad can't handle having her back in our lives again? My aunt is the _spit _of my mother, she's bound to remind my dad of someone he doesn't enjoy remembering more than once every blue moon.

"Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

"God no! Baby, I would never ask you to do that. It was…well awkward at first but we hashed it all out, I _think _we're good."

"You think? You're giving me away in less than two weeks and Jen will be there on the front row watching, I need for you to be more than good, dad."

"Don't remind me." He grumbles a huff down the phone. "I still can't believe my baby girl is getting married. Would you mind telling me where the last twenty something years have gone?" I smile softly, linking fingers with Christian when he pulls me down into his hold and spoons me from behind. _Where did that blanket come from? _

"I'm still your little girl, daddy."

"Damn straight you are, I like Grey but he doesn't get to take you away from me completely. You're still my Annie."

"He knows," I snort. "Are you sure you can't come down any sooner?"

"Annie, you don't want me under your feet _trust _me. Your mother turned into Bridezilla the week before our wedding and I don't plan on being around when _you _do."

"I won't be turning into anything if I can help it. I'm still calm and collected."

Christian snorts a laugh in my ear and I can feel his chest rumble as he chuckles behind me. I twist my neck and shoot him a glare, narrowing my eyes and kicking his shin with the ball of my foot. Today was just a bad day, I'm still anything but a fucking Bridezilla.

"Have you told him that we're trying for a baby?" Christian asks after I hang up, reaching forward and sliding my phone onto the table.

"No, I haven't told anyone. I keep thinking that if we talk about it, it might jinx us. Have you?"

"What? Told your dad?"

"No, smart ass." He kisses my shoulder several times, his lips skating across the nape of my neck as his hand gropes my naked breast. "Have you told anyone?"

"Baby, I want nothing more than to scream it from the fucking roof tops but I wont, it's pressure we don't need yet." We lay quietly for several minutes, Christian's hand squeezing my boob over and over again as his lips remain glued to my skin. Then his hands freeze and his mouth pulls away from my neck. "What if…Ana, what if-"

"What? What's wrong?"

"Do you think you could be pregnant?"

I roll on to my back and turn to face the love of my life as he hovers over me. His hair is sticking every which way and his forehead still glistens with sweat, _he looks so beautiful_. For once his dick is flaccid but every time he shifts his position the soft, wet crown rubs against my thigh, arousing me beyond recognition.

"Pregnancy is always a possibility now, Christian, but no I don't. Even if I was it would be too soon to tell."

"It would _definitely_ explain your mood swings as of late," He pouts prettily and dips his head to kiss the tip of my nose. "And I swear these are getting bigger."

"They are not," I giggle, shaking my head when his hand covers one fleshy globe, giving my breast a firm squeeze. "Did I really piss you off that much today? You keep bringing it up."

"I'm over it now," He sighs and drops back down onto the couch, stretching his arm out so I can rest my head in the nook. "I was a whole other story six hours ago, though."

"I'm sorry,"

"Stop saying that." He chuckles. "I don't think I've ever heard you apologise as much as you have tonight."

"I'd love for a baby to be the reason for…whatever I was today but it's not. Remember those damn side affects you were researching last week?"

"Aaah-" He cocks his head and smiles that boyish smile I've become so accustomed to but I can still see disappointment lingering there. He wanted me to be pregnant, hell _I _wanted me to be pregnant. "Looks like you aren't totally immune then, baby."

"Hmm, so I'm not. I'll try to curb my temper though, I don't like it anymore than you do."

"It'll be more than worth it," Christian whispers into my ear, making me shiver as my toes curl with pleasure from having his lips so close to my face. "Our baby is worth anything."

"Even a bitchy wife?"

He snorts a laugh and pulls me in tighter, cupping my ass and hooking a leg over mine so I'm literally cocooned against him. "_Even _a bitchy wife."

* * *

Jen's a sobbing wreck by the time Sawyer loads her luggage into the trunk of her car the following morning. Her arms are wrapped around my neck as she rocks me from side to side like I'm a small child needing comfort, I'm squeezing her just as hard, needing her just as much as she needs me. Christian remains well back, leant against Taylor's SUV across the lot and tapping away on his Blackberry. He looks up every so often, flashing me a wink and a reassuring smile every time we lock eye contact.

"You don't need to leave, you know? You could always stay."

"I'd love nothing more, baby." Her soft, dainty hand strokes my cheek and her thumb swipes away my tears faster than they can fall. "But I have a job that needs me - and a dog. I'll be back before you know it."

I still can't believe she's only 29 miles away. I've gone ten years without seeing or hearing anything from her and all this time she's been living in damn Everett! Talk about on your doorstep. She showers my face with kisses, hugging me one last time before sliding into the driver's seat and throwing Christian a wave.

I choke back a sob as I watch her manoeuvre out of Escala's underground garage, her headlights flashing when she turns the corner and out of sight. _It's just a week - _I tell myself over and over again, sniffing back the tears and wrapping my arms around my mid-section in a bid to keep warm.

"Thursday will be here before you know it, baby."

Masculine arms circle my waist and strong hands grip my hips, pulling my ass flush against him as he nuzzles his nose into the side of my neck.

"She doesn't want to come to my bachelorette,"

"Can you blame her?" Christian chortles and curls his fingers around my elbow, steering me towards the waiting elevator. "Spending the day with a group of loud, rowdy women? Who the hell _would _be willingly up for that?"

"We're having a spa day, Christian." I deadpan. "It's not like I'm giving her a front row seat for the damn Chippendales."

"I think she'd much prefer that come to think of it,"

"It can be arranged, Grey." I nibble on my lower lip, shooting him a sideways glance through the corner of my eye. His arms are stretched out behind him, gripping the rail as he crosses one ankle over the other. _God_, _I could just sink to my knees right here and take him into my-_

"I'd give everything I own to know what's got you looking so flushed,"

"Huh?"

Blue eyes snap to devious greys, a smug smirk spreading across his perfect face as he pulls out a stick of gum from his pants pocket, popping it into his mouth. _Oh dear lord. _Christian Grey chewing gum is the single most hottest thing I've ever fucking seen. Just the _way _his jaw clenches as he chews…

"You look like you're picturing me naked."

"Well I'm not," I sass, pressing my back into the elevator wall as the cart leisurely whisks us towards the penthouse. "I'm picturing those male strippers instead, lathered in baby oil." He grins and shakes his head, looking every inch the bad boy he is and before I know it, I'm grinning right along with him.

"Oh, you'll pay for that, Miss. Steele."

"Is that a threat?"

"Now now," Like a predator stalking his pray, Christian stalks right on up to me and links our fingers together, pinning my arms above my head as his warm breath hits my face. "You should know I don't make threats, sweet girl." One swipe of his tongue across my lower lip and I'm putty, barely registering the ping of the elevator as it arrives at the foyer. "Now come on, I need to fuck you until you scream and I need to do it in less than fifteen minutes. Taylor's waiting."

* * *

Christian's POV

"Mr. Grey, this would be a lot easier if you could just stand still."

"You heard the woman, Elliot. Quit fucking moving."

He rolls his eyes with a petulant huff as Carmen measures his pant waist, patting his arms when she moves up to his chest. Luckily for us Carmen is a tall, thirty something married woman with hardly any sex appeal whatsoever. Her eyes are a striking shade of Jade green and her shoulder length, jet black hair complements her porcelain complexion perfectly but as for everything else waist down - no. Now I'm no fool, I'm pretty fucking positive that Ana sent Carmen instead of Melissa on purpose.

Not that I can blame her. Caroline Acton's assistant is a nose twitch away from face planting my brother's dick right about now, and Melissa is a size six blonde bombshell with the pert ass and double D's to finish her off. _My fiancée is nothing short of clever…_

"You're cutting this fucking close, Chris?" Dylan shifts a sleeping Henry in his arms and lays him across his closed knees, his hand looking gigantic against his son's tiny head as he supports his neck. "Not that I'm complaining. I hate shit like this."

"Ana was ready to chew my balls off so I couldn't put it off any longer, that woman has me in the palm of her fucking hand."

"Where is she today?"

"Bethany needed a final dress fitting. I told her to make a day of it."

"Yeah thanks for that, dick head." Elliot narrows his eyes as he stands stock still, his arms stretched out and looking every inch a jackass. "Kate told me all about your little, _'buy whatever you want' _bullshit. She'll spend my fucking money twice as fast just to keep up with Ana!"

"Shut up bitching, you can afford it."

"Bro, even _you _couldn't afford a woman like Kate. Last week she spent $600 on a fucking purse - a _purse. _What in the fuck is that about?"

I grin and shake my head, leaning forward to take a sip of my coffee. Elliot may give it all this talk but deep down he'd give Kate every penny he had if it meant making her happy. He loves that woman more than life itself and for a self-proclaimed man whore like Elliot Grey, that's saying fucking something. Carmen shoos him away with a flick of her wrist, rolling her eyes when he asks her what she means by a three-button or a four-button. Elliot just shrugs and hops down, swiping Henry out of Dylan's arms as he moves to take my brother's place.

"Look how fucking cute he is." Henry squirms in my brother's hold and fist bumps his own chin in protest, not liking it one iota when Elliot slides the tiny cap right off his head. "You got a lot of hair for a little guy,"

"Megan thinks it's already starting to fall out. I just go with it."

"What about his balls? They still swollen?"

"Nah," Dylan sighs almost sadly making me do a double take. "I knew they'd eventually shrink."

Elliot gently lowers himself onto the couch beside me and places Henry down between us, his little legs kicking out as he opens his eyes properly for the first time this afternoon. This kid is so fucking adorable I can hardly take it, not only that but he's reduced two former die-hard bachelors to sappy women just by making a fucking gurgling sound.

Dylan watches on with a cheesy grin as Carmen takes his measurements, he barely even registers her presence he's that focused on his little boy. I want to ask him what it feels like to be a father but I don't even know where to start. Did he love him straight away? What did he feel when he saw his baby for the first time? How could he bear to see the woman he loves in excruciating pain whilst giving birth? So many fucking questions rattle around my head but when I hold my hand out in front of Henry's face, every single one of them disappears as his tiny hand wraps around one finger, squeezing it with every ounce of strength he has.

If my throat can close up this much just by watching my best friend's little boy, what the fuck will I be like with my own child? How will I be able to cope? What could be more beautiful than watching my wife with our baby? Loving him and holding him, looking at him with those big blue eyes as she rocks him against her chest.

The sound of stilettos against the great room floor breaks me from my reverie, three women emerging around the corner and when I spot Olivia I'm suddenly thankful that Blake isn't here. He drove to Redmond late last night to take care of his mother after tripping down a flight of stairs and where I was pissed for the inconvenience this morning, I'm now thanking the fucking Lord for small mercies dressed in women who can't walk in six inch heels.

"Bethany threw up in the car," Ana offers as explanation when I ask her why they're finished so early. "I blame your Grandmother for force feeding her all that candy. As soon as she handed her that damn soda I _knew _she was ready to hurl."

Her eyes scan the room, trying to be as subtle as she can but it's no use. I know my woman and I know how impatient she is.

"There's nothing for you to see, baby." I smirk, flexing my finger as Henry tightens his hold on the digit. She frowns and pouts her lips, trying her hardest to look cute but I can see straight through her. She wants to see what I'll be wearing just as much as I want to see what she'll be wearing. _We're so fucking perfect together it's pathetic. _

"I don't even know what you're talking about," She drops her sunglasses onto the couch beside my knee and bends down almost completely, flashing the delectable swell of her tits as cleavage pokes out the top of her dress. "The only thing I'm interested in looking at is this perfect little guy,"

Why do women turn all high and squeaky as soon as they see a kid? It's like their volume level is cranked to fucking full blast. Sliding her hand underneath his head, Ana cups his little butt and lifts him off the couch, cradling Henry to her chest and rocking him from side to side as she hums a soft tune.

So this is what heaven looks like…

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Carmen is gone and my dining table is covered in tacos and salsa dip as Ana feeds the five hungry mouths who insisted on sticking around for a bite. My girl sips on a tall glass of water and sucks on a lemon wedge making my cock harden and my face twist in disgust all at the same time.

"You know where does great tacos?" Elliot pipes up mid chew, forcing a mouthful fit for King Kong down his throat. "Vegas. Tacos and tequila to be precise."

"Oh, will you just give it up already." Kate groans with a huff, shooting my brother a look that could kill. "We're not going to fucking Vegas, Elliot. Your constant whining won't change that and quite frankly, it's starting to piss me off."

"It's tradition!" He booms, wiping his mouth with a napkin. _At least he didn't use his hand. _"A drunken night at the Bellagio, watching a sleazy strip show. It's fucking _tradition. _So what does asshat over here want to do instead? Go for a fucking hike. Or some other boring shit of the same context."

He rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, reaching out to twirl a tendril of Kate's hair around his finger but she swats him away, bitching on about having tomato stains all over his hands. "We'll be doing more than that, Elliot and you know it."

"Can I just remind you that you're getting married next week? This weekend is your last one as a free man and you want to spend it at some shitty fucking lodge?"

I wouldn't call a private condo with slab granite furnishings, our own personal deck and Japanese Ofuro hot tubs 'shitty' but whatever. I'll let him have his sulk because I'm pretty fucking sure he'll snap out of it the second we pull up at Suncadia on Saturday morning. My brother knows that I hate the club scene and the fact that it's 'tradition' doesn't make the idea any more appealing. Ana and the girls will spend the day at Salish Spa and Lodge but they're still planning on hitting a few bars later that night, much to my chagrin.

She insists that it's what she wants but I can't help wondering if fucking Kate has been shoving her broom where it isn't wanted nor needed. I'm all for her spending the night at the spa but she soon shot that idea in the foot and when I suggested we all meet up at the lodge after our hike she all but had a panic attack. She isn't one for superstitious bull shit but as far as the wedding is concerned she's doing everything she can _not _to tempt fate. It's actually rather fucking adorable.

But that hasn't stopped me assigning a further two CPO's to accompany the girls wherever they want to go. She'll most probably knee me in the balls but if she thinks I'm about to let her roam the streets of Seattle seven days before becoming my wife she's got another thing coming. The press will be all fucking over her, the date for our wedding leaked weeks ago so we all know what to expect with the blood suckers as of right fucking now and it won't be pretty.

Her face scrunches up when Elliot refers to my bachelor party as the last blow out before I'm tied down to a ball and chain but instead of punching my idiot brother in the fucking face I take her hand and press my lips to her knuckles, flashing her a quick wink when she turns her head to the side to look at me. She doesn't have a thing to be worried about. The guys may be ripping me apart at every available opportunity but marrying this woman can't come a second too soon.

"Megan's still on the fence," Dylan mentions. "She knows her mom will be fine with the baby but I can tell she hates the thought of leaving him."

"Totally understandable, he isn't even a month old yet. Is she breastfeeding?"

"She tried but he struggled to take," I choke on a laugh when I clock Elliot's facial expression, no doubt picturing a screaming baby stuck to our best friend's wife's tit as he refuses to suck on. "She needs a break though," he continues after handing Olivia the salt. "I'm doing my fair share but that woman is a damn saint. She makes me look clueless."

"We could always arrange for a crib to be set up in one of the suites?" My sweet girl offers, unlocking the hold she has on my hand to squeeze my thigh instead. It's a small gesture, she probably didn't even think twice about doing it but that doesn't stop my heart from slamming into my rib cage at full force. _She needs to touch me. _"Grandma Trevelyan has already said she doesn't think she'll be able to last for the entire day, she could watch him while Megan hits the spa with us?"

"A baby at your bachelorette, Ana? Seriously?" Elliot rolls his eyes as his girlfriend slams her mouth shut, a sheepish smile on her lips when Dylan shakes his head with a quiet laugh. "I didn't mean that,"

"You're not wrong, though. I love the kid but he can scream fucking murder once he gets started."

"If Megan feels uncomfortable then it's not worth her leaving him," Olivia wipes the corner of her mouth and reaches for her water. "She's coming to the wedding and that's the main thing. Plus, it's not like she needs a wax or anything. I know full well that was all taken care of before popping little Henry out."

My head snaps up and my cock jumps to life having only just recovered from watching Ana suck on that lemon wedge. Wax? She'll be getting a wax? _Fucking yes! _My baby has always been smooth and well groomed but she knows I want her pussy completely bare for our wedding night. The tiny little landing strip her aesthetician convinced her to try out four weeks ago blew my fucking mind -_Who knew a patch of hair could be such a turn on? - _But I miss the feel of her silky lips against my mouth when I throw her legs over my shoulders and make her cum with just my tongue and my tongue alone.

Ana must sense me looking at her because her eyes find mine in a nano-second, a sexy as fuck blush creeping onto her cheeks when she scans my face and sees straight through me. She knows what I'm thinking and she _knows _it's making me hard. "Should I be excited, baby?" I bite down on the flesh of her ear lobe, grinning when she shivers.

"I don't know? Should you?"

"Oh, I think so." Dylan knocks over the pitcher of water when he reaches for more tacos sending the table into hysterics. Kate and Olivia spring to their feet, rushing into the kitchen for paper towels as Elliot grumbles something about nearly soaking his phone. Ana moves to help but my hand on her thigh holds her still, snaking underneath the hem of her knee-length dress and hooking into the side of her tiny g-string. "Does the thought of getting a wax turn you on, Ana?"

"N…no." I feel like a fucking king when her eyelashes flutter closed, fanning across her velvety soft cheek as she curls a dainty hand around my wrist. "Christian-"

"What?"

"Stop it."

"Now why would I do that?" One lone finger grazes her folds and when I press down onto her clit she jerks forward and grasps the edge of the table, clearing her throat and reaching for her water.

Our guests are still fumbling with sodden paper towels, Olivia using Gail's washcloth to mop up what's left of the water and accidentally catching a dollop of salsa in the process. I don't even have the heart to tell her that it's Gail's favourite because it doesn't smear the glasses when she dries them, all I can focus on is the wet heat between my woman's legs as my palm covers her sex.

"Will _you _be getting a wax?"

"I'm due for one," She mumbles somewhat breathlessly, a pang of disappointment shooting across her beautiful face when I pull my hand away. If I don't stop now I'll end up throwing her across the table and fucking her senseless, witnesses or not.

"Will you get what I asked?"

"Huh?"

She's struggling to regain her equilibrium, even when Kate frowns at her best friend as she tosses a soiled cloth onto the kitchen counter Ana still doesn't react. She's flushed and distracted and it turns me the fuck on, she'll be _wild _when I get her into bed tonight - clawing at the sheets, screaming like a banshee wild and I can't fucking wait.

"You know what I'm getting at, baby."

"I'd be sore after," She whispers behind the rim of her glass, wetting her mouth and shifting in her seat. "Like…_really _sore."

"Since when has that stopped you before? Skin on skin gets you off just as much as it gets me off and you know it." I'm filling my taco with a large spoon, tapping my foot to the background music of my iPod like we're discussing what to order in for dinner tomorrow night. Conversation around the table resumes as normal until Henry lets out a piercing screech, Dylan rushing to his stroller before anyone can even blink. "Soreness be damned, baby."

"I'd like to see _you _get waxed within an inch of your life, see how ready for sex you'd be after."

"I'd try anything once," I tell her with a sarcastic smirk, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips, her thumb swiping across her mouth when I leave a trace of tomato in my wake. She crosses one leg over the other, squares her shoulders and politely asks Elliot to uncork the bottle of Sancerre chilling in the wine cooler.

"I was thinking of getting something a little different, anyway." She murmurs innocently, her fingers tracing idle circles along the edge of the table. "Your initials maybe?"

And just like that, my food is forgotten and my cock is at full staff, angry and throbbing in the confines of my pants as the little minx catches her bottom lip between her teeth and shrugs her shoulders like she doesn't know what the hell she's just done to me. Elliot asks me if we need to take our own mountain bikes on Saturday but it's all white noise. The image of Ana's freshly waxed pussy, my initials the only thing marring her perfect little mound is enough to send me into overdrive and she knows it. The extra sass she puts into her strut as she heads into the kitchen to fetch fresh refreshments doesn't go unnoticed either.

_She is so getting fucked tonight. _


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six - The Final 'Blow Out.'

* * *

_Author's note: Okay, so these chapters have been split into two parts simply because I had SO much fun writing these that by the time I finished, I had this monster of a chapter that was far too long to cram all into one. _

_We're getting closer to the wedding guys…_

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

Christian's POV  


"Why don't you ever let it grow for a day or two?"

"Huh?"

My neck is strained and my vision is limited, I have a face slathered in shaving cream and a sharp razor blade pressed against the base of my throat but I still can't resist looking at my girl as she stands right beside me, hand on her cocked hip and looking so fucking beautiful in a floor length, halter neck maxi-dress.

"You shave every day, I just don't know _why _you shave every day?"

"Are you trying to tell me something here, baby? Do you want me more rough and ready?"

She giggles and it's like music to my fucking ears. Turning to face the mirror, Ana swipes a coat of that berry flavoured lip gloss I've grown to love so much and teases the roots of her hair with a tail comb. Huffing in the adorable way she does when she's displeased with her appearance. "No, not at all. I was just curious and besides, watching you shave is a _major _turn on. Especially when you're doing it shirtless."

"Oh, really? Do tell me more," I smirk at her through the mirror, dip the razor into the sink and continue with my shaving routine - _whic_h by the way is boring as fuck, but now I know that it get's my woman's panties wet I deliberately take my time, each stroke slow and sharp.

"You're so bad, Christian Grey."

"Better yet, you could always show me."

"Show you what?" Dropping the blade onto the vanity I reach for Ana and wrap my arms around her lower back, cupping her ass and squeezing it like a Neanderthal. "Christian! You're all messy!"

"Messy?" I growl into her ear, biting down on the lobe and not giving one tiny fuck about smearing shaving cream all over the side of her face. "I thought you liked me messy?"

"Seriously, stop!" She snorts a laugh and swats at my shoulder, throwing her head back to escape my amorous assault but that just goads me further. The smooth, silky column of her throat is now exposed and like a starving man I dive in hungrily, nipping at her skin and fisting a hand in her loose hair as it falls down the length of her back.

"Do you think we have time for a quickie before everyone descends on us?"

"A…quickie?" She gasps, jumping slightly when she feels the sharp sting of my teeth sinking down into her neck. "We can't, they'll be here any minute."

"I can work with that."

Ana yelps in surprise, her hands flying out to grasp the counter as I hoist her onto it. She fights me for a second or two but then like a good girl needing an orgasm, she leans back and spreads her legs wider, holding herself open for me by tucking her hands underneath her knees. I'm still covered in fucking shaving cream but right now I really couldn't give a shit, and judging by the change in Ana's breathing neither does she. My face is inches away from her pussy, her panties are pulled to the side and just as I push two fingers inside her wet, snug tunnel the shrill shriek of Katherine Kavanagh pierces through the air, my cock practically screaming in agony as she repeatedly pounds her fist against the bathroom door. The bathroom door of our en-suite might I add, the en-suite in our fucking bedroom. _Where the fuck is Taylor and why is he letting mad women roam around my apartment? _

"Get out here, Steele! We have rosemary and mint body scrubs scheduled for ten-thirty!"

"Who made her fucking drill sergeant?" Ana shushes me with a smirk and hops down off the vanity, re-adjusting her panties as she goes. I'm grinning from ear to ear when she squeezes her legs together and breathes deeply through her nose. I feel bad about leaving her hanging but the selfish part of me fucking _loves _the thought of her being horny all day.

_Maybe now she'll quit being so fucking stubborn and let Sawyer bring her to me later tonight…_

"If Kate's here that means Elliot's here. You're on a tight schedule _too, _Mr. Grey."

"Don't fucking remind me."

After a quick rinse over the sink for me and a make-up touch up for Ana, she swings the door open to reveal a sour faced Kate with her hand raised above her head on the door-jamb and her foot tapping against the floor. _For the love of God we're not even late! _"Oh no. You're not wearing that."

"What? What's wrong with it?"

Ana glances down to give herself the once over, frowning as she lifts her chin but Kate's having none of it, dragging my girl out of the bathroom and into our closet with a small holdall in her hand. Luckily for me Ana had already laid my clothes for today out on the bed and as I step into my jeans and buckle the belt I'm grinning like a fucking fool. It's ridiculous and pathetic but just thinking back to the way she smoothed her hand over the neatly folded pile this morning, dressed in just a towel with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth makes my throat tighten. _It's so domesticated and…normal. _Something I never thought I'd even want out of life but with Ana I want it all.

I leave our bedroom to find my apartment filled to the fucking rafters with bodies. Ana's entire bachelorette party are camped outside on the balcony, sipping something colourful and sugary as fuck out of cocktail glasses and giggling like damn hyenas. The boys are in the kitchen with Gail and when I spot her pouring Gramps a coffee I shoot her a glare but she just smiles and shrugs her shoulders. Ana would have my balls if she saw her out here working on a Saturday but Gail Jones is a force to be reckoned with, never taking no for an answer.

"Is everyone here?"

"Dylan and dad are downstairs with Taylor loading the luggage," Elliot grumbles through a mouthful of bagel and burps like the disgusting fucker he is. "What about Ray? When is he-"

"Shut up!" I growl through my teeth, glancing over my shoulder and breathing a sigh of relief when I don't see Ana anywhere. "She still doesn't know he's joining us and I want to keep it that way. It's a fucking surprise, dickhead."

I take a long swig of bottled water and almost spit it right back out again when I spot Ros coming back inside with large sunglasses framing her face and two empty cocktail glasses in her hands. "Rack um' up, Mrs. J. These girls can drink me under the table."

"What in the fuck?" I start, my eyes wide and my jaw slack. She laughs and rolls her eyes, patting my cheek playfully.

"Close your mouth, Christian, you'll catch flies. And before you ask, your gorgeous fiancée invited me."

"And you said _yes_? Since when were bachelorette parties your fucking thing?"

"Since when was getting married _your _thing?" Elliot howls with laughter and slaps my shoulder, shaking his head and wiping his eyes when hysterical tears stream down his face. _It's not that fucking funny. _"I'll have you know I can be quite the gal pal when I put my mind to it."

"Is Gwen here?"

"No," She snorts and pushes her shades to the top of her head. "I wouldn't be able to check out your saucy little piece if she was now, would I?"

"Fucking watch it."

Narrowing my eyes, I point a finger in her face and purse my lips. I know she's only joking but fucking hell if the thought doesn't piss me off. My girl will be wearing next to nothing all day and as much as Ros loves the bones of her own girlfriend, that doesn't mean she's immune to a beautiful woman. Ana could turn a straight woman's head and then some.

After three failed attempts at working the coffee machine Gail storms in and waves me away, taking over completely with a knowing smirk and a cocky head shake. _Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking hopeless and I know it. _My back is turned but the unmistakable giggle behind me attracts my attention as Kate and Ana emerge around the corner five minutes later.

_Holy fucking Christ. Now I know why Kate didn't want her wearing that dress. _Ana's ditched the maxi-dress for a pair of tiny denim shorts that cling to her ass so fucking perfectly I could cry, but it's her shirt that has my cock at full staff.

A short sleeved t-shirt with a low neckline hugs her slim waist and full tits and when she sees me gawping at her like a teenager getting a boner for the first time, she smirks and cocks her hip to the side, stretching the fabric out so I can see it more clearly.

**PROPERTY OF CHRISTIAN GREY  
****EST: 2012  
****SEATTLE, WASHINGTON **

It's emblazoned across the front in thick black lettering but it might aswell be in fucking neon because it jumps off the gray cotton like a damn traffic sign. _Property of Christian Grey? Damn straight she is! _

"She's _promised _me that everyone else has their own shirt so I don't feel so stupid. Do you like it?"

"Like it? Do I like it?" I can't even formulate a coherent sentence so instead of responding verbally, I curl my fingers around her wrist and drag her out of the kitchen and down the hallway, ignoring the onslaught of whistles and cat calls as I pin my sexy little minx against the wall and drive my tongue into her hot mouth, my fingers tugging the hem of her shirt up slightly so I can graze the skin of her stomach. "Does that answer your question?"

Ana's breathless when I pull away, her eyes closed and her mouth still parted with swollen, thoroughly fucking kissed lips. "Uh-huh."

"Don't you dare throw this away, I want you to wear it for me when I get home tomorrow."

"You do?"

With a sharp nod of my head I dive back in but this time I attack her neck instead of her lips, my tongue gliding up and down the length of her throat like a man possessed, sucking at the sweet swell of her tits above the neckline of her shirt. "And I fully intend to fuck you in it. _Hard._"

"Jesus Christ-"

Her body goes limp, sagging against the wall as her desire takes over completely. I almost jump out of my fucking skin when her dainty little hand cups my cock through the denim of my jeans and when she lifts one leg and hooks it around my waist I take her mouth like the caveman I am, shamelessly thrusting my dick into her hand and savagely groping her tits.

"We don't have time-"

"We always have fucking time," I growl, shoving my knee between her parted legs and bending slightly so we're at the perfect height. "In sixty-seconds someone will come looking for us, do you think you can come before then?"

Her eyes are dark and hooded and her skin is flushing a deeper shade of pink by the second, she's so fucking turned on I can smell her. Our mouths remain glued together as this wanton woman starts to ride my thigh like a god damn fucking cowgirl, rubbing my jean-clad cock the entire time.

"I feel like a fucking teenager,"

"I know," She gasps breathlessly. "But we don't have time for anything else."

We're cutting it so dangerously fine and we both know it, so to help speed the process along Ana unbuckles my belt and deft fingers slide down the front of my pants, her hand wrapping around the root of my shaft with just the right amount of pressure. _Was it her that just whimpered or me?_

"Fucking hell," I spit through gritted teeth, my forehead starting to sweat as we desperately grind against each other, our mouths smacking together with such ferocity we're both bound to leave here with bruises. "That's it, baby. Fuck that's it."

"Christian, you're making me…shit I'm there."

"I know," I suck her fleshy lobe into my mouth and push my leg up harder giving her extra leverage. "Come for me, baby. I want to see you, come for me now."

And with that she blows. We both do. My palm covers her mouth to stop her from screaming out and when she bites down on my hand I start to spasm almost viciously, white streams of burning liquid spurting out onto her hand and coating her palm.

"Holy hell." She breathes and closes her eyes letting her head fall back against the wall. There are no words - no _fucking _words to describe how hot that was so I don't even bother trying. I simply tuck my satisfied cock back to it's original state and gently caress her sex over the fabric of her shorts.

"I fucking love you."

We try for nonchalance but the second we round the corner hand in hand thirteen heads swing in our direction, all grinning and snickering like the knowing fuckers they are.

"Oh my god!" Fran gasps. "Did you two just have sex!"

Ana blushes and tucks her face into my shoulder, squeezing down hard on my hand. I can't tell them that instead of fucking we were dry humping against the wall like two fifteen year old virgins, so I just shrug my shoulders and kiss the top of Ana's head without giving an answer. _Thank fuck my parents are still downstairs._

"Can we please hit the fucking road now?"

Elliot grumbles, jabbing the call button with his thumb before piling into the elevator with as many people as it'll hold. Olivia and Blake accidentally bump into each other, both giving the other an awkward as fuck smile but at least it's a smile. _Is this the first time they've been around each other since it all went south? _Ana was somewhat apprehensive about both parties meeting here this morning but I told her it needed to happen sooner or later, in one week from today Blake and Olivia will be standing together at the alter so the quicker they snap out of this weird funk, the better.

"I'll miss you." Tucking an errant curl behind her ear I smile down at Ana and kiss the tip of her nose. She's still flushed from the orgasm I gave her in the hallway, her lips are swollen and her chest heaves every time my fingers brush against her cheek. "Promise me you'll behave?"

"Don't I always?" I refrain from rolling my eyes and bite back a sarcastic retort because the second she wraps her arms around my neck, her lush tits pressed against me and her hot breath on my lips all I can think about is dragging her into the bedroom and fucking her brains out.

Mustering up every ounce of self restraint I have, I peel my girl's arms away from my neck and kiss the pads of her fingers before kissing her lips. It's soft and it's tender but it's enough to leave me feeling bereft when she sashays her delectable little ass across the foyer and throws me a sexy as fuck wave.

"I'll meet you down there," I tell Blake and Dylan as soon as Ana and the girls are tucked safely inside the elevator, the steel doors closing and the cart whisking them towards the ground floor. "I need to change my pants."

* * *

A ninety minute drive later, two SUV's and a pit stop for Elliot so he can take a piss at the side of the road, Taylor and Evans park the cars side by side on the expansive driveway of Maple Leaf Loop, the six bedroom house located on the thirteenth fairway of the golf course at Suncadia Resort - our home for the next twenty-four hours.

Blake leans his hip against the side of the trunk and wolf whistles, peering over the rim of his aviators in appreciation. "This is impressive, Chris. Not that I was expecting shabby."

Shabby it is not. Not for $800 a night anyway. Taylor slides the key in the door and leaves it unlocked, telling me he needs to park the cars in the private garages adjoined at the side of the house before joining us inside.

The entrance gives way to an open floor plan with a fucking insane kitchen, a dining room that looks out over the golf course and a living room with towering ceilings, a huge real stone fireplace and a 70" plasma TV. The entire place is equipped with a state of the art home automation system complete with integrated sound. The kitchen provides a large breakfast with high-end appliances, rustic cabinets, built in espresso machine and American Range stove with a double oven. If I could cook I'd be in my fucking element, but I don't. So this will no doubt be covered in junk and take-out cartons by the time we leave tomorrow.

A large covered deck area complete with gas BBQ and comfortable patio furniture is accessible off the kitchen and dining room. The covered deck steps down to a massive patio, brand new hot tub and built-in gas firepit. The main floor provides a master bedroom along with a second and third bedroom, and the upper level consists of a further four, all floors completed with French doors and vintage wood benches.

"Okay, I hold my hands up." Elliot cracks open a bottle of beer and flops down onto the leather armchair facing the television. "This is _way _better than Vegas. Bro, this place is _insane. _Where the fuck did you find it?"

"I didn't, Andrea did. My only requirements were a hiking trail and a golf course." _I need to give that woman a damn raise. _Once again she's exceeded my expectations, the resort has three award-winning golf courses and more than 40 miles of paved and unpaved hike and bike trails. Not to mention other activities such as fly fishing, beer tasting, river rafting and boat rentals."Save the downstairs Master for Ray. I don't think he'd appreciate your bare ass first thing in the morning."

"When will he get here?"

One by one, all of the boys congregate in the living area passing me a beer as they go. My cousins Billy and Jake hook someone's iPod up to the main sound system and select shuffle, looking more than fucking pleased with themselves when the first track plays without a hitch.

"An hour or so. He told me to go on ahead without him so don't get to fucking comfortable, we're leaving in ten minutes."

I feel like my dad giving orders but I'm so fucking pumped to be here I don't care. This house is beyond incredible and I'm sure we'll make the most of it tonight but right now I'm ready to play. I feel like a damn ten-year old.

* * *

The irrepressible urge to call Ana starts to creep in but we both promised to refrain from contacting the other until tonight. These fucking superstitions are absolute horseshit. I get the whole night before the wedding thing but everything else is just another reason to piss me off. Not only that, but if Elliot even caught me on my fucking phone he'd toss it into the Cle Elum River without a second thought.

"What the fuck is this?" I lift a tumbler of clear liquid to my nose with a frown and take a strong whiff, instantly wishing I hadn't when the scent hits my nostrils with force. "It smells fucking vile!"

"Patron." My dad grins. "80% proof."

"The fuck I'm drinking that," I hand the untouched glass back but dad just holds his palms up and takes a step back, refusing to take this shit away from me. "I don't so shots."

"Just drink it you pussy!" Elliot booms and tosses his empty tumbler into the back of the cart before taking a swing of his ball, cursing under his breath when it flies too far right.

I don't want to, but I know I won't be fucking left alone until I do so with evident reluctance I throw the tequila back and drop the glass onto the ground near my feet, wincing when it burns my throat like a bitch. I've never understood the fascination myself, I'm much more of a bourbon kinda' guy but I now know why people insist on sucking a damn lemon wedge afterward. _That after taste is fucking repugnant. _

"That's my boy," Dad slaps my shoulder and pushes me forward, letting me line up my shot without forcing anymore disgusting liquor down my throat. "Are you sure your Grandpa is good back at the house? Your mother would kill me if she knew I'd left him on his own."

"Dad, he's seventy-eight years old. He's entitled to a nap if he wants one, he'll be fine later."

"Fucking hell, have you been getting practice in without me?" Elliot gapes after I take my first swing, the ball landing less than twenty feet away from the flag. "You were never that fucking good?"

Blake, Dylan, Jake and Billy are still loitering near the golf cart, re-filling their tumblers and throwing each glass back like it's water, going back in for more every time. "Will you slow the fuck down!" I yell. "You're acting like fucking frat boys!"

"We can handle it," Jake pats my back and tries handing me another drink but I practically push him away, my expression sour. "Hey, I keep meaning to thank you for including Bethy in the wedding. It's _all_ she talks about morning, noon and night."

"No need to thank _me. _Ana fell in love with the kid as soon as she laid eyes on her, she wouldn't have it any other way."

"It shows," He takes another sip of patron, whistling in awe when I take another almost perfect swing. I'm a second away from being smug about this. "She wanted to wear her dress to school last week." He shakes his head with a fond smile. "Lou's hid it out of reach."

"Ana thinks she'll upstage her," I grin, crossing one ankle over the other. "I've told her that it's possible."

"She's a real gem with her, Ana I mean." Jake eyes me over the rim of his glass, his expression blank and unreadable. "She's a complete natural."

"That she is." I agree.

He wants to ask, his body language gives him away in an instant. I quickly recall the conversation we had on The Grace not even four months ago and realise that since then, so much has changed. I told him that Ana was far too young for kids but two weeks ago she agreed to trying, I told him that I'd only thought about starting a family when in actual fact, I was so ready to knock my girlfriend up it was beyond painful.

I'm so fucking desperate to tell someone but I can't. Our parent's don't even know yet and as close as I am with my cousin, there are other people who rank a lot higher in the pecking order. People who should know we're trying for a baby before anyone else finds out. _Elliot doesn't even know yet._

My cell buzzes in the pocket of my Chinos and when Elliot points his finger at me and tuts like a scolding adult, I roll my eyes and flip him the bird letting him know that it's only Ray confirming he's now at the house. I fire back a quick text and groan loudly when Elliot insists on taking another shot before heading back. This one goes down a lot easier but it's still fucking vile, although when my dad wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before asking me what he's about to ask me I'm half tempted to pour myself another.

"Why isn't Ethan here?"

Elliot's eyes widen and his throat bobs when he swallows the last of his shot at a painfully slow pace, glancing at me with a bewildered expression before flashing me a reassuring wink. What the fuck would I even say here? _The little fuckhead wasn't invited because he's in love with my fiancée. Oh and by the way dad, he used your baby girl and treated her like shit but don't worry, I got in there before he fucked her. _Yeah right…

"Kate said he's out of state for the weekend."

"Out of state?" My dad frowns and scratches his elbow. "Doing what?"

"How the fuck should I know I'm not his fucking boyfriend. Ask Kate when you see her."

It's a shit lie and Kate will rip him a new one when she finds out that Elliot has dragged her into this, but I'm so thankful he stepped in for me because I hit a brick fucking wall there. As much as I was opposed to this whole Bachelor party idea not even four weeks ago, we're here now and more importantly, I _want _to be here. Fuck if I'm prepared to discuss that asshole the entire time. I can't even _think _about him without feeling the need to punch something or someone. Hard.

"I just think it's odd that's all. Mia seemed so excited for him to get to know us all better."

"Is this Mia's new guy?" Billy asks innocently.

"No." I spit through gritted teeth, the mere thought of him being Mia's _guy _pisses me off beyond fucking recognition. "She's not dating anyone."

"_Yet. _She could do a lot worse, Christian. Ethan has prospects and a bright future ahead of him, you have to admit he's far better than the last insect she wasted her time on."

"Doing _what_ exactly? He spent the last twelve months jet-setting like some fucking big shot instead of studying to…whatever it is he even wants to do these days. You call that a boy with prospects?" I scoff.

"I think you'll find it's called a gap year, the boy needed time to figure out what he wants to do with his life what's so wrong with that?." Dad narrows his eyes and cocks his head to the side, no doubt trying to figure out what the fuck my problem is but I'm past the point of even caring. It's abundantly clear that Ethan has wormed his way into my dad's affections and like a dick, he's _fallen _for it. "I thought you two got on?"

"We do. I invited him didn't I?" _Lie. _

"Why are we even discussing this?" Elliot pushes past me and moves to take another swing, complaining about us looking like a group of bitching women instead of men playing golf. My dad doesn't look the least bit impressed but I'll deal with him later, I still refuse to tell him the truth but if he continues to test my patience he'll find out exactly what Kavanagh's _prospects _were where his daughter was concerned. "Christian! Open a fucking beer and get over here."

* * *

Taylor stops me as soon as we get back to the house an hour later, informing me that three paps were spotted at the front entrance of the resort around thirty-five minutes ago. Dropping my golf bag, I pinch the bridge of my nose and ask what the plan is, relieved when he reassures me that extra measures were taken out to prevent any unwanted persons accessing the private condo this side of the trail before we arrived. In other words, the club has been paid a hefty as fuck amount of money to amp up security. Not that I give a fuck, these bastards getting pictures of us out here will do nothing but piss me off.

"What about Salish Lodge? Did they receive a tip off about Ana?"

"Sawyer says it's all clear. Every aesthetician in contact with the ladies today have signed NDA's and I have Bailey and Morris stationed outside the treatment rooms."

_Fuck, _I bet Ana's pissed as hell. She blew her top when I told her security would be escorting them out tonight so I know full well how this will go down. Like a cup of cold fucking vomit no doubt. "Tell them to stand down if everything is still clear this afternoon." Taylor looks at me gone out, he even does a fucking double take not that I'm surprised.. "Have there been any threats?"

"No, Sir, none."

"If that changes then they know what to do. I trust they'll report back hourly?"

My head of security nods once in confirmation and I grasp his shoulder, telling him to change out of his damn suit and have a beer. For once I'm investing my trust in someone _other_ thanmy staff and although it makes me edgy as hell, I'm fully aware that the security team here would rather tackle any threatening fucker to the ground than deal with my wrath.

"Christian, good to see you." Ray gives my hand a firm shake and surprises the fuck out of me by pulling me in for a quick embrace, his palm slapping against my back. My future father in-law has never been the most tactile of people, the only person I've ever seen him so much as touch is Ana so when he squeezes my arms after pulling back my throat lodges almost painfully._ Fucking pathetic._ "Does she know I'm here?"

"Ana? No I still haven't told her…unless you want to call her-"

"No, no I'm pleased she doesn't know, I want to surprise her tomorrow. How is she?"

"Excited. Stressed." Ray grins and shakes his head, nodding once at my dad as he hands him a Budvar. "Pissed off because I won't tell her where we're going for the honeymoon."

"_Still?_" Elliot guffaws. "Man, have you got a death wish or something? What's with all the secrecy?"

"It's a surprise. She'll find out soon enough, you all will."

Dylan is the only fucker here who knows how to cook so he busies himself in the kitchen and grills a dozen rashers of bacon, throwing them onto poorly buttered slices of bread. Blake burnt a pan of boiling water once and although Elliot is yet to give me food poisoning he's had more than his fair share of liquor today so I tell him to stay well back. "Hey, this is better than Kate's!" He grumbles through a mouthful of bacon and grins baring his teeth.

"I don't know if I should be flattered of offended."

"Speaking of Kate," Blake starts cautiously, resting his weight against the kitchen island. "She looked like she wanted to rip my damn heart out this morning . I thought we were cool now?"

"Women like my Katie will _never _be cool. I wouldn't even take it personally, she's just ridiculously fucking protective over her friends."

"I'd totally get it if I cheated on Liv but I didn't, _she _broke up with _me_! Yet every time Kate and I are in a room together the temperature drops. What's the deal?"

Elliot scratches the back of his head and pushes his empty plate away. I for one know he's completely out of his comfort zone right now. _He_ doesn't even understand his own girlfriend so how the fuck is anyone else supposed to? The bottom line is, Kate can be a real awkward pain in the ass who makes everything _her _business regardless if people want her to or not. She did it with Ana and she's doing it with Olivia.

"That girl has a strong, stubborn head on her shoulders," Ray comments as he joins us in the kitchen and drops his plate into the sink. "She's much like my Annie but where my daughter can control it when needed, Kate can't. That's women for you, son."

"They're a head trip!" Blake booms and rolls his eyes, leaning forward and bracing his forearms against the granite surface of the counter. "It's my job to escort her down the damn aisle next week." He shudders visibly making my lips curl up into a smirk. "At this rate she'll trip me the fuck up on purpose."

I shoot him a pointed stare. "Ana will cut your balls off if you screw up in the _slightest. _Another thing about women? They stick together like a pack of wolves so it'll be you facing my wife's wrath and not Kate."

"This is fucked up!"

"Just talk to her." Dylan mumbles through a mouthful of food, one thumb on his cell as he taps across the keypad at rapid speed. Megan didn't go with the girl's in the end, she just wasn't ready to leave the baby so he's probably checking in with her at home. _Cute little fucker. _"She's got beef because you threw Olivia out on her ass."

"I didn't throw her out!" He defends himself with a narrowed gaze and thin lips. "That was a _mutual _decision. Things were getting too fucking awkward and weird, you try living with your ex-girlfriend and see how far you get."

"But you were still fucking?"

Elliot deadpans and I almost choke on my own breath, my eyes widening at my potty-mouthed brother who just frowns in response. Not that _I _care but my fiancée's father might fucking just, this is a conversation that could easily go south if we're not careful. I glance to the left of me and breathe a sigh of relief when I see him mindlessly picking at the label of his beer bottle, a knowing smirk on his face. "Yeah, and? There isn't much else you can do with a woman when you refuse to talk for more than sixty seconds a day."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"I fucking saw her this morning." Dylan rolls his eyes and mumbles something under his breath.

"_Before_ this morning, dick."

"I don't know," Blake shrugs, tilting his chin toward the ceiling like he's doing mental arithmetic in his head. "We met for lunch to try and work things out but that was just damn awkward. It was _way _too soon for acting amicable around each other when all she wanted to do was gauge my eyeballs out."

"Do you still love her?"

I finally ask what everyone else is thinking. This is the real crux of the problem here, he can't be around Olivia because he's obviously still madly in love with her. The way his face drops as soon as the words spill from my mouth confirms as much. These women have us by the fucking _balls_, Ana came into my life and turned everything on it's head in the space of what felt like five minutes and Blake isn't any different. He too was a man whore, screwing anything that said yes just to make him feel better about his sad, pathetic and empty life.

Right then, just as I fold my arms across my chest and stare one of my best friend's down as we all wait for an answer with baited breath, I realise that the first time he and Olivia slept together was the first time Ana and _I _slept together. _The Fairmont. _

Holy fuck. Here I am at my bachelor party, one week away from marrying the love of my life and here he is all broken hearted and alone. Talk about a fucking mood killer.

"I'll always love her," Blake admits quietly, glancing down at his feet as he shuffles from side to side. "Just because she wasn't into it doesn't mean I wasn't."

"Wow." Elliot puffs his cheeks out and taps his hands against the counter in an annoying rhythm. "Shit just got real deep."

And just like that we move on. Dylan slaps Blake's shoulder and whispers something in his ear but I don't hear what, all I see is two curt nods and half a smile. Whatever it was, it snaps Blake right of his somber mood because after that he's back to being fucking cheery, leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs to change.

* * *

"What happened to hiking being 'boring'?" I smirk smugly, cracking open a bottle of water and taking a long pull as Elliot steps back to hold his phone out in front of his face, taking picture after picture. "It looks like you're having a _ball_."

"Fuck you."

"You can admit that you were wrong, you know? I won't think any less of you."

He flips me off and turns his back to me to take another snap making me laugh. Glancing over my shoulder, I see the boys making their way towards us looking less than healthy. "What the fuck is this?" Blake wheezes as Dylan practically holds him upright. "We've been going for over a fucking hour."

"And we've got another two hours to go yet so quit being such a pussy. Where the fuck is your stamina?"

"Down there with my balls!" He breathes heavily, snatching the bottle out of my hand and guzzling it down in one go. "This is _not _fun."

We're seventy-five minutes into our hike across Kittita's Valley, the top of Manastash Ridge our destination and to Blake's credit this _is _the steepest trail out of the three to choose from with two miles uphill but he's still acting like a fucking baby. This is the guy who can take Claude Bastille down without breaking into a sweat so it's not like he's weak. I told him drinking like a fucking sailor would affect his prowess but did he listen to me? Did he bull.

"Come on, son. A young, strapping thing like you?" Ray storms right past him and to say I'm impressed is an understatement, I always knew he was obscenely fit but he's _this_ close to running rings around us. Having had surgery on his knee over three years ago, my dad opted to sit this one out so he's back at the house with Gramps. "You should be putting me to shame."

"With all due respect, Mr. Steele," He coughs and places his hands on his hips as he sucks in a lungful of air. "You are a fucking _machine_."

"I'll take that as a complement, but if you call me Mr. Steele again I'll throw you over that damn ledge."

"What's your excuse?"

"Me?" Jake points to himself and pants like a racehorse. "I have a five year old. My days in the gym are long gone."

"Bullshit!" Dylan yells and pushes Blake away with a disgusted eye roll. "I have a newborn so don't give me that shit."

With renewed determination, Dylan snaps his fingers in the air and grumbles something about 'getting a fucking move on.' This guy is one fire! He pushes on upward and takes the lead, steaming ahead like a demon possessed.

"You know what that is don't you?"

"What?"

Elliot grins knowingly, baring his teeth and pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. "Dylan. He's got all this pent up energy because he can't fuck Megan yet."

"Why not?"

"Are you fucking shitting me? Six week rule remember? Henry's what…two weeks old? That gives him another _month _before he can even get his dick wet. Talk about rough."

"Six weeks? Why six?"

I sound like a dumb ass but I'm genuinely intrigued. I didn't even know there _was_ a rule let alone a six fucking week rule? Who the hell thought that up? "Fuck if I know. Something to do with the 'healing' process or some shit." He screws his face up and shrugs his shoulders, stopping to take another photo. "Imagine not being able to get laid for six weeks? It's not even natural."

I'm literally struck dumb. Luckily Ray is trailing behind with Blake and my cousins, no doubt giving them a team talk but I'm thankful regardless, this way he can't hear me discussing my sex life with his daughter. "So like, _no _sex at all? For over a month?"

"Yep." He confirms popping the 'p' "Like I said, it's not even natural."

Well fuck me! How could I not know that? I've read every conception, labour and baby book known to man since we started trying but somehow, that little nugget of information slipped right under the fucking rug. _Does Ana know that? _Of course she does, women are programmed to know all of this shit without having to try.

Focusing my attention on Dylan as he continues full steam ahead, I notice just how much precision he's putting in to his strides. His fists are clenched and his lunges are wide and deep and every time he glances over his shoulder to check how far behind we are his expression is strained.

_That…_is one horny, sexually frustrated man.

It's a long and painful three hours and by the time we reach Manatash Ridge even I'm hunched forward and grasping my knees, a burning ache deep in the pit of my stomach as my aviators slide down my face and cover my eyes. For this time of year, it's a surprisingly warm and sunny day which only makes this whole experience even more incredible. The view from the top of the ridge is _insane. _Even Billy who is admittedly afraid of heights stands as close to the edge as he can without feeling the urge to hurl, I've never been one for snapping photos and capturing memories but for once in my life I take a leaf out of Elliot's book and pull my phone out to do just that.

"It's something, huh?" Ray clasps a hand over my shoulder as he moves to stand beside me. "Annie would love it out here."

"I'll bring her after the wedding." I tell him earnestly because that's what I fully intend to do. Having my closest friends and family here with me is special but I miss my girl like fucking crazy.

If she doesn't fall pregnant before or during our honeymoon, I've vowed to spend every waking minute showing her the world before we become parents - before a little baby becomes the sole centre of our universe and more.

"Promise me you'll take care of her?" Ray's quiet question snaps me from my reverie, his deep blue eyes glaring at me through the dark lenses of his sunglasses. _Strange how he has the same eye colour as Ana yet they're not blood related…_

"I'll always take care of her, Ray. You have my word."

"I've always liked you Christian," He takes a drink of water and turns to face me. "That's why I willingly gave you permission to marry my daughter before you even asked for it. I trusted you to protect her and love her until your very last breath, I still _do _trust you."

_I'm sensing a 'but' here…_

"That woman is my sole reason for living, she's what gets me out of bed every damn morning and if you were to ever hurt her…" His voice drops and his expression turns cold, I'm not easily intimidated but fuck if I don't feel a lump in throat. "Let's just say it would upset me. A _lot._"

_Okay, message received. _Ray has always been so incredibly accepting of our relationship despite the unconventional way we started out, but I was always expecting this right here sooner or later. Ana's a daddy's girl and when he tells me that my fiancée is his world…he fucking means it.

"I know you love her, I knew that the minute I met you but I also know how men work. We get greedy, we get sloppy and we take the people we love for granted. You see a pretty woman…she turns your head, you've had a fight with the wife the night before and when someone else shows you attention you're tempted to stray."

"God, Ray, never." I tell him emphatically, feeling slightly insulted and pissed off that he could even insinuate such a thing. "I too know men and I'm _not _most men. Look, I did the sleeping around thing okay? Before Ana I was an asshole who used women to get what I wanted, not giving a shit who I hurt in the process but now…."

"Now, what?"

"I was a dick. I fucked over my best friend and stole his girlfriend." Ray's mouth pops open at that admission. He knows what happened but I've never put it so bluntly before, but call a spade a spade that's _exactly _what I did. "Which is why I would never jeopardise my future with Anastasia, she's my world and she always has been. I've had my fair share of attractive women, Ray, but none - _none _of them even come close to your daughter."

We stand facing each other for the longest time, stances wide and arms folded across our chests and for the first time during this conversation I realise that we're standing dangerously close to the ledge. _Fucking hell, one wrong word and he could easily toss me over. _My breathing picks up and my palms start to clam up. Did he know about my man whore past? Have I ever shared that much with him before? My worst fear is that he'll turn on me, warning me to stay the fuck away from his daughter but when he takes a step forward and places both hands on my shoulders, his thumbs moving in reassuring circles I somewhat relax.

"That's all I needed to hear. You're a good boy, Christian, and I _know _I don't have a thing to worry about."

"You do?" Fuck, I sound pathetic.

"I do."

Elliot surprises the hell out of me by pulling out a bottle of single malt whisky from his backpack and passing around shitty little plastic tumblers. _I guess safety comes first. _"Don't tell dad but I stole this from his drinks cabinet." He wags his eyebrows and flashes me a sly wink. "A toast, gentleman."

"Fucking hell. No." I groan loudly, shaking my head and running a hand through my messy as fuck hair. "Ell, there's no-"

"Call it practice for the big day," My brother nudges my shoulder with his and pours out two fingers of liquor, setting the bottle on the ground hear his boot. "I wont give you any of the soppy shit, not today anyway." His grin is wide as he holds his tumbler up, everyone forming a makeshift circle around him. "To…Christian and Ana."

The small group chants back the toast in unison before throwing the shot back and wincing through the burn, but it's Ray who makes solid eye contact with me, nodding his head once as he mouths back the words quietly. It's that right there that has me welling up like a woman, glancing at the floor and swallowing back thick tears. Anymore of this shit and I'll be crying in the corner before the night's out.

* * *

Back at the house, even a hot bath couldn't cure the agonising ache in my calf muscles much to Elliot's amusement. "You give it all this 'I'm fucking Iron man' bollocks yet you can't even stretch properly?" I lunged for him, tackled the fucker to the ground and popped him one right in the balls. He doubled over clutching his stomach while trying to reach for me so he could do the same, he almost had me when I broke down in damn hysterics as he writhed around the floor like a tortured animal. "You fucker! Don't think this makes us even!"

Dad tapped my shoulder and told me to act my age but that just made me laugh even harder. Growing up this was always our thing, in fact we'd do just about anything to get the other down and we'd end up in the shit every time we did. When he finally caught his breath he tore his shirt off and ran outside, heading straight for the hot-tub on the lower deck, clicking his fingers and yelling for someone to bring him a drink.

If I thought he was bad earlier, that was _nothing _compared to now. "Just because you don't want to go to a club doesn't mean I'm letting you off that easily, Bro." He's already pretty lit up from our beer tasting session not even an hour ago, having stopped at Rosyln Brewery to sample some of their finest local brands after our hike and I have to admit it got my blood more than pumping.

Ray and my dad are both on barbeque duty, sleeves rolled up as they grill jalapeno sausages and beef ribs. They're laughing amongst themselves and sharing something a bit stronger than the beer Ray has generally been sticking with throughout the day but I wouldn't care if they got more hammered than the rest of us. I'm just pleased that they're bonding.

"Your mother will be a snivelling wreck next Saturday, Son, you mark my words." I stand up and take Gramps' elbow, steering him towards the table on the patio outside. He's not a fragile man but I have this awful image of him tripping over a poorly laid plank. "She had our photo albums out again last week."

"Again?" I snort. "I swear she's looked at that thing more this month than she ever has."

"Her baby is getting married," He leans back in the chair and clasps his hands over the handle of the walking stick my grandmother insisted he bring. "You're the first one to fly the nest so to speak, it doesn't matter if you're in your late twenties and ridiculously wealthy, you're still the first one to marry."

"She promised me she'd keep it together." Even as I say the words I realise _just _how ridiculous they sound. My mother breaks down when one of us gets the flu, _of course _she'll lose it when I'm reciting my vows. _Speaking of vows. _"How did you know what to say to Grams?"

"On our wedding day?" He asks and I nod. "Well that was easy, I just spoke from the heart. I didn't even rehearse anything."

"Not even a little?"

"Christian," Gramps shifts in his seat slowly, turning to face me as he pulls out a cigar and lights up. "You don't know it yet, but in seven days you'll be stood at the alter with the love of your life in front of you. She'll look at you with wide, beautiful eyes and just like that," He snaps his fingers. "It will come to you. You could sit and write a thousand words but none of it will even register when you're in that moment. _Trust_ me."

The ball in my throat returns for the third time today and again I'm thankful for the aviators covering my eyes. I can see it so clearly. Anastasia dressed in white, her creamy skin bathed in lace or silk and her deep blue pools boring into the very depths of my soul. That right there will be the start of our lives together and somehow I know my grandfather is spot on. I don't need to rehearse anything, why would I when I love someone so fucking deeply I can barely stand to be apart from her?

"Just make sure you make all the right promises. Promise to love and protect her, promise to be faithful and promise to respect her because deep down that's all she'll want to hear, Son. They want the confirmation, the final declaration and until they get that they'll be totally zoned out."

I laugh because I know he couldn't be anymore right if he tried.

By ten-thirty I'm pretty damn buzzed. Dad told Elliot that he knew he stole his twenty-five year old whiskey the second he took it, having planned on bringing it himself. My brother just sits there open-mouthed and shirtless, sipping his drink quietly like a teenager caught right in the act. That bottle is demolished almost instantly, we're still outside having eaten like athletes and just when I think we've drunk the resort dry Billy sets a bottle of Jack Daniels onto the table with an intoxicated grin, swaying from side to side and bumping into a spare chair.

"Come on, Dyl." Elliot starts, taking a cigar from Gramps outstretched hand. "You're married and boring. Share the wisdom."

"To being married and boring?" He scoffs. "What do you wanna' know." He asks looking straight at me.

"Nothing. I don't want to know anything, it'll only encourage him."

"Lighten up, Bro." Elliot shoves my shoulder making me almost lose my balance. _Damn, that made everything spin. _"Taylor get on over here!"

Jason and Evans are in the kitchen having finally dressed down to eat, they've kept their distance throughout the evening purely to remain clear headed and liquor free and for that I can't commend them highly enough. "Sir?"

"You were married once, right?"

"That I was, but I don't think I'm the right person to offer marital advice."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm _divorced." _Taylor drawls, stressing the word divorce as he leans forward, his hands fisted in his pants pockets. "I'm hardly an ad-campaign am I?"

"That's even better! You can leave all the fluffy shit out and get to the _real _truth, none of this happy-clappy bollocks either."

"Elliot…" My dad shakes his head and glares at his eldest. "Stop goading your brother. You have no idea how wonderful marriage is.

"Dad, _please_." He holds a hand out drops his shoulder, attitude seeping from his pores. "I don't need to hear how you keep mom happy, thank you very much."

"Now your head's in the gutter,"

"It likes it." He shrugs and takes a swig straight from the bottle.

"I've heard it." Dylan mentions almost innocently. "How you keep Grace 'happy', I've heard it."

"What the fuck?" I boom.

"Mia's twenty-first birthday party last December. You were in the kitchen getting the cake ready and I heard you when I came back inside to look for Megan."

"TMI, TMI!" Elliot screams and covers his ears, sticking his fingers in as deep as they'll go as he screws his eyes shut tight. This will give him nightmares for _weeks. _I almost want to give Dylan a fucking high-five even if I am feeling slightly disgusted myself.

"Dad? I don't hear you fucking denying this!"

"What can I say?" Carrick puffs his cheeks out and swirls the whiskey in his half empty tumbler. "Celebrating the birth of your child is somewhat of an aphrodisiac."

"I think I could hurl." Elliot clutches his stomach and tucks his knees into his chest.

"You fucking started this."

"Screw you, asshole."

I kick him under the table just as my phone buzzes to life, Elliot makes a grab for it and despite my closed fist flying out in front of me faster than lightening, he manages to snatch it away from me with a taunting grin. "We made a deal remember? I haven't talked to her all fucking day!"

"You are _such _a pussy, you can't even go twenty-four hours without sucking face even if it is over the phone. Grow some fucking balls." I reach for his hand a second time, knocking our drinks over in the process and when he waves the Blackberry in my face and tells me it's gone to voicemail I growl, _literally _growl and slam my palm against the table.

"You're such a fucking dick! That could have been important."

"Hey, T-bird? You got any missed calls from your boys?" Taylor knows that my brother is acting like a sarcastic asshole but the idiot checks his phone anyway before giving a very firm head shake. "If it was important your man over there would know before you, Christian."

Shooting him a death glare, I snatch back my now silent phone and rise to my feet with a petulant huff, not even bothering to properly excuse myself as I slide the patio door to a close and scroll through my phone in sheer desperation. I could just call her back but I need to know what's in this damn voicemail before I do.

_**I'm drunk dialling youuu. Well, I tried drunk dialling you but you didn't answer so now I'm just leaving you a message. Hey, we get married in seven days Mr. Grey. Can you believe that? Kate threatened to hire me a last minute stripper but you'll be pleased to know that Sawyer has stolen her phone so she can't call anyone. So tell Elliot he won't be getting a booty call at 3AM tomorrow morning. I'm drunk, horny and missing you like a bitch but don't worry, I'm only drunk and horny for you. Kay, I gotta' go I'm next in line to pee. Be a good boy and dream of me, I love you.**_

"That's love that is."

"What is?" I almost jump out of my fucking skin when I spot a figure looming out of the darkness.

"That smile." Ray uncurls a finger from around his tumbler and points it right at me, shoulder pressed against the doorjamb as he sips on a scotch. _I forgot he was in here._ "You my boy, are a man in love."

"She has that affect on me."

_Fuck, am I blushing?_

"She looks so much like her mother."

"She does? I think she looks like Jen."

"Oh, she does. Jen and Carla could've passed for twins they're that similar. My Annie's the best of both, so beautiful."

I stand motionless, wide-eyed and nodding my head like a fucking imbecile. It's strange really, I've never heard him speaking this fondly of Carla before. She's his ex-wife and from what Ana's shared with me, he was utterly heartbroken when she left him for that piece of flesh. The thought that he still finds her attractive has never crossed my mind. - and if they look so alike, does that mean he's attracted to Jen?

"Any more of that going?" He holds his glass up and nods once, stepping aside to let me past. "How are you holding up with the whole Jen thing?"

"Honestly?" I nod. "I wasn't good at first. Hearing her voice after all these years…It threw me that's for sure. I understand that you had a part to play in getting her here?"

For the first time since contacting Jen five weeks ago, I feel guilty. Anastasia was so thrilled to see her I guess Ray's feelings were sidelined along the way, the only person I considered for more than a second was my fiancée and that makes me feel like a fucking ass. "Ana needed her here. I wasn't thinking about-"

"You put the woman you love first and for that I'm eternally grateful, Christian. I'm not expecting an apology." Refilling his tumbler, he takes a seat at the breakfast bar and cradles the glass in-between his large hands. "I guess I just freaked. Here she was, back in my baby's life after all these years and for all I knew it could've just been a fleeting visit before abandoning Ana again."

"I would have never invited her to Seattle if I thought they were her intentions, Ray, you have my word. For what it's worth, Ana feels at peace now." His head snaps up so fast I'm surprised he hasn't given himself whiplash. "She's the strongest woman I've ever met but I know Morton's face still haunts her. She doesn't have nightmares anymore, they stopped before I even knew her but somewhere…somewhere deep down that bastard still controlled a part of her life she couldn't leave behind. But then Jen came back."

"I get it," Ray mumbles quietly. "She's given my daughter closure. I guess I always knew she would."

I don't want to ask. Correction - I'm too fucking _scared _to ask, but the unknown is niggling away at me and even though Ana would be mortified if she were here right now, I find the words spilling from my mouth before I can even control or rehearse what the fuck it is I'm about to say.

"Were you and Jen ever…You know, involved?"

"Involved? You mean romantically?" _Fucking hell. Why did I even ask? What the fuck __**possessed **__me to ask such a personal question? It's all the fucking alcohol. _"Not in the slightest. Don't get me wrong, Jen is a beautiful woman and any man would be so damn lucky to have her. I was too in love with Carla to even look elsewhere and by the time I'd finally managed to move on, I had a traumatised fourteen year old to take care of. Let's just say there wasn't much room for dating."

"So you've never…since Carla?"

Ever wanted to drive a blade through your own fucking stomach? Well I have, and the urge to follow through is just too damn strong right here in this awkward as fuck moment. Ray's shoulders shake with uncontrollable laughter and while I'm relieved to have dodged that bullet I'm still embarrassed beyond relief.

"Of course I have! I may be getting old but I'm not dead. Annie hasn't lived with me for six years, Christian, what do you _think _I've been doing all this time?" _Working? Fishing? Steak night with your best friend Bill on a Thursday? _Because that's what sweet little 'Annie' has been telling me. Although it's becoming quite abundantly clear that my girl doesn't know _half _of what her father gets up to. "We've always had a connection. Carla _hated _it, I think deep down I'm the reason for their strained relationship, even before Ana was attacked they were never close."

"Why didn't you ever act on it? Your connection?"

"Like I said, I was madly in love with my wife even if she was a deceitful liar. I couldn't even entertain the idea of cheating on her."

"No, I mean after you divorced? Why didn't you pursue Jen?"

"I didn't even know where she was, Christian. One day she was there and one day she wasn't, I wanted to find her but not for me, I wanted to find her for Ana. That kid missed her every damn day it was heartbreaking."

"And now?" I arch an eyebrow and peer at him quietly over the rim of my glass.

"No," He shakes his head with a soft smile, scrubbing a hand over his face. "We're different people now, son. It's been _ten_ years. Jen's moved on and so have I, there's no use in trudging over old ground."

"I'm sure if Ana knew-"

"Anastasia doesn't need to know either, there isn't even anything to _know. _We were close and now we're not, we've never been intimate together and we never will be so can we just drop it."

Okay, so when your father in-law asks you to drop something, you fucking drop it. Especially when he looks at you with dark, cold eyes, his lips pursed into a thin line before draining the remainder of his scotch and roughly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I dumbly nod my head, ensuring solid eye contact is made as I set my glass onto the breakfast bar and squeeze his shoulder.

It looks I'm not the only man madly in love here tonight.

* * *

Anastasia's POV  


"This is _incredible._"

Kate purrs, her eyes fluttering closed as she flexes her toes the best she can in her body wrap. Chloe, my anaesthetist buries her hands in my loose hair and starts to work her unbelievable magic, working Sodashi mud into my scalp. I swear this is better than sex, even if said sex _is_ with Christian Grey. My entire body goes lax and limp, the soothing music that's playing in the background lulling me into a sense of exhaustion.

"How come we've never done this before?"

"Because you don't get married every freaking week that's why. _This _is definitely better than Vegas."

"Absolutely," I moan. "Although I'm still red raw, I feel like I've been polished within an inch of my life."

"I feel like a new woman!" She beams brightly. "I'll feel even fresher after we get the you know what."

I literally groan out loud and Chloe's hands still in my hair, no doubt scared she's hurt me somehow so I quickly open my eyes and smile up at her urging her to continue. I've been putting it off all day. So far we've had a thermal infusing facial, a top to toe mani-pedi with paraffin wax and a refining body toner but Kate is still so damn insistent on getting waxed before heading to lunch.

I've been getting monthly waxes since I was eighteen but for some reason it's the last thing I want today. Christian hasn't complained about my little 'landing strip' so I'm pretty reluctant to get it removed, although _he _did fuck me senseless after Olivia mentioned it during dinner that time. He got so worked up he came before I did and trust me, that _never _happens. I only want to make him happy so I guess I'll be sprawled out right next to my best friend when the time comes, my legs spread and fists clenched as I yell obscenities at the poor soul with her hand between my thighs.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you." Kate turns her head slightly to look at me, her eyes hooded and heavy. "Did you ever let Christian give you anal after you mentioned it that time?"

My eyes flow open and my face flushes to the point where I'm sure I look beet red. Much to my surprise, Chloe doesn't so much as blink as she continues to apply pressure to my temples in slow, deep circles. I don't respond, I _can__'__t _respond. I'm too mortified to even form a coherent sentence.

"I only ask because Elliot wants to try it. The thought of it has never got my boat rocking before but I don't know…I guess there's a first for everything, right?"

I can't _believe _she's discussing this here with two young women hovering over us with their fingers attached to our scalps. Out of all the damn conversations we could be having and Kate chooses _this? _Fucking anal sex?

"Jesus, Kate," I breathe.

"What? Oh come on, Ana, don't get all shy on me. I'm sure they've heard it all before." She untangles a hand from underneath her towels and waves it in the air, shuffling down the bed slightly to get more comfortable. "I'm almost certain Elliot's done it before but I don't want to ask him, I'm sure I'd hit the roof if he actually admits it. _Especially _if he's done it with that Cassidy skank."

_Cassidy? Wow. I haven__'__t thought about her for a long time__…_

"What the hell do you want to know?" I huff, closing my eyes again because I can't bear to have this conversation with them open.

"Like, does it hurt? How the hell did it even _fit_? It just seems so…_abnormal _to me."

"It fits, trust me." I scoff. "It didn't feel great at first, but after a while I don't know…you just sort of get used to it."

"Did you cum?"

Fucking hell! Is she like, _immune _to other people around her or something? I'm sure Kate's right in what she says about these women having heard it all before but _still_! I really don't relish the thought of discussing my orgasms in front of complete strangers. "It felt good and that's all I'm saying."

"I don't know," She sighs thoughtfully. "I'm still on the fence. I struggle to even take a _finger _up there let alone anything else!"

And because I couldn't feel anymore embarrassed after that conversation if I tried, I have no problem in hiking the towel up after Chloe removes the French Pink Clay from my skin and spreading my legs as wide as they'll go.

"I'll have the Brazilian."

* * *

_Author's note: The Bachelor and Bachelorette parties continue in the next chapter. __Thank you to ALL my readers who have left me such lovely and positive reviews, believe me when I say that reading them makes me write faster! _

_Don't forget to check out the Pinterest page! _


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven - Anyone Got a Hammer?

* * *

Anastasia's POV  


The soft, fluffy material of my robe chafes against my thighs every time I move and I can still feel my skin being ripped to shreds but I smile through it, sipping on my passion fruit mimosa as we sit for lunch in the main dining room, the outstanding views of the falls and Snoqualmie River taking my breath away. Grace takes hold of her mother's elbow as she drops into the seat opposite mine and hands her a tall glass of iced-tea.

"Did you have a good nap?" This woman is in her early seventies but she doesn't look a day over fifty, she's quite easily one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. _Now I know where Grace inherits her stunning beauty from. _

"Oh yes, honey. I hope you didn't mind me sloping off? I get cranky if I don't get my mid-morning snooze." She flashes me a wink and unfolds her napkin, elegantly draping it over her dainty knee. "Did I miss anything exciting?"

"Don't worry, Grams, you haven't missed the stripper yet." A fresh faced Mia stretches her neck out and smirks cheekily across the table, eliciting a hearty laugh from her Grandmother.

"Oh thank goodness for that!"

Conversation flows over Caesar salads, seafood chowders and Bloody Mary's. I finally get to know Lou a little better which is surprising considering her daughter is in my wedding. Apparently Bethany threw a tantrum this morning because she couldn't come along to the '_patchloret__'_and when Jake threatened to burn her bridesmaid dress if she didn't behave she shut right up. Lou admits that it was harsh but _oh_ so affective.

I knew they had her young, Christian filled me in on the minor details but hearing it from Lou's mouth is somewhat different. She was a teenager, barely had the chance to live her life like a normal seventeen year old before falling pregnant, her whole world flipped upside down. I remember how petrified I felt when Christian first breached the subject of trying for a baby so how the hell did Lou feel when she actually _had _a baby?

"Jake was pretty much MIA throughout the pregnancy," She shares, tucking a strand of hair back into the messy bun at the crown of her head. "He didn't want a kid, _I _didn't want a kid. It's so true what they say about it being different for the woman."

"What do you mean?"

"It was a quick hook up in the backseat of his dad's car," She lowers her voice and leans away from Fran to the right of her. "We hadn't even known each other long and then all of a sudden I was pregnant, and as much as I wanted to I couldn't resent my baby. She was part of _me._"

"But Jake did?"

"Resent is a strong word, he was more freaked out and totally unwilling to grow up, I dropped out of school and lost a lot of friends because let's face it," She snorts derisively. "No-one wants to hang out with the knocked up chick when they could be partying every Friday night."

"Christian told me you almost split?"

"A few weeks before Bethy was born," Lou nods her head once and reaches for her water, taking a hearty sip. "I was sick of him never being there for me, for _us. _I was seventeen and pregnant with absolutely no future and there he was with his life pretty much in tact. He was an _ass." _

"But he seems to be so in love with Bethany?"

"He adores her," She smiles fondly before shaking her head. "My dad lunged for him when he tried walking into that delivery suite but I wanted him there, I was out of my mind with pain relief and I wanted to sock him in the face for the way he treated me but the second she was placed into his arms, all red and scrunched up he fell in love with her. We both did. Now I can never imagine my life without her, she was meant to be with us."

I don't know if it's the vodka in the Bloody Mary, the fact that I'm missing Christian or because my vagina feels like it's on fire but I wipe away a stray tear without even realising it. Her daughter is the most beautiful and precious thing in the world to her and despite a tough struggle, she's engaged to the love of her life and they have an amazing family together.

It puts so much into perspective for me, all of the small doubts and niggling fears I still had about becoming a mother disappear into thin air. If Lou could give up school and raise a child at seventeen years old then what the hell is stopping me? What do _I _have to be afraid of? Not only is he the most financially stable man I've ever met in my life, Christian will without a shadow of a doubt make the most wonderful father to our children. He worships the ground I walk on so what will he be like with a baby? _Our baby? _

Damn. The mere thought of it makes my ovaries skip a beat.

After warm peanut butter tart, we change into spandex shorts and sports bras before heading to the hidden terrace for a gentle yoga class, Grace opting to stay behind with her mother for a cocktail in the lounge bar.

We stretch and sit on the mats, bending our knees and drawing our heels back as we lean into a head to knee forward bend, the lithe yoga instructor walking us through each pose step-by-step. I'm not a pro, and I haven't attended a class since meeting Christian but each stretch and twist flows back like I never stopped. Fran surprises the hell out of me by remaining quiet and focused throughout the session, she doesn't even snicker or make lewd innuendos when we press our hands against the floor and slide our buttocks forward into wide-angle bend. Something I was just _waiting _for with baited breath.

My temples throb slightly afterwards and for that I blame the champagne and cocktails we had over lunch but other than that I feel light and relaxed, I've visited various spas over the years with Kate and Olivia but Salish Lodge is completely out of this _world. _For a split second I regret deciding against having our wedding here, the photos by the waterfall would be absolutely insane but when I think about beautiful Lakewold and the garden where I'll recite my vows, I know I made the right decision.

I vaguely remember Brody suggesting this place for a weekend away, just the two of us but now I'm certain he only did it because he cheated on me with Evie and was feeling guilty. The timing fits like a damn glove. Thank fuck I didn't take him up on it, I would have never even considered here if I had. I don't want my bachelorette party tainted with memories of _him. _

"I can literally hear my pores weeping in sweet relief," Kate stretches out and tilts her face towards the ceiling as we lounge in the steam room, the heat sticking to the hairs at the nape of my neck. "I can't stop staring at your tits in that bikini, Ana. I mean…_Seriously?_ Do you know how much a woman would pay to get a rack like yours?"

"Slight exaggeration, Kate,"

"That's what you think. Elliot agrees with me..."

"_Elliot?_" I shriek, my eyes flying open as I bolt upright and turn to stare at her. "You discuss my cleavage with Elliot? My fiancé's brother? _Your _boyfriend?"

"He's a man," She shrugs. "You _know _that he looks, Steele, it doesn't mean anything."

"Don't tell Christian that for crying out loud! In fact don't tell anyone that."

"She's right, Ana." Ros squints at me through one eye, the other refusing to open even for a second. "And I'm not saying this simply because I'm a lover of boobs myself, but brother or not he stares. I've seen him."

"This conversation is starting to weird me out," I shake my head and purse my lips into a thin line. Not to mention it's totally inappropriate, guys."

"Why? It's only human nature and besides, you can't exactly _miss _those bad boys, Ana so why bother trying." Kate leans back, stretches her arms above her head and smirks as she closes her eyes again. "Which is why you can't wear that frumpy-ass dress tonight. If you've got it, flaunt it."

"Just because it won't get me arrested doesn't make it frumpy."

"I beg to differ," She grumbles. "This is your last night of freedom! Which means you're walking out of here looking hotter than hell, Anastasia Steele so _don't _fight me on it."

Ros, Fran and Kate leave the steam room for the therapeutic pool ten minutes later leaving Olivia and I alone. I get the impression that something's on her mind when she chews down on her thumb nail and bounces her leg as she twists on the spot to face me, her face is flushed but I don't think it's from the heat.

"Do you think I should call Blake?"

"Where did that come from?"

"Seeing him this morning made me realise how much I miss him, and before you start pulling that face it doesn't mean I want him back. I don't think he'd take me back even if I did."

"Then what is it? I thought things were awkward as hell between you?" _Not that I know why. _

"Exactly. I was _such _a bitch to him when we first broke up and I guess I'm starting to regret it," She puffs her cheeks out. "You know what I get like when I'm on the defensive."

"Have you been thinking about this all day?"

"Mostly. We'll be together for an entire twenty-four hours next week and I don't want it to be like…_this. _Did you see the way he looked at me this morning? I wanted the ground to swallow me whole."

"We've all been there, Liv. You're only human."

"Now I think about it, I can't even remember _why _things are so damn awkward between us. I mean it's not like anyone cheated."

This is what I've been thinking all along but I've just been too afraid to say it. Break-ups are tough, they're never easy for anyone but the tension between these two has been plain unbearable. Anyone looking in would thinkthat someone _had_ cheated it's been that bad. I refrain from picking at the corners of my nail polish and swipe a damp strand of hair away from my face instead, it's getting damn hot in here. "What about tomorrow? We're all meeting for lunch remember?"

"Shit, I completely forgot." Palming her forehead she closes her eyes and mumbles something inaudible. "Do you think I should speak to him before then?"

"I think you should do what makes you most comfortable, and don't listen to Kate either, she talks complete bullshit sometimes."

"She's right though. I _did _throw a perfectly good relationship away."

"Kate doesn't know anything." I say with an accompanied eye roll. "I love her but she seems to forget that her and Elliot were less than perfect when they first started out. She's done nothing but slate Blake ever since you split so take everything she says with a pinch of salt."

"At least she knows what she wants out of life, that's more than what I've got."

"You need to stop tormenting yourself and do what makes you happy. If Blake can do that then great, but if he can't…"

"Don't bother trying, yeah I know. I've had the same conversation with myself _so_ many times."

"You and Blake getting back together would make the perfect wedding present," I joke, trying to lighten the mood when her shoulders slump in defeat. She looks like someone has just shot her puppy. "I hate seeing you like this."

"I hate _feeling _like this. Life was much easier before I met Blake that's for sure."

"Who wants easy? It wouldn't be love if it wasn't difficult, Liv." I gently nudge her shoulder and throw her a wink. "Come on, let's get out of here before I pass out."

* * *

Back in the suite, the girls launch an attack using a curling iron and a thousand make-up brushes. Grace squeezes the air out of my lungs before ushering Grams into the waiting elevator ready to take her home. Nicki Minaj blares through the sound system as I'm forced in to sitting cross legged on the bed for a full forty-five minutes while Fran dabs my cheeks with god knows what and coats my eyelashes in way too much mascara.

Naturally Olivia is on hair-styling duty, her fingers twisting at my locks and refusing to let me look in a mirror. Not that I'm worried, I'm surrounded with gorgeous women who _know _hair and make-up like the back of their hands. It's not like I'm letting thirteen year old teenagers experiment with my face.

"This one."

"Kate, it's-"

"Hot. The word you're looking for is hot, Ana so please just humour me and wear it."

"You do realise Sawyer will just report back to Christian don't you? He'll only make me change,"

"Not if I've got anything to do with it," Fran winks at me as she slides her feet into champagne coloured peep-toe heels. "Kate's right, this is _your _night. Embrace it, babe."

I stand with a hand stuck to my hip for a good two minutes, gnawing on my lower lip as I contemplate my options. I either wear the dress and piss Christian off, or refuse to wear the dress and piss my friends off. They're not wrong in what they're saying either, it's a _knockout. _

Fuck it.

Slipping my silk knee-length robe off my shoulders I step into the black, body-con dress with capped sleeves and mesh panelling along the stomach and hem line. It hits my mid-thigh and it's bordering along indecent but I can't deny how liberating it is to wear something this sexy. Kate has a shit eating grin on her face, Olivia claps her hands together with an excited squeal and Ros blatantly checks me out, her eyes grazing over the length of my body with an appraising glint. I can't say I'm not flattered.

"You look fucking unreal, Steele. Grey will swallow his tongue when he sees you,"

"That's what I'm worried about." I mumble, fingering the flimsy fabric and standing awkwardly.

"Don't sweat it, he's the one that gets to peel you out of it."

"Not tonight he won't," I'm forced into silence when she curls her fingers around my jaw and swipes a coat of nude gloss over my lips before dropping to her knees and working lotion into my legs. "Promise me there isn't a stripper."

"I already told-"

"I know you have but I want to hear it again, Kate. I _know _you."

Clasping my shoulders, she bends her knees and smirks deviously. "I promised you that I wouldn't and I meant it, there won't be any surprises you have my word. Christian has already given me my orders."

"And you listened?" One eyebrow arches in sarcastic disbelief, eliciting a snort of laughter from my best friend. "I'm stunned."

"I told him that he shouldn't get used to it."

After a final glass of champagne and a vodka shot for luck, we leave the suite and find Sawyer and Bailey stationed outside in their usual all black ensemble. Fran practically struts towards her boyfriend and throws her arms around his neck, driving her tongue into his mouth and not giving a shit who's watching. I almost blush when Luke squeezes her ass and growls in her ear, it's times like these that I forget he's my CPO. He looks so…_normal. _How old is he? Twenty-five, twenty-six? He's so young yet he's responsible for my safety and well-being, personally I find it bat-shit crazy but I can't say I'm not grateful. He _does _keep me alive after all.

"Who the fuck forgot to order a limo?"

"I didn't want one," I push Kate towards the waiting SUV and tap her hip when she takes her sweet time in climbing inside. "I don't want to draw attention to us, it's bad enough as it is."

"Do you think there will be paps there tonight?"

"I hope not," I murmur and adjust the strap of my dress, my fingers itching to creep into my clutch bag so I can text Christian on the sly. Fuck, I'm missing him like crazy and I only saw him this morning. "That would just piss me off to the maximum."

Fran leans into the front of the car and kisses Sawyer's cheek before flicking the music on, cranking the volume to full blast despite Bailey's attempts to swat her hand away. His palms cover his ears and when he bellows at her to 'turn it the fuck down' she just laughs and ruffles his hair, Luke shaking his head and grinning like the love-sick fool he is.

"Hey! No work allowed Roslyn!"

My fiancé's right hand woman glances up from her Blackberry and shoots me a sly wink, her fingers still tapping away at the melded plastic stuck in her hand as she elegantly crosses one leg over the other. I think I would be insanely jealous of this woman if she wasn't gay, not that I don't trust Christian because I do, but Ros is undeniably beautiful and she's around him more than I am sometimes. Her dark red hair is thick and glossy, curling around her above average-sized breasts and her skin is smooth and flawless. She actually reminds me of a real life Jessica Rabbit. All that's missing is the red, floor-length dress and the purple gloves reaching her elbows.

Not to mention she's ballsy as fuck. I've always wondered why she'd even _want _to take Christian on, I love my man but he's not the most laid-back of people that's for sure. He's temperamental, fiery, and an outright hot-head. Where I find it passionate and endearing others don't, but one look at Ros as she curses under her breath about incompetent fuckers who can't even proof-read an email and I'm sold. This chick is in a league of her own.

After a loud and intoxicated thirty-minute drive we arrive at the club, the secluded VIP section already cornered off with an ice-bucket and champagne waiting for us. Mia is already shuffling on her feet and itching to dance as the heavy and sensual beat blasts through the air. I'm still pretty buzzed from the spa but that doesn't stop Fran from poring me a large flute of champagne and handing it to me with a sly wink.

A blonde burly guy wearing a crisp, white shirt that looks like it cost more than the champagne I'm guzzling introduces himself and informs us that he'll be our private server throughout the night and of course this only encourages Fran and Kate who burst into a fit of whistles and cat-calls. _I swear these two were separated at birth. _The poor kid glances at the floor and even through the dim lighting of the club I can tell he's blushing, I can see Sawyer checking him out and watching him like a hawk but he doesn't look the least bit worried which tells me he's already been vetted.

"A bottle of your finest tequila, hot stuff." Kate squeezes his ass and I want to die, literally _die. _It's way too early for this and I'm nowhere near drunk enough yet but when he leaves our booth with a spring in his step and a glint in his eye I know he isn't offended. _Or gay._ "Hey, can you remember the last time we were here? Fran had just given Lukey a blow job."

"Aaah, memories. I'm hoping we can re-create the whole thing again tonight with a few changes."

"Changes?" Olivia frowns.

"Last time it was all about him and tonight I want it to be all about _me. _I'm so over all the chasing I did back then, now I have him exactly where I want him."

Lou is the first to drag me onto the dance floor not that I'm surprised. She's twenty-two and a young mother who most probably doesn't get out all that much anymore, tonight she's childless as well as _Jakeless _and she looks like she's having an absolute blast.

An old Britney track with a thick beat thumps through the speakers and glides down my ear drums like liquid silk. How does that happen? How can you be sober as a judge one second and the next you're on your feet and ready to move like a pole dancer? Bailey hovers close by and I'm more than aware of his presence, he doesn't even blend in! He's constantly talking into his sleeve like some damn FBI agent and when a guy dances a little too close behind me he moves in like lightening, slamming his forearm into his chest and shooting him daggers.

If I wasn't so tipsy I'd be mortified.

Three songs later I'm sweaty and flushed, reaching for two ice-cubes out of the champagne bucket and swiping them across my neck when my hair starts to stick. Olivia is surprisingly coherent still but everyone else is wasted. I've lost sight of Fran so I can only guess she's off with Sawyer 're-creating' the memories and Kate stormed off to the bar for more liquor when he snatched her phone away after threatening to hire a last minute stripper, stealing one of those cheap business cards out of the bathroom when she went to pee ten minutes go.

_Talking of peeing…_

Knowing I'll be in the shit if I don't tell anyone where I'm going, I leave the booth in the hunt for Bailey but bump into Luke instead. He catches on when I point to the exit at the far end of the dance floor and nods his head, whispering something to Fran as she re-appears looking more dishevelled than she did the last time I last saw her.

Of course, Christian doesn't answer when I secretly call him from inside the stall after tugging my g-string down one handed, balancing my phone between my ear and shoulder blade and smiling proudly when I manage to _not _drop it down the toilet. Elliot will have that thing shoved down the front of his pants if I know him as well as I think I do, determined to keep contact between me and my man to a bare minimum.

I don't care though, hearing his sexy as fuck voice when the dial tone cuts to his answer phone is enough. I'm half tempted to send him a dirty snap while I'm sat here panty-less on the toiler but that's just my drunken brain doing all the talking, I'm horny as hell and I miss him like crazy but I'm fully aware of how _un-sexy _I look right now. I want the last memory of me to be the one where I had just came as I humped his thigh in the hallway, not me now, all drunk and sweaty with make-up sliding off my face.

I quickly wash my hands and fluff the roots of my hair with my fingers, dabbing a face cloth over my damp forehead before partly re-applying my make-up. The door opens behind me but I'm too focused on fixing my smudged lipstick to check who it is, thinking that it's Kate looking for me I remain with my back to the door completely oblivious to the figure coming to a stop at the sink beside me. A tissue is shoved in front of my face, perfectly manicured talons curled around the rag as a voice I haven't heard in so long slices through the air like a ten-inch blade.

"You missed a bit,"

Wide-eyed and stunned, I slowly pivot on the spot and turn to face the bitch beside me, my fists clenching involuntarily as I look at the woman who tried to ruin my life. Well, _helped _ruin my life.

Cassidy.

She too turns to face me, looking fucking gorgeous in a flesh coloured dress that barely covers her ass. She's still as infuriatingly beautiful as I remember her to be which surprises me considering she's nothing but a trashy junkie. I don't say anything, I _can't _say anything. I haven't seen this woman in months, not since Elliot fired her for getting Brody hooked on cocaine but all of the hate I feel for her comes flooding back, I'm drunk but I could still wipe the floor with this whore if I wanted to. _Oh, how I want to. _Where the fuck is Sawyer? Hasn't he seen her yet?

"I don't want to fight." She all but purrs through cranberry coloured lips, her fingernails tapping against the cool surface of the vanity counter. "I saw you dancing with your friends so I followed you in here, I just want to talk."

"What the hell could we possibly have to talk about?" I seethe, fury boiling and threatening to spill over at any given second. "I don't _want _to talk to you."

"I heard about your engagement." She ignores me completely and it only serves to piss me off further. "Congratulations."

"Congratulations? That's what you came in here to say?"

"I know you hate me and I don't blame you. What I did…It's unforgivable but I still want to apologise."

"For what?" I fold my arms across my chest and stare her down, my shoulders square and my back straight as I take a protective stance. "For trying to fuck my best friend's boyfriend? For fucking my ex? Or are you apologising for dragging him into your pathetic, drug fuelled world and ruining his life?"

She bows her head and traps a lip in-between her teeth, gnawing on it nervously. If I didn't know her better I would think she was _actually _sorry but I do and she's not. This is all just another fucking game to her, just like Brody was a game to her. A toy she could manipulate and fuck whenever she wanted. A means to an end.

"Brody came to me," She whispers quietly. "I didn't sleep with him while you were still together."

"Oh, _please!" _I throw my head back and laugh loudly, slamming my palm against the granite and widening my feet. "Do you seriously think I give a fuck about that? I couldn't care less if you were having sex with him our bed with me in it! Brody is a dirty, lying bastard and you two deserved each other. It's quite sad you didn't work out really." My voice is dripping with sarcasm and contempt.

"We were a mistake, Ana. He was only using me to get over you."

"I wouldn't care if he loved you, that's _not _my issue and you know it."

"Look, I know what you must think of me and trust me when I tell you that I'm disgusted with myself, I never intended for things to go that far."

"But they did, Cassidy. You…I just can't…" I shove my hands in my hair and close my eyes, words escape me. They fucking _escape _me. "Why him? Why couldn't you just leave him alone? You knew he was in a bad place after we broke up but you didn't give a shit did you? As long as you had another loser to shove that shit up your nose with." I spit.

"It wasn't like that." She frowns and I want to laugh, like she even has the right to look insulted. "Why are you defending him after what he did to you?"

"Now, you listen to me when I say that I hate that man with every fibre of my being." I point a finger in her face and take a step closer, wishing that I had one of those damn rape whistles just so I'd attract someone's attention. "But I hate you just as much, you were the one who got inside his head and made him feel worthless, Cassidy. You were the who shoved him into a downward spiral until things got so bad all he could do was attack me."

"I never told him to attack you, Ana." She raises her voice and slowly but surely, the Cassidy that I know and loathe creeps to the surface, her eyes boring into my face like fucking daggers. "He left my apartment that night and I didn't see him until…not until after."

"Oh yeah, when you covered for him and left me bleeding to death? Thanks for that, _friend._"

"I…" She stutters, not sure what the hell to even say. Nothing - _nothing _could justify their actions that night, neither of them tried to help me and for that I'll never forgive her. She could have called for help, told an ambulance where I was but she didn't. She just covered for that fucker's lying ass instead and let my distraught boyfriend find me. Bile rises in my throat and I fight to keep it down. "I didn't realise things had gotten that bad, if I had…I _would _have tried to help him."

"I wish I could believe that but I don't. I don't believe a single word you have to say and I never will."

"I fell for him, you know?" I don't even flinch. I'm numb and void to any feelings regarding these monsters and I refuse to change that. "I don't know how or why but I did, he threw me away like a piece of trash when he turned himself into the police."

"He didn't turn himself in," I deadpan. "Christian forced Brody to do the right thing for once in his miserable life."

"Christian?" She frowns and cocks her head to the side, a knowing smirk on her face as she rolls her eyes. "So _that's _why he was black and blue."

_She went to see him. _Doesn't shock me in the slightest, I'm guessing that's when he told her to fuck off. "Is there anything else you want to say to me because I'm getting bored."

I sigh heavily and drop my arms just as the bathroom door flies open, almost coming off it's hinges when Luke Sawyer barrels in like a demon possessed with fiery eyes and ragged breathing.

"Hey, asshole this is the ladies!" Cassidy scowls at my CPO but her ire doesn't last for long when she realises who he is, her face draining of all colour as she gulps audibly.

"You," He points one long finger in the devil's direction and takes a step closer. "Get the fuck out before I throw you out."

"We were just talking-"

"Not anymore you're not. Leave. Now."

"There's no need to go all G.I fucking Joe on me, I haven't even touched her."

"Do you think you'd still be standing if I thought you had," In one fluid movement, Sawyer curls a hand around her forearm and drags her towards the door, ignoring her squeals of protest as she threatens to sue. "If I see you anywhere near her again I'll fucking ruin you, you got that?"

He doesn't even give her time to answer before the door is slammed in her face, her appalled expression and wide eyes the last thing I see. I slump against the wall behind me and wrap my arms around my midsection, all energy now gone. _Well that's one way to kill my mood. _

"Are you okay, Ana?"

"Fine," I mutter dejectedly. "How the hell did she even get in here without someone seeing her?"

"She must have managed to slope past Bailey in the hallway while he was waiting for you. Don't worry, I'll kick his ass before the night's out."

Before Christian does he means. Oh _fuck _Christian.

"Will you report back to Taylor?"

"Did she threaten or upset you?"

"She pissed me the hell off and I wanted nothing more than to punch her but no, she made no physical contact."

"Then there's nothing to report." He places both hands on my shoulders and smiles softly - reassuringly. "I knew something was wrong when you didn't come out after five minutes."

"Gut feeling?" I offer him a half smile and he nods.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Fuck no,"

Sliding past him I face the mirror and finish what I started before that bitch interrupted me. A quick fluff of a blusher brush and half a tube of lip-gloss later and I'm ready to get back out there and finish what's left of my night. Cassidy has already taken so much from me, she didn't care about me when I almost died so why should she start now? We were never friends and we never will be, I wouldn't be surprised if she was jumping for joy when I left Brody for Christian, finally able to pounce in like the slut she is.

"I can bring the car around all you have to do is say the word,"

"I'm fine, Luke." I smile at him through the mirror. "Now, let's get out of here before _you _get arrested for hiding out in the ladies room."

* * *

My throat feels like it's swallowed a ton of gravel and my head is heavy and pounding, light flickers through as I squint my eyes open, the effort too much to handle so I flop back down onto the bed with a tortured groan. I'm lying on my stomach, hands stretched out underneath the pillow and the sheet is covering my naked ass. _Why __**am **__I naked? _

I feel him before I see him. Christian is stroking my back and his fingers are tracing the length of my spine as he swoops the hair off my neck and kisses me behind the ear. His breath is warm and minty, caressing my skin like a glove and I can't help the moan that escapes my lips when I turn my head and see him stretched out beside me looking so fucking hot and sexy. It pisses me off that he can look so good this early…Is it even early?

"What time is it?" I croak, my mouth as dry as the bottom of a bird cage.

"Eleven. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been pounded with a hammer while I've been asleep. Why aren't you hung-over?"

"Because I didn't drink as much as you clearly did, that's why." His fingers slide behind my ear, tucking a curl away and gliding down the length of my neck until he reaches my shoulder blade. "Did you know that you snore when you're drunk and hazy?"

"I do not!" I wince, air hissing through my teeth when I attempt to sit up, instantly regretting the stupid fucking decision the second I do it.

"You do," He chuckles. "It's pretty cute, actually. You're like a little grizzly bear."

"How long have you been here?"

"Do you mean how long have I been watching you sleep?" I nod with a sly smirk. "Over half an hour, you're so fucking beautiful when you're sleeping."

"What time did you even _leave _this morning? It's a ninety-minute drive!"

"Not early enough," He groans and shuffles down the bed, kicking his socks off and snuggling in closer to me. Fuck, if he does that I'll be asleep again within seconds. "All I could think about was you here in our bed alone and missing me. Imagine my surprise when I walk in to find you naked?" Christian wags an eyebrow and bends to kiss me square on the mouth, ignoring me when I smack a hand over my lips and grumble about vile morning breath.

"I must have passed out before I could do anything about it."

"I should be fucking pissed at you for being so reckless but you looked so hot I couldn't get angry despite wanting to. You weren't even under the covers, baby, you must have been wasted."

"I was," I yawn loudly. "It was an eventful evening _that's _for sure."

I don't realise I've even done it until I look up and find grey eyes staring back at me intently. The stroking of my back seizes and his strong jaw ticks as he watches me, waiting for me to elaborate. "Care to share what that means?"

"I just mean it was a heavy night, that's all. You know what Kate and Live get like it was tequila shots all-"

"Why don't I believe you?" He cuts me off sharply, his hand curling around my jaw and pulling me towards him so I can't break eye contact. "Tell me what you mean."

I'm tired, hung-over, grumpy and this is the first time I've laid eyes on my man in over twenty-four hours, this isn't what I want to be doing right now. I'm already halfway there, I'm horny and I'm naked, why can't he just hurry up and join me? "Christian-"

"Shall I just go and ask Sawyer? Because I fucking _will_, Anastasia so don't push me."

"You're reading _way _too much into this," I slam my palms against the mattress and push myself up, tugging the sheet over my exposed nipples and ignoring the way Christian is looking at me because it will take less than half a second for me to succumb to his sexual prowess. "Nothing bad even happened."

"But something happened?"

"Sort of-"

"Quit with the fucking riddles, Ana and just tell me." I bite down hard on my lip, gasping when he tugs at my mouth and gets so in my face our noses are almost touching. "Tell me and then I'll fuck you. I've needed to fuck you ever since I saw the picture of you in that damn dress last night."

Words escape me as I stare back at him, unable to breathe for what feels like hours when in reality it's barely even seconds. _How did he?…When did he?…__**How? **_The smug fucker smirks at my stunned expression and swipes a thumb across my lower lip, gliding down my throat and sternum until he reaches my chest, his hand hovering over the swell of my breast. I can literally _feel _the heat of his touch and it's intoxicating.

"Cassidy was at the club last night,"

"Cassidy?" He zeros in on me, still holding the side of my face in a possessive manner. It's terrifying and arousing all at the same time. "You saw her?"

"I didn't approach her, she approached _me_ in the bathroom."

"When?" His jaw clenches and his grip tightens.

"Just after I called you. She said she wanted to talk."

"Talk? She wanted to fucking _talk?_"

His voice is lower than a whisper which only means one thing. He's barely holding onto his rage and at any given second he'll snap like an elastic fucking band, the thought sends me into a panic, my breathing speeds up and my toes curl in trepidation. I don't want to fight over this but something tells me we're about to. Even if he isn't mad at me he'll take it out on me.

"I stood my ground, Christian. I didn't even let her finish sentences half the time, she wanted a fight but I _refused _to give her one."

"Where the fuck was Sawyer when all of this was going on?"

When I bite my lip and lower my gaze he's up and off the bed, running both hands through his hair and heading straight for the door with profanity after profanity spilling from his mouth.

"Where are you going?"

"To get answers."

"Christian Grey, don't you dare blame Sawyer for this. I swear to _God _I'll call off this wedding if you do."

A fleeting glance and an eye roll is all I get before he's barrelling down the hallway and yelling for Taylor at the top of his voice. He's been home for what…Forty-five minutes? This is just fucking perfect, absolutely _wonderful. _I'm not an idiot, I knew I'd have to tell him the truth about seeing Cassidy but this wasn't the reaction I was expecting. It's not like she touched me, she didn't even threaten me but I know the over-protective side to my fiance will out win the rational side in a heartbeat.

I mutter to myself in annoyance when I can't find my damn robe anywhere and I refuse to put that dress back on this early in the day, so instead I rummage through the chest of drawers like a woman possessed and pull an old tee-shirt over my head and step into a tiny pair of boy shorts. My phone vibrates on the nightstand scaring the shit out of me and when I see it's only a text from Kate, I strongly consider ignoring it before realising she'll only call me if I do.

**-The room is still fucking spinning. Remind me to **_**never **_**drink again, this is so not worth it.**

_Is it ever?…_

**-I can't really talk now, I'll call you later - A  
**

**-Everything okay?  
**

**-I'm not sure yet, I told Christian about Cassidy.  
**

**-Ouch. How did he take it?  
**

**-I'm yet to find out, but it's not looking good.  
**

**-If you don't call me in half an hour I'm coming round. Oh! I have a surprise for you… It's right here at my apartment. I'll show you later ;)  
**

_A surprise? _What sort of surprise? I don't reply because the second my feet hit the bottom step I hear raised voices, the loudest being Christian's as he refuses to let anyone else get a word in edgeways. Tossing my now forgotten phone on the armchair I press my ear against the door to Christian's study in the hopes of catching anything audible. He must have a damn tracker on me or something because right then the room falls silent, muffled murmurs the only thing I can hear.

My fingernails are in my mouth and my feet are shuffling against the carpet as I wait impatiently, each passing second feeling like an hour. I knew I should have called him last night, _that's _why he's pissed. He was over an hour away most probably drunk and completely in the dark, he couldn't check if I was okay and he couldn't come to me. I didn't want to worry the man but now I'm here, eavesdropping and lurking around corners I wish I'd done just that. Anything's better than this.

I jump out of my skin when the door flies open, Taylor closing it behind him quickly to prevent Christian from seeing me. I feel like a child who's been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing, but then I remember I'm a twenty-four year old woman in my own home outside _my _fiance's office and that I'm doing fuck all wrong. I deserve answers.

"Did he fire you?"

Jason snorts and shakes his head. "I wasn't even here he can't fire me."

"Is he firing Sawyer then? Oh god is he making _you _fire Sawyer?"

"Ana," _I still can't get used to hearing my first name coming from his mouth. _"No-one is getting fired, okay? They're just having a…discussion."

"It sounded like one heated discussion." I mumble and suck on my thumb nail again, a habit I seemed to have taken up since meeting Christian. "I should go in there."

"I don't think that's wise." His fingers curl around my wrist and pull me back when I move to slide past him. "You'll only anger the situation."

"So there _is _a situation?" I narrow my eyes.

"You were cornered in a bathroom by a potential threat, Ana. I'd say that's more than a situation."

"She didn't corner me and even if she did, I handled it perfectly fine by myself. I don't need-"

"I know. I know you handled her yourself because Luke told me."

"He did? When?"

"Last night." He sighs and brushes past me, scrubbing a hand over his face as he heads into the kitchen and fiddles with the coffee machine, impressing me when he manages to make a cappuccino without a hitch. _Even Christian can't do that and he bought the thing. _"It's protocol. He needed to tell me about Cassidy as soon as it happened."

"But you didn't tell Christian?"

He leans against the island and takes a sip of his coffee, pushing a latte across the granite and letting it slide towards me. I curl my hands around the cup and bask in the warmth when a shiver runs down the length of my spine. "He chewed my ass out over it." I frown in confusion. "Mr. Grey, I mean. I came _this _close to getting on my knees and begging for forgiveness."

"Why didn't you tell him as soon as you heard what happened?"

"Because the fucker was finally enjoying himself," He huffs. "Do you know what it took to even get him there in the first place? He was so hell bent on having a shit time that he didn't even realise he was actually having fun until he passed out face down in the hot tub smashed out of his skull."

"He passed out?" I screech, my eyes wide and my hands flailing out wildly. "In the _water?!" _

"Don't worry, Blake caught him before he hit the bottom." He deadpans like the love of my life drowning in the damn hot tub isn't even an issue. "I didn't want to ruin the night over something that had already been dealt with. Had the bitch actually touched you then it would have been a different story entirely, but Sawyer assured me you were safe and well so I didn't feel the need to worry him." Deep green eyes peer at me over his coffee cup as he takes another sip. "Different fucking story this afternoon, though."

"I need to take a shower before I talk to him." I rub circles around my temples and close my eyes. "I can't face him when the taste of vodka is still in my mouth."

With a smirk, Jason silently reaches into the overhead cupboard and pulls out a large tray laden with various pill packets and medicine jars before popping two Advil and pouring me a tall glass of water. "You need Vitamin C but this will do for now. Go shower, you'll feel so much better afterwards."

* * *

I've never been good with hangovers. They literally suck the life out of me and nothing is more frustrating than wasting the day away because you can't function for more than five minutes at a time, your head resembling a blender on turbo with nails and shards of glass inside. But after the longest shower of my life I start to feel somewhat normal, even if I _do _almost trip on my own feet as I reach for a towel off the warmer.

I still haven't called Kate back but I'll be sure to tell her everything when we all meet for a late lunch at the Mile High in an hour, she'll grill me as soon as I walk through the door so I won't have any other option. Flipping my head over, I blast my damp locks with the blow-dryer and run my fingers through each tangle until I'm left with a mass of messy waves.

I'm perched on the end of the bed and slipping into a pair of tiny panties when I spot Christian in the doorway, arms folded and ankles crossed over one another as he leans against the doorjamb with his shoulder. He's in his workout clothes and sweating profusely so I can only guess that he's been in the gym for the past half an hour, taking a long drink of his bottled water he stalks towards me and drops it onto the bed beside my leg.

"You should have called me last night."

"Are we really going back there again?" I divert my eyes when he stares down at me with a stern expression and pursed lips, not to mention his dick is at full staff and almost poking me in the chin through the confines of his sweat pants. "You need to let this go, Christian."

Like lightening he moves, pushing me down on the bed and straddling my hips as his hands entwine with mine before pinning them above my head. My legs are trapped and unable to move so I can't wrap them around his waist like I so desperately want to, I want to feel him pressed against me so bad. "No, what I _need _is to fuck the shit out of you, Anastasia Steele and I need to do it now."

Without warning his mouth is on mine, hard and brutal as his hips roll and grind into my throbbing core through the flimsy material of my thong. I can taste how much he wants me, our kiss is feverish and desperate and our tongues battle for much needed control until we're left breathless.

Christian's fingers hook into my panties and he clumsily tugs them down my legs as far as he can with his lips still glued to mine, it's like he's scared we'll combust if we break apart for even a second. It's raw and it's carnal but it's what I need - it's what _we _need. My underwear is tangled at my ankles and I'm naked from the waist up as my man pulls his stiff cock out of his sweat pants and shoves it inside me without further preamble, piercing through my wet folds and filling me to the hilt.

My scream is primal and wanton and I couldn't care less who hears me. _The bedroom door isn't even closed. _He's hard and throbbing and every time he pulls out of me only to ram back inside my muscles clench and quiver around his shaft. "You drive me fucking crazy." Christian buries his face into my neck and locks our fingers together above my head as his thrusts refuse to relent, hitting my sweet spot every single time. "You make me want to fuck you like an animal, Ana. You make me want you so much."

"Then do it," I purr into his ear lobe before sucking it into my mouth, eliciting a throaty groan from the love of my life as he moves in-between my legs at a ravishing pace. "Fuck me."

"You keep talking like that and you won't be able to walk for a fucking week."

"That's the hope."

With that he sits on his haunches and spreads my thighs, hooking his arms around my knees and pushing my legs as far apart as they'll go without splitting me in half. _Oh my fuck. _True to his word, Christian pounds into me like a savage and circles my clit in the process making me scream out louder than I've ever screamed before. "Don't come yet, baby." _What? _"If you come I will and I really don't want this to fucking end."

I simper when he reaches for the collar at the back of his neck and pulls his damp vest over his head, tossing it across the room before placing his hands back on my hips and in-between my legs. This is unbelievable, absolutely _unbelievable _and when he twists his hips in a figure-of-eight movement I almost detonate right there on the spot, my vision starts to blur and I can still feel my orgasm creeping in despite my best attempts to keep it at bay. Christian is relentless, sweat starts to form along his brow but that doesn't stop him in the slightest, if anything it spurs him on further.

"Christian," I gasp.

"You're ready aren't you?" He growls down at me, teeth clenched and eyes heavy and hooded. "Tell me you're ready."

"I'm ready," I moan. "Please."

"Not yet, baby."

"I can't…I can't hold it any…"

I don't even finish before I'm shaking and quivering around his cock, a flood of wetness coating my inner thigh as I cum harder than I have in a long time. I can't figure out if Christian is pissed off or turned on but when he closes his eyes and tightens his grip on my hips, scorching heat spilling inside me I get my answer. _Holy mother of…that was intense. _

He collapses on top of me with a tortured groan, his penis shrinking and deflating whilst still buried to the hilt. I can't even…

"Don't think I'm finished with you yet."

* * *

Christian's POV

"Kill me. Fucking kill me now."

"Don't be such a pussy, drink this you'll feel better."

As soon as a tumbler of leftover scotch from last night is wafted in Elliot's face he bolts upright and slams his hand out sending the glass flying across the patio, shattering into tiny shards near the French doors. "_Don't _even fucking think about it. I need a strong black coffee, an aspirin and nothing more."

Jake simply shrugs and drops into the chair beside him, shoving a forkful of bacon into his mouth and pulling his phone out of his pocket. It's 8AM and I'm ready to get the fuck out of here. I haven't had fun like this for a long time, not with my friends anyway but I need my girl now and fuck if I'm prepared to wait any longer.

Waking up this morning in nothing but a pair of swim shorts, face down on the couch in the main living area was enough to drive me to fucking suicide. If I had the strength I would have hunted my brother down and pounded his face in for forcing me to drink as much as I did, although I didn't take much persuading, he still forced me. After a quick run around the confines of the resort I threw back an espresso shot and reluctantly chowed down a greasy bacon sandwich before dragging my hung-over ass into the shower, feeling much more like myself once I'd finished.

Getting the boys up and running was a different story though. Even Ray and my dad were less on the fresh side but less than an hour later we were all up and ready to shoot our fucking brains out, the thought of a long car ride too much to handle.

"I'll go with Elliot and meet you and Annie later for lunch," Ray's mouth stretches into a yawn as he shrugs his jacket on. "I need a cat-nap and a decent breakfast."

"I doubt you'll get much sleep at Kate's apartment but sure," I nod. "Am I still keeping this a secret?"

"You bet," He winks and turns on his feel, heading in the direction of the front door before stopping to glance over his shoulder. "And what we talked about last night, about Jen and-"

"I won't breathe a word of it, Ray. That I can promise you."

Keeping what I discovered last night from Ana will be difficult but I could never betray my father-in-law's trust like that. I still don't know where his feelings for Jen stand but I won't be the one to bring my fiancée into the mix, not without Ray's consent or knowledge. Taylor and Evans take turns in loading our luggage into the trunk but Elliot pulls me back when I make a move to join the others in the SUV. "Bro, fucking check this out."

"What?"

Taking the phone from his outstretched hand I flip the screen and take a look, my eyes popping out their fucking sockets when I see a picture from the girls last night. It's a paparazzi shot, taken as my girl and her friends make their way towards the club with Sawyer and Bailey at either side of the group. "I didn't want to show you in front of Ray but fuck!" Elliot whisper yells with a quiet laugh. "I'm trying to look at Kate but all I can focus on is Ana's…"

My icy glare stops him from finishing that fucking sentence. I love my brother but I'm pretty sure he'd be out cold on the floor right now if he had, right there in the middle of a throng of scantily clad women is my fiancée dressed in the most _hottest _dress I've ever seen her in. Her tits are pushed up into a fuckable cleavage and her legs seem to go on forever. Her hair is loose, hanging down her back in gorgeous curls and the happy smile on her face is enough to make my dick as hard as a fucking rock.

"I don't know if I should be pissed or kissing her feet."

"Go with the latter," Elliot slaps my shoulder and slides a pair of Ray-Bans over his eyes in the attempt of disguising his dark circles. "Your girlfriend is hotter than hell, fucking feel proud about it."

The apartment is silent when I walk in, dropping my holdall in the entry way I creep towards our bedroom and push the door open, the sight before me enough to bring me to my fucking knees.

Ana is asleep in the middle of the bed, her hair covering her face as she snores softly. The urge to rip the sheet away from her bare ass becomes somewhat uncontrollable when I realise she's naked but she looks so peaceful and beautiful I can't bring myself to do it, so instead I push her hair away from her face and tenderly stroke her cheek with my fingers as I stretch out beside her.

Taking in an inventory of the room, I spot her discarded dress and heels by the dresser along with the strewn contents of her clutch bag. A bottle of make-up remover and a bag of cotton wool balls are on the nightstand but there isn't any water. _She manages to clean her face but she doesn't even think about staying hydrated? _The tee-shirt she sleeps in is at the foot of the bed, the task of slipping it over her naked form must have been too much effort because there isn't a thread of cotton on her.

God, I love her so much. Looking at her like this, so quiet and peaceful, it reminds me just how precious she is to me, how perfect she is. She's not weak, actually she's far fucking from it but she's still so fragile. Someone could easily hurt her or take her away from me, the thought is crippling and beyond heartbreaking and if I allow myself to think about it for more than five seconds I'd lock her away in a room and refuse to let her out of my sight.

Although when Ana stirs and groggily fills me in on the events of last night, that's exactly what I want to fucking do.

* * *

"How the fuck did the bitch even get in? Where were you?"

I'm hanging onto my temper by a fucking thread. Sawyer faces me with his hands clasped behind his back and his stance wide, his eyes never once leave mine and for that I commend him. He doesn't cower away or back down but I'm still seething. That whore should have _never _been in such close proximity with Anastasia last night but somehow she managed to be alone with her! Heads are about to fucking roll.

"Miss. Steele informed that she needed to use the facilities so I escorted her to the nearest bathroom, then Bailey remained stationed at the end of the corridor with a substantial distance created." Yeah, yeah, I fucking get it. Management don't like my staff loitering around ladies restrooms in case of a potential sexual harassment claim but this, _this _is exactly why I have them so close by. "How she managed to slide past without being recognised is unknown, Sir."

"I'll ask again, where the fuck _were _you?"

"Escorting a member of the party back to the VIP area, Sir."

"Which member?

Luke's jaw clenches and his steely expression falters for a brief second. "Fran, Sir."

Of course it was, his latest little fuck buddy. Ana would have my balls for thinking so crass of her friend but if he wasn't following her around like a little fucking puppy this wouldn't have happened. Sawyer is my fiancée's CPO, _he _is the person I assign to her protection and instead of keeping her safe he was tripping over his dick to get to his girlfriend.

"So what was Bailey doing? Remind me exactly what I'm paying this incompetent asshole to do?"

"I spoke in great length with him and he assured me that he was on standby at all times, he said he simply didn't recognise the perp."

"Excuse me?" I spit. "Have you or have you not seen this woman in the flesh _and_ in photos?" I'm growing more and more fucking impatient by the second and if someone doesn't start giving me answers I'll seriously lose my calm.

"Sir, with respect she _does _look slightly different. Her hair is darker and she seems to have lost weight."

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot dropping a dress size makes a person completely fucking unrecognisable." Taylor fights a smirk and I shoot him a death glare, I'm not finished dealing with him yet. If he thinks he's getting out this fuck-up unscathed he's got another thing coming. "Where did she go once you intercepted?"

"Bailey personally removed her from the premises."

"Did you oversee this?"

"No, Sir, I was still inside the restroom with Miss. Steele."

_Count to ten. Count to ten and then count fucking backwards. Do not rip his heart out, do not rip his heart out…._

"Excuse me?" Taylor clocks my expression and awkwardly clears his throat, knowing exactly what's running through my mind. _Alone in a bathroom with __**my**__ fiancée…_

"She seemed to be quite shaken up so I needed to make sure she was okay before letting her join the rest of the group."

"You should have taken her straight fucking home!" I yell, pointing a finger in his face and losing control more and more by the second.

"I wanted to but she refused to leave. No physical contact was made and-"

"Do you remember what happened the last time she was left alone in a bar? The last time she walked off to use the bathroom alone?" The room falls silent as my two members of security drop their heads and look at anywhere but me. "Do I need to fucking remind you how she was dragged out-"

"Mr. Grey," Taylor interrupts and takes a step forward but I hold my hand up, Jason is more than staff, he's a friend but if he touches me I'm sure to do something I'll strongly regret. "Security was breached and for that I'll take the required action but Miss. Steele asked Sawyer to refrain from contacting me, she didn't feel the need to worry you."

Pinching the bridge of my nose I drop into the chair behind me and fight the urge to beat something with my fists. This is exactly why I didn't want her going out without me, I can't protect her when we're not together. I can't keep her safe. Realistically, I know I can't keep her locked away out of harms reach but when shit like this happens I fucking want to so desperately.

Why is it every time we try to do something out of these four walls, try to do something normal there's always someone waiting to fuck it all up? Last night should have been a happy memory for the both of us but where I was having a fucking blast, my woman was left to fend off that…_thing _without me even knowing. Cassidy was merely looking for a fight, I'm not worried about her. I truly believe she and Ana just happened to be in the same club at the same time and like the manipulator she is, she moved in and took her chance as soon as she could.

But I can't get the image of Ana lying on that fucking floor, bleeding and unconscious in my arms out of my head, it's playing on a loop and reminding me of what can happen when I'm not there to protect her. I can't get it out of my head when I dismiss Taylor then Sawyer and I can't get it out of my head when I pound the treadmill for a solid twenty minutes.

It's only when I have her in my arms, naked and writhing beneath me as I fuck her senseless that I start to calm. Feeling her around my dick seems to be the only way I can snap out of these over-protective funks I get myself in and where I love it, I fucking hate it all the same time. I can't lose her. This woman is my absolute everything and when she strokes my hair after I spill my cum deep inside her, whispering her love for me I lose it, holding her as close to me as humanly possible without crushing the life out of her. _Mine.  
_

* * *

"What the?" Ana's eyes widen when she spots her father seated at our table as we walk into the Mile High club. Ray stands and buttons his suit jacket before skirting around a beaming Kate and heads straight for us. "When?"

"Surprise." I whisper in her ear and leave a soft kiss on her cheek before letting her run towards the other man in her life, the only other man I'll share her with.

Leaving them alone for a private moment together as she wraps her arms around Ray's neck and starts to happily sob, I kiss Kate on the cheek, shake Elliot's hand and summon a passing waiter for a bottle of Cristal before taking my own seat.

"Kate told me about what happened last night." Elliot leans into my side and passes me a menu. "Why the fuck didn't you know about this?"

"You tell me," I grumble quietly. "Ana can be pretty persuasive when she wants to be. I haven't fucking forgot about it though and I won't for a _long _time. Sawyer shits himself every time I glance in his direction."

"Kate went looking for her," He murmurs over the rim of his glass. "She wanted to rip her hair out."

"The woman is your ex-girlfriend, Ell. Hardly surprising is it."

"She was never my girlfriend," He spits. "And Kate hates Cassidy for more than just our brief history together. I think what she did to Ana out ranks any hatred she had for her over me."

"I don't think we'll be seeing her again, all she wanted was to make a point."

"Didn't get very far did she?"

I wave him off when my girl and her father join us back at the table, not wanting to talk about the bitch who shall not be named during our dinner I dab Ana's cheeks with a tissue and kiss the tip of her nose when she sniffles and squeezes my hand. "He was with you all night?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise." I stroke her beautiful face with backs of my knuckles. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," She sniffles again. "This is perfect."

The waiter pours out nine glasses of champagne ready for the others once they arrive and hovers around me like a kid needing fucking approval, it's always the same story every time we come here and while I'm pleased my staff have exceptional customer service I also find it fucking irritating. I catch Ray watching his daughter as she takes hold of my hand and the sheer adoration on his face is enough to make me weak. This is what he's been waiting for all weekend, to be here with the centre of his world and nothing else has managed to distract him.

I catch his eye and he winks, squeezing Ana's free hand and sipping on his flute of Cristal quietly until Elliot breaks the silence. "I say we order something strong and stiff before Blake and Olivia get here and pretend that they aren't still in love with each other."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight - Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Authors Note: I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been away for work purposes and this is the first chance I've had to get anything uploaded. Sending love to all of my faithful readers.

* * *

Anastasia's POV

After a long, tiresome and _painful _debate, Christian and I both agreed to spending the night before our wedding apart with me at Kate's apartment and him here with Elliot. We fought over it for hours. He yelled, I yelled, I threw my Louboutin at his head and he towered over me like a tree throughout the duration of the argument before finally relenting. Then of course he couldn't just fall asleep without fucking me into the mattress until I forgot my own name, his way of sealing the deal _apparently. _

But when my dad asks where he'll be staying Friday night over Eggs Benedict and fresh fruit salad the whole damn argument resurfaces again, Christian glaring at me and rolling his eyes as he sips on his morning coffee.

"It's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony, son."

"It's horse shit that's what it is," I do a double take when he curses in front of Ray but then I remember they've just spent the weekend together, I wouldn't be surprised if dad needs his ears cleaning out after two days with Christian and Elliot. "This is all Kate's idea and you know it, she just can't resist interfering."

"It _was _Kate's idea but I happened to agree with her." I huff heavily. "It won't be the same if we sleep together and wake up together. Don't you want the whole, butterflies in your stomach, pounding in your chest feeling before seeing me for the first time?"

He seems to mull over my words for a few seconds and despite his lips twitching with a grin and an excited gleam in his eyes he remains impassive, a shrug of the shoulders being his only contribution to the conversation. He's _such _a stubborn asshole. It's not like I'm moving out permanently, I just want a night with my girlfriends doing stupid shit like wearing pink clay face masks and swapping crude sex stories before marrying the love of my life. I don't think I'm being all that unreasonable.

"I don't like it, Ana." He grumbles petulantly and I want to punch him. "I'd be more comfortable with you in the same apartment as me, media attention will be rife and you know it."

I ignore the horror painted on my dad's face when he hears the words 'media' and 'rife' and shoot Christian a glare warning him to shut the hell up, he _knows _how worried Ray gets and discussing this shit before eight-thirty in the morning is no way to start the day. "If it's security you're worried about then don't, you don't need to be because Sawyer will be with me."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

That comment makes me rise to my feet, dumping my empty plate in the dishwasher with a hot-headed Christian Grey on my tail, breathing heavily at the back of my neck as I rinse my coffee cup in the sink. "Don't start, Christian. Not with my dad here, I still haven't told him what happened and I don't intend to either."

"Sawyer fucked up, Ana, am I supposed to just forget about that or something? Because I haven't. Not by a long shot."

"You're overreacting."

"Am I? If he wasn't so busy running around after Fran then-"

"Don't," I spin on the spot and hold a hand up. "Okay, just don't. He was taking his girlfriend back to the safety of the VIP booth, Christian not taking his shirt off and dancing on the damn table. My friends were as much of a target as I was that night. He was just doing his job."

"I don't pay him to protect _his _girlfriend I pay him to protect mine."

Wow. Just _wow. _

"I'll pretend you didn't just say that, Grey." I glare, my eyes narrowing into venomous slits as I stand that little taller, preparing myself for a fight. "Don't pretend you wouldn't do the same thing and besides, I wasn't alone was I? Bailey was with me."

Christian scoffs with a derisive snort, if he wasn't so annoying that would have been rather cute. "Fat lot of fucking use he was, too. Why I still haven't fired their sorry fucking asses yet is _beyond _me, Anastasia. I don't tolerate incompetence and you know that."

"And I don't tolerate you being unreasonable." I quip, folding my arms across my chest and staring him down in the hope that he'll get the message and back off. We both have hectic days ahead of us and I don't want this to be how we part ways, we have too much to be excited about to be angry. "Christian we're getting married this week. In four days I'll be your wife, can't we just focus on that instead of what happened last weekend? It was an accident okay? You know as well as I do that Sawyer would never intentionally let anything to happen to me."

That softens him a bit. He's still rigid and tense but when I run my palms over the smooth planes of his chest I feel his muscles relaxing slightly. "You're safety isn't something I fuck around with." _Almost. _"Stop rolling your fucking eyes at me."

"You're grouchy this morning."

"Of course I am, I have a defiant fiancée who drives me crazy, a million and fucking one items on my agenda for today alone and I won't see you until tonight. I'm hardly in the mood for cartwheels and candy-floss."

"You're not joining me and Heather for lunch?"

Opening the fridge, he takes out a bottle of water and sets it on the counter so he can stuff his keys and wallet into his jacket pocket, a content sigh leaving his lips as I fix his tie and smooth a hand over his collar. "Do you need me? I'll push some shit back if you do?"

"I always need you," I wink playfully, relieved he's dropped the Sawyer drama and taken a much lighter approach. _Well, light for Christian. _"But no, we're just finalising a few plans, dotting the _I's _crossing the _T's _so to speak."

"Well in that case," Bending his knees he dips and drops a loud kiss on my mouth, nibbling my lower lip before pulling away and pecking the tip of my nose. "Make sure you and Ray eat without me tonight, don't wait up, baby."

With one last kiss, a cheeky ass grab and a wink that leaves me feeling weak he saunters out of the kitchen and out of view completely.

In four days that man will be my husband. I will be Mrs. Christian Grey and I've honestly never wanted anything more, he may be a total head fuck but he's _my _total head fuck and I wouldn't change him for all the money in the world. I realise I'm still stood staring and open mouthed when dad waves a hand in front of my face, laughing when I blink rapidly as soon as I register his shadow in front of me, a coy grin on my face. "Guilty as charged."

* * *

"Ana? Permission to speak freely?" My head jerks up and I stare at my CPO through the rear-view mirror in shock, since when has he ever needed permission to speak freely? I'm not my fiancé and even if I was, he still wouldn't need damn permission that's for sure. With a slight nod he twists in his seat and bows his head before starting with a timid voice. "I need to apologise for my behaviour Saturday night, my actions were irresponsible and I dropped the ball-"

"Luke, you don't need to-"

"No, I do. My job is to protect you and for that I failed, she should have never made contact with you in the first place let alone had the time to engage in conversation." His face hardens and his eyes darken, I can tell that he's battling with himself here and for that I feel terrible. He doesn't _need _to, that club was heaving with people, I don't blame him for Cassidy slipping past unnoticed. "I completely understand if you no longer feel comfortable with me shadowing you, I've already spoken with Taylor and we can arrange a screening process-"

"Wait a minute," I bolt forward and grab the headrest closest to me, my jaw on the floor and my eyes wide. "You're _leaving_?"

"Nothing has been finalised yet."

"But you've thought about it?" When he lowers his gaze and purses his lips my question is silently answered. This is just fucking fantastic. I'm less than a week away from getting married and my CPO wants to up and leave me! _Wonderful. _"Has Christian said anything or done anything to-"

"Mr. Grey hasn't said a thing, Ana, that's the problem."

"He'll get over it," I wave a hand in the air and try for nonchalance but my voice comes out all high and squeaky instead, completely betraying my false confidence. "You know what he's like, he broods for a while but then he's fine. This wasn't even about you, Luke. It was about me keeping something from him, something he needed to know."

"You're right, he _did _need to know and I should have been the one to call him. It was my duty and I failed. I wouldn't feel right about staying even if Mr. Grey begged me to."

Feeling more than helpless, I flop back into my seat and palm my forehead as I quickly flick my wrist to check the time. _Shit. _"I need to get inside," I mutter dejectedly and he nods once in return. "Please don't do anything until I've spoken to Christian, promise me you'll let me talk to him?"

"Miss. Steele, I-"

"_Promise _me." I give him my best don't-fuck-with-me look, the same look Kate told me to master because apparently once I'm married people will expect me to morph into Christian Grey's clone and for once I'm thankful for her ridiculous insight, it works a treat. "Heather Manning will be in the foyer for twelve-thirty, tell Fran to buzz me once she's here."

And with that I'm climbing out the car with as much poise and grace as I can muster, praying that the wind doesn't blow up the hem of my dress while I'm walking. The office floor is quiet but because I can't get that conversation with Sawyer out of my head I don't pay much attention, I don't even blink when the petite brunette with a killer rack who works three desks down from me tugs on my wrist and drags me toward the break room. It's only when the door is flung open and an onslaught of cat-calls is screamed out that I register what the hell is going on. A make-shift banner is pinned to the over head cupboards in the small kitchen and bubbles are blown in my face as Fran all but tackles me to the floor, draping a 'Bride To Be' sash over my shoulders and pinning a tacky veil to the back of my messy chignon. "Surprise, babe!"

"What the _hell _is this?"

"You're last day of work before-becoming-Mrs. Grey party, duh!" She giggles and kisses my cheek, wagging one eyebrow when Riley hands me a coffee in a personalised 'Mrs. G' mug. "I wanted tequila but they would only stretch to caffeine."

It's thrown together and tacky as hell but it's perfect. These people have slowly become valued friends and while I never thought it was possible, I feel like I've known Fran my entire life. It helps that she's almost an exact replica of Kate but beneath all the crass attitude and the snarky remarks she has a heart of pure gold, which is why I'll fight for her boyfriend's job until I'm blue in the face. What sort of friend would I be if I just rolled over and let him leave without a second glance?

After today I'll be gone for almost four weeks, not returning until Christian and I are back from our honeymoon. _The honeymoon I still know diddly-squat about. _At first I was apprehensive, a month is a ridiculous amount of time to be away from the job I love but I need this, _we _need this and with some gentle persuasion from Logan who pretty much told me to go for it, I agreed and made Christian the happiest bastard this side of Seattle. My face scrunches up at the sight of a triple chocolate cake with a porcelain bride and groom topper but I don't have the heart to say no, it's early and I've been on a strict healthy eating regime but when I look around the room and see how much effort they've all put in to make this day special I'm only too happy to join in.

"You look overwhelmed,"

I jump out of my skin when Logan approaches me from behind, his hand curled around a large cup as he lifts it to his lips. "It's a surprise that's for sure, how long have you had this up your sleeves?"

"Fran had it all planned the second you told us you were engaged," He swats a pale pink balloon out of his face and leans his hip against the counter. "You look surprised to see me."

"Do I?"

"I know I haven't been around much and I _know _you've taken on more than your fair share, I just want to say thank you, Ana. It hasn't got un-noticed."

Not knowing what to say I drop my gaze and cradle my mug with both hands. Why am I bushing? He doesn't need to thank me, I'm just doing my job but the second he looks at with me a pained expression I remember everything that's happening to him and I instantly feel guilty. Here I am, days away from getting married and he's going through a brutal divorce. We're both at completely different ends of the spectrum and for the first time since I came to SIP I feel uncomfortable around my boss. Christian's words are still playing on a loop and even though it's ridiculous, I still don't want to come across as too _nice. _I'd be mortified if I were to lead him on.

"How are things? With Sarah?" He looks shocked at my question and I instantly regret opening my big fucking mouth. I move to take it back but he shakes his head and offers me a small, somewhat sad smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine. It was only a matter of time before the truth got out anyway," He shrugs. "We no longer live together put it that way."

There's so much I want to ask, so much I'm desperate to find out but I refuse to become one of those gossiping shrews who don't know when to shut up. If someone questioned my relationship I'm sure I'd see red and lash out completely, some things should just remain private. He looks exhausted, his eyes are sunken and his face looks three shades paler than usual. I wonder when he last ate a meal that didn't come in a take-out carton? Can he cook? Does he know how to fend for himself on a daily basis?

"When things get tough you need to fight," His broken voice jolts me from my reverie. "Christian will piss you off and you'll piss him off but that's marriage, that's normal. It's everything else in-between that causes heartache."

I frown, surprised he's being so open with me but too afraid to delve any further. Is this his pre-wedding advice? Is he trying to warn me against something? "You think love is enough, everyone thinks love is enough in the beginning but things get hard and promises are broken. _Vows _are broken."

Vows? Is he talking about Sarah? Their vows were clearly broken because they're divorcing but does he mean something else? _Did someone cheat… _When he throws the remainder of his drink back and closes his eyes I start to question what the hell is even in that coffee cup but I know better than to ask, I can't _smell _alcohol on him but the second I do I'll step in. I won't let him throw away his career just because everything else is falling around his fucking ankles, he's better than that.

"Are you coming to the wedding? I know the invitation was for you _and _Sarah but if you-"

"I'll be there, Ana." He throws me that fake smile again and it does nothing to calm my apprehension, he's a broken man and he's not even bothered about hiding it. He taps my forearm with his hand and puffs his cheeks out. "I'm happy for you, Christian is a great guy."

I dumbly nod my head and set my cup onto the counter once he's gone. I keep forgetting that they knew each other before I even came into the picture, they have a mutual respect for one another and even though Christian said what he said a few days ago he clearly thinks a lot of the guy. It was his idea to invite him to our wedding in the first place.

"Apparently, he's fucking Kristen from upstairs," Fran tells me, popping a grape into her mouth and rolling her neck. "You know which one I mean? The hot editor with the insane cheekbones? You can tell a mile off that shit isn't a result of contouring."

"Where did you hear that?"

"You know how fast news travel around here, I can't even remember who I heard it from first."

"Fran," I whine. "You know better than to-"

"Listen to idle gossip, yeah I know. But sometimes you just can't help it, Ana."

"We don't even know if that's true."

"Seriously?" She snorts a laugh and pats her chest when she almost chokes on the grape. "He's hot and single and she's hot and single, why _wouldn't _they hook up?"

"Because the ink isn't even dry on his divorce papers yet," I say like it's the most obvious answer in the world. Call me old fashioned but I don't believe a marriage should end just because it's _ending. _"Christian said this would happen."

"He did?" I don't tell her that he thought he would want _me _ , I'll never hear the end of it if I do, she'll harp on that tune until I pop my first kid out. "Can't blame the guy really, sometimes the best way to move is to just…move on. Even if he doesn't want to."

"Sounds like bullshit to me."

"Of course it does," She grins and sucks one of her fingers into her mouth. "You're so in love it's disgusting, you don't see anything past sunshine, rainbows and morning sex."

"Is that such a bad thing?" I smirk, my dirty mind now picturing morning sex with a sweaty Christian as he drives into me at a lazy pace. "This will be you and Sawyer one day you know?"

At that she gapes at me and shakes her head, muttering something about needing more coffee and waves me off like I'm talking nonsense before tugging on my veil and telling me to circle the room. _The lady doth protest too much, methinks.  
_

* * *

Heather Manning strolls into SIP at 11.25AM sharp wearing a Prada pantsuit and looking her usual impeccable self, not one single brow hair out of place. I'd mentally psyched myself up during the short walk from my desk to the lobby but when she squeals like an excited school girl and throws her arms around me I'm surprised I haven't passed out from shock. "This is the best part," She tells me with a wink. "All the build up and the excitement, this is what you've been waiting for."

_Okay, where's the bitch I've been dealing with for the past two months and who the hell is this? _

Two paps hop out of a blacked out car the second we push through the double doors but Luke doesn't even give them the chance to get a picture because he's ushering me into the waiting SUV the instant he spots them, an oblivious Heather trailing behind me. _Is this the first high profile wedding she's taken on or is she used to this level of crazy? _It doesn't surprise me when she pulls out a thick binder from her Hermes purse as soon as Sawyer pulls away from the curb but I hold my hand up, telling her I need food before I can even contemplate anything wedding related.

So as soon as my grilled cheese wrap is placed in front of me she doesn't even take a breath before reeling item after item off the check list, her hand waving out in front of her face as she gets all enthusiastic over the most pointless things. "The hair stylist and make-up artist will arrive at Katherine's apartment at precisely 11AM and the photographer will follow on for the 'getting ready' shots." She shoots me a pointed stare and cocks her head to the side. "Are you sure about this?"

"Sure about what?" I mumble through a mouthful of food.

"Spending the night at your friend's apartment, there would be a lot more room if you were to stay at a hotel?" Heather holds her hand up and starts counting off each of her fingers. "There's you, your maid of honor, three bridesmaids, a team of stylists and a photographer. How on earth will they all fit?"

"We'll make room."

I refuse to spend the night before my wedding in an unfamiliar hotel room with none of my things around me. I want to sleep in my old bed and shower in my old shower. I want to curl up on Kate's couch and delve through our old CD collection before dancing on top of her tiny coffee table. Butlers, room service and a bed big enough for my entire wedding party isn't what I want. I need a night of normalcy with my best friends.

"Even Escala would be a much more suitable-"

"That's where Christian will stay with his family and my father, I want out parents to be comfortable and at ease."

She rolls her eyes but I don't give a fuck. I'm sick of having this conversation over and over again until I'm blue in the damn face and for the first time today I'm pleased Christian isn't here. He'd be having a field day with Little Miss. Self Righteous here on her high horse, this is why they clash, they're so fucking similar it's laughable.

"My father will join us at the apartment shortly before we leave."

_My mom won't be there. _It's times like this where I think about her, where I remember that she won't be a part of the biggest day of my life but that's okay. _She's _the one missing out not me, everything that's happened has been all of her doing and I don't feel guilty for a single second. She would only ridicule me for the entire morning anyway and I don't need that. I don't need that shit hours before I walk down the aisle.

Heather nods her head and wraps her mouth around a forkful of Greek salad, her black painted talons tapping away on her tablet faster than lightening. _Black. Like her soul. _"You'll ride with Mr. Steele alone, correct?"

I nod. "We have a separate car for my bridesmaids, Kate included."

I need to be alone with my daddy during the ride to Lakewold, that's when it will hit me that I'm getting married and as much as I love my best friends, Ray will be the only person able to calm me down if I happen to freak out. He just has that affect on me, he calms me in ways no-one else can. "Who will be in the room while you're dressing?"

"Kate and Olivia." I don't want to change into my dress until I'm there. I'll travel to the venue in sweatpants most probably, something Kate tells me she's handling so I have no doubt they'll be something 'bride' related. Not that I mind.

"At 2PM the cars will leave the apartment, we'll arrive at Lakewold for 2:45, you'll change and Mr. Grey will arrive with his party. By 4PM the guests will be seated and that's when you'll leave and make your way outside."

My heart starts to hammer in my chest. Why is it all feeling so real right now? Heather makes it sound so simple, so clean cut, like getting married is an everyday occurrence. I understand that this isn't at all new to her but for me, it's the most newest experience of my entire life. I'm getting married. _Holy fuck I'm getting married. _

"I know it's a sensitive subject but what the hell is happening with the bridesmaid and the groomsmen? One minute he's escorting her down the aisle and the next minute he's not, what's the deal?"

Blake and Olivia. I hate it when she refers to my friends by their roles in my wedding, she never addresses them by name and it pisses me of. Christian is constantly reminding me that this is her job and that's just how she remembers everyone, admitting that he himself can't remember every 'fucker' that he works with. "Blake is escorting Kate and Christian's cousin will walk with Olivia. You already know that Dylan will be with Mia?" She nods. "I want Bethany to walk in front of her dad."

"Good thinking," She snaps a finger in my face. "We don't want any temper tantrums mid procession," _I'll ignore that. _"That's a point. Where will she be in the morning?"

"Her mother will drop her off at the apartment ready for when we leave, she'll already be dressed."

I'm clock watching half an hour into our lunch. To me, everything is already sorted but this woman is picking at every damn thing until there's nothing left and when she goes over the play list for the _umpteenth _time I'm ready to get the hell out of here. Kate would be in her element, she loves all this planning shit but it's nothing but a inconvenient nuisance in my opinion. I don't care about anything other than the fact that I'll be Christian's wife by nightfall. He'll be my husband and I seriously doubt the timing of the first dance or the cutting of that cake will affect that.

My cell phone chimes with an incoming text and although I'm usually quick to remain focused on the conversation at hand, I find myself reaching for the thing and not giving a shit if I look rude or not.

**-Killed her yet? **

_Christian. _

**-Tempted. If she mentions the centrepieces one more time I'll be using this butter knife as a weapon. **

**-Now, now. Play nice, baby. **

Fifteen minutes later everything is finally wrapped up and I wave Heather off as she walks in the opposite direction, declining Sawyer's offer for a ride back to the office. The next time I see her it will be at the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. _A whole three days without her presence. _As much as the woman bugs me she's taken so much off my hands, if this was left to me we'd be getting married in a run down barn with pigs as our witnesses and nothing more.

"She's hot for a pain in the ass,"

I laugh loudly and buckle my seat belt, shaking my head as I catch Luke's sly grin in the rear-view mirror. "Don't let Fran hear you saying that."

* * *

Christian's POV

"Update?" I nod at Taylor and he follows me into my office, closing the door behind him and cracking open a bottle of water as he takes a seat on the leather couch near the wall. "What did you find out?"

"She's been keeping a low profile, worked as a temp for a few weeks before securing a full time position as an accounting assistant, although it's evident she visited Williams in prison but fuck knows what was said."

"When was this?"

"Once before the trial and once last week."

"That's a little fucking convenient don't you think?" I scowl, tugging at my tie and sinking into the chair facing my bodyguard. "Cassidy visits Brody and days later she's backing my fiancée into a corner? I don't fucking like that."

"We've reviewed the CCTV footage from the club last weekend and it _does _seem merely coincidental that she ended up in the same place as the girls. She arrived a good forty-five minutes before Ana at least."

"Did she try getting back in after Bailey threw her out?"

"Loitered for a few minutes looking all pissy but left shortly after with a poor sucker in tow, he lapped around her ankles like a fucking puppy dog."

"Anyone we know?" _Considering the slut only fucks men I'm associated with. _

"No-one we recognise. Good looking bastard, though."

"I need to know why she went to see Brody."

My fists are clenching at the mere thought of them in a room together. It only means one thing and it's fucking disastrous, _they're _disastrous. All we know is that she saw him and days later she's accosting Anastasia and begging for forgiveness, what the _fuck _is that about? "I can send someone to pay him a visit?"

"What sort of visit?" I gawp at him and he rolls his eyes, my head of security rolled his fucking eyes at _me. _

"Not _that _sort of visit. I mean we can send one of the boys in for a chat, ask him why they met and find out what they discussed? I highly doubt it was for tea and a catch up."

"He'll know we're getting married," I lean forward and steeple my fingers, a sick thrill coursing through my veins as I picture the bastard's face when Cassidy told him the good news. That would've sliced through his chest like a bitch, the air would've been knocked from his lungs and _nothing _satisfies me more. I hope it fucking hurt him. "Don't do anything yet. Let's see if his little _friend _will talk first."

"You want to meet with her?" Taylor looks almost shocked, like he can't believe I'd suggest such a thing. "Are you sure that's wise?"

"What other options do we have? Ana's positive the bitch was just trying her luck but I'm not convinced." I nod at Andrea as she sets two cups of coffee onto the table between Taylor and I, asking my preferences for lunch but I tell her I'm not hungry and wave her away. I couldn't fucking eat even if I wanted to, my stomach's in knots. "You know where she's based?" _Of course he does. _"Track her down and bring her in."

He sips his coffee quietly, looking relaxed as fuck where as I can't sit still for more than two minutes. I've got a sickening feeling about all of this and with us being less than a week away from my wedding, I don't fucking need it. The sooner I find out what the bitch wants the better "I feel like I should let you know, Miss. Steele called me this morning."

"What?" My chin jerks up.

"She wanted to discuss Sawyer's status with me. He's told her that he's considered leaving."

"Why the fuck is she calling you and not me? Since when did that become a fucking thing? I'm instantly out of my seat and pacing the floor, pulling at my hair and puffing my cheeks out as I grow more and more pissed off by the second.

"Probably because of this," Jason waves a hand out and cocks his head to the side, resting an ankle across his knee. "You're still pissed off with him, that's why you didn't even blink this morning when I told you he wants to leave."

"He knows he fucked up," I seethe, turning around to face Taylor. "What do you want me to do? Pat him on the back and give him a fucking hug?"

"Well, that's what Ana wants. She doesn't want him to go."

"Of course she doesn't, she _trusts _him." I scoff and roll my eyes, walking towards my floor to ceiling window. "She doesn't see what could have happened if he hadn't clocked on while they were in the restroom, she's just being a stubborn pain in the ass as per usual. This is why I _need _to step in, she's so fucking naïve and innocent it's nothing but dangerous."

"You _really _wouldn't give a shit if he resigned?"

"Should I?" I grumble with a shrug, turning to face Taylor as I shove my fists into the pockets of my slacks.

"Ever heard of the saying; happy wife, happy life?" I frown. "If you let him walk away Ana will make your life fucking miserable. She'll refuse to cooperate with anyone else, and even if you make her she'll be as difficult as she possibly can be. Is _that _really want you want?"

"She'd get over it."

Even as I say the words I know I'm deluding myself. Ana _would _make my life fucking hell and getting a new CPO in would be such an ordeal I'm rolling my eyes just thinking about it. I actually like Sawyer, he's been exceptional from day one and before Saturday night I trusted him with my girl's life more than anyone on Taylor's team. I'm pissed off that he's made me doubt his ability to keep Anastasia safe when I _know _he's more than capable. He just needs to sort his shit out and fucking soon.

"Why do you think he's threatening to walk? He knows he dropped the ball and he feels guilty as fuck for it, and I'm not saying this to piss you off either but he thinks a lot of Ana, he would _never _let anything happen to her. That's my professional opinion, Sir."

If he thinks he can tell me what to fucking do and then drop a lame _Sir _on the end of it so I won't get pissed he's got another thing fucking coming. I don't care if he is my friend, he doesn't get to tell me what to do while he's working for _me. _

"Just fucking get Cassidy here," I stride towards my desk and drop into my chair as I keep strong eye contact with Taylor. Everything's so clean cut when I'm sat in this chair, there's no blurred edges, it's all so sharp and clear. _As it should be. _"I'll deal with Sawyer."

* * *

Before Ana, walking into my apartment before nine at night was unheard of. I wouldn't leave Grey House before 8PM at least and on the odd occasion where I did, I would only head straight to a gruelling workout with Claude or lock myself away in my study until the early hours. But now it's all so different. If anything, I'm rushing to get home just so I can be with my girl.

So when I see her camped out at the dining table wearing a pair of sweats and an off-the-shoulder tee-shirt, her laptop open in front of her as she scribbles the Mont Blanc pen she stole from me across a notepad, I realise just how fucking empty my life was before my beautiful girl walked straight into it and turned it on it's head. She isn't even aware of my presence until I'm behind her with my nose nuzzled in her damp hair, the scent of her iconic jasmine and honey shampoo causing my dick to jump to life.

"You've already showered?"

"I had my final appointment with Ashleigh tonight, I didn't want you to see what she'd done with my hair so I washed it," Turning her head, she blindly kisses the side of my mouth without taking her eyes off the computer screen. Leaning forward I see that she has her email server open and running. "Dad's reading in the library."

"I did wonder," I reluctantly drag my lips away from her temple and shrug out of my jacket before taking a seat beside her. "What are you doing?"

"You're not the only one swamped, I promised Logan I'd get these emails sent off before the deadline tomorrow."

"But I thought you had-"

"Don't worry I have," She shoots me a sideways glance and smirks. "But this needed to be done like…last week. I'll be finished in ten, I've left your dinner in the warmer."

Gail would say that to me every single night but it sounds so much sweeter coming from Ana's mouth, so _domesticated. _I'm actually starving as fuck but I don't want to waste a precious second of watching her by getting up so I stay exactly where I am, running my fingers through her hair and kissing her knuckles until she eventually rises to pour me a glass of wine. "Come here," Pushing my chair back I tap my lap and nod my head, grabbing the backs of her thighs when she straddles me.

"What?"

"I just wanted to touch you," I bury my face in the crook of her neck and pepper soft kisses underneath her ear, grinning when she shivers in my arms. "I miss you,"

"Miss me? What do you mean, I'm right here?"

"I mean I miss you and I need to fuck you, like _really _fuck you, baby. We can't be loud when your dad's here and it's driving me fucking insane." She shivers again and when a tiny little mewl escapes her lips my cock throbs with need and want, needing to feel her pussy and wanting to hear her scream when I fill her. "Come to bed," I whisper seductively.

"Christian, we can't…"

"You said he's reading in the library?" I thrust my hips and she gasps, her back arching slightly and her tits pressing into my chest.

"We still can't, he could come back at any minute."

"I can be quick, I fucking need you so bad, baby." I'm panting now it's pathetic. Ray's only been here for a night and I'm already desperate for a loud, sweaty fuckathon. We had sex this morning but it was lazy and quiet. Every time I tried to pick up speed Ana would press her palms into my ass and hold me still, silently warning me to keep a slow tempo. Even though the guest bedroom is upstairs and Ray won't be able to hear a fucking thing she's still scared shitless. "Come on."

"Can we talk for a while first?"

_Talk? _No, baby, I want to fuck, and the way you're squirming on my lap is doing nothing to calm my raging hard on.

"We can talk all night long, Ana, whatever you want."

"Christian," She whines. "I'm being serious, I want to talk about Luke."

_For fucks sake. _

Sighing heavily I roll my eyes and drop my hands, giving her a dirty look when she stretches and stands leaving my lap feeling cold and empty. I'm fucking horny and desperate to screw my woman and all she wants to do is talk about the god damn staff! "I know you know."

"Know what? What do I know?"

"Taylor told me you called him," Tucking her leg underneath her she bites down on her lip and glances in the opposite direction, no doubt waiting for me to get pissed off and blow the fuck up. _Not tonight, baby. _"Why did you do that?"

"Because I wanted a straight answer. You would have just started a fight, Christian and I didn't want that. Sometimes you're not the easiest person to communicate with."

"He shouldn't have spoken to you without me present it wasn't professional." That earns me an eye roll and a huff not that I was expecting anything else. "What? It fucking wasn't, Ana, and you know it. He's just digging an even bigger fucking hole, here and it's doing him no favours."

"He wants to quit! Did you know that?" _Don't be silly, baby, of course I did. _"And if you did why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm not going to let him _actually_ quit, Ana."

"You're not?" Her eyes grow wide. "But I thought-"

"I know and I still am, I'll be pissed with him for a long fucking time but I'll get over it. I need to."

"Why?"

"If I don't I'll never hear the fucking end of it," She's eyeing me as I reach for my wine and take a tentative sip, my fingers drumming against the edge of the table. "You don't think very highly of me do you?"

"You don't always make it easy for me." She murmurs quietly. "This morning you were hell bent on showing Sawyer the door, what's changed?"

I flash her a knowing grin and shake my head. "Ever heard of happy wife, happy life?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing," I chuckle quietly. "Just something Taylor told me earlier whilst putting a few things into perspective for me."

"You're being awfully cryptic tonight."

"I'm not, you're just slow, baby." She leans forward to swat my bicep but her eyes are dancing in amusement. "I'll talk to Sawyer and tell him he can't leave."

"Now?"

"Now? You want me to do it now?"

"Christian, he could be packing his bags as we speak. He doesn't think you want him here anymore."

"He hasn't even formally resigned you big drama queen. Do you seriously think I'd just let staff come and go as they please?" Ana snatches the glass of wine out of my outstretched hand and takes a long guzzle, twirling a damp strand of hair around her finger as she does so. "Surely you knew I'd step in and stop him?"

"Can you blame me for doubting your intentions?" She sighs. "You were _so _angry with him, Christian, I didn't know how the hell I'd be able to break you down, _that's _why I called Taylor. I know you value his opinion."

"I value your fucking safety, Anastasia." Holding my breath I run a hand through my hair and press my back into the white, plush leather of the chair. "Which is why I'm hiring a female CPO to work alongside Sawyer."

"Excuse me?" She tilts her head to the side and pinches the stem of her glass with two fingers. "You're hiring a what now?"

"You need someone who can go into restrooms with you, _something _Sawyer can't do and after last weekend? I'm not taking anymore fucking risks where you're concerned, I need someone with eyes on you at all times."

I'm expecting the glass she's holding to fly across the room in disgust, I'm expecting her fist to punch me square in the face and I'm expecting a fight of all fights but none of that happens. Instead of hitting the shit she sighs quietly and shifts in her seat, calmly asking, "Would I get to interview possible candidates?"

_Okay, wow. _

"You would want to do that?"

"I don't mean interview them alone, I just mean can I sit in with you and Taylor? I wouldn't even know where to start and what to look for?"

"You're not mad?"

"Mad? Why would I bed mad?"

"You've only just warmed up to Sawyer and now I've told you I want someone else? I love you, baby, but I was expecting some reluctance at the least?"

Smirking sinfully, she crosses one leg over the other and pushes her wild mass of wet waves off of her neck. "You don't think very highly of me do you?" She throws my words back at me with a seductive edge.

"You're a pain in the ass."

"I'm _you're _pain in the ass though."

"Keep talking like that and you'll find yourself getting fucked right here on this table,"

"Is that a threat?"

Just as I'm about to stand and make good on my promise, Ray rounds the corner with an empty coffee mug hanging from his fingers and his reading glasses perched on top of his head. Ana jumps to her feet and offers to fix him another coffee but he just ruffles her hair and taps the tip of her nose with an adoring smile. "Don't fret, Kiddo. I'm in need of a shower before I do anything else."

He isn't even halfway up the stairs before I'm gripping Ana's hand and pulling her down the hallway, my free hand tugging at the button of my slacks in desperate need of freeing my stiff cock. She squirms and tries to wriggle free but I'm having fucking none of it, I need to fuck her and I need to fuck her now.

But when she's pinned against the bedroom door with her sweats tangled around her ankles, her tits pushed up out of her bra and her head thrown back as I thrust into her wet, warm pussy at a ravaging pace all her reservations are long gone. In fact, she screams louder than she's screamed all week.

* * *

"Sawyer? Workout downstairs?"

My fiancée's bodyguard blinks rapidly when I peer my head around the door of Taylor's office once Ana is in the bath with a book and a chamomile tea. His fingers release the file he's so engrossed in and he pushes his chair back as he clears his throat. "Sir?"

"Ana's father will be joining us but I wanted us to get a head start. Gives us time to talk." It's a demand rather than a question and he knows better than to argue with me over it, so as soon as I turn my back and head straight for the foyer he's close behind me and yanking at his tie.

We run for fifteen minutes solid, feet pounding the treadmill and our heavy breathing the only sounds to be heard throughout the confines of the penthouse gym. I haven't even bothered turning on the sound system. He's nervous, I can tell as much. I want to shake him and punch him all at the same time but I refrain from doing either, jabbing my fist at the stop button on my machine and cracking open a bottle of water instead.

"You're not leaving." His chest is heaving and he looks perplexed as hell. He probably thought I dragged him down here to give him his orders and while the thought is still a tempting one, I promised Anastasia I would talk to him and make things right. Something I've never once needed to contemplate until I found my girl. "We need to re-evaluate a few things and I still want to assign a female CPO but you're not going anywhere."

"But I thought-"

"I'm still pissed as fucking hell with you," I cut him off sharply. "You were sloppy and incompetent but you still got to Ana before anything more happened and for that I'm grateful. You stepped up when she needed you."

"The bitch should have _never _been able to get to her in the first place, if I had been stationed outside the restroom then-" He stops and scrubs a hand over his face. "I should have been there."

"Yes, you should. I don't even want to fucking know what you were doing with Fran that night but I'm not stupid, she's your girlfriend and I admire you're wanting to keep her safe but I won't tolerate you fucking on the job, understand?" Sawyer doesn't breathe so much as a single syllable as I stride towards the bench press and lift a set without even acknowledging his presence until he's stood behind me with his hands held out in case I have an accident. "Do you know what I really want to do? I want to shove you in that fucking ring and beat the shit out of you, and then I want to invite Bastille over for a go just so I can watch. _That's _how disappointed I am."

His jaw ticks and I can tell he wants to fight back but he doesn't. I must rip into him for another ten minutes solid before Ray comes through the doors with a towel slung over his shoulder, quickly telling Sawyer to strap on a pair of gloves so they can spar. He's still none the wiser about what happened at the club on Saturday night but I'm sure if he knew, Ray wouldn't even contemplate using the gloves for one second. He'd knock Lukey out in an instant.

"And she agreed? Just like that?"

"I was just as shocked too, believe me." Tossing Ray a bottle of water from the fully stocked mini fridge he chugs the thing down within a matter of seconds. "I'm expecting a fucking fight when it _actually _comes to it but that's a bridge I'll cross once I get there."

"Well, I'm impressed, and I don't mean Ana's cooperation either, I'm impressed with the whole idea full stop. Considering what happened the last time my daughter decided to venture to the bathroom alone."

Ray visibly blanches and I'm right there with him, Sawyer too and the second the words leave my father-in-law's mouth he drops his head and folds both arms across his chest. He'll struggle with guilt for a long time and while I want to help him shed some of that guilt, I want to force more down his throat all at the same time. Call it dramatic, call me a bastard but I don't give a fuck. Anastasia is my sole reason for breathing and if anything were to happen to her again…

I can't even begin to think about that.

"Be honest with me, Christian. Just how many threats do you receive? You _and _Ana?"

_Do I really want to answer that? No, but I fucking will anyway. _"They're few and far between." _Lie. _"It's unwanted attention more than anything, various love letters and nude photos. I don't even read them half the time, Taylor does."

"Anything worrying?"

"Regarding Ana?" He nods grimly, almost like he doesn't want to know the answer. "The last one contained a soiled rag covered in…Well, you know." _How the fuck do I tell him his daughter receives wash cloths coated in cum? How in the __**world **__is that deemed fucking normal? _"It was some middle-aged married fucker in Iowa, confessing his undying love for her blah, blah, blah. Taylor destroyed the entire fucking thing the second he opened it."

"Did she see it?" He cringes again and bile rises in my throat at the thought of my girl getting her hands on that filth.

"No. I couldn't…Like I said, it was all destroyed instantly."

"My daughter's a beautiful woman. I guess her receiving attention like that shouldn't really surprise me."

Sensing Sawyer's discomfort I dismiss him with a jerk of my chin, clasping his shoulder for a second to let him know that this conversation is done. He's not going anywhere, I'm not firing him and things need to change. I _think _he gets it. At least I fucking hope he does because Ana will be on me and asking questions the second I go back upstairs. "Ray, you don't need to worry. About the threats? This is why I have all the security and all the surveillance, I have it to protect Anastasia and that's what I'll do until my last breath. I'll always protect her."

"Christian, I don't doubt that for a second. If I thought I was over-protective and suffocating?" He smirks and wipes his face with one of the damp cloths Gail keeps already prepared for me. "Man, that all changed the _second _I met you. I know full well the lengths you'd go to just to keep my baby girl safe and for that I'll always admire you. Annie can be difficult and stubborn and I can only imagine the grief she must give you when it comes to-"

"She does," I smile. "But that's what I love about her. She knows her own mind and she knows exactly what she wants, I wouldn't change a damn thing about the woman even if she can be a pain is the ass, sometimes."

"She gets that from me."

"What? Her stubborn trait?"

"No," He chuckles. "Well, yes but that's not what I meant. Her strong mind and the knowing what she wants, all from me." He points at himself with a smug smirk and fuck if it doesn't make me laugh. "It definitely wasn't from Carla. God, that woman took at least a week to decide where she wanted to eat on a Saturday night. She was as indecisive as they come."

* * *

"God, don't stop. Please, don't stop."

"What happened to keeping quiet?" The hand that isn't fisted at the back of her head covers her mouth as my knee nudges her leg, spreading her further. We're a mess of tangled limbs and heavy breathing, writhing and rocking in the middle of the bed like fucking animals. "You are so fucking hot, baby."

Her teeth sink into the flesh of my palm as her legs clamp around my waist, holding me close to her. I need to literally close my eyes for a second because the visual in front of me is just too much to fucking handle, if I focus on her sweaty tits for a second longer I'll blow and I really don't want this to end yet. "Fuck, I…I'm-"

"No," I growl, pulling out of her and flipping her onto her stomach. My cock weeps in protest but I soon shut him up when I plough right on in again, Ana muffling her scream with one of the pillows strewn across the bed. "Not yet. I'm not finished yet."

"Christian,"

"What? Tell me what you fucking want, baby?"

She can't. She's so spent she's almost lifeless, like a rag doll but I don't stop. Waking up with my arms wrapped around my naked fiancée was too much to bear, I hadn't even opened my eyes properly before I had her leg raised and in the air and my cock nestled inside her tight little snatch, bringing her to her first orgasm of the morning within seconds. She was so wet and hot for me, her fingers reaching between her legs and rubbing her clit told me just how fucking horny she was.

"You want this, don't you? Me, fucking you like this?"

"Yes,"

"Say it!" My rhythm is relentless. I drive into her over and over and _over _again, her hands flying out for leverage against the headboard. "You want this?"

"I want it! Shit, Christian."

"God, I fucking love you. Three days, Anastasia. Three days and you're _mine_."

"Three days." She repeats breathlessly as she reaps a burst of strength from somewhere, bracing her weight on her elbows and pushing back on each sharp thrust, giving as good as she gets. "I'll be your wife."

"Fucking hell, say that again."

"Your wife. Yours, Christian. Only yours."

And. That's. All. It. Takes.

I spurt uncontrollably into the woman I love, gripping her shoulder as I jerk through my release before collapsing on top of her. She's shaking beneath me, her hand reaching for the back of my neck and her nails digging into my hot flesh. _Holy fuck that was intense. _Once we're both satiated and spent we roll over, Ana's nose nuzzling the side of my neck as I pull her close to me.

"What are your plans for today?"

"Lunch with dad," She yawns. "Your mom might join us."

"Anything else?"

Lifting herself up she hovers over my face and smirks down at me, her fingers tracing idle circles on my chest. "Why so interested?"

"Can't a guy be interested in his woman's plans?"

"Guys can, _you _can't." Grinning, she hooks her leg over mine and brushes her wet sex against my thigh, leaving a trail of cum in her wake. _It's fucking hot. _"I've nothing special planned. I was thinking I'd give Gail the night off? I'll cook."

"Baby, you know I don't mind you doing that at all. It's Gail you need to convince."

"I actually wanted everyone over but now I'm worried it's too short notice." _Fuck that noise. _

Pushing her back, I pin her hands above her head and settle between her cum-coated thighs, my lips inches away from hers. "We'll be with them all Friday night and all fucking day Saturday, you _really _want to spend tonight with the fuckers, too?"

"Christian!" She tries to wriggle free but I tighten my hold on her hands. "That was rude, they're our family."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Family or not they're a pain in the ass, Ray excluded of course." She bucks her hips and bites down on her lip, my cock springing to life the second her teeth meet the plump flesh of her mouth. "Now, less talking and more fucking."

"_Again!"_ She shrieks. "How the hell can you be ready to go again?"

"Oh, baby." Reaching between our joined bodies I fist my stiff cock and position the head at her sopping entrance, sliding into her hot folds so easily I could fucking cry. "You should know _so _much better by now."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine - Tying Up Loose Ends Before Tying The Knot.

* * *

Anastasia's POV

Waking up this morning was surreal. It felt like an average, run-of-the-mill Friday, nothing was different and nothing particularly stood out to me yet it all felt…strange. Christian was spooning me from behind with his arms clamped around my stomach and his leg hooked over mine, breathing softly onto the back of my neck as the early morning sunlight hit my face and woke me. _Last day as a single woman. Technically._

Like clockwork, Christian stirred the second I un-tangled our limbs and rose to use the bathroom, grunting in protest and stretching his arm out with an adorable pout on his beautiful lips. It's like I'd expected my reflection in the mirror to change but when I pinched my cheeks and ran a hand through my matted locks I realised I'm still the same Anastasia Steele; pale skin, blue eyes and long, chocolate brown hair. Nothing's different.

"We're getting married tomorrow," He grins and pulls me close once I'm back in bed, curling three fingers around my chin and planting feather-light kisses along my jaw line. "How do you feel?"

"Great," I beam. "Excited, nervous, the list is endless."

"Nervous? Why are you nervous?"

We've come so far, we've tackled so many obstacles but the doubt and the fear is still lingering there, niggling away at the back of his mind. He's still petrified I don't want this, that I'll leave him and never look back but he couldn't be more wrong. "Christian, you know I hate being the center of attention. Everyone watching me and hanging off my every word? I'm nauseous just _thinking _about it."

"You'll be a beautiful bride, Anastasia." Digging his fingers into my shoulders he pushes me back and slides over my body, stroking the skin of my collarbone tenderly. "Beautiful, stunning, sexy. Do you want the rest?"

"If it sounds like that then yes, I do."

"People will be watching you and they _will _be hanging off your every word, but it's only because you'll blow everyone away with how fucking perfect you'll look."

"Oh yeah? Pretty confident aren't you, Grey?" I smirk.

"With a woman like you?" He scoffs and dips his head, leaving me with bruised lips once he's finished devouring my mouth like a savage. "In less than thirty-five hours you'll be my wife."

Fuck. My mouth dries when he puts it like that, so final. I've never wanted anything more in my entire life, I wanted this man the second I laid eyes on him and now that we're here, with only hours to go before our wedding, I can't seem to stop the onslaught of emotion that crashes over me the second he brushes a hand over the swell of my breast, all the way down to my hipbone before gripping me tight through the thin silk of my nightgown. "I can't wait."

"Let's just elope. We could be in Vegas by tonight and married before sunrise," I throw my head back as a loud laugh erupts from my chest, Christian's face as he towers over me with a devilish grin doing nothing to quell my amusement. "I'm serious."

"I don't doubt it for a second, baby. But you're still crazy and it's _still _not happening."

With a shrug and an arrogant smirk he drops with a growl and presses me into the mattress, eliciting a girlish squeal. "Can't blame a guy for trying." All laughter subsides when his gaze morphs into something dark and heavy, sensual even. I know that look. I _crave _that look. "I need to make to love to you, Ana. I need to be inside you, can I?"

I think this is the first time he's ever sought permission but it's still the hottest thing I've ever heard. So hot my hips buck involuntarily and my chest presses into his, the strap of my nightgown slipping off my shoulder. I don't even need to think twice about my answer.

"Yes."

* * *

"You're getting married tomorrow, how in the ever-loving _fuck _can you be this relaxed?" Kate looms over me with a hand gripping her cocked hip, beautiful green eyes peering over the rim of her 'Jackie O' sunglasses as her stern gaze refuses to relent. "I expected you to be tearing your hair out and breaking into your Jimmy Choo's, not sat back with your feet up sipping on a damn Chai Latte! _God, _Ana."

"Are you okay?" I stare at her gone out, flicking my book closed and kicking my feet up onto the couch."

"I'm _fine_! Why the hell you are is beyond me."

"It's all done, there's nothing to do."

She pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes, setting her over-sized purse down on the coffee table. "You're telling me that _everything _is done?"

"Yep," I beam at her and take a sip of my coffee, quickly wishing it was something stronger as I realise the tornado that is Katherine Kavanagh will be stuck to my side like glue until tonight. I love her, _adore _her even but she's still a damn pain in the ass.

"You're going on a three week honeymoon and I don't see any luggage anywhere? Have you packed yet?"

"I don't even know where the hell we're going, Kate. Christian wouldn't let me pack a damn thing so Gail has taken care of it. I have two suitcases and a holdall locked away in the storage closet." She only looks mildly impressed so instead of acting placated, she presses on with her anal checklist of shit.

"Have you checked in with Grace yet?"

"Called her first thing,"

"What about the caterers?"

"They'll arrive at Bellevue this afternoon to set up, the first course will be ready to serve before six-thirty."

"What about your dress? Shoes? Have you even _thought _about accessories?"

"Dress is pressed and hanging in my closest, shoes are by the door and yes, Cartier cuff and earrings you'll be pleased to know."

A slow smirk creeps onto her face as she sinks down beside me, fiddling with the thin, gold chain draped around her neck. "I'm impressed, Steele."

"You're not the only one," I scoff. "Where's Liv? I thought she was catching a ride with you?"

"That was the plan," She sighs and leans back. "Until Blake called and asked her out to brunch."

"What?" I'm pretty sure my eyes are as wide as saucers right now, they sure do feel like it. "Since _when _have they been back on speaking terms? Do you remember how awkward dinner was last weekend?"

"Don't even get me started. I'm struggling to keep up."

"Who contacted who first?"

"Olivia, can you believe it? After everything that's happened, _she's _the one who decides to reach out first." I don't tell her that Liv contemplated getting in touch with Blake long before this week, our conversation in the steam room springs to mind and I'm actually surprised she's waited this long. The guilt was eating away at her piece by piece, she was bound to snap before long.

"You don't think it was because he flirted with the waitress, do you?"

"Well, that would be enough ammunition for me to step my game up put it that way. I daren't tell her that he's already fucked her."

"Who? The _waitress_?" She nods with wide eyes and kicks off her peep-toe heels. "When?"

"A few years back according to Elliot. They were once quite the thing."

"Blake's ex-girlfriend works for Christian?"

"Okay, first off, 'girlfriend' is too strong a term for what they were and secondly, she works for like…a team of ten who _work _for Christian. It's not like they're on first name basis."

"It's still _weird_."

"No, what's weird is you, all calm and nonchalant despite the fact that you're getting married _tomorrow. _What sort of bride are you?"

"Would you rather I acted like a bitch on a power trip?"

Kate laughs and leans forward to shrug out of her thick off the shoulder sweater. "At least it would be something, you're not even drinking champagne yet."

"I'll have consumed enough champagne to last me a lifetime before the weekend's out, trust me when I say I'm taking it slow."

"People will think you're pregnant if you stick to soda all night."

"Well I'm not," _Yet. _"Anyway, we know _that _rumour mill is already rife, what I do and don't drink is neither here nor there."

"Indulge me in a Cosmo at least?" She cocks her head and juts her bottom lip out, throwing me a serious case of the puppy dog eyes, something I could never say no to once upon a time. It _almost _works.

"You know where the kitchen is, help yourself."

After two _ridiculously _strong cocktails, a change into sweats and a bag of chips later, Kate is more relaxed and less demonized. She even takes a swipe at her make-up with a bag of cotton wool pads, telling me she needs a fresh face ready for tonight and when the detoxifying face mask comes out it takes me all of three seconds to join her. _If Christian and Elliot could see us now. _It should surprise me but it doesn't, so when she tentatively mentions my mom I don't clam up or shy away, I square my shoulders and mute the volume on the T.V, _Breakfast at Tiffany's _slowly becoming inaudible.

"Having Jen here takes the edge off." I tell her with a sigh. "Although when she walked in here yesterday she freakishly resembled Carla and it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach."

"They could pass for twins."

"Looks wise yes, but she couldn't be more different from that bitch if she tried, thank God."

"How _did _that happen?"

I shrug and wipe away a drip of clay with my thumb before it lands on the swell of my breasts. "I almost called her the other day."

"Carla? Why?"

"I wanted to scream at her for not being here for me, I wanted to call her every name under the damn sun just so I would get a reaction and then I wanted to hang up on her. Most of all I just wanted to hurt her."

"What brought that on?"

I slowly twist to face my best friend, my fingers toying with a thread hanging from my sweats. She quickly fixes her blonde mane into a messy bun at the crown of her head and cross her legs like she's preparing for battle. "You meet your mom every Wednesday morning for brunch, Mia lives with Grace and my _God _have you seen them together? They're more like best friends it's so damn adorable it makes my chest hurt. Fran's mom lives in Redmond but she still goes home every second Sunday of the month just to have a coffee with her. Where's my mother? Who do I have?"

"She's in Georgia and she's alone, Ana. I think the question you should be asking yourself is who does _she _have? She drives away every man she meets, her 'friends' are nothing but leeching parasites and her own daughter doesn't want to know her. You are so much better off without her."

"She's still my mom, Kate. _She_ should be sat here with me now, playing with my hair and telling me how scary and wonderful marriage is but she isn't, she's not here and it pisses me off!" My voice is getting louder and louder by the second and I know if I continue Sawyer will be bursting though those doors with his weapon drawn and ready to lunge. "Loving your child is the most natural instinct a person…a _woman _can have and she doesn't even care! She carried me for nine months, she gave birth to me and up until I was fourteen she was a damn good mother, where the _fuck _did it all go wrong?"

"_She _went wrong, Ana." Kate reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together, her thumb grazing my engagement ring. "She chose that disgusting piece of shit over you and now she's paying the price for it. She's paying for it."

"I want her to rot in hell for what she's done." It's harsh but it's so fucking true and I can't bear to pretend anymore, I hate her for leaving me all alone. I _hate _her. "If my daughter was getting married in less than forty-eight hours I'd be on the first plane out and begging for her forgiveness, not sat on my fat ass waiting for the pictures to pop up in _Hello _fucking magazine."

"It's her loss, babe."

"But it still feels like mine," A thick tear rolls down my cheek but I dash it away and close my eyes before another one falls, if I cry I'll ruin my face mask and that really will rile me up. A hundred and one emotions are running through my body from head to toe and I don't know if it's the intensity of what's about to come or because I'm tired after a restless night full of talking and sex, but I've never wanted to break down more than I do right here in this moment. "We're trying for a baby."

A mass of blonde tresses covering a pale pink face whips in my direction with jade-green eyes the size of golf balls. "_What?"_

"This is a really shitty time to tell you, I know, but I just…I _really _needed to tell you."

"You're…you and Christian…you're…Oh my _God, _tell me everything!"

And just like that my whole world starts to spin at the right pace again, I still feel like shit and the loss of my mother before the biggest day of my life cuts deep but saying those words out loud seems to dull the sting slightly and judging by the stupefied expression on Kate's face, I'd say I've stumped her a good one. She cries, she laughs and she cries some more before wrapping me up in a hug and squeezing the life out of me. Jesus, if she's this happy now then what the hell will she be like when I am actually pregnant?

* * *

"Do you _know _how many paps are downstairs, Ana? Anyone would think a Royal baby was being born in this apartment tonight." Olivia flops down onto the bed and throws her arms above her head, closing her eyes and puffing her cheeks out like she's just ran the marathon. "They're crazy!"

"Welcome to my world," I deadpan, rolling my eyes when the assigned make-up artist for tonight clamps a hand around my chin and holds me still, scolding me for moving while she's trying to 'blend the shadow'. The second a pair of false eyelashes are dangling in front of my face Kate jumps up and all but throws the poor woman across the room.

"She doesn't _need _those, in fact she's the only woman on this earth who doesn't need enhancements so just stick to the mascara." I'd be mortified if I didn't know how much Christian is paying for her services, she can take a little rough and tumble with the size of the cheque she's walking away with. "And that lipstick is too pink."

Another set of hands pull and tug at my damp hair, a large barrel brush gliding through each lock as the heat of a blow dryer almost melts the side of my cheek. Not only will I be someone's wife this time tomorrow but I'll also no longer need an army of ten just to get me out the door. _This is just ridiculous. _

Jen strolls into the bedroom carrying a tray of hotdogs with extra sauce and I can't resist the grin creeping onto my face. It's like we're a group of teenagers getting ready for the prom. Despite my Maid of Honor twisting her face up in disgust as she warbles on about carbs and being too bloated for her dress she's the first to stuff one into her mouth, ketchup dripping down her chin and landing on the clean, white towel wrapped around her torso. _Classy. _

"He's already eaten." She tells me when I ask if Christian's home yet. We haven't spoken since this morning and I'm _dying _to see him, I need his touch, I need his smell and I need him. If we don't get five minutes of alone time before we leave in less than an hour I'll burst at the seams. "Do you girls want anything else?"

I shake my head and reach for her hand, shooting her a small smile as she gazes down at me with bright eyes and flushed cheeks. Her hair is still in rollers, she's dressed in solely a robe and her feet are encased in fluffy slippers. She hasn't changed one iota over the past ten years and I couldn't be more thrilled, she's a tiny slice of home and along with my dad, I feel more like Anastasia Steele instead of Anastasia Steele soon-to-be Grey. It's comforting.

Speaking of my dad…

"Oh, he's in Christian's study fiddling with his camera," She waves her hand in the air and blows a tendril of loose hair out of her face. "I think he's charged the damn thing at least five times today." I smile as wide as I can without pissing off the woman who's currently dabbing at my lips with some sort of balm. In typical Ray fashion, that camera will be stuck to his hand like glue throughout the night. It's the same story whenever I'm the main attraction and while I used to hate it growing up it's now something I don't think I could live without. _It's home._

"Dress time!" Olivia squeals and claps her hands together once the stylists have packed away their tools and left the room, Jen sits on the edge of the bed with a bright smile and Kate opens the door to my closet before bouncing on the spot. They're so excited it's actually adorable, tonight is just the rehearsal but if this is anything to go by then I'm in for a _really _loud morning tomorrow.

My hair is pinned into a messy French twist that looks like it took minutes to create, the top is teased and backcombed but instead of looking like a birds nest it's actually sexy as hell. My make-up is subtle yet smoky and my lips are a soft shade of peach, the Loren Pink body-con dress hugs my curves like a second skin and the thin spaghetti straps hold in my cleavage with just the right amount of support. I was worried that the dress would look tacky and attention-seeking for all the wrong reasons but now it's on, I feel beautiful. I feel sophisticated. I feel like a woman who's twenty-four hours away from getting married.

Knuckles rap against the bedroom door before it pushes open ajar and the most beautiful face shyly peers around the corner checking if we're decent. He's wearing his signature Brioni suit sans tie, his hands are fisted in his pockets as he gawps at me and his hear is as dishevelled as ever. In other words, he looks _mouth watering._

"Baby," He breathes, his eyes glued to mine before raking over my body. I almost feel naked his gaze is _that _intense. The girls quietly slope out of the room with Jen tugging at her rollers and the second the door clicks closed Christian is on me, his hands grip my waist and his mouth slants over mine before taking me in a searing kiss. My head spins and my knees buckle but somehow I manage to remain upright. "You look…_fuck_ you look so beautiful."

"You don't look too shabby yourself, Grey." My hands smooth over the lapels of his jacket and my thumb swipes across his mouth as I try to rid his lips of stained peach lipstick. He's everywhere, his hands are caressing every inch of skin he can find as his nose nuzzles the crook of my neck. If he carries on with this my very tiny panties will be nothing more than a sodden scrap of lace.

"How the fuck will I be able to keep my hands off you tonight? You…Christ I can't believe you're real."

"You'll manage just fine because our parents will be on our asses all night, unless you _want _Ray to catch you manhandling his daughter?"

"He likes me but he doesn't like me that much." He scoffs with a wry grin. "Think we have a time to knock one off here?"

"Everyone's waiting for us." Even as the words leave my mouth Christian is walking me backwards until my knees hit the edge of the bed, he has that hungry look in his eyes and despite my sex throbbing with desire when his hand covers my left breast, I'm still fully attuned to the fact that we have an apartment full of people. "Christian…"

"I don't need long, fuck I doubt I'll need more than thirty seconds." Before I know it I'm pushed backwards, bracing my weight on my elbows I watch as he kneels in front of me and splays his hands across my thighs, spreading my legs as far as they'll go. "Fuck, I can smell you from here." He growls, one long finger grazing my now drenched panties making me twitch. "You're so wet, baby."

"We can't, we don't have time. The door isn't even locked!" My attempt at putting up a fight is weak and pathetic and the second his palm presses against my clit I feel like tearing off my underwear and wrapping my legs around his neck. Only this man can make me forget where I am and who we're with, my father is less than thirty feet away and my fiancé has his nose between my thighs, inhaling my scent and telling me how much he wants to fuck me. _I'm going to hell._

"This is mine," Christian's eyes lock with mine as he tugs my panties to the side, molten gray meeting wanton blue before he lowers his face and at an achingly slow pace, he glides his tongue along my slit and kisses my clit. _Oh sweet Jesus. _

"Christian…"

"You are so fucking sexy, Anastasia Steele. I want you to think about this all night," _Another lick. _"My tongue here, tasting you." _Another kiss. _"When we're sat eating dinner, I want you, picturing me between your thighs and making you come." _Another fucking lick. _"Do you want to come, Ana?"

_Yes, yes, yes! _

A loud knock on the bedroom door drags me back to reality as Elliot's voice booms through the wood, reminding us that we need to get a 'fucking move on'. Christian smirks, glances over his shoulder and gently taps my clit twice making me buck into his face. He's barely even touched me yet I feel hot all over, my hands are tugging at the straps on my dress and I want nothing more than to take it off and let him have me in the way he so badly wants, the way _I _so badly want. _God, I'm such a slut. _

"You're right, we don't have time for this." Inside I'm screaming, cursing at him for leaving me wet and hanging but nothing will come out, I'm too riled up to even formulate a response. "Just think, the next time I'm inside you," Still holding my panties to the side one long finger slides right on in, curling and flicking against my g-spot. "You'll be my wife."

If he keeps saying shit like that while his fingers are inside me I'll scream the place down, family or no family outside.

"You're the devil, you know that?"

Standing with grace and poise he readjusts my underwear and fastens the first two buttons on his jacket, smirking like the arrogant bastard he is and making me simper. "You fucking love it just as much as I do, baby."

* * *

"I'm not supposed to be doing it fucking properly, this isn't the real wedding, dumb ass."

"Christian Grey, watch your mouth."

Grace swats the back of her youngest son's head and tugs his earlobe, shooting him a narrow stare as she takes her seat beside Carrick in the front row, her eyes doing all the talking. I've just 'walked down the aisle', kissing Ray's cheek and beaming at Christian as he takes my hand and brushes his lips against my knuckles. I told myself that I wouldn't take this too seriously, this isn't the real thing and I want it to feel completely new and exciting tomorrow but now that I'm standing here, facing my husband-to-be as our closest friends and family look on it's almost impossible not to.

Elliot jabs at his brother throughout the entire procession, tapping his stomach and making crude comments much to Grace's chagrin. Bethany all but ran down the aisle squealing, Kate strutted like she was parading down a catwalk and Blake and Olivia have been eye fucking each other for the past fifteen minutes solid. Heather rolls her eyes for what feels like the hundredth time and pinches the bridge of her nose, clapping her hands together and bellowing orders like a damn drill sergeant. If I wasn't so happy I'd be mortified and while I've been waiting for Christian to lose his shit he doesn't, he just keeps his eyes fixed on mine with a shy smile curling at the corner of his lips. _This feels real. _

We run through it a second then a third time before heading to the patio at the back of the house for dinner. Grace has outdone herself once again, the entire backyard has been transformed into a picture of elegance and sophistication with round tables, white balloons, roses and glass bubbles holding candles descend from the limbs of a tree. I gave my mother-in-law complete carte blanch but I specifically requested a completely different colour scheme to the one for our wedding, so she's wisely stuck with pale and neutral tones; white, cream and beige instead of the blush pink Christian and I chose weeks ago.

Waiters dressed in sharp tuxedos circle the area with fine champagne as the first course is carried out, Smoked duck and mozzarella salad with an orange dressing and as Christian takes his seat beside me, a blinding flash catches the corner of my eye and I quickly discover Ray as the culprit, throwing me a wink as he captures yet another picture of my man and I caught in the moment. I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I was grinning like a fool while Christian kisses the crown of my head before dropping into his chair with a sexy flourish.

I'm still yet to speak with Mia properly, something I haven't done since she discovered the truth about Ethan and his sudden interest in her. I wouldn't say I've been avoiding her but I've definitely been keeping her at arms length, she's acted in no way maliciously towards me and if anything, she's made more of an effort with _me _if that's even possible but I'm still not ready to mention the one who won't be named.

She stops behind me as she makes her way to her seat, looking sensational in a mint green cocktail dress and perfectly coifed hair and as she bends to kiss me on the cheek, squeezing my shoulder as she does so relief washes through me. We will sit and talk about what's happened, we have to, this time tomorrow we'll be sisters and I want nothing more than to clear the air once and for all but I just don't want to do it now. I don't want Ethan tainting my wedding anymore than he already has.

After dinner, Kate and Elliot both stand to give small speeches and when Jen nudges my dad's shoulder, asking if he'll do the same he shakes his head and turns to look me straight in the eye, taking my hand and telling me he's saving all his words for tomorrow. My throat tightens and my eyes swim with tears because I just _know_ his speech will have me bawling like a god damn baby, even if he doesn't say anything overly emotional I'll still break down to the point where it'll become embarrassing. This is the man who raised me, this is the man who _saved _me and watching him talk at my wedding, the wedding I never thought I'd have when that piece of shit tried robbing me of my childhood all those years ago, well it will be enough to make me break ten times over.

"Dance with me," Christian breaks me from my reverie and holds his hand out, smiling down at me like a boy asking his date to dance for the first time. _How in the hell did I ever think I'd be able to resist him? _

Slowly, he manoeuvres us through the small throng of people huddled together on the lawn and pulls me close but instead of taking my hand and gripping my waist like he usually does when we dance he locks his at the small of my back as my hands wrap around his neck, we're as close as two people can be but I still don't feel close enough. The gentle breeze hits my bare flesh and makes me shiver but dancing here with this man, feeling his thumbs stroking my back in small circles makes me shiver for an entirely different reason.

"Are you cold?" Despite me shaking my head no, Christian shrugs out of his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders, kissing the tip of my nose as he tugs on the lapels and pulls me back into his arms. I hear a cat-call behind me but I pay no attention, I'm too transfixed on this _God _of a man holding me close to even notice anyone else. "Is this real?"

"Is what real?"

"This. Us. _You. _Is any of it real?"

I smile and turn my face away, pressing my cheek into the hard wall of muscle that is his chest, silently nodding my head and gliding my hands over his arms as the music washes over me. "If it's not then I'm right there with you in that dream, baby."

"It would be the best dream ever," He whispers into my hair and I melt, I melt a thousand times over as his breath hits the side of my neck. "I'd never want to wake up."

"You don't have to wake up because I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving."

"I'm not going anywhere, either."

* * *

Christian's POV

If she wasn't so pathetic this would be laughable. Despite everything she's put my fiancée through, despite her involvement in my former best friend's downward spiral, the bitch actually thinks I've asked her here just so I can fuck her. As soon as Taylor escorted her into my office she took one look at me and practically laid on the floor spreading her legs. She might be an attractive woman but her personality _repulses _me and even if I didn't have Anastasia I still wouldn't touch her with Elliot's dick, vile isn't a strong enough word for what _she _is.

She strolled into my office in what I presume is her work attire but I can't be all that sure because it's trashy as fuck. Her blouse looks three sizes too small with her ridiculous tits pushed up to her chin, her skirt _looks _like it's supposed to be knee length but in reality it hits her mid thigh, clinging to her flesh like it's been painted on her. _Does this chick shop in the junior section or something? _Sawyer was right about one thing, she has lost weight but the pounds definitely haven't dropped from her chest that's for sure. Now I know tits, I've seen all shapes and I've felt all sizes but one thing I'm sure of is when a real pair are dangling in front of my face.

And _those _are so far from being real.

I don't know how long I just sit here staring at her for but after the two minute mark Cassidy slowly starts to cower, quickly realising her little visit isn't for shits and giggles. Taylor remains stationed near the door, impassive and stoic but I saw the pang of resentment that flashed across his face when Andrea announced her arrival in the foyer. He hates her almost as much as I do, she reminds him of all that happened and if I thought my life crashed around my fucking ankles the night that bastard attacked my girl, Taylor was right there with me. He felt every emotion I felt.

"I don't know what you think you know but let me tell you, you're wrong." Well, that was a fucking cop out if ever I've heard one. I refrain from laughing in her face and narrow my eyes instead, she tries to square her shoulders but instead of looking strong and confident she's nothing but scared and timid. I intimidate her and I couldn't be more thrilled if I tried.

"So, why don't you tell me your side of the story?"

"Do you actually care?"

"Like fuck do I, all I'm interesting in is why you visited Brody last week?"

Her eyes widen and her mouth gapes open but other than that she remains completely blank, she even moves to fasten the button on her blouse with shaky fingers. _Someone's getting the message. _"How do you know that?"

"Is that really fucking important?"

"Have you been following me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. Just answer the fucking question."

"That's none of your business." She scowls with an edge to her tone, a venomous bite and I can't stop the shiver that runs down the length of my spine.

"See, usually I'd agree with you but when I discover you're accosting _my _fiancée days later I can't help but involve myself so I'll ask again, _why _did you visit him?"

"Seeing Ana at that club was nothing but a coincidence, I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"I…I wanted to clear the air, _apologise._"

"Why don't I believe you?"

My intercom buzzes and I slam my forefinger against the button, barking at whoever's there and telling them to fuck off. I know it's only Andrea letting me know Elliot has arrived for lunch but he can fucking wait. I'm actually horrified my brother and his ex-hook up are in the same building and I'm sure if he knew Elliot would be running a mile but I have bigger things to worry about. I still don't trust this bitch as far as I can throw her and when she smiles that sick, twisted smile my stomach churns. Did she smile at Anastasia like that? Did she make her feel as nauseous as I feel right now?

"If you must know, _I _went to see Brody off my own back. He didn't ask me to go or anything, I haven't even spoken to him since before the trial."

"Then why go? If you haven't spoken to him why go, what's changed?"

She bows her head and closes her eyes for a second, knitting her fingers together in her lap and refusing to make eye contact. It's almost like she's steeling herself. "I've been thinking about him a lot lately, I couldn't help myself."

"Don't bull shit me, Cassidy, just get to the fucking point."

"I know what you think of me and I can't say I blame you, but you don't know what we had together. You don't understand."

"You think I actually want to?" I spit, my jaw clenching and my hands balling into fists as rage surges through me. If she's about to confess her undying love for that…_thing, _then I'll seriously fucking lose it. "I don't give a fuck what you 'had' because in my opinion it was nothing but toxic and poisonous, you actually belong together but that _still _doesn't answer my fucking question!"

"The last time we saw each other…we didn't leave things all that great, I wanted to make amends and put things right. For what it's worth, Christian, I don't agree with the way he treated Ana."

"That was nothing but a fucking contradiction,"

"I don't expect you to understand but I can't help the way I feel, it's…it's complicated, okay? It's messy and it's wrong but I can't help it."

"Do you love him?"

I don't even need an answer, her eyes and her body language scream the word 'yes' as if a flashing neon sign is hanging around her neck. She's so fucking in love with him it's pathetic, how she can be is beyond the realms of reality for me but I don't actually give a fuck. I just want, no I _need _to know what was said. Did she tell him we're engaged? Did she show him fucking magazine clippings of us? All I know is, they were in a room together and not even four days later she's backing my girl into a corner. My blood runs cold just thinking about it.

"He didn't want to see me, that much was true when all he did was stare through me like I was invisible for the first ten minutes. I talked about boring shit, _normal _stuff and he still didn't want to know. He was only interested in Ana."

_Bingo! _I knew it. I _fucking _knew it. Taylor moves forward but I hold a hand up to stop him, I don't need him barging on over here and complicating the fucking situation. Inside I'm seething, I'm _burning _but I don't let it show. I just want the truth.

"He asked after her, how she was and what she's doing." She raises her chin and looks me in the eye, her cold orbs softening slightly but my façade doesn't relent for a single second. "He umm…he asked if you were still together."

"What did you tell him?"

"The truth. I thought he was going to fly at me when I told him you're engaged."

"I'll cut to the chase, did he ask you to hurt Anastasia?"

She actually has the audacity to look shocked, _offended _even. Her gasp is loud and her face pales but I know this woman and I know she doesn't have a decent bone in her fucking body. She's cold, malicious and a nothing but a lying slut so if she expects me to feel sorry for she's got another thing coming. I want nothing more than to drag her out of this building by her fucking hair but first I need answers. Her nails scratch at the back of her neck and she glances at Taylor over her shoulder but he doesn't even blink, she's on her own here.

"Would it make you happy if I said yes?"

"Of course it fucking wouldn't!" My palm slams against the desk startling the shit out of her. If this is just another one of her sick, twisted games… "You're seriously starting to push your fucking luck, Cassidy."

"He didn't say anything."

"Elaborate."

"He literally didn't say _anything. _I told him you're engaged, I even told him your wedding is soon and he didn't say a word. He just stared at me before getting up to leave, I wish I could tell you more but that's all I have. When I said bumping into Ana was a coincidence I wasn't lying, Christian. I saw her going to the bathroom and yes, I followed her but it wasn't on Brody's 'orders', I approached her because _I _needed to." She puffs her cheeks out and crosses her legs, tugging at the hem of her fitted pencil skirt. "He's clearly not over her and you know what, I don't think he ever will be. You didn't see his face when I told him you're marrying her, he looked devastated."

Call me sick, call me twisted, I don't five a _fuck. _I'll happily admit her admission fills me with nothing but joy, knowing that he's hurting, knowing that he _knows _I'm making that beautiful woman my wife in less than forty-eight hours has me beaming from ear to ear. I don't let her see that though, I simply flick my wrist and tell her to get the fuck out of my office, warning her that if she ever so much as breathes the same air as my girl again I'll make her live to regret it.

Shaking my head at Taylor, I brush off any desires he has to talk about it and wave him away. I got my answer and as much as I hate to admit it, I actually believe her. I didn't get where I am today by buying cock and bull stories from liars like Cassidy, I can sniff a bull-shitter out a mile off and today, she wasn't lying. He snatches a bottle of water out of my fridge and dismisses himself with a disgruntled huff, I don't think this was the solution he was looking for but as long as the woman I love is safe then I'm in no way interested in starting a war.

"What in the fuck was _she _doing here?" Elliot points his thumb over his shoulder and stares down at me ashen faced, dragging his filthy work boots through my office before sinking into chair adjacent to my desk.

"Did she say anything to you?"

"No, nothing. I was talking to Andrea and she tapped me on the shoulder, my balls nearly crawled inside my ass when she blew me a kiss. Has she always been that fucking _disgusting?" _

"You've changed your tune," I push my chair out and rise to my feet, opening the door to bellow my order for lunch before slamming it shut again. "It wasn't all that long ago you were kicking Kate out of your bed for her."

"I was a dickhead, no actually I was _fucking _dickhead. Cassidy was the biggest mistake of my life, Christian. If I knew back then that she was into that shit I never would have…Fuck, you know I wouldn't."

"She's ancient history, Ell. You're serious with Kate now so don't lose sleep over it, like you said, she was a mistake."

"Do I even want to know why she was here?" He burps and pats his stomach, mumbling an apology and waving his fingers at the coffee machine in the corner of my office.

"Get it your fucking self, and no, you don't want to know why she was here."

"Ana will, though. Planning to tell her?"

"Don't be a dick, of course I am. Now that I know there's nothing to worry about I'll tell her as soon as I get home tonight."

"Well you better make it snappy, Kate's been holed up with your fiancée for the best part of the day and I doubt you'll get rid of her before the rehearsal dinner."

"Do you _really _want me to mention Cassidy in front of her? She'll know you saw her here and then what will happen? My guess is she'll hang you from the fucking ceiling by your balls."

"Now _you're_ being the dick," He narrows his gaze and kicks his feet onto the desk just to piss me off, if it wasn't a Friday night and if I wasn't leaving for my honeymoon this weekend I'd lay the fucker out just for thinking he can be smart. Luckily for him, I'm in a rather good mood now I've resolved the shit storm that was Brody fucking Williams. "I just don't want to see you digging a hole for yourself, bro. Ana's not stupid and if she finds out you've kept this from her then…"

"Don't worry about it," I hold my hand up and cut him off. "I'll tell her tonight, you have my word on that."

* * *

Slight white lie, I didn't exactly rush to tell Ana the truth, but that was only because it was fucking chaos at the apartment and I couldn't get within three feet of my girl. I hadn't even seen her before Jen took my jacket and handed me a glass of wine, telling me she was locked away in the bedroom with Kate and the team of hair and make-up stylists.

I resigned myself to secrecy for the first part of the evening, making a vow to tell her before leaving for Bellevue but when I saw her in that fucking dress, the need to taste her around my tongue rapidly taking over I made a vow to tell her during the ride over, but then she straddled my lap and stroked my hard on through my slacks and now, well now I'm holding her close to me while we sway to the music outside my childhood home and I can't bare to break the moment, she feels _so _fucking good.

We dance through two more songs, the second more sensual than the first and it takes Ana all of five seconds to spin around and press her ass into my crotch, grinding herself back and forth and not giving a shit who's watching. I don't know if it's the three glasses of champagne she had over dinner, or because I left her wet and needy earlier on but she's relentless and fuck if it doesn't make my cock rock solid. I'm just thankful I don't see Ray anywhere, silently hoping he's inside the house somewhere with my dad.

"I need to use the bathroom,"

"Do you want me to come with you?" I throw her a salacious wink, hoping that 'bathroom' is code for a quick fuck bent over the counter but instead of dragging me away with a growl she swats my bicep and shakes her head, kissing the corner of my mouth before sashaying her sexy little ass across the lawn.

"Christian?" Diverting my attention away from Ana I turn to find my dad behind me, a cigar in one hand and a tumbler of what I'm presuming is his finest scotch in the other. "Are you joining us for a drink inside?"

"Is Ray with you?"

He doesn't respond verbally, he just jerks his chin and heads back through the French doors, gesturing for me to follow him with a flick of his wrist. A feeling of unease washes over me but I shake it off, Carrick has been a wonderful father but warm and cuddly he is most definitely not, so his cold demeanour doesn't surprise me in the slightest. However, the disgruntled shift to his mood does.

"When you said 'us', who did you mean exactly?"

I frown in confusion on entering, quickly realising that there isn't a single soul in here other than my dad and I. Again he's silent, pouring out another tumbler of scotch and sinking down onto the chesterfield couch. I have no fucking idea why he calls this a games room, it resembles a gentleman's club down to a tee with the fireplace, moody lighting and dark wood furnishings throughout but they won't call it that, Grace is determined that the label is too seedy, he barely even uses the fucking thing. "Sit."

"What's this about?" Reluctantly I obey, knowing better than to piss my father off when he clearly has something on his mind.

"I needed to get you alone."

"Has Elliot been talking to you? What the fuck did he say?"

"Elliot hasn't said a word, it's more what your mother has told me." I drop my when he arches a brow and cocks his head to the side. I should have known it would only be a matter of time before the truth rose to the surface, I just thought I'd be able to get my fucking wedding out of the way first. "Now, why _you _haven't told me is beyond my grasp, Christian, but that isn't important. I just want the truth."

"Mom knows everything, there's nothing more I can tell you."

"That's why he didn't come to your bachelor weekend?" He swirls his glass and drops his gaze for the briefest of seconds, giving me a reprieve, a chance to figure out how the _fuck _I'm going to be able to explain this without going round in circles. "How long has he been in love with Ana?"

"Does that really fucking matter?" I snort, reaching for my tumbler and taking a long drink, wincing as the fiery liquid burns the back of my throat. "The point is, he's in love with her. What other details do you need?"

"And Mia? Where does she fit into all of this?"

"She doesn't, not anymore anyway. Hasn't mom told you all of this?"

"I don't care if she has, I want to hear it from _you._"

This isn't Carrick, Christian Grey's father, this is Carrick the attorney. This is his sharp, no shit attitude and I'll admit it still rubs me the wrong way. Growing up, we would all run and hide whenever _this _side of him came out, even Grace would avoid him like the plague but it wasn't because he intimidated us, we knew he'd never hurt us but he was just…a little tough to take. That's what makes him the hot-shot lawyer he is today, if he can back me into a corner then he can back _anyone _into a corner.

"He used her. He used her to get to Ana and she fell for it, I managed to step in before she actually fell in love with the fucker but he still got to her, dad. He came here, to _our _house and sat at _our _table all fucking smug, sitting next to my sister while drooling over my fiancee. Then he had the audacity to follow Ana to the bathroom, he _dared _to tell the woman I'm marrying that he loves her, that he's _in _love with her. Is that enough fucking information for you?"

I don't know when I stood up but by the end of my tirade I'm pacing the floor, my hand fisted in my hair and my tumbler now empty. Dad's just sitting there, elbows resting on his parted thighs as he rolls the unlit cigar between his fingers. He doesn't look at me, he _won't _look at me. All I get after that is heavy fucking breathing and a case of the cold shoulder.

"This is one big mess, Christian. How did you let it get to this?"

"You're blaming me? I tell you that Ethan Kavanagh used your daughter while fawning over my fiancee like a little bitch and you blame _me? _Wonderful, just fucking wonderful."

"Don't take that tone with me, I'm simply trying to get to the bottom of this."

"No, you're simply trying to stir the shit, that's what you're doing." Storming across the room, I aggressively pour myself another drink without even bothering to refill dad's glass, I don't even blink when the lid from his $200 crystal cut decanter slips from my hand and hits the table with a thud. I merely don't give a _fuck. _"How could I stop this from happening? By the time I knew anything about Mia hooking up with him she'd already invited him over for fucking coffee and tiramisu, I was too late."

"You could've come to me, Christian. You're my _son. _I would've helped you."

"I needed to handle it my way, Anastasia was already mortified without adding you into the mix. Then mom figured things out and-" I crane my neck and glance at my father who is now standing, nursing his drink with his free hand fisted in his pants pocket. "Too many people knew. It was getting too messy."

"And now? How messy is it now?"

"I think he's got the message," I grunt over the rim of my glass. "Mia knows the truth, Ana knows not to have any contact with him and he still has fully functional knee caps. It's been dealt with."

"This can't be easy for Katherine,"

"Dad, I don't mean to sound like an ass but Kate is the least of my worries. I'm more concerned about the welfare of my sister and my wife."

"He didn't…Did he _get _to Mia properly?"

"Are you asking me if they slept together?" He nods with a wince and I can completely relate. If this was my baby girl in the middle of such a shit storm, if some little _fucker _had tried to seduce her solely for his own selfish reasons? I wouldn't be this calm and he wouldn't be breathing. "No, she swears they didn't."

"That's something I suppose."

"Mia's an easy target. She's beautiful, young and sweet and he knew that, he knew he'd be able to worm his way in through her."

"If I ever see him again…" Dad shakes his head and closes his eyes, his fingers clenching around the glass so tightly I'm surprised it hasn't shattered. "To think I was considering taking the boy on."

"What do you mean?"

"He approached me a while back, told me he was interested in studying the field. He'd heard of an internship programme at the practice and well, I guess he thought it was his opening." Of course he did. That's why dad was asking so many questions at my bachelor party, that's why he defended Ethan to the bone and that's why he's taken this so hard, throwing the blame in my direction because it's so much easier than blaming Ethan. He was his new little pet, his golden prodigy. "The kid probably had no intentions of taking it seriously, I was just his meal ticket."

"Is that why mom told you?"

"Partly. I think she'd just grown tired of keeping it to herself, you know she isn't the best at keeping secrets."

"So what now? What will you do now?"

"I'm going to keep my promise to my wife and leave things be, and you, well I'll completely understand if you want to hunt him down and kick his ass."

"Dad, I want to do more than kick his ass I want to rip his fucking head off. Do you realise how many arguments this has caused between me and Ana? Kate and Elliot too come to think of it."

"Don't give him the satisfaction, Christian. He'd love nothing more than to cause a rift between the four of you and let's be honest, you and your brother aren't exactly renowned for keeping a cool head. He's waiting for you to blow up in his face."

He's right, we're not. I couldn't actually tell you who's worse out the two of us but where my family are concerned, I'm liable to commit murder with my bare hands. Something Ethan Kavanagh will be quick to realise if he so much as _breathes_ on Anastasia again. Just then the door pushes open and my girl pops her head around the frame as she taps her knuckles against the wood. She smiles that perfect fucking smile and everything in my world is right again, _she _makes everything right.

Her shoulders are tight and rigid and I can sense her discomfort instantly. I'm locked away in a room with my father when I told her I'd wait for her to finish up in the bathroom, I didn't tell her where I was going and despite our tendency to clash horns, we're both still standing and no-one is bleeding.

"Everything okay?"

"Perfect, sweet girl," Dad wraps an arm around Ana's dainty shoulders and kisses her forehead not once but twice, throwing her a wink before glancing my way. "I need to get back out there anyway your mother will be wondering where I am." Dropping the cigar onto the table, the cigar he didn't even smoke he smirks and shakes his head. "No need to tell her about that either, she'd have my ass if she knew."

Her scent washes over me as she palms my cheek and leans in to press a kiss to my lips, soothing me to the point of exhaustion. I want nothing more than to pick her up, carry her to bed and make love to her delectable body all night long but I fucking can't and it's killing me. We have at least another hour together before heading to our separate apartments and the difficult side to me, the asshole who still likes to come out and play from time to time wants to say fuck it, I want to drag her back to _my _bed and hold her till' sunrise but that would go down like a cup of cold vomit. She's already so adamant about spending the night apart, she _needs _this time alone and while I hate every part of it, I only want to make her happy.

"I have something to tell you,"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"It's nothing bad, I promise you. Do you trust me, baby?"

She's dubious, that much is true but she still nods her head and smiles brightly making my heart clench and my dick hard. I quickly pull her flush against me before she changes her mind, perching on the arm of the overstuffed leather chair and dragging her between my parted thighs. "Okay, I'm all ears."

"Before I tell you, I need you to know that I didn't do this to be secretive, or because I wanted to keep this from you, I did it because I love you and I couldn't…I just couldn't leave it alone without knowing the truth."

"Now I _definitely _don't like the sound of this."

_Rip off the band-aid, Grey. Just fucking rip it off. _"I brought Cassidy in today, she came to Grey House." Her fingers freeze at the back of my neck and her lips flatten into a thin line, I can't decipher if she's pissed off or just shocked but she doesn't say anything for a good sixty seconds if not longer, I'm not even sure she's breathing until I see her cheeks puff with a small exhale of air.

"Why?"

"I needed to, the not knowing was eating away at me and baby, I promised myself that I'd never threaten your safety again and _she _was a threat. Or at least I thought she was."

"So, what did she say?" She sighs and her eyes drop to my mouth as her fingers resume their tangling in my hair. "Was she forthcoming?"

"Is she ever?" I scoff. "She swears the two of you ending up in the same club was nothing but a coincidence, at first I didn't believe her but then…"

"But then, what?"

"Ana," My hands slide up her lithe body and stop at her neck, cradling her face between my palms I hold her still and make solid eye contact. This way she can't accuse me of stalling with the truth or putting a spin on what really happened, she knows I can't lie for shit when we're face to face like this. "I don't trust the bitch and I never will, she's a slut and she's a drug addict but today…something was different and I can't put my fucking finger on, I won't even waste my time trying but I need you to believe me when I tell you, she wasn't lying."

"You're sure?"

I fucking hate how timid she sounds, I hate how small she looks despite her incredible strength. These bastards tried to destroy the woman I love and for that they can both rot in fucking hell, I have my answers and that's all I need to sleep at night. What happens to either of them is none of my concern. "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do,"

"Say it. Tell me you trust me." _Come on, baby. Just say it. _

"With my life, Christian. I trust you with my life."

"Then you'll know I'd never lie to you, you know that don't you?" She softly nods her head and that's all I fucking need. I catch her warm, plump lips in a vicious kiss, groping her ass as I devour her mouth until we're both panting for breath. "I didn't want to keep it from you. I _couldn't _keep it from you."

"I'm glad," Her fingers swipe across my mouth and she grins big, baring her perfect teeth. "While we're sharing secrets, I have something to tell you, too."

"Should I be scared?"

"No, wary maybe but definitely not scared." Her hands lock at the back of my neck and her eyes find mine, she's doing the 'eye contact' thing too and if it wasn't for her salacious smirk I'd be shitting fucking bricks. "I told Kate that we're trying for a baby."

"I thought we weren't telling anyone?"

"We aren't…It's a long story but I just needed to tell my best friend, Christian. We were in the moment and I needed something…I needed something good to focus on. Are you angry?"

"Of course I'm not angry," I snort a laugh. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you caved,"

"She's been sworn to secrecy. I know she's a blabber mouth but not about this, she won't tell anyone." Kate may be a lot of things but Ana is more like a sister to her and her loyalty towards my girl knows no bounds. I'm not in the least bit worried . "This feels good, the whole sharing secrets thing."

"I know, we should to it more often."

Spinning on her heel she turns to walk away and before I realise it I'm following her like a little bitch. _Jesus Christ,_ _only this woman can make me 'heel' like a fucking puppy. I'll be licking her ankles next. _"Anything else you need to get off your chest before you make me your wife, Mr. Grey?"

"Nothing that I can think of," I reach for her face and tuck a curl behind her ear once her tiny hand is curled around the door knob, ready to step back out into the throng of people vying for our undivided attention. "Oh actually, I told Elliot about the whole baby thing this afternoon, too."

* * *

Anastasia's POV

Leaving Christian at Bellevue was bittersweet. The thought of spending the night away from him is a depressing one, this is the first time we've consciously agreed to sleeping separately but knowing that the next time I see him is when I'll be walking down to aisle to him, moments away from beginning the rest of our lives, well that more than takes the edge off.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck and pouted like a small boy being torn away from his mother. His lips brushed against my ear lobe and when Kate hollered from the confines of the waiting car on the driveway he grumbled his displeasure and gripped my hips for dear life, refusing to let me go.

"Popcorn's in the microwave, _Dirty Dancing's _on pause and I have a Sex on the Beach with your name on it. What in the fuck is taking you so long?"

"I'm just texting Christian," My cell is snatched from my hand the second his name leaves my lips, the gadget slipping down Kate's jersey sweater and into her bra. "You do know I'll just go down there, right?"

"No more communication, I'm forbidding it. If you're not sleeping in the same bed tonight then you're not talking either." She flicks her blonde hair over her shoulder and leans against the doorjamb, shaking her head as a scoff escapes her lips. "God, Steele, get a grip. You haven't even gone an hour without him, yet."

"You're no fun," I pout and reach for the zip of my dress with one hand, the other hand tugging at the pins holding my French Twist together. "Is the popcorn salted or sweet?"

"Sweet, obviously. I even got a shit load of Reese cups just for you so don't say I don't do anything for you." She clicks her fingers and throws me an exaggerated wink before pushing off the doorjamb and spinning on her heel, her blonde tresses whipping her in the face. "Now get a shift on before Liv drinks the entire damn pitcher."

Even though we have a manicurist hired for top-to-toe servicing tomorrow morning, I walk out of Kate's bedroom to find her with her feet in Olivia's lap, tissue slotted between her toes as our friend flicks Cerise pink across each nail with precise strokes. I shuffle behind her, ignoring Kate's shriek when I accidentally knock Olivia's back as I reach for the cocktail glass with 'my name on it'.

"Are you nervous?"

"What's there to be nervous about?"

"Tripping? Forgetting your vows? Bawling in front of a thousand people on the biggest day of your life? Need I go on?"

"Ray won't let me trip, I can't forget my vows because they're literally _imprinted _on my brain and if I cry, I cry," I add with a shrug, peeling away the wrapper and popping a Reese cup into my mouth. "You know me, I'm bound to."

"I wouldn't worry," Kate chimes in as she bends to blow on her freshly painted toe-nails. _How in the hell is she that flexible? _"Grace will break down the second you start walking, she'll take all the attention away from you in a heartbeat."

"I don't doubt it for a second,"

"Kate, for the love of God, _please _can you promise to be gentle with Blake?" Olivia whines and nudges her shoulder.

"Just because you're fucking again doesn't mean we all have to like him."

"We're not fuc…we're not sleeping together again, we've just been talking that's _all_."

"Yeah and pigs fucking fly," Choosing to remain impartial I drudge into the kitchen and drain a tall glass of water. Kate shoots me an evil stare but I don't give a shit, it's almost midnight, I've been drinking alcohol for the past seven hours and I'm getting married tomorrow, I don't need a hangover casting a shadow over the biggest day of my life. "I promise I'll be gentle," She acquiesces. "Although I don't know why you're so bothered, he's a big boy I'm sure he can handle himself."

"Have you met you?"

"Have _you _met me? It's our best friend's fucking wedding day, do you seriously think I'd cause a scene just because I think he has ulterior motives."

"What's all this 'ulterior motive' horseshit?" Olivia scrunches her face up and shrinks away from Kate. "I ended our relationship and now I'm opening the door again, Blake's just the poor bastard who's chosen to put up with my bitchy mood swings, I'm surprised he's even talking to me after the crap I pulled."

"I just don't see how this can end well…for either of you." Her voice softens and her hand stretches out to touch Olivia's shoulder, ignoring the slight flinch of her arms when their hands brush against each other. "I only say it because I care."

"Maybe we should just leave them to it, Kate." Her eyes fly to mine and there's nothing but remorse hiding there, regret for opening her big mouth when really, she knows full well that their relationship has diddly-squat to do with us. This is Kate being Kate, her intentions are genuine and her heart's always in the right place but sometimes she just can't help herself. Sometimes she just goes too far.

"For what it's worth, I actually _do _like Blake. I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt again, Liv. He was openly flirting with that trampy-ass waitress right in front of you! Who _does _that?"

"Before you start, I know that they were once…involved. Blake told me everything."

"So he stares at her tits all night but that's okay because he told you that he fucked her once?"

"Why do you have to be so crude all the time? They were in a casual relationship, they were young and it suited them. What's so wrong with that?"

"This coming from the girl who once despised the thought of a one night stand?"

Shit's about to escalate real fast, so instead of standing in the kitchen like a gormless moron I quickly skip back to the couch and squeeze between my two best friends, hugging one of Kate's fluffy cushions to my chest as I turn up the volume on the T.V, my eyes glued to the screen as Johnny launches Baby into 'the lift'. I'm silently willing for them both to drop it and when neither one so much as moves to throw a dirty glare over my shoulder I somewhat relax. _See, they can behave. _

Blake isn't mentioned again and just like that, with nothing more than a click of the fingers, everything is forgotten. I can't deny that I'm worried for Olivia, it wasn't all that long ago she swore on the holy bible that her love for Blake had waned and now she's rushing to spend time with him again? It's fast and feelings clearly haven't been considered on both ends but I'm staying out of it. She's a grown woman and she knows what she's doing. This would just be a whole lot easier if two of our friends weren't involved, this is what Kate struggles with. Blake is one of her boyfriend's best friends and she's stuck in the middle defending both sides. _It's more than awkward. _

It's a little after twelve-thirty by the time I decide to call it a night and despite falling into bed beyond exhausted, I toss and turn for at least forty-five minutes running over every small detail in my head. What if the flowers die? What if I balloon during the night and don't fit into my damn dress? Fuck, what if I _do _trip down the aisle? That almost sends me into a cold sweat so I throw the covers off and splash my face with cold water before trying to distract myself with a one of those annoying yet _addictive _games in my app store.

A quiet vibration, muffled by my hand forcefully drags me back to reality and my heart hammers in my chest when I see his name flashing across the screen, the one name that makes my mouth dry and my palms clammy all at the same time.

We promised that we wouldn't exchange so much as a text, granted I almost broke that rule as soon as I walked through Kate's apartment door but we _did _promise. Although I'm grinning like an idiot when I pull up his message and click on it under three seconds flat. _Promises be damned. _

**-I can't stop thinking about you, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow, Miss. Steele. You do realise that's the last time I'll ever call you that, don't you? This time tomorrow you'll be Mrs. Grey. I love you so much it hurts. **

A thick, salty tear rolls down my cheek as my fingers tap out a reply and in that moment, I couldn't give a fuck if the flowers die or if my ass is too big for the dress, I couldn't care less if I fall flat on my face in front of everyone because I know Christian will pick me up. He always picks me up. If I forget my vows or cry during the ceremony nothing bad will happen to me, it's all materialistic and insignificant because I'll be Mrs. Grey. I'll be his wife. I'll finally be his wife.

**-I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Grey. Look out for me, I'll be the one wearing white. **

* * *

Author's Note - Don't forget to check out the Pinterest board, lots of pictures will be uploaded in preparation for the wedding.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten - Will You Take This Journey With Me?**

Author's Note: A big hello to all of my wonderful readers! The wedding has been split into two parts because like anything, in order for me to cover it well it needs two chapters (if not more) I hope you love reading this half as much as I loved writing it.

Christian and Anastasia's adventure begins…

* * *

Christian's POV

If someone had told me I'd be getting married a year ago, fuck if someone had told me six _months _ago I'd have laughed in their fucking faces and bet my entire net worth on how delusional and wrong they were. Yet here I am, 8AM on the morning of my wedding. Anxious as fuck and proud of it too. So it seems that _I'm_ the delusional one, delusional to think I could resist the beauty that is Anastasia Steele. _My wedding day. I'm getting fucking married._

After a gruelling six mile run with Taylor I find myself scrolling through my phone for her name, my thumb hovering over the call button before a hungover Elliot swats the thing out of my hand and shoves a fist into my chest. "What the fuck, bro? You do know it's bad luck to talk to her before the ceremony, right?"

"You sound like mom." I roll my eyes and bend to pick up my phone, the same phone which now has a fucking crack across the screen, Ana's face slightly distorted and grainy as a result. "You'll pay for that, asshat."

"Why are you trying to call her?"

"Why not?"

"Grow some fucking balls and man up, you'll see her in what…nine hours?"

_Nine hours. Longest nine hours of my fucking life. _

"What crawled up your ass and took a shit?"

With a huff he rubs his eye with the heel of his hand and throws back an Advil followed by an entire bottle of mineral water, leaning against the doorjamb with his eyes closed. "Why is it so god damn early? And why the _fuck _is mom cooking for the five-thousand? That bacon stench is making me want to hurl."

I don't even attempt to hide my grin. Serves the bastard right for thinking he could out drink my Uncle Jeremy and still remain upright. After Anastasia left with the girls last night my dad ushered the men into his study for a 'night-cap' His cheeks were already flushed, indicating that his tolerance for the twenty-five year old malt he'd been necking all night was almost at it's limit, not that he even gave a shit. He didn't so much as blink when my mother told him he'd be sleeping on the couch if he came home drunk.

Ray being the _machine _thathe is managed to drink all of us fucking stupid. I threw in the towel the second I thought singing in public was a good idea and Elliot, well Elliot made it to bed long after we'd left for Escala. Mia said she got up to use the bathroom somewhere during the early hours of this morning to find him slumped against the wall in the hallway snoring like a lumber-jack. She tapped his ribs with the heel of her foot and he didn't even stir.

"Elliot Grey, you should be ashamed of yourself. Lord knows I am." Mom pushes at his shoulders, forcing him into a seated position and despite his loud outcry of pain she swats at the side of his head again, clicking her tongue and shaking her head as she pours him out a glass of orange juice. "_Drunk _on the morning of your brother's wedding. It's disgusting."

"It's not like I was the only one drinking."

"How old are you? Twelve?"

"_How old are you? Twelve?_"

He mimics back like a little bitch, scrunching his face up as he reaches across the table to swipe a pancake the second mom sets the plate down in front of me. _I rest my case_. "I thought you wanted to hurl?"

"It's passed."

"Can we please just have a nice, civilised breakfast without any fuss? Today's a big day."

"Yeah, the sooner we do this the sooner I can get the hell out of here. Kate's already tried to facetime me _twice._" Mia whines and drops her face into her palm, her lips pursing into a disgruntled pout. "I don't see why _I _have to be here when I'm one of Ana's bridesmaids? Surely it makes more sense for me to be at their apartment?"

"You're here because you're part of this family and we're spending time together as a _family_, now stop with the sulking and eat your damn breakfast." Grace Trevelyan-Grey is a force to be fucking reckoned with this morning. Of course, she's all sweetness and light with me but then again I _am _the one getting married and I can do no wrong. These two are nothing but fuck heads.

By 7AM, Mia and Elliot were piling out of my elevator and setting up camp in the kitchen where mom had been for the past twenty-five minutes. I don't know how long Ray had been awake for but he was already seated at the breakfast bar with a coffee and a newspaper by the time I'd made an appearance. "Anyone would think I'm the one getting married. My stomach's in knots." He'd told me with a heavy sigh, his fingers scratching the back of his neck as he flicked the paper closed and sipped his cappuccino.

He hadn't been the only one. After exchanging a handful of texts with Ana I tossed and turned for the best part of the night, even the scent of her balled up tee-shirt next to my face couldn't lull me to sleep so soon as dawn broke I gave up, showering quickly before knocking Taylor up for a run. I don't ever remember feeling this fucking nervous in my life, I don't _do _nervous. I never have done but the minute my sweet girl's face crept into the forefront of my mind I crumbled to the damn ground.

In less than ten hours she'll be my wife and _fuck _if that doesn't scare the shit out of me. I fell in love with this woman the second I laid eyes on her and nothing's changed, if anything my love for her has intensified and now that we're here, emotions are running more than high. _I just need her to be mine. I need her with me always. _

"Isn't Jen eating with us?"

"Jen? She left for Kate's apartment before you even got here."

"What? See, mom, _everyone _is already there. Can't I just bag this up to go?"

"You're seriously treading on thin ice, young lady. I won't tell you again."

"Oh, just let her go." Elliot grumbles through a mouthful of food before burping and patting his stomach. _Fucking disgusting. _"She'll only bitch the entire time if you don't."

"Dad isn't even here."

"He's in the shower, he'll be out shortly."

Two hours later I'm showered and shaved, perched on the edge of the ottoman and waiting for my mother, the small box I'm holding nestled tightly in my palm. The door behind me opens and clicks closed but I don't turn around, I don't look up when she sits beside me and I don't make eye contact when her elegant fingers curl around mine, lessening my grip and tugging the box out of my hand. It's only when her palm covers mine, our fingers locking together that I jerk my chin to the right of me. "You're sure about this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't mean that, I mean are you sure you want _me _to give this to Anastasia?"

"I'm not allowed to see her, am I? So I need you to do it for me. It needs to be today."

She sees right through me, she always has done. This is the woman who tore right through my grief when I was a small boy. She held me, loved me and cherished me back to a healthy place despite the empty, gaping hole inside of me. I don't care what anyone says, I may have only been five years old but I still knew what happened, I remember everything. I didn't believe in fucking angels and I didn't believe in heaven. One day she was there and then she wasn't. She wasn't there anymore. "Do you talk about her?"

"Not much," I shrug and release my mom's hand, wiping my palms against the fabric of my sweatpants. "There isn't much to say. Ana knows the basics."

"What would you like me to tell her?"

"The truth, that I want her to have it and I want her to have it today. She'll grill you until you break so I _know _you'll tell her more and that's okay, she deserves to know the truth."

With a soft smile, Grace rises and slides the box into her Hermes purse. Her face is void of all make-up and her hair is hanging loose around her shoulders. She hasn't changed into her wedding outfit yet, she's dressed in a pair of light denim jeans and camel-coloured cashmere sweater, she looks so casual, so _normal. _My mother is a beautiful woman, she's barely aged a day over the past twenty-three years and if anything she's more attractive _now. _She's a socialite and being the mother of Christian Grey has put her in a constant spot light so seeing her so dressed down is refreshing. "Do you have any other messages?"

_I love her. I can't wait to marry her. I need to make her the mother of my child? _"No, nothing."

Just like she always used to do, she runs her fingers through my hair and bends to kiss the crown of my head before gliding out of my bedroom. I said I didn't believe in angels but that isn't entirely true.

Grace Grey is my angel.

* * *

Anastasia's POV

I was right. Kate _did _take care of my outfit for the car ride and it _is _tacky as hell. Hanging on the back of my bedroom door is a black velour hoodie and pant set with _The Bride _emblazoned across the back in rhinestone lettering. Not only that, she's bought us all matching pale pink kimono robes to wear whilst getting ready.

With nothing more than any eye roll she tossed the scrap of silk in my direction and fisted her hands on her hips. "You may be marrying a Mogul but that doesn't mean you can't do all the tacky shit before. You're wearing it!"

It took me all of three seconds to throw the thing on and lighten up. I'm blaming my sour mood this morning on total lack of sleep. I felt beyond nauseous with nerves and as soon as Jen strolled into the apartment wearing her signature perfume, arms stretched open with an adoring smile I broke into a fit of sobs. I think everyone thought I was having second thoughts so to ease their discomfort I tried to laugh through my tears, flapping my arms in the air and shaking my head resembling a demented seal. I couldn't even speak, the reality of what's happening today slapped me in the face like a fucking freight train and nothing could calm me down.

Until someone shoved a glass of champagne in my face that was, I flopped down onto the bed and guzzled the thing back like a champ, the fizzy bubbles calming my ridiculous nerves somewhat.

In the shower I shaved every inch of skin possible before buffing with an inch of my life, deciding to ditch the loofah when my skin turned a raw shade of pink I shampooed my hair not once but _twice, _following Ashleigh's strict instructions and leaving the conditioner bottle well alone after the first pump. Both Olivia and Kate burst into the bathroom on separate occasions to pee and when my Maid of Honor interrupted for the second time with a face slathered in pea-green gloop I swallowed the urge to throw the bar of soap straight through the glass.

So when Grace arrives with Mia a little after eleven-thirty I'm more than relieved. Mia is as boisterous as ever, in fact she's a real fireball as she rushes to change into her robe but Grace is a picture of calm and serenity. _I needed her like…yesterday. _

"Ana!" She gasps quietly, her hand flying to the base of her throat as she drops her purse. "You look so beautiful."

"She isn't even finished yet," I giggle, glancing up at Danielle who thankfully gets the hint and backs away for a second, discreetly sifting through her wide array of brushes across the room. "How is he?"

"Perfect." She beams, her eyes twinkling with love and adoration for her baby boy. "How are _you_?"

"Nervous. Excited."

"Are we on schedule?" Her neck twists as she glances around the living room, smiling at my bridesmaids who are sitting with their feet in warm Jasmine scented soak, flutes held out to the side when Luke circles the room to top up their champagne.

"God, I hope so. I need everything running smoothly for when Heather gets here." Tapping my hand, she jerks her chin and quietly asks for a private moment. Aware that my toe-nails are still wet I tiptoe into the bedroom on the balls of my feet and tighten the sash of my robe. "Is everything okay?"

"I have something for you." She rummages around in her purse for a few seconds, almost like she's stalling but when I open my mouth to speak she pulls out something small and dark, navy blue I think.. I can't quite make it out, her hands are covering whatever it is and obstructing it from my view. My heart hammers in my chest and my leg starts to bounce. "Well, Christian has something for you."

"What is it?"

With nothing more than a warm yet nervous smile, she takes my hand and places a small velvet box in the center of my palm, squeezing my fingers and puffing her cheeks out. I'm almost too nervous to open this because whatever's inside has Grace welling up with unshed tears, she almost looks distraught.

Shaking fingers fiddle with the clasp, slowly lifting the lid to reveal a beautiful necklace. The delicate chain holds three linked rings with a freshwater pearl in the center, my fingers gently trace the stone as a light exhale escapes my lips. This is so different to all the other pieces he's bought for me, usually it's something with bling encased in a Cartier box but this, this is so simple and stunning it takes my breath away.

"It was his mother's." Those four, quietly spoken words have my head snapping up to find Grace's watery orbs under less than a second, a dainty finger catches a falling tear and she gently shakes her head. "Not me. His birth mother."

"His birth…" I can't even finish the sentence, the lump in my throat prevents me from doing anything other than breathing heavily. The box is still open in my hand but now I'm too afraid to look at it, I'm still trying to absorb what the hell she's just said to me.

"This is all he has left of her. Growing up he couldn't even bring himself to look at it, Carrick had the box locked away in his safe ready for whenever he needed it but the day never came, not until your birthday."

"My birthday?" Why the fuck am I repeating everything like a gormless moron? I have so much I want to say, so much I want to ask but I can't seem to articulate the words. "Why then?"

"He said he needed it for you. I think he knew he wanted to gift it to you before your wedding, I think he always knew that from the second he proposed."

My mind drifts back to my birthday. We'd spent the entire weekend before in Montesano with Ray and it had been absolutely perfect. Not only had it been the first time I'd brought Christian home but it was the first time he'd been able to see where I grew up. There were no unhappy memories tainted with sick step-father's or neglectful mothers, there had been no screaming or glasses thrown against walls; shattering into a thousand pieces, that house was my happy place, I think it always will be and being able to share it with the man I love was incredible.

So to include the Grey's we'd spent my actual birthday with them. Grace had prepared the most beautiful dinner and we drank mimosas outside on the deck facing the water, talking and planning the wedding until the early hours. Looking back now I _do_ remember Christian dragging Carrick away after dessert. They were gone for more than half-an-hour and once they'd returned, Christian looked spent and desolate. I remember thinking he'd been crying, his eyes were red and swollen and every so often he'd swipe at his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. _Is this what he was doing? Reclaiming his mother's possessions back?_

"I don't understand?"

"She was wearing it the day she died. Like I said, it's all he has let of her." I feel like the walls are closing in on me when the room spins, my fingers are clenching the box so tightly my knuckles are white and my breathing is heavy and laboured. "Does he talk about her?"

"Not really," I whisper. "I didn't even know much about her until after we were engaged, he said it was too hard to even think about."

The details are sparse and vague but I know what's important, I know what he's chosen to share with me. Christian was born into a single parent family, she had been young and despite growing up in a wealthy and respected environment she fell for the resident bad boy, later falling pregnant. Of course, his biological father wanted nothing to do with either of them ultimately leaving her with a baby and nowhere to live.

She died when he was five years old, knocked down by a car. I think the impact of the hit killed her instantly. My body shudders as a chill runs down the length of my spine, I can't even think about it without feeling the need to throw up. _What if Christian had been with her that day? What if the car had…Jesus I can taste the bile in my throat and all I'm doing is thinking about it._

"He adored her," Grace continues, her voice slightly stronger now as her back straightens. "I'll never forget meeting that broken, little boy as he cried for her, he just couldn't understand why his mommy never came back for him. It still gives me nightmares even now."

"I've always wondered something, why didn't Christian's father come forward? What about her parents? Didn't she have any siblings? How could he have _no-one _after she died_?_"

"Her parent's were Catholics, Ana. They disowned their daughter the second she came home tainted and pregnant, as far as I know they had never even met Christian after he was born. She was an only child and as for his father?" She spits the word _father _like it's venomous and I guess in a lot of ways it is. "He'd moved on to the next poor girl before she'd even reached her second trimester, she had no-one. Only Christian."

My lip quivers and my hand shakes as I remove the necklace from it's tiny box, the chain feels so thin and delicate in my hand to the point where I'm scared I'll break it. "He was automatically placed into the care system?"

"We were contacted by the authorities under less than a week. After adopting Elliot, we always knew we wanted more so we kept our names out there and I'm so thankful that we did."

I want to ask her why they chose to adopt him, what made that little boy so special but before I can open my mouth I realise just how ridiculous that question even is. Christian has always been special, there's something so loveable and perfect about him. There's a reason why I couldn't resist falling for him and although it's different on so many levels, I'm sure Grace knows exactly what I mean. "It's a pearl?"

"His birthstone. Well, _one _of his birthstones. I like to think she chose the pearl because it symbolises beauty, loyalty and wisdom. Perfect for him don't you think?" Once again I'm speechless, there are no words. This moment is so surreal and overwhelming, part of me wishes that Christian had given me this himself but on the other hand I think it's perfect that Grace is here with me now. _His mother. _"He doesn't want you to wear it today, he knows it won't go with your dress whatsoever but he still wanted you to have it. Put it away someway safe?"

"I will,"

Her hand reaches for my face, her thumbs tenderly swiping across my cheeks and hitting the tears as they fall at a rapid and uncontrolled pace. "Now, let's get back out there. You, my darling girl need this make-up retouching."

I don't follow her out straight away, instead I stand facing the full-length mirror with Christian's birth mother's necklace around my neck, my hand grazing it's beauty with the gentlest of touches. I so desperately want to wear it today, I couldn't give a shit if it doesn't exactly match, I wouldn't care if it was a huge blue pendant, it's so special and sentimental it _deserves _to be worn.

_But what if he doesn't want me to wear it? _Despite what he'd told Grace, what if seeing me with his mother's necklace will be too much for him to handle? I know for a _fact _if Ray wasn't here with me today, Christian wearing something of his would mean the world to me. It would feel like my dad, in some small way was there with me. _But it's not you, Ana. _We've both lost parents, my biological father died before I even had the chance to know him, but Christian - Christian loved his mother, he _knew _her. He knew her and then he lost her, some careless bastard deprived a little boy of his mommy. They are in no way, shape or form, the same situations.

I scour the bedroom for a good five minutes, trying to find somewhere to stash it but then I remember I'm in Kate's apartment and I have fuck all here, no jewelry box, no safe, _nothing. _I could just have Sawyer take it back to Escala but I want it with me after the wedding, I want to wear it during our honeymoon and having it at the apartment is just too much of an inconvenience so instead I track Luke down, shaking fingers hand the box over and I don't think I've ever been more terrified to let something go before.

"Keep this safe for me, don't let it out of your sight."

He doesn't know what's inside, he doesn't even ask but the strong, confident nod he gives me is enough as he slots the most precious piece of jewelry I've ever owned inside the breast pocket of his jacket, patting it with his fingers and throwing me a sincere smile. I trust him. _He'll _keep it safe.

* * *

"You are such a beautiful bride, baby, as I knew you would be."

My make-up is finished but my hair is still pinned into curls so they won't drop too early, I'm wearing my _Bride _sweats and my limbs feel like damn jelly. I don't _feel _beautiful yet but having Ray here with tears in his eyes soothes me to the bone. He taps the tip of my nose with his finger and bends to kiss my cheek, surprisingly mindful of my make-up. "Are the cars here?"

"Any minute now." The camera continues to flash behind me but I'm oblivious to the guy now, he's taken that many pictures of me this morning I couldn't begin to count even if I wanted to. _I swear I'll shove that camera up his ass if he gets in my face one more time, though. _

"Thank _Christ_ you're here, Ray, she's been chewing on her finger-nails all morning," To prove her point Kate snatches the offending hand out of my mouth and holds it in the air, my pale pink polish is still perfectly in tact much to my surprise. _What the hell is in that stuff? Fucking glue? _"I swear I'll wrap your fingers up in duct-tape if you do that again."

"I'm fine,"

"If you don't have a case of the butterflies on your wedding day, baby, then something isn't right. Do you need a drink?"

"That only makes me worse," I grumble, shaking my half-full bottle of water and pushing my hip off the back of the couch. "I think I'm getting indigestion."

"Okay, you seriously need to calm it the hell down, Steele," Olivia's hands grasp my shoulders and she shakes me slightly. I'm not hysterical, I'm just nervous. She's treating me like I'm about to set the apartment on fire. "Eat another Hershey bar before your sugar levels drop."

"I don't need a fucking _Hershey _bar, Olivia! I need the damn car to get here so we can leave, I just need to be there. I'll be _fine _once I'm there."

"I knew it was the calm before the storm,"

"Excuse me?"

"You've been so _weirdly _relaxed throughout this entire engagement, it was only a matter of time before you imploded." Kate cocks her head to the side and clucks her tongue, her eyes doing that "_I'm right and you know I'm right" _thing. It's annoying as fuck.

"I'm not imploding."

"Well, you're not calm!"

I rock back and forth on the heels of my feet, folding my arms across my chest before storming across the room to the window, almost like I'm expecting the cars to just appear out of thin air or something. Maybe I should just change into my dress? Maybe then it will feel more _normal, _this whole thing will feel more normal.

I don't know how many times I've called Luke over since giving him the necklace, I stopped Ashleigh three times when she was expertly winding my hair around the most oddest looking barrel I've ever seen just so I could check that it was still safe. I even patted his chest down like a mad woman at one point, needing to feel the bulge in his pocket for myself. _That sounds so much filthier than I intended it to. _

"Okay, which wise ass thought it was a good idea to give Bethy soda?" Lou pinches the bridge of her nose, puffing her cheeks out and wiping her palms against the hem of her knee-length champagne coloured dress. She looks ready to commit murder. "Ana, she hasn't stopped bouncing around since I dressed her. If you don't want her to-"

"Lou, she's fine." I smile at her. "She's just a little excitable, that's all." _I need some of that kid's energy. _"She'll settle soon enough."

Just then, said child skips into the living room before breaking out into a run, tugging on my sweat pants as she circles me to the point where I think she'll throw up. Lou tries to make a grab for her arm but the little shit isn't having any of it, if anything it makes her worse. I bend to her height and pinch the tip of her nose, trying to look as stern as possible and failing miserably. _Just look at that face… _

"Ana, baby, I think the cars are here."

"Can someone _please _double check we have everything?" I palm my forehead and close my eyes but a hand swats at my arm, grumbling about smudging the make-up and leaving a hand-print like I even give a shit. I'm getting freaking married. "Mia? You have the dress?"

"Of _course _I have the dress!"

"Has anyone seen my over night bag?" I almost scream when I don't see it near the front door, the spot where I'd left it now empty. "How the hell can I leave without my bag!"

"Ana, I have it!" Kate yells with an eye roll, tapping her foot against the floor and waving her hand in the air with a huff. "We have your dress, we have your shoes, we even have your goddamn panties the only thing we don't have is _you. _"Let's do this!"

"Ma'am if you could just hold tight for a second,"

"What? What is it?"

"Bailey is securing the area ready for our departure."

"Are there paps outside?" I groan, lifting my thumb nail to my mouth so I can chew the anxiety away until Kate shoots me another glare. "I thought we had that under control?"

"For now we do, but I'm not risking you setting foot outside this apartment until I know for sure."

I can see the panic washing over Ray's face as he absorbs Sawyer's words. Before I can even intercept he's yanking the apartment door open before sprinting out only to return less than two minutes later. He doesn't even appear breathless. "There's a group of them around the corner, the boy outside with the ridiculous goatee is convinced they received a tip off."

"Who would do that?"

"That doesn't matter right now," Sawyer cuts in, his fingers tapping across his smart phone at rapid speed, most probably shooting a text to Taylor. "Mr. Grey has insisted that under no circumstances are-"

"I know, I know he doesn't want any pictures of me leaked. How do we go about this?"

I feel _ridiculous_. Ten minutes later Bailey has my car door open and ready as my bridesmaids shield me with umbrellas while I walk. _It's not even raining. _If anyone is getting this on camera then my girlfriends have more than likely been snapped helping me to the car but I can't help that, Christian didn't say anything about getting pictures of anyone else and besides, they aren't in their gowns so what's the harm? "Jen? Ride with me and dad?"

"I thought I was in the car with the girls?" Her hand freezes on the handle as she stands half bent, one leg already safely in the confines of the vehicle ready for my bridesmaids, Lou and Bethany tucked inside away from all the drama.

"I've changed my mind. Would you?"

She's slamming the door shut and skipping towards my car before I can even blink. I don't know what prompted me to ask her to ride with us but something stirred inside me the second she locked Kate's apartment door. Her hand flying out to squeeze my shoulder as I scurried down the path, reassuring me that I was still well hidden. _She calms me. _"Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, let's do this."

* * *

"I know I promised I wouldn't cry but I can't be sure of anything once you're in that dress."

"You're already sniffling, woman." I snort a laugh, unzipping my hoodie and shrugging out of my bra. We're locked away in the bedroom at Wagner House to change, just me and my bridesmaids minus one Mia Grey who is off distracting Heather somewhere. "Kate, you've already _seen _me in it."

"Not like this! This is just…surreal." Kate's eyes widen as she pushes herself off the wall. "Are you stalling?"

"Of course not, I just feel like we're ahead of schedule that's all."

"It's 3:20." Olivia flicks her wrist and checks her watch, arching one perfectly defined brow suspiciously. "You're stalling, Steele."

"It's not that," I breathe. "Its just…when I have this thing on, it will all feel so real."

"That's kind of the point," She smiles softly, her fingers smoothing over the loose hairs at the back of her neck. "It's show time."

It takes just under fifteen minutes with the help of Dana, I'm yanked, pulled and tugged in every which way until all three women step back and cover their mouths with their hands, fighting back the tears. Now, I've seen what I look like in this dress and last time I had to force myself to take it off, so when I shuffle towards the full length mirror and slowly open my eyes I choke on a sob, actually I choke on more than a sob. I'm seconds away from full on bawling.

Never in my life, _never _did I picture it looking like this, looking this beautiful. It's so perfect I can hardly believe it's mine. It's low cut but instead of trashy it's subtle and discreet, the bodice is fully lined and fitted hugging my waist until the skirt flares into a fishtail train, embroidered lace detailing the entire dress. When I say fishtail I don't mean one of those toilet-roll holder type dresses either, oh no, this is so stunning and gorgeous, tacky would be the _last _word I'd use to describe it.

"Oh my god," Kate breathes behind me but I can't even bring myself to turn around, I'm too engrossed with my own reflection to try. My hair is a thick mass of soft curls, each one cascading around the next and creating a veil around my shoulders and breasts with a beautiful clasp pinning one side back. My make-up is just like I'd imagined, soft and subtle without being too light, my eyes a perfect blend of taupe and pale gold. _I look…I _feel _beautiful. _"Ana!"

"So," I turn on the spot and reach for the skirt of my dress, my fingers toying with the lace as I try to gauge their reactions. "Will I do?"

"Do? Christ, Ana, Grey is one lucky fucking _bastard._"

"Shall I fetch Ray?"

"Hang on," She must sense the urgency in my tone because the second I step away from the mirror Dana quietly slides out of the room, flashing me a wink as she clicks the door closed behind her. "Before everyone else comes in, I just want to…I just need to say something."

"Oh no you don't! This isn't the time for soppy shit we need to get you outside."

"I know, but I just wanted to-"

"No, Ana. You don't need to do anything, you don't need to _say _anything."

"Not even-"

"No." They both sing at the same time, grins tugging at the corner of their mouths as our hands automatically link without even needing to think about it.

"Okay I won't, I just want you both to know that I love you and that without you…Well, I don't think this would have been as easy. After Brody I mean."

"He wasn't the one for you, Ana." Kate whisper-spits through gritted teeth, her eyes darkening as her jaw clenches. "He never was."

"I know that now, as soon as Christian Grey walked into my life I knew."

"Oh crap," Olivia breaks the circle and flaps her hands in front of her face, her face flushed and her lips parted as she blinks back tears although one manages to slip through despite her efforts. "I knew you'd make me cry."

"Danielle's still out there, right?"

"I told her at least one of us would cave," I sniff loudly as I wipe the corner of my eye with the tip of my nail. _If I get so much as a tear mark…_ "She's staying until I tell her otherwise."

"Oh, thank fuck."

A timid knock breaks us from our ridiculously emotional moment, each one of our heads whipping to the side as the door gently pushes open. I didn't even need to look to know who it is, I'm surprised he's waited this long to interrupt. "Annie…"

"Ray," Kate chokes. "Just be grateful you aren't wearing mascara."

* * *

Christian's POV

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Well I _was _hoping to see Kate before we get this shit on the road. Why do you look like you're hyperventilating?"

"Don't even think about it," Adjusting my cufflinks I stare my best man down, his hand releasing the door knob as his shoulders slump. "Talk the big boy down, Ell. You're _not _fucking your girlfriend this close to the ceremony so straighten your tie and quit with the fucking pouting."

"Haven't you wondered where the hell Blake is? My money's on him knocking one off with Olivia."

"Shut up."

Anastasia is here in this house somewhere and I can't stop thinking about her. We're so close yet so far apart and the thought of her being here, stripped down to her wedding lingerie ready to change into the most beautiful dress she'll ever wear is driving me fucking crazy. _Maybe if I just tell her I need to talk to her? _No, that will freak her out and she'll think something's wrong. I don't think I've ever been this desperate for something in my entire life.

Heather Manning knocks on the door and tries to give me a briefing but I cut her off with nothing more than a curt nod and a flick of the wrist, I don't need this bitch telling me how to act during my own wedding. Fuck, and I thought _I _was a cold and calculating bastard, this chick is something else entirely, she's treating the biggest day of our lives like it's a fucking business transaction. "Get down the aisle, recite your vows and _don't _waste time crying. Before you know it you'll be married and all of this will be a distant memory."

"Fucking hell, just listening to her voice makes my balls shrivel." Dylan shudders as he stands, buttoning his jacket and shaking his head. "How relieved will you be when you can finally get rid of her demented ass?"

"You have no idea," I grumble. "Ana can't stand her either but I'll give her credit where it's due, she's fucking brilliant at her job."

"It looks incredible out there, man." He slaps my shoulder and throws me a tight wink, telling me to calm the fuck down when I pace the floor for the fifth time in under two minutes. "Honestly when you see her, everything else will fade away. That I can promise you."

"Are these your words of wisdom?"

"Fuck yeah," He scoffs with a grin. "You remember how much of a fucking wreck I was? Megan wasn't any better her end, either."

I do remember but only vaguely, but I think that's mainly due to his choice of best man. Anything involving that son of a bitch has been permanently wiped from my memory and fuck if I'll think about it willingly-think about _him _willingly.

So instead I choose to remember Megan's Maid of Honor, Amelia. Her childhood best friend who practically begged me to fuck her, I'd attended the wedding dateless and she pounced on me like a dog on heat despite already having a boyfriend. I can't deny she wasn't hot because she was, she had a rack the size of fucking Texas and her body was pretty outrageous but her disgusting attempts at flirting turned me off her instantly.

She groped my dick under the table during the rehearsal dinner and hiked up her dress to show me just how wet and _pantyless _she really was. Now, usually I would have been all over her like flies on shit but having her unassuming boyfriend of three years seated right beside me churned my stomach, so instead of sticking around to fight her case she grew bored and moved onto my horn dog of a brother.

They fucked ten minutes after the ceremony in a private bathroom, something Kate doesn't know thank _fuck. _Amelia had helped organise Megan's baby shower with our girlfriends three weeks before Henry was born, imagine _that _shit storm if she'd ever discovered the truth about her boyfriend and the skanky whore who has no trouble dropping her panties for complete strangers?

"You and Ana, you're the real thing, Chris."

"I know that."

"Of course he does," Elliot booms behind me. "Just like he knew he loved her the second he saw her, it sounds fucking ridiculous but I always knew."

"Knew what?"

"That you were in love with her."

"The fuck did you," I snort a laugh and turn on the spot. "Elliot, even I didn't know I was in love with her so how the fuck were you supposed to?"

"Maybe because I have eyes and it was plain to see?"

"You're talking shit."

"I'm talking _truth._"

Even though I'm shaking my head and rolling my eyes I'm grinning like a fool. When I think back to that first night in the restaurant then the club, I can't help but wonder if it _was _obvious. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she looked so fucking hot and beautiful and instead of feeling happy for my best friend for bagging such an incredible woman I felt resentment. I wanted to be the one taking her home, I wanted to hold her and kiss her and…fuck her. I felt both disgusted and conflicted with myself but the second I learnt Brody's intentions towards Ana weren't all that fucking honourable I took what I wanted, took what I _needed. _

And now I'm marrying her. I'm marrying my beautiful, maddening, sweet and gentle girl and suddenly my feet can't carry me fast enough. _Just get me outside. _

"Anastasia's mother?" I ask Taylor the second he returns. His face is hard and his lips are set in a thin line, the poor fucker's been at it since 5am this morning and I doubt my constant grilling is helping but I can't help it, he's my go-to-guy. I almost choked on my coffee when Elliot referred to him as that this morning but the more I think about the more I realise it's true. Without him I don't know where the _fuck _I'd be, I wouldn't even know which way was up.

"Still inside the house. She hasn't made an appearance since last night."

"Good, let's keep it that way. I can't risk the bitch getting within three fucking feet of an airport."

"Sir," He nods. "Surveillance will remained stationed until you give the all clear."

"That would be never," I mock with a scoff. Actually, I could quite easily keep her under supervision 24/7, 365 but if Ana ever found out my life wouldn't be worth living. "Just don't let her slip off anywhere."

The weather this week has been dreary and shit, even though it's mid October in Seattle and it's to be expected Anastasia was still expecting a fucking miracle, but for the first time in over eight days it's bright and warm. Well, warm enough. I smile to myself thinking about my girl who was no doubt awake at the crack of dawn checking the goddamn forecast in the same way she's been doing every morning this week. _So fucking adorable. _

"You look so handsome, Christian." Greeting my mother with a kiss on the cheek she swipes at the lapels of my jacket with the palms of her hands and checks for lint. She'll be looking behind my ears and asking if I've brushed my teeth next.

"You're beautiful, mom." I quickly take her hand and lead her to her seat before she starts crying on me, I've caught her with a fucking handkerchief three times this morning already and I didn't even do anything. "Did you…?"

"She loved it, you did the right thing, baby."

"Did she cry?"

"Of course she did," She chuckles. "I did, too. Were you expecting different?"

"Not for a single second. Where's dad?"

"He'll be out in a moment, he wanted to see Anastasia before she comes out."

"Christ, has _everyone _seen my bride except me?"

"You won't be disappointed, honey, trust me."

_I don't doubt it for a second. _I'd pictured this moment a thousand times over, how I'd feel, how the gardens would look, visualising the love of my life making her descent down the brick walk overlooking Gravelly Lake. I pictured it _all. _But standing here now, greeting a handful of our guests as I make my way through the throng of people leaves me feeling numb. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, no-one ever warned me about this part but I know the second I see my girl emerging around that fucking corner my legs will be sure to buckle beneath me.

"You good?" Elliot clasps my shoulder, puffing his cheeks out. "You look like you're ready to throw up?"

"I'm fine, I'll _be _fine."

"You're shaking."

"I just need to see her," I shake him off and square my shoulders. _What was that about dutch courage? _If Gramps handed me a brandy snifter I doubt I'd say no. The soft strain of the prelude music hums in the background but I can't hear anything other than my fucking heartbeat ringing through my eardrums. "What time is it?"

"She isn't late, bro. You're just nervous, shake it off."

Megan throws me a tiny wave as she takes her seat, cradling a sleeping Henry close to her chest. Both her and Dylan contemplated bringing the baby at all in the worry he'd cause a disturbance during the ceremony but Ana shot them down the second they mentioned leaving him with Megan's mother, she wants him here just as much as I do. He's part of their family which makes him _our _family.

Again, I don't have the faintest idea when I became so fucking pathetic and accepting of children but that's just another side Anastasia brings out of me. _She's so amazing. _Dad comes into view and makes a bee-line straight for me, for a mad moment I think he's about to tell me she's changed her mind and that she doesn't want to marry me, but when he pulls me in for a quick hug with watery eyes and a tender smile I know he's emotional for a completely different reason. "She's stunning, Christian. You're one lucky man."

"Is she okay?"

"She's perfect," He grips my shoulders and shakes me slightly. "Get ready, son, she's on her way."

The following five minutes are somewhat of a blur. The music changes but again it's all background noise, the guests stand but I barely even notice. All I can focus on is the hammering in my chest as Olivia rounds the corner with Jake on her arm, a jubilant Bethany walking in front and looking so fucking cute my throat tightens.

Mia follows with Dylan and when I spot Kate and Blake I force myself to take a deep breath. _She's next. _I feel Elliot's hand on my back, mom winks at me before dabbing her cheek with a tissue and I feel like the air will suffocate me if I inhale any harder. My eyes drop to the floor, my hands clasp together in front of me and when I glance up, the love of my life turns the corner with a proud Ray on her arm.

She hasn't looked up yet and for that I'm thankful because I need more than a fucking second to process the _vision _in front of me. She's breathtaking, that's the only word that springs to mind to describe how beautiful she looks. I can sense how nervous she is, Ray bends to whisper something in her ear and the second he does she raises her chin, her eyes instantly locking with mine.

_That's right, it's just you and me, baby. Focus on me. _

As if she can read my mind, her feet start to move, descending down the steps before slowly carrying her towards me. I close my eyes and force a deep breath, my hands are shaking and my chest feels like it's about to burst but I can't seem to take my eyes off her for longer than a second. _I never want to forget this moment. _I catch Gramps' eye and he nods his head with a wink, this is what he meant at my bachelor party. This here is what I'll remember until I take my last breath and if I thought I knew what I wanted to say, that's all been shot to shit now.

It takes him a brief minute, almost like he's contemplating how to do it but he must snap out of whatever reverie he drifted away to because he lifts his head with a grin, taking his daughter's hand and dropping a kiss to her knuckles before placing her soft, dainty palm in my open one. I don't think I've ever taken hold of something so strongly before in my life, I'm surprised I didn't pull her arm out of the damn socket.

Her arm trembles as she turns to pass her bouquet of flowers to Kate and when she turns to face me, she exhales and smiles that perfect smile, silent communication passing between us as our eyes remain locked together.

_You look so beautiful.  
__I love you.  
__I love you, too. _

Everything else fades into insignificance, all that matters to me is the beautiful woman in front of me, holding onto my hand for dear life and when the time comes to recite our vows I freeze. I thought this would be the separate way around, I thought I'd be the one offering Anastasia comfort when words failed to escape her but instead it's me, I'm the speechless one.

Her hand squeezes mine, lacing our fingers together as her powder-blue orbs cut through my bravado with a single flicker. I completely zoned out when the Reverend began, only when Ray stepped forward with a strong stance and a sharp nod in my direction as he gave me his daughter, his soul reason for living did I jolt back to reality, tearing my gaze away from my bride. _He's giving her to me…_

"Anastasia," I start with a shaky breath and a trembling heart. "Before you, I thought I knew happiness. I thought I had happiness. I've conquered and achieved more than I ever thought possible but the second you came into my life, you made everything else seem mundane and inconsequential." Her bottom lip quivers and her fingers tighten around mine but I don't falter, I _can't _falter.

"Your beauty and your strength astounds me, you bear so much passion and warmth and as each day passes I struggle to remember what life was like without you there beside me. You've shown me what it's like to be loved and you've shown me how to love, something I never thought possible." I hear several snickers in the crowd but instead of taking offence I'm laughing along with them. _Yeah, I used to be a heartless bastard, so what? _"So today as I stand here, in front of our family and in front of our friends, I promise to love and protect you. I vow to hold what's dear to you close to my heart and I promise to cherish you for as long as I shall live. You're my everything, my world, you're my reason for breathing and without you I would be nothing more than an empty shell. I love you with everything I am, baby."

I feel like I could go on for fucking hours, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to profess my love for this incredible woman but the thick tears rolling down her soft cheeks tell me enough is enough, I fear if I continue she'll start to hyperventilate.

"Christian, do you take Anastasia to be your wife, will you pledge to share your life openly with her, to speak the truth to her in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for her, to encourage her fulfilment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?"

"I do."

Ana takes a deep breath, rubs her glossy lips together and smiles bigger than I've ever seen her smile. _She's ready. _"Christian. I haven't had the most conventional start in life, I've battled with demons for as long as I can remember and I've struggled to find peace with myself, I struggled to find peace with anything until you came into my life with your arrogant attitude and your cocky ass mouth."

She purses her lips together and throws the Reverend an apologetic glance as the crowd erupts into a bout of laughter. Something tells me she didn't intend for that to slip through. "You taught me how to love myself, something I needed to do before I could truly love anything or anyone else. You've shown me strength and you've guided me through the dark, even when I thought we'd never see the light again."

_Don't cry, Grey. Don't you dare fucking cry you pathetic asshat. _

"I'm not perfect and I can't promise to be, I'll drive you crazy and I'll push you to your limits but I can promise you this, I can promise you that I'll love you every single say for the rest of our lives. Your happiness is my priority and I vow to protect your heart, something you didn't give me without care or thought. You're it for me Christian Grey, you always have been and you always will be."

I don't give a fuck if it's frowned upon, I lift our conjoined hands to my mouth and press my lips to her knuckles before swiping a salty tear away. She presses her face into my fingers and it takes every ounce of self control I have just to refrain from kissing her. _God, I want to kiss her so much. _

"Anastasia, do you take Christian to be your husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with him, to speak the truth to him in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for him, to encourage his fulfilment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?"

"I do."

_Birds singing. Violins. A fucking choir singing from the rooftops. _Never in my life did I think it would feel like this, hearing those simple words slipping through her plump lips has my legs buckling and my heart pounding like a jack-hammer. _I do. I do. I do. _

Elliot passes the rings forward with watery eyes and when I glance over my shoulder and catch him sniffling back a sob, I shake my head with a quiet laugh, growing even more amused when he mouths _fuck you _before taking a step back.

I'm grinning as I slide Anastasia's band onto her perfectly manicured finger, a beautiful platinum setting adorned with 12 white diamonds, her eyes twinkling when she flexes her hand and beams down at her new permanent fixture. _That's staying there for eternity, baby, so get used to looking at it. _

"Please join hands and repeat after me," The rest of the ceremony is a blur, the Reverend is harping on about something or other and even though I'm sure it's all beautiful and lovely, all I can focus on is the woman in front of me with a giddy giggle as she struggles to remain still. _Declare us married, damn it. _My mother is now full on bawling, even Ray is dashing a tear away with the back of his hand, his eyes never once leaving his daughter. Mia has a tissue covering her face and her body is all but racking with sobs, not one of them thought this moment would ever come but here we are, seconds away from the rest of our lives.

"By the authority vested in me, I pronounce this couple husband and wife."

I don't even wait for the green light, I grasp her beautiful face between my palms and kiss her so hard and deep I'm almost certain I've made my grandma blush. Her hands fly around my neck and the second she breaks contact to breathe a laugh I crush her to my chest and spin her around. _My wife. We're married. _

"You look so beautiful, baby. What did I do to deserve you?"

"You must have been a good boy in a former life," Her thumb swipes at my mouth before leaning in for another kiss, although this times it's much softer and more chaste. "Come on, husband. How about you get me out of here and show your wife off?"

"Fuck that," I growl in her ear, our guests still on their feet and applauding. "How about I get you out of here and make love to you all night long?"

Despite the delicious shudder that runs through her body she takes my hand and kisses my wedding band, her warm breath tickling the cool platinum. "Later, Mr. Grey."

"Mrs. Grey," I breathe almost inaudibly after locking our fingers together and whisking my wife through the crowd, our parents make a grab for us but other than that we're left to escape to a few private moments together before the madness of our wedding reception descends on us. "I can't believe you're mine."

"Well, believe it because it's true."

"Are you happy?" I ask her as I lead her through one of the secluded gardens. There's no Heather, no screeching bridesmaids or crude best men, it's just me alone with my bride. _My wife. _Ana stops and moves in front of me, cradling my face between her soft hands as she brushes our noses together.

"Christian, you have just made me the happiest woman _alive. _I can't…I keep thinking I'll wake up any minute and none of this will be real."

"That won't happen, baby." I want nothing more than to strip her out of this fucking _incredible _dress and cherish every square inch of her beautiful body, I want to show her how much I love her, how _in _love I am with her. But for now I make do with kissing the shit out of her, nibbling on her lower lip and suckling on her tongue until she whimpers. "This is it now, Ana. You and me, forever. You ready for that?"

"I've been ready ever since you made me yours the first time, Christian. I'm _yours._"

"You're mine."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven - Introducing Mr &amp; Mrs Grey.

* * *

Author's Note: I think this is the longest I've ever gone between updates and for that I feel _awful. _My computer decided to die on me, literally die and I've only just received it back. Luckily, I'd saved each chapter to a hard drive in advance so this was just a case of uploading. Thank you _**all **_for being so patient with me. Your commitment to this story means everything!

* * *

Anastasia's POV

Mrs. Grey. Anastasia Rose Grey. Christian's wife.

The words play on a continuous loop, almost like I'm trying to convince myself that I have in fact just married the love of my life, something that's still so surreal to me. I wasn't sure how I'd feel, would I feel different? Would I _look _different? I've had so many women pass on their words of wisdom throughout my engagement but it had been Grace who warned me to ignore every single piece of 'advice' and simply focus on the here and now.

So as I stand beside my husband, the photographer positioning us in various different poses for our solo shots, something he's completely wasting his breath on because we're not even paying any attention, the only word that springs to mind is complete. I feel complete. Christian is mine and I am his, we've always belonged to each other but now it's official. _Husband and wife. _

"Can I get the bridesmaids over here!"

"Jeez, he's not exactly subtle is he?"

"I don't care so long as my pictures look good." I whisper through a smile, a really _big _smile. I can feel Christian's eyes on me as he stands at the side with Dylan and Blake but if I so much as glance in his direction I'll crumble. I'm struggling to be apart from him as it is and it's only been fifteen seconds. "I'm proud of you, Kavanagh."

"You are?"

"I shit myself when you took Blake's arm earlier, dad had to literally hold me back so I couldn't follow you."

"You were that worried, huh?"

"Christian said you were on your best behaviour."

"It wasn't all that difficult," She sighs with a small smile, moving in closer beside me ready for the next shot. "I think I may have misjudged him."

"Oh yeah?"

"I was so focused on Olivia's feelings I didn't even _consider _Blake's, I don't know why it's taken me this long to realise that but I have. I was a total bitch towards him."

"I can't argue with that,"

I shut the hell up when Liv and Mia join us once more, Bethany's little hands wrapped around each of their's as all three of them huddle in for another picture. This goes on for a good fifteen minutes more and by the time we reach the family pictures I have a sore jaw and a smile that just can't quit, it's like it's permanently etched onto my face. "You good, Annie?"

"You know how much I detest stuff like this."

"Embrace it, baby. You're the centre of attention and for once you need to relax and enjoy it, before you know it it'll all be over and done with."

As soon as the photographer wraps up I'm reaching for Christian and pulling him close to me, something he's only to happy to comply with. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to leave him alone, my hands need to be touching him and when they're not I feel lost and disorientated. _Pathetic, Ana. Real pathetic. _

"Are you ready to party, Mrs. Grey?"

"Mmm, say that again?"

"Mrs. Grey." God, if he calls me that during sex tonight I won't last any longer than five minutes. His face splits into a shit eating grin and I can just _feel _the joy radiating from him. "Sounds sexy as fuck, doesn't it?"

"It'll take some getting used to."

"All the more reason for me to keep calling you it then," His tongue slips from his mouth and into mine, probing my lips as he gives me a kiss that's almost a little too indecent considering our parents are less than five feet away. "Fuck, I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

"Taylor's on standby, Ana. He can get us the hell out of here whenever you're ready to leave."

"This is our reception, baby." My palms smooth over the lapels of his custom made tux, the tux I'm really only _now _just noticing. _Fuck, he looks good enough to eat! _"We can't just leave."

"Who says? We can do whatever the fuck we want, _wife, _and right now I want to peel you out of that dress and make love to you until you can't walk." _Well, damn if that doesn't make me throb with liquid fire. _"Come on, baby."

"You're not making this easy."

"Have I ever?"

"You haven't even told me where we're going tonight?"

I say because it's true. Are we going back to Escala? Are we spending the night in a hotel or are we flying straight out of the country for our honeymoon? I don't even know where we're going for said _honeymoon. _I'm pretty much out of the loop, here. Christian taps the side of his nose and throws me a sly wink so in other words, he's not telling me a damn thing. "You'll know soon enough, baby."

"Do I even have any luggage?"

"Already in the car. I've thought of everything, Ana, you don't need to worry."

I'm still hungry for information but fishing for answers with Christian is like getting blood out of a stone so I drop it, taking his outstretched hand and letting him lead me through the grounds instead.

I had my heart set on an outdoor reception, we both did but the chances of having fortunate weather were slim enough to give me a heart attack so we've combined the two. The entire ground floor of Wagner house has been transformed into something I never thought was possible. The room in itself is already stunning but just that little bit _too _traditional for my taste so the walls and ceiling have been adorned with beautiful tulle draping, blending beautifully with the pink and white décor which runs throughout. The tables are dressed with low silver vintage vases spilling with green eucalyptus, pale pink roses and cream hydrangeas, tall fluted votives surrounding each vase. The French doors lead out onto the Wisteria Terrace where a long rustic table sits, the same scheme and centrepieces consistent. Dainty lights are tangled around the vines of the trees and I just know it will look magical after sunset. It looks breathtaking, so full of romance and charm.

I know a lot of people will be expecting something modern and sleek, this _is _Christian Grey's wedding after all but that's not something either of us envisioned. We didn't want cold colours, I instantly struck black and white off the list and the thought of having a dull, lifeless wedding gave me night sweats. No, what we have is perfect. Absolutely _perfect. _

My husband leads me through the throng of applauding guests as soon as we're announced, every single person on their feet and cheering as we make our way to the Bride and Groom table. Heather suggested we have thrones instead of a table but I shot that ridiculous idea out of the water as soon as the words left her mouth, not only was it _stupid _as fuck it also meant we couldn't have our family seated with us and that's not what I wanted. She pouted for five minutes and sneered at every suggestion I made but eventually she got over it. So now we have the longest table known to man as I didn't want separate tables for the bridesmaids and groomsmen either, they're all so special and important to us so Christian and I both agreed they needed to be right up there in the firing line with us.

I drop my flowers into the chair as Christian makes a small welcome speech before we start circling the room. I don't know if we're supposed to stay together or not but Ros drags him towards the bar as soon as the microphone is out of his hand, leaving me to handle his Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jeremy alone.

Now I'd never disrespect Grace's brother, I know how close they are but they're both so…flaky. I'd only met them for the first time last night at the rehearsal dinner and I almost ran way the second his wife took me in her arms and squeezed my cheeks. Jeremy is so unlike Grace I'd wondered if they were actually related, he looks more like Carrick with his salt and pepper hair and chiselled jaw. He's rather attractive but his _crazy _ways spoil him slightly, they don't have any children and as far as I know that's purely out of choice. Apparently their three Chihuahuas are their 'babies'

No lie, that's the word they used. Babies. Like I said, flaky.

"You look simply stunning, Anastasia. " Rachel gushes as her fingers toy with the fabric around my waist. "And you're so tiny, too!"

"Not for long I hope." _Excuse me? _"Do you want children straight away?"

"Umm…we haven't really discussed that yet." _Lie. _I don't care though, our parents don't even know so I'm _definitely _not talking about our baby making plans with the couple who prefer dogs to kids. "One day in the future, yeah, of course we do."

"Well one thing's for sure, honey, you kids will make gorgeous babies." She grins wide, flashing her teeth which have ruby red lipstick smeared across the two front veneers. "Where _is _Christian?"

"Mingling," I take a passing champagne glass and guzzle it with gusto, smiling and trying to remain as ladylike as possible when in reality, all I want to do is rip off these Jimmy Choo's and dance the night away with my friends and gorgeous husband. "Were you comfortable at the hotel?"

"Oh it was wonderful. Gracie told us we could stay at Bellevue but the last thing we wanted to do was impose, we were treated like royalty any-hoo."

"Did you know you the drinks in that snazzy mini-bar aren't free?" Jeremy tips his flute toward me with a sideways glance and I bite my tongue. It's not like they're even footing the bill, Christian is. "Let me tell you, I did _not._"

"You don't mind if I steal my bride away for a few, do you?" Christian steps in beside me, gripping the side of my hip and dropping a kiss to the top of my head. _Oh thank God._

"We were just asking Ana about your plans now that you're married," _No, you were fishing. _"Will you remain at Escala?" _**We **__haven't even discussed that yet. _"Anastasia tells us that you want children soon?" _I didn't exactly say that did I? Talk about twisting my words._

"We haven't even been married an hour yet, give us a chance Unc."

"I say get on the baby making train!" Jeremy booms, slapping Christian's back who actually blushes. Christian Grey blushing, I never thought I'd see the day. "You're not getting any younger, son."

I don't know who made a run for it first but before I know it we're on the other side of the room, greeting our guests with hugs and kisses as we move. "Well, hello, Mrs. Grey." Fran makes a grab for me and I almost choke on my own breath when I spin on the spot to face her.

"Whoa! You look…wow!" She looks breathtaking in a deep plum floor length gown, her make-up is impeccable as ever but she looks so…different. "You've cut your hair!"

"This morning," She shyly bites on her lip as her hand reaches up to smooth over what _was _waist length hair, now it barely touches her shoulders. It's still the same stunning shade of red but she now has bold choppy bangs which makes her face even more beautiful if that's at all possible. "What do you think?"

"It's gorgeous!" My fingers skim the freshly cut ends, styled into an effortless blow out. "What on earth made you cut it?"

"It was time for a change," She sighs. "I only kept it long for my ex, all that 'women with long hair are hot to fuck' bull shit. I've wanted it shorter for as long as I can remember."

"Has Luke seen it yet?"

"Seen it? He was the one who encouraged me to do it he better fucking like it." _Talk of the devil_. I catch her grinning at someone over my shoulder and I don't even need to turn around to see who it is, her smouldering gaze and parted lips give it away instantly. I feel like I'm intruding. "You look so fucking _incredible, _Ana, and you made me cry. I don't do crying."

"I didn't think I'd make it through, either." My throat was burning with unshed tears and my heart felt like it was about to explode as Christian recited his vows, the vows he admitted to winging right there in the moment and I'm so glad he did. I knew he meant every single word because it wasn't something he'd practiced and revised, he didn't research anything tacky over the internet, he meant everything he said to me and nothing could make me feel more loved and adored. "Is Logan here? I haven't seen him yet?"

Fran rolls her eyes and murmurs something behind the rim of her champagne glass. "I swear he's glued to that blow up doll he's fucking, he hasn't left her side all day."

"He invited _her _to my wedding?"

"I was just as shocked as you _believe _me. I mean who does that?" Should I be surprised? Originally we'd invited Logan and Sarah but well, they decided to divorce each other leaving him with a plus one. Who actually wants to attend a wedding alone anyway? Surrounded by couples whilst having love and commitment shoved in your face everywhere you turn. _Talk about rough. _I just need to focus on the fact that he's here because I really thought he'd be a total no show not that I would blame him, watching two people committing themselves to each other for the rest of their lives must have been horrific to sit through. "I don't understand them."

"I thought you were all for it not even five minutes ago?"

"That was before giving her the once over, have you _seen _her face, Ana? Surer than shit her skin would melt right off if she came face to face with a blow torch. I'm not one to judge but _botox queen!" _She sings with a laugh but I can't say I've noticed, I've never even met the chick yet somehow she's wangled an invitation to my wedding. _Weird. _"We all know he's still head over heels in love with his wife."

"Don't even get me started._" _

"I heard she had sex with his brother. His _brother, _how fucked up is that?"

"Fran, we don't know anything for sure. Those are all ugly rumours started by people who have nothing better to do. _Please _don't be one of those people."

"Hey, I'm not. I'm just repeating what I heard, you know what the office can be like." _That I do. _"I know you class him as a friend, Ana and I don't want him questioning you without giving you all the facts first."

"Why would he question _me_?"

"He sees you as your confidant, office spy if you will."

"Office spy?" I choke on my champagne and roll my eyes, the words tasting sour on the tip of my tongue. "Okay first, we're not _that _close and second, I would never run to him every time I hear something stupid. Things could get so awkward and that's the last thing I want."

Understanding flickers in her eyes for a brief second before morphing into something darker, more lustful and it takes less than a millisecond for me to realise it's because Luke Sawyer is still behind me. Her head cocks to the side, her finger circles the rim of her flute and her back arches pushing her chest out. "Is it just me, or does he get fucking hotter every time I see him?"

"No comment."

"Oh come on, Ana!" She guffaws as her hands push into my shoulders, turning me to face the six foot wall of steel that is my bodyguard, looking more than dapper in his customary black and white suit. I'd made it perfectly clear that I wanted the staff to blend in but he still looks like something out of Men in Black. _I guess old habits die hard. _"You may be old and married now but how can you not see it, he's sex on fucking legs!"

"I'm not saying he isn't hot, I'm just saying he's not my type." _I much prefer a copper haired, megalomaniac CEO with a heart solely just for me. _"This conversation is totally inappropriate by the way."

"Did you expect anything less?"

"From you? Not for a second."

I spot my husband across the room, standing with his parents and sipping on a glass of champagne, tipping his head back with a laugh. I don't know how long I gawp at him like a groupie for but he must sense my eyes burning holes into the side of his head because he jerks his chin up and locks gazes with mine, a beautiful grin curling at the corners of his mouth as he throws me a wink that leaves my throat dry and my knees weak.

I want to go to him, I want to kiss him and I want to touch him but my feet refuse to co-operate with my brain. I'm too enamoured with the vision in front of me, my husband. My _beautiful _husband. We've still got an entire night to get through, we have a cake to cut and dinner to eat. We haven't even danced our first dance as a married couple yet and I'm already getting itchy feet, all I want to do is drag Christian away by the scruff of his collar and lock him in an isolated room for the next twenty-four hours. _I wonder if he's hard? _

I take a deep breath and internally berate myself, willing the filthy as fuck thoughts circling through my head to piss off, which proves to be futile the second Fran bumps our shoulders together asking if it would be 'totally inappropriate' to fuck Luke somewhere on the grounds before dinner. Her seductive smirk tells me she's already planning it in her head despite my answer.

"Go for it, I know I would if the roles were reversed."

* * *

Elliot's speech was everything I thought it would be. Crude and filled with humour, yet so unbelievably touching all at the same time, something only the eldest Grey can pull off in the witty, charismatic way he does. Grace and I were both on the verge of breaking down completely and when both brothers stood and embraced I forced the stinging tears back, reaching across the table for Kate's hand when her lower lip started to wobble uncontrollably.

The second Ray stands and clears his throat, tipping his flute toward Christian and I with a reserved smile I close my eyes and count to ten, praying to _God _that I make it through this without crying hysterically.

"I've never been one for big speeches, in fact I'm a man of very few words but no way in hell was I passing up on the opportunity to stand here at my daughter's wedding and tell everyone how…wonderful she is." He glances down at me and winks when he sees me swipe the first tear away, dabbing the corner of my eye with a perfectly folded napkin. "Now, it's no secret that Annie isn't my biological daughter but that doesn't make her any less mine, it never has. I first laid eyes on her when she was just six months old; loud and teething and not afraid to scream the place down."

"I'd never been good with kids but the second I saw her, her chubby little arms reaching for me from the confines of her crib I knew, I just _knew _she was meant to be mine." Two fingers and a thumb curl around my jaw, tugging my head to the side before the most perfect lips merge with mine for a kiss. He knows I'm barely hanging on by a thread so this is his way of keeping me together, reminding me that he's here. "So after a mere four weeks of dating I'd asked Anastasia's mother to marry me, fast and rash I know but nothing had ever felt more natural to me in all my life. I wanted to be a permanent fixture in this perfect little girl's life, I wanted to give her stability and consistency and a chance of having the family life that was so cruelly snatched away from her when her father died."

Dad's voice wobbles and he glances down, his eyes fixating on the bubbles at the bottom of his glass. This is hard for him. Talking about my life before he came into it is hard for him. I don't know if it's because it makes him think about my mother, the life they shared when things were good between them or if it's something else but he always struggles to talk about it, which is why I'm more than stunned that he's standing here so openly in a room full of strangers. "I haven't…I haven't always been able to protect her, there were times where I let her down and left her all alone but I never stopped loving her, I never stopped being her daddy even when I couldn't be there in person."

Jen catches my eye when she whimpers through a sob, her fingers splaying over the base of her throat. I don't let myself linger for too long because if I do I'll break. I hate that he's talking about himself this way, like everything that happened was _his _fault because he wasn't there. He didn't know, nobody knew. Hell, even _I _didn't understand what was happening half the time. _Not until it was too late. _

I reach for my husband's hand and link our fingers together, clutching to him for dear life. I know why he's doing this, he's trying to right all the wrongs from my childhood by laying every single one of them out there. Half the people in this room won't even know what the hell he's talking about, even my in-laws' won't know but that doesn't stop the sympathetic expressions washing over each of their faces, almost like they understand regardless.

"Ana's past should have tainted her, it should have shaped her into a pained and troubled woman but it didn't. Despite all that she went through she made it to the other side, she made it to Christian. Now, I don't relinquish control easily especially where my daughter's concerned, when she was a teenager I vowed to never let another person hurt her again and even when I met my son-in-law I was still somewhat dubious."

Christian snorts a laugh beside me, shaking his head and rubbing a thumb across my knuckles like he understands completely. "He was this wealthy tycoon with the world at his feet, he could have had anything he wanted and more and when my baby girl told me she was falling in love with him it terrified me, _petrified _me in fact and that fear didn't dissipate until I clapped eyes on him for the first time."

"I saw the way he looked at her, like she was the only person in the room and for a father, that's all you want for your children. You want them to be loved and protected, you want that person to worship the ground they walk on through the good times and the bad because that's what love is. It's painful and it's tough, it hurts like hell and it makes you feel like you can conquer the world all at the same time." Dad looks down at me, glassy tears in his eyes as he continues to push through. I want to stand and throw my arms around him but even more than that I want to turn back time and morph into that child who would curl into a ball on his lap while he read to me. I want my daddy just as much as he wants his little girl.

"She's so easy to love even when she's a pain in the ass, she'll push you to your limits before dragging you back over the ledge. She'll honor what's dear to you and she'll support you until you take your last breath, that's just who she is and I couldn't be more proud of her if I tried. Admittedly, it took me a while to accept it but I know Christian will love her forever, he'll love her like she deserves to be loved and with him by her side I have nothing to worry about. He'll protect her now. He'll keep her safe. I _trust _him to keep her safe."

Kate mumbles something over the table about touching up my mascara but I don't hear her, I can't even see her I'm crying that hard. This was the part I'd been dreading all day, damn it was the part I'd been dreading since Christian proposed but now that we're here and in the moment it's so much more emotional than I ever dreamt it would be. If Christian wasn't here beside and holding on to my hand for dear life I'd be on the floor in the fetal position for sure.

"I won't stand here and ramble, we have too much celebrating to do for that but before we do I just want to say…I for one can't wait to see what their future will bring. They've already endured so much during their short time together and it's only made them stronger, I have no doubt in my mind that whatever's destined for them will be wonderful, I'm just so honoured to be able to see them grow together." Ray picks up his champagne once more and holds the flute in the air, exhaling a deep breath and grinning through it. "Everyone please join me in raising a glass to my beautiful daughter, my reason for breathing and her husband. My son. To Mr. and Mrs. Grey."

I'm on my feet within seconds and throwing my arms around my father's neck, trying my damned hardest to smile through the overwhelming sobs that rack my body. Christian doesn't stand straight away, he lets me have this moment with my father alone. He understands. "I love you so much, daddy."

"I love you too, baby. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"They're happy tears I promise, you always make me cry happy tears."

"There's so much more I wanted to say, I just didn't know how many people you've told without…"

"That doesn't matter, none of it matters, dad. What you said-" I stop to choke on a sob, swiping a nail across my tear duct and willing for them to stop falling long enough for me to get more than five words out without feeling like I'm suffocating on my own breath. "You always protected me. You _never _let me down."

"I wasn't there…"

"No." I say more forcefully this time, grateful that everyone is now seated again and chatting amongst themselves, the waiters refilling champagne glasses and clearing away plates ready for desert. "Christian saved me from Brody but _you _saved me from him. You took me away from that hell hole and never made me look back, you _saved _me."

"I'll always protect you, Annie."

I don't say anymore, I don't need to. I simply turn my head and kiss his hand when he palms my cheek before taking a seat beside me once more. We'll talk more later, maybe I'll suggest a joint session with my therapist once Christian and I have returned from our honeymoon? It's something I've always considered but shied away from every time I come close to mentioning it.

We've never truly sat down and thrashed what happened out. I've confided in Jen and I've confided in Christian, Kate knows snippets of information but nothing horrific. I've always been too afraid to bring Morton up around my dad and not because he'd be angry with me, that would never happen, it's because I'm terrified of how he would react if he were to ever hear the ugly truth in all it's raw glory. _Maybe I should talk to Dr. West first? _

"Dance with me, Mrs. Grey?"

His hand reaches for mine, a mischievous smile on his perfectly sculpted lips as he leads me away from our table and onto the middle of the dance floor, a throng of people already forming ready for our first dance together.

"So what did you go with?"

"You didn't get it out of Heather?" He chuckles as he pulls me close, dropping a kiss to the tip of my nose. "I was sure you would."

"I tried but she wouldn't tell me anything and besides, I knew you'd fire her ass if she slipped up and told me."

The music starts to play, the lengthy instrumental coursing through my ear drums, giving me the opportunity to guess the song before the male vocalist begins to croon. His voice like velvet silk. "Listen to the words, baby." Christian whispers into my ear, swaying me from side to slide like I'm made of air.

_When you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again, I will find you darling and I will bring you home. And if you want to cry I am here to dry your eyes and in no time, you'll be fine. _

"It makes me think of you," His warm breath tickles the side of my neck causing my eyes to close on a flutter. "It makes me think of all the shit you've been through, Ana, with and without me. I need you to know you'll never be alone again."

_You know I'd never leave your side, baby. You know me better than that. You think I'd leave you down on your knees, I wouldn't do that. _

Everyone is watching us, I can feel their eyes tracing our every move but I shut them all out. I keep my eyes closed and drop my head to my husband's shoulder, letting him lead me through the dance in the way he always does. _He keeps me upright. _The hand on my lower back moves higher, his fingertips grazing the exposed skin of my back, sending delicious shivers down the length of my spine.

_Oh, when you're cold, I'll be there, hold you tight to me. Oh, when you're low, I'll be there by your side, baby. _

I am so irrevocably in love with this man. He made me feel when I thought I'd never feel again, he came into my life and turned it on it's head without even trying. Now I don't know what I'd ever do without him.

Do all people love this deeply? Does love hurt everyone's heart this much? I miss him even when I'm with him, I've never experienced anything so strong and powerful before in my life and all I know is that I never want to change.

Even when we're old and senile, I want to crave his love and his attention as desperately as I crave it now. I want to always be the only woman he desires, I never want the passion between us to burn out. It's so hot and overpowering it controls every fibre of my being, even when I'm pissed as hell with him I want to touch every square inch of his flesh until he's begging me to stop. _That's just what he does to me. _

Dad was right, we _have _endured so much already. We've battled through intense pain and heartbreak and at one dark moment, we both thought it was lights out for our future together. I could have been snatched away from him before we truly became anything spectacular. But we made it through. We made it and I couldn't feel more complete if I tried, this is it for me. Christian Grey is _it _for me.

_Oh, when you're cold, I'll be there, hold you tight to me. Oh, when you're low, I'll be there by your side, baby.  
_

* * *

Christian's POV

I stand on the sidelines of the floor and watch my wife dance with the other man in her life. She's barely holding it together as they move to _Dance With My Father _and even though my fingers are itching to touch her, itching to comfort her I refrain from doing so until she's back in my arms. She's with Ray now. She needs this moment with him and she needs it alone.

"Your bride is so beautiful, Christian."

My mother joins me, threading her arm through mine and dropping her head to my shoulder. Even with heels on she still can't match my height, she's such a delicate woman. _Angelic. _I nod my head in agreement, my gaze refusing to leave Ana for more than a second. "She really is."

"I'm so proud of you," She whispers after a beat. "You and your brother have always wandered through life so aimlessly, you may be successful but wealth means nothing, honey. I wanted you to find a woman to love. A woman who would love you back just as fiercely."

"Did you think it would never happen for me?"

"Let's be honest," She sighs and lifts her head, looking at me with such intensity I fear her gaze will slice right through me. "You haven't always had the most sensible taste in women, have you? None of them were marriage material." She hakes her head with a grimace. "None of them were _dating _material come to think of it."

"They didn't mean anything to me, mom. I _know _that sounds harsh and I'm not entirely comfortable admitting that to you either, I'm fully aware it makes me sound like a selfish jackass but it's true. They were just there to pass the time with."

"That's not something to be proud of, Christian. Women aren't objects to defile simply for your amusement, that's a disgusting trait to have and you know it."

"I do know. Granted, it took Ana coming into my life to make me see that but I still saw it regardless. I'm not proud of my past but I can't change it, Anastasia knows every ugly thing there is to know and she still loves me despite all of the shit I used to do. She _accepts _me ."

"That's all I want for you, baby. What Ray said in his speech was so on the mark it's terrifying, we only want our kids to be happy, that's all we need to make _us _happy." I place my hand over hers, letting her squeeze my bicep freely. She's silent for a moment too long for my liking which tells me she has something on her mind, something she's stalling on. Something that will either piss me off upset me. "Christian, what Ray said…about Ana,"

_I knew it. _A heavy sigh passes my lips as my mother breaks contact and turns to stand in front of me, effectively acting as a barrier between my wife and I. "Mom,"

"I'm not trying to pry, clearly something happened and Anastasia isn't comfortable with us knowing and that's okay. I just need to know _you're _okay."

"Me? Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you love your girl more than life itself and if something hurts her then it hurts you?"

"It was a long time ago. Ana's dealt with it and she's finally moving forward with her life. We're married now…it's given her the closure she needed to let go and I'm so proud of her," I take my mother's arm and lead her towards the bar, passing her a fresh glass of champagne as she leans against the counter. "Mom, I can't tell you what happened. That's Ana's decision and I'd never betray her trust behind her back like that."

"Christian, you don't need to explain. I wasn't fishing for information, I just saw the way you flinched during Ray's speech. You pulled her as close to you as you could without tugging the poor thing out of her chair. Whatever happened…it's scarred you, _both _of you."

"How I feel is irrelevant, mom. If you knew what she's been through, what she's battled with just to get here today then you'd be in complete awe of her. Just like I am."

"I'm already in awe of her, Christian, don't you see that? Seeing firsthand how happy she's made you, watching you together? Honey, I couldn't wish for a more perfect woman for you and believe me, I've imagined over a hundred and one over the years but Anastasia…she's exceeded every single one of my expectations, mine _and _your father's and we both know how difficult that is to do." Grace covers my hand with hers affectionately and throws a courteous smile to a passing guest. _Ever the hostess. _"I adore her, we all do and if she ever wants to talk or…I don't know confide in me then my door is _always _open, Christian. Does she know that?"

"Mom, she loves you. She hasn't kept this a secret because she wants to it's because she's needed to. It's only to protect herself." Taylor distracts my attention as he makes his way towards us, his eyes speaking a thousand words. I jerk my chin and give him a small nod before leaning forward to kiss my mother's cheek. "It's our turn soon. Wait for me beside the dance floor?"

"Of course, baby."

I find my head of security on the other side of the bar nursing a brandy in one hand and his phone in the other, his thumb scrolling at a rapid pace. "She's at a local bar, drunk out of her mind and throwing herself at anything in pants. She's a fucking wreck."

"Should I be worried?"

"She's telling anyone who'll listen about her 'billionaire' daughter and how she abandoned her without a second thought. Her exact words were and I quote, 'she's too up herself to give a shit about her lowly mother now she's marrying that egotistical fuck head.' She's one tequila shot away from being thrown out on her ass."

"Is she getting on a fucking plane? That's all I care about."

"She doesn't even know where the bathroom is let alone the airport. You don't need to worry, Sir."

"I can't risk her trying to contact Anastasia and as far as I know she still has Katherine Kavanagh's number," The stubborn bitch refused to change her details when Ana did, she threw a petulant strop and pouted for two days straight when Elliot tried to convince her that is was purely for her safety as well as Ana's. She wasn't having _any _of it. "I've already warned Kate about what we're doing but I'm still worried Carla will reach out to her. I need you to confiscate her phone."

"Excuse me, Sir?" Poor fucker looks scared shitless, no doubt picturing the tenacious wrath that is Katherine Kavanagh, all fired up and ready to tear his balls off with her teeth. "Surely she's willing to co-operate? She wouldn't be difficult about this, would she?"

"It's not that I'm worried about. If Carla calls Kate and shoots her mouth off, Kate will get all fucking riled up and fight back, Carla will pull the big guns out and spout disgusting shit about her daughter and Kate…she'll _explode _and before we know it, my wife will know everything and I'll spend my wedding night sleeping on the fucking floor." I screw my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose in desperation. I started this thing to protect Ana and now I'm worried it will all blow up in my face, not that I deserve any fucking less, I _am _lying to the woman I love after all.

"Shall I take her to one side?"

"I don't care how you do it just make it discreet and whatever you do, don't fucking piss her off."

"Duly noted." He nods stiffly. "There's something else you need to know."

"Okay, I don't like the fucking sound of that."

"You won't like hearing this either, then. Ethan Kavanagh was spotted outside the grounds forty-five minutes ago."

"Excuse me?" My heart hammers against my rib cage and my throat constricts to the what feels like the size of a grape, cutting off my air supply. "Why wasn't I informed of this the second you fucking saw him?"

"You were preoccupied with your wife, Sir. I didn't think you'd want Mrs. Grey to learn of his presence."

Well, you got that right." I spit through gritted teeth, my hands balling into clenched fists as the overwhelming urge to punch that slimy little bastard in the teeth courses through my veins. "What happened?"

"It seems the boy and Mrs. Grey's mother share the same love for liquor," He sighs and reaches for his tumbler, resting the weight of his body against the bar. "He was beyond fucked, cheap bourbon in his hand and stumbling towards the gates. Bailey intervened before the paps spotted him thank fuck. He shoved him into the back of the car and forced a bottle of water down his throat."

"Then what?"

"The usual bullshit, confessing his love for Mrs. Grey, marrying you being the biggest mistake of her life and how you'd never be able to make her happy. The fucker even cried."

"I take it he isn't here now?" Taylor shakes his head, dropping his gaze to the Italian leathers on his feet. "Was that all that happened?"

"He was drunk, whined like a little bitch and cried before sobering up and asking Bailey to take him home. He knows he made a colossal mistake by coming here, he _knows _it's too late for him."

"It was always too fucking late for him," I'm hanging on by a thread. A wild inferno is building inside of me and if I wasn't in the middle of my wedding reception with my wife dancing less than twenty feet away from me with her friends, I'd be at that fuck head's apartment with my fist in his face for thinking he could destroy the biggest day of my life. "Are the premises un-marked now?"

"The team are filtering through the grounds and I have Sawyer on the front gate until Bailey returns."

"Good. Let's just keep this fucking shit storm under wraps, I'll tell my wife but not now. Not today."

"You still want me to go ahead with Miss. Kavanagh?"

"More so now," I grumble. "One psycho too many has managed to piss me off today, I'll be _damned _if I let another one do the same thing."

* * *

My mother leaves the dance floor in tears, rushing to the bathroom to fix her make-up and with a single flick of my wrist the DJ changes sets to something more upbeat, something my wife requested as soon as the first dances were done and finished with.

Anastasia circles me from behind, wrapping her arms around my waist and pushing her tits into my back as the sultry beat of _Drake _pumps through the room. The French Doors have been opened and our guests are filtering in and out, swapping flutes of champagne to shots of patron and fruity cocktails. "Is this where the real fun starts?"

"Why, Mrs. Grey," I grip her wrists and pull her in front of me, glancing down at her feet and smirking when I see she's still wearing her wedding shoes. _I'd expected her to ditch those hours ago. _"Has tonight not been fun so far?"

"You _know _it has. Tonight…today, it's all been so perfect, Christian." Her arms loop around my neck as my hands find her sweet ass, it may be buried underneath the most beautiful dress I've ever laid my eyes on but it's still there and ready for the taking. I couldn't give a fuck if our parents' are no doubt watching us somewhere. "I love you, husband."

"And I love you, wife." Her lips glide over mine in a hot kiss, it's wet and it's sensual and the second her tongue slips into my mouth my cock hardens to the point of fucking pain. When was the last time I made love to my wife? The woman I love? Too fucking long for my liking. I'm giving her an hour and then we're getting the hell out of here. I need her and I need her now. "I can't wait to make love to you, tonight."

"Don't do that," She shudders underneath my touch, Goosebumps forming across the bare flesh of her arm.

"Do what?"

"Whisper into my ear like that. It…does things to me."

"You mean like this?" I do it again but this time I let my lips linger, brushing underneath the shell of her ear in the spot that I know drives her wild. I grin like the smug fucker I am when her neck lolls to the side, almost like it's begging for more attention. "You want me don't you?"

"Of course I do, I've been wanting you all day but you can't do this to me yet. Not until we're at…wherever the hell it is your taking me later."

"How about we slope off to the bathroom then? I can get you off before anyone even notices we're gone?"

She throws her head back with a laugh despite the fact that I'm being deadly fucking serious. My balls are beyond the point of swollen and I've got a burning need for my wife, if a quick fuck is all I'm getting until later then I'll fucking take it. "That's not happening, but I _do _need to use the bathroom. Too much champagne."

"I'll go with you."

"So you can seduce me?" She arches a brow and cocks her head to the side, a knowing little grin at the corner of her mouth as she stares right through me.

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"Not in the slightest, baby, but it's _still _not happening."

"You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Grey."

"I learnt from the best," With a seductive as fuck wink she turns on the spot and takes my hand, leading me across the dance floor, bypassing my horn dog brother as he grinds his dick against her best friend's ass. The restrooms are literally adjacent to the central dining room but my bride is determined to take the long way round, circling the house as she breathes in a lungful of air and for the first time tonight she complains about her sore feet, leaning against the wall and hiking her dress up so she can press her thumbs into her ankle.

"Fuck, baby." I'm a second away from craning my head back and closing my eyes but I can't quite manage it, my greedy eyes wanting more as she exposes her bare legs slightly, her creamy skin begging for my touch. "What the _fuck _are you wearing underneath that dress?"

For the past eight weeks I've envisioned undressing my wife on our wedding night a thousand times over and more, I've pictured all kinds of filthy lingerie falling to the floor as she bares herself to me but looking at her now, noting that her legs aren't dressed in stockings like I'd expected them to be I'm starting to wonder if she's actually fucking naked under that gown. I _know _she's wearing a garter, I'd overheard Mia telling my mother as much after they'd spent the afternoon 'shoe' shopping but is that _all _she's wearing?

This dress doesn't constitute a bra, I can tell by how fucking hot and backless it is so what else is there? _Holy fuck. _Is she just wearing panties? A thong? A g-string? A g-string _and _a garter? My cock throbs and I literally fight the urge to palm myself over my pants, said urge only getting stronger when Ana tips her head back and moans, involuntarily biting on her lip when she slips her Jimmy Choo off for a few mere seconds.

"You don't get to find out, yet? Patience. Mr. Grey."

It takes one sharp lunge and a truckload of willpower but before the words have even left her mouth I have her pinned against the wall with my hips, flat palms caging her in. I could just slide my hand underneath her dress and find out for myself, I _could _force her legs around my waist and fuck her brains out but I don't. I thought the idea of stockings and suspenders was the hottest thing imaginable but somehow - somehow _this _is so much more tantalising. "Are you toying with me?"

"Would I do that to you?"

"Oh I think you would, and I think you are. You're being a very naughty wife."

"You're the one with the hard on, baby. I think you have that wrong way around," Her breath is warm and sweet on my lips, teasing me for a taste. One tilt of the head and our mouths would be joined together, sliding over each other's wet… "I still need to pee."

"And there I was thinking peeing was a code for something else,"

Her palms push into my chest, jerking me away from her lithe little body with an infectious giggle as she smoothes a hand over her stomach, pushing herself off the wall. "You're a bad, _bad _boy."

"You're the one who wanted a detour, what's a guy supposed to think?"

"I just wanted quiet time with you," She snuggles into my side as we walk, my arm locking around her neck in a loose yet possessive grip. "I feel like I've hardly seen you even though it's _our _wedding. I swear, if I have to dodge the 'how did you two kids meet' bullet one more time I'll drown myself in that lake."

"You're dodging it?"

"You're _not_?"

"Baby, I know it's not the most conventional of stories, or the most honest come to think of it but we can't change it. It was what it was, you're not ashamed are you?"

Her beautiful face tilts to the side, leaving the crook of my neck as she purses her lips together and slides her fingers through mine, the side of her cheek brushing against my knuckles. "Of course I'm not, I could never be ashamed of how we started, you know that. It just doesn't _sound _all that great when you say it out loud."

She's right. The basis of our relationship has never been made public knowledge, we don't do tell-all interviews and we don't have loose-lipped 'sources'. No-one knows about our past other than the people closest to us but even it was plastered all over the media, I have so many relatives here tonight who don't even know what fucking twitter is I highly doubt they'd concern themselves with a gossip rag to discover the truth. "Just tell them the truth. We met through mutual friends."

"_One _mutual friend to be precise."

"Is this really bothering you?"

She excuses herself to use the bathroom, leaving me to ponder her answer whilst leant against the wall beside the door like some sort of pervert. My fingers are itching to unbutton my dress shirt but I refrain, knowing full well my mother would kill me if I walked back inside that room half dressed.

My wife returns a short ten minutes later despite her absence feeling like fucking hours, her lipstick is fresh and I have no damn idea how that happened seeing as she doesn't have a purse with her. _Does she have a fucking make-up artist hiding out in the bathroom? _"To answer your question, no it doesn't bother me. I just don't want your family thinking I'm a…hussy."

"Baby, they don't and even if they did? So fucking what? You _do _realise half the people in that room have enough baggage to qualify for an episode of Oprah?"

"Well, if that's true then I'm right there with them."

I can't help wondering if my Uncle Jeremy has gotten to her again, his insensitive comments about starting a family earlier didn't go unnoticed and unfortunately, he _does _know the whole Brody story, it more than pisses me off but he's my mom's brother and even though he's an interfering bastard they're as close as two siblings possibly can be.

The way in which we started doesn't shame her, I know that much, I've _always _known that much so I can only presume this is down to someone making a derogative comment somewhere down the line tonight. It's made her edgy and it's made her cautious, my girl is beyond apprehensive when it comes to saying the wrong thing thinking it will embarrass me or paint me in a bad light, she couldn't be more wrong if she tried. _Nothing she does could embarrass me. _

I need to distract her. The music from our reception is faint and as we round the corner of Wagner House hand in hand the terrace comes back into view. Now that it's darker you can clearly see the lights and the flames of the candles flickering in the distance but instead of focusing on how fucking beautiful it is, I'm too enamoured with my wife and how lost she now looks. _Something I really didn't want to happen today. _"Did you like the necklace?"

Her face jolts in my direction so hard and fast I'm surprised she doesn't wince in pain, her guileless gaze welling with stinging tears. She doesn't cry, she doesn't let a single tear fall but somehow that's worse. It's almost like she can't cry for me. "I wanted to wear it today," She whispers through a shaky breath. "I love it so much, Christian. I…I still can't believe you did that."

"Why?"

"Because it's your mother's, because it's _yours. _Why did you gift it to me?"

The words lodge in my throat, desperate to escape but they can't. They _won't._ What do I tell her? I needed her to have it because the thought of it locked away in my safe kept me awake at night? I couldn't stomach the thought of losing something so precious to me so I gave it to the one person I'd have in my life forever? Fuck, even _I'm _struggling to understand why I gave it to her. All I know is, my birth mother meant everything to me. She had only been the centre of my universe for a short time but she was still that, the centre of _my _universe.

When she left me I hated everything and everyone, I spent the first fifteen years of my life jaded and angry, angry at the world for taking her away from me and angry with _her _for letting it. Anastasia made all the shit fade away, Grace rescued me from a dark and dangerous path but Ana - Ana gave my heart back to me piece by piece, one by one. How could I _not _give it to her?

"It doesn't matter why, all that matters is that you have it now. It's yours."

"Does it upset you that I'm not wearing it?"

"It would upset me more if you were," My fingers trace her collarbone absentmindedly, grazing the base of her throat where the pearl would have laid if she wore it. "I know you'll wear it one day, I'm prepared for that it's just…not today. I don't think I'd be able to handle that today."

"That's why I didn't," She breathes, taking a step closer and curling her fingers around my wrist as she pulls my hand away from her neck. "My gut instinct told me that so I gave it to Sawyer, I didn't want to hurt you unnecessarily."

"He still has it?"

"I want it back before we leave though. I wont wear it…I just want it close to me, close to _us." _

I need to get her out of here now. I've been a patient man, I was ready to drag her out of here as soon as we exchanged the rings, now I'm borderline desperate and if I don't have her all to myself in the next ten minutes I'll fucking combust. "Okay, it's time to leave."

"But we haven't-"

"I don't _care," _Taking her face between my hands, I brush my lips over hers and nibble at the corner of her mouth, something I know revs her up like fucking crazy. "I've shared you all day long and I've had enough. Go find Ray," Another kiss. "Say your goodbyes, Mrs. Grey."

* * *

"So we're _not _going to the airport?"

She drops her head against the leather head rest, tilting her face towards me and smiling softly. "I'd thought about it." I admit. "But then I had a much better idea."

"Oh yeah? _Now _I'm intrigued."

I'd considered blind folding her but I knew she'd never take the bait. I've kept her in the dark for so long now and another thirty minutes of secrecy would have been too much to bear. Besides, I want to see the look on her face when she realises where I'm taking her. Where we'll spend our first night together as a married couple.

Our guests waved us off with smiles and tears, Ray holding onto Anastasia for longer than expected when he came to the realisation that I'm taking his baby girl out of the country for three long weeks, something that hasn't happened since Paris. She cried again, harder this time but it was nothing compared to my mother, imitating a damn orangutan as she locked her arms around my neck and _refused _to let me go. "Call me as soon as you land in wherever the hell it is you're going. _Promise _me Christian Grey?" I'd felt like a kid being chastised, climbing into the car with my tail between my legs and a forced smile painted across my mouth simply to appease Grace.

Ana hunted Sawyer down like a hound, determined to retrieve the necklace before leaving. I watched as her fingers toyed with the tiny box, grazing the soft velvet and even though I thought she was sure to bring it with us, relief washed over me when she discreetly passed it to Taylor before sliding into the car before me. _That's for another time._

"What the…" Her voice falters slightly as her face jerks to the right, gazing out of the window when Taylor brings the car to a smooth halt. I wait for him to open my door first, taking the next five precious seconds to appreciate the stunned expression spreading across my wife's face. "We're…we're staying here?"

I don't say a word, striding around the vehicle as quickly as I can instead without looking like an over-excited idiot. She's speechless when I take her hand and lead her through the lobby and that doesn't change the second we're inside the elevator either, whisking us towards our floor. "Are you okay, baby?"

My thumbs brush across her knuckles almost rhythmically, willing my touch to soothe away any apprehension she might be feeling right now. It was always a rink bringing her back here tonight, a really big _fucking_ risk. The Fairmont holds so many memories for us and not _all _good, in fact, there's only one memory that burns strong even now. Through all the shit that we went through; Evie. Brody. Macy. _One _memory never leaves and I pray to fucking God that it never does.

Leaving the party early, Ana coming to my room, hurling abuse at me for 'parading that slut' in front of her like she meant nothing. The kiss. Our _second _kiss. Tearing each other's clothes off. The sex. Fucking her brains out. Making love to her. The start of _us. _

"It's just surreal, being back here after all this time. It's a strange feeling."

"Good strange or bad strange?

It takes her all of three seconds to realise where I'm taking her. Despite her brows furrowing in confusion when we stepped out of the elevator, a bright smile curled at the corners of her perfect mouth as the Cascade Suite came into view. _Our Suite. _"Good strange. Definitely good strange."

I haven't been here since that night. It's almost like I've avoided the place and until this second, right here and right now, I haven't been able to figure out why.

The Ana that stormed into my room last time, all pissed off and hot as fuck is a far cry from the Ana now. She's still as beautiful, more so in fact because now I know what's underneath, I know the secrets she bares and I know what makes her tick. I know _her. _She was the woman I thought I'd never get. I thought I didn't deserve her and in many ways I didn't, I still don't in fact but instead of pining for my best friends' girl, drinking my body weight in bourbon before a fiery tumble of brunette waves and a perfect body stumbled into my room, I'm silently watching my wife from the doorway as her fingertips graze the furniture.

_My wife. _

"It still looks exactly the same,"

"You thought it wouldn't?"

"No, I knew it would it's just…I guess I hardly paid much attention the last time we were here." _Because of all the sex, baby. All the raw, carnal, back clawing sex… _"How long have you been planning this?"

I try to answer her but my attempts are futile, all I can focus on is the beautiful woman standing in front of me still wearing her wedding dress. The dress she married me in. Her eyes search mine for the longest time, almost like she's trying to climb into my mind but she can't, just like I can't open my mouth to speak.

I don't know how it happened but before I know it I have her in my arms, threading my fingers into the back of her head as my lips claim hers for the first time in hours. _Fucking hours. _My self restraint breaks piece by piece and when she whimpers into my mouth, her tiny hands fisting at the lapels of my jacket I almost crumble. I want to bend her over this couch and fuck her until she can no longer walk, I want to palm her tits and grip her sweaty hips, I want to fucking _ravish her _but I can't.

I can't let it happen like that, I won't let it happen like that so I wordlessly take her hand and lead her towards the master bedroom. I can hear her breathing heavily behind me, her fingers curling around mine in a death grip until the door quietly clicks closed.

This is where our lives' changed forever. We crossed a line that shouldn't have been crossed but despite how wrong it was, it was so fucking right. Nothing had ever _felt _more right in my life. "You're trembling,"

"I'm fine. It's just so…" Ana closes her eyes for a brief second and when they re-open, they're dark and heavy, dragging me towards her with nothing more than a flicker of her lashes. Her hands cup my cheeks as she takes a step forward, crushing our mouth's together once more before pulling away, peppering feather-soft kisses across the length of my jaw line. "Make love to me, Christian."

The last time we were in this room it was hot and heavy, clothes torn and flying in every direction, lips glued together until we were fighting for breath. I couldn't get enough of her. She was an addiction, _my _addiction and I knew that after one taste, one taste of the woman I'd fallen illicitly in love with I'd be fucking screwed.

But there's nothing illicit about this. We're not sneaking around, petrified of hurting the people we care about most in the world, we're not being deceitful. No, this time it's so different.

Deft fingers reach for my shirt, slipping the buttons undone one by one as I caress her arms and her back, I graze every inch of skin I can find and when that's not enough I tell her to turn around, not in the least bit surprised when I hear my voice waver and crack. "You are so beautiful,"

"Christian…" Her neck lolls to the side when my lips make contact with the bare skin on her shoulder blade, my tongue gliding across the soft flesh there. "I need you,"

"And you'll have me, baby." It takes nothing more than three gentle tugs for her dress to slide from her perfect body, pooling at her feet and when she gracefully steps out and over, I almost fall the _fuck _over. "Ana…"

I was right about one thing, she _was _practically naked under that gown but instead of a g-string it's something so much more fucking delicious. My wife slowly turns, her hands unintentionally seducing me as her fingers graze the meat of her thigh. Her beautiful tits are naked and perfect, erect nipples and creamy flesh. She's wearing _nothing _except lace panties, sheer with lace trim.

_She's so fucking edible. _

"You take my breath away, Anastasia." She places her hand in my outstretched palm, letting me tug her towards the bed. _Our bed. _"Sometimes, I think back to that night," She doesn't hesitate in stretching her body out when I gently push her shoulders, the bed sheets dull in comparison to her creamy skin. "How perfect you were, how beautiful,"

"Christian,"

"Shhh," I know she wants me naked but right now, I'm too enamoured with her to care. My tongue flicks her nipple before I wrap the tight bud around my lips, her back arches and her legs part and it only encourages me further. "You tasted so sweet, you taste even better now."

"Stop teasing me…"

I want nothing more than to spread her legs and dive between her thighs, letting her cum coat my tongue as I lap her up like a fucking kitten. I want to be selfish, I want to take what's mine and only mine but this isn't about me. We're married now. She must be _ravenous. _"Is this what you want?"

Although I've been tender with my wife, I'm nothing of the sort with myself as I tear my shirt out of my pants and practically rip the useless as fuck fabric from my chest. Her hand finds my stiff erection through my boxers when I'm almost there, she's impatient and needy and I fucking _love _it. She needs to feel me as much as I need to feel her. It's addictive for the both of us. "No foreplay, baby." She gasps, thrusting her tongue inside my mouth with a sharp stab. "I just want you inside me. Please?"

"I won't last…Ana, once I'm I inside you this will all be over."

"I don't care," Her hands clamp behind my neck and her legs lock around my lower back, pinning me to her body and when she lifts her pelvis and makes contact with my throbbing cock my eyes roll into the back of my head with a pained groan. "I don't care if it's over within ten damn seconds I want _you. _We have a lifetime to savour each other, right?"

That's. All. I. Fucking. Need.

I palm the side of her neck and impale her with one single sharp thrust, her scream of ecstasy fuels my hunger tenfold and even when I'm buried inside her to the hilt it's still not enough. I'm grunting into her mouth like the savage I am as our hips grind together, we're as close as two people possibly can be. A sheen of sweat forms across our skin and nothing has ever tasted more erotic, more carnal. "You feel so good, baby. So fucking good."

"I've needed you all day," Relinquishing the hold she has on my ass, Ana lets go and grips the sheets beneath her, using them for leverage as she pumps her hips to meet mine, giving just as good as she fucking gets. I wanted this to be slow and tender but my need for this woman has once again taken control, she's thrown me down and stripped me bare and even though the notion still terrifies me, it turns me on even more.

"You're mine, tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours," She chokes, fighting for breath. She's close. I can feel it. Her feet dig in to my back harder and her nails scratch along the side of my bicep, it's almost like she's holding on to her orgasm, too afraid to let it go but _fuck _if that's happening. "Baby,"

"Let it go, Ana." I spit, my control rapidly slipping to the point of no return. "I need you to let go."

"I don't…I don't want this to end,"

"A lifetime, remember?" Her eyes fly open, liquid heat circling her orbs as she breathes in a lungful of air. She's so hot and tight I can barely take it, as soon as she comes it's game over. Slowing my pace right down, I pause inside of her and lean down so we're face to face. Her neck automatically rocks to the side, the only invitation I need for my lips to suckles at the skin of her throat. "Come on, baby. Give it to me."

I'm no longer pushing my cock into her hot, wet heat but somehow, somehow at the contact _alone_ she detonates. Shaking and shuddering beneath me as her climax rips through her, her lip sinks into her teeth and her head tips back, pressing into the pillow beneath her.

"I love watching you come, watching you give yourself to me."

Feeling like I've regained some much needed control, I slowly pick up the pace once more, making each thrust sharper until I'm hammering my hips against hers like a savaged beast. Her walls are contracting the fuck out of my cock but it isn't until my wife tilts her face towards mine and licks the side of my neck that I lose it, and when I say I lose it, I fucking _lose _it.

"I can feel you," Her breath tickles my ear lobe, caressing my skin while my climax violently takes hold. Scorching heat surges through me from head to toe, my head drops to Ana's shoulder and despite her beautiful lips whispering sweet nothings I can't hear a fucking thing. I'm fully aware that I almost blacked out on my wife during sex but I'm too limp to even give a shit. "I love you, Christian Grey."

Tomorrow, we leave Seattle for our honeymoon and I can't fucking _wait. _Ana will be mine and mine alone for three whole weeks. I won't need to share her with Kate, Olivia or even Ray, we won't have an apartment full of fucking staff and I can finally make love to my life without cameras or prying eyes and ears.

But for now it's still just us. For tonight I can hold wife in my arms and bury myself inside of her as many times as I want because she's mine. She's finally _mine.  
_

* * *

_Ana and Christian's first dance; Sade - 'By your side'  
Ana's dance with Ray; Luther Vandross - 'Dance with my father'_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve - Sunnier Climes**

* * *

Christian's POV

"So, do you have anything you want to tell me?" We're seated on the jet minutes away from depart, waiting for the final pre-flight checks to be carried out. Ana kicks her bare feet up onto my lap and wiggles both her toes and her eyebrows, indicating that she wants a foot rub from your's truly. "You're too cute to be dumb, Grey," Reaching for her freshly made cappuccino she blows on the steam and licks her bottom lip before taking a sip. "Kate called this morning."

Kate. Katherine. Kate _fucking _Kavanagh. Of course she called her, no doubt to rat me out and stir the shit. She's a real peach like that.

"And before you start huffing and rolling your eyes, she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. You're pretty easy to read, you know?"

"Meaning what?" I dig my thumb into the sole of her foot, eliciting such a throaty moan from my wife it makes my cock twitch. "I'm not following."

"Don't freak out, I'm not mad okay? I knew you'd pull something like that with my mother, Christian. You've made it perfectly clear that you don't trust her."

"Of course I don't fucking trust her, Ana. She's nothing but a waste of oxygen and I know that's harsh, she's still your mom and I shouldn't talk about her like that but it's true. Even _you _know that's true."

"I do," She sighs. "I've tried so hard over the years to include her in my life but nothing was ever good enough for her. Not until I met _you,_" She rolls her eyes and braces her elbow against the window, resting her head in her open palm. "Apparently your daughter falling in love with a billionaire is enough to make any mother squeal with joy."

"I don't want you thinking about her, baby." I gently lift her foot to my mouth and press a kiss to her big toe, resisting the urge to pull it into my mouth for a suck. "I fully intended to tell you everything, I just wanted to get you out of the damn country before dropping such a shit bomb."

""Well, no time like the present." _In other words, tell me now before I cut your fucking balls off. _

"Okay," I huff. "I flew Fuller out to Georgia on Thursday night-"

"Who's Fuller?" She cuts me off mid sentence.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never heard of him."

"Baby. Taylor has over forty guys on his team. Are you expecting a list of individual names and addresses or something?" She wriggles her little toes again, frowning when my fingers momentarily stop their kneading ministrations.

"_Forty? _Christian, that's ridiculous."

"This time next year it'll be double," At that she scoffs and throws her head forward, quickly gathering her hair at the crown in a messy knot and securing with a thin tie. She's refusing to properly dress until she knows where we're going, so for now she's sticking with a pair of black leggings and a sweater that flaunts her taut stomach. If she stayed like this I'd die a happy fucking man. "We're married now, and _hopefully_ it won't just be the two of us for much longer."

I throw her a wink and she smiles coyly, swapping her feet over once she's satisfied with the amount of attention it's received. "I'm hoping so, too."

"It was bad enough before, but now I have you. Ana, we're already tipped to be the next power couple and your safety isn't something I fuck around with, you know this. Hell, I'm even concerned for _my _safety."

I visibly flinch as the term 'power couple' leaves my mouth, remembering the morning after Ana's birthday last month. We'd spent the night at my parents' and after a late brunch, Mia flew down the stairs with her tablet in her hand like a woman possessed, pulling up one of those trashy gossip pages she insists on wasting her fucking time with. A picture of Ana and I had been sprawled across the top of the page, a lengthy article below describing how 'the nation' loves us. It went on to list all the high points of my career, dubbing my girl as a woman men could only wish to marry. _Well, they got that bit fucking right. _They'd even described us as the next _Brangelina. _

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Ana laughed it off but I couldn't quite bring myself to see the funny side. This is just the fucking start of it and if it were me and me alone I wouldn't give a fuck, but it's not. I have this beautiful, delicate woman to protect and the thought of being the next…Brangelina or whatever the hell they're called terrifies me. They're A-List. I don't _want _my wife and I to be fucking A-List.

"That's all bullshit, Christian. They'll only print that stuff until they get bored, before you know it they'll have moved onto the next hot new couple and leave us alone."

"Christasia," I deadpan. "That's _actually _what they're calling us, Ana. Fucking Christasia." She throws her head back with a laugh, gripping the arm rest slightly when the engine suddenly roars to life. "It's _disgusting._"

"It's the twenty-first century, baby. People go crazy for 'power couples.', it doesn't mean anything it's just celebrity gossip." Her ring finger circles the rim of her coffee cup for a brief second. "I happen to like Christasia, actually."

"Please tell me you're joking,"

"Of course I am," She chortles. "It sounds like a damn unicorn or something." Pulling her feet away from me completely, she tucks her legs underneath her butt and folds her arms across her chest the best she can from the confines of her seatbelt. "We've totally sidetracked, by the way."

"So we have," I smirk with a sigh, leaning my head back and rolling my tongue around my mouth before continuing. "Fuller landed in Georgia, and he's been tailing your mother ever since. I needed to make sure she wouldn't set foot near our wedding, baby."

"Tailing her how? Has he literally been following her everywhere she goes?"

"Pretty much," I shrug with an air of nonchalance. _No point in feeding her bullshit. _"Do you want to know what he saw?"

"I don't know, do I?"

"I thought nothing could shock you when it comes to her?"

"It doesn't," Shuffling in her seat, she closes her eyes and puffs her cheeks out as the wheels leave the tarmac of the runway. In less than ten minutes she'll be demanding answers, I'm still keeping our destination top secret and knowing her as well as I do, she's reached boiling point. "Go on,"

"Five different men entered her apartment over the course of three days. Some stayed the night, some left after an hour or so but I think we _both _know what they were there for." I eye my wife carefully, expecting a scoff of disgust but there's nothing there. Not one single flicker of emotion in sight. "She meets them in bars, drinks herself into oblivion and then drags them back to her apartment. I don't think she even knows what she's doing."

"Don't make excuses for her, Christian." She mutters coldly. "It's nothing new, she's _always _been like this even when she was married to my dad. That's how…that's how she met _him_. Her morals are loose and her knickers are even looser, it's just the way she is."

"The night before our wedding," I continue. "She was that wrecked she all but passed out in the street before a 'friend' picked her up and carried her towards a cab." Again, there's nothing there. _Nothing. _"Baby, you do know I never would have left her there, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I had hourly updates, I knew what was happening when it was happening. I made it perfectly clear that I didn't want her to come to any harm under no circumstances. Fuller would have stepped in and taken her to the hospital if he'd needed to. I don't want you thinking I'd allow her to rot in a filthy fucking gutter."

"It's nothing she doesn't deserve," Her voice is hard and void of any emotion. I should be shocked but I'm not, my wife has tried to love this woman every day of her life. She even tried to forgive her and it's all been thrown back in her face. She's tired of loving her. "She's been through worse."

"As soon as I knew she wasn't a threat, I told him to come back. I just…I couldn't risk her getting on a plane, Ana."

"That would actually warrant her giving a shit, something she doesn't so you didn't need to worry, baby. I'm not exactly high on her list of priorities."

"I'm sorry for keeping it from you,"

"Are you?" A tiny smirk starts to appear at the corner of her mouth and my heart literally sings. That moment right there was what I wanted to avoid, that desolate look on her face whenever she thinks about that disgusting bitch kills me every time.

"I hate keeping things from you, baby. It might not seem that way all the time but it's true."

"Good," She grins, reaching across the table for the platter of fruit and pastries, tearing off a piece of croissant and popping it into her mouth. "Speaking of, are you going to tell me where the hell we're going now?"

_Bingo. _

"Where do you _think _we're going?"

"Oh, don't play that game! I've spent the last eight damn weeks trying to figure it out and you know what I've discovered? Nothing. Fucking _nada. _I even resorted to sifting through your desk like a lunatic." I'm grinning like the smug bastard I am, thoroughly satisfied that she hasn't been able to guess. Not that she could, I haven't dropped any hints. That I'm sure of. "Christian!"

"Okay, okay." I placate her with a laugh, holding my hands up in defence ready to shield my face with this morning's newspaper when she narrows her eyes and starts tapping her fingernails against the table. "But before I tell you, what would be your perfect destination?"

She ponders over my question for several seconds, her face glittering with excitement. She looks so young and carefree. Minimal make-up, messy hair and casual clothes. Her skin soft, supple and fresh from the shower. If I could bottle her like this, all innocent and dainty I would. Despite her being a twenty-four year old woman, wife to one of America's wealthiest moguls, she's still so tender and beautiful to me. So _pure. _

On the other hand she's a complete and utter fucking minx, and that's coming from me, resident playboy with enough stamina to power a horse. I used to give _Elliot _a fucking run for his money. But Anastasia Grey is a force to be reckoned with. After making love for the first time as husband and wife last night, I'd ordered us room service before dragging my bride into the shower. I had still been horny as fuck but for the first time since laying eyes on her I didn't have sex on my mind, I wanted to cherish her and graze every inch of her beautiful skin, I wanted to soap her up and dry her off before carrying her back to bed.

But my wife seemed to have other ideas. Pushing me against the wall she dropped to her knees with a devilish smirk and engulfed her lips around my cock, sucking the shit out of me and making me blow under less than three minutes. I was a quivering fucking wreck, holding the back of her head and pushing her into my groin whilst shuddering through my climax, grunting her name and spouting every profanity under the sun.

She stood with a grin and wiped the corners of her mouth, turning to lather her hair with shampoo before leaving me alone in the shower, still propped against the cool tiles and gasping for air. Of course, me being me I couldn't leave it at that. I tore the towel away from her body as she rubbed her tits dry and tossed her onto the bed like a rag doll. _Fucked her like a rag doll_.

Nails raked across my back and legs were flung over my shoulders. I licked, sucked and nipped every crevice of her delectable body, only feeling satisfied when she came so hard she balled her fists hard against my chest and pushed me out of her completely. _Fucking amazing. _

"If I had to choose," Her voice brings me back to the here and now, breaking me from my dirty little reverie. "Somewhere hot and exotic but with culture, I'd want a beach but not an isolated one, _although _if I could sunbathe topless that would be awesome," She winks like the devil woman she is, gnawing on her lower lip and giggling when she clocks my stunned expression. "Somewhere with cute little restaurants and quaint villages. I'd want us to take a long boat ride, just the two of us, where we'd do nothing except spend time together. Preferably naked."

I'm brilliant. I'm so fucking brilliant it _pains _me. I don't even bother trying to hide it, I'm smug and I'm damn proud of it. Now, I've always liked to think that I know my woman pretty well, know what makes her tick, know what riles her up, but planning this honeymoon was fucking tougher than shit. I must have considered over a _hundred _destinations, researched a thousand villas and hotels before finding the perfect place. _Ana's _perfect place.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"I'm smiling?"

"Like a _fool_,"

"I'm just thinking about how much I love you, Anastasia Grey."

Her head cocks to the side, a slow burning smile spreads across her beautiful face before she leans forward; bracing her elbows against the table separating us and quickly presses her mouth against mine, taking my breath away. "Nice deflection, now _tell _me."

"Greece," I mutter without another moment's hesitation. "We're going to Greece."

Her eyes widen as she flops back into her seat, her mouth opening and closing at least three times before she manages to find words, _any _words. I start to fucking panic, thinking the worse. _Doesn't she want to go there? What if she hates it? Why didn't you just fucking __**ask **__her what she wanted, where she wanted to go? Fuckhead. _My palms are clammy and damp, swiping across the denim of my jeans but the squeal that erupts from her throat has me jumping out of my damn skin. _Is that a happy squeal? _

"Greece! We're going to Greece?" I slowly nod my head, blinking in surprise when she leaps up out of her seat and jumps into my lap, straddling my waist and locking her arms around my neck. "Are you being _serious _right now?"

"Baby, your seatbelt.,"

"Like I care about that!" She bounces up and down like a small excitable child, slowly waking my dick and stirring the big guy to life. "Are you shitting me? You are aren't you?"

Flattening my palms against the small of her back, I pull her flush against me and throw my head back with a laugh, relieved to fuck that she doesn't hate the idea, I was hoping and praying to _God _she would love it. "I'm not I promise. We have three weeks of Greece, baby. Rhodes and Santorini to be exact."

"_Santorini!_" I swear, she's squealing loud enough to wake the dead. Either she's over the fucking moon about it or she's been spending too much time with Mia lately. _I'll go with the first one. _"What did I ever do to deserve you?"

I open my mouth to throw out a witty remark but her tongue darting inside stops me. If I thought her wriggling around on my lap was bad news for my cock, that was _nothing_ compared to her hand snaking down the front of my pants, her fingers viciously wrapping around the head of my shaft and pumping me the best she can from the awkward position we've found ourselves in. Our flight attendant could walk out and find us at any moment, in less than four minutes the seat-belt signs will click off and she'll strut her ass out here with fresh coffee but right now, with my wife on my lap grinding her pussy against my throbbing cock, I couldn't give a _fuck _if she catches us or not.

"How long do we have?" She mumbles breathlessly against my ardent tongue, her neck lolling to the side when my fingers find her erect nipple through the thin mesh of her sweater and pinch hard.

"Thirteen hours give or take,"

"Perfect," Pulling away from me completely, she gracefully slides off my lap and reaches for the hem of her shirt, tugging it over her head before shucking out of her bra and tossing it across the floor. _Genevieve will have a field day finding that. _"Where do you want me, _husband?_"

She's turning on the spot and running for the bedroom when I growl from the confines of my chair, struggling with the clasp of the seatbelt like an imbecile. How did she even manageto _find_ my dick over this thing?

I'm lunging for her before she can even reach the bed, pulling a tit into my mouth and sucking so hard I'm surprised I haven't drawn blood. She's in for the fucking of her life.

* * *

By the time we touch down in Greece it's 5am and I feel dingy as fuck. Ana managed to shower and change before we eventually returned to our seats but I was too exhausted to even contemplate moving for more than a spilt second. We'd spent the duration of our flight wrapped up in each other; sleeping, making love and fucking hard. I took my wife over and over again, sliding into the scorching heat between her legs as many times as I could before she finally swatted me away with a tired groan, complaining about overuse and insisting that she'd be too sore to even enjoy our honeymoon if I'd carried on.

My cock was stiff and throbbing, pouting when I pulled away from her drenched sex but I quickly placated her needs after I'd rubbed her clit hard and fast, making her come like a fucking freight train. Funnily enough, I didn't hear her complaining of 'overuse' when she had her head thrown back and her fists clenching at the sheets with such ferocity her knuckles turned white.

Taylor descends the steps of the jet with a yawn, stretching his arms out above his head. He doesn't even bother trying to hide his exhaustion. I eye the awaiting 4x4 Suzuki with distaste but my head of security simply cocks his head to the side with a shrug. It's stupid o'clock, he's been working like a dog and to top it all off I've dragged him away from the woman he loves for over three weeks; he couldn't give a shit if he drives a mini-van or a convertible he just wants sleep.

"Get in, baby." I hold the door open for Ana and tap her lightly on the ass when she climbs into the back of the vehicle. "I'll help load the luggage."

"The ride to the hotel won't be any longer than ten minutes, sir. That's the one good thing about arriving at this ungodly hour, the roads are clear."

"Perfect," I hand him my wife's ridiculously heavy Louis Vuitton and lean against the side of the trunk. "You can take tomorrow off, Taylor. Catch up on some sleep."

He stares at me like I've grown two heads, blinking momentarily before snapping out of it. "You're sure, Mr. Grey?"

"Positive," I nod. "Ana will be exhausted and I want her to rest. I don't see us wanting to leave the suite for at least twenty-four hours." _Translation: We'll be too busy fucking each other's brains out to give a shit about sight seeing. _The smirk on his face tells me that he's caught on. "I'll be in touch when we want to venture out."

I find my girl with her shoes off and her legs tucked into her chest. I'd half expected her to have nodded off instantly but she's wide awake despite her eyelids looking heavy and drowsy, her fingers tapping away at the keypad on her phone. "I'm texting everyone," She offers. "Letting them know we're here safe and sound."

"Good thinking," I pull her into my chest and wrap a tight arm around her shoulders once she drops her cell onto her lap, finished making the rounds. "We'll be there soon."

"Where are we going?"

"Rhodes Town," I tell her with a smirk, knowing full well that isn't what she means. "You'll see soon enough, baby."

"You're keeping me in the dark? Even now?"

"Yes, even _now." _I press my lips to the crown of her head and inhale the sweet scent of her freshly washed hair. "I like keeping you on your toes."

"Christian Grey, when have you ever left me on anything _but _my toes?"

Her blue eyes seek mine, mirth hiding behind her delicate smile as she peers at me through her lashes. _Fuck, she's so beautiful. _It's almost like I'm seeing her in a whole new light. She's always been stunning, but ever since I made her my wife I can't take my eyes off her. Or my hands. _Or my dick. _

Her dainty fingers brush across my chest absentmindedly, stroking the strip of skin she finds once she has the top two buttons of my shirt open. "You make an excellent point, Mrs. Grey."

I feel her dropping off every few seconds during the short drive from the airport to the hotel but before we reach our destination she pulls away from me, uncurls her arms and stretches her limbs out before leaning against the window so she can take everything in. Her mouth is agape as we approach, Taylor smoothly coasting towards the front entrance. She covers her gasp with the palm of her hand and bounces on the spot with a squeal. She's so fucking adorable. If I didn't want to fuck her brains out every five minutes I'd be quite content with squeezing her cheeks all night.

It may be the early hours of the morning but it's still warm, comfortably _warm_. I fucking hate sticky, humid weather. Weather where it's so hot you can barely sleep, too uncomfortable to turn because your hair is literally glued to your clammy skin. Maybe I've just become too accustomed to dreary Seattle weather, I don't know, but I still fucking detest heat higher than thirty degrees.

Sawyer rushes to Ana's side once we're stationery, ready to open her door for her but I stop him. Although I'm pleased he's following the correct protocol, I promised my wife that I'd giver her a normal honeymoon and that's exactly what I intend to do. The constant security stops _here. _I'm holing us up inside that suite for a healthy day or two and I'm praying to fuck she doesn't complain about it.

"Christian," She breathes as she takes my hand, letting me lead her through the expansive lobby. "This is just…"

The Ixian Suites are something else entirely. Now I've stayed in many five-star hotels over the years, I've stayed in many five-star _resorts_ and they've all been pleasant enough, some more mediocre than others but I had been sold on this place the second Andrea emailed me the link a little under two weeks ago.

Situated on the water's edge, it overlooks Ixia Beach with the most beautiful view. It's magnificent. It's also one of the smaller hotels in Rhodes which had been the icing on the fucking cake. With only 69 suites, the majority tucked away and secluded, there's an air of privacy here that I've never felt before. I make a mental note to give Andrea a raise once we're back in Seattle. _Again. _

It's all cool tiles and bright lights. Sleek and sophisticated with a twist of femininity, dark leather chairs and low tables decorate the reception area completed with thick, mink coloured rugs. Ana takes everything in whilst I'm checking in, barely managing to acknowledge the clerk behind the desk as she offers us her congratulations. She's enamoured and I'm trilled.

"You're on the first floor, Sir. I'll have your luggage attended to immediately." She's clearly Greek, born and raised in fact but her accent is surprisingly understandable. It's still thick with an exotic undertone but she sounds more American than Greek.

"The first floor?" Ana frowns, no doubt obscured as to why I've secured a suite on a lower level when I usually go for something more on a skyscraper level with an incredible panoramic view. Something like Escala.

"You'll see, baby."

I'm tempted to blindfold her on entering but I can't bring myself to, I don't want to miss the look on her face and the second I open the door for her I'm so fucking glad she has her eyes open. "What are you doing!" She squeals when I sweep her up, carrying her bridal style. _Bridal style? _I've never realised how appropriate that is until now.

"I'm carrying you over the threshold,"

"You're meant to do that once we're _home._" She giggles with her head thrown back, her arms circling my neck and pulling my face towards her for a kiss.

"Fucking so? This _is_ our home, baby. For the next two weeks, anyway."

"Put me down then, caveman. I want to check the place out."

"Be my guest." I grin down at her once her feet make contact with the ground again, gripping her hips and pulling her into me before I reluctantly release her.

The furnishings are all cream and light wood throughout. The main living area is wide and spacious, the two three-seated couches acting as the centrepieces. The walls are painted with a soft beige, keeping the entire suite fresh and clean.

To the left is the bathroom and again it's minimalist. The two sinks face a large mirror, each vanity completed with every essential under the sun and facing one of the floor to ceiling windows is the spacious Jacuzzi tub. Images of my wife sprawled out all wet and soaped up, sipping on a glass of champagne as she looks out onto what I can only describe as paradise is enough to get the blood in my cock pumping.

But it's the living room where the main attraction lies. Tugging on my wife's hand, I lead her towards the large double doors. She doesn't protest, curling her fingers around mine as I slide the first glass door open. We're on the highest level of the hotel and the second I step out with my wife it all becomes clear to her as to why.

Our very own decked balcony awaits with a private pool and sun beds. That's beautiful enough but it's the view that has my woman leaning into my side with her hand clasping the base of her throat. We have perfect, inhabited access to the entire Ixia Bay. All we can see is ocean. Stunning, incredible ocean. It goes on for fucking miles and even in the early hours of the morning it's breathtaking. _Imagine this shit when the sun's up. _

"Oh my god,"

"Do you like it?" I whisper into Ana's hair, the tendrils blowing in my face as the cool breeze from the West Coast drifts through the air.

"Like it? I _love _it!" She's literally speechless, but saying that so am I; and that isn't something which happens easily. "It's so…serene."

"It is," She slowly strides down the decking, standing right in front of the water's edge before turning on the spot so she can dip her feet into our pool, bringing herself to a seated position. "You need sleep, baby."

"How the hell can I sleep when we have all of _this_?" Her feet glide through the water effortlessly, ripples lapping at her ankles. "I knew you'd have something crazy beautiful up your sleeve but never did I imagine it would be like this."

"Crazy beautiful?" I laugh and bend to her level, running a hand through her soft tresses. "That's a new one."

"You're always surprising me," She comments quietly, leaning into my touch with hooded eyes. "Paris. The Fairmont. _Here. _You never cease to amaze me, Christian Grey."

"Baby, this is _nothing _compared to you, don't you understand that? I just want to make you happy. All I want to do is make you happy."

"You do. You make me happy all the time." She brushes her lips over mine with the softest of touches, they barely even graze each other but the feel of her mouth resonates straight to my groin. _It's that time again._

"Come on,"

"What?"

"I need to take you to bed," I'm pulling her up by the arm before she can even protest, cradling her face between my palms and fusing our mouths together. I'm fucking breathless by the time I manage to pull myself away. "I know I said you needed sleep, fuck we both do but right now I need you, baby. I need to get you naked so I can love you."

She trembles in my arms, she literally _trembles _and that's all the ammunition I need. I scoop her up like she's made of air, grasping the soft skin underneath her knees and carry her back into our suite. I don't bother closing the door. We're so isolated here being seen isn't a worry whatsoever. If anything, the soft breeze hitting our bare flesh as we push and pull against each other only adds to the eroticism, it's raw and it's carnal. It's heaven.

* * *

Anastasia's POV

"Jesus _fuck_, you're trying to kill me," I choke the second my husband rolls away from me, flopping into a pile of languid limbs with a shit eating grin on his perfect face.

I don't know what time we made it to bed last night, _this morning even. _I don't even think we managed to get more than two hours sleep before I awoke to the intense pressure between my thighs, Christian slipping inside me from behind once again. Despite feeling beyond exhausted I couldn't push him away, I don't think I'll ever be able to push him away again. He rocked into me with one hand palming my breast as the other squeezed my hip hard, propping my leg in the air slightly. He didn't fuck me, he didn't even make love to me. It was slow and it was lazy; it was fucking _hot. _

"I can't seem to keep away from you," He pants. "Who the fuck can blame me, anyway? You're naked with nothing more than a thin sheet covering your tits. I think it's _you _who is trying to kill _me_."

"It's too hot for night clothes." And it is. Even with the air con on. Although I don't know who I'm trying to kid, we'd be naked even if we were living in damn Iceland.

"Hey, I'm not complaining."

He leans forward to swat my ass as I jump off the bed, needing to use the bathroom. I quickly run a brush over my teeth and swirl a cap-full of mouthwash, running my fingers through the rat's nest on top of my head. I look _horrendous. _My complexion is flushed and my eyes are rimmed with dark circles. I'll need at least a pound of concealer before we attempt to do _anything _this morning.

Of course, Christian is insatiable as ever, telling me I look hotter than fucking hell as he tugs the sheet away from his pelvis to reveal his erection; already at full staff despite emptying his balls into me not even five minutes ago. _I swear the guy is a horse. He's a fucking __**horse. **_My muscles clench and my nipples harden at the sight of him, all sprawled out with sexy morning hair but I don't react any further. Anymore action down there and I'll be out of service. "What's the plan for today?"

"Whatever you want," He yawns and stretches out. "So long as coffee is the first item on the agenda."

"Don't you already have plans for us?" I perch on the end of the bed ass naked and tuck a leg under myself. How can I feel so exhausted yet so refreshed all at the same time? I could sleep for a week but I don't want to. _Odd. _

"I do, but I'm giving you free reign, baby." He grins and flashes me a devious wink. "I know what I want to do,"

"Do you _ever _think about anything else?"

"With you? No." He bolts upright, clamping his fingers around my bare arms so I fall on top of him with a thud. I squeal in surprise. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? Ever since I slid that ring on your finger in Paris I've thought of nothing _but _this." His thumb rubs across my bands instinctually. "I think the excitement for the honeymoon topped the actual wedding."

"Careful," I warn with a raised brow but I'm smiling despite myself.

"Baby, we have two weeks to explore and dine out. Would I be a total ass if I said I wanted you all to myself for the day?"

"Depends what you have in mind?"

"Well," Christian reaches for my legs, pulling me across his lap so I can straddle him. My hands automatically thread into his hair without a second thought. "I'm thinking you'll be naked all day. We can take a swim and relax outside. Maybe even fuck on the decking?"

"There you go with that sex crazed thinking again,"

"Like you're surprised?" He scoffs as the pads of his fingers dig into my ass. "Seriously, are you complaining?"

"I'm sore, baby." I grumble with a pout. "You've fucked me within an inch of my life."

"There are other orifices, you know?"

"For your sake you better be talking about my mouth." I narrow my gaze, tugging at the roots of his hair slightly when his face breaks into a beam. "I'm a married woman now and us married women don't to things like _that_."

"But you're married to _me_," He tells me like it's the most obvious answer in the world. "And my wives' are filthy little minxes who love to please me."

"Wives, huh? Just how many do you have, Mr. Grey?"

"Well, there's you.." He dips his head and slants his mouth over the base of my throat, still damp from the attention his ardent tongue gave when he woke me for the fifth time this morning. "And then there's the dirty one who loves a good fucking up the ass."

"Christian!" I swat his shoulder hard, diving back in for another when he sucks on my nipple through a throaty laugh. It makes my core clench in anticipation. My back arches involuntarily, pushing my breast into his already greedy mouth. He laps at me like a baby would during breast feeding, he's suckling me _that _hard and damn if it doesn't make my hips rock as the need for friction grows too intense. "Christian, don't."

"Don't what?"

"I've told you I'm sore,"

Faster than lightening, he flips us over so he can be on top; wedging himself firmly between my thighs and reaching for my hand. "Feel this," My fingers graze his cock as it bobs between us, the head coming into contact with the needy little cleft throbbing for his attention. "That's what you do to me. How can I leave you alone when all you do is turn me on? You're a fucking _siren, _Anastasia Grey."

_Jesus Christ. _I still can't get used to hearing that. But I can't ignore the surge of burning heat that runs through my veins whenever it slips from his lips even more. He _knows _I can't. "Can't we just make out?"

His head pulls back and he looks at me like I've grown two heads. Two heads with warts. Two heads with warts on _warts. _"Make out? Is that a fucking joke?"

"I'm tender, Christian." My voice is soft and hands are gentle as my fingernails lightly scratch his scalp, ignoring his husky groan when I do. "We've been going at it non-stop."

"You've had enough?"

"I didn't say that," I defend myself. "I've just had enough for _now. _There's a difference."

"You're sore?" He probes.

"I told you I am."

His head dips once more as he braces his weight on either side of my head using his palms, nuzzling the crook of my neck with the tip of his nose sending a shiver down my spine. "Then why are you thrusting against me?" _Huh? _I freeze, glancing down to the apex of our thighs and sure as shit, he's right. My hips are rocking upwards to their own accord, grinding against Christian's cock and no doubt driving him insane. "See, baby, you want me. You want me even when you don't _want _to want me. It's just the way you're made."

"That's very conceited of you,"

"So it's not true? You don't want me?"

_Fuck, he's an ass. _A sexy, beautiful _ass. _He's also right, he's so damn right it actually pains me. "I didn't say that. I just said it was a conceited thing to say."

"Who gives a fuck? I want you and you want me. Why the fuck are we still discussing it like morons?"

The burning pinch of his cock pierces through me, my fingers tighten in his hair and my legs clamp around his waist. Christian's mouth catches my cry but the feel of his tongue inside me pisses me off, for the first time ever it _pisses _me off. My teeth sink into the wet flesh and he bucks in pain, bucks into me making me yelp with discomfort.

I'm sore. I fucking told him I was sore but he's gone and fucked me anyway. The metallic tang coating my lips reminds me that I've bit him. _I must have drawn blood… _For a second I expect him to stop, I expect him to roll off me and pull out but he doesn't. The fire in his eyes burns bright but he doesn't stop thrusting, rocking his shaft into me like a demon possessed. He doesn't _stop. _

"Savage," He whispers into my ear, drilling into me even harder than before.

"You're such a _dick._"

My words are cold and stiff but my body is a whole other story completely. All of a sudden, completely out of nowhere I want him. Where my legs were clamped around his thighs in pain, they're now hooking over his shoulders for leverage. My fingers were fisted in his hair, roughly tugging in the hopes of hurting him but now they're raking across his broad shoulders; reaching for his taut ass so I can push him deeper into me. "That's it, baby. Fuck me. Take it."

_How does he do this? _How can I be recoiling in discomfort one minute but begging for it harder the next? This is the power he has over me. The control. He can make my body sing with nothing more than a touch, the need for this man consumes me. It literally _consumes _me. "Christian-"

"Don't talk, Ana." He chokes, one hand cupping the side of my face as he holds my head in place. The force he's using is brutal. The sheet that had been covering our nakedness is now long gone, strewn across the floor with the pillows beneath my head. We're a mass of tangled limbs, sweaty and carnal. "Don't talk just fuck me. Let me fuck _you," _

"You're still a dick."

With that he drops, thrusting his tongue into my mouth like an inexperienced teenager. We're all teeth and tongues, battling against each other with wet strokes. _Anymore of that and we'll be dribbling. _His fingers clamp around my jaw in a rough vice, almost like he wants to possess me and in many ways he is. He always possesses me.

_So good. It's always so good. _

The muscles in my legs tighten, the all-too familiar clench beginning to creep in. This is what I love, this right here is what makes it so _phenomenal _between us. It's like he has a radar, whenever I'm about to come he lifts his head and stares down at me, his brow furrowing as beads of sweat start to form across his forehead.

His gaze is intense. It's hot and it's heavy, much like the air in the room.

"I can feel you," He whispers, his breath hitting my parted lips. "You're so fucking _tight,_ baby."

"I…I-"

"Shhh," He shuts me up with another kiss but this time it's soft and tender. "Don't speak, just feel it. Feel how good it is between us, how good it will always be."

Like clockwork I start to shudder, my eyes roll into the back of my head and my entire body convulses. "Oh god," Ripples of pleasure rock through me, wave after wave after wave. It's like they're never-ending and _fuck _if I want them to.

"Fucking hell,"

Christian tightens above me, his lower form jerking into me forcefully before stilling completely. His legs shake and his face presses into the crook of my neck, we're both wringing with sweat but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's beautiful. "God _damn, _you're amazing. You are so fucking amazing."

"And you're a dick," I repeat breathlessly, flopping my arms out above my head once he rolls off me to catch a breath.

"I think we've already established that, baby."

"Don't worry though, I still love you."

"I should fucking hope so, too." He chortles beside me, cock flaccid and satisfied once more. "I _did _just make you come like a train, after all."

* * *

"Dad, it's 3am in Montesano. Why the _hell _aren't you asleep?"

"Oh, I've been asleep." My father's deep voice drifts through the phone and although he should be resting, I'm so happy he decided to call. "I just needed to check in with my baby girl that's all. Even if she is a twenty-four year old woman with a husband I still worry about her."

"Well, I'm glad you do," I beam. "I was going to Skype you later, though."

"No need for that, Annie. You're on your honeymoon and you should be enjoying yourself not taking the time to video chat your old man, I just needed to hear your voice before heading back to bed."

"You should see the place, dad. It's _incredible_."

"I didn't expect anything less for a second, baby. Where's Christian?"

Turning on the spot, I lean my shoulder against the balcony door-jamb and peer over the rim of my sunglasses, gazing at my husband across the deck. He's sprawled out on a sun bed, arms above his head and face tilted towards the sun; Ray Bans covering his eyes. _Hold fuck he's beautiful. _Wearing nothing but his swim shorts, he props one leg up and threads his fingers together under his neck. He looks so relaxed and at ease, so peaceful. _And hot._

"He's outside," I tell Ray. "Do you want to speak with him?"

"Oh no, don't bother him. I'll catch up with him some other time."

We talk for another five minutes or so, discussing the wedding mainly and what happened after we'd left, hanging up once I promise to call him again in a day or two. I smile at the blank screen for a good two minutes before tossing my phone onto the nearest couch, giving into the urge to re-join my husband outside after ogling him like a loose flimsy.

"Everything okay?" He blinks up at me.

"Perfect."

Handing him a fresh glass of champagne, I perch on the end of the lounger and take a long sip, pushing my shades to the top of my head. "You've caught the sun,"

"Have I?"

"Do you want more sunscreen?"

"No, I'm good." I smile down at him softly, shivering when his fingers graze the heated skin of my shoulder blade.

"Don't burn, I love your skin the way it is. So perfect and creamy."

"How about you help me cool off, then?" His mesmerising gray orbs glance up at me, watching as I stand and reach for the tie of my bikini behind me back. I give him a coy smile, squinting slightly as the early afternoon sun beats down on us. "I want a dip,"

"Oh, yeah? What _sort _of dip?"

"The naked sort," Tossing the scrap of fabric aside, I grip the string around my hips and shimmy as seductively as I can without tripping over my feet. Christian's still stretched out, but now he has a tent in his shorts, giving away his evident arousal as I stand naked in front of him. "Are you coming?"

"Is that a trick question?"

With nothing more than a toss of the hair and a sway of the hips, I sashay towards our pool and slowly slide into the water, fully attuned to the devil of a man behind me with a piercing stare glued to my ass. Being in control of the ride makes is such a hedonistic feeling, it makes me lustful and wanton. I almost don't recognise myself when I'm like this.

The second my husband joins me in the pool I'm wrapping my legs and arms around him, pouting with disappointment when I glance down and realise that he's still clothed. "Don't worry they'll come off," He tells me with a grin, pushing my wet hair out of my face. "I just want _you _to be the one to take them off?"

"Like that is it?"

"You fucking bet," He growls. "Now hurry up, I need to feel those hands all over my cock again."

* * *

**Author's Note: Your reviews are incredible and believe me when I tell you that I read every single one. I have the **_**best **_**readers! **

**Also don't forget the Pinterest page! The visuals really do help set the scene while you're reading.**

**I'm away for a two week business trip/vacation starting Friday so I highly doubt I'll be able to get another update out until I'm home. The next 6-7 chapters have already been written so as soon as I can the next one shall be uploaded. Thank you for sticking with me during this hectic time! Mrs CTG x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen - Getting To Know You**

* * *

**Christian's POV**

"Do you ever think about her?" Leaning back in her chair, Ana slides her sunglasses to the top of her head and blows a tendril of wayward hair out of her face, eyeing me the entire time as she waits with baited breath for my response.

"Of course I do. She's my mother, baby. I'll always think about her."

"You never talk about her," It's more of a statement than a question, a statement I can't argue with. I _don't _talk about her and what's more, I don't want to. "Is it too painful?"

Taking a sip of my Frappe, I swirl the coffee around my mouth for several seconds, something that's so _Elliot _like I stop the second I realise and audibly swallow. This isn't a conversation I'd envisioned us having on the third day of our honeymoon. We've done nothing except lounge around and fuck since arriving and unsurprisingly, this is the first day we've ventured out of the hotel. Even if the majority of the day has been spent on Elli Beach, we've still ventured out.

Although, stretching out beside my half-naked wife proved to be more than a challenge, a challenge I'm still struggling to battle through even as she sits in front of me now, wearing a simple ensemble of black shorts and a khaki t-shirt. It doesn't matter what the fuck this woman wears, whether it's a lemon coloured bikini that barely covers her nipples or an outfit that most men wouldn't look twice at, she makes my cock hard every single fucking time. The three intense rounds of sex this morning have done nothing to dull the ache either. The quicker I get her back in bed the better, she's wearing too many clothes for my liking.

"I was five years old, Ana." I return to the subject at hand, leaving my derogative thoughts at bay and focusing on the answers my wife so desperately needs to hear. "One minute she was there and the next she wasn't, I couldn't understand why. I didn't want to understand why, I just wanted her back."

"I can't even…" She closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly, almost as if she's ridding herself of an unpleasant thought. "Losing Ray would kill me. How the hell do you get over that?"

"You don't," I mumble. "It never leaves you, even when you get a brand-new mommy. The pain never disappears." Her eyes widen, no doubt confused by that last part. Either that or the low, callous edge to my voice. Something I instantly regret the second the words leave my mouth. "That didn't come out right. Grace is…Grace saved me. I adore her and I always will, she gave me a home and a life and for that I'll always be grateful. But getting a new mother didn't make me forget about my old one."

I grimace. That sounds so fucking cold. _Old one. _Like she was a toy I'd replaced once I no longer cared for her. Because I did, I cared about her more than I'd ever cared about anything or anyone. I scoff to myself, that sounds so fucking ridiculous. I had been five years old, a small boy. What the _fuck _did I know about love and needing someone? I'm sure that's what most people would think if they knew, what could I possibly miss about someone I barely even knew?

But I missed everything. It all seems so vague now but when I was younger, every little thing would act as a trigger. Whenever I thought I'd be okay, whenever I'd stopped missing her something would hit me and the ache would come back twice as hard and twice as painful.

I remember the first time Grace bathed me. It was the night after she and Carrick had taken me 'home', to Bellevue. I was still so scared, broken in fact, I missed my mommy and instead of going home with her, there were two new people there with another little boy. _My brother. _It all felt so wrong, so out of place. I remember sitting in the middle of the tub, this big round thing that seemed to swallow me up with my new mother beside me, washing me with this strange scent. I know now that it was body wash but at the time it was just this horrible shit that didn't smell like home. It wasn't as sweet as the one mommy used on me, the shampoo didn't sting my eyes and the towels were warm and soft instead of cold and rough. It all felt _wrong. _

My bedroom didn't help, either. There were none of my toys, nothing that felt like mine. Instead there was this big bed with a train track in the middle of the room. I did like trains. All I had was my bear, a tatty old thing that I carried around everywhere I went. It smelt like home. Until the housekeeper accidentally washed it that was. I'll never forget lifting the ears to my nose, the fresh scent invading my nostrils and making me feel sick. _That doesn't smell like mommy. _The edges are blurry, but I can still remember the devastation even now. Grace's face as she'd realised what had happened when I ran out into the garden crying, _bawling. _

Tender fingers reach across the table for mine. Ana lifts my hand to her lips and presses gentle kisses to my knuckles, her beautiful blue eyes seeking my face for what feels like an age. "I'm sorry, baby." She murmurs. "I didn't mean to upset you,"

"You haven't upset me." Even _I _don't believe me.

"You just looked like you were thinking about something, that's all. You haven't said anything for a while."

"It's a touchy subject," It wasn't my intention, but a pang of hurt flashes across her face when I wrench my hand away, like I can't bear to feel her touch. "There's a reason why I don't like talking about it, Ana."

My voice is cold and stiff. I can literally feel my jaw harden as my lips flatten into a thin line, even when she blinks momentarily and tries to reach for me again I pull away, rising from the table and throwing enough money down to cover our lunch before tersely telling her that we're leaving.

I take her hand but it isn't out of love or affection, it's out of control. I need to get the fuck out of here _now. _My heart thumps in my chest and my palms clam up as years of suppressed memories rise to the surface. Memories that I'd buried for a fucking reason. Even when Grace and Carrick had made me seek therapy when I'd gone through my binge-drinking, I hate life phase I _still _refused to talk about it. I didn't want to. I fucking hated talking about it.

"Christian-" Ana stumbles behind me and tugs on my arm but my strides don't falter, I continue steam full ahead until I spot Taylor leant against the car with arms folded across his chest, his face tilted towards the early afternoon sun. "Christian?"

"Don't," I bite as I practically haul my wife into the back seat. "Just _don't, _Anastasia."

She opens her mouth to protest but quickly decides against it, bowing her head and releasing a heavy breath instead. I fucking hate how hurt she looks. She thinks this is her fault, she thinks her probing has pissed me off and while it has, that isn't what this is about. Somehow though, I can't bring myself to tell her otherwise. My fingers itch to reach for her, to pull her into my arms and hold her tight but I can't. For the first time since meeting my wife, I can't bear to touch her.

She's silent throughout the ride back to the hotel. We both are. My leg bounces as I grow more and more irritated, the car feels like it's fucking closing on me. Ana's completely still, the only movement coming from her hands as she twists her wedding bands on a continuous loop. My breathing is still ragged and my chest feels like it will explode at any giving second. I even resort to scrolling through my phone and responding to emails, something I promised I wouldn't do while we're here. It's like I'm purposely trying to piss her off, I can't stop myself and I don't who I'm pushing more, Ana or myself.

How the fuck did this happen? How did shit hit the fan this quickly? I knew giving her that fucking necklace would do this, I knew she'd have questions and a fucking lot of them at that. I just didn't know it would provoke this kind of reaction. I thought I'd be able to handle it. But the second we're back at the hotel and alone, I quickly come to the realisation that I'll never be able to handle it. The feeling of abandonment is still too raw and painful even after all these fucking years.

"Christian, please, talk to me." Her voice is desperate as she follows me through the suite, kicking off her shoes as she goes. "I don't know what I said to make you so angry but I -"

"I told you not to do this,"

"Do what?"

"You just don't know when to fucking _stop, _Ana." I spin on my heel to face her, her ashen expression shooting straight to the gut and making my stomach roil. "I get that you have questions and I _get _that you want me to open up and confide in you but have you ever stopped for a moment to consider that maybe I don't wantto?"

"What do you mean? I'm your wife, Christian! You're supposed to _want_ to talk to me." Anger quickly replaces hurt and for a brief second relief courses through me. _This is good, pissed is good. I can handle her hating me. _"You can't expect what happened to you to have no fucking affect on me whatsoever! Your mother _died_."

"Why the fuck do you keep saying that? Like I'll just forget! All you're doing is pissing me off."

"I'm pissing _you _off?"

"Do you find me goading you for dirt?" I take three menacing steps closer, my blood rapidly reaching boiling point. "Am I pressing you for details on Morton and every depraved thing he ever did to you?" The words are out of my mouth before I can even stop myself. Her face freezes and her fists clench at her side but I don't stop there. _Oh, no, I keep on fucking going. _"Believe it or not, I couldn't give a shit how that affected you afterward, Ana, so why the _fuck _are you so interested in how my mother fucking dying affected me!"

She flinches backwards like I've slapped her, which in reality, would have probably hurt her a lot less. _Asshole. Fucking asshole. _Her chin wobbles slightly and as one lone tear rolls down her cheek, her fingers swipe it away before it can hit the floor. I stand in front of her just as frozen, almost as if I can't quite grasp what's just happened.

_You hurt your wife, Grey, that's what happened. Happy now? Does your pathetic little heart feel better now you've shattered the woman you love? _

"Ana, I-" She slaps my hand away when I reach for her face, shaking her head and taking a step back. She's looking at me as if I'm vile, not that I can blame her. I _am _fucking vile. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that,"

"No." Her broken voice cuts through me like a knife. "You don't get to apologise to me, you don't get to do anything."

I'm powerless as she walks away from me, stalking towards the balcony door before almost ripping it off it's hinges. I watch through the glass as she sinks the floor, letting her feet dip into the pool as she buries her face into her hands. She's crying. Hard. _You fucking piece of shit. _

Thinking about my dead mother made me feel nauseous - beyond nauseous in fact - but watching my wife break down; her shoulders shuddering as heart-wrenching sobs rack her body from my actions alone, well that just fucking devastates me. My hand covers my mouth, all rational thinking escaping me completely.

"Fuck."

* * *

Somehow, we manage to remain on opposite ends of the suite for the rest of the afternoon. She slid past me faster than lightening to change into her bikini but no words were exchanged, she didn't even look at me. Her face was blank, void of any emotion and while I wanted nothing more than to demand for her to talk to me, I couldn't bring myself to. I'm still too disgusted in myself. I'd simply remained seated on the couch closest to the balcony, head tipped back and too emotionally exhausted to fight back.

I deserve to be ignored. I wouldn't so much as flinch if she slapped me round the face but I'd be lucky to even get that. Pissed Ana I can handle. Cold Ana I can't. Taylor calls a little before 5pm, checking what time we'll be ready to leave but I tell him to hold fire. I doubt we'll be going anyfuckingwhere anytime soon. This morning we'd agreed to dine out tonight before heading to a club. A night out with my wife wearing something fuckable seemed like fucking heaven but now, well now I'll do anything just to see her full stop.

After staring at the bedroom door for over fifteen minutes, waiting for it to open again after she disappeared through it half-an-hour ago, I give up. I push myself off the wall and haul my pathetic ass into the bathroom, stripping off and stepping into the shower for no apparent reason whatsoever. If anything I just need to do something other than wait for Ana to talk to me. Or to yell at me, I'll take whichever happily.

I don't know how long I aimlessly stand under the water for. Minutes. Hours, maybe. Who gives a fuck. But the second I step back into the living room, a towel wrapped around my waist with my hair still dripping wet, my wife re-emerges from the bedroom with squared shoulders and a strong stance. _What. The. __**Fuck? **_

She's no longer in her bikini. Oh fucking no, she's traded that indecent scrap of fabric for something so fucking sinful I literally do a double take. She's wearing a black, strapless, body-con dress with a plunging neckline; a neckline so low I can see her fucking sternum. It hits just underneath her knees but it's so tight it doesn't make it any less _hot._ I'm almost one-hundred percent sure my cock has burst through the fucking towel but I don't give a shit, all I'm interested in is the siren in front of me.

Her hair hangs loose, full waves draped down her back and her lips are painted in the sexiest fucking shade of red I've ever seen. It's not her usual colour but I'm instantly picturing her cranberry coated pout wrapped around my cock, kissing the tip before sucking me in all the way to the back of her throat. What did I ever do to deserve this…this goddess? _You don't deserve her. Remember, Grey? Especially after the vile stunt you pulled today. _

"Get dressed." She murmurs casually, her fingers fastening the clasp of her Cartier cuff. At least she's still wearing my jewelry.

"Excuse me?"

"We're going out."

"We are?" I sound like a fucking _moron. _I've been waiting for her to talk to me all fucking day and when she does, the first thing she says to me is 'get dressed'? And wait one fucking hot second…Why _is _she wearing this? I'm more than fucking confused and it's pissing me off.

"We'd agreed this morning, remember?"

Perching on the end of the couch, she bends to adjust her fuck-me heels. She's so nonchalant, if she wasn't acting so cold towards me I would have thought this afternoon never happened. But then I remember that you never get what you fucking want in life so why bother trying. "I didn't think you'd want to do anything tonight. After what happened earlier-"

"I'm not wasting the night in this suite, Christian. Essentially, I don't want to talk to you all that much either, but something has to give." She sighs heavily before standing up. Taking slow yet confident strides, she stops in front of me and stares into my eyes like she's trying to see straight through me. It's unnerving. Usually, I'd use the close contact to hone in on her. I'd toss her onto the couch, hike this sexy little dress up and fuck all the anger out of her. _Usually, _she'd want me to. My cock is hard and I couldn't hide it if I tried, but instead of flushing as her breathing hitches, she's stoic. Blank, even. "I'll wait here. Don't be long."

* * *

The Colorado Club is the usual. A typical spot for tourists and a place I wouldn't look twice at, it's filled with intoxicated fuckers and as soon as we approach our private table I'm nothing but anxious and apprehensive. Anastasia rolls her eyes, tossing her clutch onto the empty seat beside her as she takes in our surroundings with evident distaste. What did she expect? Did she seriously think I'd just let her roam the fucking club on her own?

Reluctantly, I agreed to no security tonight. Something I said I'd try to do before we even got here but also something I've struggled with like fuck. I promised my wife a relatively normal honeymoon; no tailing and no feeling restricted, but I draw the fucking line at putting her in danger. We may not be as well recognised here, half the fuckers here don't even know who I am but Anastasia is still a young woman. A _hot, _young woman with an insane body. If I don't stay by her side every limp dick in this place will be drooling over her and risking a grope of her tits. _She's mine. _

"Drink?" I yell in her ear, my cock tingling as her hair brushes against my nose. She nods once, still refusing to look at me for more than five seconds.

Dinner was awkward. She smiled in all the right places and took my hand whenever I reached for her but that's as far as it went. This whole thing is a fucking mind trip. Whenever I upset her, she usually sulks for an hour or so; maybe throws something at my head but that's it, she always gets over it in the end. This is something else entirely. We're acting like normal yet we're really _not. _I'm on fucking edge and I hate it, I don't know how to handle this.

Just because my face isn't recognised here, it doesn't make me any less catered for. Money fucking talks and for what I'm paying these fuckers tonight it better had. I've requested for our table to be sectioned off at all times and I expect the drinks to keep on coming until I say otherwise.

Ana's leg starts to bounce to the sultry beat, her shoulders rolling slightly. My hand automatically reaches for the nape of her neck, my fingers stroking the skin there but she swats me away before I can even make contact. I know I hurt her, I hurt her more than I think I ever have before but this whole charade is starting to piss me off. What the hell does she expect me to do? She's wearing this little dress; _clearly _chosen to tempt me despite her shrinking away from me every chance she gets, and her body is starting to grind in her seat. _And she thinks I won't touch her? Wrong move, Mrs. Grey. Wrong move. _

After a tumbler of bourbon and a half a glass of their finest champagne, I throw all caution to the wind and slide in closer to my girl. She stiffens when my lips graze her ear lobe but this time she doesn't push me away. Even in the dim lighting I can see her face flushing, she closes her legs and her fingers tighten around the stem of her flute. _I'm getting to her. _My tongue flicks the soft flesh as I go for the kill, gripping her thigh with my hand.

I could fuck her right here, on this table. The alcohol mixed with the sensual beat thrumming through the speakers is doing something to me. _Is this what Elliot meant? _Before Kate, during his man-whore days, bars and clubs would always be his usual hideout, insisting that there's no better place on earth to 'score pussy'. Loud music, grinding women and endless liquor turned him on and he'd rarely leave the place without a girl on his arm. Either that or he'd fuck them there, sometimes two at a time.

That was never my thing. I didn't need to hunt women down for a quick fuck, women came to _me. _Call it conceited but it's true. I rarely had to work for sex and that's the way I liked it. Ana is the first woman I've ever had to seduce, she's the only woman I've ever _wanted _to seduce and I wouldn't have had it any other way. It made me need her. Despite the unbearable sexual tension hanging between us, she didn't just spread her legs and suck me off, she taunted me; _teased _me.

But being here now, I can totally relate to my brother's way of thinking. It's a fucking turn on. Her neck lolls to the side slightly and her hand drifts to mine, our fingers touching. I wait for her to uncurl my grip on her thigh but it never comes, the burn of her skin hovers over mine for several seconds before her hand lays over mine, her nails digging into my flesh. _Fucking, yes. _

"Come on, baby," I don't know if she can hear me but I don't stop whispering illicit words in her ear, begging her to give in to me, like I know she so desperately wants to. "Ana…"

Then out of nowhere she's jumping to her feet, smoothing her palms over her dress and tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I need to use the bathroom!"

_Perfect timing, baby. Just fucking perfect. _Considering our shit track record when it comes to my wife using the bathroom, I don't even think twice about escorting her. Leading her through the club, we bypass the main dance floor with my hand glued to the small of her back. A preppy frat-boy openly checks her out, his beady fucking eyes raking over her body. This - _this _is why I hate these places, they're filled with dickheads like that, thinking they have a shot with anything in a pair of fucking heels. _Asshat._

"I'll wait here."

"You could have just waited at the table, you know." She tells me with a petulant huff, one hand on the door to the restroom and the other on her hip; dodging to the side when a stocky red-head tries to push through. "I'm not a child, Christian."

"No, you're my wife, and I want to wait for you. Go pee."

_If looks could kill… _She narrows her eyes on me, her orbs thinning into venomous slits for what feels like the hundredth time today before she disappears into the bathroom. What the _fuck _is going on here?! We should be at the hotel, either ignoring each other or ripping one another to shreds. Preferably the latter but we're not, we're here. We're not talking, she's barely even tolerating my presence but when it comes to my attempts at seducing her, she's all but grinding on my lap and shoving her tongue down my throat. Weird. Fucking _weird. _

If I could take those disgusting words back, I would in a heartbeat. I don't even know what the fuck possessed me to spew such venom in the first place. All I know is, I was feeling suffocated and I needed it to stop, even if that meant hurting my wife in the process. Something I managed to accomplish within seconds.

I can still see her broken face. Her lip wobbling and her beautiful eyes welling with unshed tears before she left me, before turning her back on me so she could break down alone. A far cry from the vixen who emerged three hours later, dressed to fucking kill and arousing me to the point where I could cry. For what reason though? Why are we even here?

I feel like banging my fucking head up the wall. Or letting Ana do it for me, at least that way I'd be able to feel her hands on me.

She's still as blank when she returns. She's fluffed her hair and her lips have been re-painted, she's one step away from turning into a vampire. _God, I want her. _I want to drag her back into that stall and pin her against the wall. I want to throw her legs over my shoulders and devour her like the starved man I am but most of all, I want to sink my cock so deep inside her. I want to _own _her.

"Hey," Curling my fingers around her arm, I spin her to face me as she walks past me with the intent on heading back to our table. "We should talk."

"Not now," She sighs, trying to wrench her arm from my grasp.

"When then? Ana…what the fuck are we even doing here? The things I said earlier were disgusting and I fucking hate myself for it but I…I can't put it right here. I can't make it up to you _here_."

"I said not now," Again, she tries to pull back but her resistance only intensifies the grip of my fingers. My jaw hardens and my entire body locks. "Christian, let go."

"How can I fix this if you won't even give me a chance, Anastasia? You're being unreasonable."

"You're hurting me,"

"Hey, man. I think you should let her go."

_Oh, good. An excuse to punch something. _My face swings to the side, a limp fucker meeting my gaze as he tries to wedge himself between Ana and I. He's dressed in a suit, not as sharp as mine but a suit none the less. His facial features are defined, chiselled even and although it's clear this asshole has money, he's trying to interfere and that isn't something I take kindly to.

"Fuck off," I spit through clenched teeth, my hand _still _curled around her arm. _Calm it, Grey. Anymore of that and you'll leave a bruise. _"Are you fucking deaf?"

"You're hurting her."

"I'll fucking hurt _you _if you don't turn your ass around and back off!"

"Christian, stop it!" Ana's free hand swings to the side, her fingers trying to pry my closed ones open but it's no use. I _know _I'm hurting her, I've been holding her arm in a vice like grip for the past three minutes. Like the feel of her flesh is burning through my hand, I release her; her hand curling around the sore spot the second it's free from my grasp.

"Are you okay, ma'am? Does it need medical attention?"

The fucker leans in and tries to touch her, he tries to _touch _her. I see red. Lunging forward, I grip his sorry-fucking-throat and push him backwards until his back hits the wall near the bathroom with a resounding thud. "Keep your fucking hands off my _wife._"

"Christian!"

"Your wife?" He chokes like the pathetic piece of shit he is. "Is that how you treat her? There's a term for men like _you." _

"Christian, let him go!"

"You know, you really shouldn't involve yourself with things that don't concern you, asshole. I _won't _tell you again, back the fuck off!"

I drop him like a sack of shit, fully aware that a throng of people have started to congregate around us. _Where the fuck are management? Doesn't this place have any security? _If this was my club, I would have thrown me out yesterday. _Shit hole. _

He wisely scurries off, his beady little eyes flickering towards Ana once more as he goes. My palms press against the wall and my head bows in disgust. What the fuck is happening to me. I came this close to assaulting that guy, I came this close to assaulting my _wife._ Pushing myself up I slowly turn around, only to be met with sad, scared eyes. _Beautiful _scared eyes.

She's still clutching her arm, her palm holding it close to her chest as she looks at anything but me. She can't look at me. I've repulsed her. _Again. _Out of nowhere, a sense of self-loathing washes over me, my throat tightens as the unwelcome pangs of emotion start to flood in. _What have I done_?

"Baby…" She takes a step back when I move closer, no doubt out of fear and my gut clenches again, bile threatening to make an appearance. I cage her in, affectively pinning her against the wall with my hands as my knees buckle slightly. My forehead finds her shoulder, nuzzling the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry. I'm so _fucking _sorry."

I don't know what I'm apologising for. This afternoon. Now. Everything. All I know is, I've hurt her physically and emotionally within the space of eight hours and I couldn't hate myself more if I tried. She smells so good, so sweet. She smells like home.

I feel her body gently pushing into mine and for a split second, I fear she's about to shove me away but she doesn't. Instead she lifts her hand and tenderly caresses the back of my neck, her fingers stroking the hair there. _Oh, thank, God. _

"I want to go home." Her voice is stiff and cold, much like it has been all night but at least it's something and quite frankly, I'm too thrilled about getting out of here to focus on her lack of affection for more than a second. "Take me home."

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

I lean against the wall, my body limp and my arm throbbing. Christian reluctantly leaves me to collect my coat, the coat he _made _me put on before leaving the suite earlier tonight. Funny that. He disrespects _me _yet he still finds the audacity to tell me what to do. I don't know what's worse, his need to control me or the pathetic way I allow him to.

Letting my head fall back, I close my eyes and try to figure out what the hell just happened. Actually, scrap that, I try to figure out what the hell has happened today, period. His words about Morton still sting, in fact they fucking hurt like hell but I refuse to let him see that. I refuse to give him the satisfaction. I don't actually want to give him anything. A look, a glance, _anything. _All I want is a shower and my bed, the fact that I have to sleep with him beside me is an inconvenience but I'll deal.

I'm sure my touching the back of his neck has confused him, fuck it's confused _me _but there isn't anything I can do about it now. I don't know what came over me. The sight of him repulsed me, the way he held onto me like I was his possession pissed me off and when he pushed that guy I wanted nothing more than to run away. I felt humiliated.

But when he sank down, his face buried into the crook of my neck something inside of me shifted. It may have only been for a brief second but it still shifted. He looked so broken, so defeated and I couldn't bear the divide between us any longer. Like I said, it was only for a brief second.

The moment he pushed off me, the smug glint in his eye returned and the urge to slam my knee into his crotch came back with full force. He thought he'd won. He thought everything that happened was now long forgotten and that, _that _hurt me more than anything else.

"Excuse me?" My neck cranes and the guy who tried to rescue me from my husband not even fifteen minutes ago looms behind me, a soft smile on his face as he fists his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "I don't mean to intrude but I have to ask, are you okay?"

"Oh," I cough, clearing my throat. "I'm fine, thank you."

He nods once, unconvinced. "He always get like that? Your husband?"

"Sorry?" I frown.

"With his hands? Is he always that aggressive?."

"He isn't aggressive. He _wasn't _being aggressive."

His eyebrow arches in sheer disbelief and for some reason, his whole attitude irks me. I don't even know this guy and yet he finds it acceptable to judge my husband. _Who the fuck does he think he is? _"Look, I appreciate the concern and thank you, really, thank you for stepping in earlier but your assistance wasn't needed. It still isn't."

"I didn't mean to offend you, but I see jerks like that all the time, dragging their women around like they own them. Like we still live in the stone age or something."

"Well, I can assure you, my husband isn't anything like that…things just got heated back there." Why the fuck am I defending Christian's actions like this? I have nothing to prove, _we _have nothing to prove. I can feel myself shifting from foot to foot, my fingers clenching into fists and itching to hit something. _Preferably this asshole's face. _"Like I said, thank you, but everything is fine."

I turn my back and pull my phone out of my purse. The battery is low and there isn't anything I specifically need but I'll do anything to throw this guy off. Even when I pull up a game of solitaire, he _still _doesn't catch the hint. "There are people you can speak to, you know? I know of a support group close by and it's all confidential-"

"Oh for fuck sake!" I spin around, my hair whipping me in the face almost painfully. "My husband _isn't _abusive. I don't need to talk about it and I don't need a support group. I don't even live here!" I screech, realising that despite his American accent, he must be a local. Maybe he owns this place? That would explain his incessant wandering around the club on his own. "I'm on my damn honeymoon, _not _that it's any of your business."

"Honeymoon?" He scoffs, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. _Arrogant little… _"Some fucking honeymoon."

"You condescending, jackass." I'm beyond riled up now. Where the fuck is Taylor when I need him? _You dismissed him for the night, remember? Seems like a dumb thing to do now, right. _"You don't know me and you don't know my husband. So why don't you just crawl back under whichever judgemental rock you-"

Before I can even finish, a familiar fist flies over my shoulder and connects with the dickhead's nose in one fell swoop. He stumbles backward, clutching his face and closing his eyes. Christian tugs me into him, pulling me behind his back before straightening his stance and taking another menacing step towards the object of his ire.

"I fucking told you before, stay the fuck away from my _wife_!"

Not exactly helping my, 'he isn't aggressive' point, but whatever. The asshole deserved it. I actually thought he was a nice guy. He seemed genuine enough, and generally I would agree with his point but it wasn't like Christian had been slamming me against the wall by my hair, he just held onto me a little too tight, that's all.

No, he was a dog with a fucking bone. Out for blood and determined to brand my husband as something he isn't. Something he'll never be.

I don't even register him lacing our fingers together until I'm being dragged out of the exit and onto the crowded sidewalk. I'm automatically searching for Taylor until I remember that he isn't here, Christian gave him the night off minutes before leaving our suite. Looking back, I think he only did it to appease me. He knew I didn't want constant security and even though he's uncomfortable with the thought of being unprotected, he dismissed Jason regardless.

The second he slams the passenger door shut behind me, pounding his fist against the gear-stick and swerving out onto the road, I'm rapidly beginning to wish he hadn't. If Taylor was here, Christian and I would be in the back seat. He'd be pensive and I'd be pissed with him, berating him for losing control like that but I can't.

So instead, he's driving like a demon possessed and I'm staring at him, powerless to slow him down and even more powerless to decipher what's going through his head right now. "Christian, what are you doing?" Stupid question really. This whole night has been stupid. I don't know what the fuck I was even thinking. The minute I stepped into my dress I knew, I _knew _I'd be playing with fire. "Christian, just pull over so we can talk about this."

"Nothing to say," He growls, his eyes never once leaving the road ahead. "Just sit back and quit fucking staring at me, Anastasia. I don't want to talk about it."

_Okaaaay then_. Feeling like a scolded child, I slump back and prop my elbow against the door with a huff, planting my heels firmly against the floor. This is just ridiculous. I don't know how much Christian had heard back there, but clearly it had been enough for him to lose his cool, He _punched_ the guy in the face. If he had been all over me, eye-fucking me and groping my ass I would have completely understood but he wasn't.

From an onlooker's perspective, we were having a completely innocent conversation. Granted, I may have gotten slightly antsy. I could feel my cheeks flushing redder and redder as each word escaped my lips. Is that what pushed Christian over the edge? Did I look upset? Angry, even? One thing's for sure, I definitely _felt _angry. He was judging my husband when he had no damn right, he was judging our marriage and when he decided to blatantly laugh at me? Well, if Christian hadn't punched him then I sure as hell would have.

The usually brisk walk from the hotel lobby to our suite seems to take so much longer tonight. Or is it this morning? What time is it anyway? I don't have time to think about that. The door flies open, Christian slamming the key-card into the slot before storming inside without seeing me in first. Something he _never _does.

His jacket is thrown across the room, landing on one of the couches almost perfectly. I follow meekly, afraid that if I get too close I'll push him even farther. Like I predicted, he heads straight for the mini-bar. Glass bottles clink against each other as he rummages for what I presume is the bourbon, finding his preferred liquor only seconds later. I nearly make a snide comment about offering me a drink but his stiff posture and the way he's throwing back the bourbon makes me think twice.

"Christian?" No reply. Not even a glance over his shoulder. "Christian, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking."

Twisting on the spot with a derisive snort, tumbler still in hand, he fixes me to the spot with his stare. His cold, detached, stare. Usually, I'd mistake this for lust. His eyes are just as dark, if not darker, and his mouth is parted; ready to crash against mine. Despite this god awful situation, all the shit that's transpired between us today, I find my thighs clenching together regardless. Arousal creeping in as he continues to stare me down.

Part of me wants him to pounce. The twisted, depraved, part of me wants him to claim me. He's ignored me, yelled at me, insulted me in a way I never thought possible, and that was all this afternoon. That's _without _the events that unfolded at the club. But somehow, I can't help wanting him. _It pisses me off. _

Tossing back the remainder of his drink, he slams the tumbler down onto the bar before striding towards me. His eyes don't leave mine once, if anything his gaze only gets stronger but he doesn't touch me. Instead he strides straight past me, our shoulders bumping as he barges through.

His watch hits the nightstand and his shoes disappear under the bed somewhere. If this were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears and his face would be bright red. But it's not. It's real life. Crappy real life_. _"Were you flirting with him?"

_Whoa. Hang the fuck up. _

"Excuse me?"

"I fucking _saw _you, Ana." He's still facing away from me, his neck taut and stiff. I don't know what the hell has made him think I was flirting with that guy, surely he saw just how pissed off I was? I was seconds away from clawing his eyeballs out for crying out loud. "Don't insult me by denying it."

"If you're so sure, then why are you even asking me?"

At that he spins on the spot, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched. "Is that supposed to make me feel any fucking better?"

The bitch in me resurfaces, although I don't think she actually ever left. This afternoon he hurt me beyond words. Tonight he humiliated me in public and now, now he's accusing me of flirting with the guy he humiliated me in front _of! _Asshole. _Fucking_ asshole. "Fuck you, Christian." I spit. "The fact that you even have to ask me is insulting. In fact, it's borderline disgusting. I'll sleep on the damn couch."

"Anastasia!" He calls after me, my hand reaching for the door knob. "Fucking get back here."

"I _don't _want to talk to you."

His palm slams against the door, forcing it shut before I can slide through the small gap. I should have known he'd never just let me leave, not without a fight anyway. Something Christian Grey thrives for. His ragged breath hits my ear, small bursts of air tickling my cheek and shooting straight to my sex. "Get your ass back inside this room before I-"

"Before you _what, _Christian? Drag me in by my hair? Squeeze my arm black and blue again? You don't own me you narcissistic, jackass. Let me pass."

The colour drains from his face, my words clearly hitting a nerve and stirring something deep inside of him. Earlier, I would have been willing to listen. Maybe I could have forgiven him but he's shot all that to shit. He can go to hell for all I care.

"No."

"Let. Me. Pass."

Our noses are almost touching we're that close. His palm is still holding the door closed and mine is balled into a fist at the side of my hip. We're both enraged, ready for a fight and fuck if I'll be the one to back down first.

Christian's gaze drops to my mouth, his lips parting as he takes a small step closer. I think I forget how to breathe for a moment. My back is straight and my stance is strong, confident even. But the second I drink in the man inches away from me for what feels like the first time tonight, dressed in a custom made two piece suit; hair disarray and hot as fuck, my resolve starts to slip.

"Fuck," A tongue probes my lips, _his _tongue, forcing it's way inside my mouth before I can even register what the hell is happening. He shoves his hand into my hair and fists at the roots, his mouth working mine into a ferocious frenzy. It's wet and it's rough. It's _bliss. _"Fuck, baby."

He drives me insane, literally _insane. _But on the other hand, I can't resist wanting him. If anything, the more we fight and hurt each other, the more aroused we become. I can't figure out if we're sex obsessed or just strange individuals. I'd rather go with the first, oddly enough it's less embarrassing.

We stumble backwards, a tangle of teeth and tongue; our hands pawing at clothing and skin like we're two teenage lovers about to fuck for the first time. Even Christian is a fumbling mess. His fingers struggle with the zipper of my dress and all because he can't bear to break contact for more than a second, his lips refusing to leave mine. In the end I help him out.

"Shit, let me." I pant against his mouth. Digging my hands into his chest I push him off. He looks crestfallen until I shuck out of the thing, leaving me in just a thong and heels. A very _tiny _thong and _extremely _high fuck-me heels. His cock hardens to the point where I think he'll burst through the fabric.

Knowing the affect I have on him, seeing how hard I can get him just by taking my clothes off is a heady feeling. Actually it's more than that, it's empowering. My clit throbs and my nipples stiffen under his intense gaze. He's looking at me like he's never seen me naked before, like he's never seen a naked _woman _before and that's all it takes.

I don't know who pounced first but before I can blink, we're rolling around on the bed like two animals in the wild; nails clawing and hips grinding. The sounds filling the room are dirty and carnal, Christian's moans are guttural and my moans are high-pitched and unrestrained. He isn't even inside me and I'm already edging towards the brink of release. This whole day has been leading to this, this connection. I couldn't give a fuck what shit we throw at each other, it's something we'll probably always do until we take our last breath but if we didn't have this, if we couldn't connect the way in which we are right now I doubt I'd be able to survive.

For most couples sex is simply a means to an end. A quick thrust and a rock once the lights are out, not even bothering to undress properly is all they need to keep them satisfied. No waxing, no make-up. Sex with your socks on. I've seen it more than a few times. My parents' being a prime example. Not that I want to think about them sleeping together, because I don't, it completely weird's me out even now but their sex life had dwindled massively towards the end. As disgusting as it sounds, the bed had stopped thumping against the wall and they no longer wore those secret, _I've just been laid _smiles. It all disappeared. Faded into thin air.

Sex for Christian and I however is something else entirely. It isn't about getting off. It isn't about rushing to the finish line as fast as you can, determined to orgasm first, it's about being as close as two people can possibly be. When we come, we come together. When we moan, we moan together. Everything I do, I do to please the man I love; the only man I've ever loved.

I roll on top of him and tweak my nipples because I love the way his eyes roll into the back of his head when I do. I squeeze my muscles when I grind down hard on him because the strangled cry that rips from his throat makes my body melt a thousand times over. When I dig my nails into the taut cheeks of his ass, I relish in the force of his thrusts, the way he drives his cock into me over and over again because he loves the feel of my hands on him. _It's all for him._

"Get on fucking top," He growls as drags me over him, sitting up briefly to shrug out of his shirt, baring himself to me in the way that drives me wild. "I want to watch you."

_I rest my case. _His hands find my tits immediately, squeezing each fleshly globe like he never wants to let go. His teeth sink into his lower lip and his grey orbs darken, morphing into molten liquid and fire. _God, he wants it. _Either the build up of sexual tension is too much to handle or the thought of his wife flirting with another man turns him on. The revelation leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

"Fuck!" He grimaces with a cry when I reach between us and grasp his stiff cock in my hands. Hard. "What the-"

"You don't get to talk." I spit, pressing my thumb down onto the dewy tip, pre-cum leaving it moist and silken. "You're lucky I'm even on fucking top of you right now, you selfish asshole."

My admission leaves him speechless, short pants the only sounds audible. I'm turned on beyond belief, I don't think I've ever been this wet in my life but his words from earlier still sting.

Morton. His mother. _Flirting. _He's hurt me time and time again yet here I am, naked and straddling his thighs wearing only my shoes. The shoes he demanded I leave on whilst I, and I quote, _'fuck his brains out and show him who I belong to.'. _Why does that arouse me so much? It's degrading and disrespectful but the damp spot between my thighs is proving otherwise. Once again, my sexual desire for this man over rides me. Betraying me.

"Don't pretend you don't want this," He taunts. "Look at you, you're practically humping my dick already."

While he isn't wrong, his comment smarts none the less. "Fuck you."

"Yes. Please do." _Pig. _"Come on, baby. Show me how much you want it."

"I _don't _want it."

His eyes glint with satisfaction, flickering in the dim lighting of the room. He knows he's riled me up. I'm a wet, panting mess writhing on his lap and although it disgusts me how easily my body gives into him, it turns me on even more. Strong hands palm my breasts, my nipples rolling between his fingers. My back arches and my head drops back, lips parted and eyes closed. "Nice try, baby."

In one fluid move, he lifts me up and drops me back down again within seconds, his cock surging inside of me. I cry out in both pleasure and pain, I'm so wet and ready for him but the ferocity of his thrusts leave me breathless. _Completely _breathless. Finger nails claw at his chest, digging into the soft and tender flesh of his nipples. Something he clearly likes as he bucks into me harder, gripping my hips like a ravaged beast.

"Ride me," He growls almost angrily, pissed that I'm letting him do all the work but I couldn't move if I tried, I'm still struggling to breathe let alone fuck him back. "Fucking ride me."

"You wanted this," I gasp.

"I don't see you pushing me out of you. God, you're easy."

For some reason, his words spark something inside of me. I just can't figure out of it's lust or anger. He can be such a fucking asshole sometimes, it's like he _wants _to push me to the point of no return. During sex though, I totally get why he does it. It spurs me on and drives me insane.

Eventually I give in. Pushing my flat palms against his chest I tilt my hips and give him exactly what he wants. A fast, hard fuck. "Fucking yes!" He spits, his jaw clenched and his gaze trained solely on me. "You're so fucking hot, baby. I've wanted this all day."

"You've been an _ass _all day. That's why you haven't had it."

Bolting upright, he sits so we're nose to nose. One hand tangles in the hair at the nape of my neck while the other grips my ass. My legs awkwardly curl around the small of his back; albeit , slightly sore after straddling him for what feels like forever. "Shut up." He whispers before his mouth slants over mine, our lips fusing together for a wet kiss. "Just shut the fuck up and fuck me."

We rock back and forth, our speed varying throughout. Sometimes it's slow and sometimes it's rough, flesh slapping together as our hands claw at one another like we haven't had sex in months. It's hedonistic. It's raw. It's everything we are.

He dips for my nipple, his tongue gliding along my sternum along the way and collecting the beads of sweat that formed there before we even started this thing. We're wringing wet, writhing and rocking in the middle of our bed. I have no idea how long we've been going at it and what's more, I don't care. We're both chasing release, yet neither of us want this to end. It's all consuming.

"Fuck, baby," Christian grunts, leaning forward and laying me on my back, his fingers still supporting my head like the movement will hurt me. "I need you to come. I need you to come _now." _

"Too…good." I choke. "Can't."

My words are futile. I'm so close to an orgasm I could cry. My hands curl around his neck, pulling his face to mine so I can kiss him again, whimpering and mewling into his mouth. "Yes!" Another sharp thrust sends me spiralling, crashing into oblivion. "You're so fucking beautiful when you come," His words are so sincere it pains me, the fact that he hasn't taken his eyes off me since sinking into my sex isn't helping either. "So beautiful and tight."

Picking up speed, he presses his palms into the mattress beside my head and ruts on home like an animal. Grunting into the damp crook of my neck as his body locks and his toes curl. _And he thinks __**I'm **__beautiful when I come? _Aftershocks surge through me, electrifying every single nerve ending inside of me. I don't think they're ever going to stop they're _that _powerful.

_Holy fuck. Am I? I can't be… _"That's it," My husband croons into my ear, his hot breath tickling my ear. "Come again, baby. Come for me again."

I'm practically limp, my head lolling to the side as another intense climax rolls through me from head to toe. It wasn't as strong as the first one, but that didn't make it an less incredible. If anything, knowing Christian was watching me the entire time turned me on even more and despite his cock hardening again, he pulls out of me and rolls onto his back with a flop and a huff; his arm still stretched out under my neck.

"You are so fucking amazing," He breathes, grinning up at the ceiling like the cat that got the fucking cream. Which he is. _Literally. _"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Turning to his side, Christian props himself up onto his elbow and stares down at me, his cheek resting against his palm. "Ana," He starts, his face now serious and somber. "What I said before…before the sex." He actually has the decency to look embarrassed. It's surprisingly pleasing. "I should never have said that."

"There are a _lot _of things you shouldn't have said to me today. What are you specifically referring to exactly?"

Now that we're not fucking like rabbits, my sour mood quickly returns with a vengeance. I reach for the discarded sheet on the floor and tug it over me, covering my nakedness as Christian bows his head, nodding like a little boy being scalded by his mother. _Speaking of mothers…._

"I should have never accused you of flirting with that guy. I know you would never do that." His fingers reach for my ear, tucking a damp strand of hair behind it but I swat him away, ignoring the hurt in his eyes when I do so. "But more importantly, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that this afternoon. What I said was disgusting and inexcusable. I'm _so _fucking sorry, baby."

He's never this quick to apologise. Either he's genuinely sorry or he's so tired of this argument he'll do anything to win me over. I'm so pissed off I'm going with the latter. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Christian." I mutter petulantly, sitting upright and smoothing clawing my fingers through the birds nest tumbling down my naked back. "You hurt me today. More than once might I add."

"I know," He follows suit, joining me in an upright position. The irony isn't lost on me. We're both naked and vulnerable, more so now that we've had sex. The tension has somewhat been simmered to a low heat, shoved to the back of our minds until we've had this conversation. "But you need to understand, you really threw me off fucking kilter by asking me those questions, baby."

"Please don't call me baby," I grumble. "I can't handle hearing that while we're talking about this."

"I'm sorry."

"And stop saying sorry. I know you don't mean it."

"Of course I fucking mean it!" His eyes flash with anger, the ugly head re-appearing once again. "You should know by now I never say things I don't mean."

"So you _did _mean that earlier?" I throw back, jumping off the bed like it's on fire. "All that shit about Morton?"

"No, of course…that didn't come out-"

"Save your fucking breath. At least I now know how you really feel. I just didn't realise my dirty past bored you that much, I won't mention it again."

"Ana!"

I'm already storming away from him, the sheet almost tangling around my feet as I walk out of the bedroom and out of that mess. He wants to apologise? Well he needs to work a damn sight harder than that. I've already been blindsided by sex once and although it was really good sex; _phenomenal _even, I refuse to let him seduce himself out of this again. Which I'm sure would have happened if I'd stayed inside that bedroom.

No. He needs to stew for a while longer.

* * *

**Christian's POV**

Once again I've fucked up. More so this time. I don't even know where to start to make this right again, all I know is, I'm so tired of hurting her and being the reason for that pained expression on her face. It's starting to make me feel sick. I let her walk away from me. Not because I want to, because she needs to.

I knew she didn't flirt with that dickhead at the club. But the asshole inside of me couldn't let it lie, I just had to push her and hurt her even more than I already had. If that was even possible. Not only that, I pushed myself on her before fucking her senseless. Something we both wanted but something I shouldn't have done. Now she thinks it was a sly move, lust born out of the need to win and control her.

_Was it that? _No. No it fucking wasn't. I'd wanted her ever since she stepped out in that fucking dress. Everything else that transpired after that was just adding fuel to the fire.

I sit in our bedroom for hours. Naked and alone and admittedly fucking horny. Even after that intense fuck earlier I still want her, like a moth to the flame. The clock on the nightstand reads 2:22am, the red digits loud and in my face, stinging the corners of my eyes and making my head throb. Has she stuck to her promise of sleeping on the couch? She did take the sheet with her, after all? _What if she's left? _No. She wouldn't. There's nowhere for her to go without the car and Taylor would have contacted me if she'd tried to leave without me.

Throwing a pair of sweats on, I drudge my ass through our suite and search for my wife. The couch is empty and the cushions are still in perfect condition, she hasn't even been here by the looks if it. My chest pricks with fear but I swallow it back, I won't panic until I've been through this entire fucking place.

Sure enough, I find her outside in the exact same spot she'd escaped to earlier. Her feet are wading through the water as she sits back on her hands, the bed sheet still wrapped around her torso like a towel. Has she been out here this whole time?

"I know you're there." Her voice travels through the early morning air, bringing me back to the here and now. "I heard the door."

"Do you want me to go?"

"If I said yes, would you even leave?"

_No. _"Yes,"

She snorts a laugh and shakes her head before glancing over her shoulder. At some point after leaving me in the bedroom, she's washed her face and tied her hair up. Fresh faced and bared to me completely. _Fucking beautiful. _"Yeah right."

"You don't have much faith in me, do you?"

"Do you blame me after the way you've treated me today?"

"No." And it's true. I really don't blame her. I've been an ass for the past twelve hours solid. How she's even talking to me is an absolute miracle. "Ana I…I don't even know what to say to you. I'm so out of my depth here."

"Why?" I can hear the frown in her voice even though she isn't looking at me.

"Usually we fight and then we make up." I tell her like it's the most obvious answer in the world. "We had sex."

Her face whips round, her eyes cold and narrow. "That shouldn't have even happened."

"But it did." I take several steps closer towards her, not even giving a shit if she decides to push me face first into the fucking pool. "We did because that's how we re-connect whether you like it or not. I won't apologise for wanting you."

Throwing all caution to the wind, I sink to my ass and take a seat beside my girl, my feet dropping into the water. "You're getting your sweats all wet." She grumbles, tucking her hair behind her ear before dropping back onto her hands behind her.

"Like I give a fuck about that. _You_ on the other hand…"

"What do you want from me, Christian? I already let you fuck me even though I knew it was wrong. I can't help still feeling hurt."

"I know that," My voice softens. I don't want to fucking fight anymore. "I just need to explain why I did what I did. Why I said what I _said."_

"Go on then."

_Okay, Grey. Just fucking say it. _

"I panicked. When you were asking me about my mother, I fucking panicked." She turns her head to face me but other than that she doesn't do anything else. She's letting me speak. "I still find it so hard to talk about her. Even after all these years. I'm twenty-eight years old and I still can't talk about it." I shake my head with a derisive scoff. Pathetic.

"Even to me?"

"_Especially _to you. I don't say that to hurt you either, but it's true. I just can't…_show _you that side of me. It's degrading."

"Grieving for someone you loved isn't degrading, Christian. It's human nature. Even if you are _you_." My lips curl into a wry smirk.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"No." She tells me firmly, and what's more, she's smirking too. It's liberating. "Keep going. I won't interrupt anymore."

"I don't mind." I admit weakly. "Growing up I hated everything. I hated the world for taking my mother away from me before I had the chance to know her. I hated the drunk low-life for being so fucking shit faced he didn't even see her coming until she hit the wind shield." At that she grimaces, her eyes widening as she flinches slightly. _Maybe that was too graphic? _"I fought a lot and drank even more. I was a vile teenager. I don't even know why Grace and Carrick put up with me."

"Because they love you." She comments quietly, ignoring her own vow to keep quiet and making me smile again. Thank fuck.

"I know that now. Back then though, it was a different story." I inhale deeply before continuing. "I was a violent little shit. Ask Elliot," I snort. "He knows firsthand. I didn't know how to control my anger. I didn't _want_ to control it."

"Until?"

"Until what?"

"Well, you aren't violent now. Tonight being the exception." Oh yes. Not one of my finest moments. "What made you change?"

"Honestly?" She nods once. "You."

"What?"

"You changed me."

"Bull shit." She blurts out. "You're telling me that you've been aggressive and closed off all these years?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

She shakes her head and closes her eyes for a brief moment. "How…I don't understand what you mean?"

"Look, I'm not saying I still punched my way through life. I couldn't, not being who I am. But I definitely wasn't as calm as I am now. _Tonight _being the exception." I throw her words back at her with a smile but she doesn't return it. She still looks like a deer caught in the headlights. "I was a dick in general. I didn't socialise with my family, I barely had time for my friends. All I cared about was going out and finding some woman to fu-"

"Fuck? That's what you were going to say, wasn't it?" My head drops in guilt. I'm _not _discussing that shit with my wife. I shouldn't be talking about this at all but we won't be able to move on at all. "say it how it is, Christian. It's not like I don't know that already."

"Your tone proves otherwise."

"What do you want me to do? Slap your back and congratulate you on being the worlds' biggest fucking playboy?"

"I'm sorry," I sigh. "That isn't the point I'm trying to get across. I just mean…I was an ass. I've always been an ass. Hell, even when I met you I treated you like shit. Parading Macy in front of you like she meant something to me."

"Okay first of all," She sits up. "Our situation was complicated and I was just as much of a bitch as what you were and secondly, _don't _say that slut's name to me ever again."

"Duly noted." I concede, knowing full well how she feels about the woman I shall never mention again. "I was still an ass."

"I'm not disputing that, Christian. I still fell in love with you though despite all your obvious flaws. If anything, I loved you because of them. I found you fascinating."

"Do you still love me?"

"What? Of course I do. Even when you piss me off I'll always love you. I just don't always understand you."

"I know. That's my fault."

"_Talk _to me then." She sighs heavily, twisting on the spot to face me. "Don't shut me out like you have today. I just want to know you, Christian."

"I know that, too."

She's silent for a minute, her eyes boring holes into the side of my skull before she reaches for something beside her. Clenching her fist together, she stretches her palm out. Opening it up tentatively. The necklace. "Planning on tossing it into the water or something?"

"That's not even funny." Glancing down, she toys with the pearl with the most tender of touches, almost like she's scared it will break. "Do you want it back?"

"No. Why would you even ask that?"

"Because of your reaction this afternoon. I thought that maybe you'd changed your mind about me having it."

"God, no. Baby, I've explained why I reacted the way I did."

"I know that _now. _But you need to realise, you were a totally different person earlier. I hardly even recognised you."

Shifting closer towards my wife, I take her beautiful face in my hands and force her to look at me. "I'll spend the rest of my life making that up to you, Anastasia. That you have my word on."

"I don't need you to make it up to me, Christian. I need to know you didn't mean it."

"Fuck, of _course _I didn't mean it. I just lashed out and you were in the firing line. I'm so sorry, baby. You can't possibly know how sorry I am." Leaning forward, I gently edge my face closer, waiting for her to push me away but she doesn't. She lets me kiss her softly, like she'll disappear if I'm too rough with her. "Are we okay?"

"We will be." She breathes against my mouth. "Just give me a little time."

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know about her. What I can remember, anyway." She smiles at my admission and for the first time today, I feel light. This is what I should have done in the first place.

She didn't want sex or an argument. She wanted open honesty and it's only taking this right here and now to make me realise it. Fucking hell, talk about a learning curve for the both of us. "I'd like that."

"Do you want to go back inside? Are you cold?" Not only that but it's almost three in the fucking morning. She must be beat.

"No, I like it here." She slowly settles into my side, her cheek resting against my shoulder and although I want to pull her close and never let her go, I'm happy with this. She's with me and that's all that matters. "I do love you, you know that don't you?"

"I do now." I grin, my lips pressed against the crown of her head. "I love you, too, baby. So much it physically hurts."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen - I'll Drink To That**

* * *

**Christian's POV **

Waking up the next morning to find my wife missing was _not _how I wanted to start my day at all. The empty spot beside me was cold, indicating that she hadn't been in bed with me for a while. If it wasn't for her crumpled pillows and the half-empty glass of orange juice on the night stand I would have thought she hadn't been to sleep at all. Which is ridiculous considering we'd both gone to bed together what…five hours ago? _Fuck. _Now, I'm used to getting hardly any sleep at all but even I'm exhausted. Christ knows how Ana is feeling.

Throwing the sheet off, I drag myself up and storm out of the bedroom, not giving a shit about the fact that I'm ass naked. All I care is about is finding my wife. _I swear to fuck, if she__'__s left this suite without me__…_

I'm already fearing the worse and I don't even know anything for sure yet. She could just be in the shower. Except, I don't hear water running when I pass the bathroom. I don't hear anything, the silence is fucking deafening.

"Ana?" I call out, trying my damned hardest to keep my voice calm when in reality, I feel anything but. "Ana?!"

Anxiety pools in my gut. Where in the fucking fuck is she? I check the balcony twice, feeling the need to scan underneath the sun beds just to be sure. _Idiot._ After dashing back into the bedroom to throw on a pair of boxers, I punch my thumb against the screen of my phone for Taylor's speed dial, my breathing already ragged and out of synch.

"She should be with you any moment now, sir."

"Where the fuck did she go? Why didn't you call me?"

"Mrs. Grey asked me not to. She seemed to be rather upset."

"She tell you why?"

"No, sir. I didn't feel at liberty to ask, either."

Sometimes, just sometimes; I fucking _hate _it when Taylor talks to me like this. He's my employee, my most honest and trust-worthy employee at that but he's also my friend. My wife knocks on his door at six in the fucking morning and he doesn't bother to even ask why? Damn it all to fucking hell, I want him to berate me. I actually _want _him to call me a dickhead and tell me how disgusting I am for treating Ana the way I did. I just want…I need someone to hurt me like I hurt her.

As soon as I disconnect the call with pursed lips and a pounding heart, I hear the familiar ping of a key-card slotting into the door. She's fucking beautiful as always, even at this god-awful hour. Her face is completely void of make-up and her hair is in a messy braid, draped over one shoulder. I should be pissed that she's been with Taylor this whole time wearing nothing but a barely there tank top and a pair of skin-tight yoga shorts but I refrain from saying anything. She crept out of our suite without telling me after all. Clearly she's still upset with me.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because I didn't want to." Her tone isn't sarcastic or cold, but that doesn't mean my blood doesn't run cold any less. "I wanted space."

"Why?"

"Why what, Christian."

"Why did you want space? We cleared the air last night, didn't we?"

"No. You _thought _we cleared the air last night. There's a difference."

I watch her cross the length of the room, kicking off her flip-flops as she goes. She looks tired. Drained even and I feel like a shit, a complete and utter fucking shit. Did she even sleep when we went to bed? I spooned her from behind and buried my nose in her hair like I always do, my hand had even wandered to her breast ready for it's usual tweak and squeeze but she'd blocked my advances by pressing her forearm against her chest, preventing me from touching any higher than her stomach.

I could have course just slid my hand into her panties and fucked her with my fingers instead but that wouldn't have been well received either. When I'd asked her to stay naked she shook her head and shot me a timid smile, a smile that basically screamed 'fuck you'. She didn't want to re-connect that way whereas I had been desperate to sink balls deep inside her. I don't know what changed, but she couldn't shuffle to the edge of the bed anymore if she tried. My touch seemed to repulse her.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Were you just pretending to get over it? That's a pretty cruel fucking move, Ana."

"See, that's exactly what I mean." She spins around and throws her arms out, letting them flail in the air for several seconds before dropping them to her side with a slap. "You've just expected me to move on and forget that yesterday ever happened, Christian. Can't you see how backward that is?"

"How the fuck is it backward? I was an ass and I apologised. I don't see what more I can fucking do, Anastasia."

"You could try talking to me like a normal person instead of rolling on top of me like a damn horn dog every single time we argue. What _was _that?"

I can't figure out if she's referring to our frantic fuck or what happened once we'd gone to bed. If it's the latter, then I don't see how she can be pissed off. She's my wife. I'm her husband. My cock couldn't give two shits if we're fighting, if it comes into contact with her soft, warm flesh then it'll get fucking hard regardless. "You left our suite alone because I tried to grind my hard on against your ass? Do you realise how fucking immature that is?"

"I told you I didn't want to have sex, Christian, and you _blatantly _ignored me. It doesn't fix everything, you know. It doesn't matter how much you want it to, it can't fix it."

I need coffee and a shower. Preferably in that order but something tells me I'll get fucking neither anytime soon. She's out for blood, much like I was yesterday and in some sick way, I realise that _this _ismy punishment. It's both frustrating and gratifying. "I never said it did, Ana. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"I want you to see that you can't just mould me into what you need me to be. An apology doesn't always make it right, and I can't change that. I'm a fucking person with feelings, Christian. Not just some blow up doll you can fuck whenever you feel like it."

"What's with all the sex bullshit? You've never complained before so what's changed?"

She doesn't respond verbally, but the way she folds her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes pisses me off. If I could bang my head against a fucking wall, I would in a heartbeat. Anything to shut off this incessant throb at the back of my temples. Usually, I'd leave her to cool off and bury myself in work. I'd either lock myself away in the study at Escala or hide out at Grey House for nothing more than a reprieve. Not that I can do this here. In fucking Greece. _Wonderful. _

"I left this morning because I didn't want an argument, Christian. I still don't so can we just drop it, please?"

"You're a fucking mind trip, woman." Pulling the tie free from her hair, she runs her hand through the crimped locks with a blank expression, almost like I'm invisible. She may not want a fight but the way she's acting, it sure doesn't seem that fucking way. Doesn't she realise that this sort of behaviour drives me insane? Literally _insane. _I want to push her away and kiss the shit out of her all at the same time. "Where did you even go?"

"For a walk."

"Where?"

"Just around," She sighs heavily, shrugging her shoulders like we're discussing the damn weather. "I knew you'd freak out if I went alone so I called Jason. He didn't seem to mind."

"I pay him not to mind, Anastasia. If you asked him to wipe your fucking ass he'd do it."

"You're a real dick, do you know that?"

When she called me that last night her tone was full of malice, but now it's nothing more than a soft chide. Gentle banter, even. I smile despite myself, even though I know we're beyond okay. For some reason she woke up pissed at me, probably even more pissed than she was last night but she's here. She's with me. That must count for something.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Coffee would be nice."

"I'll order some up," I grumble. "Take a shower."

"You're telling me what to do now?"

I turn to face her with a scowl, catching the smirk at the corner of her lips before she stalks towards the bathroom; her hips swaying with an extra ounce of sass. She's so fucking hot, even when she pisses me off the way she does. Maybe that's half the problem, I can't seem to control my dick and for some reason she's chastising me for it. It's mind-boggling.

Opening the door to a breathless blonde, panting like a dog as she wheels coffee, yogurt and cold meat into the suite grates on me. I'm sure if I gave her half an inch she'd be on her knees and humping my leg with her panties around her ankles. I don't even offer so much as a smile, all she gets is a curt nod and a flick of the wrist. She's _oozing _disappointment when she leaves with flushed cheeks and a bowed head.

Checking they've added sugar the way my wife likes it, I grimace as the sweet tang hits my taste-buds before setting the cup on the nightstand ready for her. I've actually never understood why she does that. Instead of drinking her coffee in the kitchen over breakfast like a normal person, she insists on parading around the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her torso and a mug glued to her hand the entire time; only putting the thing down to apply her make-up and blow dry her hair. It's pretty fucking adorable.

"What?" She asks once she catches my grin, raising the cup to her lips and perching her sweet ass on the edge of the bed. Her skin is still damp, droplets of water dripping from the ends of her hair onto her bare thigh. "You're staring at me."

"I'm watching you, there's a difference."

"May I ask why?"

"You can. Doesn't mean I'll tell you, though." She huffs when my lips graze her forehead, pushing back the urge to nuzzle my hair into the wet locks stuck to her neck. "You still want to go out today?"

"Of course. We can't stay holed up in here all day."

I bite my tongue and swallow a smart ass remark about doing _exactly _that only naked and sweaty but I don't. _Poking the tiger and all that. _I personally couldn't give a fuck about leaving the suite, I'd be quite happy hiding away with my wife until we've finished thrashing this fucking argument out. Or at least until she can look at me for longer than ten seconds.

"I'm thinking about having a therapy session with Ray." Ana's voice jolts me back to the moment, and it takes me a good minute or two for her words to register with my brain. "Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No, not at all." _I__'__m just surprised you__'__re opening up to me about it. _"What's brought this on?"

"The wedding," She sighs. "His speech to be more specific. I didn't…well, I just didn't expect _that. _He was a little too rough on himself for my liking."

"I agree."

She's right. Ray's speech was hard to listen to. I don't know what Anastasia was expecting, but I sure as fuck wasn't prepared to hear what he had to say. I thought he'd sing his daughter's praises, threaten with me an air-rifle and raise a glass to the happy couple, but it was so…_tough. _I thought he was moments away from a meltdown, like someone had opened up the bottle of emotions he's spent the last ten years holding in and he didn't know how to control himself.

Don't get me wrong, the words he'd used to describe my wife were fucking beautiful. He couldn't love her anymore if he tried and I know there wasn't a dry eye in the house, I just wish he'd pre-warned me about the whole Morton thing. I definitely wasn't ready for the way Ana's fingers tightened around mine, or the way she'd seized up once he started to speak.

"He's not over what happened, Christian. I was stupid to ever think that he was."

"You're not stupid, baby. You just have a lot of faith in your father, there's nothing wrong with that." She stands with a huff and unhooks her towel, the rich material dropping to the floor in a puddle of soft Egyptian cotton. _Fuck. _Don't get hard, Grey. Do _not _get fucking hard. "How soon were you thinking?"

"As soon as we get home. I'll need to ask him first, I don't expect for him to just agree without me discussing my reasons beforehand." She tilts her head and bends to rub that coconut scented lotion my cock loves so much into the muscles of her calf. "Hell, I don't even know what my reasons are."

"Did you ever have sessions together when you were younger?"

"Once." She murmurs. "But it was straight after everything had happened and my head wasn't really in it. It caused more harm than good."

"That's understandable." I still remember those early therapy sessions with Dr. West, the painful memories will forever be ingrained at the back of my fucking mind. I don't think Ana even knows of the history I share with her shrink but I'm not about to tell her, I don't want her to worry about her confidentiality especially after all the progress she's made over the last four months. West is Ana's therapist, not mine. "I'm sure he'll be on board, baby. Your happiness is all that matters to Ray." _And to me. _

"That's just it, though. I don't _want _my happiness to be all the matters. What about his happiness? Doesn't that count?"

"Baby," I stretch my hand out with the intentions of stroking her cheek, but I don't know if we're quite 'there' yet so I drop it before my fingers can make contact. I don't even think she's noticed. "Your dad isn't unhappy."

"Isn't he?" She completely bypasses her tits thank _god. _I don't think I'd be able to handle her creaming her nipples while we're trying to have a serious conversation. There are just some things a man can't take - his wife groping herself being one of them. "Why hasn't he found someone? Christian, he's been divorced for over ten years and I've never known him to date. Don't you think that's a little strange?"

"Maybe he didn't want to rock the boat."

"Rock the boat, how?"

"Baby, you were a traumatised fifteen year old. I doubt getting laid was at the top of his priorities." Ana grimaces with a scrunched up nose as she steps into her panties. _Lack _of panties is more like it. It's nothing more than a piece of dental floss. "Imagine how you would have felt if he'd introduced you to a woman he was fucking?"

"Do you have to put it so bluntly."

"It doesn't matter how I put it, Ana, it's true. The last thing you needed was another fucked up step-parent."

"Christian, I wasn't afraid of women. If Ray had found someone I would have been nothing but happy for him, he _deserves _someone amazing to love him. He's had nothing but shit ever since Carla fucked him over." She tosses the smaller towel onto the bed with a huff after scrubbing the ends of hair dry. "And then Jen pissed off into the unknown. They had always been close, you know? I think that affected him more than he let on."

_Fucking awkward. _How do I tell my wife that her father had feelings for her aunt? He probably still does which only adds to the awkwardness. Ana's clearly never picked up on anything, and if I'm being honest, I'd like to keep it that way. At least until we get home. That's a conversation I'd really like to save for another time, preferably when Ray's around.

"Well, she's back now. I'm sure they're back home and reconnecting as we speak." _Or fucking each other senseless. _"Just focus on what's important, baby. Ray's love life isn't your concern."

She throws me a sideways glare but I choose to ignore it. I completely understand why she wants to go for this joint therapy session, it's something they should've done ten years ago. As for how many times the man's gotten laid since leaving that manipulative shrew? That's just plain fucking weird. Who wants to know the details of their parents sex lives? I sure as fuck don't.

"What did you decide on?"

"Huh?" She's staring into space, the reflection in her small compact mirror the most fascinating thing in the world to her. "What did you say?"

"Baby, you're fucking out of it." Her face presses into my palm. I want to drag her into my arms and hold her there, I want to squeeze her soft flesh and promise her that everything will be okay. I don't know what's eating her; whether it's our fucked up argument or because her past is niggling away at the back of her mind. One thing's for sure, if I'm the reason behind her internal meltdown I'll never forgive myself. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Like what?"

_Bite that fucking bullet, Grey. _"Does this have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"

Her eyelashes flicker momentarily, she's taking me in; she's thinking about her answer. I don't fucking like it. If I'm not to blame, she would have put me out of my misery instantly. I probably would have even received a reassuring kiss. Instead I get this, fucking nothing.

She's quiet as she dresses, blocking me out entirely the second she flicks the blow dryer on. Her breakfast is nothing more than two bites of fried omelette and a mouthful of yogurt and I'm positive her lack of appetite is once again my fault but I refrain from calling her up on it. Her hand is limp in mine when we leave the suite and she's completely despondent during the ride to Mandraki Harbour. I'm fucking anxious as hell. She doesn't even acknowledge Sawyer when he mentions his facetime session with Fran late last night, her face remains stoic when usually she lights up like a fucking Christmas Tree whenever her friends' are dragged into conversation.

The tension between us is unbearable. I'm two seconds away from hauling her ass back into the car when she shrugs me away while we're walking but that would only fuel her antagonism; something I'm unwilling to do. She's shielding her face with oversized sunglasses, either to hide the resentment in her eyes or to disguise the tears threatening to fall. I _know _my wife. She's on the verge of breaking down.

"Yesterday had nothing to do with it." She confesses, her voice no louder than a whisper. The gentle breeze sifts through her hair and creates a wispy veil framing her face. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still so angry with how you treated me but my issues with Ray are completely separate, Christian. Joint therapy has been at the back of my mind for a while now."

"Baby, I love you. But you're confusing the fuck out of me, right now. Why are you ignoring me like this?"

"It's not intentional." A sigh passes her lips as she twists the cap off of her bottled water. "I don't want to feel this way and I certainly don't want to make you feel like shit. That's not what I'm doing."

"Then what are you doing? I really thought we'd sorted everything last night, Ana. I _gave _you her necklace back. I opened up to you despite how fucking sick it made me feel."

"I know, I know." Like an elastic band has snapped inside her, she takes a cautious step forward and lifts her hand to my face, her fingers grazing my jaw line. I flinch instinctively but she doesn't seem to notice. Either that or she's purposely brushing over it. "I'm sorry. You have no idea how much that meant to me."

"You left the suite this morning." It's more of a statement than a question. A statement that has left me bitter. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I told you, I needed space."

"But you haven't told me why. I don't believe that sex bull shit either so don't spin me it."

Blue eyes seek mine, tiny sapphire specs glinting in the morning sun. I can't figure this woman out for the _life _of me. For a split second, the thought that she could be pregnant savagely takes hold and causes the hair at the back of my neck to stand on end. Before long though, I'm forced to confront the harsh reality. There's no way she could be pregnant, she's been grumbling about her period for the past two days. Her breasts are sore and cramps have already set in, it's literally just a matter of time before I'm dealing with a bitchy, hormonal wife. _Hormonal. _That would definitely explain the nature of her continuous mood swings.

"I wish I knew," She mumbles, her fingers still stroking the stubble dusting my cheek. When I'm pissed off, I don't shave. "I just know that I _needed _it. I really wasn't gone for long, Christian, and Taylor was with me the whole time."

"The fact that you turned to a member of staff before turning to me doesn't make me happy, Anastasia. It actually really fucks me off."

"I didn't turn to him. I don't think I even said more than two words at a time, that's why I asked him to go with me. He just lets me be."

"And I don't?" Dropping her hand, she takes a step back and pushes her hair out of her face.

"Honestly? No, you don't. You stifle me and throw a thousand and one questions at me until all I want to do is punch you in the face."

I can't help it. A shit-eating grin breaks through and I'm powerless to stop it. That's just what she does to me, even when I really don't want her to she totally disarms me and throws me for a loop. It's frustrating and arousing as hell. "Do you want to punch me in the face right now?"

"I do when you look at me like that. Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" Her responding grin isn't as wide as mine but it's there none the less. She's smiling. I'm smiling. All is fucking right in the world again. "How am I looking at you?"

"You _know _how." She folds her arms and straightens her stance, flicking her sandal-clad foot across the ground like a small child, but that smirk is still there and it's as devious as ever. "You're an ass."

"I think we've already established that more than once."

"Good. I'm glad."

"You," Curling my hand around her wrist, I pull her against me rough and fast. My free hand drifts lower, dangerously close to her ass but I settle on gripping her hip instead. "Are a maddening, maddening woman, Anastasia Grey."

"I wonder why," She murmurs dryly.

"That smart mouth is about to land you in real trouble, baby."

"Do I look scared?"

And that right there is what makes me lose all self control. Without further warning, I bend my knees and crash our mouths together. A small gasp escapes her lips but that only spurs me on further, her shock and hesitation turns me on to the point of no return. My cock is hard within seconds and the feel of her dainty hands gripping the collar of my shirt does nothing to calm the big guy down.

I could fuck her right here and right now if she'd let me. She pushes her body into mine and her tongue moves like a serpent, it's like she can't get enough of me. Not that I would ever want her to. We're as ravenous as each other.

"Christian, stop," Fear settles in the pit of my stomach when she pushes back, breaking our connection with a fierce wrench. But one look at my breathless wife, all smeared gloss and bruised lips, the fear dissipates just as quickly as it came. "People are watching."

"Like I give a fuck?"

"I know you don't, but I _do_. We look like nymphs."

"Are you disputing that we aren't?"

Ana rubs her lips together, her fingernail swiping at the corner of her mouth. Her cheeks are flushed and her breathing is still ragged but other than that, she's fucking calm and collected; something I'm _not. _Last night, we shared a frenetic, anger-fuelled fuck but it's done nothing to satisfy me. I need to make love to her. I need to feel her walls contracting around my cock as she spills over the brink of sanity. I need to palm her heavy breast and roll an aching nipple between my thumb and forefinger. I just need _her. _

She's determined to leave me hanging though. Her steel resolve is unrelenting and despite my fingers snaking across the curve of her ass as we walk, she's reserved and unaffected. Either her attraction to me is waning thick and fast, which I know is fucking out of the question considering how hard I made her come last night, or she's purposely withholding sex as a punishment. A tactic that is _so _goddamn brilliant, I struggle to disguise my raging hard-on from fellow tourists and locals.

Game on, Mrs. Grey. Game fucking _on. _

**Anastasia's POV**

Lunch was a quiet affair. In fact, the whole day has been a quiet affair up to now. After spending the entire morning at the Harbour, we trawled through the streets of Rhodes Town in the hopes of finding somewhere secluded and quaint to eat. Although we'd made up _again _for what felt like the hundredth time since landing in Greece not even seven days ago, there's still that frustrating as hell barrier between us, preventing us from making extreme contact with each other. All we've done since that kiss is hold hands like two teenage lovers. It's dissatisfying. The isolated restaurant with no more than three customers only added to the tension bubbling between us.

Holy fuck, that _kiss. _Like striking a match, my entire body ignited as all my hair stood on end. The feel of his lips against mine had been electrifying, which sounds absurd when I think about how often I kiss this man on a daily basis, but somehow - it felt _different. _It was different.

His hand remained glued to my thigh on the drive back to the hotel. He flinched slightly when I made the bold move to lace our fingers together but other than a small jerk of the chin, he made no effort to react, simply opting to stare out of the window like the tortured soul he sometimes can be. Taylor left us in the lobby with a stiff nod, this morning's events clearly long forgotten. I don't even know what I was thinking. One minute I was cocooned in my husband's arms, his breath hitting the back of my neck and the next thing I knew, Taylor and I were walking side by side in relative silence. It was an equal measure of comforting and awkward.

"What do you want to do for dinner tonight?"

His voice was like honey, a husky mix of sex and control and all I wanted right there in that moment, watching him leant against the doorway in just his boxers, was to fuck him something raw. Which by the way, was totally hypocritical and slutty of me after the horrific lecture I threw at him this morning. _Sex doesn't fix everything. _

So instead of pulling on his hair and licking his neck, I shrugged my shoulders and told him I didn't want to do anything. I could feel his eyes on me as I secured the knot of my bikini around my back and when I left him standing in the bedroom my skin felt like it was on fire - all because of the scorching heat emitting from his smouldering gray orbs.

He wants me. I want him. We're both acting like stubborn assholes and I actually don't have the faintest idea why. _Maybe it's because you acted like an insane bitch this morning when all he wanted was to put things right? _I push back the incessant niggling at the corner of my mind and pinch my nose, sinking under water and letting my body go lax. It's refreshing. It's peace. It's what I need.

When I resurface, I lock eyes with my husband. My _gorgeous, _hot as fuck husband. He's crouched down with a towel in his hand, dressed in nothing but a pair of swim shorts. I don't know where he's been but his hair is wet and his skin is covered in a thin sheen of oil. He looks like one of those fucking swim campaign models. My clit throbs and my nipples harden just from looking at him.

"Feel better now?"

"Huh?" I ask, all breathless and panting. It's pathetic really.

"After your swim."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess." Fucking hell, I'm nothing more than a mumbling moron. I'm a grown woman - a grown _married _woman and I can't control my arousal. He hasn't even touched me yet. _Pathetic. _

"Come here."

Before I can even protest, Christian reaches for my arms and drags me out of the pool, draping a freshly laundered towel around my shoulders. _What the?… _"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," He whispers with a smile. "You've been avoiding me."

"No, I haven't." I actually have, but I'm not about to admit that to him without defending my actions first. "Where have you been?"

"Oh no you don't. We're not doing that again."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Stop it, Ana." His tone morphs from tender and sweet to cold and stiff. It's unnerving. "Come inside."

"Where are we going?"

"Nowhere." Once inside the confines of our suite, Christian tugs at the towel and tosses it to the side. For an electrifying minute, I think that he's going to fuck me. His stare is intense and his lips part, molten irises scanning my damp skin from head to toe. But he doesn't. He doesn't even touch me. "You didn't want to go out, remember? We're staying in tonight."

"I thought that you want-" One lone finger presses against my lips and it takes all my willpower to stop myself from kissing it.

"Dry off and get dressed. I'll fix you a drink."

My head is a fucking shed. I don't know what kind of game he's playing here, but it's working. I'm officially spent and exhausted, I couldn't argue with the man if I tried. _Is that what he wants? _Is he trying to talk me into submission? He's barely touched me and granted, I've been rejecting his advances ever since last night but I don't know what more can be said here? I was pissed, he was pissed. I'm _trying _to get over this and although I'm having a tough old time, all I want to is curl into a ball on his lap and sleep until the early hours of tomorrow morning.

I follow the rules. I get dressed. I don't know what he _wants _me to wear but after no more than a quick rummage through the top drawer of my dresser, I settle on a simple pair of cotton shorts and a stark white camisole with spaghetti straps. It's still stifling hot and I'm in no mood to dress up. This will do just fine.

I find him in the living area, sitting on one of the couches with his head in his hands. He's still shirtless and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it's distracting as hell. He doesn't look at me but he must sense my presence because the second I scoot towards him, he lifts his head and scrubs his face with one of his large hands. _Those hands. __**God **__those hands. _

"What's this?" I gesture towards the table with a flick of the wrist, taking in the two empty crystal cut tumblers beside a bottle of unopened patron. "Drowning your sorrows or something?"

"No. We _both _are." My brow furrows in confusion. He wants to get drunk? That's his big plan for the evening? "The guys drank this shit by the gallon at my Bachelor party," He shakes his head with a chuckle. "I personally found it fucking vile."

"Then why are you staring at it like you want to devour it?"

"Because it's strong and right now, I need strong." Christian wordlessly cracks off the cap and pours out _way _too much liquor. Is he trying to knock out a horse? More to the point? Am _I _that horse? He eyes the glass, his gaze flickering between me and the patron almost dubiously. "Before we do this, is there…Ana, I can't let you drink this if there's a small chance that you could be-"

"I'm not pregnant." I cut him off before he can finish. Disappointment clouds his expression instantly and I take to twisting my fingers in my lap awkwardly. "I got my period this afternoon."

"You never said,"

"We weren't exactly talking."

Disappointment changes into something else entirely. Regret, perhaps? All I know is, the second my husband slides the glass across the table I take a healthy, welcome sip. The fiery liquid burns like a bitch but I drink it anyway. "Tonight, we're going to sit here and talk, and we're going to drink while we're doing it."

"Talk about what?" I ask like a fool. We have so much to talk about, starting with what the hell even started this whole shit storm in the first place.

"Nothing. Everything."

"That sounds ominous."

"Ana," Christian leans forward and braces his forearms against his knees. "We're husband and wife, married. We're equal partners now, can you honestly say that you know everything about me?"

"Of course I don't," I frown again. "I think yesterday established that."

"Exactly my point. We don't know everything about each other, and I plan to rectify that."

"How?" A mischievous smile curls at the corner of his lips before taking another sip of his drink. I note that that hasn't chugged the thing back like I did; well, _almost _did. The bastard is no doubt pacing himself in the hopes that I crash before him.

"When have we ever just done this?"

"What? The talking or the getting wasted?"

"Both."

I roll my tongue inside my mouth for several seconds. When _have _we done this together? The first night we met there was alcohol, lots of it at that but that didn't count. There were other people there, it wasn't just us. "Have I ever seen you drunk?" I ask him quietly.

"Depends on what you class as drunk?" _That's a no then. _"You were pretty trashed that night you went out with the girls." _Oh yes. _The night in which Fran and Sawyer hooked up for the first time. I gave Christian a blow job when I got home. It was pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Is alcohol such a good idea right now? We could both say things we don't mean."

"On the contrary, I'm sure we'd say things we definitely _do _mean. That's what you're afraid of."

"I'm not afraid." _Maybe just a tad. _"I just don't want this argument to escalate, Christian. I want to resolve it."

"So let's resolve it." He tells me, so cock-sure and arrogant as he flops back into the couch. Fuck, he looks so sexy. His hair is still damp and his taut skin looks so smooth and tanned. A few more of these bad boys and I'll be on my knees and crawling towards him, kissing his feet and licking that soft spot below his ear. "You start."

"What do you want me to tell you exactly?"

"Oh no," He flicks his finger in the air with a wink. "It's about what you want to ask _me_."

"Like a game?"

"If that's what you want to refer to it as then yeah, it's a game."

"So how does it work? We take a shot after every question?"

"Whatever you want, babe."

He looks so young and carefree, all sprawled out and shirtless; circling his tumbler and swirling the clear liquid around the bottom of the glass. Nothing like the hot headed mess I've been living with for the past twenty-four hours.

My girlish side gradually starts to shine through. Here he is, offering himself to me on a platter; complete open book and here _I _am, all stiff upper lip and clenched fingers; gripping my drink like it's about to vanish into thin air.

He wants to play? Let's play.

* * *

"You are so fucking full of shit."

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Christian snorts, smacking a hand over his cheek and scratching the faint stubble peppering his jaw-line. "You curse like a sailor when you're drunk, by the way."

"I'm not even drunk. And stop changing the subject!"

We're both on the floor, cross-legged and facing each other from opposite ends of the coffee table. I don't know how long we've been 'playing' for but the room is starting to spin and I'm beginning to tire of the sound of my own voice. _Or is that Christian's voice? _My hair is a wild mess, tumbling over my shoulders and down my back and somewhere along the way, I've decided to ditch my husband's oversized hoodie, leaving me in just my tank-top and shorts - _sans _bra.

Who the hell needs a bra in Greece, anyway? Who needs a _hoodie _in Greece?

"Have you painted me as some sort of ugly kid or something?"

"You're forgetting that I've seen Grace's photo-album, baby. _Twice ._"

"You'll pay for that, Mrs. Grey." Christian clumsily tips the patron and tops up his glass. I hold a hand over mine and thankfully he gets the hint, leaving my tumbler well alone. "She wanted me."

"Bullshit." If he thinks I'll believe this tripe then he's got another thing coming. Now, all joking aside, I _have _rifled through Grace's photos and although it pains me to admit it - my husband was a beautiful piece of flesh, even when he hit puberty. But there's no way in hell his forty-six year old piano teacher tried to seduce him when he was eighteen. Not only is it sick, it's such a ridiculous concoction of events it's almost laughable. "You told me you hated piano lessons."

"I did."

"So you're telling me that _the _Christian Grey still took piano lessons at eighteen years old? An age where he could do what the hell he wanted without getting grounded?"

"Have you met my mother?"

"I've met _you_!" I shriek. "And anyone who's met you knows that you don't do anything you don't want to do."

"What can I say?" He shrugs his shoulder with an arrogant smirk. "I had a thing for bifocals and cashmere sweaters."

"I'll bear that in mind."

This is just what we needed. At first I was reluctant, the thought of firing out personal questions when we were already on the brink of ripping each other to shreds irked me somewhat. Where I consider myself quite easy-going and carefree, Christian isn't. That being said, he's laughed at every single one of my stories, begging me for more. I don't think I've ever seen him so jubilant and relaxed.

"If it makes you feel better, she had cat breath and her pumpkin pie tasted like shit. I wasn't attracted to her in the slightest."

"I should hope not," I growl under my breath, the visual of my adolescent husband and his ancient piano teacher together makes my stomach roil. "If you tell me she was your first time I'll cut you in half."

"Of course she wasn't!" He throws his head back with a loud laugh, his chest shuddering through the sheer-fucking- _hilarity _of my question. "Baby, I wouldn't have touched her even with Elliot's dick."

"Who was then?"

"What?"

"Your first time. Who was it?

His laughter subsides and his face drops in an instant. "I've already told you that story."

"No you haven't."

"I did. I told you mine when you told me yours."

Now I _know _that isn't true. I vividly remember that moment like it was fucking yesterday. Christian and I on a river boat, drifting along the Seine in Paris. I told him all about Luc and how I'd reluctantly given him my 'virtue', the disgust on his face will forever be ingrained on my memory but that was all his own fault. He asked. "Do you think I was born yesterday."

"Why do you even want to know? It's fucking shit."

"So was mine. A horrific and humiliating _car-crash _but I still told you. Total Carte Blanch, remember."

Christian shakes his head and rubs a thumb over his brow bone, almost like he's psyching himself up. _Fuck, do I even want to hear this? _He isn't laughing anymore. Why isn't he laughing anymore?

"I was fifteen," _Oh, shit he's doing it. _"She was this blow-up blonde in my calculus class-"

"She? Does this _she _have a name?"

"Verity? Violet…Vera, I don't fucking know."

"You don't even remember her name? Christian, that's disgusting."

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

_No. _"Yes,"

"She thought she was God's gift to fucking men, if that was even a thing, I don't know. Anyway, it was her dickhead dad's New Year's Eve party. We'd all gone together and we ended up getting wasted."

I stare at him for what feels like an age, my eyes the size of saucers as my husband takes a tentative sip of his tequila; puffing his cheeks out and tapping his bent foot against the floor. _Was that the end of that story? _"And?"

"And, what?"

"That's all I'm getting?"

"What more do you want? A blow-by-blow." I scowl at his oh so intended pun. _Dickhead. _"I don't want to tell you anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because it's embarrassing." I'm gaping with a slack-jaw. Is he blushing? I don't think I've ever seen this man blush in all the time I've known him. "I…we…it didn't last long."

"Excuse me?"

"We were upstairs in her bedroom and…" Christ, he's really struggling with this. Not that I _want _to hear about the love of my life fucking another woman but he has me beyond intrigued. He looks so uncomfortable. "It didn't last any longer than sixty seconds."

"Who finished first?"

"You need to ask?" Oh. My. God. I lose it. I fucking _lose _it. Christian Grey, renowned playboy and master of the universe used to be a flop in bed? Who the hell knew! "That's it, laugh it up."

I can't even answer him. It's impossible to stop. He's shaking his head and through my blurry vision, I can see him rolling his eyes but I don't care. "Can you blame me?" I shriek through the tears cascading down my cheeks. "You're like…_insane _at sex. How did that even happen?"

"I was a fifteen year old horn dog getting laid for the first time, Ana. I wish I could say it's because she was hot," He rubs a hand through his hair almost vigorously. "Let me tell you that was _not _the case."

"I thought you said she was 'God's gift'?"

"Not to me," He scoffs derisively. "Trashy blond hair and push up bras really weren't my thing."

"Past tense?" I chirp. "So they're your thing now."

"You _know _they're not." I bow my head with a smirk, lifting the tumbler to my lips and taking a long sniff. It smells _vile. _If I really thought about it, I'd never drink this shit again. We haven't even got a lemon wedge to take the edge off. "Insane at sex, huh? That's a new one."

"Shut up," I mumble under my breath but I'm smiling despite myself.

"No, do tell me more."

"So you're good in bed? Big deal."

"_Good _in bed?" Cocking one perfect brow, Christian pushes the coffee table to the side with very little effort, removing the barrier between us. "I don't like that one half as much."

"Tough shit." My breathing hitches as he slides towards me on his hands and knees. Only this man could make crawling look so goddamn sexy, it's ridiculous. "I owe you an apology."

"You do?" His lips tenderly latch onto my neck, barely touching. My skin feels like it's on fire. "For what?"

"I've been a total bitch. This morning…" I can't even finish because his mouth is so distracting. His breath ghosts the flesh of my collarbone and before I know it, my unrestricted nipples are erect and wanting. "I shouldn't have left you like that and for that I'm sorry."

"I deserved it,"

"No you didn't." I tell him, craning my neck to give his lips better access. "Yesterday, yeah, maybe you did, but you opened up to me last night and I threw it in your face."

"So you're apologising?"

"I am."

Christian pulls back and drags a thumb down the side of my face. His eyes are hazy, the effects of the patron well and truly kicking in. He'll regret this little idea in the morning. That I can be sure of. "Thank you."

"Can we get back to enjoying our honeymoon now?"

"Baby," He shakes his head. "I never wanted it to go that for."

"Me neither." I mumble. "_Despite_ my actions this morning."

We sit together on the floor side by side, fingers entwined and knees touching. Christian's free hand squeezes my flesh almost absentmindedly, his thumb and forefinger grazing my sternum before drifting towards my left breast.

"You know," He starts. "I thought about holding off on sex completely. I wanted to make you desperate."

"Why?

"You made such a big issue out of it this morning, about how I use sex as a coping mechanism. I guess I just wanted to prove you wrong."

My cheeks flush in both regret and embarrassment. This morning I wanted a reaction, I had been goading for an argument just to piss him off and it looks like it worked. I'm always a bitch before I get my period but this month has been something chronic, I've literally felt the urge to throw something at his head all from him looking at me for a second too long. _Speaking of…_

"Well, it looks like we'll have a little longer to wait." Christian frowns, a deep 'V' marring his perfect brows. He looks like I've just told him Santa Claus doesn't exist. "We're not fucking until I'm period free."

"Since when has that stopped us before?" He's right, it hasn't. I guess it's never bothered me before. With Christian, nothing grosses me out or turns me off. Except peeing. That is one big no go.

"Just give me a day or two. Please?"

Anyone would think I've pulled out a chastity belt he looks _that _forlorn. If he tugs at his hair anymore he'll be bald before he hits thirty. "Twelve hours."

"That's hardly a compromise, is it."

"Twelve hours, baby. Take it or leave it." His grin is triumphant as I reluctantly nod my head, his eyes flickering to the seventeen-thousand dollar watch clasped around his wrist. _Is he timing me? Jesus fuck. _"Come on."

"What?" I ask, watching on as he pushes up off the floor, his unruly hair flopping over his forehead.

"I might need to wait twelve hours to fuck you, but there's nothing stopping me from getting a blow job."

_Unbelievable. Egotistical, self-absorbed… _

Who the hell am I kidding? My mouth's already watering at the thought of his cock hitting the back of my throat. I've been thinking about it ever since he dragged me out of the pool.

"I'd say I'll return the favour," He spins on the spot with a devilish smirk kissing his lips, palming his erection and jerking his hips so that I can feel every single delectable inch. "But you've already pissed on that bonfire, baby."

He's the biggest asshole I've ever met in my entire life, but despite that, I'm grinning like a fucking love sick fool as I drag my throbbing sex into the bedroom. _Twelve hours my ass. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen - Sexing in Santorini**

* * *

**Christian's POV **

Ana's groggy when we land in Santorini. She stretches her limbs out like a cat, her elbow bumping against my shoulder as she yawns and kicks her feet out. It's a little after seven in the morning and she's slept through the majority of the flight. Not that I minded. It gave me the opportunity to fire up the laptop I promised I wouldn't bring with us, the same laptop I coerced Jason into smuggling on board the morning we left Seattle two weeks ago. Besides, I like to watch her sleep.

"Baby. Wake up."

I smother her cheek with feather-light kisses, my nose nuzzling the tender skin below her ear as she slowly starts to rouse. "I am awake," She insists with an adorable huff. "What time is it?"

"Early," I grumble. "You can sleep again once we're at the villa."

Déjà vu washes over me as we descend the jet steps with Jason and Sawyer loading the luggage into the trunk of the car, but this time we're no longer a newly married couple. We've had fourteen days of uninterrupted bliss. _Well, almost all of it was bliss. _Our horrific fight hasn't been mentioned since making up that night - the night in which I thought it would be wise to drink ourselves stupid and confess every single one of our sins to the other.

Although I'd paid for it the following morning, waking up with my half naked wife in my arms seemed to take the edge off slightly but true to her word, she held off on sex until her period ebbed somewhat and although I was nothing more than a panting puppy dog lapping at her ankles, the wait had been worth every single painful second once I'd finally buried myself in her to the hilt.

Day one was frustrating, the four blow jobs all before noon having no satiating effect whatsoever. Day two was tough, I could only watch on with a raging hard on as she flaunted her sweet ass in front of my face; wearing nothing but a tie string bikini. _One tug and I'd be home. _By day three I was out of my fucking mind, I craved her like an addict craves their next fix. That's what she is to me. My _fix. _

I knew that she too had reached breaking point. I'd purposely grazed her pussy lips that very morning, my fingers making contact with her sodden sex before she could even properly wake up. But being the 'supportive' husband that I am, I didn't argue when she bolted upright and jumped out of bed like a woman possessed. I let her fix me a coffee and I watched as she sauntered her ass into the bathroom. I'd turned her on. _Riled _her up and she was seconds away from crumbling right before my eyes.

So when she threw me a, 'get over here and fuck me' glance over her shoulder, I didn't need asking fucking twice. Before she could even turn the shower on, I'd stormed into the bathroom with my boxers around my ankles and a dick as stiff as a board. Grateful for her already naked state, I pushed my wife backwards and slammed her lithe body against the wall. The tiles were cool against her skin and the little shriek that escaped her lips only served to arouse me farther. I wordlessly hooked her leg around my waist, hoisted her up slightly and before she could even register what the _fuck _was going on, I had my cock so deep inside her I could practically feel her womb.

She writhed and twisted in my grasp, her lips latching onto the meaty wing of my shoulder. It was fast, hard and carnal, the only sounds to be heard were that of skin slapping and tongues intertwining and when she bit down hard on my neck, I blew. It was an intense climax for the both of us. Not only had it been three days of petting and ravenous kisses, it was the first time we'd connected since those thirty-sex hours of hell. I never thought sex could be so cathartic.

"I can't believe we're here," My wife shrieks with excitement, bouncing in her seat as she clasps my hand, her eyes dancing with joy.

The villa has five deluxe bedrooms; our master suite complete with a King size bed, steam-hydro massage shower and a Jacuzzi tub and due to it's hilltop position, lack of privacy definitely won't be one of my concerns.

Traditional Cycladian architecture runs throughout, although it's been completely modernised to provide nothing but sheer luxury. Polished wooden floors travel through the main living and dining area straight into the kitchen, clear sunlight streaming through the high vaulted roof. A theatre room sits at the back of the villa with plush couches, various library shelves and a surround sound hi-fi system.

Outside lies a copious courtyard and a sunny terrace, studded with sun loungers and cushioned patio furniture, the pool being the main attraction. Tucked around the corner is a poolside shower, a giant chess board and a basketball court. Elliot would be in his fucking element but something tells me I won't be feeling the need for any of those facilities, not with my beautiful wife by my side every day.

Ana tosses her shoes off and kicks them aside, pushing her mussed up hair out of her face. She looks tired and dishevelled and I know that she is, but I don't think I've ever seen a more stunning sight in all my fucking life. Her eyes catch mine for a split second before she spins around once more, our villa much more appealing to her than what I am. My wife is exhausted. Where I could quite happily stay awake, she wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep until noon. I kept her awake for the majority of last night, gently jostling her by the shoulders every time my cock would rise to attention and by the third fuck, she was merely a limp rag-doll, giving me her body purely for my pleasure and selfishly, I took it. _Time and time again._

"Christian, this place is so beautiful. Where did you find it?"

"Andrea," I confess with a shy smirk. I could easily take all the credit for giving my wife the honeymoon of her dreams but that would be wrong. "She searched for weeks before I finally gave her the green light."

"You approved it?"

"Of course," _Doesn't she realise who she's talking about here? _"There was no doubt about it once she'd forwarded me the email."

"So…" Anastasia slinks into me, her arms threading around my neck as she pulls me close to her. "It was you really?" My frown doesn't escape her attention. "Andrea _may _have seen the villa first but you were the one who went for it, knowing how much I'd love it. Baby, you really don't give yourself enough credit."

"How's that?"

"You, Christian Grey, are an amazing man. You're my man. I just wish you'd see it more." Fuck what I said before, I'll take whatever I can get if she carries on looking at me like _that. _Like she wants to devour me standing. "Are you hungry? I can fix us something."

"No, baby. I want you to get some sleep." She frowns, moments before her face stretches out into a wide yawn. She tries to cover her mouth with her hand but it's pointless.

"I'm fine."

"Ana, you're practically falling asleep on me."

She shrieks when I scoop her up into my arms, one hand hooking underneath her knees. Her legs flail slightly and she flexes her toes in protest but other than that, she's all too happy to be carried. I divest her of her clothes and offer her a shirt to sleep in but she shakes her head with another exhausted yawn. _Damn, that shit's contagious. _"We haven't unpacked yet and I _really _can't face trawling through those cases yet."

"You don't have to."

I'm ecstatic when she crawls into the middle of our vast bed wearing nothing but her bra and a pair of indecent panties. She fluffs her hair at the top of her head and leans back with a flop, her nose all scrunched up and adorable. "Aren't you joining me?"

"I wasn't planning on it." I tell her from the end of the bed, my hands balled into fists and resting on my hips. "I'll just hang out there until you wake up."

"You're not tired?" She grumbles quietly, throwing her arm out over the covers. She looks so fucking small. "How in the hell are you not tired?"

"Baby, you and I both know if I get into that bed neither of us will be getting _any _sleep."

"Pervert." She mouths with a smirk.

"Who gives a fuck? You're warm and naked." I hover over her, one knee resting on the bed as I dip to kiss her forehead. I want to kiss her lips but if I do, I won't be leaving this room anytime soon and she needs her rest. "Get some sleep."

"Hmm," She nods with a tired humph. "Love you."

* * *

"Mom's already planning your homecoming. Fucking golden boy." I can hear my brother's smirk through the phone but I'm shaking my head in frustration despite his humour. "Don't think I'm joking either, she's one step away from roping that bitch Heather in."

"Tell her to fucking stop then. I mean it, Elliot. Ana and I don't need that shit."

"Like she'll listen to me? I don't get it either." I hunch forward and pinch the bridge of my nose. I'm starting to regret even calling the bastard now. I can tell he finds this beyond hilarious and although I'd feel the same if this was the other way around, it's not fucking funny. "What can I say? She misses you both."

"What the hell is she planning? Dinner? A party? It better not be a god damn party."

"Both, I think. Mia hopped on the bandwagon the second she overheard mom and dad talking, even fucking _Kate _is getting involved."

Kate. That _really _doesn't surprise me. Interfering wench that she is. "Where is Kate?" I opt for a subject change. Anything to get off that bullshit.

"In the bathroom doing fuck knows what. I gave up knocking over an hour ago." I hear a bag rustling in the background, chips no doubt. "What is it with chicks and mirrors? I swear she spends more time looking at herself than she does sucking my dick."

_I wouldn't know. _I don't have that issue with Ana. My wife is so naturally beautiful, she doesn't need to spend hours on end maintaining herself. She's the least vain person I know, it's one of the things I love so much about her. "Are you at your apartment?"

"Kate's," He grumbles through a mouthful of something stodgy. _Disgusting fucker. _"She's been complaining about spending so much time at my place lately soooo…here we are."

"What's her problem?"

"Fuck knows." He scoffs. "It's not like I mind being here or anything, it's just that my apartment is closer to the yard. Plus it's bigger. This is like living in a fucking hole."

"Tell her that, then."

"I've tried, and does she listen? Does she fuck." There's more rustling before the loudest burp I've ever fucking heard travels down the receiver. _Jesus Christ! _"I've got a question."

"What?" I growl, still disgusted and repulsed.

"How did you go about asking Ana to move in with you?"

"Why?"

"Curiosity."

"Are you thinking about asking Kate?"

"Maybe, I don't know yet. It would definitely make things easier."

"Ell, that's not a good enough reason and you know it." I snort with a chuckle. "'Hey, babe? Move in with me? I love you, and I want to spend every waking minute with you, but it's mainly because I'll have a five minute commute to work every fucking day.' Yeah, _real_ romantic, brother."

"Well, I wouldn't fucking put it like that, would I? Smart ass."

"Do you even _want_ to live with her? Like seriously?"

"Of course I do. I love her, and we've been really good lately. More so since you guys have been away."

"I don't know if we should be offended by that or not."

"I don't mean that, it's just…ever since the wedding," He starts. "Something shifted between us. I can't explain it."

"Well, I can't say I wouldn't be happy for you." _Even if she is a pain in my fucking ass. _"I know how much she means to you."

"The world," He sighs almost wistfully. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"That makes two of us."

"I just don't want to fuck this up," He sighs wistfully. "I've already put her through so much, Chris. I want to give her something stable, something permanent."

That I can understand. When I asked Ana, she had just woken from her worst nightmare - _our _worst nightmare. I thought I was losing her, she was limp and lifeless in my arms and watching her being rushed into that OR like her life was on the line, it was the single most terrifying moment of my existence. I knew right there and then that I couldn't live without her. I didn't want to live without her. For Elliot and Kate, it's slightly different. They've both fucked around for years, with and without each other. My brother had a different woman in his bed almost every night and Kate, well Kate wasn't exactly a virgin.

They've both found something worth sticking with in each other and I've honestly never seen my brother like this, he's got it fucking _bad. _I just hope he knows what he's doing.

"You've gone silent on me," He interjects.

"I'm just thinking."

"You think it's a shit idea, don't you?"

"Not at all," And I don't, I'm just concerned. I'm one of the lucky bastards. I've met the love of my life and I have no doubt in my mind that it's forever. It wasn't all that long ago that he was fucking Cassidy, the biggest mistake of his damn life, and now he wants to move in with the woman he blew off more than he saw? And I'm not one to judge, I don't have the _right _to judge, but Ana has told me more than once about her best friend's sexual history and let me tell you, it isn't all that squeaky clean. They're as loose as each other. "Just think about it first, yeah? It's a big fucking step, trust me, I know."

"How _is_ married life?"

"A dream," I confess through a shit eating grin. "_She's _a dream. What more can I say?"

"Maybe you should stay in dreamy old Greece then," He tells me, his voice dripping with dry sarcasm.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," He sighs. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Too fucking late for that. Tell me now, Elliot."

He's silent for several seconds, the bag rustling in the distance before he finally mutters the one name I despise. "Ethan."

"What the fuck has he done now?" I grit my teeth, fully aware of my sleeping wife but I want nothing more than to scream the place down.

"Nothing new. He showed up here smashed out of his skull, he didn't even know what fucking day it was. Thank _fuck _I was here that's all I can say."

"Why?"

"He all but broke the door down," Elliot growls. "Kate was terrified before she even saw him. What's that fucking shit about? She's _scared _of her own brother?"

"Sounds like she has fucking reason to be," I huff. "Then what?"

"He flies for me, like literally fucking _flies _for me and I'm like, 'dude, what the fuck?'. He's barely stepped over the threshold and he's launching at me like a fucking bulldog. Pissed me off-"

"Elliot, get to the point." I cut him off abruptly.

"So he's asking me where Ana is, and when I say asking, I mean he's calling you a fucking bastard and demanding to know where you've taken his woman."

"What the _fuck?"_

His woman? His. _Woman?! _I'm seething. Foam is literally bubbling at the corner of my mouth and I can't control it. Elliot must sense it because he instantly continues with his little story. "Kate's yelling at him to get out and I'm doing my best just to hold the fucker back! He's fucking strong for someone who couldn't even hold himself upright."

"Did you tell him where we are?"

"Christian, you've only just told _me_ where you are and even if I did know, he was that out of it he wouldn't have remembered once he'd sobered up."

"What the fuck does he want!" I boom at no-one in particular.

"Bro, I think we both know what he wants and It goes in the tight little package that is your wife."

"Watch it," I seethe. "This isn't fucking funny, Elliot, so quit pissing me the fuck off."

"I wasn't exactly laughing when he was inches away from my face and threatening my girlfriend, believe me."

"Threatening?" I frown.

"He's one ballsy fucker when he's tanked up, Christian. The things he was saying to Kate…" A heavy sigh passes his lips. "It was disgusting. If I ever heard you talking to Mia like that, you wouldn't be fucking standing."

"Fuck, has she told Ana?" She can't have. My wife would have told me and besides, I haven't seen her on her phone other than when she's facetiming Ray.

"She wanted to, shit did she want to but that's Kate, she's like a fucking lioness where Ana is concerned." _Valid point. _"I could be miles off the mark here, but something tells me that wasn't the first time he's pulled that stunt." His tone is short and blunt, almost like he's forcefully gritting his teeth. "I know this is a big ask, but can you talk to Ana for me? Do some digging."

"I need to fucking tell her anyway," I huff, scratching the back of my neck. "I promised her no more secrets. I've already kept so much from her."

Familiar fingers curl around the ends of my hair, tugging hard enough for my head to jolt back slightly. My wife smacks her lips together in the shape of a pout and blows me a kiss before taking a seat beside me at the edge of the pool, dropping her feet into the perfectly clear water and flexing her toes. I quickly bring the conversation with my brother to an end, sliding my cell into the back pocket of my jeans with Anastasia's eyes trained solely on mine. "What have you kept from me?" She enquires almost instantly.

"You don't miss a trick do you," I grin, despite my blood still at boiling point. "That was Elliot."

"I guessed as much."

"Ethan paid Kate a visit last week."

I expect her to look shocked, a gasp of air at least but there's nothing. It's almost like she knew I was going to say that. _How long had she been standing behind me? _Even if she'd heard my side of the conversation, that doesn't mean she caught on to Elliot's.

"Let me guess, he was drunk?" _I don't fucking like that she knew without me saying anything. _"It's nothing new, Christian."

"He's done this before?"

"_Numerous _times." She sighs and kicks her feet out, making ripples in the water. "Whenever he's at war with the world, he turns to drink and Kate takes the brunt of it every single time. She's used to it."

"She shouldn't be." I growl. "He's a fucking bully, Ana. Elliot was this close to calling the cops on his ass."

"He'll sober up and realise what a dick he's been. _Again._" Ana twists on the spot with a small smile, her hand reaching for the balled up fist resting in my lap. "Christian, he isn't all bad. He's just…lost. He's always been lost."

_He's fucking in love with you, that's what he is. _"Why are you making excuses for him?"

"I'm not!" She defends. "I've known him for a long time, that's all. He isn't violent or anything."

"Elliot said Kate was hysterical. Terrified even."

My wife rolls her eyes, and I know that her sarcastic brush off isn't aimed at her friend, it's aimed at Ethan. This is clearly familiar behaviour and while I don't fucking like it, I'm intrigued to know more. I'll take anything that makes me hate the little cocksucker even more than I already do.

"If we're doing this, then I'll need a drink." I follow her inside, all the way to the kitchen and watch on as she pulls out a bottle of something chilled, filling two glasses to the brim. She looks pensive, _too _pensive. "They've always had a fiery relationship," She starts. "I've put it down to the close age-gap, they're far too similar and they've clashed more times than I can even begin to count."

"He just doesn't know when to stop," She palms her forehead as a heavy sigh passes her beautiful lips. "It's not like he means it."

"Mean what?"

A look of trepidation flashes across her face, her shoulders tense and stiff. "He…pushed her once."

"Excuse me?"

"It was over something stupid, I can't even remember what now," She tries to laugh it off but I'm having fucking none of it. If this bastard laid so much as a _finger _on my wife I'll kill him with my bare hands. "He was drunk and Kate doesn't know when to leave him alone, so he pushed her."

"Did she fall?"

"She landed against a wall."

I take a step closer towards Ana, setting my untouched glass onto the island between us. "She landed or she fell?" Powder blue eyes flicker towards the floor, the Royal marble tiles far more interesting. "Ana, did he fucking throw her against the wall?"

"I don't know." She murmurs. "I wasn't there."

"But?.."

"But, what?"

"What did Kate fucking tell you?" My tone is laced with exasperation. "Ana?"

"She defended him, Christian. Of _course_ she defended him, he's her brother. Her only brother. What else do you expect?"

"Has he ever…Did he…" Fuck, I can't even ask her. I've already witnessed the woman I love battered and bruised at the hands of one man, if Ana confirms what I fear the most, I don't think I'll be able to fucking handle it. "Did he hurt _you_?"

"Never." She tells me without a moments hesitation but something still isn't sitting right with me and it's a feeling I can't seem to shake. "Baby, he hasn't touched me, I promise."

"So he just shoves his sister around then does he? Thinks that makes him some big tough guy?" I could rip the bastard to shreds without as much of a shudder. He's poison, fucking poison. "Why does Kate even tolerate him? Why do _you _tolerate him?"

"Like I said, he's her brother. As for me?" She shrugs one slender shoulder, the strap of her camisole sliding down her arm. "I guess I just saw the good in him, Christian. I still do, what's so wrong that?"

Sometimes, just _sometimes_, I could fucking shake this woman. Is she really this naive? Now, she's always been trusting, that I'm certain of. That's why she put up with Brody's fucking bullshit for as long as she did, despite always knowing the nauseating truth, she still continued to take it fucking lying down. This is no goddamn different.

"He's my frie…_was _my friend." She quickly corrects herself. "I may not see him anymore but that doesn't make him a shitty person, he just does shitty things sometimes."

"That's such a fucking contradiction and you know it, Ana!"

"Until Kate turns her back on him, I refuse to speak bad of him. Surely you can understand that?" She moves forward, her eyes trained solely on me as I fist my hips and tip my head back. "She's my best friend, Christian. I couldn't do anything to hurt her."

"But has Ethan hurt her?"

"It was just that one time, he hasn't touched her like that again I promise. Believe me when I say I would've castrated him if he had." Her soft palm makes contact with my cheek, her sweet breath hitting my lips. "Kate swore to me he didn't hurt her."

"Do you believe her?"

"She wouldn't lie to me."

She tells me with such conviction, I can't help but believe her. One thing I love about my wife? She's nothing but honest with me, even when I don't want to hear it. She's imploring me to let this drop with eye contact alone, her orbs dancing with desperation. I can't deny her, I've never been able to. But if I discover anything different to what Anastasia has shared with me, I won't think twice about hunting the bastard down and making him bleed.

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

He's brooding, I can sense it. I left him alone with his thoughts while I unpacked and when I returned just under an hour later, I found him in the exact same spot, hunched over the island in the middle of the vast kitchen with his face in his hands. I debated even telling him about Ethan but I couldn't lie, not after my reaction when I'd heard about his latest altercation with my best friend.

It sounded a hell of a lot worse than it actually was but that doesn't matter to my husband, he couldn't give two fucks, all he heard was Ethan and violence. Of _course_ he's concerned, not only for me but for Kate and while it's beyond touching, he doesn't need to be. Ethan isn't dangerous, he's just passive aggressive and it always seems to land him in the shit.

I'll call Kate tomorrow. I'm not overly worried but I need to hear that she's okay from her and her alone, Elliot could be exaggerating the truth for all I know and that's not what I want to focus on. Deep down, I know my best friend would've reached out if something bad had truly happened.

"Are you still thinking about Ethan?"

I throw it out there as I push my empty plate away. We're facing each other at the dining table, mauling leftover olives and zucchini while Christian swipes a chunk of pita bread through his dip; his eyes downcast and distant. "Believe me, I'm trying not to."

"Baby," I reach for his hand. "Why has it bothered you so much?"

"I can't get the image of him hurting you out of my head." He tells me with a grimace, his hand leaving mine so he can run it through his unruly hair.

It's totally inappropriate considering the situation, but my husband is fucking _hot_. We ditched clothes hours ago, opting for swim shorts and bathing suits instead and despite Christian's internal battle with himself, he still managed to fuck me against the ledge of the pool after I brushed my near-naked ass past him for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon.

His breathing had been laboured and when he came, his fingers gripped the wet flesh of my thighs to the point of bruising. It was hard and fast, something we both needed for two very different reasons.

Now he's shirtless, his chest damp from various coats of oil, plus the odd swipe of my cum from where he'd pulled me on top of him not even forty-five minutes ago. I'd been horizontal on one of the various sun loungers outside when my caveman pulled me upright, tugging me towards his face as he tucked my bikini bottoms to the side, his tongue probing my entrance and making me shudder. It's safe to say I made a mess, and knowing that my release is still smeared across his chest, it's more than enough to ignite the fire again. _Did it ever really die out? _Did it hell.

"You're over thinking this," I tell him with a sigh, trying my hardest to ignore the pulsating between my thighs. "Ethan never laid a finger on me, he barely even raised his voice in my direction."

"I don't fucking trust him, Ana." His voice is taut and strained, apprehension evident. "I never have but this has just…It's pissed me off."

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For making you feel like this, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Baby, this really isn't your fault." Lifting the goblet to his lips, his wedding band clinks against the glass and my uterus skips a beat. _Holy fuck. _"He's a fucking weasel. I've never trusted him."

"I wish you'd let it go,"

His eyes meet mine and for a second, our orbs lock; transfixed. "I wish I could."

"What can I do?" I sit a little straighter in my chair, my shoulders rolling as I push away from the table slightly. "How can I make you forget?"

I know _exactly _how I can make him forget but at this moment in time, I'm struggling to read him. His posture is strong and commanding but his demeanour is anything but, he looks lost. _Bewildered. _I'm already wet and wanting, have been all day in fact but I don't think that's enough. Sex connects us in ways talking doesn't and right now, we need to connect. Our tryst in the pool earlier this afternoon wasn't enough, it barely even scratched the surface.

"You're here with me," Christian reaches for my hand again, his fingers threading through mine. It's intimate and tender and it's turning me the _fuck _on. "That's enough, baby."

_Baby. _Sometimes that can really fire me up, this instance a prime example. I need to feel him inside me. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than I want him like I do here and now. Deciding to take the plunge, I push my chair back all the way and with our hands still connected, I slowly part my legs as wide as they'll go.

Sensing my sudden change in position, my husband glances to the left of him and literally does a double take. If I wasn't so aroused, this would be absolutely hilarious. I know full well what he can see. Right in front of his eyes, is an unrestricted view of my sodden sex.

Despite the fact that I'm wearing shorts, albeit a very _thin _pair of shorts, my legs are so far spread the cotton is doing very little to disguise my swollen lips, if anything it's highlighting my arousal even more. "Are you sure that's enough?"

I ask him with a pant, my voice low and desperate. I feel so brazen and unrestricted, I'm slowly reeling him in and it feels fucking fantastic. Usually it's the other way around.

"Baby," He goes for a groan but it passes his lips as a wheeze instead. "What are you doing?

"Showing you how much I want you," I tell him.

"How much _do_ you want me?" His pupils dilate and his irises darken, molten gray staring into seductive blue. That's how I feel. _Seductive. _

"Isn't it obvious?"

Like a predator - the predator I _know _he is - my husband relinquishes his grip on my fingers and slowly rises to his feet, never once breaking eye contact. "Stand up." I do without question. It's actually quite desperate on my behalf. "Take them off,"

Snapping the elastic of my now drenched shorts against my hip bone, he dips and thrusts his pelvis into mine, eliciting a hearty moan from deep inside my chest. After a beat, I hook my fingers into the hem and tug the shorts down my legs, shimmying all the way until they hit the floor. _Well, that was about as sexy as strep. _

My movements are clumsy and my fingers are nothing more than fumbling digits, the confidence I felt disappeared the moment he told me to stand up. Christian rakes his heated gaze down the length of my body, moving all the way back up again before he suddenly drops to his knees with a flourish.

_Oh sweet fuck…._

His nose nuzzles my naked sex, inhaling long and deep. I'm about ready to pass out and he's barely even touched me. "You smell so fucking good," He growls from the back of his throat. "If I could bottle this, I'd carry it around with me every fucking day."

_Why is that so hot? _

"Christian…"

"What, baby?"

"Touch me,"

_Who the hell said that? _Some brazen slut.

"Where?"

"You know where,"

"I'm not sure I do." Oh, the bastard. So he wants to play that game does he? _Fucking fine. _"Baby, fuck."

Bending as low as I can, I take his hand and reach between my legs, planting his palm against the wet junction of my thighs. I know I'm beyond wet, I'm a second away from seeping. If this doesn't give him a kick start, nothing will.

A thumb presses against my clit, tapping gently. My body feels like it's on fucking fire. My flesh is over-heated, sensitive to the point of pain and when he leans forward and blows over the erect little nub, I'm all but shattering into a thousand pieces.

Then without warning, two fingers slide through my lips and before I know it, he's knuckle-deep and I'm throwing my head back like a wanton whore, clenching around him before he even has the chance to move. _Jesus, was I that ready? _

I'm still dazed and incoherent when my husband tosses me backwards, my legs meeting the edge of the table with a resounding thud. My hand flies out to grab something, shocked at the sudden assault and as a glass tumbles onto the floor with a piercing smash, Christian drives into me with one sharp thrust.

"That was so fucking hot." He growls through clenched teeth. "You came so fast."

"I…needed you," I gasp on a strangled intake of air, my legs tightening around the curve of his delicious ass. "I need you more, now."

"Fucking hell, Ana."

He fucks me like an animal, his thrusts so hard and deep I'm surprised the table is still standing. This is what I wanted. This is what he _needed. _The thought of Ethan still rubs him the wrong way and while I know there's very little I can do about that, I can be here the way he needs me to. I'm his wife. _His. _I belong to Christian Grey and Christian Grey alone.

"Harder."

_Like that's even possible. _If he goes any deeper he'll be coming out of my mouth. I want to touch him so badly, my fingers are itching to scratch the taut flesh of his back but I'm immobile. Faster than lightening, Christian rears back and curls his wrists around my ankles, unlocking my grip on his waist and spreading my legs like I'm a damn ballerina. I gasp at the sudden movement, his cock grinding against my walls and driving me crazy.

"Squeeze your tits." I'm a moth to a flame. I'd do anything he wants right now I'm _that _desperate. "Don't come yet,"

Sensing my need to unravel, he pulls out completely and fists his throbbing dick in his hand before tapping my clit with the head. _Oh. My. Fuckkkk. _"Christian!" I'm close to screaming, if my voice wasn't so hoarse Taylor would be bursting through those double doors with his weapon drawn at any given second. "Please,"

"Please, what?"

"Inside…"

I'm incoherent. I'm not making any sense but right now, I couldn't give a fuck. I just need him back inside me where he belongs. "Don't fucking come. I'm nowhere near finished with you yet."

I don't understand how people can call married sex boring. Granted, Christian and I have only been married fifteen days but our sex life is anything but _boring. _He fucks me within an inch of my life every single time, his prowess knows no bounds. Even when we had that god awful fight he pleasured me beyond belief, screwing me senseless and making me come harder than ever before.

At the back of my mind, somewhere in the deepest and darkest crevices, lurks the nauseating seed of self doubt. _Why the hell am I not pregnant yet? _There hasn't been a day since coming off the pill in which we've abstained from sex, yet I'm still childless. It's a morbid thought, one I'm trying not to dwell on but even now as I lay here with my husband's cock inside me, fear somehow manages to creep in and chase my orgasm away.

"Baby," Christian pants above me, his fingers now digging into the flesh of my breasts, the cups of my bikini tugged low and pushing them upwards. "Ana, what's wrong?"

_Don't do this now. _I blink momentarily, fully aware that I've stopped meeting my man thrust for thrust. If anything, I'm nothing more than a stiff plank of wood. _How can he still be hard with me like this? _He slows, pausing almost completely. His brows furrow and despite his heavy panting, his voice is as clear as fucking day and piercing my ear drums.

"Is this about earlier?"

_Great. Now he thinks I'm thinking about fucking Ethan. _"I'm fine," I clench my muscles, sucking his dick back inside and although he grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut, he's still reluctant to move again. _Of course he is. He thinks you're picturing another man. _"Christian,"

He knows me so fucking well, _too _well. Something is on my mind and he wants to know what it is. He doesn't pull out again, instead he straightens his stance and tugs at my forearms; forcing me into an upright position. His palm smoothes my hair away, fingers tucking perspiration soaked tendrils behind my ear.

"You've frozen on me," He breathes. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's stupid."

My voice is thick with tears. I shake my head and drop my gaze much to Christian's chagrin, his finger tilting my chin up to meet grey eyes filled with love and adoration. "It's not stupid. If something has upset you then I want to know, baby."

"I just…I just can't stop thinking about it."

"About what?"

His cock is still seated deep inside of me, albeit slightly flaccid now but he's still lodged in there. He wants to keep our connection. It's almost like our joining as one keeps him calm. _I'll take anything I can get. _"Us. Trying for a baby." Christian frowns again, his beautiful face marred with confused creases. "I think….I think there's something wrong with me."

"Why would you think that?"

Okay. If he keeps stroking my cheek like I'm some delicate china doll I'll burst into tears. How can he go from fucking me like a beast to touching me with the most gentlest of grazes? This is why I love him so much. He's my lover, my husband, my best friend. He's everything I ever wanted and I got him without even realising it. I've given him a wife, now I want to give him a child. _And I fucking can't. _

"I'm still not pregnant."

His frown deepens for a split second before morphing into something else completely. _Pity. _"Baby," One hand cups the nape of my neck while the other flattens at the base of my spine, pulling me into his chest as he holds me close. "Is that what you're so freaked out over?"

"I'm not freaked out." I mumble into his shoulder.

"Ana, you were a second away from passing out. You fucking freaked out." He twitches slightly, his shaft throbbing and stirring something in the pit of my stomach but I can't find the strength to chase it. Two minutes ago I'd been desperate to come, and now I could quite happily curl up in Christian's arms and cry myself to sleep. "Talk to me."

"We've been trying so hard. So _damn _hard and nothing's happened." I sob, bordering along a whimper. "I should be pregnant and I'm not. Something's wrong, Christian, I know it."

"You don't know that."

"Then why aren't we having a baby?" I push away from him, intent on breaking our connection but he doesn't let me. He's determined to keep me on the edge of this table with his penis inside of me. "There's a problem and you know it just as much as I do. We have sex like…five times a day!" I shriek. "And that's on a bad day."

"Remember what we talked about when you first came off your birth control?" I nod my head slowly, a thick and salty tear rolling down my cheek. "We promised each other that we wouldn't obsess over this. No scheduled sex, no ovulation charts, nothing. Have you changed your mind?"

"No!" I declare with a boom. "I don't want our marriage turning into mediocre bullshit, I don't want you tiring of me."

A smirk kisses his lips, his thumbs swiping at the tears underneath my eyes. "Like that will ever fucking happen."

"It might if you're having boring, lights off sex every night."

"When have we _ever _fucked without the lights on?" He's making light of this, I recognise the tactic. Make me laugh until I can't feel the pain anymore. I love him and hate him for it all with equal measure. "There's nothing wrong with you, with _either _of us."

"You don't know that."

A flicker of doubt flashes across his face but before I can pick him up on it, it's gone. He moves closer towards me and with a slight flex of the hips, his cock rocks into me causing me to choke on my own breath. Arousal ignites once more, curling at the tips of my toes and the base of my spine. "Does that feel wrong?"

"That's not what I meant-"

He cuts me off with a searing kiss, his lips lashing over mine in a ravenous frenzy. He's trying to make me forget with sex and let me fucking tell you, it's working a treat. My fingers find the ends of his hair at their own accord, tugging and pulling as his tongue coaxes mine into betrayal. We should be talking, we shouldn't be doing this…

"You don't think we can make a baby?" He pushes me down, both hands curled at the roots of my hair as he thrusts his hips. "You don't think I can give you a baby?"

"No, God no, that's not what I meant. I didn't say it was you."

"Oh, but you did," He taunts me with his dick, swivelling his pelvis and rocking almost tenderly; hitting my sweet spot ten times over. "You said there was something wrong with you, which makes me the problem. You're body is mine, _Anastasia. _It's mine."

"I know," I gasp.

"You aren't pregnant because it's not our time yet. Do you understand me?" He fists my hair and tugs with a harsh yank. I'm too turned on to cry out in anything but ecstasy. "There is _nothing _wrong with you. Tell me you understand me."

"I do. I understand."

Strained muscles clench in his neck before he drops his face, his nose nuzzling my shoulder as he fucks me tenderly. Ten minutes ago we were savages, now we're husband and wife, making love and reaffirming a much needed connection. "I promise I'll give you a baby," He breathes into my ear, making me shudder. "I love you so fucking much, Ana."

When I come, I sink my teeth into his meaty flesh and cry out a garbled version of his name. Tears prick the corner of my eyes but I know it's all cathartic. I need to let this out, fear has been niggling away at me for weeks now. Christian sucks at the hollow of my throat and as he shudders and shakes above me, I have no doubt in my mind that he means every single world. He _will_ give me a baby. It will happen when it happens, when it's meant to be.

"I'm sorry," I breathe once we've both calmed somewhat, still sprawled out across the dining table. _I'm definitely throwing those olives out now. _"I totally killed the moment, didn't I?"

"Did that _feel _like you killed the moment?" He chuckles, his chest rumbling above mine. "Baby, I saw fucking stars."

"You could fuck me through anything."

"I could," He declares with triumph, kissing the side of my neck sweetly. "I actually think I could fuck you through anything. That's how much I love you."

"Now you're just being cute."

"That I am, Mrs. Grey." Pushing his palms against the table, he swipes his nose over mine and presses a firm, bruising kiss on my lips. "Now, can I take you to bed and fuck you properly?"

"Properly?" I choke with wide eyes." What the hell was _that _if it wasn't proper?"

"A taster, baby." He throws me a sly wink and my insides melt all over again. "One big, fucking taster."

* * *

**Author's Note: Don't worry, I am **_**not **_**making Christian or Ana infertile. That isn't the route I want to go down, this simply highlights the struggles some couples face whilst trying for a family. I've known for it to take years despite there being nothing physically or medically wrong and unfortunately for many, it never happens. **

**Once again, thank you for sticking with this story and giving me wonderful review and wonderful review. They're all read and appreciated (: **


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen - Because She's Amazing**

* * *

**Christian's POV **

"This sucks_. _Like, it really fucking sucks."

"That's the forth time you've cursed since we landed." I chortle. "You're grouchy, baby."

"I'm grouchy because it _sucks, _and since when did you start keeping count of my expletives?"

My wife slouches and throws one leg over the other, her lips pressed into a thin line as she scrolls through her phone, deleting the majority of her junk mail with vicious thumbs. I cover my mouth with the back of my hand to stifle a grin. She's so fucking adorable. It's taking everything I have to stop myself from reaching over and squeezing her cheeks.

Taylor catches my eye in the rear-view mirror, his eyes glinting with mirth. Ana was in a huffy strop when she all but threw her suitcase in my face, she was a grump throughout the flight and now she's a downright pain in my ass. _Albeit, an adorable pain in my ass. _I swear to God, if she puffs her cheeks out one more time she'll morph into a blowfish.

"No more beautiful sunsets," She sighs heavily. "No more poolside sex. What the hell do we have to look forward to now? Shitty Seattle and it's shitty weather."

Her gaze drifts towards the front of the SUV, cheeks flushing with embarrassment when she clicks on to her crude disclosure of our sex life. I'm not worried though, I doubt Jason or Sawyer so much as batted an eyelid. I can't say I'm happy to be home either, but we had to return someday and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't stay holed up inside our Greek bubble forever. _Although, the thought sounded fucking tempting. _

"Thanksgiving?" I throw out there with the shrug of a shoulder. "Our first Thanksgiving together, remember?"

"Yeah, and it's three _weeks _away. That's too long, Christian."

"Oh, fucking hell, come here." I reach for her hand and yank her arm over the armrest dividing us, pressing a firm kiss to each of her knuckles. "Quit with the dramatics. _You _were the one who said a three week honeymoon was ridiculous."

"Well, I was wrong." She whines. "Never listen to anything I have to say again."

"Duly noted." I smirk.

"You're _such_ a smug asshole. I bet you just can't wait to get back to work, can you?"

"You make me sound boring and stiff." My smirk fades into a frown when she scoffs with a derisive snort." You're calling me boring and stiff?"

"I'm just saying, I wasn't born yesterday. I saw Taylor sneaking your laptop on board, and don't think I don't know all about your 'secret' emails to Ros every damn morning either."

_Busted. _

"How'd you know?"

"Your typing woke me up." She deadpans. "And Taylor gets this nervous rash on his neck every time you make him lie to me, which let's face it, it's a daily occurrence."

My head of security clears his throat with an awkward cough, Sawyer bowing his head beside him. They're both as pussy whipped as I am where my wife is concerned. She's like a fucking mistress. Her kissable lips curl up into a smirk and when she squeezes my fingers, I know she's not upset with me for going back on our promise. What can I say? Switching off wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

"If it makes you feel any better, Ros told me to get a fucking life."

"Really?" She scrunches her nose with up, dusted in sun-kissed freckles. "She's almost as obsessed with it as much as you are."

I shake my head with a lop-sided grin. I don't tell her about my perverted second in command making lewd jokes the entire time, listing the things she'd do to Ana if she had my naked, hot as fuck wife at her disposal. It pissed me off and made me laugh all at the same time. "She knows how to blow off steam."

"I know, Gwen's told me."

"Do I even want to know?" I ask dryly.

"Oh, I'm sure you already do. The woman has bigger balls than half the guys that work for you and an even bigger mouth." _Not wrong. _"I'm sure you're privy to the details."

That and then some. I'll never forget the time I walked in on her with her head between her then girlfriend's legs, she didn't know I was there. Neither of them did. Now usually, being the type of asshole that I was, I would have stuck around to watch the show. But it felt wrong on so many levels, so I left as quickly as I came. _No pun intended. _Elliot ripped the shit out of me for days.

_Speaking of the fucker…_

"Has Kate been calling you?"

"Oh my God, yes!" Ana confirms with a flap of the arms and a shriek that pierces my ears. "Blowing my phone up more like it. At first I felt bad for ignoring her, but after the tenth call in under an hour I let the guilt slide."

"Elliot's been the same," I mutter as I toss my phone in the air mindlessly, catching it before tossing it again. "I called him back in the end but he didn't answer. All I got was a message saying we'd speak once we're back. What the fuck do you think that's about?"

"Hell, If I know. Anyone would think they can't function without us." She drags a hand through her loose waves, mumbling something about dry split ends. "You don't think Ethan has done-"

"Ah-ah." I point my finger in my wife's face and wag it slightly. "We promised remember? No more fucking Ethan talk unless we can help it." Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing the bastard's name. "If it was that then Elliot would have said as much in his text. Don't worry, babe."

Taylor brings the car to a smooth stop just outside Escala's main entrance. _Nope. Not even fucking happy to see this place. _Ana must be thinking the same thing, a heavy sigh passing her lips as she reaches for the door handle, tired legs carrying her through the lobby towards the elevators.

"Christian!" She yelps when I sweep her off her feet bridal style. "Threshold, huh?"

"For real this time."

I don't know what the fuck I expected, but I'm surprised to find the apartment in exactly the same state we left it in. Is it supposed to feel different once you're married? Surely it should? The walls are the same, the cold exterior bouncing off in waves. _Has it always been this sterile? _I don't know if it's because I've spent the last three weeks in one of the most idyllic places in the world, but I've never felt more disgusted at the complete lack of warmth my home has.

_Who the fuck am I trying to kid? _This place only felt like a home once Ana moved in. "What are you thinking?"

I reply with a head shake, pecking her temple as I set her down. It's four-thirty in the afternoon and we're both _fucked. _Which isn't surprising considering we've been travelling through the night right into the early hours. Ana strokes the side of my face, leans in for a quick kiss and disappears into the kitchen; returning with a seductive grin and two flutes of Prosecco.

"No Bollinger, Mr. Grey? Why I'm disappointed."

"All out, Mrs. Grey." _Fuck, I fucking __**love **__the way that rolls off my tongue. _"This will do just fine."

I want to make a grand toast, give my wife a mind-blowing speech and make her swoon but I'm powerless to speak, because standing here, my beautiful girl smiling at me with nothing but adoration in her eyes, only three words spring to mind no matter how hard I try to elaborate.

"I love you."

"I love you, more." She throws back with a wink, her lips wrapping around the rim of her glass as she takes a sip. _Not possible. _"Happy to be home?"

"All I need is you, Anastasia." One hand reaches for her hip, gripping hard and pulling her flush against me. She's so much shorter without her heels on. She kicked those 'fuckers' off as soon as her feet touched the floor. "As long as you're with me, then I'm happy."

* * *

I knew that I wouldn't want my family smothering us tonight before the wheels even hit the tarmac. Elliot managed to throw the fuckers off and my mother cancelled the dinner/fucking party in our honor. Now, I just need to convince them to stay the hell away until tomorrow. Easier said than done.

"She's tired, Mom. We both are."

"It would only be half-an-hour, Christian." She huffs down the phone. "We haven't seen you for three weeks."

I stifle a snort. I've been away for longer when I've taken business trips. Grace Grey is nothing but a dramatic. "We'll see you tomorrow night. Ana wants to cook."

It's silent for a minute and if it wasn't for her breathing, I would have thought she'd hung up on me. "What time?" _Fucking yes!_

"I don't know, six? I'll leave work as early as I can."

"You're going back to work?"

"Of course I am," I state like it's the most obvious answer in the world. "It's back to reality, mother. For me anyway. Ana doesn't go back until Wednesday."

"How is Ana?"

"Tired." I repeat. "She's taking a bath." I glance to the left, my wife shaking her head with a smirk as she curls her legs into her chest and pushes her hair off her neck. Yeah, I'm a lying bastard. So fucking what. "I need to go mom, I'll email you about tomorrow night."

"Email me?" She laughs. "Oh no you don't, Christian Grey. You'll _call _me."

"Fine I'll call you. Goodnight, mother." Fucking hell. I love the woman to death, but fuck can she make a two minute phone call taxing.

"You're a bad, bad man." Ana snickers, her fingers flicking through the latest gossip rag resting on her bent knees.

"You _were _taking a bath. I didn't lie."

"Yeah, an hour ago."

"Meh," I shrug, a grin curling at the side of mouth. "What's a little white lie between family?"

"You're going to hell." She chuckles. "But, thank you. I don't think I could have handled a night with your family. No offence."

"None taken." Lifting her feet into my lap, I dig the pads of my thumbs into the sole of her foot and watch her face as it contorts slightly, her body raking in the pleasure. God, this is almost as good as watching her come. _Almost. _"They're a fucking nightmare."

"They're not at all. I just don't want to share you, yet."

"Oh, yeah? Possessive little thing aren't you?"

"When it comes to you, yes, I am."

"Hey, I'm not fucking complaining." I lift her foot and suck a big toe into my mouth, releasing it with a loud pop. Neither of us have a freaky foot fetish, but I still get a kick out of the way she whimpers when I give her a little toe play. "I want to talk to you about something."

"Hmm?"

"Do you like it here?" Ana's brows furrow into a frown, her feet flexing on my lap the second my ministrations come to a halt. "I mean, do you like the apartment?"

"Of course I do. Why are you asking?"

"You don't think it's…cold?"

"Cold how?" My wife cocks her head to the side, genuine intrigue marring her beautiful face.

"Walking back in here today, it was strange. I don't know how to explain it."

"Try." Her gentle voice rouses me.

"Before you, this place was nothing more than a resting ground. I left at the crack of dawn and I never returned until late, I was never here. Then you came along and…you made it a home." Ana smiles and it takes everything to refrain from kissing her. "Mia chewed my ass for weeks over how bland and stark I'd made it when I first moved in and at the time, I thought she was just being typical Mia. If you saw how much she wanted to get her hands on the place, you'd know exactly what I mean." I smile fondly at the memory. "I guess I'm just seeing it from her point of view now. It is bland and it _is _stark."

"Okay, it's a little minimalist." Ana shrugs her shoulder. "What's so wrong with that? It's your style."

"_Was _my style." I correct her. "I fucking hate it now."

"So, what are you thinking? Do you want to refurbish?"

I stare at my wife for several seconds, taking in her confused expression whey my own turns into something somewhat amused. "How about we move out?"

"Move out?" She chokes on her own breath. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Baby, we're married now. This apartment represents the person I was before I found you, the chauvinistic playboy with nothing else to care about. That's not who I am now."

"But where would we go?" Her voice is soft and quiet, but there's an undercurrent of excitement and intrigue lying there. I wonder how long she's been waiting for me to suggest this?

"Wherever we fucking want. Baby, I could be in touch with a realtor tomorrow if that's what _you _want. We're starting a family now, don't you think it's time we started looking for somewhere a little more…child friendly?"

"It's a big step, Christian. Moving is a big thing."

Not really. Falling in love was a big thing. Asking my girlfriend to move in with me, proposing to her on the Love Lock Bridge and then marrying her within two months was a big fucking thing. This is nothing in comparison. "How many times have you wandered around this apartment picturing all the other women I've been with?"

"Excuse me?" A pang of irritation flashes across her face, her jaw setting and her lips pursing into a thin line. "Are you trying to piss me off?"

"It's a simple enough question, Ana. How many _times? _How many women have you pictured in that kitchen? On this couch?"

She yanks her legs away from my grasp and curls into an upright position, folding her arms across her chest. "If you want to sleep in the fucking guest room tonight then you're going the right way about it."

_Fuck. Back up, back up, Grey. _"Baby, I'm not asking you this to hurt you. If this was the other way around, and I'd moved in to your apartment? The one you lived in with…him, Fuck I would be a fucking mental case."

"That was different," She snaps. "We were in a relationship, of course we were going to sleep together and eat together and shower together. _Your _women were nothing but whores."

Okay, that stung, but she isn't wrong. They _were_ whores. I still don't like picturing my wife with another man, though. _You fucking started this, Grey. You finish it. _"I understand that." I grit out. "I'm just trying to make you see my point."

Her eyes flicker to mine, more than once before she turns to face me fully. Her face softens and my shoulders literally sag with relief. "I used to think that. When I first moved in, it was all I could think about. But I got over it, I _married _you. That shit doesn't bother me anymore, Christian."

Wow. Not what I expected. "Okay," I clear my throat. "Well, that shit just backfired on me."

"No, it didn't." Anastasia scoots up the couch and leans into my side, resting her head on my shoulder. "I understand why you asked me that, and let's face it, did you _see _my reaction? I'm okay with it until it's thrown in my face."

"That's not what I-"

"I know, I know." Soft lips press against my neck, my hand finding it's way into her hair. "I'm sorry I snapped. It's just…not a nice image."

Truth be told, I barely had any other women here. I think Macy was the exception and that's only because she was a fucking stalking bitch. I avoided merging my two worlds as much as I could, clingy women with engagement rings and white picket fences on the brain weren't part of my world. _Until Ana…_

"So, what do you think?" I return to the matter at hand with a vengeance. "Time for a change?"

"Do you really want this, Christian? You're not just suggesting it because you think it's what I want?"

"No," I state. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. Walking back in here today was the clincher, it doesn't make me happy anymore. I don't think it ever did."

Ana lifts her head off my shoulder to look at me, her nose grazing my jaw. I'm waiting for a rebuke, a comeback about how I shouldn't change anything for her, even though it's what _I _want. She's a stubborn woman, and I'm not expecting for her to roll over and agree with me just like that. _Although, that would make me very happy. _But when she bites down on her lip, a tiny smile spreading across her face, my heart flutters with hope.

"You better start making calls then, Mr. Grey. We have a house to find."

* * *

"Welcome back, Sir."

"Thank you, Andrea. It's good to be back." And it is. Stepping into the elevator this morning, pressing the button for _my _floor in _my _building, that shit just does something to me. Call it egotistical if you will, it doesn't make it any less fucking awesome. "My office in ten minutes?"

"Yes, Sir. Coffee?"

"You know it," I flash her an all teeth grin and stalk across the floor.

"Oh, Mr. Grey? Your brother is waiting for you in your office."

"What?" _Elliot? _Why the fuck is he here this early? Shouldn't he be at work himself? Fear settles in the pit of my gut, something telling me I'm about to discover the reason behind his incessant phone calls. "Okay. We'll debrief in twenty, and Andrea, make it two coffees."

I find my brother on the couch in the far corner with his face in his hands, dressed in his tatty jeans and work boots. I'm guessing he's just made a pit stop. When he lifts his head, his eyes are red and rimmed. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, _weeks _even. "You took your fucking time." He growls with a hoarse throat.

"Good morning to you, too. What's up?"

"What's up?" He glares at me. "What's fucking _up? _I've been calling you for four fucking days, Christian."

"And I called you back! You brushed me off remember so don't give me that shit."

He drops his head once more, running a hand through his tousled hair. He looks like fucking death warmed up. This is serious, I know it. "I needed to see you. I couldn't wait until tonight."

"Figures," I grunt. "Come on then, tell me what's wrong."

I don't know what I really thought the problem was. Deep down, I knew nothing ridiculously serious had happened because Mom would have told me last night. As far as I know, no-one has died, although that isn't something to joke about. But what comes out of his mouth is something I definitely _wasn't _expecting. In fact, it renders me fucking speechless.

"Kate might be pregnant."

"Might be?" I manage to breathe out after sixty seconds of staring into space. "What do you mean she _might _be?"

"I don't fucking know, Christian, I'm just telling you what she's told me. She's missed a period or some shit like that." He rushes out all in one breath. "She's fucking hysterical."

"Start at the beginning."

He does. As soon as Andrea sets two coffees down onto the table between us, he releases a heavy breath and tells me everything. He tells me how he asked her to move in with him, and how she could only burst into tears without giving him an answer. After five minutes of holding her and fearing the worse, she told him.

"I thought she was fucking breaking up with me, Christian. I sure as hell wasn't expecting her to come out with _that_."

"I thought she was on birth control?"

"She is! The shot. You know what they fucking say though. It's not always one hundred percent effective. Shit fucking should be!"

The guy looks devastated, and a small part of me wants to knock his teeth out. What I would give for my wife to tell me she could be pregnant… But I can't resent my brother for this. Just because I'm ready for a family, that doesn't make my brother ready.

"What do I do, Chris? What do _we _do?"

I reach for my coffee and take a tentative sip, allowing myself the opportunity to think. I have two options. I could feed him some cock and bull story about how he needs to embrace this and step up for his girlfriend and child. Or I could tell him the truth. If he wanted the first song and dance, he would have turned to our mother. He's with me because he wants the truth. Whether he likes it or not.

"What do you want to happen? Honestly, what do you want?"

"I'm not ready for a baby. Fucking hell, it took me two weeks to ask her to move in with me. How the fuck can I be ready for a family? I'm fucking not."

"Have you told Kate that?"

"She thinks the same as me." He mumbles. "She loves kids but she's not…she's not mom material, yet. A child would make her miserable."

_One…two…three…four… _If I can make it to ten without knocking my brother out I'll be a proud man. How can a child make someone miserable? A baby is a fucking gift for anyone. Again, I remind myself that we're not the same person. _Just because I'm ready…_

"She needs to take a test." I try to keep my voice even. "You won't know anything until she does."

"She's scared. _I'm _scared. If this test comes back positive…"

"Would you make her terminate?" If he says yes, I don't know what I'll fucking do. Something I'll surely regret no doubt.

"Fuck, no!" Thank _God. _"I could never…shit it's not the kid's fault. It would just take a lot of adjusting, I'd need some space to get my head around it that's for sure."

We sit in silence, drinking our coffee and looking anywhere but each other. This is what my brother needed. He needed to vent, and I'm all too happy to help. _Despite wanting to rip his head off. _He tells me how Kate cried for Ana there on after, wanting her to come home so she could tell her what to do.

_Because she's amazing…_

"I suggested calling her mom, but she wasn't having any of it."

"Why? I thought they were close?"

"Sometimes. When it suits her mom they are, otherwise she's all Ethan." _Let's not even fucking go there._

"Who _has_ she talked to about it?"

"She spent the night with Olivia. We both needed the space and she couldn't stop fucking crying, I didn't know what to do for her. She still wanted Ana, though."

_Because she's amazing…_

"Just whatever happens," I clasp his shoulder and offer him a reassuring squeeze. "Don't be a dick about it. This will be _your _kid, remember?"

His eyes are blank and vacant, hollow shells behind gaunt cheeks but he nods anyway, regardless of whether he actually agrees with me or not. I can't figure out what's going on inside that head of his, probably a million and one fucking things but I know my brother. Cowering away in the corner with his tail between his legs is just his way of coping, he's never been one for soppy, hearts and flowers shit. _Neither have I come to think of it. _

"We're having lunch this afternoon. If she hasn't already done the test with Ana, then we'll do it together."

"Ana?" I mumble behind the rim of my mug. "She's seeing Ana today?"

"She left before I did. You're fucking lucky she didn't climb into bed with you last night, she's _that _desperate to see her."

Sure as shit, a text message is waiting for me on my phone ten minutes later.

**-Kate's here. I'm sure you know what's been going on if Elliot is where she tells me he is. Shit's going down and I haven't even had my morning coffee yet. I've got it covered here, look after your brother. I love you. A x **

Like I said. She's fucking amazing.

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

This time two days ago, I woke up to a perfect ocean view. Fucking _idyllic, _even. Now I'm spread eagle in a bed that's far too big for me, my husband has left our perfect bubble to go back to work and it's raining. Of _course _it's raining. Anything just to piss me off.

I groan into my pillow for three minutes solid, burying my head under the sheets as I kick my feet out like a toddler having a tantrum until I finally pull my shit together. I need a strong black coffee and an all carbs breakfast, a luxury I haven't indulged in since Christian proposed. A small part of me feels guilty for my complete lack of motivation, but the other part of me wants nothing more than to slob in my sweats all day with a bag of chips and a marathon of _Lost. _

"Greece clearly suited you. You look wonderful." Gail holds me at arms length, her eyes raking from head to toe and clearly not giving a crap about my bed hair and lack of make-up. "I'm glad you're back."

"Ugh," I grunt. "I wish I could share your sentiment."

"Holiday blues, huh?" She throws me a sympathetic wink and turns on her heel, reaching for a mug. _Damn woman knows the way to my heart. _"You'll feel normal again soon, believe me."

"Sooooo," I sing like a schoolgirl. "How does it feel having your man home?"

A slight blush creeps up her neck and onto her face, her fingers pushing a stray tendril of hair behind her ear. She's so adorable. "Amazing. Although, I'm used to it. This isn't the first time he's left me for a long period of time."

"He missed you too, you know?" I tell her in earnest. "He threatened to fly back alone more than once."

"It's part of the job, Jason and I both know that."

She's a stronger woman than I am. I can barely handle Christian being away from for twenty-four hours, never mind three weeks. I open my mouth to make a crude comment about hot, reunion sex but quickly close it again, deciding against it completely. The elevator pings in the distance as Gail passes me one sexy looking coffee with extra cream.

"Fucking hell, Ana, that was insane. Next thing you know I'll be giving a goddamn blood sample just to get through the door. Who the hell was that guy?"

"Downstairs? Oh, Collins. He's new, sorry." My best friend flies for me, flinging her arms around my neck like she's been without human contact for a week. I catch her the best I can with one arm around her shoulders and the other hand gripping the counter, purely so I can keep my balance. "Jeez, Kate. Missed me much?"

"It's not that," She mumbles and pulls back, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I mean of course I've missed you, it's just…it's just…" Flapping both hands in front of her face, she puffs her cheeks out closes her eyes as the first tear falls, the rest following in rapid concession.

What the hell is going on?

"Kate?" I reach for her, my feet touching the floor of their own accord. Natural instinct takes over and I gently wrap her in my arms, stroking the back of her head as I shush her. "What's wrong? You're scaring me."

"Can we…can we s..sit?" She's hysterically crying. Kate _never _hysterically cries.

Gail offers her a drink, already reaching for the wine despite it only being eight-thirty in the morning until my friend stops her with a shaky hand, asking for a glass of water instead. She looks like absolute shit. Her hair is dull and lifeless, lacking it's usual glossy bounce and her skin looks dry; something that's so uncharacteristic I literally do a double take. The last time I saw her like this, she'd just found out that Elliot had been sleeping with that slut Cassidy on the side.

Oh shit…

"Kate? Have you…are you and Elliot okay?"

"That depends." She lets out a sarcastic laugh, tucking herself in the corner of the couch and covering her legs with a large cushion.

"On what?"

"On whether I'm pregnant or not."

Thank fuck I left my coffee in the kitchen because if I'd been drinking, Kate would be drowning in the leftover remnants by now. What the hell? Am I still dreaming?

"Excuse you?"

"At first I just thought my tits were getting bigger, my nipples were so fucking sensitive and every time Elliot would grab me I'd flinch in pain. I'm eating everything in goddamn sight and I can barely make it ten minutes without peeing. I told myself it was nothing but then I threw up and I never throw up, not even when I'm hungover so I've put two and two-"

"Kate!" I cut her off with a boom, reaching for the hand that's viciously scratching at the flesh of her arm. "You're rambling. Calm the fuck down and talk to me."

"I'm late." She blurts out. "Late, _late. _Ana I'm never late!"

"So you're…"

"I don't know!" She whimpers. "I'm too scared to take a test even though I know I need to. I don't know what to do."

My head is spinning. Five minutes ago I was wallowing in my own self pity, depressed at the thought of being thrust back into dull reality but now I'm nothing but a gaping fish; slack jaw and wide eyes. It sounds to me like she's well and truly knocked up, but even I know how common false alarms can be. In typical Kate fashion she's gone and freaked herself out without finding out all the facts first.

"Elliot?"

"As fucking scared as I am? _More _so, even. We've barely spoken in days."

_That explains all the phone calls. _"If he leaves you for this I'll break his neck, brother in-law or not I don't care. It's the pathetic way out."

"He hasn't left me." Her fingers toy with my wedding bands, rolling each one over and over again. "He's just…distant. He doesn't know what to say to me."

"Kate, you know what you need to do, right?"

Teary eyes find mine, glistening in the light as she slowly nods her head. Fucking hell she looks distraught, doesn't she realise how incredible this could be? For _both _of them. "I almost stopped at the drug store before coming here, but I chickened out."

"No need," I slap her thigh and uncross my legs. "Follow me."

Her eyes widen as soon as I open the drawer in the bathroom, my hands pulling out pregnancy test after pregnancy test. "I stocked up as soon as Christian and I started trying."

Kate blinks momentarily, green orbs flickering between me and the array of home-kits spread across my bathroom counter. _Yeah, I'm desperately trying to get pregnant and you might be without any effort whatsoever. _I swallow back my bitchy remark and focus on the task at hand. "Have you ever taken one?"

"Once," I reply with a shaky breath. "Ironically if it was before we'd even agreed to trying. A week before Megan gave birth, I think." Christian doesn't even know that. I decided not to tell him when the test came back negative. The sinking feeling in my gut was enough to tell me how _ready _I really was without me even realizing it. "Come on. Let's do this."

"I don't know how."

"You pee on the stick, Kate." I roll my eyes. "They're all the same. This one will even tell you how far along you are."

"God, please don't even go there. I can't even…."

"Well, you need to." I snap more forcefully than intended. "This isn't something you can just bury, Kate. You need to know what the hell you're dealing with."

"I don't need to go, though."

_Oh for the love of Christ. _"Stop stalling, you need to do this. I'll grab you a glass of water."

"No," Her hand grabs for mine as I turn to walk away, fingers curling around my wrist and pulling me back. "Don't go, I'll be fine. Just…stay with me."

Despite the urge to slap my best friend for what I think is the first time ever, my heart softens at her sheer desperation. She needs me. She's chosen to do this with me when really, her boyfriend should be here with her. "He's with Christian." She tells me, almost like she can read my thoughts. "He won't admit it, but he really needs his fucking brother, Ana. More than he needs me."

I nod once, passing her a random digital test. Shaky fingers reach for it, and it's enough to make my heart hammer against my rib cage. "I'll let you do…this part alone. I'll be just outside, okay?"

She doesn't look okay. She looks terrified but she nods anyway, glancing down at the box to read over the instructions before I've even left the room. I think I need the breather more than she does. With my back pressed against the closed door, I screw my eyes shut and breathe deeply through my nose.

My best friend could be pregnant. It's something we always used to talk about; something we would always laugh about but now that the reality is here, neither of us are finding it funny in the slightest. We're both at such different stages in our lives. I'm married to a billionaire, living in an incredible apartment soon to be house and there's Kate, perfectly content with her casual/serious as fuck relationship. Yet, she could have everything I want and more, and the worst thing is, she doesn't even want it.

I need to text Christian.

* * *

Three minutes felt like three hours. You could cut the tension with a damn knife it was that thick. Now we're sat in complete silence, backs pressed against the huge tub in the centre of my huge bathroom after reading those huge results. It's all so fucking huge. Kate still hasn't said anything, she's just staring at the test in her hand like she doesn't quite believe it.

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know." She slowly twists her head to the side, her teeth catching her lower lip in a tight grasp. "How should I feel?"

"Well, you got the result you wanted. You're not pregnant."

"Why the hell did I feel so sick? My boobs…"

"It happens." I cut in. "Women have false alarms all the time."

"You have every right to be pissed at me. It's okay I can take it."

"What do you mean?""

"Ana, you're practically chewing a hole through your tongue. I know you want to bite my head off for being so insensitive."

"I don't think you're insensitive. I was just…I guess I was afraid."

"Afraid?" She sits back slightly and drops the test on her clothed lap. "Of what?"

"Your reaction if it came back positive. Kate, I love you, but I don't think I would have been able to handle that."

"Was I that bad?" She asks with a sad smile, and I want to punch her and hug her all at the same time. "How have you not hit me, yet?"

_Like I said. She can read my mind. _

"Because deep down, I know that it isn't your fault. Just because _I'm_ desperate for a baby…" I leave the sentence hanging, purely because I can't stomach this conversation again. It was bad enough opening up to Christian in Greece. A warm hand clasps over mine, squeezing tightly.

"It _will _happen, Ana. No-one deserves a baby more than you."

"What I deserve has nothing to do with it." I snort. "And it's not like we're not trying, because believe me, we're fucking _trying_."

"Oh, do tell." She nudges my shoulder with hers and for a slit second, I see my best friend; not the blotchy, tear-stained damsel in distress who rocked up on my doorstep with a heavy heart and an even heavier chip on her shoulder. This is more like the Kate I know and love. "I should call Elliot."

"Hmm, you should."

"I will. Just…give me a few minutes."

Those few minutes turned into a few hours. After Gail's famous Eggs Benedict, a pitcher of cranberry juice and three back-to-back episodes of _Pretty Little Liars, _Kate finally gave in and went home. But not before raiding my entire make-up collection and completely taking over my bathroom, stepping out a new woman with the exact words, and I quote, 'nothing like a good reconciliation fuck to break the ice.'

Because that's what you need after a pregnancy scare, more fucking pregnancy scares.

Now she's gone, I'm still struggling to find the strength to forgive her, and what's worse, I don't know what I'm trying to forgive her _for. _It's ridiculous really, Kate's the least maternal woman I know but her reaction still managed to stun me. What if that test had been positive? Would she have aborted her baby?

I can't even go there.

I'd like to think she _wouldn't. _Elliot came from a broken home for crying out loud, I don't know the ins and outs but surely he knows better than anyone what neglect from a parent feels like. Born or not, it's still neglect.

"So, how does it feel?" The sound of Christian's voice breaks me from my reverie.

"How does what feel?"

My husband places his hands on my shoulders and bends his knees slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head as I slide my earrings into place. "Being my wife."

"I've been your wife for over three weeks, Christian." I smile wide, reaching for his face and stroking my fingers down the side of his cheek.

"Not in this apartment you haven't. How's domesticated life treating you?"

"Fucking swell,"

I mumble dryly, eliciting a hearty laugh from the Adonis behind me. He looks so handsome, dressed in a dark pair of jeans and a light gray button up shirt, subconsciously matching my sweater dress perfectly. His hair is effortlessly styled into his usual mop of disarray curls, and to top it off he hasn't shaved; sexy stubble peppering his jaw line and chin. Fuck. He's _hot. _

"You look so beautiful," Christian whispers against my neck, admiring my form in the full length mirror before quickly releasing me so he can snap his watch into place. "Are you ready for this?"

"You make it sound so awful," I laugh. "I'm sure I can handle your family, baby. If I could make it through the wedding without murdering your sister I'm _definitely _all set for tonight."

"Here's hoping Kate and Elliot are on their best fucking behaviour." He grumbles.

"It's been what…seven hours? I'm sure they've made up, fought and made up again during that time. I wouldn't stress, Christian. I know I'm not."

"He called me as soon as Kate delivered the news, I don't think I've ever heard him so fucking happy."

"Would you judge me if I said that makes me want to punch him?"

"Not in the slightest," My husband wraps his arms around me once more, planting his hands firmly against my stomach. I watch on in the mirror with my eyes glued to our conjoined hands, mine so tiny in comparison to his. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Hmm?"

"What went through your head when Kate threw that fucking bomb in your face? I know what went through mine." I sigh heavily, catching his cheek with a graze of my lips as I turn my head. I'm steering towards a deflection here. If I were to just sink to my knees and unbuckle his pants… "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"You're having dirty thoughts, I know you, Mrs. Grey."

"What am I thinking about then, smart ass?" I challenge him with a sly smirk, my finger toying with his wedding band. I swallow a gasp when his own hands start their own wandering, all the way up to my clothed breasts.

"Something about fucking me into silence no doubt."

"Close," I taunt with a wag of my finger. "But I was actually thinking about sucking your cock until you come in my mouth."

This is definitely one of those times where I wish I had a camera handy. His eyes widen and I swear I see drool foaming at the corner of his mouth, not to mention the hard shaft pressing into the small of my back. Lust and desire take over completely as his eyes morph into a dark shade of molten gray. My insides melt into liquid fire the second our gazes lock in the mirror. "Get your fucking ass out there before I throw you down on that bed and fuck it."

"What makes you think I'd say no?"

That- _that _has him falling apart at the seams. He tugs his hair and screws his eyes shut, mumbling something inaudible as he backs away from me, no doubt trying to create a substantial amount of space between us. He looks crestfallen, I almost feel sorry for him. _Almost. _

"Get the fuck outside, Anastasia. I'm _this _close to tearing you apart."

I'm wet and throbbing and I only have myself to blame. I started this shit and now I have to wait at least four hours until he can make good on his promise. Four long, _painful _hours.

His cock is hard and begging for attention and when I give into temptation and cup him through the thick denim of his pants, a loud guttural growl passes his lips and sends a shiver straight to my core. A strong hand curls around my wrist and reluctantly breaks precious contact, yanking my fingers away like they're on fire. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I ask coyly, innocently even.

"Don't fucking mess with me, Ana." He spits through clenched teeth, warm breath hitting my lips in soft bursts. "You won't win."

I suddenly feel empowered. Knowing that I provoke this strong a reaction, seeing his cock hard and ready for _me _hits something so deep and fast, I don't know whether I'll be able to last the night. Chattering voices and girlish giggles move closer, signalling the arrival of our dinner guests. We don't have time for anything other than a quickie. Hell, I don't think we even have time for _that_.

Feeling bold, I slowly skate my fingers along the length of my thigh and inch my dress up, fully conscious of my husband's glued gaze. I contemplate backing out for a moment, but then I think fuck it. Literally, _fuck _it. Dragging my fingers along my drenched sex, I quickly dip my fingers inside before lifting my hand to Christian's mouth.

If I thought he looked pained earlier, that had _nothing _on this. His mouth pops open automatically, almost like he's ready for my assault. Moist fingers probe the soft petals of his lips and as he sucks one digit inside, I have to talk myself out of _not _coming on the spot.

Damn. That was hotter than anticipated.

"That should keep you going," I whisper against his mouth - the mouth that's still suckling on my arousal like a breast-fed infant. "Come on. Our family have arrived."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen - When Life Hands You Lemons**

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

"Do you care explaining that to me?"

Olivia's gaze swings over her shoulder, landing on one wall of muscle with piercing green eyes and abs that could grate cheese as he pulls a beer out of the ice-tub behind him. "Huh?"

"_That,_" I repeat emphatically with a tip of my champagne, wagging my eyebrows and pursing my lips into a thin line.

"What the hell are you talking about? That's Blake."

"I _know _who the fuck it is, Liv." I roll my eyes. "I'm talking about your little entrance earlier. You were holding hands! What the hell did I miss?"

Blushing beet red, she bows her head and tucks a perfect curl behind her ear. Her cerise pink fingernails are tapping against her glass and she's shifting from foot to foot with an unusual nervous edge. "Oh, that." She says like she's only now just remembering. "We _sort _of hooked up on your wedding night."

"Sort of?" I ask with wide eyes and a gaping jaw. "Either you did or you didn't, Olivia."

"We did," She squeals. "We _totally _freaking did. I wanted to call you but I decided it was a selfish ass move on my part, who the hell wants to know that before flying out for their honeymoon?"

"Ummm, me." I struggle to disguise the disappointment in my voice. Not because I'm not happy for her, because I am. No-one wanted these two crazy kids back together more than I did, I'm disappointed because I'm only just finding this out now.

Kate thought she was pregnant, Olivia and Blake reconciled. What the hell next? Will Mia tell us she's _engaged_?! Talk about missing all the good stuff.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Delicate fingers graze the back of my hand before she links our pinkies together. "You look seriously bummed out."

"I'm not, it's just…So much has happened while we've been gone. You could have at least waited until I got back!" I tell her in mock frustration. I may be a little sour but I won't tell Olivia that. Besides, I'm totally bypassing the point here. "I'm happy for you, both of you."

"We're still taking things slow," She leans into me slightly and reduces her tone to a light whisper. "I really hurt him before. He's cautious of me I can tell."

_Understandable. _"He'll be fine, he wouldn't have given you a second chance if he didn't think you were worthy of one. You just need to show him how much you care."

Her smile is a grateful one, soft and sincere before morphing into a small smirk. "Are you sick of it yet?"

"Sick of what?" I frown.

"Giving off advice. You've done nothing but ever since coming home."

"You've spoken to Kate I take it?"

My gaze flickers across the Great room until I locate one Katherine Kavanagh, stood with her back to me as she tilts her head to the side; Elliot's fingers stroking her cheek and jaw line. They look normal. Almost like nothing has happened and for some nauseating reason, it pisses me off. Would they be so affectionate with each other if that test had been positive? I think not.

I love my best friend, she's stuck beside me through thick and thin and when shit hit the fan with Brody, I couldn't have asked for more support if I'd tried. She's so fiercely loyal, a lot like Christian in a sense and when it boils down to it; she'd defend me and fight for me until she was blue in the face. I'd do the same for her of course, no question, but I can't fight this feeling in the pit of my stomach. Seeing the smug as fuck expression on Elliot's face isn't helping matters either, the _'I got laid' _grin plastered across his mouth is enough to make me want to hurl. Kate could have so easily been pregnant, maybe they should be addressing that before fucking each others brains out.

"Helloooo, Earth to Ana." A hand waves in front of my face, snapping me from my reverie. "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," I shake my head and muster a forced smile, tipping my champagne back with a flourish. "I'm just happy to be home."

Not the complete truth, but it's not a lie either. Grace fawned over us like a lost puppy. As soon as her heels hit the foyer, she was hot on our trail and desperate for contact. Christian just waved her off, looking somewhat uncomfortable when she started to sob into his chest and although I saw his point, I could totally relate to Grace, too. She's a mother with nothing but love for her children. I don't think she was even crying because she missed him, I think it was more the fact that he was home from his honeymoon; his wife by his side. She never thought she'd see the day.

Now that they're all here, all paired off in their little groups but coming together like it's the most natural thing on earth, I realise just how blessed we are. I miss my dad so much, if he were here I'd be the happiest woman alive but that doesn't take away from the fact that I still have a family. A crazy, maddening, adorable family. Even if they do make me want to bang my head against the nearest wall. Some more than others.

* * *

I ordered Taylor to take Gail out for the night, reserving them a booth at the Mile High because if I didn't, she'd be fussing over me and insisting on helping with dinner when I'm perfectly capable of doing it all myself. Not only that, but I _like _doing it. Ever since meeting my husband, my life has been a whirlwind of crazy. Security, housekeepers, paparazzi. It's all so surreal to me even now, so whenever I can do something relatively normal, like cooking a meal for my family alone, I'll fucking grab the opportunity with both hands.

Potatoes stuffed with cheese, fresh red chillies and spring onions are my forte. I lived on these and these alone throughout college and when I moved in with Kate, they became her weakness too. The flash of recognition on her face doesn't go unnoticed by me, a warm smile kissing her mouth when she walks into the kitchen to top up her glass. We haven't spoken much since she left the apartment this afternoon. I'm not avoiding her, but I'm not exactly making the effort either. Somehow, she knows I'm still sour about the whole baby thing but Kate being Kate, she's leaving me to cool off in my own good time. Hopefully this will show her that I'm not angry, I'm just a little off kilter.

"You just get better and better, Annie." Elliot though, Elliot I _am _pissed off with. If he thinks he can treat my friend like trash when she could have been carrying his child, that does and will never fly with me.

And since when has he called me _Annie?! _He can knock that shit off right now. Only my dad can call me that. I slam a fresh bottle of beer down in front of him, shooting a glare his way despite the fact that he isn't even looking at me. He's too busy stuffing his face with a mouthful of potato.

Christian however, does notice. His fingers curl around mine when I take my seat beside him, shaking my napkin out with a huff. A squeeze of my hand tells me to behave myself. He knows full well how I feel about his brother and he's worried I'll blow like a soda bottle. _He isn't wrong. _

"Why aren't Dylan and Megan here?" Carrick asks as he reaches for the salt.

"Oh, Henry isn't feeling all that well." Blake responds.

"Oh, God, is he okay?" I blurt out. This is the first I've heard, I'm practically frantic.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." Blake waves me off with an air of nonchalance. "He's just running a high temperature is all. He's off his food but Dylan says it's nothing serious."

I've got babies on the brain. First Kate and now this. Suddenly, the irrepressible urge to see Henry sneaks in, I would like nothing more than to hold him and snuggle his tiny body close to my chest, to breathe in his adorable baby smell and stroke the soft down on his head. Fuck, I seriously need a kid of my own. Before I know it, my fingers are rubbing my forehead in furious circles and although I can feel more than one set of boring eyes trained in my direction, I can't seem to lift my head.

"Are you unwell, sweetie?" Grace's disembodied voice filters through. "Christian, I think she needs a glass of water."

"She's fine." My husband hand is at the nape of my neck, pushing my hair to the side as he leans over me protectively, almost like he's trying to shield me from prying eyes. "Baby, come on."

He's taking my hand, leading me away from the table and into our bedroom. My feet are moving but my legs are like lead. This is just too fucking much, what the _hell _is wrong with me?

"Ana? Baby, talk to me." Christian cups my face in his large hands, tilting my face up so that our eyes meet. His are anxious, where I'm sure mine are nothing but blank. "You completely zoned out. What's wrong? Is it Elliot?"

"I…I ummm…" Jesus Christ, _talk _woman! You're about to give the man a heart attack. "I don't know, partly, yeah."

"You've been distant all night, baby. You're freaking us all out." His voice is soft and tender but that only makes me feel worse. I don't want sympathy, I want him to slap some sense into me. I'm acting insane. "Do you want everyone to leave?"

"No! God, no, of course I don't." Fingers rub across my forehead once more, I make a mental note to check my make-up before leaving this room. That's if I even have any left. "I guess I'm still not over what happened today. The pregnancy scare-"

"I know, I know." Christian palms the side of my neck, his face inches from mine as he stares into my eyes. He looks like he's trying to climb inside my soul. "It's screwed me up, too."

"It should have been us." I finally say it out loud. What I've been feeling ever since Kate stormed into our apartment with tear stained cheeks and bedraggled hair, I finally say it. _God. I'm such a shit fucking friend. _Scratch that. I'm a shit fucking person. "They don't want a baby, Christian. You and I both know if that test came back positive they wouldn't have kept it."

"Elliot promised me that wouldn't have been the case. He wouldn't have killed his own child, Ana." It doesn't surprise me that he's defending his brother, I'd do the same for Kate if the shoe was on the other foot. _That's even more fucked up. _"They've been shitty friends today, I know that. Kate should have thought about you before dumping all her self inflicted crap at our feet. Trust me, baby. I've already told Elliot that."

"You did?"

"He needed to know what assholes they've been. He's lucky they're even fucking here tonight." Christian shakes his head and takes a step back, leaning against the wall behind him and folding his arms across his chest. "Kate knows she's hurt you. You should have seen her face out there."

"That's not what I want," I sigh heavily. "I don't want her thinking I'm angry with her Christian. I mean, I _am _angry but I'm…Fuck, I'm just so pissed off." This is draining. Our bed is looking more and more tempting every time I look at it, what I wouldn't give to climb in with my husband and stay there for the duration of the evening. "Not to mention how I've just completely humiliated myself in front of everyone."

Lips are on mine in an instant, coaxing them open as his tongue slips through. Fingers are in my hair, and something stiff and heavy presses against my stomach. This man knows how to distract me alright. I know that what he's doing, but that's okay. I'll take this over all the shit waiting for me out there any day of the week. He wants to fuck me. That much is obvious; his hard cock leaves very little to the imagination, and if we didn't have an apartment full of people, I'd let him.

"You drive me crazy," He whispers against my wet lips. "Even when you're hurting, you make me want you. How the _fuck _do you do that?"

I don't answer him. I can't answer him. I'm still reeling from that kiss. My jaw is still on the floor when he pulls away from me, reaching for my hand and lifting it towards his face. A devious smirk spreads across his features, and then it hits me. _Oh my god, is he? He wouldn't…would he? Fuck. _

Two of my fingers slide into his mouth, slowly and methodically, his tongue lapping them up like they're covered in cream. _Those fingers. _The same fingers I dipped inside of my sex earlier tonight. Admittedly, I washed my hands as soon as I started preparing dinner but still, that's fucking _hot. _He's reminding me of what I did, how I toyed with him and in true Christian Grey fashion, he's returning the favour. I'm slick and throbbing within seconds, my tongue darting out of my mouth to wet my lips before I pass out.

This man has screwed me _countless _times. He's fucked every orifice of my body, sucked honey from my nipples and licked me within an inch of my life. He fingered me with his parents less than thirty feet away for crying out loud, yet this has me blushing like a little virgin.

"I haven't forgotten, Mrs. Grey. This," One hand covers my mound, sliding underneath my skirt and grazing my panties with the most gentlest of touches. I feel like I'm fire. "Is mine. Okay? As soon as everyone leaves, I'm claming what's mine."

_Oh mother of all that is holy…._

I'm ruined.

* * *

**Christian's POV**

"What's with the little lady, Bro?"

"Mine or yours?"

"Yours," Elliot scoffs with an eye roll, peeling back the sticker on his beer bottle as he presses his back against the leather of the couch. "She's been shooting me the evil eye all fucking night. What the fuck have I done?"

The fact that he even needs to ask that has me stifling a laugh behind my own beer. _Dickhead. _I love my brother, and I'll defend him to the death, but I'm merely just tolerating him now. Dinner wrapped up over two hours ago with everyone leaving shortly after. Everyone except Kate and Elliot. _I really wish they had._

This shit needs to end here and now. Kate needs to quit acting like such a selfish bitch, Elliot needs to wake up and smell the fucking coffee, and I need to make it clear to these assholes just how much heartache they've caused my girl for no goddamn fucking reason. The dip shit twists his head to look at me, his face blank and completely unaware. All night he's been goading Ana, and usually she'd be all over the banter with comebacks twice as fierce, but tonight was different. Her shoulders were stiff and every time Elliot would initiate a conversation with her, she'd press her lips into a thin line and give him nothing more than a two-worded reply. It was borderline painful to watch.

"Can I ask you something?" He jerks his chin and takes another sip of his beer. "What _would_ you have done if that test came back positive?"

"Huh?" He tries playing dumb.

"I was there remember? When Kate called you, I fucking saw how relieved you were, Ell. Your shoulders literally sagged."

"Of course I was fucking relieved, I still am. I'm not ready for a kid, Christian, you fucking know that."

"That shit was _this _close to becoming a reality today," I lean forward and brace my elbows against my knees. "If Kate had been pregnant, what would you have done?"

"How the fuck can I answer that? I would have fucking freaked out, but I'd never leave her if that's what you're getting at."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes," He spits through clenched teeth. "What's with the attitude? Is this Ana talking or you?"

"It's both of us, actually. You've been a real fuck head today."

"Look. I get that Ana has you by the balls now, but you don't need to agree with her on everything, you know."

"Fucking what?"

"A year ago, fuck six _months _ago, your reaction would have been exactly the same as mine, Christian, or are you forgetting that? You may be all about marriage and kids now but you haven't always been fucking like that."

I'm on my feet in an instant, slamming my beer against the coffee table before hovering over my brother with murder on my mind. If he's going where I think he's going, this conversation won't end well. "I wasn't married six months ago, dickhead. I didn't even know my wife so do _not _give me that shit, we're not talking about the whores we used just to get our dicks wet, this is the woman you're supposedly in love with. And for your information, I would have given anything to be in your position this morning so fuck you and you're fucking self righteous bull shit."

"Hey, back up." Shock flashes across his face, his brows furrowing in confusion but it's gone before it can truly register. "Why am I being made to look like the bad guy, here? I _do _love Kate, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone so you can go fuck yourself if you throw that at me again." He balls his fists and squares his stance. He looks ready to knock me on my ass and part of me wishes that he would, any excuse to make him bleed. "Is that why Ana is so pissed with me?"

"What do you fucking think? Not only have you shown no regards for her best friend's feelings, you all but shot down the _one _thing she wants more than anything. Good going, asshat."

"I know you've been trying, but I didn't…I didn't realise you were this set on having a kid." His voice drops to a low whisper as he bows his head and closes his eyes. "That makes more sense."

"What does?"

"That crazy fucking reaction from you for starters," He scoffs. "Ana is the most laid back chick I know, I just knew something was off with her tonight. She's barely said two words to anyone."

"She's not as strong as you all fucking think she is," I grumble lowly, my shoulders relaxing slightly. This is the Elliot I know and sometimes loathe, he's an idiot, but deep down he cares; and _I _know how much my wife means to him. It's all purely platonic of course, but he knew Anastasia long before I even knew her name, they've shared a mutual bond over Kate for quite some time. "After all that shit with Brody…it fucking changed her. It's taken her _this _long to even realise she wants a baby, and it kills me that I can't give her one."

Elliot's eyes glint with mirth, his mouth twitching in what I suspect is a sarcastic smirk. I'm waiting for the 'firing blanks' comment but it never comes, not that it would bother me, I'm not concerned about my baby making skills in the slightest; it just hasn't happened for us yet. "Why the fuck haven't you hit me, yet?"

"It was tempting, believe me. You're lucky you haven't had a glass smashed over your fucking head."

At that he laughs, folding his arms and shaking his head. I think he gets it now. I would have easily started a fight with my brother just to prove my point, but I'm pleased I didn't have to. We've only thrown punches a few times, and they've all been when we were kids. Too young and reckless to even give a shit. It's different now, _I'm _different.

I slap him on the shoulder, clasping my hand and offering him a reassuring squeeze. He's seconds away from pulling me into an awkward, one armed hug when Kate emerges with puffy eyes and a damp nose. She's clearly been crying. _What the fuck have they been talking about? _

"Ell, I think we should go."

"Babe? What the fuck?" His hand pushes back a strand of hair, tucking it behind her ear as he scans her face with narrowed eyes. She welcomes his touch for a second or two, letting his fingers linger before wrenching backwards; her red-rimmed eyes trained solely on me.

"Christian, I want…no I don't, I _need _to apologise," She releases a shaky breath and her lips wobbles, a fresh batch of tears threatening to fall. "Our behaviour today has been disgusting, I can't even…I don't know what to say."

"Baby, what's happened?" Elliot looks frantic, and to be honest, I'm right there with him. She isn't bleeding, her lip isn't cut, there are no black eyes so I can only assume my wife hasn't resorted to violence. Not that she would, that isn't my girl's style. "You're scaring the shit out of me."

"It's not what you think," She sniffs unattractively, turning to face my brother. "We should have never dumped all this shit on them, Elliot. What the fuck were we thinking?"

"We weren't thinking," He tries to soothe her. "Our heads were all over the fucking place, Kate. We were barely even speaking."

Kate doesn't buy it, she's not even listening. She looks horrified and for a split second, I feel sorry for her. We've never been overly close, but we both love Anastasia to death. Something tells me she's only just realising the consequences of her actions and I highly doubt it was anything but ugly.

"I didn't even ask her about her honeymoon, what sort of fucking shit ass friend am I?" She twists to face me once more. "Christian, I never meant to hurt her like this. Have I really hurt her?"

"She didn't feel all that great earlier," I whisper quietly, not wanting to stick the knife in any further. "She loves you, Kate, and she knows you didn't do anything out of spite. Even if you weren't all that subtle about it."

"Even now she's trying to be there for me," She shakes her head and snorts derisively, her lips pressing together to stifle a sob. Elliot looks borderline uncomfortable now. "She should be slapping the shit out of me for acting like such an insensitive bitch." _No arguments from me, there. _"I'm sorry. We both are."

"Just…be more fucking careful next time. If you don't want a kid, you know what to do about it." I sound like my father, the memory of him giving me the 'sex' talk when I was fourteen flickering to the surface. "We don't want you to feel like you can't come to us, either. We're not that fucking heartless."

Two heads nod stiffly, their fingers finally lacing together. I never wanted them to feel bad over this, but something had to give, and it certainly wasn't going to be my wife's feelings. Over my dead fucking body. Kate promises to call Ana tomorrow before she leaves, and although I feel like it might be too soon, nothing could keep that woman away from mine. That I'm fully aware of.

I contemplate giving her a few more minutes to cool off, I still don't really know what went down back there but one thing's for sure, I can't stomach the thought of my girl hurting unnecessarily. She's told me more than once how my presence soothes her, and fuck if I'll deny her that for a second longer. But when I walk into our bedroom, finding her on the phone, sprawled out on her stomach with her feet in the air I consider turning my ass straight back around again. I can't figure out who she's talking to but she isn't crying, if anything she sounds chirpy.

"I'll talk to Christian, I'm sure we can plan something soon…He's always busy, you know how it is," She muffles a laugh. "More so now we're back, three weeks is a long time…I know, I miss you too. I've been meaning to call you sooner…Okay, I will…Bye, I love you, too."

"Who do you love?"

"Oh my fuck!" She all but arches off the bed, her head swinging around so fast I'm surprised she hasn't given herself whiplash. Her eyes close in relief as she tosses her now lifeless phone onto the mattress beside her. "Christian, you scared the shit out of me."

"Don't avoid the question," I lean down, pressing one knee down to brace my weight. I can smell her from here and it's a fucking mind trip. "Who do you love?"

"Jen. I was talking to Jen."

"Hmm, good to know."

"Why? Worried I have a secret lover on the side?"

"Don't even fucking joke about that." She rolls over onto her back and lifts her arms above her head, stretching out like a cat and fuck if it doesn't make my balls ache. She looks fucking delectable, like she's mine for the taking. _Damn straight she's mine for the taking. _Her thick, grey skirt rides down her stomach slightly, exposing her taut flesh and I dive straight in. A little squeal escapes her lips as my mouth connects with her navel, my tongue swirling around the crevice. Even _that _is sexy on her. "What happened between you and Kate?"

"Way to kill the mood, Grey." She jokes with a hint of mirth. Her hand swats at the side of my head, pushing me off her so she can pull her shoes off. "What did she _say _happened?"

"Nothing much. I couldn't make out fuck all over all the crying."

"She was crying?" Ana's head whips around, guilt shining in those incredible blue orbs. _My sweet, sweet girl. _Even now she's worried for her friend, after everything she's endured today. Where the fuck did I find this woman?

"She _wasn't _crying with you?"

"She looked tearful," Her voice is quiet. "Why the hell was she crying? We didn't fight or anything."

"Maybe she just realised what a complete bitch she is."

"Christian," She scolds gently. "She's my best friend."

"When it fucking suits _her, _Ana. Why the fuck couldn't she go to Olivia with all this shit?"

"She did." She stands and hooks her thumbs into her skirt, tugging the contraption down her silky smooth legs. _Oh, fuck she's getting naked. _"I guess she just needed me. How the hell could I deny her that, she was at her absolute lowest. You know, you saw her."

"Hmm?" _Should I join her? _I'm too entranced in watching her to do anything else, my eyes are glued to that supple curve of her hips, and the way she clenches her butt cheeks as the cool air hits her naked skin. She's fucking perfection.

"Christian? You saw her, right? She looked upset."

"Right, yeah." I murmur. I'm a second away from drooling down the front of my shirt like a toddler. "I felt sorry for her, but then it's Kate. Drama fucking queen is her middle name."

"You're terrible!"

She shouts over her shoulder as she sashays her delectable ass into the bathroom. I hear cupboards slamming, and then the water faucet springs to life. Shit, is she showering? She can't expect me to sit out here if she's fucking showering. _Not that you would, anyway. _Before I can let my dick lead the way, Ana walks back into view wearing just her panties, something she always does before changing for bed. _Does she really think I'll let her just role over and go to sleep? _Her hair is still loose but her face has been washed thoroughly, all traces of make-up now completely gone. This is the woman who gets my balls bouncing the most. Tonight, she was sexy as fuck. The perfect hostess with her impeccable hair and her gorgeous face. Watching her handle my family arouses me no end, the way she makes them smile just by being herself. But right here, and right now - _this _is who I want to make love to.

My beautiful, beautiful wife. Fresh and clean without a hint of anything artificial. No perfume or $25.000 jewelry dripping from her neck. The one thing, the _only _thing I care about seeing her wear are her wedding bands. Fuck, the sight of them wrapped around her finger gets me hard as stone every fucking time. _Especially when said fingers are gripping my cock…_

"What's with you?" Ana's voice rips me from my erotic daydream, my eyes snapping forward to meet hers. "You've done nothing but stare at me for the past five minutes."

I don't say anything. There's nothing to say, not with words anyway. She takes a tiny step backwards, her shoulders hitting the vast dresser behind her when she figures out my intentions; my very _clear _intentions. I'm charging towards her like a starving bull, tugging at the collar of my shirt as I almost tear it from my body. _Fucking thing's in the fucking way. _I can't get to her quick enough, it's like she'll disappear if I don't reach her within the next two seconds. I need to touch her _now. _

Our tongues battle, fighting the other with a newfound vengeance. Our kisses have been tame all fucking night, tiny pecks here and there for the sake of my parents but now, now I couldn't give a fuck who the hell sees us. She's mine and I need her, ravaging her mouth is just the start.

Teeth clash and hands claw but it's not enough. Nothing with this woman will ever be enough. "I've been thinking about this ever since you touched yourself," I pant against her skin, dropping to my knees and kissing her pussy through the pathetic fabric of her panties. Wet already, just how I fucking like it. "This is _all _I've thought about."

"God. Shit," Her words are muffled by moans, her hands threading into my hair as I tear her thong away from her; tossing it somewhere unknown. "What are you…what will you…"

"Shhh, baby." I quieten her, breath hitting her sex as it throbs in front of me. She probably thinks I'll lick her until she comes, and while I want to taste her, I _need _this more. I'll lose my mind, otherwise. "I'll take care of you."

I swirl my fingertip around the needy nub, pink and sodden beneath my tender touch. I'm aching to slide inside her, desperate even but I know if I do, this will all be over quicker than either of us wants. She's already trembling. Her legs are weak and struggling to hold her upright and if it weren't for my free hand pinning her hip against the cherry wood of her dresser, she'd be a heap of tangled limbs on the floor. _All in good time, baby. _

"Christian,"

Ana's tiny gasp fuels the fire, driving me forward until my finger finally give into to it's desires and pushes me through her folds. I still haven't penetrated her, although I'm fucking _dying _to. Her head falls back, thick tresses cascading down her spine and _fuck _if it doesn't have my cock dripping with pre-cum. I'm goading her, driving her to the brink of insanity. She's desperate to come because of _me. _It's a heady feeling, and it makes me fucking arrogant.

"Christian, please!"

She begs. _Begs. _She wants to come, damn if I'll deny her of that sweet bliss. She's my wife, and if my wife wants to come then I'll make her fucking come. No-one else, only me. Withdrawing my finger, I jump to my feet and trace her lips with my tongue, letting her taste me for a split second before pulling away. "Get on the bed."

She does so quickly, making my cock cry with relief. Watching my girl as she positions herself on all fours, tits heavy and pussy wet and throbbing has me ripping my belt buckle apart like a man possessed. "Is this how you want me?" Her voice is thick with arousal, taunting me something chronic.

"Don't fucking move."

I'm inside her instantaneously, and it's fucking _heaven. _I could come just like this. I don't need to move, being buried in my wife to the hilt is more than enough to get me off. How insane is that? It's never been this good, not even close. Not even ten minutes ago, I wanted nothing more than to make love to her, but now the tiger has been riled, a fast hard fuck is top of my agenda.

"God, yes." She sighs.

"Is this what you wanted? Me fucking you like this."

"Yes," A growl escapes her lips, and nothing has ever sounded sexier. _Holy shit. _Her tits bounce with each thrust, the force of my drives pushing her further up the bed. Ana's arms buckle slightly and she almost loses balance, but the nymph inside my wife rears her sex-crazed head and she regains her strength. "Fuck me, Christian. I want it."

She's giving as good as she gets, pushing back as her ass meets my balls. The sound of flesh on flesh, sheet-clawing-sex and guttural growls permeate the air and I have to bite down on my lip to stop myself from coming. This will be intense, it's always intense, but this will be _intense. _

"I'll make you come so hard," Sweat drips from my brow. I'm ploughing into her like I've been without human contact for months. Fuck that, Ana is the only human I need contact with. I live for it, breathe for it. "Get there, baby."

"I'm there," She purrs, her muscles starting to contract. "I'm always there."

I come with a toe curling shudder, digging my fingers into her hips as the first spasm hits. I want to pull out and rub my cum all over her back, the thought of marking her is the hottest thing fucking alive, but I'll never waste the good stuff like that again. I need this, to fill her.

"Fuck, I love you so much." My head drops against her back, sweat causing our skin to stick like glue. We'll shower later, but right now I want this. I need to hold my naked, satiated wife in my arms and watch as she floats back to earth. It's honestly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. "So much, baby."

* * *

"Will you behave today?"

"Don't I always?"

"Is that a trick question," I snort, dropping a kiss to her forehead as I tap her nose with my finger. "I mean it, baby. Taylor will be there the whole time."

"I'm not a baby, Christian." She huffs and reaches for her tea, wrapping her lips around the rim. "I'm perfectly capable, you know."

"Well, technically you won't actually be doing anything. You're lucky I'm letting you even sit in on this."

Ana narrows her eyes and shoots me a scowl, rolling her delectable tongue around her mouth. "I'll ignore that last part, Grey." _Why? I meant it. _"This is the woman you want me to spend every freaking minute of the day with, I'll even take her to the bathroom with me for crying out loud. I think that alone earns me the right to choose who that woman is!"

"I don't disagree. Just don't be fucking difficult about it. And don't roll your eyes at me, you know I fucking hate that."

"You want to know what I hate?" _Oh, fuck, here we go. _"You thinking you can tell me what to do. I'm not your child, Christian, I'm your _wife_."

"Really? Jesus Christ, it must've slipped my mind."

"You are _such _a smart ass." Her fork drops against her plate and she pushes it away, ignoring my frown when I take note of her leftover omelette. "You know what else I hate?"

"Oh, please do enlighten me." I shake the paper out with a huff, arching a brow when she points at my crotch.

"That_." _

"What?"

"_That. _That fucking magic dick you've got swinging between your legs."

I don't know if to laugh or beat my chest with pounding fists. Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment. _I'm taking it as a compliment. _"Magic fucking what?"

"You heard me," She grumbles through a chunk of broken banana. _How appropriate. _"I could barely walk this morning, Christian. You could have let up on me last night."

Leaning over the breakfast bar, I gently kiss her fleshy lobe before taking her ear between my teeth. "I didn't hear you complaining, baby. In fact, I couldn't hear anything over you screaming my name. You left fucking indentations on my shoulder, Anastasia, you clawed at me that hard." She shudders as my words tickle her neck. I'd bet everything I have on the fact that she's dripping wet right now. "Just how sore are you?"

"Sore enough to knee you in the balls,"

Something tells me she's deadly serious, too. "Say that again tonight, baby." I taunt her with an eyebrow wag.

"Sure of yourself, aren't you?"

I'm seconds away from throwing her across the kitchen counter, fucking her on the leftover fresh fruit and bagels Gail laid out for breakfast this morning when Taylor announces his presence with an awkward cough. He looks uncomfortable as hell and we weren't even doing anything.

_Maybe it's because you were both eye-fucking each other like sex deprived horn dogs? _Yeah, that could be it.

"Morning, Jason." I stifle a smirk behind my coffee cup.

"Sir." He nods stiffly, heat flushing his cheeks. "Mrs. Grey, the first interview will be at ten-thirty."

"I'll be there," My wife flashes me a cocky grin. "What should I expect?"

"Ma'am?" Taylor asks with a confused frown.

"Less of the Ma'am bull shit, Jason," Ana shakes her head before rising to her feet, dumping her plate in the dishwasher. "And I mean with the interviews. What will they be like? I'm picturing gun-wielding, no-shit machines. Am I wrong?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Mrs. Grey," He offers her a warm smile, mirth lurking at the corners of his mouth. He's fucking lying and Ana knows it, Taylor pre-approved the nine remaining applicants months ago. Long before I even breeched the touchy subject with my wife. "My office at ten-fifteen?"

"Hmm,"

She huffs, tapping her fingers against the counter behind her. She didn't buy that anymore than I did, but that's what makes this so fucking priceless. My wife is an easy target, gullible and adorably naïve. Pushing her buttons has never been difficult. "You're all bastards," She mumbles as soon as Taylor is out of ear shot. "You know _exactly _who will be walking through those doors this morning. I just want to know what I'm dealing with."

"Where's the fun in that, my dear wife?" I join her at the sink, brushing my fingers against her ass as I load my own plate. "Just know this, they're all safe and they all meet my expectations. That's all that matters."

"Oh my god," Ana jumps back with wide eyes, smacking a hand over her chest in a dramatic fashion. "You mean to tell me that someone _actually _meets Christian Grey's standards?" She rolls her eyes.

"You do know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?" Goading little minx. She's definitely asking for a rough fuck when I get home tonight. "And you should know, you met them after all."

"What was that about the lowest form of wit?"

Fucking hell, I could just eat her. She looks so warm and soft in her pale pink robe. I'm not all that happy about her wearing so little around the staff, one wrong move and her nipples would be penetrating the thin silk, but I can't deny how fucking hot she looks. But then she always looks hot, I just can't get enough. "You're in for it later, Mrs. Grey. Sore snatch or not, it's happening."

"Snatch?" She shrieks, swatting me across the chest before smoothing a hand over my tie. "You really need to stop hanging out with Elliot if _that's _what you're calling it."

"Do you care what I call it?"

"No. Just what you do with it." Oh she's good. That little comment will have my cock hard for the rest of the fucking day. I grab her face and kiss her hard, so hard she'll have bruised lips for hours. "Oh, no you don't." She pants, pulling away and swiping her thumb across my mouth. "Go to work. I'll be here when you get home."

Too fucking right she will. That's all I need, my Ana waiting for me. I need her waiting for me every night.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen - Whispering In The Right Ears**

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Author's Note: I desperately wanted to get this out before work commitments swamp me once more, so please excuse any mistakes. This has of course been tweaked, but not as thoroughly as I'd like. Thank you all for continuing to support myself and this story. You're all wonderful!

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**Anastasia's POV**

There's this look that Christian gives me, a look that lets me know just how disappointed he is with me. Or whenever I'm pissing him off, but it's usually both. He flexes his fingers, rolls his neck and presses his lips into a thin line. Last night during dinner was a prime example. Whenever Elliot would try conversing with me I'd brush him off, ignoring him with nothing more than an eye roll; earning myself that _look. _

But this time, it isn't Christian glaring at me like I'm an errant child, it's Jason Taylor.

"Quit looking at me like that, you're making me all edgy."

"I'm making you…_I'm _making _you _edgy?" He tosses his Mont Blanc pen down on the desk with an irritated huff, pushing his chair back as he does so. "That was the most trying two hours of my life. With all due respect, Mrs. Grey."

"Oh, don't you 'Mrs. Grey' me," I narrow my eyes. "You want to rip me a new one, so do it without being all stuffy and formal."

"Well, you didn't exactly stick to typical protocol, Mrs. Gre..Ana. I thought we'd agreed?"

"What the hell did you expect me to be like?" Slamming my laptop shut, I jump to my feet and adjust the strap of my camisole. "I have a right to know what these women are like, Jason. What if they're deranged serial killers?"

"Then I'd sign you up for Krav Maga," I twist my neck and shoot him the same look he's been giving me for the last ten minutes. "Okay, that wasn't funny, but seriously? Do you _really _think I'd ever let that happen? You do realise who you're married to, right?"

"Yeah, your point?"

He rubs three fingers over his forehead and releases a heavy breath before joining me on the cosy leather couch in the corner of his office. It's much like Christian's, just a little smaller. It has the same sleek, minimalist vibe running throughout, but Jason has managed to give it that warm, fuzzy edge my husband's office lacks. I'm determined to shake the new one up when we move, whenever that time will be.

"Ana, you need to trust me. Your safety is my number one priority and I would never do anything to jeopardise that. Neither would Christian, surely you know that?"

"Of course I do," I huff, tugging on a strand of loose hair and checking for split ends. "It's not even that. I guess I'm just not completely on board with this yet, and I _know _I said I was…"

"But it's overwhelming?" Taylor cuts in.

"Yes! _So _overwhelming. You'd think I'd be used to it by now."

"You're a twenty-four year old woman, a newly married woman at that, you have every right to feel like this. Who the fuck wants all the crazy that comes with the life you have?"

"Christian?" I mumble under my breath, tucking my knees into my chest and flexing my toes.

"He didn't want it, believe me. He was nothing more than a scared kid when I came into his life, he was totally in over his head. Yeah, security was an issue, but I think he needed my guidance more than he needed my skills."

Why have I never heard this story before? Why have I never _asked_? It's difficult to picture my Christian as anything but strong and in control, which is ridiculous because he hasn't always been that way. I saw a vulnerability in him instantly, as soon as he took my hand and shot me that shy smile, I knew I'd be dealing with a completely different man to the Christian Grey everyone had painted him to be.

"You care about him," It's more a statement than a question.

"Of course I do. It's impossible not to, I've been through it all with him."

I want to pry for more, I have the perfect opportunity here but at the same time, I don't want to push my luck. My fingers toy with the fabric of my knee-high socks, fiddling with a loose piece of cotton absentmindedly. Reluctantly, I opt for a subject change before shit gets too weird. "I didn't mind the last one." Taylor's lips curl upwards, a smirk kissing the corner of his usually stoic mouth. "What?"

"I thought you did, your questions became somewhat uncomfortable."

"Ha-fucking-ha," I scowl. "I'm not saying I loved her, but she didn't piss me off like the others. She could grow on me, I suppose."

Julia Redgrave is a woman who lives up to her reputation; fiery, red hair with a fierce personality to match. Looks wise, she's a perfect mix between Ros and Fran, just that little more on the built side. She's almost as tall as Jason, and the guy is a damn tree so when she walked into his office a little over half an hour ago, I literally did a double take.

Her no-shit attitude captured me instantly, allowing me the opportunity to really give her a fighting chance. Up until then I'd been nothing but difficult, purposely making each candidate squirm in their pant-suits until they could no longer bare the wet patch under their asses. If Christian were here he would have tossed me out of the office before the end of the first interview, but luckily for me, that wasn't the case.

"For what it's worth, your opinion matters to me, Ana. I want you to be comfortable with whoever we decide to choose, that's all any of us give a fuck about."

"That's not the picture Christian paints," I mumble lowly.

"That's all bull shit. The guy worships the ground you walk on and you know it, he just likes to rile you up."

"Why do you think I act the way I do? I like to give as good as I get, I don't do it to be an awkward bitch."

He's nodding his head as he walks, hunching forward and squinting at the computer screen in front of him. Gail's been bugging him to get glasses for weeks now, but he's oblivious to the woman despite his daily struggle to read anything that isn't in bold print. It's an ongoing joke between the boys now, much to the poor bastards chagrin.

"I've narrowed it down to three candidates. Don't worry," He peers at me over the top of the screen. "Redgrave is on there."

_She better be. _I think to myself, choosing to glue my mouth shut from now on. "When will you decide?"

"I'll meet with Mr. Grey tonight, he'll want a full run down before I make any final decisions."

"Will you tell him how much I like Julia?"

"Of course," He nods his head sincerely. "But ultimately it'll come down to the most qualified. You know that, right?"

"Absolutely," I shake my head with a sarcastic smile, reaching for my phone when it vibrates with an incoming text. "Do you need me for anything else?"

"No, we're good," He grumbles with a wave of his hand.

Pulling up the text, a picture of a dishevelled bed pops onto my screen. The pillows are nowhere to be seen, and the sheets are practically torn into shreds; pulled out from underneath the mattress completely. I know exactly what this means, and I'm biting my lip to stifle a grin as my eyes drift lower to read the accompanying text.

**-Sooooo, Luke came over last night. He's missed me a LOT. I can barely fucking walk this morning, I literally have an ice pack over my vagina as I type this. One down, one to go. I hope you'll be more gentle with me. Love you -F x **

_Fran. _God love her.

I wondered how long it would take for him to cave and go to his girl, he _has_ been pining for her for three weeks solid after all. I caught him scrolling through old text messages six days in, his thumb hovering over her name with puppy-dog, doe eyes. It was nothing short of adorable. I can only imagine how wild the sex between them was last night. If the state of her bed is any indication, then some serious vampire fucking went down. Not that I can complain, I wasn't joking when I told Christian how sore I am this morning. Fran isn't the only one who needs an ice pack.

* * *

"Oh my god, this is _so _cute!" I'm grinning as I tug on the soft cotton covering Henry's little stomach, his fists bumping his chin in disgruntled protest. "Let me guess, Dylan's idea?"

"What gave it away?" Megan snorts a laugh as her own eyes drift down to her baby boy, scanning over the bright white print that reads; '_I HAD BOOBS FOR BREAKFAST, WHAT DID YOU HAVE?' _"He'd dress him in the thing every damn day if he could."

"Well we like it, don't we baby boy?" I coo in that ridiculous baby voice I reserve solely for Henry and Henry alone. My voice raises several octaves and my nose scrunches up tight, I look like an idiot, but it's worth it every time he kicks his feet out and wiggles his fingers. _God, I could just eat him._

"Here, he's missed your hugs."

A squirming, six-week old is quickly passed my way. I don't hesitate, I take him in my arms and settle back into the couch. This is what I wanted last night - _needed _last night, this connection with him. It's crazy how quickly one little boy can soothe me. "How is he? Blake said he's been sick?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about," Megan waves me off, crossing one slender leg over the other as she twists to face me. She looks incredible. If I didn't know her, I'd never have guessed she gave birth a little under two months ago. Her frame has quickly returned to a size eight and her stomach no longer has that post-pregnancy pouch. Dylan is one lucky guy. "He just needed some one-on-one time with mommy, that's all. Dylan totally overreacted."

"He's a concerned father, it's sweet."

Henry's perfect little eyes blink open, long eyelashes fluttering against his supple soft cheek. He's such a content little guy, more than happy to be passed around from pillar to post. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but you sounded really stressed out on the phone."

"Did I?"

"Ana, you practically _begged _me to get my ass over here," She cocks her head to the side, pushing her face into her palm as she braces her weight against her elbow. "What gives?"

"It's nothing," I breathe. "Well, it's nothing serious, anyway. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Hey, we're friends," A warm, genuine smile kisses her glossy lips. "You know I'll get it out of you."

This conversation can only go one way, so I tell her. I tell her everything. I tell her about Christian and I trying for a baby, I tell her how _not _pregnant I am despite our best efforts, and I tell her about Kate and Elliot. I want her to drill some sense into me, for her to say that my reaction towards my best friend's near pregnancy had been nothing but ridiculous. But she doesn't. Her eyes water with unshed tears and her chest starts to heave slightly.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," She swats at my hand unsuccessfully, drawing it in for a tender squeeze before resting our conjoined fingers on her lap. "I'm just happy for you, that's all. And sad, how can I be both happy and sad at the same time?"

"You're totally asking the wrong person here," I snort. "I'm driving myself crazy with my ridiculous emotions, I don't know what the hell to even think anymore. Let alone _do_."

"All I know is, and I'm going off my own experiences here," She holds her hands up in a defensive manner. "Trying for a baby sucks, like it really _sucks. _Dylan and I had been going at it for at least a year! I seriously thought something was wrong with me, or him, or both of us which would've been the worse luck ever."

"What happened?" I ask her, all ears.

"We stopped trying," She sighs. "I stopped tracking my menstrual cycle, ovulation dates. I didn't prop my legs in the air for half-an-hour every time we had sex. We just _stopped. _And then it happened,"

"You got pregnant."

A beautiful smile sweeps across her lips, her finger tracing the length of her baby boy's nose as he snuggles in closer to my chest. "I thought it was life's cruel way of teasing me. I wanted him so badly, I was sure something awful would happen to him. To both of us. I was too scared to even leave the house for the first two months of my pregnancy, the thought of something happening…"

"How did you get over that?"

"My mom mainly, and Dylan of course. They ambushed me one afternoon before forcing me outside. I wanted to punch them both for pressuring me, but deep down I knew they were right. I was acting crazy and over-protective but I don't regret it for a minute." Her finger moves lower, grazing his sweet mouth and petal-pink lips. "Knowing there's human life inside you, it turns the most sane of women into total head-fucks, you just want to protect it and cherish this little person until you take your last breath. I can't even begin to explain how surreal it feels."

I don't want her to explain it to me, I just want to feel. Everything Megan is describing, I want more than anything. I don't tell her that I believe our struggle is Karma getting it's sweet, sweet revenge. I resisted it for so long, refusing Christian what he wanted most in the world. I told him time and time again how much I _didn't _want a child, how I felt too young to even entertain the idea of starting a family. How badly do I fucking regret that now?

"Is this your way of telling me to stick with it?"

"Am I that obvious?" She smirks, scratching the back of her neck with three perfectly manicured fingers.

"Just a little."

"All I'm saying is, don't give up, just take it easy. _Stop _putting yourself under such intense pressure, your body doesn't take shit like that well. Believe me, I've been there."

"Dylan's good with him," I murmur to no-one in particular, kissing the top of Henry's head. "I can't help but watch them together. It's adorable."

"He's amazing," Megan sighs, her eyes twinkling with adoration for her husband; the father of her child. "I thought he'd leave it all to me, sleep through the night feeds and pass him over as soon as he shit his diaper. But I couldn't have been more wrong, he's…he's my rock. He sings to him, you know?"

"Dylan?" I ask through a laugh. "I can't picture it,"

"Honest to God, he does. Every night after bath time."

"What does he sing?"

"Living on a prayer," She admits with such a straight face, I can't help but burst into a fit of laughter. Henry protests with a little fist bump, not at all impressed with my sudden movements. I pat his butt to calm him again, thankfully it does. "He says it's the only song he knows from start to finish."

"Now _that _I'd pay to see."

"I'd let you for free," She mumbles. "It's starting to drive me insane." Henry continues to squirm, and despite my best efforts, he doesn't want to calm anytime soon. Megan offers to take him but I wave her off with a head shake. If I'm having a kid anytime soon, I need to take the rough with the smooth. I can handle a feisty six-week old.

"What's wrong?"

"Something's…what's that?" She lifts up slightly, reaching a hand underneath her ass with a frown on her face. "Oh, it's your phone! I thought I was sat on your damn vibrator."

"Okay, I _don't _have a vibrator, but good to know you're not freaked out by that shit."

She hands me my cell, stroking her son's head as she shuffles closer. I shift him slightly and awkwardly swipe a thumb across the screen.

**-Anastasia Grey, you promised you'd behave. Do I need to spank you when I get home tonight?**

I'm grinning and squeezing my legs shut as I quickly tap out a response.

**You could, but I can promise you I'd enjoy it. Did I mention I'm kinky like that? Don't sweat it, babe. I was totally on my best behaviour, Taylor's exaggerating. Oh, and a heads up. I like Redgrave. If you don't hire her, you won't be getting anymore blow jobs this side of Christmas. **

"Why do I feel like I'm interrupting a dirty sex session?" Megan asks with a wry smile.

"I wish," I snort. "It's just Christian being Christian. You know how it is."

"Umm, no, I don't actually. I can't say I've ever known what being married to Christian Grey is like."

Amazing. Wonderful. Frustrating as hell. You name it.

"Do you need to rush off?" I ask, bouncing Henry up and down when he whimpers through a sharp cry. "I can fix us lunch."

"Sure, why not. I need to feed this little guy soon, anyway."

"Oh, no you don't." I chide her. "That one's _mine. _Hand that famous tit milk over here._"_

* * *

**Christian's POV**

How can I be aching for my wife already? I've been at work for less than four hours and I've already got a hard on that just won't quit. Ever since sliding that ring on her finger, the woman has been insatiable. She's always hot for it, but even _I've _needed a five minute reprieve lately, and that never fucking happens. I swear, anymore of last night's action, and she'll break my dick.

Of course, it pissed me off when Taylor told me how much of a pain in the ass she'd been during the interviews. It shouldn't surprise me, deep down I knew she'd push her luck but part of me hoped she would reign it in a little. This is for her safety, for her wellbeing, I'm not forcing extra security on her to be a cockhead, I'm doing it because I love her. I love her so much I can barely breathe. If anything were to happen to her…

_Again. _

I refuse to even fucking go there, that's in the past. It's ancient history. Justice has been served and Anastasia is my wife. My beautiful, strong, wife. Maybe that's why I've got a constant hard on for her. Her strength knows no bounds, and her bravery has me in complete awe every second of every fucking day. I'm a lucky bastard, and I know it. _Everyone _knows it.

I'm sure Andrea's bitchy little intern thought the tent in my pants was for her. The way she licked her lips and jutted her chest out when she set my coffee down was enough to give the game away. I could have fired her right there on the spot, nothing would have satisfied me more. _Nothing besides Ana, with her legs around my neck that is. _But I'm not a complete tool, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt just this once.

She's young and working for Christian Grey. As conceited as that may sound, I know the effect I have on naïve little post-grad's like Jezebel. _Jezebel. I mean, what the fuck? Her parents never gave her a chance, did they? _Andrea rolled her eyes and fisted her hips when I demanded that she starts dressing appropriately, but I know her rudeness wasn't aimed at me. The little flirt is probably doing her fucking tree in right about now. One perk of the job my PA _doesn't _enjoy.

"I've reserved your usual suite for the _Four Seasons _this weekend, Mr. Grey." Andrea informs me, tapping a lengthy fingernail across the tablet resting in the crook of her arm.

"What on Earth for?"

She lifts her head, flickers her lashes and shoots me a glare; almost like I've grown two fucking heads. "It's the annual gala, Sir. In New York?"

"Oh, that." I mumble with no interest whatsoever. "Cancel it please, I won't be going."

"You won't?"

"Did I stutter?" Dick move, I know. But I fucking hate repeating myself, I said I'm not going. Does she need a hand written explanation or something. "My wife can't attend, so I won't be either."

"But-"

"Andrea," I warn, a slight growl hovering with the intent to bite. "Cancel the reservation. Please."

"Sir," She nods with a slight scowl marring the furrow of her brows. I know what's eating her. If I'm not going, that means she won't be going either.

Not that she's ever been my date or anything, but Andrea has always accompanied me ever since the organisation began over three years ago. Ros attends too, along with Gwen. We make a weekend of it, holing ourselves away in the _Four Seasons _for the entire two days and sleeping off a monstrous hangover. Those days are long gone now, though. I'm not that party boy bachelor anymore. I'm a married man. A _happily _married man, and if I can't take my wife, then I'm not fucking going at all.

Anastasia actually seemed pretty up for it, her beautiful eyes lighting up when I mentioned that it would be our first public event since getting married, but she has her own work commitments; and I'd be a dick if I made her put mine over hers. That's not how I want us to work, I promised I'd give her the independence she needs when it comes to her job. If I can't give her that, then what can I fucking give her.

My assistant leaves with an extra ounce of sass in her step, making herself the third woman to piss me off today. Ana has the upper hand, though. She can actually reprieve herself by spreading her legs, fucking me back with as much force as I give her. The hard on is back with renewed vigour, I don't think it ever left.

_Don't worry. We'll be back inside her soon. _

* * *

"Shall I phone ahead, Sir?" Taylor asks me while we walk, punching his thumb against the call button once we reach the elevators. "Your mother is already there and waiting."

"I'm sure she'll understand," I grumble. "She's lucky I can even make lunch at all. That's what a three week honeymoon will do to a man."

It's two-fifteen, and I'm half-an-hour late to my already late lunch. Grace insisted that I make time for my mother, complaining that she barely saw me last night. I bit my lip to stifle a scoff, worried that she'd hear me down the phone. She had me all to herself all fucking night, practically tearing me away from my damn wife just to fuss over my shirt collar for the hundredth time.

Within ten minutes; courtesy of Jason's unusually reckless driving, I'd successfully reached my mother before she popped a vessel. Her shoulders dropped when she spotted me across the restaurant floor, one hand flying to her chest as she exhaled a deep breath.

"Christian," She scolds as she jumps to her feet, tucking a strand of her impeccably coiffed hair behind her ear. "You could've warned me you'd be late, I was starting to think something terrible had happened."

I kiss both her cheeks, rolling my eyes over her shoulder when she pulls me in for a hug. "Like what?"

"I don't know. My mind was running wild."

"Well, I'm fine, you don't need to worry, mother." I wait for her to sit before taking a seat myself, because I'm a gentleman like that. "Shall we order?"

"Oh, I already have." She waves me off. "I went for the Chef's special, I know that's what you usually do."

"I trust your judgement," I flag down a passing waiter and order my usual drink, along with an iced-tea for mom. "Why do I feel like I've been summoned?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"You never usually demand an impromptu lunch date like this, not that I'm not happy to see you."

A heavy sigh passes her lips, her hand reaching for her beverage the second it's placed in front of her. "You've always been able to see straight through me, Christian." She shakes her head. "It's about your brother."

"Oh, fucking hell. What's he done now?"

"Watch your mouth around your mother," She reprimands. "And he hasn't done anything. That's the point."

"I'm not following,"

"He told me all about Kate's false alarm, _and _your reaction. Christian Grey, what the hell were you thinking?"

I don't know what shocks me more. The fact that Elliot ran to mom or because she's taken his side before hearing my side of the story. I suddenly feel ten years old again, sitting in my dad's office while waiting for my punishment. Elliot was right beside me, sticking his tongue out and revelling in the ton of bricks about to fall on my fucking head. The only thing that made it easier was his already bloody nose. I feel like fucking punching him again.

"Do I even need to ask what he told you?"

"No, but I suggest you start explaining and sharpish." _Sharpish. _Always my mother's go to phrase. _I suggest you tidy your room sharpish. Clean that mud off your shirt sharpish. Apologise to your brother sharpish. _Like I said, ten years old again. "Christian, he turned to you in his hour of need. Why did you attack him like that?"

"Is that what he told you? Fucking seriously?" She lets my profanity slide, but that doesn't stop her from narrowing her eyes and tapping her fingernails against the table. "Did he tell you how unsupportive he was of Kate? How he didn't want the child? Mom, he practically broke out into a damn jig when he found out it was a false alarm."

Her scowl falters, a flash of uncertainty washing across her face. Something tells me I've landed Elliot right in the shit, but right now I couldn't give a fuck. If he wants to act like a little bitch, running to mommy and hiding behind her ass then I'll fucking bite. Two can play that game. "No, he failed to mention that. Trust me, I'll be having strong words with your brother, but right now, _you're _my main concern."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Christian," Her voice softens as she reaches for my hand, placing her palm over my clenched knuckles. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Ana are trying for a baby?"

"He told you _that_?" That's it. That fucker has fucking asked for it, I don't care how pathetic I sound. He told our mother something I trusted him to keep a secret. Not for my sake, but for my wife's. I don't want her under anymore fucking pressure, she feels shit enough as it is. "It's private, mom. I don't need to tell you everything."

"You do when it's troubling you. Is that why you got so upset with your brother?"

"No, I got _upset _with him because he was an insensitive little prick. He couldn't understand why Ana could barely look at him, it was like explaining to a damn five year old and even then he was being obtuse." I force the words through gritted teeth, my blood boiling. "Not only that. We're adopted kids, mom. We all came from shitty lives with shitty parents." _Not so much me. _But I really can't be fucked to change my statement now. "He should've embraced it, but instead he pushed his girlfriend away and treated her like shit just for carrying his kid. _That's _what pissed me off."

"Elliot isn't like you, Christian. He isn't sure of himself or of his place in the world. Not like you are."

"Do you think I've always been this way?" I wrench my hand away, my back hitting the plush leather of the chair. "My life was a bag of shit until I met my wife. Ana changed everything, she turned my world on it's head and I wouldn't change it for anything. I haven't always known what I've wanted."

"Did you stop to think that maybe that's what your brother meant?"

"What do you mean?"

"You say that Ana changed you. Honey, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I adore that beautiful girl with everything I have, I always have done and I thank God every day for bringing her to you. Elliot," She sighs, her eyes flickering towards the floor. "Elliot hasn't got what you have."

"What are you talking about? He has Kate, he asked her to move in with him."

Mom's eyes widen, and I realise I've shared something that wasn't public knowledge. Oh, well. Tit for that and all that shit. "I know he loves her, I've never seen him so head-over-heels for someone, but they aren't quite where you and Anastasia are."

"They're as good as," I mumble.

"Christian, you haven't even known your girl a year and she's already your wife. Elliot and Kate have been going back and forth for the best part of _two _years. He's asked her to move in with him? Good. He should have asked her a hell of a long time ago, but he clearly hasn't felt ready. Do you _seriously _expect him to be okay with the possibility of a child so soon?"

"I'm actually surprised it hasn't happened sooner." I quip.

"Answer me this," She leans forward and laces her fingers together, all business and no shits given. Her eyes are piercing, boring holes into the front of my skull. "Before Ana, were you so hell bent on starting a family."

How can I answer that? Of course I fucking wasn't. It's not that I didn't like kids, I did. I adored Mia when she was a baby, and I've always turned into a soft shit around other babies but did I ever want one for myself? No fucking way. Mainly because I didn't think I'd find a woman good enough to bear my children. Another thing Anastasia changed.

"Children are a huge responsibility, Christian. Life changing. You're in a stable and committed relationship. Elliot may love Kate, but they haven't always been loyal to one another. Can you blame him for feeling scared?"

I feel like a dick. A _massive _dick. I knew all of this yesterday, but it all faded away the second they hurt my wife. Kate was insensitive, and Elliot was an asshole. That much is true no matter how mom tries to sugar-coat it, but they didn't _know. _They weren't aware of our desperation, our frustration. They didn't know because we didn't tell them. That's why Kate was so upset. She let her best friend down when she needed her the most, she pushed her own shit on her before thinking about Ana's needs. I have no doubt in my mind that Kate regrets her actions, I'm actually surprised she isn't camped outside Escala in a tent and an ass that won't move. But I still don't know why Elliot spilled his guts so quickly, surely he should've come to me first?

"What did Elliot say exactly?"

"That isn't important," She brushes me off. "He's worried about you, about both of you and he didn't know how to help. So he came to me, and for me to understand he needed to start at the beginning. Hence telling me about you wanting a baby."

Fuck feeling like a dick. I'm a jackasss. A lousy brother, a pathetic excuse for a son. You name it. I'll always put my wife's feelings first, she's my number one, but I fucked my brother over in the process. I need to make it right, that much I do fucking know. But not before I talk to Ana.

She'll still be upset with him, and she has every right to be. Even if it wasn't personal, he still treated her friend like shit and that doesn't sit well with her, but I can't let this go on. Elliot knew the consequences when he turned to mom, he won't hear the end of this for a _long _fucking time but he went and did it anyway. _Because he's worried about me. _

This lunch can't end quick enough.

* * *

Anastasia is curled up on the couch when I get home, one hand under her cheek with the other dangling over the side of the arm rest. She looks so fucking beautiful, all peaceful and adorable. I don't want to wake her, but if I don't I'll do nothing besides watch her until she rouses, and I can't afford the time. Not right now.

She must have taken a bath at some point, the damp ends of her hair a huge giveaway. Her skin is flushed and her face is impeccably clean, not a single trace of make-up in sight. Before I can even stop myself, my hand inches up her bare thigh; creeping underneath the hem of her silk robe. _That damn robe. _It's been on my mind all fucking day. My wife stirs slightly, her fingers flexing against her supple cheek but other than that, she remains comatose.

Kneeling on the floor beside her, I bend to drop a kiss on her sweet lips not once, but twice. I want to drive my tongue into her mouth and fuck her awake, but if I do that this will be over a lot faster than I want, and this is _so _much more fucking fun with her asleep. Fingers graze her sex and when I feel the bare skin of her pussy lips, I want to fist pump in the air. My sweet, naughty girl like to sleep panty-less. I should be pissed as hell with her for risking that with the staff lurking around, but I'm far too turned on to give a fuck about anything but this. _Fuck, she feels so good. _

I slide one digit inside, then two; curling each finger as they grind against her walls. Even sleeping, her body is attuned to me. Her hips buck forward and her mouth gapes open slightly, a soft puff of air passing her lips and hitting my cheek. Fuck, this is so fucking hot. I thought I'd fuck her senseless as soon as I walked through the door because despite needing to talk about Elliot, I've been horny for my wife all fucking day. But surprisingly, this is more than enough for me. I want to please her, I want to make her cum.

"You feel so fucking good, baby. You're so wet for me," I pant against her lips, my tongue darting out of my mouth for a quick taste. "I want you to cum all over my fingers, can you do that for me?"

She still hasn't woken properly, but I feel like she's more than lucid enough to respond. I don't need her to speak, I just need her to fuck me back. I fucking _need _it.

"Aah," She gasps, her eyes fluttering open slightly. Aroused blue meets molten gray, and as soon as our pupils lock, the fire in my cock ignites. That's it, no going back.

I have my pants hooked around my ankles within seconds, my belt buckle clattering against the cool marble floor. It all happens so fast, but before I know it, I have my wife's legs around my waist and my cock lodged so deep inside her; I'm surprised I haven't come out of her throat. Ana's nails dig into the nape of my neck as her back arches, her free hand tugging at the lapels of her robe. I don't waste anytime in diving in as soon as her nipples are free.

"Your tits are fucking phenomenal," I growl. "Fuck me, baby."

"Jesus," She chokes. "Fuck, Christian."

This isn't romantic in the slightest. It's raw and it's fast. Two people, needing each other in the most carnal of ways.

Skin slapping.  
Nails scratching.  
Teeth clashing.

Ana convulses around my cock, detonating into a thousand pieces before coming back for more. Her hips lift off the couch and although she should be limp after that orgasm, she's unstoppable; fucking me back with as much vigour as she can muster. This woman will be the death of me. The _fucking _death.

"Cum, baby." Her hot breath fans against my cheek, her teeth sinking into the flesh of my ear lobe. Nothing - _nothing _is hotter than my wife demanding my release, like she fucking owns it. Which she does. She always has. "I need you to cum,"

"Yeah? I groan. "You want it?"

"Yes. Yes, I want it. I want it."

Gripping the top of the couch above her head, I pummel my hips with twice the speed. I'm fucking her like it's the last time, so fast and hard the legs are starting to scrape against the floor. I'm seconds away from blowing, and when she grips my tie and pulls me down for a searing, lip-bruising kiss I lose it.

"Fuck, baby." I shudder on top of her. White heat surging through my blood-stream, my toes curling and my knuckles blanching. "Shit."

"Well," Ana breathes once we've calmed somewhat. "That was unexpected."

"Sorry," I grin, pulling out of her to tug my pants back into place. "I couldn't help myself."

"Hey, I'm not complaining. Feel free to lose control whenever you like." Sitting up, she leans in for a tender kiss, lips sweetly pressing against mine. "You're home early."

I comb my fingers through her hair, twirling a damp tendril as I ignore her statement. I'll get to that in a minute. "You've showered already?"

"Oh, yeah. Henry puked all over me at lunch."

"Megan was here?" This is news to me. She didn't mention it this morning. "I thought Henry was sick?"

"He is," She mumbles through a yawn. "Hence all the vomit in my hair. They didn't stay for long after that." Reaching for her mug on the coffee table, she checks the temperature with her fingers; frowning when she realises just how cold it is. "I must have been out of it for a while."

"You're tired," I comment. "You didn't sleep much last night."

"Who's fault is that?" A smirk kisses her lips. "So come on, why are you home so early?"

"You're not the only one who had a lunch date today." My wife frowns, leaning her back against the couch with her legs tucked into her chest. I purposely ignore the flash of her naked pussy when she kicks her legs up. "We need to talk about Elliot, baby."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen - Bridge Over Troubled Water**

* * *

**Christian's POV**

"Are you sure about this?" My wife asks, taking her loyal spot by my side as she threads her fingers through mine.

"Why? Are _you _having second thoughts?"

"None," She confirms with a slight shake of the head.

We talked for hours last night. After I fucked her on the couch; I fed her, bathed her and blow dried her hair with methodical strokes before telling her everything. I told her how I met Grace for lunch and how she ripped me a new one for my disgusting behaviour. At that, Ana turned her nose up and folded her arms across her chest as she pressed her back against the headboard.

She didn't like hearing that, most probably because she was still furious with my brother but I made her listen. Then I made her see sense.

It took time, but eventually she softened and opened her heart to me. This is the woman I fell in love with. Despite all the pain and the hurt, she always sees the light and forgives. Not that Elliot deserves her forgiveness, because he fucking doesn't. I'm still furious with him for his insensitive behaviour but right now, that's neither here nor there. We need to do this. Although, she was _beyond _hurt that he told Grace about our trying to conceive. That was something personal and private, something that we weren't ready to share with anyone just yet. Where I could grasp the sincerity behind Elliot's interference, Ana took a little more convincing.

"You sure?" I squeeze her hand. "We can go home right now, baby. All you need to do is say the word?"

"No, Christian." Ana sighs heavily, reaching for a loose tendril and tucking it back into the chignon pinned to the nape of her neck. She's still dressed in her work attire, we both are. It's six-fifteen in the evening, and I'd much rather be at home with my wife in our apartment, but I'm not. We're here and we're doing this. "We need to make this right, remember? It's already gone too damn far."

With squared shoulders and renewed strength, she balls her fist and raps her knuckles against the door. I can't hear a fucking thing, and it feels like an age before it finally swings open, my brother standing on the opposite side.

"How'd you get up here? I didn't buzz you in."

That's the first thing he has to say to me? To _us_? I don't know what I want to do more. Punch his teeth in or tap his bollocks. Preferably both in that order.

"I have ways and means, brother. Are you going to let us in or what?"

He doesn't want to, it's written all over his face. But one glance at my wife, his eyebrows arching into a point, and I know I've got him. He knows he's hurt her, I told him as much after dinner the other night. I tilt my head and shoot him a steely glare, letting him know that this is his one and only chance for retribution. It works.

Taking a step to the side, Elliot jerks his chin and braces his palm against the door. That's the only invitation we'll get, and I'm fucking taking it. Anastasia makes the first move, relinquishing her grip on my fingers before striding into his apartment with purpose. I'm in total awe of her. Once again, my girl takes charge and knocks me off my feet.

"Ana!"

The shrill voice of one Katherine Kavanagh permeates the air as she jumps off the couch like it's on fucking fire. She smoothes her hands over her sweatpants and clumsily fixes her dishevelled ponytail. It doesn't work, it's clear neither party were expecting company tonight. The place is a shit hole. The stench of take-out invades my nostrils, empty cartons littering the coffee table completely. This isn't like my brother at all. He's usually so obsessive, a total neat-freak in fact. I'm sure his girlfriend is somewhat of a slob, but he'd never follow suit. Not the Elliot I know.

"Kate." Ana replies coolly. I see she's not quite ready to forgive and forget just yet.

"What are you…I didn't think…you're here?" Now she's rambling. Fantastic. "Do you want to sit?"

"You don't need to be so formal, Kate. I'm not your mother."

"I know," She bows her head and knots her fingers together in front of her. "Elliot, you didn't tell me they were coming over."

"I didn't know," He grumbles, flopping down onto the couch and kicking off his work boots. "They just showed up."

"We have things to discuss," I'm in total fucking CEO mode, now. I couldn't give a fuck if he's my brother, I made the first move, and I _never _make the first move. The least he can do is here me out. "Baby, sit down."

She's unsure of what to do. Despite her strong demeanour not even five minutes ago, she's now nervous and apprehensive. My sweet, sweet girl.

"Do you want a drink? Tea? Something stronger?" Kate asks with a timid smile.

"Water's fine," My wife replies. She shrugs her jacket off and puffs her cheeks out, slapping her hands together before finally giving in and taking a seat on the armchair adjacent to the couch. Close but not too close. _Good girl. _"Christian?"

"I'm good."

"Let's quit the fucking shit and get to the point." Elliot chimes in. "I'm guessing you're here for a reason."

"You guessed right." I confirm, cupping the back of Anastasia's neck and squeezing lightly. "Shall I start?"

"Oh, please do," He sneers with a smug smirk, waving his hand out in front of him. "The stage is all fucking yours."

"I'm choosing to ignore your petulant behaviour, but don't fucking push me, Elliot. My patience is wearing thin." He shoots me a, '_am I supposed to be scared?' _look but again, I ignore him. "Let's start with Mom, shall we."

"Mom? What about mom?"

Ana rolls her eyes and lolls her neck, eyebrows arching as she makes eye contact with me. _It's okay, baby. He's a fucking dick. _"You told her about Ana and I trying for a baby."

"What?" Kate's eyes widen, her glare shooting to the shit-head on the couch. I didn't even hear her coming back in. She gently places Ana's water onto the table, straightens her back and turns to Elliot with a stiff posture and a pissy vibe emanating off her in waves. "You did fucking _what_?"

"You didn't know?" I ask her with genuine interest.

"Of course not. Ana, I…I would never do that. I would never _let _him do that. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I have a vague idea," Shifting on the armrest of the chair, I reach for my wife's hand and place it on my lap. I'm touching her for both our sakes, we need the reassuring contact before we get into this. "Fucking talk, Elliot."

What do you want me to say? I acted like a little bitch, we're all thinking it."

"Don't do that." I growl.

"Do what? I'm admitting it, aren't I? What fucking more do you want?"

"I want you to cut the shit and tell us the truth. We're trying to help you."

At that he scoffs and throws his head back, closing his eyes with an irritated huff. We're clearly inconveniencing him by being here, but I couldn't give a flying fuck. I think this is the longest we've gone without communicating properly and I'm sure that Ana and Kate have never fought like this. Kate looks ready to burst into tears at any given second. I thought she would drop to her knees and kiss Anastasia's feet when we first walked in here.

"I didn't know what else to do," He starts, his voice a quiet whisper. "This shit goes beyond Kate's pregnancy scare. I know we acted like assholes, we bombarded you with our fucking bullshit and our behaviour towards each other was disgusting." He stops to take a breath, glancing at his girlfriend and jerking his chin but she doesn't move. She just stands there with her gaze fixed on my wife, no doubt trying to read her. "But it wasn't…it wasn't _just _that was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ana," Elliot turns to my girl, leaning forward and clasping his hands together as he braces his arms against his knees. "The way I treated Kate pissed you off, I knew that instantly. But there's something else, you looked genuinely hurt."

"Of course I was. You left my friend to deal with it alone, Elliot. Why do you think she even came to me in the first place?"

"You're my best friend." Kate whispers as she takes a step forward, folding her arms across her chest in an attempt to protect herself. "I came to you because I needed you."

"Don't do that, Kate. _Don't _defend him when he hurt you. Or were you faking those tears?"

"No, of course not." Kate looks horrified. "I would never lie to you, Ana. Surely you know me better than that."

"We're getting off track here," I decide to cut in. The tension in this room is building tenfold, and that's not what we came here to do. "It doesn't matter why Ana was pissed at you, she had every right to be. I want to know why you told Mom? The _truth _this time."

Elliot jumps to his feet with a growl. For a second, I think he's about to lunge for me but when he turns with a pained expression on his face, I realise that's the furthest thing from his mind. "I told her because I'm worried about you. Both of you."

"Why are you worried?"

"You're trying for a kid, and I get that you wanted to keep it a secret. But…"

"But what?" My tone is gentle, almost like I'm talking to a small child instead of the fully-grown thirty-year old man in front of me. "Elliot?"

"You're letting it control you."

Well. I can't say I was expecting that_. _Neither was Ana, judging by the tiny gasp that leaves her throat. This isn't news to me, though. We _are _letting this control us, despite our best efforts not to let it. After she broke down in Greece, baring her worst fears to me; I promised myself that I'd never let it happen again. But then the proverbial hit the fan once we returned home and for the second time in less than two weeks, my wife feels like a failure.

"Elliot, I don't think you should-"

"No, Kate. He asked so I'm telling him." With both hands on his hips, he turns to face me head on but not before glancing at Anastasia, allowing his gaze to settle on her for more than a quick second. "You want a baby. You want a baby so badly that the thought of us having one made you sick."

"No." Ana leans forward, determination marring her beautiful face. That hit a fucking button. "The thought of you having a child and not _wanting_ it made us sick."

"We would have wanted it," Kate decided to speak up, miraculously finding her voice. "It was just a shock, that's all. We weren't planning on-"

"Getting pregnant, yeah I fucking know." Even _I'm _taken aback by the amount of disdain dripping from my wife's voice, so I'm not at all surprised when Kate turns her face away and covers her mouth with her hand. Maybe she wasn't as ready for this as I thought. "Do you know what, I'm already over that. I've accepted the fact that you don't want children, Kate. But _please _don't insult me by standing there and insisting that you wanted that baby. I _know _you, remember."

"Enough of what we wanted. I'm only telling you the fucking truth, Ana. That's what you came here for, right?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Ana bites back.

"Baby, maybe we should-"

"No, Christian." She stands abruptly, holding her hand up to silence me. "Controlling us? Do you fucking agree with him or something?" I don't answer her. I can't answer her. The last thing I want to do is lie to the woman I love, but if I tell her the truth I'll hurt her. So I opt for radio silence. "Christian?"

"This is my point exactly," Elliot takes a confident step forward. "Ana, this isn't _you_. You don't do this."

"Do what, exactly? Stand my ground? Argue my case? I think you'll find I've always been this way, Elliot. This isn't anything new."

"You don't turn against the people you love like this. It's not in your nature, babe."

"Ana, let's go somewhere quiet and talk." Kate reaches for her friend, but the second she steps within three feet of my wife, Ana stumbles backwards and falls into my chest. That move was intentional, sure as shit. "Please?"

"That's enough. I didn't bring her here for you to fucking corner her like this, so back the fuck off before I do something I'll regret." I'm slowly burning. I came here to make things right, to fix this god awful situation we've found ourselves in. This isn't what I wanted, or fucking needed for that matter. "We're going nowhere with this."

"You can't leave," Elliot almost looks pained.

"We're not," I respond gruffly. "We just…I need a minute with my wife. Alone."

Nobody moves. Nobody breathes. This is just plain fucking awkward.

"I'll fix us a drink. A _proper _drink."

Good old Kate. Always the first to pretend like everything is normal. The second my brother and his girlfriend are out of ear-shot, I pull Anastasia against me and hold her close to my chest, fingers stroking the soft skin at the nape of her neck. "Do you want to leave?"

"I don't know what I want anymore," She mumbles into my shirt. "Do you agree with him? Am I turning into a cold-hearted bitch?"

"Baby, no-one could accuse you of being cold-hearted."

"Oh, so just a bitch then." She pulls back with an eye roll before swiping her palm against my jacket, mumbling something about make-up stains and dry cleaning. "Is this controlling us?"

"I don't think it's healthy, but controlling is a little too strong."

"Maybe he's right." She releases a heavy breath and rocks on the heel of her shoes. "Maybe he's just saying what I've already been thinking."

"Elliot doesn't know a fucking thing. He's just mouthing off."

"Is he? That's why he told Grace, Christian. He thinks this is taking over our lives." She takes a step back, running a hand over her forehead with irritated strokes. "This is just something else telling us to stop."

"Stop? Stop what?"

"Trying for a baby. Ever since we started this thing, we've had nothing but shit luck and for what? We're not even pregnant. What if we _never _get pregnant?"

I don't think I can listen to this again. I already know how little she thinks of herself, I don't need to hear the same speech for a second time. This is ridiculous. We've just got fucking married! We should be at our happiest, not stressing over this shit time and time again. I blame no-one but myself, I _forced _her into this. She hadn't even considered having children until I planted the fucking seed. "Baby, this is something we need to discuss in private. We can go. Do you want to go?"

She opens her mouth to speak, but before she can tell me what she wants, Kate and Elliot re-emerge, looking like two lambs to the slaughter. I spot it first, but it's Anastasia who releases a soft chuckle. Her eyes glittering with mirth.

"What the fuck is that?" I ask with a snort.

"Tequila Sunrise." She shrugs her shoulders, flicking her wrist at the glasses on the table like it's the most obvious answer in the world.

"Looks like piss to me."

"Well, tequila and OJ is all we've got. Take it or leave it, Grey." Finally, a glint of the real Katherine Kavanagh shines through. All this sobbing bullshit was starting to grate on me something chronic. She knows it. The smug smirk on her face confirming as much. "So what now? Are we going to spend the night fighting like little bitches, are can we just get drunk and hash this out once and for all?

Ana side steps me, brushing her hand against my chest before leaning forward and reaching for a tall glass of said looking piss. She lifts the rim to her lips and inhales. "These better be as strong as I remember."

* * *

As I predicted, the tension lifts once the drinks start flowing. Thank fuck. It was getting beyond unbearable. Elliot continues to shoot the odd dagger my way, but that's okay. I've no doubt pissed all over his plans to fuck Kate all night. Not that I give a shit, he's lucky I haven't torn his balls off for running to Mommy.

_But you know why he did that. _

True. I do know why he did it. I just wish he came to me _before _he did it. That would have saved a whole lot of heartache and a shit load of hassle. Neither one of us want to be doing this, I can think of a hundred and one other better things I could be doing with my evening. _And they all revolve around my wife, naked and wet with her legs spread. _

I turn my attention to Ana, watching as she flexes her legs out in front of her. She reaches for the tie holding her hair in place and gives it a sharp yank, her dark waves tumbling around her tits in the most erotic way. Fuck, she's fucking irresistible. Even here with people around us, I want her like I've never wanted her before. Although, I don't know what's going on in that beautiful head of hers. One minute, she's looking at Kate like she wants to kill her. The next, she's huddled close to her and giggling at something she says whilst glaring at Elliot. This is fucked up and then some, either that or this Tequila Sunrise is really fucking strong.

"Where's the bourbon?" I flick my gaze towards my brother.

"All out," He responds. Swirling the final remainder of his pussy drink around his mouth. "Sorry. If I knew you were coming, I would've stocked up…"

"Is that another dig?"

"Depends how you decide to take it."

"Is this what you want to do all night? Or can we fucking talk properly? That _is _what I came here to do after all."

He glances to the left, jerking his head at our girls who remain unaware of our conversation. "They're finally getting along without death glares and snide remarks. I don't think we should start this shit up again."

"Who said anything about starting the shit? You're the one who's acting like a spoilt bitch."

"Not here," He grunts and stretches an arm over his head as he rises to his feet. "Outside."

"You live on the tenth fucking floor."

"I mean outside on the balcony, fuckhead."

I follow him, albeit reluctantly. Ana frowns when she spots me leaving the room, her fingers curled around her third empty glass of the night.

"Don't worry," I mouth, flashing her a panty-dropping wink and grinning to myself when she flushes profusely; only to snap out of her mindless ogle when Kate jabs her in the ribs with her elbow.

"How will this end exactly? One of us thrown over the ledge like we're in some corny heist movie?"

"What's with all the fucking wit?" He shoots me a look over his shoulder, bracing his elbows against the railing and releasing a breath. "You've barely spoken to me for three days and now you're joking like fuck all's happened."

"Quit the dramatics." I slap a hand over his shoulder and squeeze, giving him a slight shake before joining him in the exact same position. Seattle twinkles beneath our feet and although the view isn't anywhere near as incredible as the one we have at Escala, it still twinkles none the less. "Look, I get it. I get why you told mom."

"You do?"

"It pissed me off at first, don't get me wrong. I was ready to lay you out when she told me that she knew. But then I thought about it, _really _thought about it."

"Yeah? What did you come up with?"

"You care about me."

Elliot scoffs and shakes his head back and forth, flexing his fingers before lacing them together in front of him. "Fucking what?"

"Don't deny it. You've already made a dick out of yourself tonight, just admit it. You _care _about me."

"You've turned into a fucking pussy. Marriage has turned you into a _pussy_."

"Maybe," I shrug one shoulder. "Or maybe I've always been this way and Ana's just dragged it out of me."

"Oh yeah?" He pulls himself off the railing and jabs a finger into his chin, right on the scar I left when we were kids. "I beg to differ, brother. _You _did that, remember?"

I do remember. We were in the middle of one of our fights, our pathetic fights that had no real meaning behind it, when I decided to punch him a little too hard. He landed face first, his jaw hitting the sharp corner of the kitchen counter. I don't know why I did it, I can't even remember what we were fighting about. But I do remember my mother refusing to speak to me for days on end, she couldn't even look at me. Not that I could blame her. I knocked him out cold, I seriously thought I'd killed him for one terrifying second. That was as bad as it ever got.

I don't know why he's crying over it now though. Elliot's learned to love that scar over the years, making it his 'pussy pulling tool'. I left him to it of course, relieved he'd finally dropped the subject and used the thing to his advantage.

"We fought for years, Christian. You fucking hated me growing up."

"I didn't hate you. I was just a fucked up kid who didn't know what to do with all the anger. _You _goaded me every single time and you know it."

He looks at me for a second, nodding his head before turning his attention back to the view. "Yeah, I can't really argue with that. It doesn't make you any less of a dick though." Silence looms for several minutes, stretching over us like an uncomfortable, itchy as fuck blanket. We've never needed to do this before. Heart to hearts aren't our thing and I don't think they ever will be. "Okay, I'll bite. I told mom because I care."

"About?" I ask, deciding to drag it out a little longer.

"You. Fucking ass." He shakes his head and swipes a hand across his mouth, dragging his fingers through his messy hair. "And I care about Ana. I care about her a lot."

"I know that."

"Mom just…_knows, _okay? I told her because I needed her. I swear to god if you ever tell her that I'll fuck you up in your sleep." His voice drops to a whisper - a deathly whisper laced with a hint of humour. "She knew something was wrong and I couldn't fucking lie to her, she did that wide-eyed _glare _thing. Never fucking fails."

"So you told her just to shut her up?"

"No. Yes. Fucking maybe," He grunts into his palm before biting down hard on his balled up fist. "At first it was that, but then I realised just how much I wanted her to know. No-one can get through to you like she can."

"She does have ways," I sigh.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that back there. I've fucking hurt her again, haven't I?"

"Don't worry about it. She actually agrees with you." _Even if it does rip my heart in half listening to her. _"We've let the whole baby thing take over. I'll be the first to admit that."

"I don't get why though?" Elliot twists and cocks his hip against the railing, crossing one ankle over the other. "You've been trying for what? Two months?"

"Give or take a few weeks," I grumble.

"Then why are you stressing out over this so fucking much? You do realise how long it can take for a chick to get pregnant, right?"

"You _do_?"

"I know stuff," He wags an eyebrow. "I'm just saying…anyone would think you've been going at it for years instead of weeks. What's the rush?"

"I can't explain it." But I need to try. Pushing myself off the rail, I turn my back and face the double doors leading to Elliot's living room. I can vaguely make out Kate's feet in the distance, her toes curling as she kicks her legs out from her position on the floor. "She didn't even want a kid, Ell. Did you ever think it would be _me _broaching the subject of a family?"

He puffs his cheeks out and shoves a hand in his pocket. I'll take his silence as a big fat fucking no. "I ignored her for days when she first told me she didn't want to try. She wouldn't come off her birth control and it fucking infuriated me, I couldn't understand why she didn't want a baby with me. It's safe to say I took it fucking personally."

"That woman loves the dick off you, jack ass."

"I know that _now._ But it still hit a raw nerve." Elliot shakes his head with a half-smile, winding his hand and motioning for me to continue. "When she eventually agreed, I thought all my fucking Christmases had come at once." I grin to myself, recalling the moment she told me she wanted a baby while I held our best friends' baby for the first time. So beautifully fitting I wanted to cry on the fucking spot. "It might have only been a few weeks, but when I tell you it feels like a lifetime, I mean it. Our emotions are sky fucking high."

"Okay," He nods his head. "I get that. That's why I want to help."

"Yeah?" I ask lamely.

"Don't sound so surprised," He replies with a smirk. "Why _do _you sound surprised?"

"Because I've been an asshole." I answer honestly. "I haven't supported you when you needed me, so why should you support me?"

"I deserved the cold shoulder," He shrugs. "I treated Kate like shit and I know it. That's why I've been so fucking defensive, I didn't want to prove Ana right so I acted like a cock."

"You _have _met my wife, right?" I smirk. "It wouldn't have mattered if you proved her right or not, it wouldn't have altered her decision."

"Fuck, do I know that." He shakes his head with wide eyes. "She must be a fucking _fireball _in bed."

"Watch it," I growl, but I'm smiling despite myself when a loud laugh erupts from his chest. "I'll still knock you on your ass."

"I'd like to see you try."

Relief washes over me instantaneously. I don't tell him as much, but I've fucking hated going at it with my brother like this. We may have fought like we hated each other growing up, but other than the shit storm that was Brody, we haven't shared a crossed word in almost fifteen years. It might sound lame, fuck I _feel _lame admitting it, but it's nothing short of the truth.

"Back to the serious though, bro." He pats my arm. "Will you be okay? You and Ana?"

"Of course we will," I scoff. "We just need to calm this shit down and take it easy for a while."

"What if you don't get pregnant? What then?"

"Oh we will," I tell him with steely confidence, because that's what I feel, confident. "I won't stop until we do. It just…it might take a little longer than we both thought it would." A snort erupts from his throat, and then it turns into a full on fucking belly laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Aaah," He sighs, tilting his head back. "You really thought you and your super sperm would knock the little lady up straight away, didn't you?"

"No." _Yes. _

"You fucking did. It's written all over your face, brother. You can't kid a kidder."

"I didn't think that, I'm not that fucking naive." _I am. I totally am. _"I know how long this shit can take sometimes."

"But not for you, not for Christian Grey." He wags a cocky eyebrow, clucking his tongue as a smug smirk spreads across his face. Fucker's loving this. Although, I know I'd be the same if the shoe was on the other foot. I'm just grateful we're not sneering at each other anymore, this feels good. "Man, what I'd give to be inside your head."

"Yeah? Cause' you're so fucking perfect. You didn't knock your girlfriend up, either." Elliot scrunches his face up and cocks his hip.

"Thank fuck. Small mercies and all that," He flicks his hand. "Don't tell Ana I said that. I'd miss my balls too much."

We fall into a comfortable rhythm, throwing our typical banter back and forth. It's strange to think we weren't even talking an hour ago. Well, we weren't talking properly anyway. This is good, this is what I wanted. Elliot slopes back inside for a refill, but this time he returns with two tumblers; filled with a familiar looking amber liquid. I sink into a chair facing the balcony and snort my response, glaring at him when he shrugs his shoulders in return.

"I didn't lie. This is just Jack Daniels."

"It's better than that orange looking piss."

"That orange looking piss made you wobble on your feet." _Did fucking not. _He slides a glass across the table, clinking the two together when I hold mine up slightly. "Hey, I've just thought. Are we in the usual suite this weekend?"

"Huh?"

"New York," He almost sings. "Don't tell me you've fucking forgotten?"

"Oh, yeah that." I mumble dryly. "We're not going."

Elliot's eyes widen slightly, all colour draining from his face. Fucking hell. Anyone would have thought I'd told him his dog has just died. "Excuse fucking you?"

"We're not going. Not this year."

"Why the fuck not?." This is the highlight of Elliot's year. How the hell could I have forgotten. He bugs me every fucking time, even when I try avoiding the subject, he hovers over me like a fly around shit. Last year was the worst. He got so fucking wasted, I considered disowning him for one hot minute. It was fucking _embarrassing. _"You're passing up on open bar? What gives?"

"Ana can't make it," I admit with a casual shrug. "I'm not fucking going without her."

"It's one night!" He slaps a hand across his cheek, sagging in the chair like a sack of shit. "Surely you can tear yourself away for twenty-four hours?"

"It's not even that." _It is. You know it most definitely fucking is. _"We're married now, Ell. What would it fucking look like if I showed up without my wife?"

He chews on his lip, no doubt trying to think of a comeback, but there isn't one. He knows I'm right. "Okay, fair enough. I juts don't get why the fucking media make such a big deal out of shit like that? Couples attend parties without each other all the time. So fucking what? It doesn't mean you're a step away from divorce."

I don't tell him that I don't _want _to attend this party without Anastasia. I keep that nugget of information to myself. It just wouldn't feel right, I'd hate every fucking minute of it. Before, I went purely because I needed to. It was required of me, I needed to play and look the part. So I sipped the champagne and I let all the ass kissers dry hump me for the night. Women threw themselves at me, some attention I welcomed, some I didn't. Now, I don't need that fucking shit. I love my wife, and the thought of spending the weekend without her for no apparent reason doesn't sit well with me.

As I swirl my glass of Jack, my mind wanders back to yesterdays conversation with my mother, her words flitting to the forefront of my brain.

_Elliot isn't like you, Christian.  
__Elliot may love Kate, but they haven't always been loyal to one another.  
__He isn't sure of himself or of his place in the world, not like you are. _

Fuck, she's good. I don't know how I didn't see it before, but a child would have been catastrophic for my brother. He doesn't even see the harm in a boozy weekend without his girlfriend, surrounded by women who want nothing more than to give him a blow job in a deserted bathroom stall. How in the hell could he possibly be ready for fatherhood? I smirk at the thought.

"You wouldn't mind going without Kate?"

"Fuck no," His eyes widen. "I mean don't get me wrong, I love her, but she'd go bat shit as soon as a chick so much as looked in my direction. That's not my idea of fucking fun.

Case. Point. Proven.

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

"Do you think they're killing each other?"

"Elliot wasn't bleeding when he came in for a drink, so my guess is no." Kate pulls her hair out of it's ponytail, running her fingers through her locks before piling it all back into a messy bun. "Do you think we should go out there?"

"No," I mumble. "I'm sure they're fine."

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hate - _hate _arguing with my best friend, but I hate the silent treatment even more. Not talking to her these past few days has done nothing but bother me. Everything has felt off and out of synch. I've hated every single minute of it.

Where my feud had been focused on Elliot and Elliot alone, Kate slowly started to change that. She _knew _I was upset, the moment that pregnancy test came back negative, she knew it did something to me. I blatantly ignored her boyfriend throughout an entire evening, and yet she did nothing. She hasn't called, she hasn't text, she hasn't done anything. Granted, I didn't reach out to her either, but surely that shouldn't have mattered. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would have been the first to break the ice. The fact that she didn't cut like a bitch.

I didn't _want _to stick around for tequila and a cosy chat, I just wanted to make amends and get the hell out. Elliot's comments left a sore spot and it's something I need to discuss with my husband alone. But when Kate looked up at me with those big, puppy dog eyes; pleading with me to stay and hash this out, I caved. I caved big time.

Now here we are. Over an hour later, slightly tipsy and back on the same path. I can't believe it was that easy.

"You'd make an amazing mom, Steele." She murmurs through a mouthful of chips, her baby finger swiping at the corner of her lips.

"Grey." I correct her with a smirk. "And I'm not so sure. I mean, I want it more than anything. I want it crazy bad, but I don't know if I'd be any good at it."

"Are you joking?" Slapping her thighs, she pushes away the half empty bag and turns to face me. My ass is starting to ache from sitting on the floor, but I'm too content to even contemplate moving. "Do you remember Rick? The guy I dated before Elliot came on the scene?"

Ugh. How could I forget Rick the Dick. I hated him from the word go, he just…rubbed me the wrong way. He spoke to her like shit and treated her even worse, almost like she was his very own sex toy for the taking. They were together for a few weeks at the most, but it was still a few weeks longer than I liked.

"As if I'd forget. The thought of him repulses me even now." I literally shudder, goosebumps appearing down the length of my bare arms. "Do you remember what he did at your birthday party?"

Now it's Kate's turn to shudder. I doubt that's something she'll forget anytime soon. Every year for Kate's birthday, for as long as I've known her, we would always throw a huge get together. They were _wild. _Body shots, table dancing, you name it. Christian would flip his shit if he ever found out. Not that I ever did anything sordid because I didn't, I was totally anti-men and that wasn't changing anytime soon, but I still knew how to have a good time. I've been known to drink guys under the table and then some, but that's as far as it ever went.

Rick had been ignoring Kate all night. He insulted her outfit, gave her ass a derogative slap in front of his dickhead friends, and then he flirted with anything in a dress. All in front of his girlfriend of course. But that wasn't even the worst of it.

I can still remember her face when she pulled me aside halfway through the night. She looked like she'd seen a ghost, her once impeccable complexion turned pale and sallow and she was on the verge of tears. Kate _never _cried. Not once. She'd walked in on Rick fucking another woman, but not just any woman, one of her high school friends; Brooke. In her _bed. _

I saw red. I didn't even think twice about storming into Kate's room. I _especially _didn't think twice about jabbing my foot into the side of the assholes ribs as he tried to cover himself. He wasn't even the source of my ire, not really. I'd always known he was no good, it was Kate's skanky little _friend _who really pissed me the fuck off. The adrenalin pumping through my veins was insane, I felt nothing besides rage and the need for serious revenge.

I curled a fist into her ratty weave and dragged her off the bed, luckily for her she was still wearing her dress but I didn't give a shit either way. She could have been stark ass naked for all I cared. I tossed her down on the floor in the hallway, threw her knock-off Jimmy Choo in her face and tapped a fork against the side of a nearby glass.

"I didn't even know she had a boyfriend, how did _you _know?"

"I remembered seeing her sitting on his lap." I shrug. "He was all over her but not in a creepy way, he was gentle and affectionate. Poor guy was clearly into her."

"I thought she was going to lunge for you."

"I wouldn't have given a fuck if she had." It was a little rash on my part, but I had been so riled up I didn't stop to think about Brooke's boyfriend as I announced to the world that she was a lying, cheating whore. I just wanted her to hurt the way she hurt Kate, _my _best friend. "I did feel bad for the guy though. What was his name? Troy? Trent?" I shake my head with a heavy sigh when I fail to remember.

"Bitch deserved it." Kate snarls. "I just wish it had been me to out her for the skank she was."

I don't say anything. She was _way _too distraught to even speak, let alone anything else. Two months later, She met Elliot and Rick was long forgotten. But she was guarded, worlds apart from the Kate who put up with shit from men the way she once did. I think that's why she opted for an open relationship. Even though she loved Elliot, and seeing him with other women ripped her soul in half, she thought the knowing was better than the not knowing. I loved her too much to convince her otherwise.

"She paid the price once I was finished with her."

"That's not the point I'm making, Ana." She shakes her head. "You stayed calm and took charge. I was a fucking _mess_, and I know you wanted to stay with me but you didn't. You did what I needed you to do. You were a mother that night."

"I wasn't a mother," I snort. "I was a friend, Kate."

"It was different. _You _were different." Was I? It's hard to see it from her point of view, I doubt we'll ever agree. I just did what I needed to do, for my best friend. "You've just got that…_thing. _It all comes so natural to you. It always has."

"It doesn't mean it will happen for me, Kate. What if it never does."

She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes, squinting at me with a confused expression marring her face. "Do you seriously believe that? Just because you haven't been successful yet?"

"It's hard to explain. Got it's _so _hard to explain. I just know that I want it, and the thought of never getting it scares me to death."

Kate shuffles closer and reaches for my hand, lacing her fingers with mine. "This isn't Anastasia Steele talking. Grey," She corrects herself with a smile. "Anastasia _Grey. _What are you doing?"

"Being realistic. I don't know, I just thought…"

"You thought what?"

My cheeks flame with embarrassment, but I don't know what for. I'm a married woman for crying out loud. "We have sex _all _the time. Kate, I'm talking a shit load. I don't actually think it's even normal the amount of times I get off a day."

A smirk kisses the corner of her mouth. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Oh, please." I roll my eyes. "Like you and Elliot are anything but horn dogs."

"Not as bad as you and Christian, clearly."

"You know what I mean," I bump her shoulder with mine. "We're always going at it. You'd think the odds would be in our favour."

"Hey, you know what they say. Practice makes perfect."

"If I get anymore practice in I'll be out of service. That man is hung like a horse." _Okay. TMI. _This is how I know I've had too much to drink. I get all chatty and go into _way _too much detail.

"Oooh, tell me more."

"Shut up."

Choosing that moment to glance up, I spot my husband leaning against the balcony door, one hand in his pocket and the other wrapped around an empty tumbler. Oh fucking hell. Did he hear all of that?

"Where's Elliot?" Kate grumbles behind her own glass, a delicate hiccup turning into a disgusting burp.

"Peeing." He takes another step into the room, looking all sexy as fuck with his top three buttons undone and his dishevelled hair. "Baby, are you ready to go?"

"Go?" Kate whines. "You can't _go,_ it's early!"

"Not when you have a six-thirty meeting in the morning," Christian grumbles, setting his glass down onto the table before extending his hand out. I take it. "Kate," He nods his head once. That's as good as she'll get.

She stumbles into me for a hug, one arm curling around my neck as she presses her lips against my cheek. I feel tipsy, but Kate is on another level. I give her ten minutes before she's face down in bed, passed out and snoring softly. I holler a quick goodbye to Elliot, making a mental note to call him properly. We cleared the air before he sloped off with my husband, but I still feel the need to make more of an effort. After all, he's more than my best friend's boyfriend, he's my brother-in-law. I need to fucking remember that.

I dig my fingers into Christian's arm as I step into my shoes, wobbling slightly when he lets me go. Before I can reach for the door handle, he's behind me with his nose in my hair; rubbing his lips against my ear. "Hung like a horse, huh?"

_Fuck. _


	20. Chapter 20

Unfortunately, this is not a new chapter. I usually hate these frustrating author's notes, there's nothing more annoying than recieving a new chapter alert to find one of these. So for that, I apologise. I've received many PM's asking where the latest chapter is, you've all been really sweet and patient with me but my laptop is on the way out. I've wanted to upgrade for a long time now, it's unreliable and slow and a general pain in the ass. If I need to, I'm prepared to post via my tablet but I'd much rather do it properly. So until I get my little problem fixed, Forever in Love will be on a temporary pause. I hope you'll stick with me until I get back, as I promise this isn't the end.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have the best readers.

Lots of love, Mrs. CTG x


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty – Breakthrough**

**Author's Note: Thank you all for being so patient. Hopefully, my computer woes are now over which means a LOT more updates.**

* * *

**Christian's POV **

"No."

"What's wrong with this one?" Anastasia lifts her mug and presses her lips against the rim, blowing gently before taking a sip. Her foot is bouncing restlessly as she drums her three fingers across the cool granite. "It's right near the water, just like you wanted."

"No, that's what _you _wanted. I said I'd be happy with anything."

"Well, that was a lie clearly. You're not happy with this…" I wave my hand at the open laptop before flopping back in the stool, scrubbing a hand across my face.

"I don't hate it; I just…don't _love _it." She releases a breathy sigh. "It isn't big enough."

"Big enough?" I scoff. "3 bedrooms and 3 baths? What are you picturing exactly, a fucking castle?"

She rolls her eyes and digs her foot into my shin, making me grunt. I grab her hand in response, curling my fingers around her wrist before bending it back slightly. "Ow. Shit, Christian." Her brows furrow as she pulls back, pursing her lips when she clocks my snide smirk.

"Don't get me wrong, I love that you're thinking big. Besides, you're right. This place is a fucking hole."

"It's hardly a hole." She giggles, reaching for the laptop and twisting the screen so she can see better. "It's beautiful actually. I just envision something bigger for us."

We've been sitting here like this for the past forty-minutes, both in sweats with enough coffee to keep us charged for the next week. Erica, our real estate agent emailed a list of properties over last night and by the time we'd both finished work, the suspense was killing us. Thankfully, she'd listened to everything I had said, taking note of our specific requirements before narrowing the shortlist down to a strong five. So far, we're only three properties in.

"What's on your mind?" I gently squeeze her hand.

"Huh?"

"You looked like you were about to say something else."

She sighs and rubs the corner of her eye, pushing the screen away from her before rising to make a fresh pot of coffee. Christ, anymore of that and I'll be climbing the damn walls. "I'm trying to think of the long run, that's all. Right now, three bedrooms is all we need, but what about when we have kids? I don't want to move again. Hell, I want to stay put for as long as possible."

I fucking _love _that she's thinking about our future, and I love that she hasn't gone off the thought of children altogether even more. After crashing Elliot's apartment two nights ago, reality hit home. We've both agreed that we're taking this whole baby thing way too fucking seriously. I admitted to pushing her into this before she was ready, and Ana confessed to putting herself under so much unnecessary pressure. Although our desire to start a family hasn't dwindled in the slightest, we're determined to do it the healthy way. We're no longer _trying _as such, we're just a married couple who love each other endlessly. A married couple who happen to have a lot of hot, passionate sex, and if a baby happens; then it's a fucking win-win situation.

"I totally agree, baby. Did you _seriously _think I'd b happy with living in that hole?"

"Oh my god, it's not a hole!" She swats the side of my head with a laugh, brushing her lips against my cheek. My hand tangles into her hair, determined to keep her close to me but she manages to break free regardless. I'm pouting as she flops back down in the stool beside me. "Hey, this one looks interesting. Click on it."

"I've already viewed this one, you won't like it." I tell her, scrolling past the property with a panoramic view on Mutiny Bay. It's incredible in it's own right. 4 bedrooms completed with a private den and an elevator whisking guests to the third floor where a jaw-dropping view of the ship canal and Olympic Mountains awaits. It's stunning, but I don't picture living there with my wife. It just doesn't give me those warm, tingly butterflies. The ones I know I should get whilst looking at it.

"What? You've been looking at places without me?" She looks and sounds horrified.

"I don't mean I've looked at it lately. It was a while ago now."

"Why were you even looking? Have you wanted to move before now?"

"I didn't want to move as such," I reach across the island for my empty cup. "I guess I was just bored. I wanted something new and fresh to play with, a second property I suppose."

Bending her elbow, Ana rests her chin on her open palm as a smirk kisses the corner of her mouth. "Most people buy paint when they're bored. You know, freshen a place up a bit. They don't go out and throw two-million dollars at a house they don't even need. You're something else, Grey."

"2.5 million actually," I flash my teeth. "And I'm not most people, baby. Surely you know that by now?"

"Okay, okay," She waves her hand in the air and shuffles her ass in the seat. "Moving on then."

I continue scrolling as requested; placing my hand on my wife's thigh as I do so like it's the most natural thing in the world. Which it fucking is. How can something so normal be so comforting? She isn't wearing any make-up, her hair is piled into a messy bun at the top of her head and she's wearing sweatpants that most men would turn their noses up at. Not fucking me, though. She's the most beautiful woman in the world. A siren, even. I couldn't resist her if I tried. A small gasp drags me back to the here and now, startling me when my hand is suddenly swatted away from the device.

"Oh my god," She whispers in awe. "Christian…."

"What? What is it?" I jump up and move to stand behind her, she doesn't look like she'll hand that damn laptop back to me anytime soon so I take matters into my own hands.

"Click on it."

"I am doing!" She squeals, her beautiful eyes dancing with excitement. I don't give a fuck what she's looking at, if it makes her this happy, then I'm buying it tonight.

A gated custom built home overlooking Puget Sound. 5 bedrooms, 5 baths. Travertine and Brazilian cherry floors, granite countertops and a soaring ceiling. That's just the start. It's breathtaking, at least it _looks _breathtaking. I'm already arranging a date and a time to view it in my head, my hand reaching for the phone tucked in the back pocket of my sweats so I can call Taylor to set it up. Anastasia stops me, her fingers curling around my wrist without tearing her eyes away from the screen.

"Look at it, Christian. Look how perfect it is."

"You like it?"

"Like it? I _love _it," Her shoulders sag slightly, almost like an immense pressure has been lifted. "We definitely saved the best til' last."

"That's settled then," I tell her confidently. "I'll arrange with Erica now."

"Now? Christian it's late, leave it until the morning."

Ana being Ana, she's thinking of others. But I can see the desperation in her eyes. If she could, she'd be in a car and driving to that house as we speak. So would I come to think of it. Instead, we sit together for a further fifteen minutes. My wife scrolls through the page and reads through the details with fine precision, her grin widening as she inspects each picture. Her excitement is infectious. If I knew it would make her this happy, I would've suggested moving months ago.

Getting out of Escala will be the best thing to ever happen to us. No ghosts, no reminders of ex-flings lurking around every corner. Plus, I won't be reminded of painful memories every time I walk into that fucking bathroom, remembering how I'd bathed my broken and wounded girlfriend; nursing her back to health after she almost lost her life. I can barely even think about that without my stomach roiling and my chest burning. Hands down, that was the single most terrifying moment of my entire life. It wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs for Ana, either.

"Do you want to look at any others?"

"Why would we? This is _amazing._" Her eyes widen as she leans further into the screen. "I don't want to come across as to eager, but…"

"But you're eager?"

"Oh my god, _yes_!" I stroke the back of her neck with a laugh, brushing my lips against the crown of her head. Fuck, she smells so fucking good. "I don't think I've ever been this excited."

"What about our wedding?" I cock an eyebrow. "Didn't you get excited over that?"

Of course I did. But that was a different excitement, it was all about one day. This…this is a future. _Our _future. God, I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it." I wordlessly haul my wife out of her chair, clutching her face between my hands before crushing our mouths together. I kiss her like it's the last time, like I'll never breathe her air again. My blood boils and my cock strains against my sweats, it's borderline fucking painful.

"Whoa…"

"Say that again," I breathe, still holding her beautiful face.

"Say what?" She replies in a daze. "Huh?"

"Tell me what we'll have together,"

A slow smile spreads across her face. Her lips are red and swollen, bruised from the force of our kiss and fuck if she isn't the most incredible creature I've ever laid eyes on. "A future. We'll have a life together."

"A life," I repeat like an idiot. It's like I need the conformation, I need to hear her say it and I have no fucking idea why. I knew we'd spend the rest of our lives together the second I proposed. Hell, I knew the second I _met _her. But for some reason unbeknown to me, I _need _to hear her say it. I fucking need it. "You and me?"

"Always."

The word seeps from her lips like liquid silk, her eyes twinkling with something so beautiful; it's all I can do not to combust right here on the spot. Before I can even register what I'm doing, I pin her against the counter and hook her leg around my waist. She's breathless as I tug her pants down and when I thrust my cock into her hot folds she damn near passes out. _Someone was more ready than I thought. _The sounds of our sex float through the air. Breathy gasps and slapping skin. She's so wet, I can practically hear my dick gliding in and out of her. _Heaven. Fucking heaven. _

I paw at her tits and suck on her neck, sinking my teeth into her heated skin. This is primal at it's best. It's _us _at our best. Her ass clenches under my hands as she constricts around me like a vault, milking my cock for all it's worth. I think that was the quickest I've ever got her off. How long was I fucking her for? Two minutes? _Three? _Fuck, I don't even know. But it was fucking hot.

"Well," Ana breathes once I reluctantly release her, cum dripping down her thigh as she drops her leg to the floor. "Who knew domesticity turned you on so much."

* * *

The shrill of a cell phone blaring through the air rips me out of my sleep. My very _deep _sleep. I gently pull my arm away from my wife, her body stirring slightly but other than that, she doesn't move a muscle. I quickly identify the fucking phone as mine, vibrating almost angrily on the top of my night stand. With sore eyes and a head that can't quite catch up, I drag my thumb across the screen and accept the call.

"Hello," I croak. Clearing my throat with a cough, I try again. "Hello."

"Shit, were you sleeping?" Elliot. Fucking _Elliot. _Swinging my legs out of bed, I glance over my shoulder at my sleeping wife before rising to my feet with shaky legs. _Man, I must have been really out of it. _The hallway is dark and quiet, silent even. But then again, it is one in the fucking morning.

"That is what people usually do at night, Elliot. What do you want?"

"Sorry, my bad." He doesn't sound sorry at all. If anything, I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. "I need your fucking help."

I flick the kitchen light on and rest my weight against the counter, I'm seriously struggling here. I contemplate making a coffee, but that will wake me up for sure and I don't plan on staying on this phone for long. "Is anyone dying?"

"What? No."

"Dead?"

"No, what the hell-"

"Then why the fuck are you calling me? Couldn't you have waited another six hours?"

"You're the only weird ass who wakes up before dawn on a Saturday. I don't fucking think so." He snorts.

Rubbing a palm across my eye, I push myself off the counter and stride towards the window with tired limbs. "Just fucking spit it out so I can go the fuck back to sleep."

Three seconds later, he tells me the reason behind his desperate phone call.

"Excuse me?" I deadpan.

"Keep the fuck up, I've just told you! It's Kate's fucking birthday and I've fucking forgot!" Is he always this aggressive with the profanities or am I just still half asleep? "She will rip my goddamn balls off for this, Christian. With her teeth. _Slowly._"

I'm struggling to see how any of this is my concern, especially at this stupid hour, but I decide to give him what he came for. Help. "When is it?"

"You don't know either?"

"She isn't my girlfriend, dumb ass. Quit trying to make yourself feel better about it."

"Next Tuesday," He grumbles.

"Why the fuck are you panicking over something that's three days away? That's plenty of time to get your shit together."

"Have you met my woman? Christian, this is her first birthday as my…well, you know. All the others don't count; I never even bothered with her on her birthday." Wow. I shake my head and roll my eyes, pressing a palm against the window as I lean on it. "If I don't get this right, she'll never forgive me."

"Well, you've already failed her by forgetting, Ell. How bad can it get?"

"Don't remind me." I hear him slapping a hand over his face. "She was telling me all about this chick she caught fucking some asshole she dated and Ana whipped the shit out of her, at her _birthday _party. I don't even know why she told me, the girls must have been reminiscing but then it fucking hit me and I swear to God I almost stopped breathing, Christian. Thank fuck she had her back to me otherwise she would have caught on instantly. Jesus, I'm going to hell."

I'm frowning as he rambles on. I vaguely get the gist of what he's trying to tell me, but the image of Ana 'whipping the shit' out of some tramp has my mind somewhat engaged. "I still don't know what I'm supposed to do about it? It's not like it's her birthday tomorrow. You're acting like a pussy."

"Fuck you. I just thought you might have an idea that's all, you're flashy with this kind of shit."

"Hardly," I scoff. "Only for Ana."

"That's what I meant. Christ, bro, throw me a fucking bone. I'm dying here."

"I don't know," I whisper shout. "Bake her a fucking cake. Buy her some lingerie, it isn't that damn difficult, Elliot. I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of it. You remembered in the end didn't you? Jesus."

"Fat lot of help you've been."

I can hear the pout in his voice before he hangs up with a vicious stab of the thumb. Sometimes, I really do worry about him. He calls me in the middle of the night, breathing down the phone like the apartment is on fire all for that. Something so…_trivial. _I get that birthdays and shit mean a great deal to women like Kate, they expect all the fuss and the glitz and if they don't get it…well, then there would be hell to pay. But he still needs to grow some balls, if he can't remember her fucking birthday then what hope do they seriously have? This is just something else telling me that Elliot isn't ready for commitment, as much as he thinks he wants it, he can't quite seem to get there.

"What are you doing?" I spin on the spot, my wife's sleepy voice drifting through the air. She stands in the middle of the great room wearing nothing but my shirt. Her hair is all mussed up and when she covers her mouth to stifle a yawn I want nothing more than to eat her up. _She's so fucking adorable. _

"Were you on the phone?"

"Elliot," I offer as an explanation, striding towards her with renewed purpose before taking her in my arms. "Back to bed."

"I can walk you know?" She grumbles quietly, but I'm smiling when she nuzzles her nose into the crook of my neck behind another yawn. "Such a caveman."

"That I am, baby." Laying her down, I climb into bed beside her and prop myself up on my elbow, staring down at my girl as she closes her eyes and allows sleep to creep in once more. My fingers automatically thread into her hair, brushing through each silky lock and never wanting to let go. "That I am."

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

"I thought Christian was joining us?"

"He's needed at the office," I sigh. "Well, I say he's needed, no-one else is there other than Ros."

"He works too hard," Dad breathes, scratching a spot just below his ear. "You need to tell him that."

"Don't think I haven't tried." Pursing his lips, he pushes his chair out slightly and drags his gaze across the room.

"Is she new? I don't think I've seen her before."

I crane my neck and glance over my shoulder, spotting my brand spanking new CPO at a table not all that far away from ours. She's trying to blend in, dressed in jeans and a casual jacket but to me she still sticks out like a sore thumb. But maybe that's just because I know she's watching my every move, if I didn't like her so much it would piss me off. "Julia." I nod. "Don't worry, she won't bother us."

Turning my attention back to Ray, I lean forward and rest my face on my palm before quickly pulling away again before he can gripe on about elbows on the table. He would've been quite happy hanging around the apartment, but I only get him for two days and as silly as it sounds, I don't want to share him with anyone else. Even if it is just with Gayle and Sawyer. Not only that, but I've been craving feta cheese for the best part of the morning and we're all out.

"If she's protecting my daughter, then she can bother us all she wants."

"You sound just like Christian." I whine.

"Good. I'm pleased the boy is on my wave length." He quickly scans the menu in front of him, pretending to mull over the options when I already know what he'll choose. And it _won't _be a grilled chicken salad. Or anything remotely healthy for that matter. "You look good, baby girl. Young."

"Young?" I snort. "I _am _young, Dad."

"I know that, I just mean you look young _today_. Your clothes and that." I quickly glance down at my dark jeans and ivory blouse teamed with a thick camel coloured scarf draped around my neck. Instead of my usual killer heels, I've opted for a pair of comfy black flats while keeping accessories to a minimum. I guess I do look more my twenty-four years rather than a billionaire's wife. Speaking of, that's still something I'm trying to get used to. "I just forget how young you actually are sometimes, what with you being all old and married now."

"I know me too." I smile. "A lot has changed."

Dad looks at me for a good few minutes, his eyes glinting with affection like they always do when we're together. But for some reason, there's something else there, something more wistful. It makes my chest clench. "It's just sometimes, I wonder where the all the years have gone, you know? It still only feels like five minutes since you were that toothless little gremlin, running around my feet and nipping at my ankles."

"You make me sound like a dog." I grin.

"Come to think of it, you did resemble a little rotweiler." A waiter serves our drinks, quickly setting two waters down on the table before disappearing once more, but not before throwing me a wink and a salacious smirk. _Cocky little…_

"While we're taking a trip down memory lane," I start tentatively, taking a much needed sip of my water. "There's something I wanted to talk about."

"Sounds ominous," Dad's head snaps up, his eyes widening. "Are you pregnant?"

"What? No! Well, not yet anyway." I laugh at his almost petrified reaction, no doubt picturing his one and only daughter knocked up and having a child of her own. "Dad, I'm married now. You know it's only a matter of time."

"Okay, okay." He closes his eyes and groans, flicking his wrist through the air. "Just don't drop that bomb while I'm still picturing you as a baby in my head."

"Sorry," I shoot him an unapologetic smirk. "But, no, that's not it. Although, I don't think you'll like this much better."

"Okay, now I'm listening."

"You can say no if you hate the idea, honestly you won't offend me…it's just, shit how can I put this. It worked for me, you know? At first I didn't think it would, Christian practically carried me to that first session but it got easier after that, Dr. West is excellent and I really did feel comfortable-"

"Annie," Ray cuts in, reaching for my hand and pulling it away from my hair as I anxiously tug at my loose locks. "You're rambling. Slow down and talk to me."

Taking a deep breath, I push the words out of my throat, swallowing the tennis ball sized lump in the process. "I think we should have a joint therapy session together. Just you and me."

"Therapy? Why on earth would we need therapy?" He laughs, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Anastasia?"

Oh shit. Full name. I know I've hit a nerve when he calls me Anastasia. "It's just…we've never really hashed out what happened. You know, with Morton?"

At the mention of that monster's name, my dad tenses up, wrenching his hand away from mine and tucking them in his lap. My chest tightens and my stomach roils. This is what happens every time I bring it up, he can talk about it all he wants, but when _I _initiate the subject…

"Why? Why are you thinking about that? Why are you thinking about _him?_"

"I'm not really," I swallow audibly. "But after your speech at the wedding, I -"

"I know I shouldn't have done that," He growls, anger and regret lacing his tone. "That wasn't even part of my original speech. I just…got carried away. Emotions running high and all that."

"It was beautiful," I tell him. "It just got me thinking, I don't think we've ever dealt with what happened have we? Just you and me?" He bows his head, his fingertip tracing the abandoned menu in front of him without breathing a word. "We've always been close, and although we talk about what happened…I've never asked how it affected you?"

"God, baby, you don't need to. You've _never _needed to. I only ever wanted you to concentrate on yourself."

"But I -"

"But what? You were a fifteen-year old kid. You were traumatised. Why the hell would you worry about me?"

"Because you're my dad," I whisper, mostly to myself but I know he heard me. "You rescued me from that…hell hole. You took me away from it all, but more than that, you heard me cry and you watched me distance myself from the world. How did you do it?"

"Do you really need to ask me that?" Cocking his head to the side, he closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. I thought only Christian did that when he was exasperated. "You're my daughter, Annie. My _only _daughter. I didn't even need to think twice about taking you away and bringing you back home, I wanted you with me. As for everything else, my one and only priority was getting you better. Getting you healed again. I don't like you asking me things like that."

"I'm sorry," I apologise quickly. "I just…I never saw you cry. Did you cry?"

Covering his mouth with his hand, he closes his eyes and pushes his chair away from the table slightly. He looks ready to bolt, and for a moment I think he'll do just that, but he doesn't. He just folds his arms across his chest and looks at anything but me. "Of course I did. Seeing you like that…it _killed _me. I can't even begin to tell you how much it tore me up inside, walking into that hospital and seeing you laid up all broken. It's every parent's worse nightmare, Ana."

"I couldn't look at your mother, Jen left, and apart from the guys at work it was just you and me. Like it's always been. I didn't want anyone else, and I certainly didn't need to confide in anyone." He pauses to take a breath, bracing his forearms against the table. "You asked me if I cried? I absolutely did, I just always made sure you didn't hear me. When you were sleeping, mainly."

A thick, salty tear rolls down my cheek and hits my lips. The image of my father, my strong and taciturn father crying on his own just so he didn't upset me has my heart breaking all over again. If we weren't in a public place, I know I'd be bawling like a baby. No doubt about it.

"I hate him for that." I choke through a sob. "I hate him for breaking you like that."

"Baby," Dad breathes, reaching for my hand once more and this time, he doesn't let it go. "Hate doesn't even begin to scratch the surface when it comes to that depraved piece of shit. I want nothing more than to watch him burn in hell for what he did to you. _You _being the operative word, I don't want you worrying about how it affected me."

"But this is why I want to do this," I swipe a hand across my nose, damp with tears. "If you don't want to see her with me, then you can go on your own. I just want you to get it all out there, dad. You've been bottling this up for _ten years._"

"So have you," He cuts in sharply. "Ana, this was your horrifying ordeal. You were the one who had to go through that. All the nightmares and the panic attacks, they were all yours."

"But I've dealt with it. I have Christian and Kate. Christian knows _everything, _I may not have wanted to tell him at first but it was the best thing I ever did. I can't tell you how good it felt to just…get it all out there once and for all. Who have you spoken to, dad?"

"I don't need-"

"Anyone, yeah you've said." I bite back, a little more snappy than I wanted. "I'm tired of you locking yourself away like this. You've been alone for ten years, and I don't mean women either. I'm not stupid, I know you've…dabbled over the years when you didn't think I was looking." I bite my lip to stifle a giggle when he blushes, awkwardly clearing his throat. He looks like a teenager getting caught out by his parents, talk about role reversal. "I mean I know you've never dated, not properly anyway and I don't know why you felt the need to keep them all from me but that's besides the point. I just want you to have someone, that's all. Even if it is just a shrink."

Silence looms over us for what feels like hours, both sat with folded arms and poker faces. This is where I get it from, the stubborn streak that just won't relent. We're both always so determined to win, to get the upper hand. I won't back down, and I _know _that Ray hates losing just as much as I do. It's quite comical really. "What's this chick's name? White?"

"West." I fight a jubilant grin. "Dr. West."

"You have her details?"

"She's on speed dial."

"While I don't like you having your therapist on damn speed dial, if it makes you happy, I'll let you call her."

"Then you'll meet her?"

"Yes," He sighs with an eye roll. "I'll meet her. I'll propose to her if it'll shut you up."

I bite the urge to clap my hands like a squealing school girl, opting for a triumphant smirk instead. I'm dying on the inside, joy rushing through me but I don't let it show. I'm too proud for shit like that. So, like a dutiful daughter, I quietly chew on my salad without another word. That doesn't stop Ray from grumbling through our entire lunch, though. More than anything, I feel relief. That conversation could have gone one of both ways, I'm just happy it didn't result in him storming out on me. That rarely happens, but when it does, it leaves me feeling weak and hollow.

I lock myself away in the nearest bathroom, leaving a message for Dr. West before dessert can even hit the table.

* * *

Walking into the great room to find my husband hunched over the coffee table, nose buried deep in a stack of files while tapping a pen against his chin; wearing a tee-shirt so tight and delicious has my thighs clenching together in anticipation. If my father wasn't standing beside me, I'd be climbing him like a tree. Then I'd be riding him like a horse.

No-one can rock a suit or a tuxedo like my man, but there's something so fucking sexy about seeing him so casual and relaxed. I live for those tight tees and snug sweat pants, the ones that hug his ass just so. _Yeah, those ones. _He looks so young and carefree, despite the monstrous pile of paperwork surrounding him. He's the Master of his own Universe, controlling his empire with the flick of a wrist and fuck if it doesn't turn me the hell on.

I approach him quietly, running my fingers through his beautiful hair as I move beside him. He couldn't have heard the elevator, or the sound of our feet in the foyer because he jumps as soon as my hand makes contact. That's when I notice the plugs in his ears, blasting something heavy and so un-Christian-like I can't help but giggle.

"Baby," He breathes, yanking the earplugs out and tossing his iPod down onto the couch before wrapping a strong arm around my waist. "I didn't hear you."

"I figured. What were you listening to?"

He smirks in response and taps the side of my nose as he stands to greet Ray, pulling him in for one of those one arm, slap on the back hugs. You know, the one that only men do. "Sorry I couldn't make lunch, things kinda' snowballed."

"What is all this?" I flick my hand towards the table, shrugging my purse off my shoulder.

"Don't ask," Christian breathes. "Just don't ask."

"Nothing too serious, I hope?" Ray's brow furrows, and I can tell he's doing that worrying thing in his head. He already thinks Christian works too hard, this is just proving him right. _I hate that. _

"Nothing I can't handle. Give me ten and I'll finish up for the night."

The night? I want him to finish up for the weekend, but I know that would be me pushing my luck. I'm lucky he's even here at all. Six months ago, he wouldn't have left Grey House for anything less than an impending death. This is progress.

"Do you want me to un-pack your things, Dad?"

"Don't worry, honey. I can live out of a duffel bag for the night."

"I don't mind,"

"I can do it, Annie."

"It would only take me-" I shut right up when he shoots me that glare, the one that says stop right now before I lose my shit. There's only two people who can silence me into submission, and they're both sitting in this room. I hold my hands up in surrender.

"How was lunch?" Christian asks distractedly, flicking another dossier open with narrowed eyes. I once again make a mental note to schedule him an eye exam. This is the second time I've seen him squint while he's reading. Now _there's_ an image. Christian with glasses. Black glasses with thick rims. _Jesus, I think I just came in my panties a little. _

"Why we needed to venture out for a damn salad is beyond me," Dad grumbles, folding his arms across his chest. "I would've much preferred Sushi." We had Sushi last night," I murmur in my defence.

"Are you opposed to eating sushi more than once a week?"

Christian tries to fight the smirk, but he fails miserably. I jab him in the arm with my elbow but he doesn't even flinch. Instead, he hands me an email print out from Erica, dated this morning. I scan it quickly, trying my damn hardest to hide my grin when I read our allotted time slot to view the house. The dream house. We make eye contact, smiling at each other shyly but other than that, he doesn't say anything else. He knows I want to get a feel for the place before telling anyone, including my dad, and for that I could kiss him. Actually, I could do a lot more than kiss him, but prying eyes and all that.

Dad eventually leaves us to unpack, leaving me feeling smug for the second time today. He can't live out of a fucking duffel bag, even it is just for the night. I don't know who he was trying to kid by telling me he could. Pecking my husband on the cheek, I'm up and hot on Ray's toes as I head straight for our bedroom. I'm in the middle of unbuttoning my shirt when Christian closes the door and perches on the end of the bed with hands clasped in front of him, steely grey eyes trained solely on me.

"So you had a nice time today?"

"Course," I flash him a smile over my shoulder, draping my shirt over the ottoman at the foot of the bed. "I mentioned West, but I'll tell you everything later. I don't want dad to hear us."

He continues to watch me, dilated pupils raking over my every move. Something's off, I just don't know if I should pull him up on it or not. I shift to pull a black camisole over my head when deft fingers tug it out of my grasp, tossing it across the room.

"Anything you want to tell me?"

My breath hitches slightly and my back arches, standing in just a bra and panties. I feel exposed and vulnerable, but instead of freaking me out, it's turning me on. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Christian looks pissed, angry even, and I quickly think back to lunch. Has Julia told him something? Did she tell him I was crying? He hates it when I cry. "Like what?"

I'm thinking the worst, my brain is working over time and my breathing has accelerated significantly. But what comes out of his mouth next, his beautiful and wonderful mouth, has me biting down hard on my lip as a laugh threatens to erupt.

"Did that waiter hit on you?" My hand flies to my stomach, my chest starts to heave and I force my eyes shut. If I look at him for a second longer, I'll crack. "You think this is funny?"

"No…" I squeeze my lips together. "Jesus, Christian I thought something serious had happened."

"It did. A fucking waiter hit on you."

"Oh my god, no he didn't. Did Julia say otherwise?"

I shouldn't be surprised. That's what she's there for after all, my safety may be her number one priority, but that doesn't stop her from running to my husband with a detailed blow-by-blow. _Traitor. _"

She said he winked at you, and then she overheard the little cocksucker talking about you to another colleague. I won't even repeat what he said."

"Why, is it bad?"

"Bad?" He snarls, squaring his shoulders with intense eyes, his stare filled with both fire and ice. It's a heady combination. "It was beyond fucking disrespectful. If you weren't with Ray, I would've been there with my hands wrapped around his sorry ass fucking throat."

"Don't overreact," I mumble. "He barely looked my way, Christian. _Julia, _is exaggerating."

I side step him, but I don't get any further than the bed before he's behind me; gripping my hips like a vice. I don't know where I thought I was going, but I just know I needed to get away from that…stare. "Overreact? You do know who you're talking to, right?"

"Yes. That's why I think-"

A hand twists in my hair, fisting at the nape as he pushes me forward until my knees hit the edge of the bed. "Take your panties off."

"What?" I breathe, my heart pounding against my ribcage. "Christian-"

"Did I stutter?" He growls, his fingers tightening in my hair. "Take them off, before I fucking rip them in half."

Because I actually like these panties, and because I know full well he'll do it; my fingers hook into the flimsy lace, tugging them down my thighs the best I can without him relinquishing his hold on me. I expect him to dive straight in there, rubbing my clit vigorously or plunging his fingers inside, but he doesn't. Instead, he drags his hands down the length of my body, grazing my skin with the most delicate of touches.

"You're mine, Anastasia. I don't appreciate some cocky little frat boy disrespecting what's mine."

"He didn't-" I shut the hell up when one hand cups my entire sex, pressing his palm down onto my clit hard. "Fuck."

"Yes, fuck is right."

The next thing I know, I'm kneeling across the mattress with my hands braced in front of me, my husband behind me with his hard cock pressed against the curve of my ass. I'm so turned on, I doubt I'll even make it ten seconds before I'm falling apart around him. I don't know when he pulled his sweats down, and I don't know how I even ended up in this position, but I can't think of anything else besides having him inside me. "Christian," I pant. "Dad. My dad's here, he can't hear us having sex."

Cupping the nape of my neck, he pushes me lower onto the mattress and drags the thick comforter towards my face. "Bite that, and don't scream."

He doesn't take me gently, or with care. He fucks me rough and fast, he fucks me like he owns me. My toes curl as I dig them into the plush carpet, anything to grip onto so I don't fall flat on my face. My fingers are fisting the comforter, but I don't bring it to my mouth, I have no desire to. A scream threatens to escape but I bite it back with strength I didn't even know I had. This is primal at it's best. I fucking love it.

"You're mine, Ana." Christian growls, his fingers gripping my hips so hard I'm certain I'll bruise. "You're fucking _mine_."

That's all it takes for me to drag myself into a standing position. I curl my hand around his neck and fist his hair like he fisted mine. His thrusts don't waver for a second, if anything, he quickens his pace the instant our lips smash together in a lust driven collision. We're all tongues and teeth, clashing against each other like we can't bear to be apart for more than a second. I'm moaning like a wanton whore and Christian is panting into my mouth, we're both fighting to stay quiet. Ray is only a floor away, for all we know, he can hear everything we're doing.

The bed isn't banging against the wall, we aren't screaming out in ecstasy, but I can guaran-fucking-tee the sound of slapping flesh and heavy breathing is more than audible to anyone with their ear pressed against the door.

I'm falling apart under less than two minutes, if I wasn't so fucking turned on, I'd be embarrassed. Breath hitches in my throat and my lungs fight for air when I'm shoved back down on the bed, my cheek hitting the mattress. A surge of hot, white heat splashes against my back. _He's coming on me. He's marking me._

A primal grunt tears from his throat, his fingers gripping the curve of my ass for what feels like the longest time. I'm struggling for breath; he literally fucked the wind out of me. I hear the rustle of his sweat pants as he tugs them back up, but I still can't move. My limbs feel like lead.

"You came on me," I pant as soon as I've regained my senses. I'm still lying flat on my stomach, but the sticky substance smearing my back and shoulders is more than present. "You haven't done that in so long."

"You're mine." I manage to roll over on my stomach, propping my head up onto my weak elbow. He's shrugging his shirt back over his head, and the fact that he can look so calm and collected after _that _pisses me off. I can barely keep my eyes open. "I just thought you needed a little reminder."

"You're insufferable, you know that?"

A wry grin spreads across his face and before I can stop myself, I'm grinning right back. I should be offended and hurt after his little performance; he marked me like I'm his property. I guess in many ways I am, I'm his wife and I understand his need to possess me. So instead of feeling pissed, I'm aroused to hell.

After dragging a damp washcloth across my back, he cups my face in his hands and brushes his lips against my nose, cheeks and forehead before giving into temptation and devouring my mouth. If I wasn't so spent, I'd be geared up and ready for round two. But as it so happens, I'm physically _fucked. _

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Even when you do fuck me like an animal."

"Be honest," He breathes against my lips, nuzzling my nose with his. "That's _why _you love me."

"Busted."

I frantically scan the hallway when I open the bedroom door and luckily, my dad isn't anywhere to be seen. My shoulders sag with relief. Christian laughs behind me and slaps my ass hard as he passes, throwing me a wink over his shoulder. _Sexy bastard. _

He isn't in the Great room or the kitchen, and I don't think I've even shown him the library so that only leaves the penthouse gym. I'm just praying to fuck he didn't come looking for Christian before heading down there.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-One – Old Ghosts**

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

Watching Kate as she boxes up her belongings leaves me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth. On one hand, I'm thrilled that she's taking the next step with Elliot, after everything they've battled through and overcome, no two people deserve this more than them. But I'm still a little sad. This has always been her apartment – _our _apartment. I know I don't have a claim on it anymore, I gave up that right the day I moved in with Brody, despite moving back less than two years later. But then I found Christian, and I did the same thing once more. The only difference this time being that this is for keeps. I'll never leave my husband for anything or for anyone.

"Couldn't this wait? Moving on your birthday sucks balls." I lean my hip against the counter, sipping on my Starbucks coffee. The kitchen had all been packed up last night, leaving me with nothing to get creative with, so take-out lattes it was.

"It's a good a day as any. I can't wait any longer, Ana. I'm ready to fucking burst."

She scratches the back of her head and fiddles with the red and white floral patterned bandana holding her hair up. I love and loath that she can look so chic and beautiful with minimal effort. On most, a white tee and cut-off denim shorts would look plain, but on Katherine Kavanagh? It looks good enough for a stint at damn fashion week. _Bitch. _

"Where do you want these?" Olivia scurries through clutching a handful of scatter cushions close to her chest. Her hair is a wild mass of waves framing her face and her make-up could do with a touch up, but that's mainly our fault. Kate and I have barely moved a muscle during the past fifty minutes and Olivia is yet to breathe.

"Oh, over there. That box can be taped up now." She points a perfectly manicured finger at a crate labelled _Bedroom Shit_. I smile at the thick, black Italian script scrawled across the front of the box, her handwriting is so perfect and feminine but her language is less so. "Fuck, I almost forgot to ask. How did your therapy session go this morning?"

I tip my head back with an exhausted sigh, I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. Dr. West scheduled us in ridiculously fast. I'd expected at least a two week wait, I'm hardly her number one patient anymore and even if I was, she's _crazy _booked up all year round. It's scary how many people actually require a shrink on a daily basis, more than I ever thought possible.

Dad raced back to Seattle as quickly as he could, and I felt like a shit. He has a job and a life, not one that revolves around me and me alone and for him to drop eveything at the drop of a hat made me love him even more. He felt pressured and uneasy, I'd literally thrown him head first into the deep end with barely any preparation. It was a miracle he even agreed to a joint therapy session, nevermind attend less than seventy-two hours later.

"One word. Rough."

Ray cried, I cried. Actually, no I didnt. I wailed. I sobbed for myself and I sobbed for my father. We both cried for the broken man who tried to heal his teenage daughter, and we cried for the traumatised fourteen year old who thought her life was over. It had been cathartic to say the least. I was on the verge of passing out with exhaustion by the time our hour was up.

Am I glad we did it? Abso-fucking-loutely. We _needed _this. We needed it for our relationship and for our future. West uncovered so many heartbreaking truths that had me damn near hyperventilating. I guess I had never really thought about the true extent of my Dad's pain. Because that what it was, it was _pain. _Blinding hot, searing pain that left him feeling hollow and tortured. But the _real _shock came after our session during a late breakfast near her office. I'm still trying to digest it all even now.

"_There's something I need to tell you." Dad takes my hand and curls his large calloused fingers around my wrist. "And I don't want you to freak out over it, because there's really nothing to freak out over." _

"_Oh my god," I throw my fork down, a loud twang piercing my eardrums as it clatters against the edge of my plate. My heart pounds through my chest at an alarming rate and my palms start to clam. "You're sick again, aren't you? Is that what it is? God, Dad, don't sugarcoat it just say it!" _

"_No, no, no.." He tries to soothe me. "It's not that, baby. God, it's most definitely not that bad I promise." _

_I suck in a shuddering breath and sink back into my chair, clucthing the fabric of my dress over my chest in a vice grip. "What the hell is it then? You scared the shit out of me." _

"_I haven't told you because I didnt want to make you uncomfortable. You were so happy when she came back into our lives again and the last thing I wanted was to screw it all up again. I couldn't risk you losing her again."_

_So this is where I get it from? Incessant rambling when we're trying to delay the inevitable. Mindless stalling I like to call it. "What are you trying to tell me?" _

_I don't think I've ever seen my father so nervous. He wasn't even this pale during our session together, and I thought he looked ready to throw up as soon as West's overly perky secretary ushered us through to her office. This has me on the egde of my seat...literally. _

"_Jen and I...well, we've sort of gotten close over the past few weeks. While you were away on your honeymoon. I guess you could say we spent a lot of time together. Alone. _

_I pinch my eyebrows together. "I'm not following?"_

"_God, this is hard." He scrubs a hand over his face and closes his eyes, struggling with his next sentence. "We're a couple, Annie. A very new couple, but a couple none the less." _

_I don't think I blink for a good sixty seconds at least. I certainly don't breathe. A couple? My Dad and my Aunt Jen? A couple? As in together? What in the ever loving **fuck **is this noise? "Say that again?" _

"_You're freaking out aren't you? I knew you would, I knew it would make you uncomfortable but, baby, I can't keep this from you any longer. Today has made me realise all that we've kept from eachother over the last ten years, and I don't want us to spend the next ten doing exactly the same thing. You need to know this." _

"_You're together?" I screech, attracting the attention of an elderly couple two table across. "Like romantically?"_

"_Yes, Annie, romantically. Does it bother you?" _

_Does it bother me? It's fucking random, and the visual of my daddy with a woman – any woman - leaves my stomach a little bit tender but does it bother me? _

_No. Not in the slightest. _

_They were always close. Ray much prefered spending time with Jen over my mom even when they were married. He would always take the empty seat beside her during Christmas dinner and he found her crude jokes hilarious, whereas my mom struggled to smile at the best of times. Even now, I don't think they were having an affair behind Carlas's back, my dad would never cross that line no matter how bad things had gotten, but I guess they've always shared this incredible bond. It all but broke him when she fled town. I used to think it was because of me and because I was hurting, now I know he was doing a whole lot of hurting himself. _

"_I don't even know why I'm surprised," I whisper. "I always thought you were soulmates even 're so alike it's weird." _

"_Weird?" He laughs, evident relief flashing across his handsome face. "Weird in a good way, I hope?" _

"_Well, you both like your tea disgustingly sweet and I swear you both have that same snort when you laugh. That's just the start." _

"_So that makes us soulmates?" _

"_In my eyes, yeah." I shrug a shoulder and sip on my americano. "I'm glad you told me." _

"_You are? Like really?" _

"_Yes," I laugh. "I'm not that intimidating, am I?" _

"_No, but even I can appreciate how unnerving this must be. You know...watching the two of us together?" _

"_You're my Dad," I tell him. "All I want is for you to be happy, and Jen has always been more of a mother to me than Carla ever was. You know that. It's only natural for my parents' to be together. Why wouldn't I want that?" _

I meant every word. It doesn't freak me out, and it certainly doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. But it will still take a little getting used to, purely because I haven't seen my Dad with anyone since my mother when I was thirteen years old. I guess I've grown so accustomed to him being alone. And for that I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. He deserves this, he deserves Jen. I don't think I could ask for anyone more perfect for my father than her.

"Ray and Jen? Who the fuck thought, huh?" Kate wags an eyebrow as she kicks a taped box across the room, her way of organising the mess. "I'm actually pretty proud of him. Jen's _hot." _

"Okay, I'm not thinking about that." I shudder. "And if I hear any sex jokes from anyone I'm liable to break bones."

"Well, I think it's sweet." Olivia gushes. "Coming together after all these years. God, it's like a movie."

Kate and I both roll our eyes. It's not that we don't believe in love or romance. Hell, I've already found the love of my life and he's ruined me for ever more. We're just not as fluffy about it like Olivia is. She literally sees the good in everything and everyone. That's why I struggled to understand why she gave her own relationship such a hard time when Blake worshiped the ground she walked on. Saying that, they're in a really good place right now so I refuse to ever bring that up again unless Olivia instigates the converstaion.

"If anyone deserves a happy ever after it's Ray." Kate breathes, fisting her hip. "He sacrificed a shit load when you were younger, Steele."

"Fuck, I know, I know. That's why I'm okay with this. I just want him happy."

I drain the remainder of my coffee before hauling my ass into the living room to reluctantly join in with the packing. I make a start on Kate's old CD collection, the one she hasn't touched since buying her iPod at least four years ago. Nostalgia hits me in waves as I sift through, tossing each one into a nearby crate and only stopping when I locate Madonna.

"You know, shit like that doesn't happen anymore does it?" Kate turns to face us when _Papa Don't Preach _starts to play. "Ray and Jen didn't see eachother for _years. _Yet all of a sudden, they're thrust back into eachother's lives and all the old feelings resurface. I know, I'm sounding like Olivia with this sappy shit; no offence, Liv."

"None taken," She smirks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"But it's just unheard of. Who the fuck has a fairytale ending like that anymore?"

"You're not exactly bigging up Elliot."

"No, I'm fucking not." She huffs. "He fucked his entire way through Seattle during the first year of our 'relationship', and if I hadn't stepped up to the ol' commitment plate that never would've changed. He's hardly Richard fucking Gere, is he?"

"But you love him?" I toss another CD into the crate.

"Of course I do. I love him more than anything, we're both as fucked up as each other."

"Something must have attracted you to him in the first place though, right?" Olivia asks, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand.

"Have you seen him? He could charm a fucking nun out of her panties with that sweet tongue. I'm only human."

"And now? What attracts you to him now?"

Kate tilts her head back and pinches her brows together. "When I really think about it, the list is endless. He rubs my feet every night and he always fixes me a coffee in the morning. He takes care of me. What more can I ask for?"

"Good to know it isn't all superficial, then." I retort with a sarcastic smirk. Kate remains oblivious.

"Oh yeah, totally. Plus, he eats pussy like a champ."

* * *

**-Where are you? **

**-Moving Kate into Elliot's place. What's up? **

"Who are you texting?" Olivia bumps her shoulder agaisnt mine as she tries to peer over my shoulder. "You're grinning like a fool."

Am I? I instinctively reach up to swipe at my mouth, and sure enough, there's a cheesy smile right there just like Olivia said. Fucking hell I'm predictable. One text from my husband and I'm acting like a love struck teenager.

"There's only one person who makes her grin like that, and it sure as shit isn't us." Kate yells from across the living room, tossing a handful of cushions onto the couch before arranging them in her typical haphazard manner. Elliot will love this. He'll come home to an entirely different apartment, Kate has officially pissed up the furniture and marked her territory.

"You're just jealous," I holler back, my fingers swiping aross the screen to open the newest message.

**-My cock, that's what's up. I'm so horny I could fuck you through you a wall. Come to me, baby. **

Good fucking Lord he knows just what to say to me. My feet are already itching to go to him, just the thought of surprising him at Grey House and crawling under the desk to suck him off has my juices flowing. Could I slope off for a few hours? I doubt Kate and Olivia would miss me, I'm definitely no use to them now I have that image imprinted in my brain.

We had sex this morning. Hell, we had sex _numerous _times this morning. I often wonder how we manage to make love so many times in the space of an hour – all while trying to get ready for work – but we do. We're both nymphs, I swear it. How can I still be this hot for him? I know we haven't been married long, we haven't even known each other a year yet, but I can't imagine my need for him ever fading out, it's just too strong and powerful. He consumes me, and he knows it.

Shaking my head to rid myself of my illicit thoughts, I tap my thumbs across the screen and squeeze my thighs together. Damn him and his magic fucking dick. I need to get a grip of myself.

**-Surely you can wait a few more hours? I can't ditch Kate, it is her birthday after all. **

**-Fuck Kate and fuck her birthday. I need you. **

I can practically picture his whining pout.

**-Where are you?**

**-In a meeting. I can't fucking concentrate on a thing. All I can think about is this morning, you pressed against the shower wall with my cock balls deep inside your pussy. The way you screamed my name, baby. FUCK. **

If he carries on texting me shit like this, I'll throw it all to hell and jump on him in the middle of that confrence room. And I won't care who's there to witness it. Another vibration, another text.

**-I just groaned out fucking loud. I now have fifteen forty-something guys staring at me like I've been caught jerking off. What the fuck do you do to me, Anastasia Grey. **

**-You poor baby. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you later. I promise. **

**-Too right you fucking promise. Your ass is mine, baby. And your mouth, and your pussy...**

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Kate's ear piercing squeal has me dropping my phone onto the nearest flat surface before I'm barreling into the kitchen with Olivia hot on my tail. What the fuck?

"What? What is it? Did you see a spider?"

Knowing how much Kate detests spiders, I'm scanning the room for a glass or a magazine; anything to swat one away before my best friend collapses and passes out. That actually happened once. She had been moments away from stepping into the tub when a spider the size of a cent scurried across the bathroom floor. It had been enough to knock her out cold.

"I..I um..."

She has her back to us, but I can see her shoulders shaking from here. Okay, maybe I musjudged the situation, maybe we're dealing with something bigger here.

"Katie?" Olivia takes a step forward, her voice soft and soothing. We both gasp when our best friend turns with a small velvet box planted in her palm. A small velvet _ring _box. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

"I found it in the drawer," She whispers, her face pale and terrified. I'm still yet to take a breath. "He wouldn't...he wouldn't do this, would he? I mean it's crazy...we're only just moving in together, we're not ready for something this big. Are we?"

Olivia and I both stand frozen to the spot. Kate's found a ring, hidden in the drawer. What else could this mean? Elliot's going to propose. Elliot Grey is fucking _proposing. _Jesus, I think I need a drink.

"Maybe it's not yours." Olivia chimes in, her tone now back to positive and enthusuastic. "Maybe it's for someone else."

Kate's face hardens as her fingers tighten around the box. "So he's either proposing to me, or he's having a fucking affair. No matter, I'm about to pass out regardless of the outcome."

"He's not cheating on you," I rush across the kitchen to her side, my arm automatically wrapping around her shoulders. "Have you looked inside? Maybe it's a key, you know for this place?"

"Do you think?" Her question is full of hope. I know Kate, I know how much she'll be freaking out at the thought of Elliot asking her to marry him. Not because she doesn't love him, because she does. Moving in together is a huge step for them, they're both petrified of commitment. It took them a year to even admit their true feelings to one another. The idea of them getting married feels a little ludicrous. Surely Elliot wouldn't, would he?

"Why don't you open it?" Olivia suggests. "Ana's right, it could be a key."

Before Kate can even entertain the idea, Elliot bursts into the kitchen panting and out of breath. He's wearing his weathered work clothes and he's covered in mud. Dropping his hard hat onto the floor, he presses his shoulder agaisnt the door jamb and tries to control his heavy breathing. He doesn't take his eyes off Kate for a second. What in the hell?

"Fuck," He growls. "Fucking hell you found it."

"Huh?" Kate asks in a daze, her eyes just as wide as Elliots.

"That," He points to the box in her hand. "I knew the drawer was a shit ass hiding place. I should have moved it."

Locking eyes with Olivia, we both nod and quietly attempt to slope out of the room. I squeeze Kate's arm as I pass, offering her a small smile that I hope will reassure her. If what we're predicting is true, then they need to do this alone. Especially if Kate will say no, they need privacy. Who the fuck want's to be rejected in front of a live audience?

"Oh my god," Olivia breathes as soon as we're out of ear shot. "Is that really about to happen?"

"I don't know. For their sake, I hope not."

"It's too soon isn't it?" She whispers quietly, folding her arms across her chest. "It's way too soon for something that big. After the whole baby thing..."

"I know, I know," I hold my hand up. I don't need to go through that whole saga again, I don't think I have the strength to even think about it. "Let's get out of here. You need a ride?"

"I'll call Blake, it's okay." She answers, her eyes still trained on the kitchen a mere few short metres away. "What about tonight? Do we still show up and hope for the best?"

"It's Kate's birthday," I tilt my head to the side. "She wouldn't pass up the chance to celebrate her birthday for anything. I'll see you tonight."

Stepping into the elevator without Olivia, I pull my phone out of my purse and dial Taylor's phone. He answers on the second ring. "Is everything okay, Mrs. Grey?"

"Don't sound so panicked, I'm fine." My cheeks heat as the following words leave my mouth, purely because it will take Jason all of five seconds to figure out what I'm up to. "Has Christian had lunch yet?"

* * *

**Christian's POV **

"Mr. Grey," I stop mid stride, my dick straining agaisnt the fly of my slacks to the point of fucking pain. I feel like crying after that little sexting session with my wife. I need her in the worse way.

"What is it, Andrea?"

This better be good, I'm too horny for small talk. I politely nod my head at the bunch of boring fuckers I spent the last ninenty minutes wasting my time with, and that had fuck all to do with Ana and her ability to fuck with my head without even being in the same room as me. They're just incompetent, no two ways about it.

"Mrs. Grey just called, she'd like to meet you for lunch this afternoon. I've already reserved your usual table, I hope you don't mind, Sir."

I'm frowning as I check my phone, it's blank. No missed calls or texts. Why didn't she call me first? And what was all that shit about needing to stay with Kate? "It's two-thirty. Hasn't she eaten already?"

"She didn't say, Sir. I'm guessing not." I don't know why she's looking at me all fucking gone out. I'm not an imbecile, I just don't appreciate my wife scheduling our lunch plans with anyone other than me. Why didn't she just tell me she wanted to see me earlier? Fuck knows, I had been that close to begging. "Mr. Taylor is bringing the car around. He'll wait for you downstairs."

"Excuse me?" I bark. Not only is she telling me what to fucking do, but now I have Jason fucking Taylor calling the shots, too. What the fuck is this? To Andrea's credit, she doesnt even flinch. "Not outside the main entrance, either. He'll be waiting on the ground floor of the underground garage."

With nothing more than a toss of her shoulder length hair, she turns on her heel and walks away. She fucking walks away. If I wasn't so confused, I'd be ripping her a new one right fucking here with everyone as witnesses.

I'm dialling Ana as I stab my thumb across the call button, tapping my foot like the impatient asshole I am. No answer. What the hell is she playing at? Thirty minutes ago, she all but shot me down when I told her I wanted to see her. Granted, the first thing on my agenda was wrapping her legs around my head but still, she said no. Now she's all ready and willing to meet for lunch. I don't want fucking lunch. I want to fuck my wife, and I want to fuck her hard. Instead, I'm being forced to sit through a gruelling lunch date as she taunts and teases me the entire way through. She's a fucking minx like that.

I'm muttering to myself the entire ride down to the parking lot, the one I never fucking use. Why the fuck is he making me come all the way down here? We only use this place when shit hits the fan. It rarely happens, but when the paparazizi get a little bothersome, this is our go to for a great escape. No fucker even knows about it other than Taylor, Andrea and myself. Ros isn't even aware, it's like a fucking panic room. So why are we down here now?

The elevator doors slide open to reveal an empty basement. It's stark and bland, there aren't even any designated

parking bays. It's just empty. I spot the SUV tucked away in the far corner, hidden behind a pillar. Has something happened that I'm not fucking aware of? What's with all the sneaking around.

Stuffing my phone into my pocket with a huff, I stride across the open space with stiff shoulders and a pissed off attitude. Taylor isn't there to open the fucking door. I'm thinking like a dick, but I've been horny for the hot little thing I call my wife for the best part of the fucking day and nothing is taking the edge off. Nothing.

Pulling the passenger door open, I bend and slide in, but two long legs have me frozen to the spot before I can even seat myself properly. What the fuck?

"You took your time."

There, pressed against the door at the opposite side of the vehicle, is my wife. My hot, sexy, beautiful fucking wife.

_Fuck me. _She's dressed in an almost see through white blouse and a pale gray skirt so tight I can see the thin lace of her g-string, her thick hair is hanging loose and her lips are plump and glossy. She's every man's walking talking fantasy, and she's mine. All fucking mine.

I'm speechless, literally _speechless. _What the fuck is she doing here? I thought I was meeting her for lunch? Like an idiot, I scan my surroundings and sure enough, Taylor isn't anywhere in sight. This is a set up.

"Did you plan this?" I ask her quietly, barely containing the growl threatening to erupt. Her tits peek through her low cut shirt and when she uncrosses her legs before crossing them again, her skirt rides up her thigh that little bit higher; taunting me like the wanton tease she is. "You did, didn't you? You got me here under false pretences."

"Not at all," Her tongue darts out between her lips and all I can picture is that tounge wrapped around the head of my cock. "We're having lunch together. I don't know what you mean."

That seductive smirk tells me otherwise. If this is all so black and white, then why isn't Jason here. Why are we tucked away in this empty fucking parking lot without a single breathing soul in sight? Something tells me my baby is feeling frisky.

Leaning forward, I drag my knuckles down the side of her face with the gentlest of touches. It's barely there, but her shudder tells me she felt it. She's so fucking soft and perfect, how can she be so perfect? "You're a naughty, naughty girl, Mrs. Grey. What do you want?"

Her clear blue irises morph into something darker, something much darker. My cock is so fucking hard I can barely breathe. It was hard before, but now she's here with me in the flesh I'm beyond help. There's only one thing that will satisfy this burning need, and she's cupping my erection through my pants like she wants to tear it off. "This. I want this." _Fucking hell. _"Take off your pants."

I don't know what the fuck is happening here, but all I know is, I want more. So much more. So like a good boy, I reach for my fly and drag the zipper down with such a fierce yank I'm surprised I haven't broken it. Ana doesn't waste any time. She's on her knees and sucking my cock into her mouth before I can even blink.

Nothing has ever felt this good. Fucking nothing. My hands cup her head, pressing her down harder on my shaft as she hollows her cheeks and sucks me off in the middle of a parking garage. The thought alone makes me throb, my balls heavy and desperate for a reprieve.

"Fuck, Ana." I grunt, breathing through my nose as my head drops back onto the window with a thud. "You are such a dirty girl, sucking me off in public like this. You planned this all along, didnt you?"

She glances up at me, innocent blue eyes twinkling as she nods her head twice. _Innocent my fucking ass. _Humming gently, she grazes the head of my cock with her teeth and it's all I can do not to blow right here and now. I'm so fucking desperate for this, yet I want to make it last as long as I possibly can. Her mouth feels too fucking good to let her stop yet.

"Your messages drove me crazy," She releases me with a wet pop, her fist pumping me while she talks. "I shouldn't even be here. That's what you do to me, you make me lose my mind just by sending me dirty texts. You own me, Grey."

Fuck. Thats it. With every ounce of strength I have, I lift my wife off my cock and practically toss her onto her back. These cars are spacious, luxurious even, but they still aren't designed for this. Who gives a shit, I sure as fuck don't. I'm fucking my wife and I'm fucking her now. If Taylor were to show up and slide into the car, I doubt I'd even stop then.

Ana gasps, her mouth dropping open as I force her legs apart. I'm over her in seconds, and before she can stop me, her panties are nothing more than a scrap of lace dangling from my fingers. Her breathless grin is enough to drive me over the edge.

I thrust into her hard and strong, gripping her thigh as I spead her legs and press one agaisnt the leather; opening her up wide. Sweat clings to my forehead, dripping from my brow and landing on Ana's succulent tits.

"Fuck, Christian. Harder." She groans when I lave at the swollen mound heaving on her chest. Her nipples are so hard, they're straining agaisnt the confines of her bra. So visible. So responsive. "You know what I want."

"Yeah? You want this?" Without releasing her leg, I manage to tear the top two buttons of her shirt open, sucking her tit into my mouth like a starved man. "You like it when I suck your tits?"

"Yes," She gasps. "Fuck, yes."

I need more. I need to feel more of her. "Ride me, baby. Fucking show me you belong to."

She doesn't need telling twice, as soon as I'm in an upright position, Ana grips the headrest and bucks her hips like a woman possesed. She's fucking _wild. _Sex is always intense with my wife, but this is something else entirtely. I feel like I'm having an outer body experience.

I spread my legs a little father, forcing my cock into her harder. I hit that sweet spot over and over again, her screams grow louder and her legs start to shake. My tongue finds hers once more, battling for dominance. We're a hot mess, a clash of teeth and tongues as we grope each other like two horny teenagers. It's wild and it's frantic. It's everything I've thought about since I screwed her in the shower this morning.

It's never enough, not with Ana. She makes me crazy, she makes me want to fuck her like an animal. How did I go so long without this? How did I go so long without _her? _The thought of a life without this woman sends me spiralling towards one of the most powerful climaxes I've ever experienced. I think it's the first time I've ever gone off before her, but she doesn't seem to care. As soon as the first spurt of release shoots inside her, she grips the back of my neck and drops her forehead against mine, trembling through her own orgasm so beautifully I could fucking cry.

I cup her face with my hands and press our lips together. She tastes like salt and sweat and cock. My cock. The only cock she'll ever have inher mouth. I'm breathless and boneless, a sack of jelly and numb limbs and when Ana slumps into my chest, it takes everything in me to wrap my arms around her. She has literally fucked the shit out of me.

"You're incredible," I whisper in her ear. "I love you so fucking much."

She responds with a sated smile, and I know that's all she'll be able to give me for a while. I love that I can do that to her, I love that sex with me makes her completely out of it. It does some serious shit to me. When she flops onto the seat beside me, I yank my tie from around my neck and use it to clean her up making Ana throw her head back with a moan.

"What?" I ask her.

"Just when I think you can't get any hotter," She purrs with a dreamy grin. "You go and wipe your cum up with your damn tie. Jesus Christ."

"It's your cum, too." I remind her. "Shit, just thinking about us all mixed together like that makes me want to go again."

"Again?" Her eyes widen. "You could go again, even after that?"

"Is that a serious question?" I ask her dryly. "Once is never enough with you, Anastasia, and you know it."

We're quiet for a few minutes, sitting beside each other half dressed and throughly satiated. My cock is still hanging out my pants and Ana's tits are barely covered but instead of getting all fired up again, we're content and relaxed. We both needed that, we needed each other. After a beat, Ana lifts her head and rests her chin agaisnt my shoulder.

"Elliot's proposing to Kate."

"What?" I choke. "Where the fuck have you got that from?"

"Kate found a ring at the apartment. Well, she _thinks _she found a ring. Elliot came home before she could open it."

"Elliot isn't proposing." I tell her without a moment's hesitation. "Trust me, baby. He would've told me something that big."

"How do you know that? Maybe he wanted to keep it to himself."

"My brother can't keep a secret for shit. He calls me everytime he takes a piss for fucks sake. No way in hell would he be able to keep this quiet."

Ana tilts her head to the side and rolls her tounge around her mouth. "What the hell was it then if it wasn't a ring? He looked like he was shitting a brick when he caught Kate in the act."

Fuck if I know. One thing's for sure though, whatever Kate found, it wasn't a fucking ring. We eventually throw our dishevelled clothes back together after what feels like hours. I don't know what the time is and I don't fucking care because that was, without a doubt, the single most hottest experience of my life. _Fuck! _I sit back with a shit eating grin plastered across my face as I watch my wife buttoning her blouse, her fingers clumsy and shaky. _I did that to her. Me. _

"Did you get Andrea in on this?"

"Huh?" She swings her drowsy gaze back to mine. "Andrea?"

I nod once.

"I hope not, the only person who should know anything is Jason."

"Jason?" I can't fight the smirk and when her face flushes, it morphs into a full blown grin. "Filthy, filthy girl."

"Oh, stop." She scolds me with a resounding slap on the meat of my upper thigh. "I didn't tell him anything like that. I just told him I wanted you down here on your own. That's all."

"That's _all_?" I scoff. "You don't think he figured it out? Baby, he's a guy. We can sniff out a booty call a mile off."

She pierces me to the seat with a glare cold enough to ice my blood. "For your sake, you better not finish that fucking sentence."

"I was finished," I mutter dryly. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Good," She mumbles.

I reach for Ana's crazy sex hair, smoothing a damp strand behind her ear before tugging her into my chest. She releases a content sigh and nuzzles her cheek against the spot covering my bicep. "What happened this morning at your session? You were vague on the phone."

"I can't even..." She pauses for a beat. "So much happened, Christian. _Too_ much to tell you here."

"So let's go home. I want to know."

Lifting her head, she presses her lips to my cheek. "I'm okay, I promise. I know you're thinking the worse case scenario and you seriously don't need to be."

"Of course I fucking am," I grunt. "I've been there, baby. I know first hand how fucking shit therapy is. I thought you were done with it."

"I am done with it. I just...I needed to do this, you know that. Today was the last time."

I do know. I know how much she's suffered over the years, carrying the guilt of ruining her father's life. It's fucking ridiculous, ludicrous even. Ray loves his daughter more than life itself, watching her hurt all but destroyed him ten years ago. Ana couldn't have ruined his life if she tried, she was who pieced him back together. The way she fought against Morton, the strength she endured to heal again, that was all Ray needed to breathe again.

"I'll tell you one thing," She chuckles into my neck. "Thanksgiving is about to get a whole lot crazier."

"Why?"

"Elliot's proposing to Kate, Olivia and Blake are back together, and what with Dad and Jen. We have enough liquor, right?"

"For the last time, Elliot isn't asking Kate to fucking...Hang on, what was that about Ray and Jen?"

She bolts upright, a devious grin curling at the corner of her sinful mouth as she rummages through her purse before pulling her phone out. "On that note, I need to go. Walk me out?"

Like she needs to fucking ask. Despite my cock hardening when she bends over to adjust the strap of her shoe, I'm spent and satisfied. I could fuck her sweet ass into the middle of next week, but we're out of time and I can't stop thinking about what she's just told me. Ray and Jen?

Then it hits me. She knows. I dont know _what _she knows, but she definitely fucking knows something. My dear old father-in-law has confessed to something regarding Jen, and the fact that Anastasia isn't freaking out thrills the shit out of me. Although I doubt she'd feel so at ease if she discovered the truth, that I knew something all along.

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

When Kate told me she didn't invite Ethan to her birthday dinner, I felt terrrible. No, scratch that, I felt nauseous. They were always so close growing up and I don't think they've ever skipped out on one another over anything, _especially _birthdays. The idiot has tried to fire up so much shit over the past few months and the idea of being in the same room as him for hours on end was enough to make my stomach roil. He isn't the man I used to know, he isn't kind, sweet Ethan anymore. If I think about it long enough, it devastates me.

She tried to assure me it was what she wanted, that she'd rather have me there with her but I'm not buying it. I love her for standing by my side, hearing my husband slaughter her brother time and time again for thinking he could get to me must have felt like a sucker punch, but family is family. Today has proven that to me. You stick by family no matter what, no matter what they do, blood is thicker than water. How long until Kate realises that?

"You're over thinking something."

Christian's voice rouses me back to the present. I tear my gaze away from the passing scenery as we make the journey from Escala to the Mile High Club, Taylor weaving us through early evening traffic.

"Huh?"

"Baby, I can hear you ticking from here." He shoves his phone into the pocket of his slacks before reaching for my hand, untangling my clenched fingers out of their death grip. "What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Are you thinking about your dad?" He presses.

"Christian, I'm fine. I am allowed to let my mind wander every now and then, you know? Doesn't mean I'm heading towards a downward spiral."

He flashes me a smirk, a smirk so sinfully sexy it makes me tingle slightly. "Duly noted, smart ass."

For the most part, we ride in comfortable silence. We hold hands and stroke each other's skin with our thumbs, sharing shy smiles and gentle pecks. This is what I love. It isn't what I love the most, but I do love it. We don't need to be talking every second of every day to be okay, the quiet doesn't scare me. Sometimes we just let our bodies do all the communicating.

"You look beautiful." I feel Christian's lips hit that sweet spot below my ear, the spot that makes me shudder in all the right places. "Have I told you that already?"

"Maybe once or twice." I tell him with a grin.

"Well, I'm telling you again. You're beautiful, so fucking beautiful."

"Careful," I purr. "You'll have me a hot, wet mess if you carry on."

I suddenly remember where I am and snap my mouth shut, my cheeks flushing as I glance in Taylor's direction. His fingers lightly drum agaisnt the steering wheel as he drives and when I look into the rearview mirror, I'm grateful to find his eyes fixed on the road ahead and nowhere else. I swat Christian on the arm when he chuckles, clearly amused by my evident humiliation.

"I've already told you, he can't hear a thing."

"Oh, please," I scoff. "He's right there. Unless he's deaf, then he hears everything we say, Christian." The realisation has me blushing ten times harder. Shit, we really do need to curb the dirty talk around the security detail.

"You're seriously blushing after what happened today? Baby, you all but gave me a booty call and Taylor knows it."

"It was not a booty call!" I screech in horror, yanking my hand out of his. "That'll be the last time I do something like that, Grey. Fucking booty call. I'm your wife not your slut. I wish you'd stop fucking calling it that."

"Hey, come here," I shove him away when he throws his head back with a loud laugh. I'm not really all that pissed off, but it won't hurt to let him think that I am. "I didn't mean that, you know I didn't mean that."

"Next time I'll just let your blue balls shrivel up and die." He laughs again, louder this time and I'm right there with him. I try to fight the smirk, but my efforts are futile and before I know it, my eyes are watering and the urge to pee almost breaks me.

"You fucking kill me, woman."

Christian lunges for me, his lips latching onto my neck with determined hunger, shutting me the hell up instantly. He nips, sucks and kisses his way to my collarbone and just when I think he'll remember where we are and break off, he slides his hand so far up my thigh his fingers are no more than an inch away from the wet heat throbbing between my legs.

"Hey, hey. Not now."

"Not now, what?" He grunts agaisnt my neck.

"Christian, we're in the car."

"Didn't stop you this afternoon." _Cocky, sexy bastard. _"Just shut up and let me make you come."

My resolve slowly starts to wear thin, weakening every time his fingers brush against my sodden and now very useless panties. Just when I'm ready to say fuck it and let him finger bang me in the back of a moving SUV, the car slides to a smooth stop.

"Son of a bitch!"

I yell before I can stop myself. Christian pulls back with a shit eating grin and I want nothing more than to sock him in his beautiful mouth. He's loving every single second of this. Taylor meets my gaze in the mirror, concern flashing across his face when he notices my flushed state. My cheeks feel like they're on fire due to my outburst paired with my impending orgasm.

He reaches for his face and tugs out of a pair of ear plugs, wrapping them around his iPod before stuffing it away in the dash compartment. He was wearing ear phones the entire time! How the fuck did I not notice that? I'm both relieved and pissed off, pissed off because I could have made some real noise when my husband's fingers were inside my panties and not worried about him hearing us.

I duck my head when he opens my door for me, and I keep it bowed until we're out of complete ear shot.

"I'll call you when we're ready, Taylor." Christian laces our fingers together and despite my gaze remaining fixed to the floor, I can feel him grinning as he tugs me through the double glass doors. "I told you he couldn't hear us."

* * *

Kate bounces across the room in all her birthday glory, looking beyond beautiful in a gold sequined dress with a plunging neckline. It's so over the top, but it's also so Kate and my best friend has never been one to shy away from the crowd. She thrives on it, it's always been one of the things I love most about her. Her hair has been pinned up into a messy chignon at the nape of her neck and her make-up is bold and fierce. She's stunning, and judging by the way Elliot is eye fucking her while he watches her walk across the room, he knows it too.

_Elliot! _

She's barely at my side when I'm grabbing her left hand, yanking it towards my face for a better look. No ring? What the...

Christian clears his throat with a cough before making his excuses with a kiss to both my head and Kate's cheek. He gets it, he knows I'm about to do some serious digging and he doesn't want to stick around to hear it. Wise man.

"It wasn't an engagement ring," Kate answers my question before I can even ask her. I'm still holding her hand, mindlessly stroking her finger where a ring should be sitting.

"What? What the hell was it, then?"

Tugging her hand free from my grasp, she holds her right hand up instead, a beautiful heart shaped diamond set between two hearts sitting perfectly on her slender finger. "It's a promise ring. He said I could wear it on the other hand if I wanted, but it didn't feel right to so..."

"Hold on," I interrupt her, a smile kissing the corner of my mouth. "A promise ring?"

Kate drops her hand and scratches the back of her neck, something she does when she's feeling either nervous or shy. "He's not ready to propose yet, which by the way can I get a halle-fucking-lujah," She releases a heavy breath. "So this is the next best thing, for now anyway. He wants to get married, we both do one day. Just not yet. This is his promise to me."

She's grinning from ear to ear, and before I know it, I'm grinning right along with her. She looks so happy, so relieved. Anyone a mile off could see they weren't ready to take that step, it's taken them this long to realise they want to live together. My heart melts when I see her glancing at the ring with nothing but adoration in her eyes.

"Promise ring, huh?" I grin. "Who knew Elliot Grey could be so romantic."

"That's why he stormed into the apartment like the place was on fucking fire. He hid it in the kitchen knowing I'd find it in the bedroom, said he shit himself when he remembered it was still in there. He didn't want me to find it and freak out, which I totally did do."

Peering over her shoulder, I catch Christian slapping his brother on the back with a loud laugh, sipping on a beer at the same time. I'm guessing Elliot is filling him in on his side of the story, probably ten times more dramatic than Kate's. The thought makes me shake my head with a laugh.

Two glasses of champagne later, I feel more at ease and relaxed. I'm not a socially awkward person, I love parties and I love meeting new people, but a sense of dread has stuck by my side like fucking glue all day and I still can't figure out why. I suffered an attack of the butterflies while showering and the feeling hasn't eased up in the slightest since arriving.

I put it down to Kate and Elliot's possible engagement. I'd tried calling Kate multiple times but all I got was her voicemail, for all I knew she was having a mental break down, terrified by the thought of getting married. Dramatic I know, but then this is Kate I'm talking about. You'd think I would be used to it by now. But now I know the truth behind the ring, I still have that dull throb in the pit of my stomach.

It isn't long before I find out why.

"Oh, shit."

Kate's face drops, her once perfectly bronzed cheeks now pale in comparison. She looks sick, like she'll _be _sick at any given second. Her fingers tighten around the stem of her flute and her throat bobs as she swallows audibly. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and my heart rate picks up, it's like I _know _what's behind me. Or should I say _who _is behind me.

"Kate?"

"I told him not to come, I swear to Fuck, Ana. I told him not to come."

Like two magnets, my eyes lock with Christian's over Kate's shoulder. His face is thunderous. He looks ready to pounce, like he wants to kill with his bare hands. Before I can blink, he's barreling across the room with one thing on his mind and one thing only. People dodge out of his way because it's either that or he pushes them to the floor with the sheer force of his strides. _Don't turn around, don't turn around. _

"Happy Birthday, Sis."

A deep, rough voice hits the back of ny neck, almost like he's purposely standing too close. I close my eyes and press my lips together, my chest tightening as my stomach roils.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Kate barks, her face reddening with anger. "I told you not-"

"Not to come, yeah I know. Since when do I listen? Come on, Katie, you should know that by now."

His voice is sickly sweet, making me cringe on the inside. Fuck, I should have known. I suck in a harsh breath when a strong arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into a hard wall of muscle. Christian. His breathing is heavy and I can practically feel the adrenalin pouring out of his skin. This isn't good. This isn't _fucking _good.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Kavanagh? I thought you were told to keep your distance tonight." I don't want to look up, I'm too scared to but now that Christian has whirled me into his chest, I'm all but facing Ethan. I can feel his eyes on me and it makes my skin crawl. How can he have this affect on me? I used to adore him, I used to feel safe around him but now, now I want nothing more than to run and hide in the corner until he's left the building. "Don't look at her, fucker. Look at me and answer my fucking question."

"I was in the area. Thought I'd pop in and show my face." He sounds bored. _Really _bored. "Kate is my sister, after all."

"I didn't ask you here." Thats's Kate. "Mom told you to stay away. You never fucking listen, Ethan."

I suck in another breath before slowly lifting my head. Christian's fingers are digging into my hip so hard he's bound to leave marks but that doesn't stop me.

Ethan is staring right at me, a smug smirk spreading across his lips. Why is he doing this? What does he have to gain? He says he loves me, but this isn't love, this is something else. This is something on Brody's level, something sinister. Bile rises in my throat as my fingers tighten around the lapels of Christian's jacket. I haven't laid eyes on him in weeks, and I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I haven't missed him. Not one fucking iota.

His once gentle eyes now look harsh and evil, like they hold a thousand secrets. Secrets I really don't want to know the answers to. My blood freezes when he tilts his head to the side, his piercing green orbs scanning me from head to toe before a wide grin starts to crack free.

"Well," He cocks an eyebrow. "Do I get a hello anytime soon?"


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Two – The Only Way Is Up, Baby**

* * *

**Christian's POV **

"No, you don't get a fucking _hello, _and if you look her way one more time, I'll tear you limb from fucking limb."

I thought this shit was over. I know the fucker will never truly disappear, he's too connected to Kate for that stroke of luck but she has just admitted it herself, she doesn't want him here. So why the _fuck _is he a mere breath away from me and my wife; looking at her like she's a piece of fucking meat. My fists clench, nails biting into my palms leaving tiny moon shaped marks. I can feel Ana's fingers curling around my wrists as she pulls herself out of my hold, but I don't let her. She releases a quiet whimper when I drag her back, forcing my arms around the small of her back and locking them around her before she can escape again.

Kavanagh shakes his head with a derisive snort as he watches us, mocking me for protecting my wife – the woman I love more than fucking life. He'll soon fucking learn that I'll do anything to keep her safe, and that includes keeping her as far way from _him _as I can. "Manhandling her now, Grey? My, my, my. I knew it wouldn't take you long."

Flashes of Greece spring to the forefront of my mind. Ana and I fighting, the whole shit storm in the club before that schmuck accused me of hurting my wife. _My _wife. My blood boils and my teeth clench. I'm two fucking seconds away from beating the little shit to a bloody pulp, I don't care if his parents and sister are in the same room watching. Maybe that'll show him once and for all, _prove _to him that I'll stop at nothing to keep him away.

"What the fuck are you doing, Ethan?" Elliot joins us, looping an arm around Kate's waist. She sinks into his side instantly, no doubt grateful for his presence in what must be one of the most fucking awkward and uncomfortable moments of her life. Elliot's jaw is stiff, much like mine, his posture is taught and he's looking at Kavanagh like he wants to fucking murder him. He's got my back, I know that for sure. "Kate told you to stay away, we _all _told you to stay away."

"Are we seriously doing this again? Really?" The fact that he's brushing this off like it's fucking nothing is starting to piss me off. How can he stand here, knowing no-one wants him here, not even his sister. Just as the thought runs through my head, Ethan turns to face Kate, a look of disgust washing over his smug fucking face. "And you. Where's your fucking _loyalty? _You're choosing them over me, your own brother. When did you turn into such a hateful little bitch?"

Before I can react, before Kate can even react, Elliot is on him like a ton of bricks; shoving him against the nearest wall. He knocks a passing waiter, sending a tray of champagne flutes crashing to the floor but that doesn't concern me in the slightest, these guys are trained professionals, I expect nothing less. That shit can be swiped up in a heartbeat. This however, this is escalating fast. I just didn't think Elliot would be the first one to pounce.

"Say that again, Fucker. Say that again and see what fucking happens."

Despite my brother having him pinned to the wall with his fists curled around the scruff of his collar, Ethan doesn't look fazed in the slightest. I don't know where he's been hiding for the last month, but the fucker has toughened up. No way in fuck could Elliot have done that before without him breaking out into a sweat. Now if anything, he looks bored.

"Ell, please don't," Kate tugs his arm, standing on her tip toes as she tries to pry the two men in her life apart. "Please, you're making a scene. My dad will see if-"

"Oh fucking please," Ethan barks, pushing Elliot off with as much force as he can muster. "Like that dick would even care. He's turned his back on me, too. You've _all _turned your back on me."

"Who's fault is that, huh? Can you fucking blame us, Ethan?" Kate takes a step closer, swatting Elliot's hand away when he tries to tug her back. "The way you've behaved. The way you've treated Ana, my _best friend." _

Ana tenses at the mention of her name, shrinking into my hold once more. I haven't let her go, and I'm not about to either. I hate that he makes her feel like this. She's fucking scared, that much is clear. The realization makes my stomach roil. The last time they were this close to each other, she was so strong and together. She all but told him to fuck off when he cornered her outside her office, she was the one trying to keep me calm. The Ana then compared to the Ana now are worlds apart. What's changed? Why is she reacting to his presence like this? I snap back to Kate when her voice raises several octaves, attracting the attention of her guests, including her fucking parents' who waste no time in strutting across the room like their asses are on fire. _About fucking time._

"You've acted like a dick to everyone, even when we were trying to help you. Why?" Her face pinches, tears pooling in her eyes. "You're my _brother, _yet you've treated me like fucking shit every day for the past three months. I've fucking had enough, Ethan! I've had-"

Seeing her friend cry is enough ammuntion to get my girl moving, I don't want to let her go, but I know Ana could never sit by and watch as Kate suffers at the hands of her so called fucking brother. No matter how anxious she feels around that fucking jackass. Her delicate frame wraps around Kate, whispering something in her ear before gently pulling her away from Ethan.

I watch him like a hawk the entire fucking time - watching as he refocuses his attention on my wife. His lip curls into a snarl and his fingers clench at his side._ Just the way he fucking looks at her_. I can't...It's too fucking hard. "Right. _You. _Outside, now."

"Excuse me?" He cocks his head to the side. "Where are we? Twelth grade?"

"No-one is going anywhere." Kavanagh Senior, whatever the fuck his name is slides between us with a stony expression and rigid shoulders. Like he'll be able to fucking stop me. I've been patient, Ive stayed calm, and that asshole is still in _my _club with his eyes on _my _wife. It's about time he realizes who the fuck it is he's dealing with. I cleared this entire floor with no more than a flick of my wrist for Kate. I can sure as shit decide who I do and don't want here. "Ethan, go to the bar."

"The bar? The fucking _bar?_" I growl. "The only place he's going, is into that fucking elevator. How the fuck did you even get up here?" I peer over dickhead's shoulder, catching his spawn smirking at me like he has the upper hand. Is he seriously this dilusional?

"I get that you're pissed," He gets in my face. "But he's _my _son. I'll be the one deciding where he does and doesn't go, got that?"

"This is my fucking club." I take a step closer, our noses almost touching. I can barely control my breathing, let alone my temper, and this fucker is getting on my last nerve. "You see the woman behind me? She's _my _wife. So with all due respect, _Sir_. He'll go wherever I fucking tell him to go. You got _that_?"

Fear flashes across his face. He has thirty years on me, and although we're pretty much the same height, I'm more built with a lot more strength. I spar with a trainer almost every other day, and I run every morning with Taylor by my side, pushing me for more. I could take him, and he knows it. Not that I'd ever touch him, I have far more respect for Kate than that, but it doesn't hurt for him to think that I will.

His arms are folded across his chest, and his lips are pressed into a thin line, but after a beat; he eventually backs down. Turning his head, he acknowledges his son with nothing more than a stiff nod. "Do it, Ethan. You owe the guy that much."

"Excuse me? You're taking _his _side over mine?"

"Don't act like a child, boy. You're embarrassing your mother."

"She won't even fucking look at me!" He yells, pointing his finger towards the woman fiddling with the strap of her clutch, bowing her head the second she makes eye contact with her son. The room is deathly silent now, all eyes trained on the spectacle taking place in the middle of the room. We shot all chances of remaining unseen to shit the second Daddy Dearest jumped into the picture. "You're all the same. Taking sides with _them _when all you harp on about is fucking family."

"Ethan," Kate looks up with wet cheeks, her lip wobbling as her voice turns gentle. "Let's go outside, _please. _We can talk about this properly. In private."

"No!" He cuts her off with a flexed finger and a tense jaw. "You had your fucking chance. I'm done."

As he turns to leave, striding away with force in every step, it hits me. He wasn't here to 'claim' Ana or start the shit again, he probably would have just to cause trouble, but that wasn't why he came here tonight. He came here for his family, for his _sister. _Anastasia has told me time and time again how close they were, how unbreakable their bond was and she didn't even want him at her own birthday dinner. His parents' shunned him without thinking twice. His father decided to push him away instead of defending his own son, all because he's probably scared of me.

I fucking hate the little asshat. I hate him for how he's treated my wife, for how he's disrespected our relationship right under my nose. I'll never like him, and I'll never trust him, but the thought of losing Elliot or Mia? Well, that guts me. It would tear me in half.

"Kate," I bend my knees slightly, whispering quietly enough so only she can hear me. "Go after him."

"W...what?" She stammers, a streak of mascara smearing her cheek.

"Go after him. You'll hate yourslef if you don't."

"But Ana," She sniffs hard. "I need to be here for Ana, I promised her that-"

"I'll take care of her, you know I will. Go after him," I nod my head towards the exit, stuffing my fists in my pockets. "Ana only wants you happy, Kate. Especially today. Go."

She's hesitant, that much is obvious, but after a quick swipe at her eyes, she takes a deep breath before making a dash for the one person I never thought I'd see myself defending. _Defending is probably a stretch too far. _Ever since my wife walked into my life and turned it on it's head, my family has never felt so strong and together. How would I have felt if everyone had disowned me after I fell in love with Ana behind Brody's back? It's in no way the same league, but you get what I fucking mean.

"Why did you do that?"

A soft, gentle voice hits the back of my neck, and delicate fingers lace through mine. My body sags with literal relief , just by feeling her close to me. That's all I need to give me focus, knowing my wife is with me.

"He's her brother, baby. You saw how cut up she was when he walked away. What fun would tonight be with her feeling like shit on her birthday."

"I hate that I've done that to them."

"_You _didn't do anything." I turn to face her, dragging a hand through the hair at the nape of her neck and giving it a slight pull. "Everything that has fell apart, has fell apart because of Ethan. Surely you know that?"

"I do, I do. It just doesn't make it any easier, you know?"

I've lost all desire to be here. How I'll be able to get myself through tonight when all I want to do is take my girl home, lock her in the fucking bedroom and make love to her all night long I'll never know. This will be a real test of my strength and willpower. "I don't know about you, but I need a drink."

"I need to use the bathroom. Wait here for me."

"Hey," I catch her arm as she tries to pass, her tresses whipping her in the face when she spins on her heel. "You okay?"

She doesn't offer me a verbal response, just a nod of the head and a tight lipped smile. I fucking hate it when she does this. I can already feel her shrinking away from me, backing herself into an invisible corner before refusing to let me in. I don't know what I want from her, I just need her to remain present; remain here with me. I eventually swallow my reluctance and let her go, never once taking my eyes off her as she crosses the room before dissappearing out of sight. I could always follow her and wait outside the bathroom until she comes out, but I won't. She isn't a child, she's my wife. She'll talk to me when she's good and ready, I just need to allow her the time to get there.

"What the hell was that?"

I'm actually impressed. I for sure thought one of them would crawl over the _second _they saw me with Ethan. We're what...ten minutes in? More? Hold the fucking phone.

"What was what, Mia?" I play dumb.

"_That." _Uncurling one slender finger, she points towards the exit with raised eyebrows and a gaping jaw. "Why was he even here? And why the fuck didn't you punch him?"

"You _wanted _me to punch him?"

"Errr...duh! Who the hell didn't, even Mom was rooting for you."

Fucking rich. They all spend years forcing me into therapy, all to confront my 'demons' and the triggers behind my violent outbursts, yet they don't see the problem in encouraging me now? Mia's embellishing the truth, that much is obvious, but knowing my mother the way I do, I don't doubt the devil perching on her shoulder for a second. "Quit being so fucking dramatic, I threw him out didn't I? And can I remind you, it wasn't all that long ago you were all but inviting him over for coffee and fucking cake."

Hurt flashes across her face, but it's gone less than a second later. That was harsh and cruel, but necessary all the same. I love my sister to death, but she's such a fucking hypocrite sometimes.

"That was before I knew the truth, asshole. I never would've gone anywhere near him if you'd just told me about himand Ana in the first place!"

"There is no fucking him and Ana." I bark. "There never has been, that's why the prick came sniffing around you and you know it. Don't you dare fucking blame my wife."

"I wasn't..." She shakes her head, her cheeks flushing with anger. "I love Ana, I've never once blamed her for what happened, but thank you so much for reminding me just how repulsive I am to the opposite sex."

"Don't twist my fucking words, Mia." This is pissing me off. _Really _pissing me off. "What are you over here prying for? You saw what happened."

She chews on her lower lip, shifting from foot to foot. "Where did Kate go?"

"After Ethan." I tell her without hesitating.

"Why?"

"Why are you so concerned? Stay out of this, Mia."

"It may have slipped your memory, but Ana _is _my sister-in-law, and Kate's as good as. What crawled up your miserable ass?"

"Same thing that's crawled up yours, probably." I deadpan. "I need a fucking drink."

* * *

**Anastasia's POV **

If I wasn't so bothered about my make-up, I'd seriously consider splashing cold water over my face. Anything to snap me out of this shitty feeling. Christian can see it, and looking at my reflection in the mirror, so can I. This sucks, this whole night fucking _sucks. _Kate must hate me. I know I'd hate me. I've not only ruined her relationship with her brother, I've sure as shit ruined her birthday. _I knew I should've stayed home. Gut instinct and all that. _

She may have gone after him, but I saw the look in her eye before she fled. She was distraught. I did that to her. _Me. _She purposely avoided inviting him here tonight, and it's all because of me. And now Ethan may never forgive her, and that will be another fucking shit storm landing at my feet.

I don't know where to go from here. _What the hell do I do now? _Do I go back out there and force a false smile, or do I remain locked away in here for the rest of the night and throw myself a little pity party? I know what option I prefer, I just don't know how much longer I have left before Christian comes looking for me. I'm surprised he isn't already here pounding the door down with his fists.

Although I don't need it, I touch up my lipstick and re-fluff my hair – purely just for something to do. Anything to buy me some more time. Then I wash my hands before vigorously drying them on nearby a hand towel, only for me to wash them all over again. _How long is that? _Ten minutes? Longer? What the fuck am I doing. I'm acting like a crazy person, all because I'm a coward. A coward who feels physically sick at the thought of facing everyone after that. _Pathetic. _

"Ana? Open the door."

_Shit. _

"I'm not done. Give me a minute."

"You've pissed in front of me before, don't give me that bullshit. Open the fucking door, Steele."

Rolling my eyes, I yank the door open with a sharp pull. "Your mouth is foul by the way."

Kate brushes past me with a smirk, tosses her clutch onto the vanity and all but slams herself against the wall with an exhausted sigh. She still has black rings rimming her eyes from all the crying, but I don't have the heart to tell her just yet. _Or the balls. _"He didn't want to talk to me."

"Ethan?" I mumble.

"He called me a bitch. I know he's called me that before, but he really meant that tonight. Fucking asshole."

"He was angry. You both were. Let him cool off."

"Oh, I'll do more than that." Without turning herself to face the mirror, she drags a finger across her mascara streaked cheek. "He can go fuck himself now. I ran after him in five inch stilettos, Ana. Five _inch. _He wouldn't even look at me. He knows I don't do shit like that lightly."

"Running in heels?"

"Making the first move," She corrects me with an eye roll. "He could've just given me five minutes, all I wanted was to apologize."

I want to tell her that he won't give a shit about an apology, but I don't. This is still all my fault. Wise ass remarks really aren't necessary.

"You love him, he's family. That's why you went after him." She tilts her head to the side and stares at me intently. "Don't give up on him just yet."

"Why are you defending him? And why the _fuck _did Christian tell me to follow him? Thought that would be the last thing on his mind."

"He has a good heart," I tell her, bracing my palms agaisnt the counter. "He hates him, and that will never change. But he cares about you, whether he likes to admit it or not."

"I know," She breathes. "He did plan this whole thing tonight, after all."

"Huh?" I shriek. "What are you talking about? This was all Elliot."

Kate smirks, folding her arms across her chest and kicking one foot out. "Babe, please. I'm no idiot. He may have blown my brains to shit with this ring, but I _know _he didn't throw all this together. He isn't that perfect."

_Damn. _"Please don't say anything. Christian will fucking kill me if he knows you know."

She laughs, and it's like music to my ears. Five minutes ago I was preparing for the worst, and now we're both locked away in a private bathroom and laughing together. _Sweet mercies and all that... _

"It's okay. But if he forgets my damn birthday next year, I'll rip his balls off and force them down his sorry ass throat." She whirls around and makes a strangled noise, palming her cheeks and pursing her lips. "I look _disgusting. _Please tell me you have concealer in your purse?"

"How did you know he forgot? I literally had to force that out of Christian." I slide my compact across the counter top. "What's more, how is he still breathing?"

"I can read that man like a book. He thinks he can fool me, but he doesn't see his face when he fucks up. He goes all pale and his throat does this bobby thing. It's actually quite cute."

I watch in silence as Kate fixes her face. A dab of concealer and a swipe of lipgloss, and she's back to her perfect, impeccable self. Almost like nothing ever happened. It's a quality in Kate I've always envied, and while some will call it a flaw, I'd take a slice of that shit any day of the week.

"I'm sorry about Ethan, Katie. He should be here."

"Hey, don't be," She squeezes my arm. "He's an ass, he knew what turning up here tonight would do. He brings it on himself every single time."

"But still," I breathe. "Family is family, he-"

"_You're _my family. And right now, you have more of a right to be here than he does. Fucker didn't even get me a present."

* * *

Christian made love to me that night. It wasn't a quick, hard fuck either. His touch was tender, his thrusts even more so. He claimed me, heart body and soul, not because he needed to, but because he could. I am his. I'm his wife.

I'll never leave him, and he knows that, but something stirred inside of him tonight when he saw Ethan behind me at the club, and this is his way of showing me that I belong to him forever and for always.

"_You're mine, Ana."_

He breathed as we moved together, hips rolling and thrusting, pushing and pulling while we loved each other. It was hot and heavy yet slow and sweet all at the same time. When I came, I came hard, forcing my husband into his own paralysing release.

He's always told me that watching me come is his undoing. My neck strains and my back arches, pushing my breasts into his naked chest as I writhe beneath him. He says my toes curls and my nails bite into the flesh of his taut back, clawing at him like I can't get enough. The truth is, I can't. I'll never get enough of this man.

"_You'll always be mine. Say it, fucking tell me that you're mine." _

I couldn't speak. My throat was tight and my limbs felt like jello, Christian held onto me while I calmed, his hands cupping my head the entire time. The intensity was too much. His eyes were boring into mine and his mouth was inches away from my face. The closeness of his body paired with the fact that he was still inside me proved too much to handle. I came again, quicker this time, but the pleasure had still been sharp and sweet.

Tonight was nothing short of a shit storm, one that could have easily been avoided. That's something I intend to change. _Never _do I want to live through another moment like that in my life. And I won't either, not if I've got anything to do with it.

* * *

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?"

"Nope," Christian replies, popping the 'p'.

I feel his hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbing soft circles into my denim clad flesh. It's mid November, and I'm freezing, so I'm covered head to toe in warm clothing. My less than glamorous ensemble consists of jeans, knee-high boots and a thick turtle neck sweater. I have no idea where we're going, but my husband told me to dress comfortably, so comfortable I am.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost."

"Are you taking me on The Grace?" I ask, although I hope not. I'm all for an afternoon on the water, but not today. The weather is grim and I'm not sure how I feel about being stuck on a damn boat when all I can think about is rocky waters and heavy rain. _Please say no._

"No." Thank God. "Stop asking questions."

"You know I hate surprises," I grumble with a huff, reaching up to fiddle with the soft silk covering my eyes. "Give me a hint."

"I'll give you a spanking if you don't shut up," He reprimands me, but I can hear the smile in his tone. Fucker is loving every second of this. "You'll know soon enough."

Flopping back against the headrest, I puff my cheeks out and fold my arms across my chest. "Can we at least have the music on?" I can hear him fiddling with the sound system, no doubt hooking his iPod up to the main speaker. After a few silent moments, our wedding song floats through the air. "Hey! Did you play that on purpose?"

"No, it's on shuffle," Christian squeezes my thigh again. "Fitting, though."

"How so?"

"You're asking questions again."

"And you're deflecting, _again." _

"Hush, woman. I happen to like this song." Now he's grinning, I can practically hear his face splitting in two.

I'm eager to take this blindfold off so I can see where we're going, but more than anything I'm pissed that I can't see my husband. Watching him drive does something to me. The way he controls the car with such poise has me squirming in my seat every single time. He's so smooth and laid back, one hand shifting the gears like he could do it in his sleep, he doesn't even blink. _Sexy bastard. _

He can make the most mundane of tasks arousing. How the hell does he do that? It baffles me even now, but I'm not complaning. I'll _never _complain. How many women can say they have a husband as hot as mine? Not many, that's for sure.

"Is Taylor tailing us?"

"No. He's already here."

"Here? We're here?" I jump forward like an over excited child.

"Don't move," Christian warns me. "I'll get your door."

I swing my feet out of the car, shoes hitting concrete as I do so. Christian grabs my hand and links our fingers together, squeezing my palm before gently leading me down what _feels _like a pathway. I can hear the gravel crunching beneath our shoes but other than that, it's silent.

The cold air hits my face in a rush, making me gasp slightly. I regret leaving my coat at home, but I don't get much time to mull over my poor choices when the sound of jangling keys grows closer, leaving me more intrigued than I was before. "Okay, where are we?"

"Hold on," His hands leave mine before tangling at the back of my head. Christian's deft fingers tug at the tight knot of my blindfold and I hold my breath, whatever this is, he really wanted to surprise me. "Open your eyes."

I blink several times, my eyes re-adjusting to the light, allowing them the time to focus. Standing before me is the house I've been thinking about every day for the last six days, the house I've been looking at daily ever since Erica emailed us the listing, the house we're supposed to be viewing next week.

"What's this?" I ask, my voice quiet and timid. Christian shoves his hands in the back pocket of his jeans and cocks his hip, a beautiful smile kissing his lips. "I thought-"

"I pushed it forward, I wanted us to do this alone."

"Alone?" I frown. "Where's Erica?"

"She knows we're here, don't worry. I'm not breaking and entering or anything," He grins, tapping my nose with his index finger. "I just couldn't wait another second. I know how much you want to see the place. You do, don't you?"

"Of course I do," I breathe, my feet already itching to step over the threshold. I've been thinking about this moment ever since I pulled that email up, and now that we're here, I just _know_ I won't be disappointed with what's waiting for us inside. "How did you even pull this off?"

"A little gentle persuasion goes a long way, baby. You'd be surprised what I can pull off." I swat his chest with my hand, making him grunt. "Are you ready?"

_Baby, I've been ready for days._

The spacious foyer greets us, the wooden beams and panels just how I'd pictured them. Instead of white clinical walls and sleek marble tiles, the travertine flooring provides a warm, homey feeling, something I've wanted ever since I stepped into Christian's apartment – _our _apartment.

The brazilian cherry wood carries through the house, which I _love. _Now, I'm no architect or designer, but I can still appreciate the beauty of a well crafted home. This is _that. _It's incredible. It's more than I'd ever imagined.

We walk hand in hand, silently drinking in every detail, sharing nothing more than secret smiles. The spiral staircase leads to five entirely different bedroooms, three beautiful bathrooms, a study, a gym, and what looks like a man cave – dark wood, brick walls, and a _huge _bar with plush leather chairs and stools. _Holy shit. _

I don't know how long we've been here, but when we come to a halt in the main living area, I realize it's only been thirty-minutes at the most. _We must have been sprinting around the damn place. _My forehead touches the floor to ceiling window, the view of the Sound taking my breath away.

"We'll be looking at that every day for the rest of our lives," Christian slides in behind me, his palms gripping my hips as he pulls me into his chest. "I've always loved the water."

"It's beautiful," Hair is swept away from my neck, soft lips pressing against the spot beneath my ear lobe, making me shudder. He sways me slightly, almost like we're dancing. I relax completely, my head lolling into the crook of his neck. I don't want to move, I could stay here in this spot forever and feel completely satisfied. "I think we've found our house."

"I knew that the second I drove through the gate," Christian breathes. "I thought I'd want something more derelict, something we could build up and make our own, but this is just perfect."

"Don't knock it down," I plead. Turning my face, I kiss his unshaven jaw softly. "I don't want to change a thing, baby. This is more than I even thought I wanted."

"Me too," He agrees quietly. "Five years from now, we'll be here, in this exact same spot. Watching our kids playing outside. I'll expand that play house," He points through the glass at the small white wooden house in the yard, although I can barely see it. The garden is fucking _huge. _

"Actually, fuck that. They'll all want one each, I'll build more." I grin at his enthusiasm, the way his voice tilts with excitement. "What about a tree house? No, they're too dangerous."

"I'm sure the little houses will be fine," I smile, allowing my own imagination to run wild. "Barbecues in the summer, dinner parties in the winter. God, just think what Christmas will be like. Grace won't mind, will she? I know you're all used to traditional Christmases at Bellevue, but I really think it will be good to try something different. Make our own traditions-"

I get myself so wrapped up in what could be, I don't even notice Christian's fingers fumbling with the clasp of my jeans until the sound of my zipper fills the air. "What are you doing?"

"Hmm, nothing." He pants in my ear. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Well, that depends on how far you're thinking of taking this." Warm fingers connect with soft flesh. How he's even managed to wriggle his hand into my second skin denim surprises me, but I can barely think beyond that. He's right _there. _One little shift of the fingers and I'll be so far gone I won't be able to stop him. "Christian, this isn't our house yet. We can't just-"

"Shh," He licks my ear lobe, his hands well and truly hooked into my jeans so he can push them past my hips. "It's as good as, baby. You want it, I want it. What the fuck are we waiting for."

"But what if someone catches us?"

By this point, I'm naked from the waist down. My jeans are tangled around my ankles the best they can with my boots in the way. Christian yanks my sweater higher in his race to claim my breasts, palms roughly colliding with each mound like he's never touched them before. This is crazy. We're in broad daylight, half naked in the middle of a house that doesn't even belong to us. Oddly enough, I can't deny the rush it gives me. My thighs clench and my clit throbs almost painfully.

"My girl likes that," I'm pushed forward, Christian telling me to brace my palms against the glass. "You're just as filthy as I am, baby. You want this."

_Yes, I do. I really, really, do! _

His hard shaft rubs against my naked butt cheek, taunting me with each smooth ridge. I'm out of my mind. My breath steams up the window, frosting the glass so I can't see anything. This is wrong and naughty, but oh so exciting.

Christian is right. This house is as _good _as ours. Signing paperwork is just a technicality, I couldn't have stumbled across a buliding any more perfect if I tried. The second my husband sinks inside, all the places we'll fuck around this house fills my mind, spurring me on. Sex in Escala is mindblowing. The balcony, the library, the gym. I've marked my territory all over that apartment and then some, erasing any memories of old whores he may or may not still have. He assures me over and over again that none of them mattered, and I believe him. But he's still had sex with another woman in the home we share, whether he cared about them or not, he's still had a woman that wasn't me.

"This is just the start, baby." He grunts behind me, fucking me just as hard as I'm fucking him. "This is ours. It's all for us."

I sink against the glass, lifeless and slack as my husband thrusts his hips so hard all that can be heard is the sound of our slapping flesh. I give myself to him completely, daydreaming about copper haired little boys running through the grass, their father giving chase and tossing them up in the air with a loud laugh. I dream about a little baby girl with my eyes, doting on her daddy and wrapping him around her precious pinky finger. I dream about birthday parties, playing in the snow and watching the water.

Our new life together...so close I can almost taste it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 23- For You I Am Thankful**

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

Opening a letter from my mother the morning before Thanksgiving was _not _how I envisioned starting my day. In her typical, charming fashion; Carla's timing was impeccable as ever. I had woken up happy, and now I'm in a bitch mood.

I tore the damn thing open in secret, locking myself in the bathroom while Christian fastened his cufflinks in the bedroom. I'd shoved the envelope down my bra, cringing as the all too familiar scent hit my nostrils, the smell feeling like a sucker punch to the gut. That was always her signature move, drenching every letter, note and post it in her overly floral perfume. I once found the smell comforting. Now it's just nauseating.

Every single word jumped off the page, infuriating me beyond my control. My teeth were clenched and my jaw was stiff. It's almost like she _knew _it would provoke such an intense reaction, and I don't mean in the positive sense either.

I should've walked away the second I saw Taylor rifling through our mail like he does most mornings. It's all part of the screening process, and I'm always grateful. The last thing I want to do is read through a detailed play-by-play describing how a middle aged lawyer in Portland wants to defile me, getting off on watching me bound and gagged while I beg until my throat is horse. _Trust me, it wasn't a pretty picture. _

But I knew something was wrong when his fingertips skimmed a particular envelope. His back stiffened and his eyes hardened. I shouldn't have been spying. I should've left him to do his job, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. The moment I saw her unmistakable chicken scrawl, I just knew.

I seethed in silence for hours, huffing through the morning as discreetly as I could before Christian clocked onto my foul mood. Fortunately for me, he's none the wiser. As soon as Elliot and Kate arrived, he hightailed it down to the penthouse gym quicker than I could blink, pissing me off even more.

So here I am. Fussing over my green bean casserole, growing more and more frustrated with Kate by the second.

Paper leaves. That's all I need her to make. Anyone would think I've asked her to crack the fucking Di Vince code she looks _that _perplexed. Her brows pinch together and her grip on the pair of scissors she's holding tightens somewhat. If I didn't know her any better, I'd think she's about to gauge my eyes out.

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because it's tradition," I huff. "Why else would I be asking you to to it? For shits and giggles?"

"Forty minutes." She mumbles under her breath.

"Excuse me?"

"I wondered how long it would take before you snapped. I was placing a bet with myself."

"Do I even want to know what the hell it is you're talking about?"

Placing the scissors down, she leans across the counter and taps her fingernails against my empty wine glass, cocking her perfectly shaped brow in my direction. "That's your third empty this afternoon, you _never _drink that much that fast. Plus you've been stirring the shit out of those frozen peas for the last ten minutes without blinking gives, Steele? I feel like I'm teetering on eggshells around your miserable ass."

"Okay firstly, the expression is _walking _on eggshells. Secondly, it's Grey now not Steele and thirdly...nothing is wrong. I'm fucking fine."

"The fact that you just put 'fucking' in front of fine, tells me you're _not _fine."

"Haven't you thought that maybe it's _you _pissing me off? You're butchering those fucking leaves to death!"

"That's the second F Bomb you've dropped in less than twenty seconds. You sure do have a potty mouth when you're pissed." She narrows her eyes, picking up a fresh piece of orange card. "And these leaves are fine. You're just being a Moaning Myrtle."

"And you're being a pain in my ass. Fucking quit it,"

"If I were a better person, I'd wash your mouth out with soap and water."

"I much prefer wine." I pick up the half full bottle of Sancerre and shake it for emphasis. Or is it half empty? Ehh. Call it whatever you will. I'm still drinking it. "I'll finish it if it's too much trouble, Kate."

"It isn't." She huffs. "I just wish you would tell me what's eating you."

"It's nothing."

My voice is softer now, more soothing. I feel bad for acting like a bitch, especially when she's done very little to deserve it. But in my defence, I have very good reason. I'm hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for eleven people in twenty four hours, my husband is completely MIA, my delusional mother is back on the warpath and my make shift leaves still aren't fucking finished. _Why did I even get out of bed this morning? _

Kate shoots me a sympathetic glance, and for a split second I contemplate telling her, but then I quickly decide against it. My best friend hates my mother almost as much as Christian does, and she doesn't even know the full story. If I tell her Carla has wrote me, shit will seriously hit the fan. Besides, I can't tell Kate before telling Christian. He'd never forgive me. I'd never forgive myself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She persists.

"No."

"Sure?"

"Yep."

I'm immature, I know full well that I am, but I still can't help myself. It's like word vomit. Luckily, Kate gets me. I don't know what I would do if she didnt.

"How are my leaves?" I mumble almost pathetically. I'm more bothered about this fucking message board over anything else.

"They're coming," Her lips curl up into a smirk, but it disappears as quickly as it comes. "What are these even for anyway?"

"It's just something Ray always did when I was a kid. I guess it's kinda' stuck."

"I wouldn't peg Christian Grey as the traditional type," She presses her closed fist over a dark red leaf, willing for it to stick.

"He's not." I snort. "Well, not like me anyway,"

I finish preparing my casserole in silence, occasionally sipping my wine. Kate watches me out of the corner of her eye putting me on edge. She's concerned, and I can't really blame her. But I just need to figure my shit out alone. Without Kate, and without Christian. As difficult as that may feel.

In the end, I'm grateful for Kate's company. She doesn't press for information although I can tell she's desperate to. Instead, she plies me with wine and devotes all of her attention to my message board until it's perfectly complete.

I find myself staring at it, glass of wine in glued to my hand. Who knew a linen covered frame with foam core could make me so happy? My fingers itch for the marker beside it, I want nothing more than to write down what I'm most thankful for, anything to drag me back to the here and now.

But I don't. I wont.

I drain the remainder of my wine and reluctantly turn my back on Kate's masterpiece. My undecorated dining table awaits.

* * *

"Ana, for the love of all that is holy, _please _will you let me help."

"Getting withdrawals, huh?" I don't look up from my footed glass container as I tie the final ribbon, but that doesn't stop the knowing smirk creeping onto my face. "Chill your jets, Gail. I'm almost done."

I hear her heavy sigh, and it only makes me smile wider. I love that she wants to help so desperately, and her need to remain busy despite it being her day off is heartwarming. But I've got this.

"Have you completed everything on your check list?" Well, shit.

"Almost. I just need to fill those glass cups with nuts-" Before I can even finish, Gail has her greedy paws on my glasses and candles, a big grin cracking across her unusually bare face. "Oh, what the hell. I'd be here until midnight otherwise."

"I hope you won't mind me prying like this, Ana." Her voice is quiet and cautious, almost like she's too wary of what she's about to ask me. "But are you okay?"

_Oh, Christ here we go. _

"I'm fine," I force a smile. "Why'd you ask?"

"You just seem...out of sorts, is all. Forgive me, I'm speaking out of turn."

"No you're not," I wave my hand out. _Damage control. _"I guess I'm just thinking about tomorrow."

She knits her brows together, her delicate fingers carefully arranging a candle so it's just so. She's waiting for me to elaborate, and I start to sweat somewhat. I really thought she'd be happy with that and move on. _I guess not. _"I'm just worried about Grace. I don't want her to think I'm stepping on her toes or anything." _Lie._

"But I thought she was all for coming here? Has she said something?" My heart melts. She sounds genuinely concerned, and although I don't know what she would actually do if I disrespected Grace, she is her employers mother after all. I can't see her willingly scratching her eyeballs out. Not that I would. I feel _awful _for even saying _that. _Grace hasn't done anything to upset me in the slightest.

_I'm going to hell._

"No, nothing like that." I rub my fingers across my forehead. "I think I'm just tired."

Snatching the reel of ribbon away from me, Gail presses her palms into my shoulders and shakes her head. "You need to call it a night. Your father will be here soon, you don't want to be all spaced out when he gets here do you?"

"I don't need a break-"

"I won't take no for an answer," She insists. Her eyes are growing larger by the second. "I'll fix you a tea."

"Okay, I'll rest." I sigh. "But I can make my own tea."

She doesn't like it, of course she doesn't. She's so used to running around after me that she doesn't know what to do with a little time off. _And she tells me to rest. Pfft. _

Eventually, she concedes. Letting me fix my own fucking tea while she drags herself away to pack ready for leaving for her sister's tomorrow morning. I find myself in the library a few minutes later, slumped in my favourite chair with my feet dangling over the cushioned armrest.

I don't read. I don't listen to music. I just sit and sip my ginger tea, staring at nothing in particular as I drag my fingers through my hair. It's matted from cooking all day, and I'm sure I've tugged at it several times whilst thinking about my mother and her oh so lovely letter. _Bitch. _

Wriggling my toes, I cringe when I note that the polish on my toenails is looking less than healthy. _When did I last get a pedicure? _I dig my nail into the side of my toe and scrape away the pathetic remnants of what once was a deep red. Fire Bow, was it? I can't remember, but I make a mental note to fix it as soon as tomorrow is out of the way.

I'm running a hand over my shin, absentmindedly checking for hair when a tingle shoots down the length of my spine. The door clicks closed, and it takes all I have to stop a threatening shudder from racking my body. It's always the same. Evey time we're in the same room, everything tightens and coils together. That's just the effect my husband has on my body.

I tip my head back, watching Christian pad across the room from an upside down angle. He's still wearing his work out clothes, and when he bends to kiss the tip of my nose, the unmistakable scent of male sweat hits me like a tidal wave. How can he smell so good after being in the gym for hours on end? I'd be grunting like a pig.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," He perches his butt on the edge of the coffee table and rests his elbows on his knees. Beads of sweat coat his brow and his hair is damp and tousled, but I don't think I've ever wanted him more. "Why are you sitting alone in the dark?"

I'm not sitting in the dark, I flicked the lamp on in the corner. "I just needed quiet time. Where have you been all day?"

I didn't intend for that to sound snappy, but it did anyway. Elliot and Kate left hours ago. Why didn't he come and find me sooner? My fingers tighten around my cup.

"I had some work to finish." He mumbles. "I told Taylor where I was."

"Oh that's all right then. You told _Taylor _where you were. There I was worrying for no apparent reason."

"What's with the attitude?"

"It would just be nice if my husband communicated with me every once in a while. _Me. _Not the staff."

"You're referring to Taylor as staff? You must be pissed." His lip quirks up, but I'm in no mood for fucking laughing. "Okay, I'm sorry. I should've found you sooner. "

"It's not even about that." I snap.

"No? Could've fooled me."

Puffing my cheeks out, I slam my cup down on the table and kick my legs out, jumping up with a huff. "Fuck, I came in here for some peace. Not for the third degree."

"So you're mad at me for ignoring you all day, now you're pissed because I'm talking to you? What the fuck, babe?"

"_Don't_ babe me. You know I fucking hate it when you call me that."

I'm halfway across the room, ready to bolt when his next sentence has me freezing in my tracks. "Kate was right. You are in a bitchy mood."

Oh hell to the fucking _no. _

"Excuse me?" I whip my body around to face him, my eyes narrowing into slits. "What was that?"

"Kate said that -"

"Yeah, I know what _Kate _said. When did you speak to her?"

He looks at me perplexed. Like I've just accused him of having an affair. "When they were waiting for the elevator. She just mentioned that you were...sensitive this afternoon. Seems to me like you still fucking are "

Fucking Kate. A) Where was I when they were having this little mother's meeting? B) Why is she talking about me behind my back? C) Why? Fuck why?

Okay. _Now _I'm pissed off.

"I'm taking a shower. Don't follow me."

"Anastasia, don't think you can just walk out of here without telling me what the fuck is wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me!"

My hand is on the handle, ready to yank the door open when Christian's palm slams it shut. I let out a little whimper. Out of frustration more than anything. His breath is hot and heavy against my ear, and I just _know _I've rattled his cage.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I grunt, trying the door again but my efforts are futile. I'm not going anywhere. "You're in my way."

I stretch my arm out to shove him away, but before I can make contact, my body is pressed against the door; my back to Christian's chest. One hand grips my hip, the other scooping my hair away from my neck before gathering it around his wrist. He yanks my head back hard, pressing his mouth against my neck. He doesn't kiss me, he just pants heavily.

"You're pushing me, Ana." He sounds almost tortured. "Something's bothering you, and I want to know what it is "

I'm actually surprised he doesn't already know about the letter. I thought Taylor would've told him by now for sure. The guy is risking a lot by keeping this from Christian, and I know when I tell him he'll be furious with the both of us. Because I will tell him. But right now, he's pissing me off. And I'm not telling him shit.

"Get off me, you fucking asshole."

I hear his sharp intake of breath, and for a second I think I've pushed him too far. But when he pushes against me, I feel his cock prodding into my ass. _Oh shit. _I've definitely rattled his cage, just the _wrong _cage.

His tongue darts from his mouth, flicking my earlobe just how I like it. Heat pools between my legs, but I will myself to ignore it. I may crave this man more than life itself, but I'm tired of him using sex as a buffer between us. Well, maybe not _that _tired. It just pisses me off. _And turns me on. _He's such a conceited jackass. _He's a fucking sex God. _

Christian snakes his hand between us, cupping my sex roughly as he hisses in my ear. "I think I know what you want."

"Trust me, you really don't." I lie. This is exactly what I want. His hand touching me right there.

"No?" He purrs, grinding his arousal into my back. "Are you sure?"

"Christian, back off."

Suddenly, I'm facing him. My back against the door. He looks almost feral, ready to devour me and fuck if that doesn't turn me on. He grips my hips, hooks his fingers into my yoga pants and roughly shoves them down my legs. I open my mouth to protest, anything to get me out of this so I can think straight, but then his fingers are inside me. My head hits the door with a thud, and before I can stop myself, I'm lifting my leg and hooking it around Christian's hip.

"That's it, baby. Ride my hand "

I _really _don't need telling twice, despite desperately wanting to push him away from me. I can't let him do this. No matter how good it feels.

"Christian, no." I pant when his mouth makes contact with my left breast.

_When the hell did he get that out of my bra? _His lips suckle, drawing my nipple into his mouth with such adoration I could cry.

"Come on, baby." He whispers with a mouth full of breast. "Let me fuck it all away."

How am I supposed to handle him talking like that? I want nothing more than to let him bend me over and fill me up. I want to feel his body hovering over mine, pressing me into our bed as he fucks me.

I want it so badly, but I shouldn't. I should be telling him about the letter, showing it to him. We need to discuss it together, and I need to figure out what the hell it means.

But I don't tell him any of that. I don't know _what _I tell him. But in the next breath, he's lifting my thighs and hoisting me up against the door. He teases my folds with the head of his cock for what feels like hours, when in actual fact it's seconds. Then he's inside me.

Hard and throbbing. Splitting me in half. My fingers clutch the hair at the nape of his neck, breathing through my nose as he slowly starts to slide in and out.

His breathing quickens and his thrusts grow more and more frenzied. We're a hot mesh of hands and teeth, gnawing at each other like we haven't been together in weeks.

I push my mother out of my head along with her stupid fucking letter. I shove them both to the back of my mind and let my husband fuck me. Which he does. He fucks me raw against the door of our library, my ass pounding the wood so hard I'm sure I'll bruise.

But I don't care. When he bites my neck, I tell him to bite harder. When his cock hits that sweet spot inside me, I tell him to fuck me faster. And when he makes me come, I grind and writhe until he's hard again, begging him to screw me all over again.

Because right now, this is all that makes sense to me.

* * *

**Christian's POV**

"Happy turkey day!" My mom beams as she crosses the room in record speed, clutching a huge dish to her chest. "Sorry we're late, your father was fussing."

I rush to take whatever the fuck she's carrying out of her arms before it smashes all over my floor. The unmistakable scent of apple wafts through the air. "Mom, we told you not to bring anything."

"Oh hush," She waves her hand out. "It's only an apple and caramel cheesecake. And a peacan pie."

Yeah, _only. _Luckily, I forewarned my wife about my mother's tendency to over do things slightly, even when she's taking a backseat. Good fucking job I did, otherwise we'd have deserts coming out of our fucking ears.

"Ray, good to see you." Dad shakes my father-in-law's hand and bends to offer Jen a kiss on the cheek. She's barely said more than two words since arriving late last night. No doubt because she doesn't know how to handle her newfound status as Ray's girlfriend. Last time she was here, she was just Ana's Aunt Jen. Now she's the _lady friend. _Talk about fucking awkward. "When did you get here?"

_Exactly at the right fucking time. _I'd just come inside my wife, fucking her for a second time with her bent over the cherry wood desk in the middle of the room. She was so fucking hot, meeting me thrust for thrust. I don't know what the fuck had gotten into her, but the woman I found in the library was _not_ the same woman who left.

She was pissed at me. What the hell for, I'm still unsure of, but I had _definitely _fucked her off. Luckily for me, I have a cock that can do all the fucking apologizing needed when my mouth is of no use. She looked so beautiful. Slumped over the desk with her tits hanging out, cum dripping down her milky thighs. I felt like a God.

But what I heard next had my dick shrinking inside my fucking ball sac.

Ray shouting Ana's name. Calling for her. I don't think I've ever seen my girl jumping into action as quickly as she did then. Her tit was barely back inside her bra when the door flew open. How I managed it, I don't know, but I'd successfully shoved my limp cock back into my sweat pants just in time.

Ray and Jen stood there at the threshold, huge fucking grins on their faces and duffel bags at their feet. My heart dropped into my fucking stomach, but when I looked at Ana, I literally sagged with relief.

I'd expected her to be all fucking disheveled, guilt written all over her flushed face. But she wasn't. I don't know where she'd gotten it from, but her nose was in a thick file. Brows pinched together as if she had been fully immersed in whatever the fuck she was reading. I just stood there, looking like a fucking prick but thankfully, my workout clothes gave me an alibi.

I'm dripping in sweat because I've just done a marathon session in the gym. _Not because I've been fucking your daughter into oblivion. _

I don't know how, but Ray and Jen were none the wiser. I'm pretty sure if he knew what we'd been doing, I'd be walking with a limp right about now.

Ana avoided eye contact with me all night, just like I avoided the same thing with her. If we'd looked at each other for more than a second, I would've fucking lost it.

When we were finally alone in our bedroom, we could barely breathe. Ana flapped her hands in the air, shrieking something about peeing her pants but I couldn't stop. That was without a doubt, the most single terrifying moment of my life. My wife's father and his girlfriend were _this _close to getting a front row fucking seat. I'd literally been balls deep inside her, our cum all mixed together not even ten seconds before they both walked through the door.

I have no fucking clue how we managed to throw ourselves together so quickly, and when I asked Ana where the fuck she pulled that dossier from, she couldn't even answer me. Her eyes were brimming with tears and her stomach was trembling. I can't remember the last time we laughed that hard together.

My wife breaks me out of my trance when she saunters into the room, looking so fucking beautiful I can barely breathe. Whatever was eating away at her yesterday seems to be long forgotten. _Thank fuck. _She sets a bottle down onto the table, gesturing for someone to do the honors. Elliot beats me to the punch.

Ogling her ass in those tight little yoga pants gets me hard every single time, but I do fucking love it when she wears a dress. Or a skirt. Or pants. Basically, I love anything that sticks to her like a second skin. It's like she _knows _what she does to me.

And I have no doubt in my mind that she was thinking of me this morning when she picked out this little number.

My girl has been kind to me.

She's wearing a black and white block coloured dress, the hem hitting mid thigh. While it doesn't show off her gorgeous tits or stick to her amazing ass, it makes her legs look like they go on for_fucking_ever. Which they do.

Not only that, but her hair and make up is just how I fucking like it. Natural. Don't get me wrong, she's fucking _hot _with deep red lips and big bouncy waves. And whenever she goes all out with her eyes, I always make her deep throat me. There's something so fucking satisfying about seeing her face smeared with mascara when my cock hits her tonsils and makes her eyes water. It makes me lose control.

But like this, she's so fucking gorgeous it makes my chest hurt. This is the woman I fell in love with. The only woman I'll ever need.

"Christian, you could've at least worn a tie."

Mom fusses with the collar of my dark gray shirt, huffing as she brushes my shoulders like they're covered in dust. Once she's satisfied, she turns her attention to Elliot.

"Mom, get the fuck off me." He recoils in horror when she licks her thumb and reaches for his cheek. "There's nothing there, you crazy woman!"

"Hold still. You have a little pink...right here."

"It's your fucking lipstick. Keep your paws away from me."

Dad slaps the back of his head, just like he did when we were kids. "Don't talk to your mother like that, boy."

All we need now is a half naked Mia bursting onto the scene, wearing mom's heels and tattle-tailing just like she always did and we'd be going back in time. I catch her eye from where she sits on the couch cross-legged, decked out from head to toe in Gucci. She sticks her tongue out when she catches me watching her, no doubt thinking the same thing.

"Kate, I'm ready when you are."

Ana sets her untouched flute of champagne down and heads back the way she came, making me frown. I get that she'll be busy with dinner all day, but this is her Thanksgiving too, and I want her to enjoy it.

"I don't mind helping, sweetie?"

Kate practically beams from ear to ear at my mother's offer to help Anastasia in the kitchen, rolling her eyes when my wife waves her off without another word. She grunts and groans, pulling herself up off the sofa like she's about to walk death row. Wow. She really does fucking hate domesticity, doesn't she?

"Christian, can I have a word?" I almost chew her out for stalling, but when she asks me if I figured out was wrong with Ana yesterday, I'm all fucking ears. "She was _pissed _at me for saying something to you last night. I thought she was going to hurl the damn Turkey at my head when I walked into the kitchen earlier."

"I got shit out of her." _Not exactly true, I got two orgasms. _But I'm sure as fuck not telling Kate that. "She's just stressed. She's been preparing this dinner all fucking week."

"You're kidding right? This _is _Ana we're talking about. That woman could whoop Thanksgiving's ass in her sleep." She chugs her champagne. "It's not that."

"Well, what did she say to you?"

"Fuck all! That's what I'm trying to tell you. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it and she said no."

_So there is something to talk about. _I'm no fucking idiot. I knew something was bugging her the second I found her sitting in the library staring into space. I thought I managed to break through slightly, but that was just the hot sex. Fucking always calms her down regardless.

"Let me talk to her."

"No," Kate stops me passing with a hand on my chest. "You'll just piss her off and stress her out. And I would actually like to eat at some point today."

"Oh yeah," I scoff. "Because you're so delicate and subtle."

"More than you."

She flips her hair over her shoulder and struts away with extra sass in her step. Elliot wags his eyebrow and rolls his tounge before tipping his beer back. Fucker heard all that.

Yeah yeah. I've got a bitchy woman on my hands. So fucking what.

"Hey, man I'm not judging. I thought Kate was gonna kill me when I told her I wasn't spending Thanksgiving with her crazy ass family." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Her mom is the only one I can tolerate "

"What about her dad?"

"You've met him right? The guy is a total fucking douche. I'll bet any money he's cheating on his wife."

"Fuck off."

"Straight up! He's such a fucking sleaze. I caught him checking out the waitress at your club at least twice."

"Since when have _you _considered looking as cheating?"

"Hey! I'm a changed fucking man. Least I am now she's got that ring on her finger."

"Yeah, what is that?" I fold my arms across my chest. "Why not just fucking propose? It all means the same thing."

"No it doesn't. Believe _me _it doesn't."

He can just keep telling himself that, but Kate will look at that fucking ring and see marriage. Even if she is completely frigid when it comes to commitment. "You don't know what you're missing, brother. You could have a hot little wife if you just let yourself."

"Quit saying that shit. You sound like fucking Mia."

"Mia called Kate hot?" I smirk.

"You know what I mean," He narrows his eyes."Speaking of hot wives, what the fuck is eating yours?"

"Fuck. Nothing." This is pissing me off. Elliot is just going off what Kate has to!d him, and Kate knows sweet fuck all. _Just like me._ "She's allowed an off day."

"Christian, the poor bitch married _you. _She's allowed more than one fucking off day." He tips his beer bottle again, shaking it with a frown when he realizes it's empty. "You missed golf this morning? Dad was pissed."

"I don't give a fuck what dad was," I grumble.

"It's tradition."

"Fuck tradition. Ana needed me here," I shake my head. "I left her all day yesterday to work out with you. That's what probably pissed her off in the first place."

"Fucking women," Elliot grunts under his breath. "You're as much use as fucking Kate. Surely she knows that.?"

"I don't give a shit. It is what is."

I slope away from our family and head for the kitchen. I just need to see my wife, I need to make sure she's okay. But when I round the corner and see her with her head on Kate's shoulder as she sobs, I see fucking red. I'm halfway across the kitchen when Kate spots me and shakes her head, silently pleading with me to stop. Ana has her back to me, so she can't see me, but I can't fucking walk away without going to her. _She needs me. _

Like she can read my mind, Kate holds her hand up, mouthing the word 'later' almost inaudibly. I want to flip her off and go to my girl, but deep down, I know she only has Ana's best interests at heart. She's finally told Kate what's wrong with her, and it's made her cry.

Every worse case scenario is running through my head, and it takes every ounce of fucking strength I have to turn my ass around and walk away from my distraught wife. This isn't over.

No fucking _way _is this over.

* * *

I'm drumming my fingers against the cool surface of the dining table, the other hand curled around Anastasia's thigh. She doesn't question my possessive hold on her, even though I've been gripping her flesh like a fucking caveman for the last twenty minutes. Three courses later, another fresh bottle of champagne, and I still can't shake the nauseating burn rooted in the pit of my stomach. Ever since I walked in on my wife crying, I've been on edge, ready to explode.

Even now, watching her as she hands my Grandmother a small glass of wine, because she knows she can't handle the really fizzy shit, _something _is bothering her. No one would know she was sobbing in the kitchen not even two hours ago. Her make-up was fresh, no doubt all thanks to Kate carrying a shit ton of concealer in her purse as per fucking usual. I watched her as she acted like the perfect hostess, laughing with my mother and sipping on her champagne. She smiled in all the right places, laughed at all the right jokes, and when she saw me nursing my untouched Bollinger, she poured me a Bourbon and pressed a soft kiss on my lips, because that's just how fucking perfect she is.

It kills me that she won't talk to me. I should've forced the truth out of her last night, but instead I fucked her up a wall and against a desk, choosing to screw her when I should have been comforting her. _I'm such a fucking shit. _

I want to grab her hand, and drag her out of this room. I don't want to sit here and listen to Mia warbling on about the fucking sales. I don't want to make small talk and kiss my dad's ass all because he's pissed at me for missing golf, and I swear to _fuck, _if I hear Elliot burping one more time, I'll rip his fucking head off.

Kate shoots me a sympathetic glance from across the table, her face etched with concern. I'm a second away from telling her to go fuck herself, because _she _knows what's wrong with my girl and I don't, when Anastasia leans in. She squeezes the hand clamped on her thigh, a shiver running through me when her warm breath hits my cheek.

'Can we sneak away soon?" She smells like apple pie, champagne and Ana. I twist my neck to face her, and a small smirk curls at the corner of her mouth. "Not for _that. _Last night has scarred me for life."

"What for, then?"

My voice is hoarse, and for the first time in fucking ever, it's thick with trepidation and not arousal. Don't get me wrong, if my wife dropped to her knees and went to suck me off, I wouldn't fucking push her away, but that isn't what I want right now. I need something else much more.

"What are you two whispering about over there?"

I meet Mia's amused stare, narrowing my gaze into venomous slits when she leans in like we're about to share some big fucking secret. She presses her lips to her glass and takes a long sip, arching an impeccably shaped brow at the same time.

"None of your fucking business." I snap.

"Christian," My mother admonishes, clucking her tongue and shaking her head. She hates it when I curse, and although I'm fully aware how rude it is, I couldn't give a flying fuck. My house. My rules.

Ana squeezes my hand again, lifting her shoulder with a smile as she pushes her chair out. "I was just telling Christian that I need to borrow him. Please, excuse us for a moment."

"Oh yeahhh," Elliot drawls with his mouth full, leaning over Kate and pointing his spoon in our direction with a stupid fucking grin on his face. "No need to sugar coat the truth, you pair of fucking horn dogs."

That earns himself a slap on the head, two if you're counting Kate's feeble attempt. She's grinning just as much as her fucking oaf of a boyfriend. Mom opens her mouth to no doubt rip him a new one, but it's Ray's ice cold glare that has Elliot sinking lower into his chair. His face pales and his throat bobs with an audible swallow. If I wasn't so nervous about this impending conversation, I'd be laughing my ass off right about now. _Dick. _

Ana shakes it off and links our fingers together, shooting our party a final smile before gently leading me away. I don't know what the fuck to expect. My heart is pounding so hard, I'm surprised I haven't passed out. My palms sweat, and my throat closes up. If I hadn't walked in on her crying, this wouldn't be affecting me in the slightest.

But whatever she's about to tell me, it upset her enough to make her cry. Fuck. What if I can't handle it? What if my whole word is about to come crashing down? _Has she found someone else? _Fucking hell, I can't even...my mind can't tolerate the thought of that for a single second. Neither can my heart.

"Christian? Are you okay?" I must have my eyes closed, because when I open them, Anastasia is sitting in the middle of our bed with her hands folded in her lap. _When did we come in here? _She's looking at me with nothing but concern etched on her beautiful face, and I quickly realize it's because I'm slumped up the wall with my hand clutching my chest. _That's _how fucking painful the thought of my wife with another man is. Her brow furrows, and I release a heavy breath when she shifts in her spot.

"What is it?" I all but fucking whimper. "Baby, whatever it is, please just tell me."

She shifts again, staring at her clasped hands, and that's when I see it. The crumpled sheet of paper resting across her lap. She fusses with it for several minutes and puffs her cheeks out before stretching her hand out. Passing me the letter.

"This came for me yesterday." She explains. "I know I should have shown it to you sooner, but honestly I just didn't know how."

"What is it?"

"Just read it," she breathes, knotting her fingers together. "It's better if you just read it."

I don't know what the fuck this is, purely because I haven't even looked at the piece of paper for longer than three seconds, but whatever is on it, she wants me to read it. So I do.

_Anastasia, _

_I can't tell you why I've decided to write this letter, maybe because I don't actually know myself, but here I am. Writing this damn letter. Forgive me, but what I'm about to say to you may upset you. You were always so stubborn and strong willed, you get that from your father. Your __**real **__father. I'm not talking about Ray. He was merely a replacement, if you can even call him that. Anyhow, I'm getting off track. You know better than anyone, how I can be. _

_I don't know what has made you so cold and callous towards me, but quite frankly, I'm quite tired of it. It's Thanksgiving, and I truly have nothing to be thankful for where you're concerned. You are my daughter, my flesh and blood, yet you continue to treat me like a complete stranger. Scratch that, even strangers receive more gratitude than I do. I know I haven't been the best mother to you over the years, and for that I will always be sorry. But this has got to stop. _

_I have no doubt in my mind,that this recent change in your behaviour is all down to Christian. Congratulations, by the way. I cant say it didn't hurt when you didn't invite me to your wedding, but I'm happy for you regardless. You looked lovely. Money clearly suits you, that dress definitely wasnt off the rack. Is that what this is? Are you too good for me now? Too superior? Does your new rich husband disapprove of me, is that it? Of course it is. You wouldn't have cut me out of your life otherwise. Even before with Ray sticking his nose in, you never ignored me or stopped taking my phone calls. Brody didnt dislike me. You never __**did **__tell me what happened to him? He seemed like such a nice boy, if not a little wet, but nice none the less. _

_Which brings me back to Christian. Controlling you is he? I never had you down for a weak woman, Anastasia. Why else would you treat me with such malice? Why would you change your number? If this isn't __**him**__, then why are you acting like such a cold hearted little bitch? To say I'm disappointed in you is an understatement. I thought I raised you better than that. Where is your respect? Where is your __**self **__respect? _

_I've met someone. Someone new. His name is George, and despite your bitchy little attitude, I'd like you to meet him. What's more, he would like to meet you. He has a daughter a little younger than you, and I think you would get along swimmingly. I always wanted a sibling for you. Maybe if Ray hadn't been so selfish, I could have given you one. He was content with just having you, which I never understood. You weren't his biological child, how could you be enough? That's why George is so wonderful, he gives me what I've always wanted. He understands my needs and he provides me with every single one. Love, protection, passion. Boy, does he give me passion. I do hope you'll reach out to me. Hopefully this letter will bring you to your senses once and for all, and we can put all of this silly nonsense to bed. I still have the same number, unlike you, I didn't change it out of spite. _

_Happy Thanksgiving. _

_Love Mom._

The paper crumples in my fist, tearing slightly. I want to fucking burn it. I want to burn _her. _The fucking, spiteful bitch. Never in my life, have I encountered such an evil piece of flesh. What happened to the tearful woman not even three months ago, begging me to let her see her daughter? Where the _fuck _is she now? I toss the letter aside, dropping to my knees without giving it a second thought.

"Why didn't you show me this yesterday?" My voice is soft and soothing. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her, because I'm really fucking not. "Are you okay, baby? Fuck."

"I was a mess when I read it the first time," She mumbles quietly. "After the third time... I was nothing but numb. I'm numb."

I pull her onto the floor with me, dragging her against my chest because that's where she belongs. She belongs with me and nowhere else. It all makes sense now. Her mood yesterday, her closed off attitude when I cornered her in the library, crying in the kitchen with Kate. She didn't want me to see her cry. My sweet, sweet girl.

I run my hand through her hair, fingering the silky locks over and over again. I touch her because I need to, because she's my calm. She soothes me just as much as I soothe her.

"Don't be angry with Jason." She breathes into my neck. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind, but I _will _be having words with him. He gave her the letter. He gave it to her knowing what damage her reading it would cause, and for that, I'm pissed. But all of that can wait. "Do you know what hurt me the most? Reading that?"

"What, baby?"

"The bullshit about Ray," She gulps. "How could she say that about him, Christian? They were in love once. Before..._ he _came along, they were happy. He's my dad."

Her voice cracks on the last word, and my heart shatters that little bit more. Carla's poisonous words about Ray were just that, poisonous. They hold no truth. Ray is as much Ana's father as Carrick is mine. Blood means shit. Where my biological mother was wonderful and pure, my dad was nothing more than a sperm doner. A waste of fucking space, and if he were standing right in front of me now, I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. He never bothered to look for me, and I have to say the feeling is now mutual. But I don't need to tell Anastasia any of that. She knows.

"Are you going to contact her?"

"No." She chokes. "That's the last thing I want to do. Her and _George _can both go and fuck themselves. Surely she knew this would be my reaction?"

"Maybe," I breathe into her hair, where my nose is still buried. "Maybe that was her intention all along."

"You think she purposely set out to hurt me?"

"Don't you?" She lifts her head for a second, beautiful blue eyes shining with so much sadness and confusion, yet they shine with love and adoration all at the same time. She's fucking incredible. "God, how did something so good come from something so evil?"

"What do you mean?" She frowns.

"Nothing, baby." I push her hair out of her face and kiss the tip of her nose, leaning in so our breathing mingles together. "Do you need me to make love to you?"

Despite her shudder, she gently shakes her head no. I'd do anything to make her feel good again, and sex always does just that. It goes way beyond the physical attraction, it's like our souls fucking connect. It's a total head trip, but it's the most amazing feeling I've ever fucking experienced.

"I meant what I said,"She smirks. " Last night did something to me. I'm surprised I can even _look _at my dad."

"You know," I smile against her sweet face, pressing our foreheads together. "He probably already thinks we're in here fucking."

"What? No he doesn't!" She looks horrified. "We're in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, for crying out loud. Like we would even do that."

"Are you kidding?" I cock my head to the side and flash her my teeth. "Like that would stop us."

"You're incorrigible."

"And you're beautiful." I brush my finger down the length of her perfect nose, replacing my finger with my lips. She sighs into our kiss, melding her tongue with mine so fucking sensually, I almost come on the spot. "Are you sure I can't tempt you?"

"Hmm, I think _I'm _the one doing the tempting." To prove her point, she cups my cock over my pants and squeezes just the way I like. Then she's up on her feet, smoothing down her dress and refluffing her hair. "Come on. Before they actually do think we're fucking."

"Say that again."

"Come on?" She tilts her head to the side, watching me as I shift on the floor, caressing her sexy as fuck leg with the lightest of touches.

"No. Fucking. Say fucking again."

She bites down on her lip to stifle a smile, but it's there all the same. I'm totally serious when I ask her to talk dirty to me, it turns me on like nothing else. But getting my dick hard isn't my intention. I just wanted to do _that _right there. Make her smile.

"You're a perve, you know that?"

_Mission accomplished. _

* * *

**Anastasia's POV**

I feel as stuffed as the huge bird we've just devoured, but more than anything, I feel weightless. I should have told Christian about the letter as soon as I'd read it. Maybe it would have saved me all the crying this afternoon, but none of that matters now. He knows and I feel a shit ton better. I'm still hurt and confused, but having my husband by my side makes it bearable.

I shoo Grace away for what feels like the hundredth time as I slide another dirty plate into the dishwasher. I'm almost finished, and I'd rather she sit and relax with the rest of our family. Besides, the quiet time is soothing. It gives me space to think. I've already decided that despite what my mother believes to be an olive branch, I'm not fucking taking it. Not a chance in hell. She had her chance to fix us when I was fourteen, broken and desperate for her love. Now I'm all healed and whole, and I have everything I've ever needed and wanted.

It's ironic really. She chose today to tell me how ungrateful I am, how awful I've treated her this past year, when all she's done is made me see how truly blessed I am. I don't need her. I have everything and more, and I couldn't be more thankful.

_Fuckkk! _I slap a palm over my head and groan to the empty room. I spent all yesterday bitching over that damn message board, and I haven't even added my leaf. I all but sprint to the foyer, right where I hung it myself, and stare at it.

_Mia, Dad, Jen, Grace... _They're all here. They've all done it, some of them have even left more than one message, because we have _that _much to be grateful for. I laugh when I spot what can only be Elliot's.

_Kate's great rack. _

At least he didn't use the word tits. I'm sure Grace would have throttled him if he had. I'm pulling the cap off the marker pen with my mouth when I see it. I'd know his perfect handwriting anywhere. So masculine yet so elegant all at the same time. I lean in closer, fingers skimming his words as tears fill my ears. I don't let them fall, though. I don't need to. I'm not sad. I'm happy. For the first time today, I'm so, so fucking happy.

_My Ana. My life. My soul. Thank you for being you. Thank you for choosing me. Most of all, thank you for being my beautiful, incredible wife. I'm beyond thankful for you every single day, baby._


End file.
